ALSO

BY

D I A N E

ACKERMAN

I Praise My Destroyer
A Slender Thread
The Rarest ofthe Rare
A Natural History of Love
A Natural History ofthe Senses
The Moon by Whale Light
Jaguar of Sweet Laughter
Reverse Thunder
On Extended Wings
Lady Faustus
Twilight ofthe Tenderfoot
Wife of Light
The Planets: A Cosmic Pastoral
FOR CHILDREN
Monk Seal Hideaway
Bats: Shadows in the Night

ANTHOLOGY
The Book of Love
(with Jeanne Mackin)

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Copyright 1999 by Diane Ackerman

Illustrations copyright 1999 by Peter Sis
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published
in the United States by Random House, Inc., New York, and simultaneously in Canada by
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published material:
farrar, Straus & Giroux, Inc.: Brief excerpts from "A Native Hill" and "The Body and the Earth"
from Recollected Essays 1965-1980by Wendell Berry. Copyright 1981 by Wendell Berry. Reprinted
by permission of North Point Press, a division of Farrar, Straux & Grioux, Inc.
Henry Holt and Company, Inc. and Random House UK: Eight lines from "Two Tramps in Mud Time"
from The Poetry of Robert Frost edited by Edward Connery Lathem. Copyright 1936 by Robert
Frost. Copyright 1964 by Lesley Frost Ballantine. Copyright 1969 by Henry Holt & Company.
Rights throughout the British Commonwealth are controlled by Random House UK. Reprinted
by permission of Henry Holt and Company, Inc., and Random House UK.
International Work Group for Indigenous Affairs: Excerpt from Document 54, "Land Rights Now" by
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Group for Indigenous Affairs, Copenhagen, Denmark.
Brother Joseph Keenan: Excerpt from "The Art of Taking Tea" by Brother Joseph Keenan. Reprinted
by permission.
Alfred A. Knopf, Inc.: Excerpt from pg. 109 of Lyrical and Critical Essays by Albert Camus, translated
by Ellen Conroy Kennedy. Copyright 1968 by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc. Reprinted by permission
ofthe publisher.
New Directions Publishing Corporation and David Higham Associated Limited: Three lines from "Fern Hill"
from The Poems of Dylan Thomas. Copyright 1945 by The Trustees for the copyrights of Dylan
Thomas. Rights throughout the world, excluding the United States, are controlled by David
Higham Associates Limited. Reprinted by permission of New Directions Publishing Corporation
and David Higham Associates Limited.
Random House, Inc.: "School Prayer" from I Praise My Destroyer by Diane Ackerman. Copyright
1998 by Diane Ackerman. Reprinted by permission of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

if

Ackerman, Diane.
Deep play / Diane Ackerman. 1st ed.
p.
cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-679-44879-9 (hardcover : alk. paper)
1. PlayPsychological aspects. I. Title.
BF717.A23
1999
128 dc21
98-35067
Random House website address: www.atrandom.com
Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper.
24689753

. . . man is made God's plaything, and that is the best part of

him. Therefore every man and woman should live life accordingly, and play the noblest g a m e s . . . . What, then, is the right
way of living? Life must be lived as p l a y . . .
Plato, Laws

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11 alone at t h e r i m of t h e k n o w n world, t h e y stood like

brightly u n i f o r m e d sentinels and stared o u t t o sea. W h a t did they

w a t c h for across t h e w i n d s w e p t w h i t e deserts and galloping tarblue waves? W h a t signposts did t h e y r e m e m b e r t h a t w o u l d guide

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PREFACE

PREFACE

t h e m h o m e after a long oceanic wandering? A certain shade of

nectedness to t h e k n o w n world, a symbolic trail to m y past. As

bay water, a dialect of c u r r e n t , a familiar arpeggio of ice-glazed

m y sense of identity began to seep o u t of m e and extend itself to

rock? R e t u r n i n g to a thousandfold t e e m i n g mass of p e n g u i n s , did

t h e p e n g u i n s , I realized t h a t t h e y w e r e t h e u l t i m a t e ascetics, crea-

t h e y recognize t h e relief m a p of a spouse's face? Did t h e y dream?

t u r e s t h a t possessed n o t h i n g , nested w i t h n o t h i n g , traded n o t h -

W h a t are p e n g u i n dreams? Food a n d famine, ice floes, l u n g i n g

ing, carried n o t h i n g b u t their y o u n g .

leopard seals?

Far from h o m e , extravagantly u n e n c u m b e r e d , they r e m i n d e d

Standing in t h e blustery Antarctic wind, while a vast city-

m e of t h e colorful t h r a l l I'd left b e h i n d c i t i e s and temptations,

state of p e n g u i n s milled noisily a r o u n d m e , I was surprised by

a carnival of possessions, b l o o m i n g landscapes, family cares and

e v e r y t h i n g t h e n u m b e r of penguins, whose raucous calls blurred

errands, t h e elaborate rules of social dressage. Perhaps that's w h y

into a s y m p h o n i c screech; t h e brutality o f t h e cold biting t h r o u g h

I found myself free-associating in h o m e l y c o m p a r i s o n s . T h e y

m y jacket; t h e way m y m i n d obsessed a b o u t h o w p e n g u i n s view

l o o k e d f o r m a l as waiters, o r c e r e m o n i a l as a village of t o t e m

life; t h e u n e x p e c t e d v o l u p t u o u s n e s s of t h e vista. I h a d always

poles, or t h e y did a C h a p l i n e s q u e walk, o r glowed like Hopi

imagined t h e m living a m o n g ice palaces i n w i n d s w e p t rookeries

kachinas carved t o symbolize t h e soul o f t h e wilderness. I did n o t

of m o n o t o n e white, b u t I discovered t h a t their w o r l d danced w i t h

find t h e m h u m a n , I k n e w t h e y did n o t choose to be stately, delib-

m i n u t e prisms. M o r e colorful t h a n a rain forest, snow's never-

erate, and imposing. T h e y stood doll-like, their legs set close to

e n d i n g w h i t e contains all colors, could w e b u t see t h e m . A n d in

their tails; t h e y w e r e u p r i g h t by design, g r o w i n g large and burly

s u c h e x t r e m e cold o n e can, w h i c h I learned w i t h t h e force of a

e n o u g h to dive deep t h r o u g h frigid waters to feast o n squid. Let-

revelation. Because t h e surgical winds w e r e blowing s h a r p as a

ting m y m i n d spin o n i n t o caricature, I fancied t h e m m o n a r c h s of

scalpel, clouds c o u l d n ' t form in t h e frigid air. B u t suddenly, o u t

all t h e y surveyed, riding ice-floe coaches, and wearing a royal

of t h e brilliant blue emptiness, s n o w began falling in a confetti-

p u r p l e t h a t came, n o t from sea snails, b u t from t h e a t m o s p h e r e

sparkle of d i a m o n d dust. I was standing inside a kaleidoscope.

itself, w h e n t h e cloak of n i g h t descended over t h e m .

W h a t did those e m p e r o r p e n g u i n s m a k e of it? I w o n d e r e d . O r

U n t e t h e r e d , m y m i n d r o a m e d t h e ice floes for hours, de-

of m e , for t h a t m a t t e r . After all, their w o r l d was half t h e m a n -

v o u r i n g each m o m e n t , far from any trace of past or future, u n a c -

devils' and half their o w n . Clothed in brilliant red parkas, spawned

quainted w i t h m y body, light as d i a m o n d dust. My gaze slid easily

from t h e sides of a colossal m e t a l fish t h a t floated u p o n t h e water,

from t h e ice b e n e a t h t h e p e n g u i n s ' feet u p their torpedo-shaped

m y shipmates and I h a d arrived t o stalk w i t h o u t killing, while

bodies, w h e r e pale l e m o n shirtfronts grade to sunrise gold at t h e

gabbling a m o n g ourselves, s o m e t i m e s clicking a n d c l a c k i n g

neck, a r o u n d their orange-gold c r o w n s a n d lilac bills, t h e n at last

tall gangly creatures w h o s t o m p e d slowly t h r o u g h s n o w and

u p t o t h e star-encrusted heavens. Their ways m a y be m u c k y and

never slid d o w n h i l l o n o u r bellies, o r used beaks as ice picks w h e n

bird-physical, b u t a saintly a u r a c l u n g to t h e m . Perhaps it was

climbing a steep slope, or s w a m fast after c a t a p u l t i n g into t h e sea.

their vigil in t h a t harsh desert. Living beacons, t h e y b r o u g h t life

We w e r e baritone beings w h o dragged, drove, wore, and carried

t o a desolate p a r t of t h e planet, and r e m i n d e d m e h o w rugged,

an endless array of things. I felt a s h a m e d of m y b e l o n g i n g s

h o w durable life is. Life t h a t can evolve a r o u n d volcanic lips in t h e

s o m e objects for survival, b u t o t h e r s m e r e l y for a sense of c o n -

deepest sea trenches. Life t h a t can thrive o n m o u n t a i n t o p s high

PREFACE

PREFACE

as t h e jet stream. Life t h a t e n d u r e s w i t h grace even at t h e ends of

tree canopy, destined to be studied o n e glimpse at a time. I was

t h e earth. For e m p e r o r s never t o u c h land. T h e y live o u t their

d u m b f o u n d e d by h o w beautifully t h e e m p e r o r s flew in w a t e r

lives standing sentry o n shelf ice. For h o u r s I stood w a t c h i n g

fluent,

t h e m as hypnotically as they w a t c h e d t h e sea, w h o l l y absorbed

realms I could o n l y guess at. Above all, t h e y e n c h a n t e d m e be-

by their starch a n d vitality. Haloed in blue, t h e y carried t h e sky

cause t h e y w e r e still feathered mysteries.

on their shoulders. T h e y alone seemed t o c o n n e c t t h e e a r t h and

night.

streamlined, magnificently

aquaticgliding

through

If s o m e o n e had b r o k e n t h e spell of t h a t magical day, I could

easily have given m y n a m e and o t h e r particulars, b u t I w o u l d only

For t h e m o s t part, t h e details of t h a t n e w world recorded

gradually have emerged i n t o m y familiar world. It w o u l d have felt

themselves o n m y senses. W h e n t h o u g h t h a p p e n e d , it bedeviled

like surfacing from a deep-sea dive, or landing o n e a r t h after a

m e . Why did p e n g u i n s so fascinate m e t h a t I h a d studied t h e m

week in orbit. I could have m o v e d quickly and decisively if I

exhaustively in books, raised baby p e n g u i n s in a seaquarium,

n e e d e d t o i f anything, I felt stronger t h a n usual, m o r e adroit,

traveled t h e l e n g t h of a continent, survived physical hardships,

better informed. I k n e w and abided by t h e rules o f t h e g a m e I was

and sailed over staggering oceans just t o witness t h e m and their

p l a y i n g t h e w e a t h e r and a n i m a l rules, t h e t i m e rules, t h e d a n -

dazzlingly r e m o t e landscape? I was intrigued by their protective

ger rules, t h e social rules w i t h m y shipmates. I was alert b u t also

zeal. T h e y are s u c h devoted parents t h a t t h e y will even pick u p

ecstatic. M y m o o d was a c o m b i n a t i o n of clarity, wild enthusiasm,

frozen or r u i n e d eggs and try t o incubate t h e m o r try t o incu-

saturation in t h e m o m e n t , and w o n d e r . In t h a t waking trance, I

bate stones, or an old dead chick. C o m m i t t e d , self-sacrificing, they

was enjoying a thrilling form of play, o n e I've c o m e to relish

brave raging blizzards and ocean hazards in stultifying cold t o

t h r o u g h o u t m y life, and have often chronicled in m y books. Over

fledge o n e fluffy, owl-faced chick. I was beguiled by t h e t h o u g h t

t h e years, I've b e c o m e increasingly aware of w h a t play, and espe-

of h o t - b l o o d e d beings r u l i n g a world of ice, w h i c h t h e y h a d

cially deep play, has m e a n t to m e , t o all of us. We long for its

adapted t o in ingenious ways. W i t h o u t their i n n e r campfires, e m -

heights, w h i c h s o m e people often visit and o t h e r s m u s t learn to

perors w o u l d freeze to rubble. Yet cold didn't seem t o b o t h e r

find, b u t everyone experiences as replenishing. O p p o r t u n i t i e s for

t h e m as m u c h as heat. Toasty u n d e r n e a t h thick layers of blubber,

deep play a b o u n d . In its thrall w e b e c o m e ideal versions of o u r -

w a t e r t i g h t a n d airtight, t h e y lived inside feather comforters t h e y

selves. Deep play has been s u c h a n i m p o r t a n t p a r t of m y life t h a t

could never toss aside. At t h e coldest spot o n e a r t h , scoured by

I've decided to explore s o m e of its lessons and mysteries. I begin

200 m p h winds and t e m p e r a t u r e s falling t o w a r d 100F, h o w

by looking first at play in general and h o w it has shaped us as

o d d t o see p e n g u i n s b a t t l e h e a t s t r o k e by b l u s h i n g , p a n t i n g ,

h u m a n beings, and t h e n at deep play, w h o s e m a n y m o o d s and

ruffling t h e i r feathers, lying o n t h e i r bellies, e x p o s i n g t h e i r

varieties help to define w h o we are a n d all w e wish to be.

u n d e r a r m s . I was captivated by t h e rare, a l t o g e t h e r - i n - t h e raw, availability of e m p e r o r s . N o a n i m a l is m o r e vulnerable,

m o r e o p e n to life's vicissitudes and t h e roughest weathers. Wholly
visible o n t h e shelf ice, t h e y did n o t fly away like t h e forest or j u n gle birds I h a d k n o w n , w h i c h quickly b e c a m e silhouettes in t h e

Chapter One

D e e p Play

C h a p t e r Two

At-One-Ment

Chapter Three

Sacred Places

Chapter Four

Into the Death Zone

C h a p t e r Five

The Gospel According

to This M o m e n t

C h a p t e r Six
C h a p t e r Seven
Chapter Eight

Creating Minds
C e r e m o n i e s of I n n o c e n c e

C h a p t e r Ten

27
49
81

103
121
143

The Healing Power

of N a t u r e

Chapter Nine

155

D e e p Space, in C o l o r

173

T h e N i g h t of t h e C o m e t

189

Selected Bibliography and Notes

215

Ind ex

225

T ^ C & J )

CHAPTER

ONE

Deep. adj. 1. The most intense or extreme part.

2. Profoundly absorbed or immersed. 3. A distance
estimated in fathoms.
The American Heritage Dictionary ofthe
English Language, 3rd edition
PLAY. It is an activity which proceeds within certain
limits of time and space, in a visible order, according
to rules freely accepted, and outside the sphere of
necessity or material'utility. The play-mood is one of
rapture and enthusiasm, and is sacred or festive in
accordance with the occasion. A feeling of exaltation
and tension accompanies the action.
Johan Huizinga, Homo Ludens

!f M

X Z ' v e r y o n e u n d e r s t a n d s play. If I were in t h e park, and

VA)

Wu

a girl invited m e to play beanbag toss, she m i g h t well get

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bored if I seemed clumsy and s l o w j u s t as a dog playing

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fetch m i g h t get bored and go looking for better c o m -

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pany. B u t w h y play at all? Every e l e m e n t o f t h e h u m a n

^ ^

D I A N E

ACKERMAN

saga requires play. We evolved t h r o u g h play. O u r c u l t u r e thrives

DEEP

PLAY

in shape for flight. Social play establishes rank, mate-finding, and

o n play. C o u r t s h i p includes h i g h theater, rituals, a n d ceremonies

c o o p e r a t i o n w h e n n e e d e d . Play probably helps t o keep an ani-

of play. Ideas are playful reverberations o f t h e m i n d . Language is a

mal's senses well i n f o r m e d and alert. T h e central n e r v o u s system

playing w i t h w o r d s u n t i l t h e y can i m p e r s o n a t e physical objects

needs a certain a m o u n t of stimulation. To a d y n a m i c organism,

and abstract ideas.

m o n o t o n y is unbearable. Young animals d o n ' t k n o w w h a t is i m -

A n i m a l play serves m a n y purposes. It can be a dress rehearsal

p o r t a n t , w h a t can be safely ignored; t h e y have had fewer novel

for a d u l t life, as w h e n y o u n g m a m m a l s play c o u r t s h i p games,

experiences, and their senses are fresh and highly sensitive. Every-

war games, socializing games, motor-skills games. Monk-seal

thing matters.

p u p s playing r o u g h - a n d - t u m b l e in t h e surf and tiger cubs p o u n c -

Even crows play. W h e n I ' m o u t biking, I often see crows

ing o n one a n o t h e r in m o c k battle are perfecting techniques t h a t

wearing plastic w i n g tags installed by researchers at t h e nearby

will save their lives. Play is far older t h a n h u m a n s . It's so familiar

o r n i t h o l o g y lab. D o t h o s e colorful epaulets confer special status

to us, so deeply ingrained in t h e m a t r i x of o u r childhood, t h a t w e

in t h e c r o w c o m m u n i t y , I wonder? B u t it does m a k e t h e m easier

take it for granted. B u t consider this: ants d o n ' t play. T h e y d o n ' t

t o study, and researchers have learned t h a t crows are extraordi-

need to. P r o g r a m m e d for certain behaviors, t h e y automatically

narily sociable and devoted to family. Five years' w o r t h of off-

perform t h e m from birth. Learning t h r o u g h repetition, h o n e d

spring m a y help o u t a r o u n d their parents' h o m e nest d u r i n g

skills, and ingenuity isn't required in their heritage. T h e m o r e an

breeding season. W h e n t h e y m a t e , t h e y nest close t o h o m e and

animal needs to learn in order to survive, t h e m o r e it needs to

are lifelong spouses. T h e y h e l p raise nieces and nephews, they

play. T h e m o r e leisure t i m e it has, t h e m o r e it can play. D o s o m e

often h u n t w i t h others, a n d t h e y play all sorts of games. Two

higher animals-dolphins, c h i m p a n z e e s p l a y w i t h us because

y o u n g crows will play tug-of-war w i t h twigs, or crows will gang

they're intelligent beings blessed w i t h leisure time, or because

u p to haze a greatly o u t n u m b e r e d cat. A c r o w m a y swing upside

they're playful in t h e same way tiger cubs are? For all we know,

d o w n o n a branch, m o n k e y style; or play drop-the-stickflying

w h a t w e call intelligence m a y be a characteristic exclusively of pri-

d o w n fast t o catch it. O n e researcher saw a c r o w invent a log-

mates. It m a y n o t be life's pinnacle at all, b u t simply o n e m o d e of

rolling g a m e in which it balanced o n a plastic c u p and rolled it

knowing, o n e w e h a p p e n to m a s t e r and cherish. Play is widespread

d o w n a hill. T h e n a sibling w a t c h i n g these antics followed suit. A

a m o n g animals because it invites problem-solving, allowing a

n e i g h b o r of m i n e was surprised o n e afternoon t o find crows,

creature to test its limits and develop strategies. In a d a n g e r o u s

p e r c h e d o n t h e frame of her skylight, dropping pebbles o n t o t h e

world, w h e r e d r a m a s c h a n g e daily, survival belongs t o t h e agile

glass and w a t c h i n g t h e m skitter.

n o t t h e idle. We m a y t h i n k of play as optional, a casual activity.

B u t play is f u n d a m e n t a l to evolution. W i t h o u t play, h u m a n s and

O t h e r animals are equally playful. Here is Wendell Berry describing a bird at play:

m a n y o t h e r animals w o u l d perish.
Animals play, in part, to stay active and fit. T h e exploring

I sat one summer evening and watched a great blue heron

play of p r i m a t e s helps t h e m g a t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t their envi-

make his descent from the top of the hill into the valley. He

r o n m e n t and food sources. T h e escape play of horses keeps t h e m

came down at a measured deliberate pace, stately as always,

r
6

D I A N E

ACKERMAN

D E E P P L A Y

like a dignitary going down a stair. And then, at a point I

basic rules of all forms of play. B u t play also has its o w n distinctive

judged to be midway over the river, without at all varying his

psychology.

wingbeat he did a backward turn in the air, a loop-the-loop.

