1.

THE PERSONAL INJURY SKETCH - LEE THOMAS

LONDONFILMGEEK@GMAIL.COM
TOM MACCAVENDISH, AN IMMACULATELY COIFFED AND
SUITED MAN, AND TRIXIE POWERS, A HIGHLY STRUNG
YOUNG WOMEN HER HAIR PULLED BACK TIGHTLY AND SHARP
SPECTACLES BALANCED ON HER NOSE ARE DRIVING DOWN A
QUIET SUBURBAN STREET. TRIXIE IS AT THE WHEEL,
RECEVIING INSTRUCTION FROM TOM.
TOM
Now today Trixie we’re going to be covering old
ground... I know you think you have the basics down but
in my experience there’s always room for improvement.
TRIXIE
UHUH.

TRIXIE NODS.
TOM
The devil is in the details Trixie and we all know
those details are all too important nowadays. That’s
why you’re not settling for anything less than learning
from the best... Tom MacCavendish.
TRIXIE
No Sir.

TOM
Blind Spots Trixie - what do we know about Blind Spots.
TRIXIE
It’s the space around the car we can’t see Sir.

TOM
Absolutely Trixie, Good Job! Now what’s the best way to
make the most of those blind spots?
TRIXIE
I can adjust these so they’re not wide enough.
TRXIE ADJUSTS HER SIDE MIRRORS - PLACING THEM IN A
USELESS POSITION.
TOM
And... Remember you’re a... what?
TRIXIE
Erm... A women Sir. I can legitmately adjust them to do
my make-up..

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

TOM
Because.....
TRIXIE
I have a job, and have to look my best, and have a
family to feed, and my mother is ill and i’m getting
her prescription in the middle of the night...
TOM
Well okay... Let’s think about this another way... 5
things that could be in those blind spots... GO!

TRIXIE
Erm... A cyclist?
TOM
Hmmm...

TRIXIE
A Garbage Truck?
TOM
Look Trixie these are the basics you know... You need
to get a handle on these before you can even begin to
think about landing a big settlement.
TRIXIE
I know, I know... there’s just so much.

TOM
You could have any number of things in your blind
spots... incorrectly placed road signs, an errant
bollard or two, a poorly located traffic light, ill
planned street lighting, an ill-lit cement planter.
Crossing guards, traffic wardens, all manner of state
employed dolts negligent in their duties before we
steam along to other pedestrians or indeed garbage
trucks. Do you know how many witnesses your average
garbage truck collision has? There’s two defendants
hanging off the back of it for a start. You may as well
be running a red in front of a street car at rush
hour... Think trixie, think.
TRIXIE
I’m not sure i’m cut out for this.

TOM
Listen doll. There’s a great personal injury lawyer
inside you just waiting to get out. You just need to
focus - come on...

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.

TRIXIE
Okay.
TOM
Right let’s stick with what you find comfortable...
fender bender scenario.

TOM COUNTS THE FOLOWING ON HIS FINGERS.

TOM
Tail-gating.

TRIXIE
Ensure to brake repeatedly and without warning when
approcaching traffic lights and/or cross roads for rear
enders. Frequent only worn roads and/or roads with
construction when attempting to hit a car from behind.

TOM
Good, all sound. You’ve got to think on your feet a
little more.
COUNTS ON ANOTHER FINGER

TOM
Now what do we need more of....
TRIXIE
Oh yes, props.

TOM
Evidence Trixie. Here look...
TOM OPENS A BRIEFCASE ON HIS LAP.

TOM
Hammer and glass shards.
TRIXIE
Windscreen?

TOM
Tail-light - we’re not at windscreen yet. Next...
TRIXIE
Erm... paint.

TOM
Yes!
TOM REMOVES WHAT LOOKS LIKE A CHILD’S PAINT
SELECTION FROM THE BRIEFCASE.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.

TOM
Highways Commission Red, Park’s and Recreation White,
Coroner brown, Beck Taxi Orange, Private Contractor
Metallic Blue, Green, and Red.

TRIXIE
And Mayoral Black!
TOM
Always trying to run before you can walk.

TRIXIE
Sorry.
TOM SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SIGHS, BUSIES HIMSELF WITH
TAKING NOTES.

TOM
Take the next left and pull into the parking lot.
TRIXIE DRIVES INTO THE PARKING LOT, THE ENGINE
IDLING. A CHILD PLAYS ON A MOTORISED HORSE, HIS
FACE BURIED IN A BAG OF CANDIES.

TOM
Let’s try some roleplay. Every Supermarket’s worst
nightmare. When i tap the dashboard there’s a rogue
trolley jockey swerving left and right without a care
in the world - he’s got no education, he’s got a roll
up on the go. He thinks this car park is his kingdom.
TRIXIE
Right, right.. got you. When you hit the dash?
TOM
Yup.
TRIXIE
Ready.

TOM TAPS THE DASHBOARD. TRIXIE SPRINGS INTO LIFE

ADJUSTS THE MIRRORS. REVERSES AT SPEED. HOPS OUT
THE CAR GRABS A SHOPPING TROLLEY AND TAKES A RUN
AT THE BACK OF THE CAR. THE TROLLEY SPRINGS OFF
THE BACK AND TOPPLES. BACK IN THE CAR NOW TRIXIE
PUTS THE CAR IN DRIVE, CORNERS ON A DIME AND
NUDGES INTO THE DOWNED TROLLEY WITH A SCREECH.
TOM
Great treadmarks.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.

TRIXIE
Thanks.
WOOP WOOP! THE FAMILIAR SOUND OF A POLICE CAR
SIREN. TRIXIE IS BESIDE HERSELF.

TOM
Remember your training and you will make it through.
This is where it counts Trixie - pull yourself together
and go for it.

TRIXIE TAKES A DEEP BREATH UNCLIPS HER HAIR,

REMOVES HER GLASSES AND PLACES EYEDROPS IN HER
EYES. AFTER PINCHING HER CHEEKS SHE FLINGS HERSELF
FORWARD JAZZ HANDS STYLE AND SLOWLY SITS UP -
LOOKING EVERY BIT LIKE A SHOCKED WOMAN WHO HAS
JUST BEEN INVOLVED IN A VEHICULAR COLLISION.

COP
Excuse me mam, can I be of assistance.
TRIXIE
He ran away, he ran away...

COP
Has there been an accident Miss?
TRIXIE
I was just parking my car and the super market
attendant ran a trolley into me. And he ran away...
COP
(INTO HIS RADIO)
Dispatch I have a possible 11-81. Can i get a 10-78 and
A I D on scene. Mam can you give me a description of
the perpetrator.
TRIXIE
It happened so fast I...

THE COP IS CIRCLING THE REAR OF THE CAR

SUSPICIOUSLY
TRIXIE
I think he may have been an old man and maybe...
retarded?

COP
Your assailant was Mentally disabled mam?
TOM
I think he’s on to you... did you really want to make
it your word against a member of staff on day release?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.

TRIXIE PANICS.
TOM BREAKS A SMILE AND POINTS AT THE COP.
TOM
Aaaaaaaah (AMUSED)
(IN RECOGNITION OF THE COP - HE RAISES A FINGER AND
POINTS)
Thanks Bob!
COP
No problem Tom, this one’s turning out peachy eh?
B/O