Above all, play requires freedom. O n e chooses to play. Play's

It could only have been a gesture of pure exuberance, of

rules m a y be enforced, b u t play is n o t like life's o t h e r dramas. It

joya speaking of his sense of the evening, the day's fulfill-

h a p p e n s outside o r d i n a r y life, a n d it requires freedom. Even ani-

ment, his descent homeward. He made just that one slow

mals t h a t play instinctively d o so because they enjoy play, choose

turn, and then flew on out of sight in the direction ofthe slew

t o play w h e n t h e m o o d strikes t h e m , or t h e y are invited to by

farther down in the bottom. The movement was incredibly

o t h e r animals. B u t freedom alone d o e s n ' t e n s u r e a playful result;

beautiful, at once exultant and stately, a benediction on the

p e o p l e often choose t h e w o r k t h e y do, and n o t everyone is lucky

evening and on the river and on me. It seemed so perfectly to

e n o u g h t o regard their w o r k as play. Players like to invent substi-

confirm the presence of a free n o n h u m a n joy in the world.

t u t e worlds, m o r e advantageous o u t c o m e s of events, s u p p l e m e n tal versions of reality, o t h e r selves. Make-believe is at t h e h e a r t of

For h u m a n s , play is a refuge from o r d i n a r y life, a s a n c t u a r y

o f t h e m i n d , w h e r e o n e is e x e m p t from life's c u s t o m s , m e t h o d s ,

play, and also at t h e h e a r t of m u c h of w h a t passes for work. Let's

make-believe w e can s h o o t a rocket t o t h e m o o n .

a n d decrees. Play always has a sacred p l a c e s o m e version of a

M o s t forms of play involve c o m p e t i t i o n , against oneself or

p l a y g r o u n d i n which it happens. T h e hallowed g r o u n d is u s u -

others, and test one's skills, c u n n i n g , o r courage. O n e m i g h t even

ally outlined, so t h a t it's clearly set off from t h e rest of reality.

argue t h a t all play is a contest of o n e sort or a n o t h e r . T h e adver-

This place m a y be a classroom, a sports s t a d i u m , a stage, a c o u r t -

sary m a y be a m o u n t a i n , a chess-playing c o m p u t e r , or an incar-

r o o m , a coral reef, a w o r k b e n c h in a garage, a c h u r c h or temple, a

n a t i o n of evil. To play is t o risk: t o risk is to play. T h e w o r d fight

field w h e r e people clasp h a n d s in a circle u n d e r t h e n e w m o o n .

derives from t h e wordplay. Medieval t o u r n a m e n t s w e r e ritualized

Play has a t i m e limit, w h i c h m a y be an intense b u t fleeting m o -

battles t h a t followed strict rules. So are wrestling, boxing, and

m e n t , t h e flexible i n n i n g s of a baseball g a m e , or t h e exact span

fencing matches. Ceremonial violenceat a sacred place, in which

of a p s y c h o t h e r a p y session. S o m e t i m e s t h e t i m e limit is p r e -

special clothes are w o r n , t i m e limits m u s t be obeyed, rules are

arranged; at o t h e r times it's only recognizable in retrospect. T h e

followed, rituals are p e r f o r m e d , t h e action is alarmingly tense,

world of play favors exuberance, license, a b a n d o n . S h e n a n i g a n s

a n d t h e o u t c o m e is u n k n o w n i s e l e m e n t a l t o play. Festive

are allowed, strategies can be tried, selves can be revised. In t h e

dancing m a y seem peaceful by comparison, and indeed in A n g l o -

self-enclosed world of play, t h e r e is n o h u n g e r . It is its o w n goal,

Saxon, play was plega, w h i c h m e a n t singing or dancing gestures,

w h i c h it reaches in a richly satisfying way. Play has its o w n eti-

clapping, quick m o v e m e n t s .

quette, rituals and ceremonies, its o w n absolute rules. As Johan

B u t w h e n we peer even farther back into its origins, we dis-

Huizinga notes in Homo Ludens, a classic study of play and cul-

cover t h a t play's original m e a n i n g was quite different, s o m e t h i n g

t u r e , play "creates order, is order. I n t o an imperfect world and

a l t o g e t h e r m o r e u r g e n t and abstract. In Indo-European, plegan

i n t o t h e confusion of life it brings a t e m p o r a r y , limited perfec-

m e a n t t o risk, chance, expose oneself t o hazard. A pledge was inte-

tion. T h e least deviation from it spoils t h e game." These are t h e

gral to t h e act of play, as was danger (cognate words are peril and

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plight). Play's original p u r p o s e was t o m a k e a pledge to s o m e o n e or

gave rise t o words used in love play, battle, or religious rites (feast

s o m e t h i n g by risking one's life. W h o or w h a t m i g h t t h a t s o m e o n e

and festival also trace their e t y m o l o g y to play). W h a t do these ac-

or s o m e t h i n g be? Possibilities a b o u n d , including a relative, a tribal

tivities have in c o m m o n ? T h e y all require daring, risk, concentra-

leader, a god, or a m o r a l trait s u c h as h o n o r or courage. At its

tion, t h e ability t o live w i t h uncertainty, a willingness to follow

heart, plegan reverberated w i t h ethical or religious values. It also

t h e rules o f t h e game, and a desire for transcendence. They share

contained t h e idea of being tightly fastened or engaged. Soon ple-

t h e spirit of sacred play, w h e r e t h e child and t h e p o e t are at h o m e

gan b e c a m e associated w i t h p e r f o r m i n g a sacred act o r adminis-

w i t h t h e savage.

tering justice, and it often appeared in ceremonies. In a later

chapter, I'll talk a b o u t t h e i m p o r t a n c e of those ceremonies.

T h e savage is w h a t we s o m e t i m e s long to beliving by c u n n i n g and raw e m o t i o n , a t t u n e d to n a t u r e , senses alert, eluding

H o w e v e r , n o t all ethical play r e q u i r e s risk a n d h a z a r d . For

danger, thrilled by challenge. "One t h i n k s of Tolstoy a m o n g t h e

e x a m p l e , an e l e m e n t a r y s c h o o l t e a c h e r I k n o w t e a c h e s ethics

Cossacks," Peter M a r i n writes in Coevolution Quarterly, "learning

t h r o u g h c o m m u n i t y service, inspiring children to have fun while

from t h e raw p o w e r of a life stripped clean of possessions and ex-

doing good works. O n e overcast day in late October, she b r o u g h t

posed to t h e r o c k - h a r d facts o f t h e world. T h e r e was an austerity

a h u n d r e d children and their parents to p l a n t bulbs at t h e local

t o their existence so p u r e t h a t it became for h i m a kind of sensual-

hospice. T h e y h a d learned earlier a b o u t w h a t a hospice is, and dis-

ity, and n o d o u b t later in his life, w h e n h e w a n t e d to strip himself

cussed h o w m u c h t h e flowers w o u l d m e a n to its residents. These

m o r a l l y to t h e bone, t h e r e was a similar e l e m e n t involved. T h e r e

w o u l d probably be t h e last flowers t h e y saw. So t h e children

is a c o n n e c t i o n between m o r a l p o w e r and t h e sense of exposure

u n d e r s t o o d t h e value of w h a t t h e y were doing, as t h e y playfully

t o t h e m o r t a l elements."

ripped o u t h u n d r e d s of frost-killed cosmos and o t h e r annuals,

Facing trials and w i n n i n g is essential, especially if o n e is pit-

d u g 2,000 holes, raked dirt, planted glossy bulbs, chased t h e occa-

ting t h e forces of good against t h e forces of evil. A t s u c h h i g h -

sional shrew. C h i l d r e n and dirt, w h a t could be better? In t h a t

stakes gambling, luck is an i m p o r t a n t ingredient, of course; in

bulb-planting project, teacher and s t u d e n t s c a p t u r e d t h e gentler

m a n y m y t h s , gods wager w i t h h u m a n life. In t h e Sanskrit Maha-

side of plegan. Organizations like Habitat for H u m a n i t y , w h e r e

bharata, for example, w e find m e n , w h o represent t h e seasons,

bighearted p e o p l e v o l u n t e e r t o build h o m e s for o t h e r s w h i l e

deciding t h e world's w e a t h e r a n d crop yield by rolling gold a n d

enjoying t h e o u t d o o r s , hard work, and socializingdo t h e same.

silver dice. But, aside from luck or t h e favor of t h e gods, t h e

By far t h e m o s t c o m m o n use of play words, in m a n y lan-

player succeeds by his or her o w n talents. It's astonishing really,

guages, is t h e erotic. T h e Sanskrit w o r d for c o p u l a t i o n is kri-

t h e e x t r e m e s people have g o n e to in search of praisefor reas-

daratnam, which translates as " t h e jewel of games." In G e r m a n , a

s u r a n c e t h a t they're accomplished, excellent beings w h o are val-

Spielkind (literally a "play child") is a baby b o r n o u t of wedlock. In

ued. A Freudian has rich g r o u n d here, as does an evolutionary

English, we m a k e a play for, play u p to, indulge in love play. O u r

psychologist. W h a t fuels a n e e d to be publicly celebrated and

w o r d lechery evolved from leik, a r o o t w o r d for play. A m o n g native

declared good? Suppose t h e drive is ravenous, involving nations?

Americans o f t h e Blackfoot tribe, t h e w o r d koani could be applied

Because prestige is an unstable element, warriors m u s t constantly

either t o child's play or to unlawful sex. Words for play m a i n l y

p r o v e t h e i r m e r i t , in relentless deeds of valor, a n d it d o e s n ' t

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m a t t e r m u c h these days if t h e b a t t l e g r o u n d is an office or a box-

[tjhe rules of warfare, the conventions of noble living, were

ing ring. A day passing w i t h o u t glory, h o w e v e r small, is cause

built up on play-patterns. We have to conclude, therefore,

for anxiety. Ranks m a y shuffle, face m a y be lost, resources m a y

that civilization, is, in its early phases, played. It does not come

wane, potential m a t e s m a y recede. Even apparently altruistic

from play like a babe detaching itself from the womb: it arises

acts m a y in t r u t h be deeply c o n c e r n e d w i t h m e r i t and glory.

in and as play, and never leaves it. . . . Fair play is nothing less

W h e n a pilot recently flew his crippled jet i n t o a m o u n t a i n ,

than good faith expressed in play terms. Hence the cheat or

killing himself r a t h e r t h a n risking m a n y lives in a heavily p o p u -

the spoil-sport shatters civilization itself.

//

lated area w h e r e h e m i g h t have lucked o u t landing o n a h i g h way, people exclaimed " H o w selfless of him!" B u t o n e of his

I t h i n k he's right. We d o n ' t p u r s u e and p u n i s h lawbreakers just to

motives, u n d o u b t e d l y , was to act honorably; h e c o u l d n ' t live

keep t h e m from repeating their crimes. T h e y t h r e a t e n us at a

w i t h himself as a m a n w h o caused t h e deaths of m a n y civilians.

m o r e basic level.

We m a y call s o m e o n e w h o sacrifices his life for a n o t h e r a n a l t r u -

We usually t h i n k of play as self-indulgent and irresponsible.

ist, b u t his real motives m a y be less selfless t h a n w e imagine; t h e y

"Stop playing a r o u n d , be serious!" s o m e o n e m i g h t d e m a n d , as if

m a y be p r o f o u n d l y c o n c e r n e d w i t h valor and a c o h e r e n t sense

t h e t w o clashed. Yet sports are t h e height of seriousness. In an-

ofself.

cient R o m e , " t h e games" included bloodthirsty crowds and g r u e -

Physical s t r e n g t h has traditionally been o n e test of nobility.

s o m e deaths; and t h e y could be whimsical: let's see what happens if we

Also courage or great wealth. In t w e l f t h - c e n t u r y Florence, t h e

pit a man against a bear or a crocodile. C h i l d r e n can be extremely serious

elite c o m p e t e d by c o n s t r u c t i n g a forest of towers, each m o r e

a b o u t play. Their games, t h o u g h "fun," aren't always silly or filled

spectacular t h a n t h e next. Ostensibly created for defense, these

with laughter.

artful s t r u c t u r e s became k n o w n as "swagger towers." B u t in t h e

Play is an activity enjoyed for its o w n sake. It is o u r brain's fa-

past, and in m a n y cultures, contests usually included tests of

vorite way of learning and m a n e u v e r i n g . Because we t h i n k of

k n o w l e d g e and wit. Ancient heroes were given sacred riddles to

play as t h e opposite of seriousness, w e d o n ' t notice t h a t it governs

solve, and a w r o n g answer m e a n t d e a t h . Warriors battled o n e a n -

m o s t of societypolitical games, in-law games, m o n e y games,

o t h e r w i t h insults and boasts, as A m e r i c a n street kids d o today.

love games, advertising games, to list only a few spheres w h e r e

C h i n a even held a "courtesy m a t c h , " in w h i c h rivals f o u g h t by

g a m e s m a n s h i p is r a m p a n t . Play m a y have different strengths, n o t

zealously o u t - p o l i t i n g each o t h e r . He w h o s e m a n n e r s w e r e t h e

all of t h e m mystical and soul-stealing. But even in its least intoxi-

m o s t o v e r w h e l m i n g l y polite w o n . In c o u r t r o o m s , armies also

cating forms, play feels satisfying, absorbing, and has rules and a

battle w i t h words. As became clear t o m u l t i t u d e s of television

life of its o w n , while offering rare challenges. It gives us t h e op-

viewers d u r i n g t h e O. J. Simpson m u r d e r trial, w i n n i n g a c o u r t

p o r t u n i t y to perfect ourselves. It's organic t o w h o and w h a t w e

case has little to do w i t h right and w r o n g , b u t w i t h h o w well

are, a process as instinctive as breathing. M u c h of h u m a n life u n -

one's lawyers control t h e game. All s u c h rivalries involve t h e idea

folds as play.

of trial, of publicly testing one's skill, nerve, or gifts. All this h a p p e n s o n t h e field of play. Huizinga argues t h a t

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This book explores an e l e m e n t of t h e h u m a n saga t h a t has

Deep play always involves t h e sacred and holy, s o m e t i m e s

thrilled and fascinated m e t h r o u g h o u t m y life: t r a n s c e n d e n t play.

h i d d e n in t h e m o s t unlikely or h u m b l e p l a c e s a m i d towering

N o t just h o w children playrejoicing in t h e delights of silliness,

shelves of rock in Nepal; c r o u c h e d over p r i n t in a dimly lit r o o m ;

perfecting their coordination, or rehearsing t h e rules of c o u r t -

slipping o n AstroTurf; wearing a coconut-shell mask. We spend

ship and s o c i e t y b u t a special d i m e n s i o n of a d u l t play. S o m e -

o u r lives in p u r s u i t of m o m e n t s t h a t will allow these altered

t h i n g exquisitely h u m a n . Of course, adults often play in t h e s a m e

states to h a p p e n . T h e Australian Aborigines search for it o n

way and for t h e same reasons t h a t children do; t h e y act silly be-

wilderness treks called walkabouts, d u r i n g w h i c h y o u n g m e n of

cause it's fun; t h e y play t o socialize, and t h a t can include besting a

t h e tribe go alone into t h e d a n g e r o u s outback to gain s t r e n g t h

rival or developing a friendship. B u t t h e r e is a deeper form of

and w i s d o m . Buddhist lamas and H i n d u sadhus travel, nearly

play, akin to r a p t u r e and ecstasy, t h a t h u m a n s relish, even re-

naked, to pray atop glacial m o u n t a i n s in Tibet. People from m a n y

quire to feel whole.

c u l t u r e s have g o n e o n soul j o u r n e y s into t h e wilderness, w h e r e

A funny n o t i o n , feeling whole. If t h e r e is o n e t h i n g a person

risk, h u n g e r , pain, exhaustion, and s o m e t i m e s self-torture m i g h t

k n o w s for a fact, it is t h a t h e is trapped inside a suit of skin, t h a t

inspire visions. Young Masai m e n set off o n a pilgrimage to M o u n t

(unless he is a Siamese twin) h e is n o t several, t h a t if t h e a r m o r of

Kilimanjaro, t h e sacred center of their world, as p a r t o f t h e initia-

his body is pierced, he can bleed his i n n a r d s away. He is a single

tion rite k n o w n as M o r a n i s m . Native Americans have often used

self-contained entity. H o w peculiar n o t to feel whole. Plato's ex-

ritualized r u n n i n g t o scale m e n t a l heights. T h e Hopis stage m a n y

planation is t h a t each of us is, by design, only half a h u m a n , and

s u c h races every year, featuring paint, costumes, fasts, and prayer.

therefore m u s t search for a beloved to blend w i t h to b e c o m e

T h e C r o w Indians r u n t o exhaustion t o persuade t h e gods t h a t

whole. Feeling i n c o m p l e t e is an ancient delusion. Equally ancient

t h e y deserve good luck. T h e Z u n i r u n t w e n t y t o forty miles while

is t h e a t t e m p t to feel w h o l e by using drink, drugs, sex, prayer,

kicking a sacred stick. T h e official p u r p o s e of these ordeals m a y be

m a n t r a s , sports, danger, and a n y t h i n g else o n e can t h i n k of to

religious, b u t t h e physiological goal is to impel t h e initiate into a

t e m p o r a r i l y t u r n d o w n t h e v o l u m e o n t h e c h a t t e r in t h e brain.

h i g h e r state of consciousness t h a t kindles visions and insights, in

T h a t absence of m e n t a l noise we find liberating, soothing, and ex-

a locale w h e r e survival m a y d e p e n d o n a c o m b i n a t i o n of i n g e n u -

citing all at once.

ity and nerve.

Deep play is t h e ecstatic form of play. In its thrall, all t h e play

S h a m a n s and e x t r e m e athletes alike c o u r t deep play w i t h a

elements are visible, b u t they're taken to intense and t r a n s c e n -

s e n s u o u s rigor bordering o n m a n i a . Creativity, psychotherapy,

dent heights. Thus, deep play s h o u l d really be classified by m o o d ,

sensation-seekingall are ideal playgrounds for deep play. Of

n o t activity. It testifies to how s o m e t h i n g happens, n o t what h a p -

late, I find m a n y s u c h m o m e n t s while biking, b u t in t h e past I

pens. Games d o n ' t guarantee deep play, b u t s o m e activities are

have found t h e m riding horses, piloting light aircraft, scuba div-

p r o n e t o it: art, religion, risk-taking, and s o m e sportsespecially

ing, s t u d y i n g animals in t h e wild, and exploring unfamiliar land-

those t h a t take place in relatively r e m o t e , silent, and floaty envi-

scapes. Those m o m e n t s have p o w e r e d m y d r e a m s and yearnings,

r o n m e n t s , such as scuba diving, parachuting, h a n g gliding, m o u n -

inspired m o s t of m y writing, and formed t h e basis of m y spiritu-

tain climbing.

ality. Over t h e n e x t few pages, I'll q u o t e briefly from several of m y

D I A N E

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j o u r n a l s s p a n n i n g r o u g h l y a decade. A l t h o u g h I w a s n ' t aware of

c o m p l e t e l y there" t h a t h e used t o feel at t h e m o m e n t w h e n h e was

deep play at t h e time, I often lived it, u n k n o w i n g l y r e c o r d e d its

"going t o d r o p a b o m b . In b o t h instances, I was dealing w i t h

features, a n d chronicled m a n y of its m o o d s . This c o m e s in

s o m e t h i n g of a n explosive n a t u r e . In t h e r a p y t h e aim is to defuse

h a n d y now, as I explore t h e m e n t a l habitat of deep play, w h i c h

t h e b o m b r a t h e r t h a n try to escape from it or be b l o w n up. It's

has e n r i c h e d m y life for so l o n g a n d p o w e r e d t h e lives of so

very risky a n d exciting." I d o u b t t h a t s u c h high-wire interisity

many others.

o c c u r s in every session w i t h every patient, b u t a m o n g t h e m a n y

For a b o u t five years I traveled little a n d seemed to have few

obvious m o m e n t s of deep play. However, I was also in psycho-

rewards of his profession, t h e r a p y offers S k y n n e r an o p p o r t u n i t y

fof deep play.

t h e r a p y at t h e t i m e and, in retrospect, t h a t experience satisfied

T h e ancients w r o t e a b o u t and celebrated key elements of

s o m e of m y needs. H o w can p s y c h o t h e r a p y be experienced as

deep play, coining n a m e s for s o m e of its m o o d s . Because of t h e m ,

deep play? All play h a p p e n s in a special m e n t a l place, w i t h t i m e

for example, w e k n o w its " r a p t u r e " or its "ecstasy," and those

limits and rules, beyond everyday life. It contains uncertainty, illu-

w o r d s I t o o have used o n t h e m a n y occasions w h e n I've felt deep

sion, an e l e m e n t of make-believe or fantasy, and allows o n e t o take

play. R a p t u r e and ecstasy are n o t themselves deep play, b u t

risks, or explore n e w roles. Psychoanalyst D. W Winnicott, w h o

t h e y ' r e central c o m p o n e n t s of it.

spent a lifetime enthralled by t h e study of children, u n d e r s t o o d

t h e value of engaging in t h e distinctive play of psychotherapy:

R a p t u r e m e a n s , literally, being "seized by force," as if One

w e r e a p r e y a n i m a l w h o is carried away. C a u g h t in t h e talons of a
t r a n s c e n d e n t r a p t u r e , o n e is gripped, elevated, and trapped at a

Psychotherapy takes place in the overlap of two areas of

fearsome height. To t h e ancient Greeks, this feeling often fore-

playing, that of the patient and that of the therapist. Psycho-

told malevolence and d a n g e r o t h e r w o r d s t h a t drink from t h e

therapy has to do with two people playing together . . . psy-

s a m e r a p t u r o u s source are rapacious, rabid, ravenous, ravage, rape, usurp,

choanalysis has been developed as a highly specialized form

surreptitious. Birds of p r e y t h a t p l u n g e from t h e skies t o g o r e their

of playing in the service of communication with oneself and

victims are k n o w n as raptors. Seized by a jagged and violent force,

others.

t h e e n r a p t u r e d are carried aloft t o their u l t i m a t e d o o m .

Ecstasy also m e a n s to be gripped by passion, b u t frorh a

I was also a crisis counselor, a job t h a t was full of i n t i m a t e a n d

slightly different perspective: r a p t u r e is vertical, ecstasy h o r i z o n -

tense dramas. So, in several ways, m y life held an alternate reality

tal. R a p t u r e is high-flying, ecstasy occurs o n t h e g r o u n d . For

outside t h e n o r m a l lull of r o u t i n e , a h i g h intensity a n d focus,

s o m e reason, t h e ancient Greeks w e r e obsessed w i t h t h e symbol

p e r p e t u a l risk, c o n s t a n t e x p o s u r e t o d a n g e r , fascination w i t h

of standing, and relied o n t h a t o n e image for countless ideas, feel-

a n o t h e r a l l vital elements of deep play. British therapist Robin

ings, and objects. As a result, a great m a n y of o u r w o r d s today

S k y n n e r finds similarities b e t w e e n t h e d a n g e r o u s exhilaration of

simply reflect w h e r e or h o w things stand: stanchion, status, itare,

his w o r k and his experience flying M o s q u i t o b o m b e r s d u r i n g

staunch, steadfast, statute, and constant. B u t t h e r e are also h u n d r e d s of

World War II. D u r i n g counseling sessions, h e w o u l d s o m e t i m e s

u n e x p e c t e d ones, s u c h as stank (standing water), stallion (standing

recognize t h e same "feeling of being absolutely attentive and

in a stall), star (standing in t h e sky), restaurant (standing place for

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t h e wanderer), prostate (standing in front of t h e bladder), a n d so

" c o m m u n i t a s , " w h e n t h e usual social roles are t e m p o r a r i l y sus-

on. To t h e Greeks, ecstasy m e a n t t o stand outside onself. H o w is

p e n d e d . F r e u d w r o t e o f t h e infant's craving for a n "oceanic feel-

t h a t possible? T h r o u g h existential engineering. "Give m e a place

ing," d u r i n g w h i c h it seems t o m e r g e w i t h t h e beloved or its

t o stand," Archimedes proclaimed in t h e t h i r d c e n t u r y B.C., "and I

e n v i r o n m e n t . D. W. W i n n i c o t t w r o t e a b o u t play as a creative

will m o v e t h e earth." Levered by ecstasy, o n e springs o u t of one's

state of w i t h d r a w a l from everyday life. D. E. Berlyne argued t h a t

m i n d . T h r o w n free of one's n o r m a l self, a person stands in a n -

o r g a n i s m s d o n ' t strive for perfect c a l m a n d quiet, b u t , o n t h e

o t h e r place, o n t h e limits of body, society, and reason, w a t c h i n g

contrary, n e e d an " o p t i m a l " a m o u n t of s t i m u l a t i o n t o feel well.

t h e k n o w n world dwindle in t h e distance (a spot standing far

Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi has w r i t t e n a b o u t "flow," a t e r m c o m -

away). T h e e u p h o r i a of flying in dreams, or t h e longing t o fly

m o n l y used by his research subjects t o describe a m o o d of effort-

t h r o u g h t h e ocean w i t h dolphins, fills us w i t h r a p t u r e . C a n o n e

less e n j o y m e n t . Karl G r o o s a n d G. M u r p h y w r o t e a b o u t t h e

feel ecstasy and r a p t u r e at t h e s a m e time? "The h e a r t of standing

special p l e a s u r e t h a t c o m e s from using one's body a n d senses to

is you c a n n o t fly," William E m p s o n m u s e s in a p o e m a b o u t t h e si-

t h e fullest. Sartre, Heraclitus, Plato, a n d Nietzsche have e m p h a -

m u l t a n e o u s limits and g r a n d e u r of a love affair. These are t w o es-

sized t h e appeal of c o n t r o l and freedom in play. D u t c h a n t h r o -

cape routes from t h e m u n d a n e , t w o p a t h s t o deep play, equally

pologist J o h a n Huizinga w r o t e inspiringly about play and society.

quenching, equally mystical, and subtly different. All roads m a y

A b r a h a m H. Maslow w r o t e of "peak experiences . . . of ecstasy,

indeed lead to R o m e , b u t o n e m i g h t be hilly, t h e o t h e r marshy.

r a p t u r e , bliss, t h e greatest joy," t r a n s c e n d e n t states t h a t also in-

In s e v e n t e e n t h - c e n t u r y France, t h e fashionably risque s o m e -

clude "awe, mystery, c o m p l e t e perfection, humility, s u r r e n d e r ,

times bragged about an "ecstasy of delight" or an "ecstasy of

a n d worship." H e a l t h y ("self-actualizing") p e o p l e often experi-

rage"passions wild as a seizure, w i t h just a t i n c t u r e of blas-

ence s u c h i n h e r e n t l y r e w a r d i n g m o m e n t s as t h e y discover their

p h e m y to add a little soul-fearing frisson. B u t t h e w o r d m a i n l y

capabilities a n d limits.

referred to mystics and deeply religious people e n t r a n c e d to t h e

T h e spirit of deep play is central t o t h e life of each person, and

p o i n t of subtraction from t h e w o r l d . I suppose it's a telling sign of

also t o society, inspiring t h e visual, musical, a n d verbal arts; ex-

o u r times t h a t w e n o w regard b o t h r a p t u r e a n d ecstasy as plea-

p l o r a t i o n a n d discovery; war; law; and o t h e r elements of c u l t u r e

surable, desirable, even enviable states.

we've c o m e t o cherish (or dread). Swept u p by t h e deepest states

Whichever w o r d y o u c h o o s e r a p t u r e or e c s t a s y e a c h is

of play, o n e feels balanced, creative, focused. Deep play is a fasci-

f u n d a m e n t a l to t h e n o t i o n of deep play. So is t r a n s c e n d e n c e ,

n a t i n g h a l l m a r k of being h u m a n ; it reveals o u r need t o seek a

risk, obsession, pleasure, distractedness, timelessness, a n d a sense

special b r a n d of transcendence, w i t h a passion t h a t makes thrill-

o f t h e h o l y or sacred. Over t h e years, s o m e writers have illumi-

seeking explicable, creativity possible, a n d religion inevitable.

n a t e d i m p o r t a n t facets of t h e h u m a n condition t h a t are related

Perhaps religion seems an unlikely e x a m p l e of playing, b u t if you

in o n e way or a n o t h e r to deep play. At t h e d a w n of t h e t w e n t i -

l o o k at religious rites a n d festivals, y o u ' l l see all t h e play ele-

e t h century, Emile D u r k h e i m w r o t e a b o u t "collective efferves-

m e n t s , a n d also h o w deep t h a t play can b e c o m e . Religious r i t u -

cence," a g r o u p form of deep play t h a t o c c u r s d u r i n g ritualized

als usually include dance, w o r s h i p , music, a n d decoration. T h e y

events; and Victor T u r n e r later w r o t e similarly a b o u t a feeling of

swallow time. T h e y are ecstatic, absorbing, rejuvenating. T h e

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w o r d "prayer" derives from t h e Latin precarius, a n d contains t h e

t h o i n e once confessed t h a t a couple of times a year h e h a d to feed

idea of u n c e r t a i n t y and risk. Will t h e e n t r e a t y be answered? Life or

his rat, as h e p u t it, by w h i c h h e m e a n t t h a t wonderful m a d r o d e n t

d e a t h m a y d e p e n d o n t h e o u t c o m e . Because a system of sacrificial

inside h i m t h a t d e m a n d e d a challenge o r a trip t h a t w o u l d c o m -

rites is essentially t h e s a m e t h e world over, Huizinga concludes

bine a d v e n t u r e , fun, w o n d e r , risk, a n d ordeal. A l t h o u g h I ' m n o t a

rock climber, I k n o w h o w t h e rat gnaws, and I agree t h e r e is n o t h -

such customs must be rooted in a very fundamental, an ab-

ing like deep play. Risk stimulates r o m a n c e , and deep play thrives

original layer of the h u m a n mind . . . the concept of play

o n a r o m a n c e w i t h life. Intense creativity is o n e form of deep play,

merges quite naturally with that of holiness . . . archaic ritual

w h o s e origins psychologist Phyllis G r e e n a c r e helps illuminate.

is thus sacred play, indispensable for the community, fecund

After years of clinical s t u d y of children, she concluded t h a t often

of cosmic insight and social development but always play in

t h o s e destined t o b e c o m e artists w e r e children w h o d i d n ' t have a

the sense Plato gave to itan action accomplishing itself

reliable relationship w i t h their caretakers. Instead, t h e y devel-

outside and above the necessities and seriousness of everyday

oped (or m a d e d o w i t h ) "a love affair w i t h t h e world." While in

life. In this sphere of sacred play the child and the poet are at

t h e Antarctic, I w r o t e in m y j o u r n a l :

home with the savage.

Tonight the moon is invisible, darkness itself has nearly vanF r o m t i m e t o time, this b o o k b e c o m e s a fantasia o n a t h e m e

ished, and the known world which we map with families,

by Huizinga, in which I play w i t h s o m e of his ideas, amplify t h e m ,

routines, and newspapers, floats somewhere beyond the hori-

follow their shadows and nuances. However, I've b o r r o w e d t h e

zon. Traveling to a strange, new landscape is a kind of ro-

p h r a s e deep play from Jeremy B e n t h a m (17481832), t h e father of

mance. You become intensely aware of the world where you

utilitarianism, w h o dismisses as "deep play" any activity in w h i c h

are, but also oblivious to the rest of the world at the same

" t h e stakes are so h i g h t h a t . . . it is irrational for a n y o n e t o engage

time. Like love, travel makes you innocent again. The only

in it at all, since t h e m a r g i n a l utility of w h a t y o u stand to w i n is

news I've heard for days has been the news of nature. Tomor-

grossly o u t w e i g h e d by t h e disutility of w h a t you stand to lose."

row, when we drift through the iceberg gardens of Gerlache

This is t r u e of so m a n y h u m a n endeavors t h a t o n e can scarcely

Strait, I will be workingthat is, writing prose. My mind will

read t h e n e w s p a p e r w i t h o u t m a r v e l i n g at w h a t s o m e o n e s o m e -

become a cyclone of intense alertness, in which details pre-

w h e r e has decided she m u s t do, c o m e w h a t may. Scratch t h e sur-

sent themselves slowly, thoroughly, one at a time. I don't

face of an apparently low-key life, and y o u m a y find a passion for

k n o w how to describe what happens to m e when I'm o u t

cross-country skiing t h a t borders o n frenzy, or a collection of

in "nature" and "working"it's a kind of r a p t u r e b u t it's

s t a m p s t h e o w n e r pores over w i t h m o n k l i k e devotion as h o u r s

happened often enough that I know to expect it.

evaporate, because it contains t h e equivalent of h o l y relics.

B e n t h a m despises deep play precisely for s o m e o f t h e reasons

I was already o n t h e t h r e s h o l d of a great a d v e n t u r e , ready for

t h a t I and o t h e r s cherish it. For example, rock climber M o A n -

t h e r a p t u r e I k n e w awaited m e in t h e m o r n i n g . I k n e w it w o u l d

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be a cyclone of intense alertness, a marginally frightening state in

essence, and appeal. Disavow t h e illusion and t h e g a m e is over. Ig-

w h i c h I w o u l d exist entirely in t h e tense present a n d feel quintes-

n o r e a bully and h e loses his p o w e r to frighten. Ignore a siren and

sentially alive.

she loses h e r p o w e r to enthrall. T h e w o r d illusion literally m e a n s

T h a t j o u r n a l e n t r y r e p o r t s m a n y of t h e e l e m e n t s of deep

"in play." W h e n t h e g a m e of love is n o l o n g e r in play, w e say " t h e

play. O n e enters into an alternate reality w i t h its o w n rules, val-

magic is gone," s o m e of o u r best illusions have been shattered,

ues, and expectations. O n e sheds m u c h of one's c u l t u r e , w i t h its

a n d w e r e t u r n to t h e all-too-ordinary world.

countless technical and m o r a l d e m a n d s , as o n e draws o n a w h o l l y

This is n o t only t r u e of lovers. People isolated in tense, dra-

n e w and sense-ravishing way of life. We t h i n k of "brainwashing"

m a t i c situations of any k i n d w a r , expeditions, initiation rituals,

in t h e m o s t negative terms, as a bizarre, powerfully effective o r -

cruises, c l u b s c a n dwell in a powerfully r o m a n t i c a n d magical

deal t h a t h a p p e n s d u r i n g w a r t i m e , w h e n a prisoner is abducted

w o r l d set off from t h e rest of reality. S o m e t i m e s t h e players dis-

and isolated. All contact w i t h his past is severed, and h e is forced

guise themselves w i t h masks, uniforms, or costumes. S o m e t i m e s

to develop a different m e n t a l arcade, o n e exploitable by t h e

t h e y speak a private language. S o m e t i m e s t h e y share holy secrets.

e n e m y and including values opposite t o t h o s e h e previously cher-

Oscar Wilde said t h e essence of r o m a n c e is uncertainty. And w h a t

ished. However, t h e r e is a n o t h e r , positive f o r m of t h a t d r a m a , in

c o u l d be m o r e u n c e r t a i n t h a n danger? As m a n y researchers have

which o n e chooses t o divest oneself of preconceptions, h a n d - m e -

discovered, people fall in love far m o r e readily w h e n they're away

d o w n ideas, and s h o p w o r n opinions, chooses to wipe t h e m e n t a l

from h o m e , afraid of death, or b o t h . D a n g e r n a r r o w s and deep-

slate clean, chooses to be naive and w h o l l y o p e n to t h e world, as

ens y o u r focus. So does love. So does prayer. As t h e world reduces

o n e once was as a child. If cynicism is inevitable as o n e ages, so is

t o a small brilliant space, w h e r e every t h o u g h t and m o v e is vital

t h e y e a r n i n g for innocence. To children h e a v e n is being a n adult,

t o one's salvation, one's scattered energy s u d d e n l y has a center.

and to adults heaven is being children again.

O n l y t h e n d o all of o u r senses spring alert, and every sensation

W h e n lovers isolate themselves from others, desperate to be

m a t t e r s . At t h e same time, t h e rest of t h e w o r l d recedes. O n e is

alone together, indeed w h e n t h e y decide to b e c o m e "a couple,"

t e m p o r a r i l y u n s h a c k l e d from life's c h a i n s t h e family ones, t h e

t h e y escape t o t h e sacred k i n g d o m of their love affair, a private

w o r k ones, t h e ones w e wear as self-imposed weights. In m y

world w i t h its o w n customs, dialect, values, a n d rules. Love is a

pilot's j o u r n a l in 1980,1 w r o t e :

v o l u n t a r y mysticism. T h e y b e c o m e a c u l t of two. T h e y often address each o t h e r in baby talk, u s i n g t h e s a m e d i m i n u t i v e s a n d

It isn't that I find danger ennobling, or that I require cheap

e n d e a r m e n t s p a r e n t s lavish o n c h i l d r e n . T h e y t e n d t o r o m p to-

excitation to cure the dullness of routine; but I do like the

gether, to b e c o m e playmates. T h e lover is like a s h a m a n w h o rises

m o m e n t central to danger and to some sports, when you be-

i n t o steep ecstasy and t h u s is able t o see i n t o t h e h e a r t a n d soul of

come so thoroughly concerned with acting deftly, in order to

t h e beloved. If o n e lover breaks u p w i t h t h e o t h e r , their secret

be safe, that only reaction is possible, not analysis. You shed

world is shattered, its reality is disavowed, and in a sense t h e leav-

the centuries and feel creatural. Of course, you do have to

ing p a r t n e r becomes w h a t children like to refer to as "a spoil-

scan, assess, and make constant minute decisions. But there is

sport," s o m e o n e w h o ruins t h e g a m e by rejecting its reality,

nothing like thinking in the usual, methodical way. What takes

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its place is more akin to an informed instinct. For a pensive

muscle into life and feel its real p o w e r and sweep. We w a n t to drink

person, to be fully alert but free of thought is a form of ec-

from t h e source. In rare m o m e n t s of deep play, w e can lay aside o u r

stasy . . . there is also a state when perception doesn't work,

sense of self, shed time's c o n t i n u u m , ignore pain, and sit quietly

consciousness vanishes like the gorgeous fever it is, and you

i n t h e absolute present, w a t c h i n g t h e world's o r d i n a r y miracles.

feel free of all mind-body constraints, suddenly so free of

N o m i n d or h e a r t hobbles. N o analyzing or explaining. N o quest-

them you don't perceive yourself as being free, but vigilant, a

ing for logic. N o promises. N o goals. N o relationships. N o worry.

seeing eye without judgment, history, or emotion. It's that

O n e is c o m p l e t e l y o p e n t o w h a t e v e r d r a m a m a y unfold. W i t h in-

shudder out of time, the central m o m e n t in so many sports,

n o c e n t surprise, o n e regards life's spectacles and u n d e r p i n n i n g s .

that one often feels, and perhaps becomes addicted to, while

All o n e feels is affectionate curiosity for t h e w h o l e bustling e n t e r -

doing something dangerous.

prise of creation. It d o e s n ' t m a t t e r w h a t p r o m p t s t h e feeling

w a t c h i n g albatrosses c o u r t or following t h e sky-blown oasis of a

In later years, o n expeditions to extraordinary landscapes, I

t u m u l t u o u s sunset. W h e n it h a p p e n s we experience a sense of

discovered it is possible t o e n t e r t h e m a n s i o n s of n a t u r e so p r o -

revelation a n d gratitude. N o t h i n g n e e d be t h o u g h t or said. T h e r e

foundly t h a t t i m e vibrates in a n e w way. M o m e n t s m a y sprawl for

is a w a y of b e h o l d i n g t h a t is a form of prayer.

h o u r s or race by in a panic, split into separate p h o t o g r a p h i c stills

Deep t i m e isn't a r e a l m i n t o w h i c h o n e accidentally tumbles.

presenting themselves o n e by one, or pile u p , or whirl b r e a t h -

D o z e n s of choices m a y lead u p t o it, normal t i m e m a y s u r r o u n d it.

lessly like a beautiful t o r n a d o . In deep play, one's sense of t i m e n o

T h e r e is usually a b o u n d a r y or d o o r at t h e edge of deep time. I

longer originates w i t h i n oneself. This shift in t i m e often h a p p e n s

t h i n k of s u c h edges as "littoral m o m e n t s " because t h e y are like

t o people w h o w o r k w i t h wild animals, especially if t h e y set o u t

t h e t h i n skirtings of sand along seashores t h a t c o n n e c t t h e solid

o n expeditions to u n k n o w n lands.

land to t h e fluency of waves. T h e r e are m o m e n t s o n t h e brink,

O n o n e s u c h trip, t o a r e m o t e Japanese island t o find t h e last

w h e n you can give yourself t o a lover, or not; give in to self-

surviving short-tailed albatrosses, I fell o n a cliff a n d b r o k e t h r e e

d o u b t , uncertainty, a n d a d m o n i s h m e n t , or n o t ; dive i n t o a differ-

ribs. After that, life b e c a m e terrifyingly dangerous. At twilight,

e n t c u l t u r e , or n o t ; set sail for t h e u n k n o w n , or not; walk o u t

w h e n like m o n k s w e finished o u r silent beholding, w e g a t h e r e d

o n t o a stage, or n o t . A m o m e n t only a few seconds long, w h e n

u p o u r knapsacks a n d considered t h e ascent. H a m p e r e d by a tight

y o u r f u t u r e h a n g s i n t h e balance, poised above a chasm. It is a

straitjacket of pain, I could n o t m o v e t h e left side of m y body. Yet

crossroads. Resist t h e n , and t h e r e is n o r e t u r n i n g to t h e k n o w n

s o m e h o w we h a d to climb back u p t h e 400-foot cliff, hike across a

w o r l d . If you t u r n back, t h e r e is only w h a t m i g h t have been.

volcano t o t h e small, a b a n d o n e d garrison t h a t was o u r base

Above t h a t invisible crossroads are inscribed t h e words: Give up your

camp, and t h e n try to find a way off t h e island for medical help.

will, all who travel here.

"A great day, despite everything," I told m y c o m p a n i o n s , and

Giving u p m y will, self, u n i q u e n e s s h a p p i l y , w i t h a saint's

m e a n t it. "Who w o u l d d r i n k from a c u p w h e n t h e y can d r i n k

d e v o t i o n h a s its o w n special appeal. As does l e n d i n g m y sensi-

from t h e source?"

bility to s o m e o n e else so t h a t h e or she m a y speak t h r o u g h it,

T h a t d r a m a highlights a n o t h e r facet of deep play. We w a n t to

sharing their vision in a c o h e r e n t language. I suppose I try to be a

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translator of sorts, striving t o translate e m o t i o n a n d vision into

ously been aware of. In those precious m o m e n t s of p u r e ecstasy,"

words, t o express t h e life force of animals and landscapes, t o give

Neal continues, o n e " r u n s a n d j u m p s a n d lives t h r o u g h t h e p u r e

t h e m voice. I p o r e over t h e lustrous details of n a t u r e and h u m a n

play process, w h i c h is c o m p o s e d of joy and pleasure and exuber-

n a t u r e . H o w different is this from a m o n k devoting his life to an

ance and l a u g h t e r ; even t h e pain seems completely tolerable in

illuminated manuscript?

these few precious and rare m o m e n t s of being, and of k n o w i n g

W h a t is t h e difference b e t w e e n simple play and deep play?

t h a t o n e is just t h a t . . . a oneness and a wholeness." Substitute

Simple play can take m a n y forms a n d have m a n y purposes, b u t it

gospel singing or painting for playing basketball in Neal's descrip-

goes only so far. W h e n it starts focusing one's life a n d offering ec-

tion, and it w o u l d be equally t r u e .

static m o m e n t s , it b e c o m e s deep play. Evolution fiddling w i t h

T i m e a n d again, risk-seekers r e p o r t a combination of height-

o n e p h e n o m e n o n s u c h as color or flightis an e x a m p l e of

ened awareness and o m n i p o t e n c e . In Bone Games, climber Rob

play at its m o s t basic, w h e r e bare bones are revealed. Even w i t h -

Schultheis recalls h o w h e felt descending a m o u n t a i n after a har-

o u t m i n d , it is still ingeniously varied and full of risk. W h e n ani-

rowing n e a r - d e a t h fall: "The person I became o n Neva was t h e best

mals rehearse techniques they'll n e e d as adults, or g a m b o l a b o u t

possible version of myself, t h e person I should have been t h r o u g h o u t

t o keep their wits a n d muscles keen, a n o t h e r form of play be-

m y life. N o regrets, n o hesitation; t h e r e were n o false moves left in

comes visible. But this is n o t deep play. N e i t h e r is s o m e t h i n g d o n e

m e . I really believe I could have hit a m o s q u i t o in t h e eye w i t h a

because of obligation o r t h r e a t . C o n c e n t r a t i n g for l o n g h o u r s in a

p i n e needle at thirty paces; I c o u l d n ' t miss because t h e r e was n o

d e m a n d i n g job is n o t deep play. Jogging because you k n o w it's

such t h i n g as a miss." Charles Lindbergh w r o t e of seeing ghost

g o o d for y o u is n o t deep play. Playing a sport h a r d because a lot of

c o m p a n i o n s w h o helped h i m navigate o n his famous 1926 solo

m o n e y and/or r e p u t a t i o n is riding o n y o u r p e r f o r m a n c e is n o t

flight, and gave h i m "messages of i m p o r t a n c e unattainable in ordi-

deep play. Repeating prayers or singing h y m n s t h a t have g r o w n

n a r y life." Swiss geologist Albert v o n St. Gallen Heim, w h o inter-

stale is n o t deep play. Deep play is n o t always positive and uplift-

viewed survivors of climbing falls for his 1892 m o n o g r a p h Remarks

ing. G a n g m e m b e r s s o m e t i m e s describe their exploits as a per-

on Fatal Falls, found t h a t they h a d h a d similar experiences:

verse r a p t u r e . However, in deep play's altered m e n t a l state o n e

m o s t often finds clarity, revelation, acceptance of self, and o t h e r

. . . there was no anxiety, no trace of despair, no pain. . . men-

life-affirming feelings.

tal activity became enormous, rising to a hundredfold ve-

T h e r e are times d u r i n g deep play w h e n o n e feejs invincible,

locity or intensity. The relationship of events and their

i m m o r t a l , an ideal version of oneself. " O n e stands o n t h e t h r e s h -

probable outcomes were overviewed with objective clarity.

old of miracles," basketball player Patsy Neal writes a b o u t peak

The individual acted with lightning quickness.

experiences d u r i n g a game. "The p o w e r of t h e m o m e n t adds u p

t o a certain a m o u n t of religion in t h e p e r f o r m a n c e . Call it a state

Schulteis credits "stress-triggered ecstasy" for t r a n s c e n d e n t expe-

of grace, or an act of faith . . . or an act of God. . . . T h e individual

riences, t h e same r u s h p r o d u c e d by vision quests and s o u g h t by

b e c o m e s swept u p in t h e action a r o u n d h e r s h e a l m o s t floats

s h a m a n s . Moses climbed M o u n t Sinai t o speak w i t h God, M o -

t h r o u g h t h e performance, drawing o n forces she has never previ-

h a m m e d climbed M o u n t Hira, B u d d h a experienced years of

26

D I A N E

ACKERMAN

deprivation in t h e lowlands. Pain, exhaustion, h u n g e r , stress, iso-

.. **>. -v-**. *v- -* ^*- **v~ -%--*-.-*.*" -%*.~* -*%*- ~^\ .*-_-- -*^TV~*^
%.. -^^Zg2*Z.
*"ZZHr/>
Vs* Z?S>' Z-/ ~<~ Z*/ **.
.z^0

lation, riskall are frequently used by s h a m a n s , e x t r e m e a t h letes, saints, and o t h e r s t o flog t h e body into e n l i g h t e n e d states.
T h e sacred p l a y g r o u n d m a y be as g r a n d as t h e G r a n d C a n yon, as fluid as t h e ocean w h e r e d o l p h i n s swim, as crowded as a
jazz club, or even as invisible as a c y b e r c h u r c h o n t h e I n t e r n e t .
Deep play's e x t r e m e versions m a y include death-defying feats,
d u r i n g w h i c h o n e tends t o feel r e m a r k a b l y tranquil. "You feel a

'M
Si%
CHAPTER

TWO

V ^
'0

calmness t h r o u g h y o u r body," m o t o r c y c l e racer M a l c o l m S m i t h

reports, "even t h o u g h y o u k n o w intellectually t h a t y o u ' r e r i g h t

o n t h e b r i n k of disaster." C h a l l e n g e , discovery, e x p l o r a t i o n ,
novelty, p u s h i n g one's limits, losing one's self in t h e a c t i v i t y
e l e m e n t s of deep p l a y o c c u r for S m i t h w h e n h e races m o t o r cycles. However, n o t all people w h o ride motorcycles u n d e r g o

(
Vm

Through

Deep

Play)

w .

So then, let Thy fear, O Yahweh our God, come over

toil

all Thy creatures, and reverent dread of Thee upon

This book is n o t a conclusion b u t an exploration. It invites

all that Thou hast made, that all Thy creatures may

you t o look closely at t h e h u m a n saga, and consider h o w m u c h

fear Thee and every being bow before Thee and that

of it revolves a r o u n d play. Basic play, elaborate play, c r u d e play,

they may all become bonded together to do Thy will

sophisticated play, violent play, casual play. M o s t animals play.

with all their heart, even as we know, O Yahweh our

Evolution itself plays w i t h lifeforms. W h o l e c u l t u r e s play w i t h

God, that Thine is the lordship, that might is in Thy

c u s t o m s , ideas, belief systems, and fashions. B u t it's a special cali-

m a k e s us t h e p u z z l i n g a n d at times r e s p l e n d e n t beings w e are. By

Hi

a h a p p y coincidence, this book is itself an e x a m p l e of its t h e m e .

T h e writing of it includes m a n y m o m e n t s of play, s o m e p u r e r and
m o r e t r a n s c e n d e n t t h a n others. I've allowed t h o s e m o m e n t s to
hover a bit, as t h e y d o in life, because t h a t s h u d d e r o u t of t i m e is
h o w deep play always begins.

'%
Hi
v i
Hi.

m
m

u i

vehicle of novelists and poets. . . . as [the poet] passes

from windy hill-top to green creeks and grazings

Hi

Jewish prayer
The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the

Hi

left hand and power in Thy right hand and Thy

name exalted above all that Thou hast created.

ber of p l a y d e e p t h a t leads t o transcendence, creativity, and a

need for t h e sacred. Indeed, it's o u r passion for deep play t h a t

.f

t h e s a m e enthusiasm. For some, racing is w o r k ; for others, it is

play; b u t for Smith, it is deep play.

(Purification

sometimes the bicycle sets him free. He sees it all

afresh; nothing, nothing has ever been written yet:

the entire white paper of the world is clean for his

special portrait of all hunger, all joy, and all vexation.
Christopher Morley, The Romany Stain (1926)

~"-^*. Z?**~ *4** ZS~.^-#. w**- ~*v~ "*S~. **_** -^N-. -*>*- -<*V..-*\*- ^tov~<
'ZX/s .^TZ.?y^*
^ , .&"~, ^^y vA^m* ^r, ^HH, ^.S *^*m. ~*r/ *&*. -<A^-* ~"*VV"

28

D I A N E

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29

The evil ofthe action weighs upon us and deprives us of our selfrespect. We accuse ourselves and remorse sets in. But alongside
X .oorm Kippur, t h e Jewish Day of A t o n e m e n t . T h e liturgy includes

this self-depreciation stands a second one. . . . The same per-

prayers t h a t t r e m b l e w i t h t h e "reverent dread" of early religions.

verse action that before weighed upon us now pollutes us; we

It is a day dedicated to regret, apology, and a t o n e m e n t , which is it-

do not accuse ourselves, we are defiled in our own eyes. And

self a fascinating h u m a n obsession. D o o t h e r animals feel debased

the characteristic form of emotional reaction is no longer re-

by acting badly? As any dog o w n e r will tell you, s o m e animals d o

morse but loathing. The man feels a need, to express which he

k n o w w h e n they've d o n e s o m e t h i n g forbidden. B u t o u r powerful

has recourse to images of washing and cleansing . . . the need

frenzy of self-disgust w h e n w e transgress m o r a l codes or c o m m i t

for atonement.

evil is uniquely h u m a n . F u r t h e r m o r e , as R u d o l f O t t o reminds us

in his classic study, The Idea ofthe Holy, n o religion expresses o u r in-

Are w e t o a t o n e only for sins of commission, or for sins of omis-

n a t e need for a t o n e m e n t as eloquently as Christianity, w h i c h has

sion, too? A n d h o w deep s h o u l d t h a t a t o n e m e n t run? For e x a m -

raised it t o a powerful and elaborate art form. H e traces t h e m e n t a l

ple, t h e s u n set today w i t h o u t m y celebrating it, w i t h o u t trying

course t h a t begins w i t h feelings of guilt about doing s o m e t h i n g

t o c a p t u r e it in a n e t of words. O u t of laziness, distractedness, or

bad to t h e need for ceremonial purification:

selfishness, I did o t h e r things instead. I played in t h e garden. I

m a d e a m a p of o n e flower bed, w i t h plastic overlays o n w h i c h I
d r e w each season's additional plants. T h e n I slowly laid o n e seet h r o u g h sheet o n t o p of a n o t h e r , p i c t u r i n g t h e flowers t h a t
w o u l d b l o o m a n d vanish w i t h t h e c h a n g i n g seasons, a n d o t h e r s
t h a t w o u l d b l o o m for m o n t h s o n end. I loved p i c t u r i n g p u r p l e
pea pods climbing t w o w h i t e trellises. B u t suppose s o m e w h e r e

fir*

t h e r e are p e o p l e w h o n e e d t h e tonic of t h e sunset? Maybe n o t

fifty or even t e n of t h e m . Suppose t h e r e is only one, say a y o u n g
m a n w h o is trapped in a t o u g h h o m e life w h e r e h e doesn't have a
n o u r i s h i n g relationship w i t h any caregiver. Suppose, to use Phyllis Greenacre's insights, h e is nonetheless surviving w i t h grace by
developing a love affair w i t h t h e world, a sense of admiration and
awe t h a t will save him?
W h y d o risk-takers and e x t r e m e athletes alike speak so often
of purification as t h e desired o u t c o m e of their deep-play ordeal? Why
d o t h e y feel in n e e d of cleansing} For w h a t do t h e y require d e a t h defying feats of atonement? T h a t cleansing t h e m i n d and body may
offer relief from t h e strain of c o n s t a n t awareness and perception,

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and therefore feels good, doesn't explain t h e e x t r e m e s certain

a n d favored. Or, t o p u t it a n o t h e r way, s o m e people stage their

people choose for t h a t cleansing, o r t h e relentlessness of their

o w n personal initiation rites before parent-gods, t h e cosmos, or

c o m p u l s i o n . Christianity's idea of original sin has been hugely

an imaginary j u r y of peers. T h e y are never alone o n their m o u n -

successful because it taps into a feeling m o s t h u m a n s experience:

tain or ice yacht, b u t a c c o m p a n i e d by hard-to-impress ghosts. I

a sense of free-floating guilt, a need for self-improvement, a belief

suppose it's m a d e worse by t h e strange little t r u t h t h a t , w h e n t h e

t h a t t h e r e is a best version of oneself o n e can become, s o m e o n e

chips are d o w n , w e t e n d t o c o m p a r e o u r insides to o t h e r people's

m o r e lovable, s o m e o n e of h i g h e r status. We can i m a g i n e states of

outsides, a n d t h u s e n d u p feeling like c o n m e n a n d fakes. Were it

perfection w e c a n n o t achieve. Such are t h e p h a n t o m s of c o n -

possible, w e w o u l d start over again, p u r e as a n e w b o r n , in t h e

sciousness. But, given t h a t i n n a t e tendency, s o m e people struggle

h o p e of following a m o r e sacred p a t h . If that's n o t possible, a n d it

m o r e t h a n others, s o m e feel a greater need t o b e c o m e a p e r -

never is, t h e n t h e next-best step is t o try to strip d o w n to acquired

son t h e y can live with, to establish h a r m o n y in t h e self. I believe

innocence, wash away o u r selfish h u n g e r s and all t h e wicked h u -

t h a t feeling is forged in t h e brazier of relationships, probably

m o r s of t h e w o r l d . Benjamin D e M o t t , in a s t u d y of p a r a c h u t e

early ones. T h e symbolism is suspicious. Babies are "baptized" to

j u m p e r s , explains t h a t for t h e j u m p e r "it a m o u n t s to a ritual of

cleanse their soiled spirit. H o w soiled can it be? All m a m m a l i a n

d i v e s t i t u r e a m e a n s of stripping off layers of institutional lies

m o t h e r s clean their infants so t h a t they'll thrive; m o s t lick t h e m

a n d m y t h s t h a t e n c r u s t t h e I n d i v i d u a l . . . . M a n diving is m a n

clean. For adults, s u c h acts r e t u r n t h e m e m o t i o n a l l y to t h e safety

alive; t h e ecstasy is t h a t of n o n - c o n n e c t i o n t h e exhilaration of

and absolute love of infancy. Indeed, t h o s e are t h e w o r d s people

sinking t h e w o r l d t o n o t h i n g n e s s , o r at least t o stillness, and

use: being reborn. H o w does o n e arrive at t h a t literally impossible

t h e r e b y creating t h e self as All." W h e n o n e enters t h e r e a l m of

place? Magically, symbolically, by e x t r e m e acts t h a t prove o n e is

deep play, t h e sacred p l a y g r o u n d w h e r e only t h e present m o -

deserving, acts so risky, focused, or e x h a u s t i n g t h e y seem t o erase

m e n t matters, one's history and future vanish. O n e doesn't r e m e m -

all o n e has been, all o n e has t h o u g h t , all failures and yearnings,

ber one's past, needs, expectations, worries, real or imaginary sins.

all expectations of oneself. O n e can also grovel a n d p e r f o r m clear

T h e deep-play w o r l d is fresh, w h o l l y absorbing, and full of its

acts of contrition and apology.

o w n u n i q u e w i s d o m and d e m a n d s . Being able to temporarily

W h e n o n e atones, t h e guilt m a y be w a s h e d away, t h e slate

step outside of n o r m a l lifewhile keeping one's senses alertis

wiped clean. Of course, life being t h e m o r a l sty it is, o n e soon be-

indeed like being r e b o r n . To erase all m e m o r i e s and y e a r n i n g s

comes redefiled and again needs t o atone. A Freudian m i g h t say

t o be vigorously alive w i t h o u t self-awarenesscan provide a

that, deprived of adequate parenting, s o m e internalize t h e h a r s h

brief r e t u r n t o innocence. "No h u m a n being is i n n o c e n t , " p o e t

tribunal of their parents and spend their lives trying t o gain t h e

W. H. A u d e n observes, "but t h e r e is a class of i n n o c e n t actions

impossible love of p h a n t o m s . Unclear about their motives, t h e y

called games."

feel as if t h e y have reparations to pay for t h e war crimes of their

y o u t h b u t the details are foggy. A t o n e m e n t literally m e a n t reestablishing a lost b o n d w i t h a god or gods, a n a t - o n e - m e n t w i t h a

S u c h are m y t h o u g h t s as I bike d o w n a h o t c o u n t r y road w h e r e a

h i g h e r force and judge, in order once m o r e t o be protected, fed,

mirage of w a t e r waits t w e n t y yards ahead b u t always o u t of reach.

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Finally I t u r n toward t h e cooler sanctuary of a woods. I love t h e

m a n t r a of sensations t h a t I experience separately: blue sky, w h i t e

d r e a m state of biking and its m a n y circles: t h e wheels w i t h i n

clouds, green trees, apple scent, bright s u n , w a r m breeze. N o t all

wheels, t h e circular m o t i o n o f t h e legs, t h e circling o f t h e seasons,

bike rides begin and e n d in a m e d i t a t i o n o n t h e senses. B u t I try at

t h e circular j o u r n e y s t h a t u s u a l l y e n d b a c k w h e r e t h e y b e g a n

least t o keep worries, sorrows, a n d m i n d theaters t o a m i n i m u m ,

b u t w i t h r e n e w e d zest a n d a d d e d experience. A l o w g r o w l of

and o p e n myself u p t o t h e textures and processes of life. If I focus

m a c a d a m quickly changes to dirt quiet and t h e occasional c h a t -

only o n sensations, t h e w o r l d unfolds in a h u n d r e d fascinating

ter of twigs and leaves. A biting s u n gives way t o t h e dappled light

directions.

of t h e forest, and* I b e c o m e aware of m y back c u r v e d over t h e

S o m e t i m e s I b e c o m e aware of m y grip o n t h e handlebars.

yellow bike frame, flexing w i t h t h e bike; a n d of m y feet p u s h i n g

W h a t a m a r v e l of design is t h e h u m a n h a n d . T h e h a n d is action, it

gently like pistons b u t also floating. T h e sensation of

floating,

digs roads and builds cities, it t h r o w s spears and diapers babies.

which figures in o u r dreams, is often experienced by mystics and

A n d even a small d r a m a like p u s h i n g a b u t t o n can c h a n g e t h e

meditators, and also frequently r e p o r t e d by r u n n e r s , dancers,

course of nations. Nerves in o u r h a n d s send messages a b o u t

climbers, joggers.

t o u c h , pressure, heat, cold, and pain u p 17,000 fibers to t h e brain.

"The flesh b e c o m e s light a n d t r a n s p a r e n t , " Isadora D u n c a n

W i t h o u t t h a t intricate feel for life t h e r e w o u l d be n o artists t o

writes in The Art of Dance, "a l u m i n o u s m o v i n g c l o u d . . . t h e w h o l e

m a k e sensory a n d e m o t i o n a l m a p s of t h e world. We've b e c o m e

of its divinity." Margherita D u n c a n , Isadora's sister-in-law, de-

voluptuaries of t o u c h . We feel o u r way t h r o u g h life from birth to

scribed t h e r a p t u r e of w a t c h i n g Isadora dance: " W h e n she danced

d e a t h . After all, t o u c h is w h a t leads us outside ourselves. T o u c h is

t h e Blue Danube, her simple waltzing forward and back, like t h e

w h a t gives us o u r grasp o n life. B u t m o s t of all it allows us to re-

o n c o m i n g a n d receding waves o n t h e shore, h a d s u c h a n ecstasy

joice in o n e a n o t h e r , o u r friends a n d loved ones, o u r neighbors

of r h y t h m t h a t audiences became frenzied w i t h t h e contagion of

and families. A n d p e r h a p s t h a t is t h e m o s t t o u c h i n g t h o u g h t of

it, and could n o t contain themselves, b u t rose from their seats,

all. Because t o u c h m a k e s t h e world tantalizing and rich, it's p a r t

cheering, applauding, l a u g h i n g and crying. . . . We felt as if w e

o f t h e m e r c h a n d i s e being sold in catalogues and chic stores: mas-

h a d received t h e blessing of God." Of course, dance-induced ec-

saging chairs, mattresses, and i m p l e m e n t s . W i t h o u t t o u c h we

stasy has a l o n g religious tradition, m o s t famously associated w i t h

w o u l d live in a sensory desert. As o u r m o s t erotic sense, it's also

t h e whirling dervishes. "In t h e m i d s t of this a b a n d o n m e n t of

subject t o m a n y taboos. If a couple isn't married, their caresses

self, or r a t h e r religious delirium," J o h n Porter B r o w n writes in

w o u l d be illegal u n d e r t h e laws of m a n y nations. T o u c h r e m i n d s

Danishes, "they m a k e use of r e d - h o t irons. . . . These fanatics,

us of t h a t t i m e w h e n M o t h e r cradled us, and we felt safe, adored,

t r a n s p o r t e d by frenzy, seize u p o n these irons, gloat u p o n t h e m ,

and perfectly lovable. As adults, w e still crave t h o s e affectionate

bite t h e m , h o l d t h e m b e t w e e n their teeth, a n d e n d by cooling

touches.

t h e m in their m o u t h s . "

A low-flying bluejay steals m y attention. Sapsucker Woods is

T h a t ' s a bit m o r e fire a n d float t h a n I n e e d , so I ' m h a p p y t o

incredibly beautiful in this season. Shriveled ferns have t u r n e d

leave t h e r e d - h o t irons t o dervishes. W h i l e cycling, I t e n d t o

shades of o r a n g e - b r o w n . Shallow w a t e r u n d e r t h e raised walk-

c o m m u n e w i t h n a t u r e , feel life's e l e m e n t s , a n d r e p e a t a s i m p l e

ways m a k e s a single black smear, w i t h golden pine needles lying

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o n a brilliant collage. T h e bike wheels s o u n d like t h e shushing of

t h e m for m u c h of o u r h u m a n i t y . Maybe t h e airplane and elec-

children dragging their shoes t h r o u g h fallen leaves. A m i r r o r

tronics revolutions pale by c o m p a r i s o n w i t h t h e e q u i n e one.

world glows in t h e pond's shining ebony. Focus o n t h e w o r l d in-

As w e flinch from t h e zealous assaults of technology, w h i c h

side t h e mirror, t h e rippling chiaroscuro, and you can slide d o w n

have t u r n e d daily life into an obstacle course of billboards, and

into it. Leaves float o n t o p like gondolas, b u t a h i d d e n reality

u p p e d t h e ante so high t h a t k i n d e r g a r t e n children n o w use w o r d

seems to vibrate below. T h e sky in t h a t k i n g d o m is deeper, m o r e

processors, it's easy t o forget t h a t feeling o v e r w h e l m e d is a rela-

brooding, darker t h a n t h e actual sky above Sapsucker Woods. It's

tive state. S o m e o n e riffling t h r o u g h h u m a n history m i g h t n o t

limitless as t h e real sky is limitless, b u t a s h a d o w reality rules t h e

find o u r c o m p u t e r age a revolutionary pinnacle; t h e y m i g h t

w a t e r world: all its e l e m e n t s are real, all its apparitions are real;

choose s o m e t h i n g like t h e domestication of t h e horse, w h i c h

yet it is n o t real. In this t h r e e - d i m e n s i o n a l jigsaw puzzle, t h e fact

vastly altered t h e c u l t u r e , character, language, mobility, and

t h a t images are upside d o w n is a l m o s t incidental.

even t h e look of h u m a n beings. With bridled horses, w e galloped

As fish and insects t o u c h t h e surface, t h e y distort t h e picture.

A gentle s u n l i g h t lies like tufts of c o t t o n w o o l in t h e c l u m p e d

across c o n t i n e n t s and r e t u r n e d w i t h a treasury of words, seeds,

and in-laws.

grasses. T h e air has a razor clarity to it, a brilliance a n d sharpness

James Watt, an e i g h t e e n t h - c e n t u r y engineer, decided t h a t if

t h a t highlights a dragonfly weaving over t h e p o n d h e r e and

h e wished people to u n d e r s t a n d t h e p o w e r of his n e w i n v e n t i o n

t h e r e pausing, as if displayed inside a glass paperweight. W h e n a

t h e s t e a m e n g i n e h e w o u l d n e e d t o c o m p a r e it t o a t e a m of

light breeze shakes t h e surface of t h e water, colors ripple over

horses. H e m e a s u r e d h o w m u c h weight a single brewery horse

tree t r u n k s perfectly p o r t r a y e d all t h e way d o w n to t h e encrusta-

could pull, and concluded t h a t , in o n e m i n u t e , o n e horse could

tions of fungi and peeling of bark. Surely o n e could peer u n d e r -

m o v e 33,000 p o u n d s o n e foot. We still calibrate m a c h i n e r y in

n e a t h t h e islands of m a t t e d leaves and see to t h e distant shore.

h o r s e p o w e r and if t h a t seems archaic it also feels viscerally right,

A b o u t t w e n t y half-decayed logs lie like alligators, s n o u t u n d e r

because horses have amplified t h e destiny of everyone o n earth.

leaves, front legs in t h e p o n d , t r u n k o n t h e land.

Horses have m a d e civilization possible.

Leaving t h e p o n d ' s upside-down p l a n e t a r i u m , I ride in t h e

Long after dogs, sheep, a n d cattle b e c a m e familiars, a r o u n d

opposite direction, w h e r e everything s u d d e n l y looks new. W h e n

t h e third m i l l e n n i u m B.C., h u m a n s first began to domesticate

deep play grows stale, o n e can simply change t h e perspective. H o w

horses, t o r o p e a n d bridle t h e m for w o r k , and t h e n t o t h i n k of

to do t h a t even more? Well, one way m i g h t be to leave m y bike

t h e m as possible extensions of t h e h u m a n body. It m u s t have

h o m e and r e t u r n o n horseback, jogging along, head at branch

t a k e n b l o o d - a n d - t h u n d e r courage for t h e first person t o leap

level, changing all t h e sounds, relaxing, being transported, viewing

o n t o t h e back of a wild, biting, bucking, limb-flailing horse, b u t

t h e forest from a m o v i n g perch. I've always loved horses. R h y t h -

t h a t act of daring led to a world filled w i t h such ordinary miracles

mic, v o l u p t u o u s , full of s n o r t a n d lather, horses are fun t o ride,

as airplane flight.

b u t t h e y are also fun to t h i n k . Play w i t h t h e idea of horses. Maybe

Horses c h a n g e d o u r lives irreversibly. People n o longer con-

t h e y w e r e vital t o all w e have b e c o m e . Maybe we're indebted t o

d u c t e d r o m a n c e s as t h e y did before h o r s e s s u d d e n l y t h e y could

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c o u r t s o m e o n e from across t h e river, or in a different valley.

w e r e right. T h e h u m a n body, once c r a m p e d and slow, h a d at-

" C o u r t i n g distance" was twelve m i l e s h o w far a rider could

tached itself to a swift, powerful horse. It b e c a m e a biological m o -

comfortably ride, spend a little t i m e visiting, and r e t u r n h o m e , all

saic, a t h i n k i n g fury t h a t could gallop t h r o u g h forests, swamps,

in o n e day. T h e relationship of m a r r i e d children and parents

a n d deserts. This symbiosis felt right t h e n , in s o m e deep, organic

changed; they could visit often; good-bye was n o t forever; t h e r e

way, and it has felt right ever since, even majestic. H u m a n s are a

was n o need t o a b a n d o n t h e m if t h e y m a r r i e d s o m e o n e from a

r u n n i n g species. Graceful and fast, m u s c u l a r and c o m p a c t , we

far-flung t o w n . People n o longer fought wars only w i t h neigh-

identify w i t h t h e fugitive spirit of a horse. T h e h u m a n "race"

bors. M o u n t e d attacks were to be feared, a n d it m a d e sense to

longs to be off like a shot, burn up the road, get the lead out, make tracks, high-

condense dwellings into a small area for m u t u a l defense. Riders

tail it, vamoose, or skedaddle. We w h o use t h e w o r d " r u n " to describe

could carry silk, spices, and o t h e r trade goods t o far lands. Fami-

t h e success of nearly everything, even apply t h e w o r d to clocks,

lies could arrange marriages over greater distances, even w i t h

w h i c h seems a fair choice, since r u n n i n g horses revolutionized

people in o t h e r countries, and so t h e gene p o o l began to change.

o u r sense of time. W h e n you can sprint across t h e e a r t h at t w e n t y

Riders sowed t h e seeds of language and c u l t u r e t h r o u g h o u t t h e

miles an h o u r , h o w can you e n d u r e t h e tardiness of a shopkeeper?

world. In time, t h e horse carried such trends as " r o m a n t i c love"

If a relay of riders can cross a frontier in o n e day, h o w can you pos-

from t h e Middle East t h r o u g h Spain and into s o u t h e r n France.

sibly wait longer t h a n t h a t for an i m p o r t a n t message to arrive?

T h e horse altered t h e way people e a r n e d their livings, h o w they

Horses have always tantalized a wild and ancient p a r t of us.

educated their y o u n g , w h e r e t h e y vacationed, h o w t h e y t h o u g h t

B u t for w o m e n t h e relationship goes even deeper, to t h e core of

of news, w h a t sports t h e y played, h o w t h e y raised crops, w h e r e

their psychology, self-definition, and sexuality. Adolescent girls

t h e y worshiped, h o w they c o n d u c t e d g o v e r n m e n t , and w h e t h e r

t e n d t o obsess a b o u t horses, and, u n b e k n o w n s t to t h e m , it's an

or n o t t h e y could rescue o n e a n o t h e r in t h e event of catastro-

idolatry w i t h an ancient past. Early h u m a n history is d r e n c h e d

phes. T h e horse r e v a m p e d t h e limits of o u r personal freedom,

w i t h horse worship. Irish kings used to w o r s h i p their goddess,

and enriched w h a t we m e a n by a pilgrimage. M o s t of all, it e n -

Epona, t h e White Mare. Her chalk effigy, nearly 400 feet long, still

hanced h o w w e p i c t u r e t h e h u m a n body, t h a t personal space in

surveys a hillside in Berkshire, England. This religion, based on

which we live, m a k i n g it elastic and swift. If o n e wished, o n e

horse worship, wasn't just a small cult limited to Britain; it

could ride to t o w n for a quick chore or a social gathering. Until

thrived in Scandinavia, Europe, Greece, and India. Indeed, its holy

very recently, horses completely d o m i n a t e d one's business and

days w e r e still being celebrated, along w i t h Christian ones, in Eu-

leisure hours. It was inconceivable t o imagine a w o r l d w i t h o u t

r o p e as late as t h e sixteenth century. T h e animal t h a t appears

horses being used for t r a n s p o r t , portage, sports, and war.

m o s t often in t h e Lascaux cave is t h e horse, and t h e r e are great

For m o s t of h u m a n history, horses w e r e t h e u l t i m a t e , m o s t

magical herds of t h e m , painted in perspective, and w i t h seasonal

advanced form of t r a n s p o r t a t i o n , and t h a t m a d e t h e m seem m i -

a n d behavioral details lovingly observed. Today horses fire o u r

r a c u l o u s as spaceships. W h e n Cortes landed in t h e N e w World,

imaginations just as surely as t h e y did t h e n . "The proverb is t h e

w i t h sixteen of his m e n o n horseback, t h e w o n d e r s t r u c k Aztecs

horse of conversation," t h e D a h o m e a n s of West Africa say prover-

t h o u g h t t h e y were looking at manifold gods. In a sense, t h e y

bially. D o m e s t i c a t i n g horses has greatly altered o u r lives, b u t it

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hasn't diluted o u r sense of mysticism and awe. A t o p Everest, holy

s o m e t h i n g requiring greater skills, greater risk, n e w e r challenges.

flags flutter, bearing w r i t t e n prayers and images of winged horses.

O n e can see h o w i m p o r t a n t this trait m i g h t be in o u r o w n evolu-

T h e flags, left by Sherpas o n t h e ledge o f t h e world, invoke their

tion. A n e w scheme, thrilling at first, rapidly becomes ordinary,

deities w i t h words, and t h e horses are sacred spirits w h o will

and finally dull. Craving m o r e m o m e n t s of deep play, we set big-

speed t h e prayers to heaven. Lung ta is w h a t t h e Sherpas call t h e

ger challenges, develop n e w skills, take greater chances, canvass

small, powerful p e n n a n t s . For convenience, and because o u r

worlds.

world is less animistic t h a n theirs, w e translate this as "prayer

flag," b u t n o d o u b t Sherpas hear galloping hooves in t h e r h y t h mic flapping. To t h e m , lung ta m e a n s "wind horse."

H u m a n s love playing w i t h o t h e r animals, and s o m e t i m e s this

T h e r e was a t i m e w h e n riding a horse was like riding a whirl-

leads t o a p u r i t y of exchange a l m o s t magical in its intensity, deep

wind, and galloping across t h e t u n d r a atop a half t o n of snorting,

play at its best. For instance, I once heard about a friendly g r o u p of

whinnying, barely controlled panic was deep play e n o u g h . T h e

s p o t t e d dolphins t h a t are d r a w n to music played u n d e r w a t e r and

only p r o b l e m is t h a t w h e n peak experiences are repeated t h e y

often lose their intensity. Familiarity reduces t h e thrill. Oh, that
again, t h e m i n d says w i t h a yawn, another gallop, another balloon crossing,
another summit. Mastery m a y be w h a t w e strive for, b u t once w e
achieve it we lose t h e novelty, innocence, tension, t h e striving for
a c c o m p l i s h m e n t , and all t h e o t h e r attributes of a satisfying challenge that's only a hairbreadth m o r e doable t h a n it isn't. We lose
enthusiasm, o u r possession by t h e gods. T h e same d r u g doesn't
springboard us to t h e same heights. So we increase t h e dose, raise
t h e stakes, choose a m o r e dangerous climb (or t h e same one, b u t
solo or w i t h o u t oxygen), a t t e m p t an even m o r e devilish piano
sonata.
T h e spirit of deep play is spontaneity, discovery, and being
o p e n to n e w challenges. As a result, it allows o n e to happily develop n e w skills, test one's limits, stretch t h e m , and t h e n m a y b e
refine t h e skills and redefine t h e limits. W h a t is its biological p u r pose? N o t basic survival. It carries o n e across fear and u n c e r t a i n t y
t o w a r d t h e slippery edges of possibility, w h e r e o n e m u s t use o n e self fully and stretch h u m a n limits to achieve t h e remarkable. It
encourages discovery and g r o w t h . At first t h a t feels thrillingly
satisfying, b u t t e d i u m sets in and we're soon eager for m o r e , for

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readily swim with divers in t h e w a r m c u r r e n t s of t h e Bahamas.

A bottlenosed d o l p h i n leaped n e a r t h e boat, t h e n z o o m e d in

Research teams visit yearly to chronicle their history and habits.

and lined u p w i t h t h e bow, swinging back and forth like a surfer

Villagers in t h e sea, t h e dolphins form a c o m m u n i t y t h a t changes

finding t h e sweetest spot of a wave. Soon it was joined by a sec-

as couples m a t e , y o u n g are b o r n , t h e aged die, and n e w alliances

ond. Hobos hitching a ride, t h e d o l p h i n s w e r e n ' t m o v i n g their

are forged. T h e r e is n o t h i n g like t h e indelible thrill of m e e t i n g a

tails at all, b u t w e r e carried along at speed by t h e bow wave. T h e y

wild a n i m a l o n its o w n t e r m s in its o w n e l e m e n t , so I decided to

seemed to relish t h e sport. Beautiful as these dolphins were, w e

join a week-long trip. O n e m o r n i n g I flew to G r a n d Bahama,

w e r e o n t h e l o o k o u t for their cousins, t h e spotted ones.

took a cab to t h e West End, and boarded a t w o - m a s t e d s c h o o n e r

A C o n c o r d e sailed t h r o u g h t h e o c e a n o v e r h e a d , m a k i n g

along w i t h eight o t h e r researchers. We were h o p i n g to e n c o u n t e r

a d o u b l e boom! as it passed. W h a t is speed to t h e passengers o n

spotted dolphins often e n o u g h d u r i n g t h e week at sea to be able

t h a t supersonic, I w o n d e r e d , or to t h e dolphins surfing o n t h e

to identify and catalogue individuals.

b o w wave?

At six-thirty t h e following m o r n i n g , w e left t h e West End be-

"More dolphins!" t h e captain cried, p o i n t i n g west.

hind and cruised t o w a r d t h e Little B a h a m a Bank, a shallow area

As seven spotted dolphins h o m e d in o n t h e boat, we d o n n e d

t h a t spotted dolphins seem to prefer. After a few m i n u t e s , w e

snorkeling gear and j u m p e d into t h e w a t e r w i t h t h e m . A m o t h e r

hoisted t h e mainsail, from w h i c h t w o rows of s h o r t ties h u n g like

and baby a c c o m p a n i e d by a n o t h e r female arrived first, s w a m

fringe. T h e n w e sat o n benches or low deck chairs, finding shade

straight u p t o us and started playing. A d o l p h i n w e n t close t o o n e

u n d e r a large blue canopy stretched over t h e center of t h e boat

w o m a n , waited for h e r to follow, t h e n started t u r n i n g tight cir-

and attached by a web of ropes over t h e b o o m . T h e ocean p o u r e d

cles w i t h her. Like dervishes, d o l p h i n and h u m a n s p u n together.

blue black all a r o u n d us w i t h rose-gold s h i m m e r s from t h e sun.

Meanwhile, t w o o t h e r dolphins dived d o w n to t h e b o t t o m , about

Gradually, t h e water m e l l o w e d to navy blue, t h e n indigo, and fi-

forty feet below, and m a d e fast passes at m e . I t u r n e d to follow

nally azure, as we d r e w closer to t h e shallows. C l u m p s of t u r t l e

t h e m . Slowing, t h e y allowed m e to swim w i t h t h e m in forma-

grass looked like cloud shadows o n t h e floor. After t h r e e hours, a

tion, only inches away. By n o w t h e dolphins were all over us,

pale-blue ribbon appeared o n t h e h o r i z o n and we headed t o w a r d

swirling and diving, coasting close and wiggling away to see if

it. Flying fish leaped near t h e bow and h u r l e d themselves t h r o u g h

we'd follow. If I dived, t h e y dived, and t h e y often accompanied

t h e air a d o z e n yards at a time, like rocks skipping over t h e water.

m e back t o t h e surface, eye t o eye. At first it was startling h o w

Soon w e entered t h e df e a m t i m e of t h e aqua shallows. This

close t h e y came. We have an invisible n o - m a n ' s - l a n d a r o u n d o u r

area rises like a stage or p l a t f o r m in t h e ocean, w i t h o u t coral or

bodies t h a t o t h e r s d o n ' t e n t e r unless they m e a n to r o m a n c e or

large schools of fish. It appears to be a desert, a b a r r e n pan; b u t

h a r m us. To have a wild a n i m a l e n t e r t h a t d a n g e r o u s realm,

t h e r e are few places o n e a r t h w i t h o u t life of s o m e sort. Here t h e r e

k n o w i n g t h a t you could h u r t it or it could h u r t you, b u t t h a t nei-

is a bustling plant c o m m u n i t y , from simple blue-green algae to

t h e r of y o u will, p r o d u c e s i n s t a n t a n e o u s trust. After it h a p p e n s

m o r e complicated plants w i t h stems and leaves. P l a n k t o n , t h e

once, all fear vanishes. S o m e h o w , t h e y m a n a g e d to keep their

first step o f t h e food chain, thrives o n t h e banks, even t h o u g h t h e

slender distanceas little as t w o or t h r e e i n c h e s w i t h o u t a c t u -

waters look quite e m p t y t o t h e casual observer.

ally m a k i n g physical contact.

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But they were t o u c h i n g in a n o t h e r sense, w i t h their X-ray-

m y l o n g braid, I let it float w i t h i n eyeshot of a dolphin. In a flash,

like sonar, p a t t i n g o u r skin, reaching deep inside us t o o u r bones

t h e d o l p h i n grabbed t h e ribbon, t h e n tossed it up, c a u g h t it w i t h

and soft tissues. A t times, I c o u l d feel their s t r e a m i n g clicks. T h e y

a flipper, tossed it backward, kicked it w i t h its tail, c a u g h t it w i t h

seemed especially interested in o n e w o m a n ' s belly. C o u l d t h e y

t h e o t h e r flipper, s p u n a r o u n d , slid it over its nose, s w a m away

tell she was pregnant? Probably. I w o n d e r h o w t h e fetus showed

w i t h it, t h e n r e t u r n e d a m o m e n t later and let it fall t h r o u g h t h e

u p o n their sonar. C o u l d t h e y echolocate o u r s t o m a c h s and

w a t e r like a cast-off toy. A clear invitation. Taking a lungful of air,

k n o w w h a t w e ate for lunch? C o u l d t h e y d e t e c t b r o k e n b o n e s

I dived after t h e ribbon, grabbed it w i t h o n e h a n d , tossed it back t o

and tumors? Could they diagnose s o m e diseases in us and in t h e m -

m y fins and flicked it w i t h a clumsy kick. By this t i m e I needed t o

selves? Hard to say. Because we c o u l d n ' t t o u c h t h e m , they seemed

resurface t o breathe, so I let t h e ribbon drift d o w n , u n d u l a t i n g

aloof. But they were t o u c h i n g us constantly. For t h e m , t h e c o n -

like a piece of kelp. T h e d o l p h i n collected it at speed over t h e

tact was intimate, sensuous, if one-sided. W h a t d o d o l p h i n s feel

p y r a m i d of o n e flipper, let it slide back t o t h e tail, whisked it u p

w h e n t h e y echolocate o n e another?

and tossed it w i t h t h e o t h e r flipper. I k n e w t h e rules o f t h e game,

At least w e k n o w how d o l p h i n s echolocate: t h e y p r o d u c e n a r -

b u t I didn't have t h e b r e a t h t o play it. Even if I were a pearl diver

row streams of clicks ( i n t e r m i t t e n t bursts of s o u n d t h a t last less

a n d could hold m y b r e a t h for over five m i n u t e s , I w o u l d still have

t h a n a t h o u s a n d t h of a second each) by blowing air back and

been o u t of m y league. After a few m o r e of m y clumsy lunges for

forth t h r o u g h nasal passages. W h e n t h e s o u n d enters a fat-filled

t h e ribbon, t h e d o l p h i n s w a m away, t u r n i n g its attention to a

cavity in t h e head, it's focused into a single b e a m t h a t can be di-

h u m a n w h o could stay u n d e r w a t e r longer, a m a n taking still

rected w h e r e v e r t h e d o l p h i n wishes. First t h e d o l p h i n sends o u t a

p h o t o g r a p h s w i t h a flash camera.

general click, t h e n it refines t h e signal to identify t h e object,

W h e n at last t h e y veered off t o w a r d t h e horizon, w e gathered

w h i c h usually takes a b o u t six clicks, each o n e adjusting t h e pic-

u n d e r t h e blue c a n o p y t o fill in sketch sheets a n d record t h e de-

t u r e so subtly t h a t only chaos t h e o r y can explain it. At l i g h t n i n g

tails of each animal. These r o u g h sketches w o u l d be c o m p a r e d to

speed, t h e d o l p h i n sends o u t a signal, waits for t h e echo, decides

p h o t o s of k n o w n animals, and b e c o m e p a r t of t h e researchers'

w h a t pulse t o send next, waits for t h a t one's echo, and so on, until

catalogue. You'd t h i n k n i n e observers m i g h t supply t h e same

it detects t h e object and classifies it. S o m e likely categories are:

facts, b u t we didn't all agree o n w h a t we saw. Indeed, we s o u n d e d

edible, dangerous, sexy, i n a n i m a t e , useful, h u m a n , never-before-

like people c o m p a r i n g different versions of an accident. As I filled

e n c o u n t e r e d , n o n e o f t h e above.

o u t sketch sheets, I scanned m y m e m o r y for head, tail, and flank

For an h o u r , t h e dolphins played exhausting, puppyish chase-

markings. Living m a i n l y in t h e tropics, spotted dolphins have

a n d - t u m b l e games. Meanwhile, we tried t o study their markings.

long, n a r r o w beaks and can be heavily freckled. Like reverse fawns,

Each h a d a distinctive p a t t e r n of spots, tail notches, blazes. Often

t h e y o u n g begin life solid colored, usually gray, and only develop

t h e y darted to t h e sandy b o t t o m and found silvery sand dabs t h a t

w h i t e spots as t h e y age. By t h e t i m e they're elderly, they're

t h e y chased and ate. T h e y w e r e like hyperactive children, easily

covered in swirls of spots and splotches. They grow to about

bored, full of swerve and s p u n k . A n d w e w e r e their big b a t h t u b

eight feet long, have teeth, and are gregarious. T h e y love to play,

toys. Taking a striped, p i n k - a n d - p u r p l e ribbon from t h e e n d of

w h i c h t h e y do w i t h endless ingenuity and zest. Athletic, acrobatic

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swimmers, t h e y leap into aerial pirouettes, cartwheels, a n d w h a t

t h e r e is a willing gentleness and an awareness t h a t draws you in.

seem like a t t e m p t s to see h o w l o n g t h e y can h o v e r in t h e air.

O n e reason t h e plight o f t h e d o l p h i n touches us is because we fear

Over t h e n e x t week, w e e n c o u n t e r e d spotted dolphins every

t h e y m a y be self-aware, n o t just m e a t y animals b u t intelligent

day, t h e longest session lasting t h r e e h o u r s , so long in fact t h a t

life-forms. Suppose, like us, t h e y have i n n e r universes? Suppose

we were t h e first to give u p o u t of exhaustion, only to find t h e

t h e y are n o t like elk or s a l m o n , b u t animals w i t h a c u l t u r e of

dolphins racing after us and trying to t e m p t us back t o r o m p .

sorts, animals t h a t can judge us?

M o t h e r dolphins often b r o u g h t t h e sleek little surprise of their

D u r i n g t h e night, t h e winds kicked u p and four-foot seas

babies, w h i c h appeared perfect and u n m a r k e d by life. S o m e t i m e s

rolled in from t h e s o u t h w e s t . Sleeping o n deck, I awakened to

a baby w o u l d swim t u c k e d u n d e r n e a t h its m o t h e r , m a k i n g a

find t h a t I h a d slid off m y air mattress and m y legs w e r e sus-

crescent shape, so t h a t it looked as if t h e baby w e r e still being car-

p e n d e d over t h e side of t h e boat. Hands folded o n m y chest, I

ried inside. We grew t o k n o w t h e m as individuals, a rare privilege.

looked set for burial at sea. So I retreated below, wedged myself

In o u r travels across t h e banks, w e played w i t h d o l p h i n s n i n e

i n t o a n a r r o w b u n k , and tried to sleep, w h i c h was nearly impossi-

times. T h e m o s t frequent visitor was a particularly r a m b u n c t i o u s

ble given t h e l u r c h i n g and s h u d d e r i n g of t h e boat. My t h o u g h t s

five-year-old

female called "Nicky," and she b e c a m e a special fa-

t u r n e d frequently to t h e dolphins. W h e r e were they now? W h a t

vorite. Often, t h e dolphins arrived like a visitation. Long h o u r s of

w e r e t h e y doing in t h a t i n c o m p r e h e n s i b l e darkness of sea and

waiting, in a s l o w - m o t i o n of heat, glare, and water, were s u d -

greater darkness of night? I was stricken b o t h by o u r kinship w i t h

denly b r o k e n by t h e wild and delicious t u r m o i l of i n c o m i n g dol-

t h e m a n d by t h e h u g e rift between us evolution has created. They

phins. W h e n t h e y left, everything fell calm again and w e waited

were m i n d s in t h e ocean long before we were m i n d s o n t h e land.

once m o r e , at a low ebb, u n d e r t h e h a r r o w i n g s u n .

T h e y abide by r h y t h m s older t h a n we k n o w or can invent. We

O n o u r last day, after a particularly e x h a u s t i n g afternoon

w i t h Nicky and her friends, we g a t h e r e d o n t h e deck to w a t c h t h e

p r e t e n d w e can o u t s m a r t and ignore s u c h r h y t h m s , b u t in o u r

hearts we k n o w we're steered by t h e m .

sunset. These w e r e s o m e o f t h e m o s t d r a m a t i c m o m e n t s in each

In all t h e excitement of t h e week, people h a d leaped into

day, w h e n t h e soft aqua of t h e w a t e r fanned t h r o u g h r a i n b o w

o p e n ocean and s w u m w i t h schools of large bullet-shaped bar-

blues and was washed away in t h e m o l t e n lava o f t h e setting s u n .

racudas, seen a bull shark at touchable range, w a t c h e d lavender

Night fell heavily, in thick black drapes. Retreating to t h e galley

skates hiding o n t h e sandy floor b e n e a t h t h e m , and found frisky,

downstairs, we sat and talked a b o u t t h e week. Despite t h e mild

hospitable d o l p h i n s everywhere. T h a t m a d e t h e ocean itself seem

discomforts of ocean sailing, everyone was sad t h e voyage was

friendlier. L u m b e r i n g creatures of t h e earth, we find t h e ocean

over, and all felt n o u r i s h e d by a week of s u c h i n t i m a t e play w i t h

frightening. For m o s t people, it is a n o t h e r form of night. It seems

wild animals. I was especially surprised by h o w eager t h e d o l p h i n s

dark, endless, hostile, full of m o n s t e r s ready to separate us from

were to m a k e eye contact. Their wildness disappears o n o n e level

o u r cells. D o l p h i n s leap from t h a t w o r l d w i t h a M o n a Lisa smile.

and is e n h a n c e d o n a n o t h e r w h e n y o u stare straight into their

Playing recognizable games, t h e y reassure us t h a t t h e u n k n o w n

eyes, realizing t h a t these are wild creatures and t h e r e is s o m e -

m a y n o t be so hostile after all.

t h i n g special h a p p e n i n g inside their minds. At t h e very least,

T h r o u g h o u t history, h u m a n s have been enthralled by t h e

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d r e a m of s w i m m i n g and playing w i t h dolphins. T h e u r g e is an-

t h e y leap from t h e thick c h u r n i n g water into t h e sheer invisibility

cient and powerful, and often appears in religious m y t h s . It pos-

of air, t h e y seem i m m u n e to boundaries, magical in flight. They

sesses us, b u t why? Perhaps, in part, because it seems so m u c h like

t r a n s c e n d n a t u r a l prisons. T h e y bridge worlds. Dolphins are

flight. W h o h a s n ' t felt t h e e u p h o r i a of flying in dreams? T h e r e is a

often p o r t r a y e d as seers and savants w h o can peer into o u r h i d d e n

peace in weightlessness, a freedom t h a t comes from breaking t h e

depths, those dark e m o t i o n a l oceans inside o u r psyches. To some,

physical bonds t h a t hold us. We are beings inextricably a n c h o r e d

t h e y dwell in a w o r l d of crystals and spirit guides. To o t h e r s t h e y

to t h e g r o u n d , w h o walk t h e e a r t h and, in time, will b e c o m e p a r t

allow us a t r a n s m i g r a t i o n of souls. In c u l t u r e s as varied as Greek,

of it. In rare m o m e n t s , or in dreams, w e rise above those g r i m

Inuit, a n d t h a t of t h e Australian Aborigines, art and m y t h s h o w

restraints and joyously take flight. Perhaps, also, o n s o m e level,

d o l p h i n s saving people, guiding ships to safety, playing w i t h

flying recalls for us t h e perfect peace t h e e m b r y o feels afloat in

s w i m m e r s , having a special kinship w i t h h u m a n s . In Belem, o n

its m o t h e r ' s w o m b . All this echoes t h e weightlessness w e feel in

t h e A m a z o n , o n e can find river d o l p h i n vulvas and penises for

t h e sea, a victory over gravity symbolized by t h e r a p t u r e of dol-

sale in t h e v o o d o o m a r k e t . But o n m o s t o f t h e A m a z o n t h e p i n k

phins. We w a n t to regain t h a t b u o y a n c y for ourselves. T h e n , u n -

d o l p h i n s are p r o t e c t e d by elaborate m y t h s and n o o n e h u n t s

fettered, o u r m i n d s m i g h t r o a m m o r e freely. "To halt a n d h a n g

t h e m . Like t h e silkies of Scottish legend, dolphins are t h o u g h t to

attached to n o t h i n g , n o lines or air pipe t o t h e surface, was a

c o m e ashore a n d m a k e love w i t h w o m e n from t i m e t o time. So

dream," Jacques C o u s t e a u writes of his ocean dives. "At n i g h t

an illegitimate child is said t o be t h e child of a dolphin, and if you

I often h a d visions of flying by extending m y a r m s as wings. N o w

kill a d o l p h i n you m a y be killing y o u r o w n father. In Native

I flew w i t h o u t wings." We k n o w d o l p h i n s are intelligent, p e r h a p s

A m e r i c a n m y t h s , d o l p h i n s are messengers from t h e Great Spirit.

as intelligent as we h u m a n s . In Shark Bay in Western Australia,

In Arabian tales d o l p h i n s a c c o m p a n y t h e souls o f t h e dead to t h e

for example, dolphins have been seen carrying sponges o n t h e

u n d e r w o r l d . To early Christians, a d o l p h i n draped over a cross

tips of their snouts. Researchers t h i n k t h e d o l p h i n s are using t h e

symbolized Christ. T h e M i n o a n s revered t h e dolphin, proclaim-

sponges t o p r o t e c t their noses from spines and stings as t h e y h u n t

ing it an incarnation of their sea god, Poseidon. B o r n of Apollo

food o n t h e seabed, and dragging sponges in t h e sand to flush o u t

( t h e s u n ) and A p h r o d i t e (love), it c o n n e c t e d t h e blazing sky with

potential prey. And t h e r e is t h a t fixed smile. A l t h o u g h it's an

t h e fertile sea. In Greek, t h e words "dolphin" (delphis) and " w o m b "

anatomical accident, n o t a v o l u n t a r y expression, it m a k e s t h e m

(delphys) s o u n d alike. Say dolphin, and be r e m i n d e d o f t h e w o m b of

look as if t h e y m i g h t be having m o r e fun t h a n w e stodgy folk

t h e sea; say womb and be r e m i n d e d o f t h e spirit o f t h e d o l p h i n c o n -

above t h e waves. Small w o n d e r people credit t h e m w i t h brain-

n e c t i n g m a l e and female, heaven and earth. Greek and R o m a n

power, spirituality, and deep e m o t i o n s . Aristotle even claimed

m y t h o l o g y a b o u n d s w i t h gods and goddesses, sailors and o t h e r

t h a t dolphins speak like h u m a n s , and "can p r o n o u n c e vowels . . .

m o r t a l s , being t r a n s f o r m e d into dolphins. T h a n k s to Apollo, a

b u t have trouble w i t h consonants."

d o l p h i n even swims across t h e n i g h t sky as t h e constellation Del-

We s o m e t i m e s p i c t u r e dolphins as cherubic creatures, or benign space aliens, a N e w Age e m b l e m of o t h e r w o r l d l y innocence.

B u t they're also seen as powerful shamanistic envoys. Dazzling as

p h i n u s . Ovid tells t h e story of Arion, a s e v e n t h - c e n t u r y B.C. p o e t

a n d musician, b o r n o n t h e isle of Lesbos, w h o traveled t h r o u g h o u t t h e k i n g d o m , singing and playing t h e lyre. R e t u r n i n g h o m e

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from Sicily w i t h his earnings, h e was robbed by sailors w h o in-

, , v ^.j*C ^ S s s ^ C ^ v ^ ? ^ ^ ^ c * :r^vS?c" j S ^ > c j ^ & s c r ^ ^ ^ c r T ^ S

AS vi--^-*- .'/< *-yC.-^- <v_-s^"~ '/-'?** -/_rfri, ^/y *>r^.~*>y ^if**.
m

t e n d e d to kill h i m . Arion asked to sing o n e last song before h e

was m u r d e r e d , and permission was granted. His p o i g n a n t music
traveled across t h e waves, attracting a school of d o l p h i n s w h o
encircled t h e boat. Arion leapt overboard into their m i d s t and a

m
CHAPTER

H(

THREE

d o l p h i n carried h i m o n its back to shore. T h e r e h e r e p o r t e d t h e

thugs, w h o w e r e c a p t u r e d and p u n i s h e d . A great lover of p o e t r y
and music, Apollo was so pleased w i t h Arion's t r i u m p h t h a t h e

f t

placed t h e d o l p h i n and t h e lyre a m o n g t h e constellations.

Dolphins, r u n n i n g before t h e b o w of a ship, c o n n e c t t h e

S a c r c c L J ^ l o L C c s
m.

worlds of water and air so deftly t h a t t h e y seem at times t o be n o t

only spirit guides, b u t ambassadors w h o m i g h t s o m e h o w intercede between us and t h e rest of n a t u r e . Perhaps t h e r e is a n e e d in

m
Hi
There are no more deserts. There are no more is-

us to feel accepted by dolphins o n behalf of n a t u r e , a need for a

lands. Yet one still feels in need of them. To under-

spiritual experience, a need to reassure t h e m o u t of a sense of col-

stand this world, one must sometimes turn away

lective guilt t h a t w e m e a n t h e m well. Finding a way back i n t o an

from it; to serve men better, one must briefly hold

intimate relationship w i t h n a t u r e m a y well be t h e essence of o u r

them at a distance. But where can the necessary soli-

age-old d o l p h i n dreams. But w h a t are w e t o m a k e of d o l p h i n s

tude be found, the long breathing space in which the

and h u m a n s playing together, seemingly with equal abandon? Dol-

mind gathers its strength and takes stock of its

p h i n s choose t o play w i t h us w h e n t h e y find us in their waters,

courage?

b u t w e travel long distances and e n d u r e considerable h a r d s h i p

Albert Camus, Lyrical and Critical Essays

to m a k e t h a t c o m m u n i o n possible, to enjoy deep play w i t h wild

animals. O n r e t u r n i n g from s u c h pilgrimages, people speak like

The perfect stillness of the night was thrilled by a

mystics of t h e transcendence t h e y felt a n d t h e t r a n s f o r m i n g

more solemn silence. The darkness held a presence

beauty o f t h e ocean, w h i c h t h e y describe as a sacred realm.

that was all the more felt because it was not seen. I

could not any more have doubted that He was there

'Mi

than that I was. Indeed, I felt myself to be, if possible,

the less real ofthe two.

William James, The Varieties of Religious Experience

m
Hi
\)jk

x :
J~ r o m t i m e i m m e m o r i a l people have e m b a r k e d o n pil-

/ / 11 grimages as a way t o elevate t h e spirit. After a recent

mi
ifj*~~ -**y,*<^ yyz, _^y- .% . , / y . yl *+' --./, ,-^- -

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survey, t h e English Tourist Board was surprised t o discover t h a t

Regardless ofthe words, it seems the melodic contour ofthe

72 percent of all tourists said t h e y h a d c o m e to t h e U n i t e d King-

song describes the nature of the land over which the song

d o m t o visit shrines, churches, a n d o t h e r h o l y places. M o s t

passes. So, if the Lizard Man were dragging his heels across

tourists t h e world over are m a k i n g pilgrimages either to their

the salt-pans of Lake Eyre, you could expect a succession

h o m e l a n d s , or t o historic or religious sites s u c h as t h e Greek t e m -

of long flats, like Chopin's "Funeral March." If he were skip-

ple of Delphi.

ping up and down the MacDonnell escarpments, you'd have

Built in 1400 B.C., Delphi h o u s e d t h e Pythian oracle, a priestess w h o w e n t into trance states and foretold t h e f u t u r e u s u a l l y
in cryptic p r o n o u n c e m e n t s . People from m a n y nations

a series of arpeggios and glissandos, like Liszt's "Hungarian

Rhapsodies."

flock

Certain phrases, certain combinations of musical notes,

t h e r e t o this day, t h o u g h paradoxically w h a t t h e y wish to learn is

are thought to describe the action of the Ancestor's feet. . . .

n o t about t h e future b u t a b o u t t h e past. Did t h e Pythian oracle

An expert songman, by listening to the order of succes-

really have visions? T h e t e m p l e was located over an active geo-

sion, would count how many times his hero crossed a river,

logical fault in t h e earth, from w h i c h p e t r o c h e m i c a l

or scaled a ridgeand be able to calculate where, and how

fumes

seeped. According to. historic accounts, t h e oracle i n h a l e d this

far along, a Songline he was.

" p l e n u m , " a powerful a n d mysterious force from w h i c h she d r e w

t h e gift of prophecy. O n every c o n t i n e n t o n e can find equally

To t h e Aborigines, geography is m e m o r y . Every mile sings, every

magical sites, usually a c c o m p a n i e d by elaborate m y t h and ritual.

m o u n t a i n speaks of their ancestors' journeys. N o t h i n g is irrele-

Half a million people each year pilgrimage t o t h e Australian

vant, n o t h i n g is lost to d e a t h . All things p a r t a k e of life's spirit

outback to behold Ayers Rock, a massive d o m e of red sandstone

and vitality, t h e land is vigorously alive, u n s e e n forces

rising o u t of t h e Australian desert, a site of universal sacredness

a n d all have a special site (or D r e a m i n g Place) t h a t is a spiritual

to t h e Aborigines, w h o call it U l u r u . Intimately c o n n e c t e d to

h o m e for t h e m a n d their ancestors. T h e following plea for land

their land, every inch of w h i c h is holy, symbolic, and vibrating

rights, by G u l a w a r r w u y Y u n u p i n g u and Silas Roberts, c h a i r m e n

w i t h m y t h , t h e Aborigines inhabit " t h e D r e a m i n g , " a complexly

o f t h e N o r t h e r n Land Council, offers a beautiful definition o f t h e

imagined universe t h a t inspires and embraces t h e m . As t h e y

Dreaming:

flourish,

c o n d u c t t h e n o r m a l affairs of their lives, t h e y continually travel

t h r o u g h t h a t tightly w o v e n world of knowledge, perception,

Aborigines have a special connection with everything that is

m o r a l code, and recollection, following a m a z e of invisible roads,

natural. Aborigines see themselves as part of nature. We see

or Songlines. Closest p e r h a p s to t h e way in w h i c h birdsong m a p s

all things natural as part of us. All things on earth we see as

o u t a territory, t h e Songlines are ancient a n d magical, b u t t h e y

part human. This is told through the idea of the dreaming. By

are also precise m a p references. T h e c o n t i n e n t is crisscrossed by

dreaming we mean the belief that long ago, these creatures

a labyrinth of Songlines, and t h e Aboriginals can sing their way

started h u m a n society; they made all natural things and

along t h e m . Bruce C h a t w i n describes t h e process in The Songlines:

put them in a special place. These dreaming creatures are

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connected to special places and special roads or tracks or

you have broken down our backbone, taken away my arts,

paths. In many cases the great creatures changed themselves

history and foundation. You have left me with nothing.

53

into sites where their spirits stayed.

My people believe this and I believe this. Nothing anyr

W h a t a s t a t e m e n t of faith t h a t is, passionately felt and undeniably

body says to me will change my belief in this. This is my story

candid. H o w does o n e begin t o d e s c r i b e ^ l e t alone legitimize:

as it is the story of every true Aborigine.

t h e core of one's spirituality? Intricately stitched into a landscape

These creatures, these great creatures, are just as much

every particle of w h i c h is holy, t h e Aborigines regard Ayers Rock

alive today as they were in the beginning. They are everlast-

as t h e m o s t hallowed spot of all. So it's n o surprise t h a t t h e gov-

ing and will never die. They are always part of the land and

e r n m e n t t u r n i n g their land into a tourist m e c c a has led to battle.

nature as we are. We cannot change nor can they. Our con-

" H o w can Mr. C o u r t say t h a t his G o v e r n m e n t o w n s this c o u n -

nection to all things natural is spiritual. We worship spiritual

try?" Fred Forbes, c h a i r m a n o f t h e Ngaanyatjara Council argued

sites today. We have songs and dances for those sites and we

in 1980. "It belongs t o t h e D r e a m i n g and n o t to h i m . Does Mr.

never approach [them] without preparing ourselves prop-

C o u r t also say t h a t h e o w n s t h e m o o n , and t h e s u n and t h e sky?"

erly. When the great creatures moved across the land, they

To a c c o m m o d a t e and p r o t e c t t h e tourists, t h e Australian

made small groups of people like me in each area. These peo-

g o v e r n m e n t has installed handrails a n d fences at Ayers Rock, an

ple were given jobs to do but I cannot go any further than

i m p r o v e m e n t t h a t t h e Aborigines still find disrespectful, arguing

that here.

t h a t w h i t e c h u r c h m e m b e r s a t t e n d their o w n c h u r c h e s w i t h rev-

It is true that people who belong to a particular area are

really part of that area and if that area is destroyed they are

erence a n d w o u l d n e v e r climb over t h e sides and roofs of their

h o l y buildings.

also destroyed. In my travels throughout Australia, I have

Tourists flock t o S t o n e h e n g e , too, t h o u g h only ghosts re-

met many Aborigines from other parts who have lost their

m a i n t o chide t h e profane visitor. Most likely this famous circle of

culture. They have always lost their land and by losing their

m o n o l i t h i c stones, dragged from distant quarries, served as a cal-

land they have lost part of themselves.

e n d a r of sorts, catching t h e m o o n and solstice s u n in its crevices.

I think of land as the history of my nation. It tells of how

So m a n y people pilgrimage t o S t o n e h e n g e each year t h a t t h e

we came into being and what system we must live. My great

British g o v e r n m e n t has h a d t o fence it off, lest people destroy it

ancestors who lived in the times of history planned every-

by chipping away at t h e stones for souvenirs. Plans are u n d e r way

thing that we practise now. The law of history says that we

for t h e building of a concrete replica, and for t h e original to be

must not take land, fight over land, steal land, give land, and

r e t u r n e d t o its sacred status and declared off-limits. Because it is

so on. My land is mine only because I came in spirit from that

sacred, w e respect it and are eager t o keep it intact. We feel t h a t

land and so did my ancestors ofthe same l a n d . . . .

w a y instinctively a b o u t t h e sacred, despite t h e fact t h a t w e d o n ' t

My land is my foundation. I stand, live and perform as

k n o w t h e details of t h e religion t h a t inspired either S t o n e h e n g e

long as I have something firm and hard to stand on. Without

or m a n y o t h e r ancient sites, or w h a t exactly was considered holy.

land . . . we will be the lowest people in the world, because

T h a t t h e place once was sacred to m a n y is e n o u g h to stir us.

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T h e same is t r u e at t h e Lascaux cave in France, w h e r e a laser-

complex, subtle, keenly observed, full of perspective and sculp-

perfect replica stands near t h e original grotto, c o m p l e t e w i t h

t u r a l techniques t h a t w e r e n o t formally "discovered" until t h e

paintings created w i t h duplicates o f t h e s a m e p i g m e n t s and t e c h -

Renaissance. Present-day visitors stand and quietly regard t h e

niques used by t h e ancients. A l t h o u g h they're magnificent r e p r o -

drawings as if in a m u s e u m . B u t 35,000 years ago initiates probably

ductions, well w o r t h a visit, I longed to see t h e original cave

entered t h e cave w i t h a priest or elder. In t h e flickering light of

w h e r e about t h i r t y t h o u s a n d years ago s o m e t h i n g startling t o o k

t h e oil lamps, t h e brightly colored animals w o u l d have seemed

p l a c e a r t magic, probably a c c o m p a n i e d by fearsome w o r s h i p

alive, galloping in a frenzy across t h e walls. People m a y have r u n

and initiation rites. In 1992,1 was lucky e n o u g h to e n t e r t h e origi-

t h r o u g h t h e firelit caves, swept u p in a whirlwind of wild animals

nal cave, an unforgettable and mystical experience.

a n d dancing shadows. T h e animals w o u l d have l o o m e d at t h e

T h e C r o - M a g n o n cave painters w e r e a b o u t o u r size, and we

k n o w t h e y traveled or h a d contact w i t h n o m a d i c tribes because

viewers: t h e hollows and hills of o n e rock form t h e belly and

r u m p of a p r e g n a n t m a r e and t h e shoulders of an aurochs.

shells from t h e M e d i t e r r a n e a n have been found at Lascaux. T h e y

Were t h e paintings d o n e o n o n e n i g h t or over centuries? By

didn't live in t h e caves, b u t in rock shelters and h u t s n e a r water.

o n e artist or many? Nearly 140 red sandstone lamps were found;

People created art before t h e y did, b u t m a i n l y as b o d y decora-

also wicks m a d e from j u n i p e r trees and reindeer oil for fuel. T h e

tion. For h u m a n s , at least, art is deliberate, compulsive, and a n -

painters used their bare h a n d s to apply paint t o large areas, m a n -

cient. O u r earliest ancestors felt t h e n e e d to create art. T h r o u g h

ganese sticks for fine details, and moss for colors. We find t h e

it, t h e y t o u c h e d t h e soul of creation. It was a sacred act, a form of

paintings powerful, b u t t h e C r o - M a g n o n artists m a y n o t have

magic. They used it to worship, teach, decorate i m p o r t a n t tools;

h a d o u r conception of art. Their paintings w e r e practical, and

t h e y m a d e representations of their gods and of their world. O n e

t h e y influenced t h e future of t h e tribe. Both magical and func-

day, s o m e o n e m u s t have unveiled a daring idea: t o m o v e from

tional, t h e y m a y also have been beautiful if t h e y w e r e t h o u g h t to

decorating t h e self to decorating surfaces of t h e world. Did t h a t

work; b u t o u r response to their beauty carries n o t h i n g of t h e

scare or fascinate people? Did it catch o n right away, or take p e r -

m i x t u r e of anxiety, awe, dread, and h o p e they probably aroused

suasion? T h e caves w e r e holy places, places in w h i c h t o paint

in t h e C r o - M a g n o n s . A n d w h a t o f t h e painters? Did they paint in

visions and learn courage. These dimly lit, fetid tabernacles filled

a trance state? Did only s h a m a n s paint? S o m e paintings are signed

w i t h dancing shadows, portraits of m y t h i c beasts, and terrifying

w i t h t h e o u t l i n e of a h u m a n h a n d m i s s i n g finger joints. Did

mazes in w h i c h to get lost, e n s u r e d a h e a r t - p o u n d i n g test of

t h e y sacrifice these t o e n s u r e future food and well-being, as s o m e

nerve. Few people w o u l d have seen t h e paintings, and t h e n only

anthropologists suspect?

by climbing d o w n rocks, crawling t h r o u g h holes, and fearfully

confronting wild spirits by torchlight.

M o v i n g backward t h r o u g h time, w e t e n d to picture t h e

C r o - M a g n o n s as cruder, slightly d u m b e r versions of ourselves.

Oddly e n o u g h , t h e r e are n o reindeer painted o n t h e walls,

True, w e share their e m o t i o n s and instincts, b u t they were

yet reindeer is w h a t t h e painters m a i n l y h u n t e d . T h e animals

probably u n l i k e us in vital ways, probably w i t h o u t o u r self-

t h e y did paintbison, horses, a u n i c o r n , wild c a t t l e w e r e n o t

i n t e r r o g a t i n g m e n t a l stew. Indeed, t h e y m a y have h a d little sense

like t h e reindeer, b u t in s o m e way sacred. T h e drawings w e r e

of self in their dealings w i t h t h e outside world. Paradoxically,

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that's w h a t w e n o w l o n g for, to "lose ourselves" in o u r work,

stairs, I felt c o n n e c t e d t o all t h e n o m a d s and navigators w h o ever

sports, a r t t o transcend and escape from t h e clamorings o f t h e

lived, t h e explorers, t h e pilgrims, t h e lost wayfarers desperately

self, a n d from t h a t infernal prediction m a c h i n e , t h e brain. D e e p

trying t o find their way h o m e .

play leads us away from t h a t labyrinth of fire.

It's ironic t h a t a l t h o u g h Lascaux, Ayers Rock, and Stone-

I r e m e m b e r climbing u p t h e stairs from t h e Lascaux cave at

h e n g e w e r e built for t h e eyes of a faithful few, they've been visited

night, and seeing distant lampposts, car lights, lights in farm-

by profane millions. However, m o s t of t h e world's sacred places

h o u s e windows, lights in t h e village. A large plane, flying l o w

are visited n o t by tourists b u t by ardent believers. In t h e Black

overhead w i t h w i n d o w s lit, looked like a dining car in a painting

Hills of S o u t h Dakota, Lakota Indians g a t h e r in a sacred m e a d o w

by Hopper. Soon it w o u l d float above t h e constellations of Paris

each s u m m e r to celebrate Okislataya wowahwala, w h i c h translates as

a n d land at Orly airport. M o r e ancient constellations glittered

" w e l c o m i n g back all life in peace." For t h e C h u m a s h Indians, t h e

overhead. A l t h o u g h t h e y w e r e r a n d o m l y spaced balls of light,

rugged hills of Point Conception, n o r t h of Santa Barbara, is t h e

people t h r o u g h o u t t h e w o r l d h a d c o n n e c t e d t h e m i n t o shapes.

w e s t e r n gate t h r o u g h w h i c h souls travel between e a r t h and

O u r eyes crave p a t t e r n , w e search for t h e familiar. Quickly I

heaven. Even in t h e earliest writings of o u r kind, say in t h e 5,000-

found t h e N o r t h Star, w h i c h t h e Chinese called " t h e great r u l e r

year-old S u m e r i a n epic, Gilgamesh, w e find t h e h e r o e n c o u n t e r i n g

of Heaven," in t h e constellation Capricorn. T h e Aztecs p i c t u r e d

a sacred stand of cedar trees. O u r world is well stocked w i t h

Capricorn as a whale, t h e East Indians t h o u g h t it was an antelope,

sacred places: Mecca, Delphi, Bighorn Medicine Wheel, M o u n t

t h e Greeks saw it as " t h e gate of t h e gods," and t h e Assyrians

Arafat, Lascaux, Jerusalem, M o u n t Sinai, t h e Ganges River, M a c h u

as a "goatfish." O u r eyes are great explainers, so w e have m a d e

Picchu, Niagara Falls, Lourdes, Great Serpent M o u n d , M o u n t Olym-

a m a p of t h e sky w i t h w h i c h t o navigate. N o t only h u m a n s

pus, S t o n e h e n g e , t h e G r e a t Pyramids, M o u n t Fuji, Mesa Verde,

o t h e r animals navigate by t h e stars, too. Charles Walcott at C o r -

C a n y o n de Chelly, t o n a m e o n l y a few. M a n y of t h e m w e r e built

nell's O r n i t h o l o g y Laboratory once staged an e x p e r i m e n t w i t h

o n high, beyond ordinary life, and o u t of m o s t people's reach.

h o m i n g pigeons in a p l a n e t a r i u m , p r o v i n g t h a t t h e y guide by

Climbing t o t h o s e lofty playgrounds, one's perspective and even

t h e stars. C o l u m b u s steered by t h e stars. So did t h e Polynesians,

one's physiology change. Self-exile, a c c o m p a n i e d by blood pres-

w h o explored vast reaches of t h e S o u t h Pacific. Just as different

sure and b r e a t h i n g stresses, and a different visual field, in novel

c u l t u r e s have c o n n e c t e d t h e stars i n t o different constellations,

terrain, m a y well awaken insights or inspire visions.

they've seen their o w n private d r a m a s in t h e Milky Way. W h e n

Sacred places h a v e t r a d i t i o n a l l y b e e n a t o p m o u n d s a n d

they stared into t h e u p s i d e - d o w n well of deep space, t h e y saw

m o u n t a i n s , as close to heaven as possible. M o u n t a i n s are sym-

a s t r a n g e w h i t e b l u r a n d explained it in m a n y different ways.

bols, reminders, visual m n e m o n i c s for t h e transcendental. Hard

T h e Kalahari b u s h m e n called it " t h e b a c k b o n e of n i g h t . " To

as it is to h o l d an abstraction in t h e m i n d , a m o u n t a i n can float in

t h e Swedes, it was " t h e w i n t e r street" leading to heaven. To t h e

t h e mind's eye. We are s u c h physical beings, swathed in o u r

Hebridean islanders, " t h e p a t h w a y of t h e secret people." To

senses, t h a t w e find it hard n o t to sense, n o t t o brood, n o t to

t h e Patagonians, obsessed w i t h their flightless birds, " t h e w h i t e

extrapolate, n o t to analyze, n o t to cling t o s o m e thing w h e n

p a m p a s w h e r e ghosts h u n t rheas." As I stood atop t h e Lascaux

w e t h i n k . N o r w o u l d w e wish to, since t h e only real s t o p t o o u r

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sensing is death. Yet h o w do w e sense t h e u n s e e n , powerful forces

by ghosts. At night, t h e ghosts spoke; o n e could hear their jan-

a r o u n d us? All h u m a n s have n e e d e d t o personalize religion w i t h

gled voices. In 1834, a writer r e p o r t e d t h a t t h e rock was m a d e of

h u m a n faces, w i t h buildings, objects, a n d sacred locales, t h e lofti-

p l a t i n u m a n d held in fearful v e n e r a t i o n by t h e Indians. Accord-

est of w h i c h b y definitionhave been m o u n t a i n s . In t h i r t e e n t h -

ing to legend, t h e last brave warriors of a now-extinct tribe died at

c e n t u r y Japan, t h e Z e n m a s t e r D o g e n i n s t r u c t e d his s t u d e n t s

its base. A chief is supposed t o have sacrificed his d a u g h t e r o n o n e

t h a t "from t i m e i m m e m o r i a l t h e m o u n t a i n s have been t h e

of t h e boulders to gain favor w i t h t h e gods, w h o killed h i m in-

dwelling place of t h e great sages; wise m e n and sages have all

stead and forced his ghost to walk t h e rock for e t e r n i t y t h i s ex-

m a d e t h e m o u n t a i n s their o w n chambers, their o w n body a n d

plains t h e footprintlike impressions in t h e granite. Locals still tell

m i n d . " Useful as O l y m p u s m a y have been as a m e t a p h o r for t r a n -

of a lost Spanish silver m i n e s o m e w h e r e near t h e rock. If a rain-

scendence, t h e Greeks didn't believe their gods actually lived o n

b o w p a t h forms over t h e rock, it is said t o lead t o treasure. Long

t h a t physical m o u n t a i n ; t h e y regarded it as a symbol o f t h e heav-

ago, Indians w o u l d climb to t h e s u m m i t in daylight, and leave of-

enly O l y m p u s , a height beyond Earth's pinnacles, from w h i c h

ferings to t h e gods. B u t in t h e 1880s and 1890s local settlers also

gods looked u p o n h u m a n events w i t h m o r e perspective t h a n

held c h u r c h services there, inspired by St. M a t t h e w ' s " U p o n this

h u m a n s ever could. T h a n k s to all t h e polite fictions of subjectiv-

rock I will build m y c h u r c h . "

ity, it's impossible for us t o observe ourselves w i t h a n y t h i n g like

W h e n a friend a n d I climbed E n c h a n t e d Rock last spring, in

perspective, so w e imagine a tribe of gods and goddesses t h a t

daylight and 97 heat, I didn't h e a r ancestral chantings. N o r

can. "The intellect is characterized," philosopher H e n r i Bergson

w o u l d I, since t h e park closed at nightfall. B u t I k n e w w h e r e t h e

writes, "by a n a t u r a l inability to k n o w life." Thus, for s o m e forms

legendary sounds c a m e from: after soaking tip heat d u r i n g t h e

of k n o w i n g , w e sidestep t h e rational. To t h e Pueblo people of

day, t h e granite groans and crackles as it cools. Stress s o u n d s

N o r t h America, t h e m o u n t a i n s h o l d t h e sky u p o n their s h o u l -

t h e C o m a n c h e s w e r e r i g h t a b o u t t h a t b u t geological stress, n o t

ders, and divide t h e world into regions of mystery. T h e clouds are

h u m a n . A n o t h e r wonderful t h i n g about life o n Earth: it's persis-

their auras. T h e Apaches believe s u p e r n a t u r a l folk live in t h e

tent. Black, teal, gray, and green lichens h a d covered s o m e faces

m o u n t a i n s , w h i c h provide powers t o t h e s h a m a n s and p r o t e c -

of t h e bare rock m o u n d , and in u n e x p e c t e d spots a vernal p o o l

tion t o t h e tribe. In m a n y Native A m e r i c a n tribes, great teachers

gave succor to brilliant yellow flowers (coreopsis), b l o o m i n g cac-

are t h o u g h t t o live in t h e m o u n t a i n s , a n d before m e d i c i n e m e n

t u s a n d yucca, grasses, moss, algae, insects, a n d t r a n s p a r e n t fairy

visit t h e m o n d r e a m j o u r n e y s t h e y m u s t spend a n i g h t purifying

s h r i m p . A u n i q u e species, t h e rock quillwort, h o m e s t e a d e d t h e

themselves w i t h prayer and ritual.

small, t e m p o r a r y pools. At t h e s u m m i t , w h e r e t h e s u n s t u n g and

We n e e d h o l y places, k e p t secluded, s p r u n g loose from

t h e h o t wind blew, a large live-oak tree h a d struck root and found

reality, separated from life's routines. S o m e t i m e s a local spot will

e n o u g h scant dirt in w h i c h to grow. H o w did t h e dirt get there, so

do, o n e sanctified by m e m o r y or c e r e m o n y . O t h e r times, we're

h i g h u p , o n bald rock, a n d so exposed? It m u s t have a c c u m u l a t e d

d r a w n to s o m e o n e else's idea of t h e sacred, s u c h as E n c h a n t e d

grain by grain, over t h o u s a n d s of years. Shallow bowls catch rain-

Rock, n e a r Fredericksburg, Texas, a s m o o t h pate of s h i m m e r y

water. In those m i n u t e and fragile gardens, even small hickory

granite half a mile high, w h i c h t h e C o m a n c h e s t h o u g h t favored

trees g r o w and p r o d u c e a crop of n u t s . Over a h u n d r e d species of

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plants m a n a g e to grow o n t h e granite k n o b , attracting lizards,

kind of feldspar), glassy gray quartz, a n d flecks of black mica. A

snakes, insects, and birds. So E n c h a n t e d Rock has b e c o m e a rare

billion years ago, t h e d o m e was m o l t e n m a g m a seven miles

ecosystem.

deep blasting to t h e surface. W h o can say w h a t force fields it has

W a r m winds from t h e G u l f of Mexico swerve u p w a r d w h e n

created?

they hit t h e rock, p r o d u c i n g vigorous updrafts t h a t v u l t u r e s like

A spot m a y b e c o m e holy because of its antiquity or history of

t o ride, over a n d over, just for fun. S o m e fundamentalists m i g h t

miracles. In t h e w i n d s w e p t wilds of Patagonia stands a s h r i n e of

argue t h a t t h e v u l t u r e s aren't really playing, b u t are engaged in

Coca-Cola bottles. Dedicated to M a r y Magdalen, it celebrates a

a u t o m a t i c behavior provoked by various stimuli. T h e same folk

t i m e before cars, w h e n a weary traveler, dying of thirst, found

w o u l d argue t h a t , w h e n d o l p h i n s leap a n d splash, w h a t they're

t h e r e a discarded Coca-Cola bottle filled w i t h e n o u g h water to

really doing is dislodging parasites. T h e crows d r o p p i n g pebbles

save h e r life. N o w t h e p a t h has b e c o m e a seldom-used road for

o n t o a skylight, or playing log-rolling games, w o u l d be h a r d e r for

cars, and drivers stop to say a prayer and leave a bottle of water as

t h e m t o explain, b u t I ' m sure they'd find a way. O n e m i g h t n o t

a n offering.

t h i n k of v u l t u r e s as fun-loving creatures, b u t t h e y probably

M a n y sacred places are houses of worship: churches, t e m -

enjoy a free ride o n a t h e r m a l as m u c h as d o l p h i n s enjoy riding

ples, or shrines. S o m e are spots generally r e n o w n e d for their

t h e bow-wave of a boat. For a winged creature, flapping is r o u t i n e

spiritual intensity, sites said t o focus cosmic powers; they m a y be

and contributes t o m u c h of its h a r d w o r k . I'll bet m o s t animals

ancient astronomical observatories s u c h as S t o n e h e n g e or C h a c o

find effortlessness enjoyable, especially if it's novel a n d offers in-

C a n y o n . Still o t h e r s are burial sites, s u c h as t h e Great Pyramids.

teresting sensations. We certainly do. B u t w e also enjoy e x t r e m e

Flowers found buried w i t h C r o - M a g n o n dead 35,000 years ago

physical effort, such as t h e balancing act of safely climbing n a k e d

suggest funeral rites a m o n g early hominids. In India, despite t h e

stone.

h e a l t h hazard, t h e Ganges River is a holy repository o f t h e ashes

E n c h a n t e d Rock itself is a billion years old, p a r t of t h e pri-

of t h e dead. T h e r e are also sacred springs and meadows, w h e r e

m o r d i a l spine o f t h e p l a n e t . We stood awhile at t h e s u m m i t , look-

sunrise or t h e solstice m a y be celebrated, sacred m o u n t a i n s and

ing o u t over t h e ranchlands and scrub, historic Fredericksburg

rocks for receiving d r e a m s or offering sacrifices. T h e r e are h o t

eighteen miles to t h e s o u t h , and t h e flat limestone rocks of t h e

springs, sweat lodges, baptismal waters, and baths w h e r e o n e p e r -

Edwards Plateau. We c o u l d see t h e Willow City Loop, a n d t h e

forms rituals of cleansing and renewal. T h e r e are sacred p e t r o -

hilly, sinuous back road thick w i t h bluebonnets, wild poppies,

glyphs, carvings of t h e White Mare, stone phalluses, and o t h e r

and o t h e r wildflowers w h e r e w e h a d cycled earlier. It offered a

fertility sites. T h e r e are waterfalls and groves. T h e r e are regions,

spacious view o f t h e Texas hill country, a n d heaven k n o w s it h a d

like Bear B u t t e in t h e Black Hills of S o u t h Dakota, w h i c h are vis-

been a h e a r t - p o u n d i n g climb. Does s u c h a large m o u n d of granite

ited for vision quests. T h e r e are m a m m o t h sacred places, s o m e -

straddle faults and contain e l e c t r o m a g n e t i c lines? G r a n i t e c o n -

times sprawling across h u n d r e d s of miles, w h o s e p a t t e r n can only

sists of crystals, and t h e m o u n d was heavily speckled w i t h p i n k

be seen from t h e air. T h e b e s t - k n o w n of these are t h e Peruvian

microcline (a kind of feldspar), chalky w h i t e oligoclase ( a n o t h e r

Nazca lines, w h i c h stretch for dozens of miles, depicting spiders,

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snakes, and miscellaneous o t h e r animals. (Erich v o n D a n i k e n

religions w e r e founded. It is an i n n a t e response to t h e s i m u l t a n e -

claimed they were d r a w n for t h e pleasure of godlike extraterres-

ously mysterious, startling, i m m e n s e , overpowering, aweful, and

trials w h o w e r e visiting t h e planet.) T h e G r e a t Serpent M o u n d , in

majestic universe. As O t t o r e m i n d s us,

Ohio, is t h e largest serpent effigy in t h e world. Its e a r t h e n coils

stretch from o p e n m o u t h at o n e end to tail at t h e other, and

[t]he feeling of it may at times come sweeping like a gentle

s o m e anthropologists believe it m a y refer to solar eclipses. It's n o t

tide, pervading the mind with a tranquil mood of deepest

a burial site, and its p a t t e r n isn't a p p a r e n t from t h e g r o u n d . T h e

worship. It may pass over into a more set and lasting attitude

same is t r u e of m a n y huge, sprawling 10,000-year-old e a r t h w o r k s

ofthe soul, continuing as it were, thrillingly vibrant and reso-

following t h e C o l o r a d o River. Why ancient h u m a n s built t h e m

nant, until at last it dies away and the soul resumes its "pro-

w e can only guess. H u m a n s look u p t o their gods, so t h e colossal

fane," non-religious mood of everyday experience. It may

e a r t h w o r k s were u n d o u b t e d l y c o n s t r u c t e d over m a n y years w i t h

burst in sudden eruption up from the depths ofthe soul with

a god's-eye view in m i n d . W h e n w e were little, up was t h e w o r l d of

spasms and convulsions, or lead to the strangest excitements,

parents, those powerful beings w h o w a r n e d , praised, t a u g h t , fed,

to intoxicated frenzy, to transport, and to ecstasy. It has its

and judged us. Small w o n d e r w e t h i n k gods live o n m o u n t a i n -

wild and demonic forms and can sink to an almost grisly hor-

tops or in t h e sky. Most tribes m y t h o l o g i z e t h e sun, m o o n , a n d

ror and shuddering. It has its crude, barbaric antecedents and

stars. Indeed, C h e r o k e e m y t h says their tribe originated in t h e

early manifestations, and again it may be developed into

constellation Pleiades.

something beautiful and pure and glorious. It may become

T h e r e are also n a t u r a l wonders, sacred because t h e y m a g n e -

the hushed, trembling, and speechless humility of the crea-

tize people, w r e n c h from t h e m p r o f o u n d feelings of awe and

ture in the presence ofwhom or what? In the presence of

fright. W h a t is sacred goes far beyond t h e religious. R u d o l f O t t o

that which is a mystery inexpressible and above all creatures.

l a m e n t s t h a t w e n o w use t h e w o r d s "holy" and "sacred" in an e n tirely different way from o u r ancestors. For us, those words m e a n

T h e extraordinariness of t h e sacred, t h e way in w h i c h it swerves

s o m e t h i n g like "good" or "virtuous," i m p l y i n g religiosity and a

powerfully away from o r d i n a r y life, is p a r t of its e n c h a n t m e n t .

m o r a l code. O t t o argues t h a t , originally, w h a t was t r u l y sacred

W h e r e s h o u l d o n e go to find t h e sacred manifesting itself? Re-

contained darkness as well as light, fear as well as w o n d e r , and was

m o t e places d o admirably. Naturalist J o h n M u i r often describes

n o t religious, b u t t h e powerful e m a n a t i o n o n e experiences at spe-

his ecstasies in t h e wilderness, including o n e day in Yosemite

cial sites. Such places trigger in us an altered state of awareness, a

w h e n h e climbed a tree in a t h u n d e r s t o r m and was thrilled t o be

shift in consciousness to a p r o f o u n d sense of spirituality, excita-

flung a r o u n d t h e sky:

tion, and e m o t i o n a l intensity. One's senses w o r k better; t h e w o r l d

looks clearer, crisper, m o r e detailed. O n e feels p a r t of a larger

Never before did I enjoy so noble an exhilaration of motion.

whole. Deep play happens. Sacred places seem to c a t a p u l t people

The slender tops fairly flapped and swished in the passionate

i n t o this pedestal state. T h e y awaken a sense of oneself in t h e u n i -

torrent, bending and swirling backward and forward, round

verse, t h e y kindle ecstasy. T h e idea o f t h e h o l y existed l o n g before

and round, tracing indescribable combinations of vertical and

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horizontal curves, while I clung with muscles firm braced,

As J u n g found, s o m e landscapes fill us w i t h such awe t h a t t h e y in-

like a bobolink on a reed.

stinctively t o u c h a t r a n s c e n d e n t nerve. For example, t h e r e is a

n a t u r a l w o n d e r t h a t draws millions of pilgrims every year and

T h e painter J.M.W. T u r n e r also liked to be swallowed u p by t h e

fills t h e m all w i t h similar e m o t i o n s r e g a r d l e s s of c u l t u r e , lan-

e l e m e n t s h e w o u l d strap himself t o t h e m a s t of a boat and be

guage, or religious upbringing. I've been d r a w n to t h a t n a t u r a l

t r a n s p o r t e d i n t o t h e h e a r t of a s t o r m at sea, w h i c h h e w o u l d later

w o n d e r , too, a n d felt t h e s a m e flood of awe, reverence, and

paint in t u m u l t u o u s heavings and sobbings of color.

g r a n d e u r . O n e day, I decide t o fly deep into its mazes.

Once, o n a train t h r o u g h Siberia, Laurens van der Post

looked o u t t h e w i n d o w at t h e h u g e expanse of flat c o u n t r y and
endless sky. "I t h o u g h t I h a d never been t o any place w i t h so

N o t h i n g prepares you for t h e visual thrill of sailing over t h e rim,

m u c h sky and space a r o u n d it," h e wrote, and h e was especially

m o v i n g s u d d e n l y from a state of flatland predictability into o n e

startled by " t h e i m m e n s e t h u n d e r clouds m o v i n g o u t o f t h e dark

of limitless d e p t h , change, and color. All at once we are d o w n

towards t h e sleeping city resembling, in t h e spasmodic lightning,

i n t o its jungles of rock, p l u n g i n g toward sheer crevices, skim-

fabulous swans beating towards us o n hissing wings of fire." While

m i n g l i m e s t o n e jags by only a few yards, t h e n swooping d o w n

w a t c h i n g t h e distant s u m m e r l i g h t n i n g from t h e train, his Rus-

even farther to trace t h e w i n d i n g p a t h of t h e C o l o r a d o River,

sian friend explained t h a t t h e y h a d a special w o r d in Russian for

rocketing u p t o w a r d a large b u t t e , w i n g left, wing right, as w e

just t h a t feeling: zarnitsa. T h e Salish Indians n a m e t h e state skalali-

twist along t h e u n r a v e l i n g alleyways of rock, p a r t of a spectacle

tude. T h e Lakota Indians use t h e w o r d skanagoah to c a p t u r e " t h e

b o t h dainty and massive. W h o could m e a s u r e it, w h e n w e are t h e

still, electrifying awareness o n e experiences in t h e deep woods," a

only certain size m o v i n g t h r o u g h t h e mazes? Off o n e wingtip, a

feeling of highly a t t u n e d balance. O n t h e slopes of M o u n t Kili-

k n o b of l i m e s t o n e curves into a r r o w h e a d edges and disappears at

m a n j a r o , Carl Jung felt an ecstatic sense of h a r m o n y w i t h t h e

t h e base of a half-shattered tree w h o s e o p e n roots catch t h e s u n -

land, a timelessness, a v a u n t i n g self-centeredness, a belief in t h e

light in a cage of iridescence.

totality of his p o w e r t h a t d i d n ' t feel egotistical at all b u t farranging, reverent, and majestically creative:

Back o n land, I begin t o explore t h e G r a n d C a n y o n o n foot

from l o o k o u t s and trails along t h e rim. As a park for t h e senses,
t h e G r a n d C a n y o n r a n k s high. B u t in t h e strictest sense it is also a

Standing on a hill in the East Africa plains, I saw herds of

p l a y g r o u n d . Sacred places are p l a y g r o u n d s for deep players. Or,

thousands of wild beasts, grazing in soundless peace, beneath

t o p u t it a n o t h e r way, w h e n e v e r o n e is e n r a p t u r e d by deep play

the primeval world, as they had done for unimaginable ages

t h e p l a y g r o u n d itself b e c o m e s sacred. In b o t h cases, special rules

of time. And I had the feeling of being the first man, the first

m u s t be followed; these m a y be cricket's rules of play at Lord's

being to know all this. The whole world around me was still

famous g r o u n d in London, or t h e y m a y be spiritual or religious

in the primitive silence and knew not that it was. In this very

rituals. As w i t h all games, a certain air of secrecy reigns. T i m e

m o m e n t in which I knew it, the world came into existence,

shrinks as o n e gets c a u g h t u p in t h e game. T h e w h o l e universe,

and without this m o m e n t it would never have been.

perfectly contained in t h a t o n e place, feels h a r m o n i o u s and

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m a k e s sense. Society's laws give way t o higher and m o r e u r g e n t

e n o u g h t o catch sight of a dark speck m o v i n g along t h e canyon

ones. This h a p p e n s in a site limited by t i m e a n d space, a w o r l d

floora m u l e a n d rider. B u t t h a t is p a r t of t h e puzzle of this

t h a t exists inside ordinary life, b u t r e m o v e d from it. A sacred

labyrinth, a m a z e b o t h of direction and of scale, a m a z e in t h r e e

place is a playground, t h e t e m p o r a r y h o m e of one's exaltation,

dimensions.

w h e r e o n e travels to find r a p t u r e in w h a t is essentially an open-air

seminary o f t h e m i n d .

It's easy t o forget h o w ugly n a t u r e often seemed to people before Romanticism reexplored t h e unevenness of n a t u r a l beauty.

Hypnotized by t h e intricate vastness, I hike from o n e trian-

Early n i n e t e e n t h - c e n t u r y writers found t h e canyon g r o t e s q u e

gulation point to a n o t h e r , finding t w o of t h e n i n e t y b r o n z e s u r -

n o t just d a n g e r o u s and obstructive and rife w i t h bloodthirsty In-

vey disks t h a t were installed decades ago by t h e Boston M u s e u m

dians, b u t actually a vision of evil. C. B. Spencer described it as

of Science./National Geographic expedition. Sitting alone o n a p l i n t h

"Horror! Tragedy! Silence! Death! Chaos! . . . a delirium of Na-

j u t t i n g far over t h e emptiness, I listen to t h e m o n u m e n t a l silence

ture," while a n o t h e r writer called it " t h e grave of t h e world."

and find m y m i n d r o a m i n g over t h e n o t i o n of w o n d e r . T h e

After t w o world wars and assorted smaller ones, w i t h all t h e

canyon, in part, is a t o u c h s t o n e to o t h e r wonders, revealing t h e

atrocities a t t e n d a n t o n t h e m , it's n o longer possible to find works

u n c a n n y w o r k of erosion, a great builder of landscapes; five geo-

of n a t u r e horrible, tragic, deadly, chaotic; h u m a n k i n d has p e r -

logic eras piled o n e o n t o p o f t h e o t h e r like Berber rugs; t h e evo-

sonalized those traits forever. N o w t h e canyon is just t h e o p p o -

lution of life viewable in a fossil record; and t h e fumings of t h e

site: a sanctuary, an e m b l e m of serenity, a view of innocence.

C o l o r a d o River (whose color changes d u r i n g t h e year from deep

T h e Cardenas expedition of 1540 discovered t h e canyon for

green to bright red, or even t o milky blue). Gigantic as t h e

t h e Caucausian world b u t felt n o need to n a m e it. For t h r e e h u n -

canyon is217 miles l o n g i t is t h e w o r l d in m i n i a t u r e : seven

dred years it was t o o o v e r w h e l m i n g to r e p o r t except in w h o l e

e n v i r o n m e n t s (from S o n o r a n to Arctic Circle); desert barrenness

phrases and sentences. A n d t h e n in t h e 1850s and 1860s "Big

to spring lushness. It is certainly t h e grandest A m e r i c a n cliche,

C a n o n " and " G r a n d C a n o n o f t h e C o l o r a d o " c a m e i n t o use, as if

explored by m a n y b u t an e n i g m a nonetheless. N o response t o it

it w e r e one of anything. For it is n o t o n e b u t t h o u s a n d s of canyons,

seems robust e n o u g h .

thousands of gorges and buttes, interflowing, m u t e , radiant, chang-

In a world g o v e r n e d by p r o p o r t i o n i n w h i c h t h e eye frames

a m o m e n t , digests it, frames a n o t h e r s c a l e is lost; visual scale,

ing, all w i t h a single river a m o n g t h e m , as if joined by a c o m m o n

thought.

m e n t a l scale, e m o t i o n a l scale. If y o u r lips p u r s e in a silent wow! at

In t h e canyon's long soliloquy of rock, parrots of light m o v e

t h e sight of Niagara Falls, w h a t is suitable here, w h e r e y o u r h e a r t

a b o u t t h e grottoes and real swifts l o o p and dart, w h i t e chevrons

explores s o m e of its oldest dwellings? T h e m i n d m a k e s its o w n

o n each flank. T h e silence is b r o k e n only by t h e s o u n d of air

lavish prisons; rarely does o n e confront in n a t u r e a prison u n -

whistling t h r o u g h t h e gorges, and t h e occasional w h i r r i n g of a

imaginable. H o w can you explain an emptiness so vast and intri-

helicopter. N o w and t h e n o n e hears t h e s o u n d of a furnace

cate, an emptiness rare o n this planet? N o t t h e sprawling, flat,

w h u m p i n g on: a bird taking flight. T h e r e is n o way to catalogue

oddly clean emptiness of a desert or arctic region, b u t an e m p t i -

t h e endless dialects and languages and body types of t h e tourists

ness w i t h d e p t h . T h e r e are n o yardsticks, unless o n e is lucky

e n c o u n t e r e d at t h e rim. With binoculars as various as they are,

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visitors search t h e canyon for trails, mules, signs of o t h e r people.

rigidly dead as t h e G r a n d C a n y o n . It is beautiful and instructive

T h e need to h u m a n i z e t h e m a r v e l is obsessive, obvious, a n d u n i -

and calming, b u t it is also t h e absolute, intractable " o t h e r " t h a t

versal. With glass lenses extending real eyes, canyon visitors be-

h u m a n beings face from birth to death, t h e sharp c o u n t e r p o i n t

c o m e p a r t o f t h e evolution o n show. If w e c a n n o t go backward in

t o o u r lives.

time, we can at least creep into it, above desert floors and red-rock

Perhaps that's w h y tourists m a i n l y respond to it w i t h a long

mesas and ponderosa pine, t h e n s u d d e n l y slip over t h e r i m of

pause of recognition, t h e m o m e n t a r y twisting of a brow as t h e y

d r e a m s and d o w n t h r o u g h t h e layers of geological time.

try to c o n s t r u e it, and t h e n a long, slow silence while t h e y sit and

W h a t is grandeur t h a t it s h o u l d form rapidly in t h e m i n d w h e n

behold itavast incomprehensible landform that both humbles

o n e first sees t h e G r a n d Canyon? W h y d o w e attach t h a t concept

and e x a l t s u n t i l their bus m u s t go, or t h e fading light leaves

t o this spectacle? Is it m e r e l y t h e puniness of h u m a n beings c o m -

t h e t h i n n e s t catwalk between t h e blue sky and t h e bluer outlines

pared w i t h t h e gigantic s t r u c t u r e s of rock? T h e m o o n , t h e biggest

ofrock.

rock m o s t of us know, has been domesticated in literature and

Consciousness is t h e great p o e m of m a t t e r , whose opposite

song, b u t t h e canyon has resisted great literature. As w i t h t h e

e x t r e m e is a G r a n d C a n y o n . In between, m a t t e r has odd fits and

universe and t h e workings of n a t u r e , t h e r e is n o way to s u m m a -

w h i m s : l y m p h , feathers, brass. Cactus strikes m e as a very odd

rize it. T h e u l t i m a t e m o d e l of a labyrinth, it is g a r g a n t u a n and

p r e d i c a m e n t for m a t t e r to get into. B u t p e r h a p s it is n o stranger

cryptic, full of blind alleys and cul-de-sacs. We are compulsive ar-

t h a n t h e c o m b of an iris, or t h e way flowers present their sex or-

chitects; to see engineering as c o m p l e t e , colossal, and inimitable

gans t o t h e world, or t h e milky sap t h a t often oozes from inedible

as thisstill far beyond o u r abilitiesis h u m b l i n g indeed. As

plants. T h e r e is s o m e t h i n g a b o u t t h e p o i g n a n t senselessness of all

J o h n M u i r said in 1896, u p o n first viewing t h e canyon: " M a n seeks

t h a t rock t h a t r e m i n d s us, as n o t h i n g else could so dramatically,

t h e finest marbles for sculptures; N a t u r e takes cinders, ashes,

w h a t a bit of luck we are, w h a t a n a t u r a l w o n d e r .

sediments, and makes all divine in fineness and b e a u t y t u r r e t s ,

At t h e S o u t h Rim, brass sighting tubes m a k e arbitrary sense

towers, pyramids, b a t t l e m e n t e d castles, rising in glowing beauty

o u t of t h e vista. Lay t h e lensless t u b e into a slot m a r k e d "battle-

from t h e d e p t h s of this canyon of canyons noiselessly h e w n from

ship" and t h e r e will be a facsimile in rock. T h e o t h e r sites are

t h e s m o o t h mass o f t h e featureless plateau."

m a i n l y temples: Vishnu Temple, Wotan's T h r o n e , Zoroaster T e m -

Most of all, t h e canyon is so vastly uninvolved w i t h us, w i t h

ple, B r a h m a Temple, B u d d h a Temple, Tower of Ra, Cheops Pyra-

m e r c y or pity. Even t h e criminal m i n d is m o r e explicable t h a n

mid, Osiris Temple, Shiva Temple, Isis Temple, and so on. O n e

t h i s a quiddity we c a n n o t enter, a consciousness t h a t does n o t

of t h e m o s t dramatic, tall, and precarious buttes is referred to

include us. We pass t h r o u g h m u c h of o u r world as voyeurs a n d

as "Snoopy" because, t h e y say, it resembles t h e c a r t o o n dog lying

yet we are driven, from sheer loneliness, I suppose, to attribute

o n his doghouse. All this d e m o t i o n of t h e spectacle troubles

consciousness to all sorts of nonconscious t h i n g s d o l l s , cars,

m e . W h y define a site w i t h a n o t h e r site t h a t is smaller and in

c o m p u t e r s . We still call o n e a n o t h e r t o t e m i c n a m e s by way of e n -

s o m e cases trivial? W h y vulgarize it w i t h p o p c u l t u r e icons? T h e

d e a r m e n t ; w e w o u l d like to keep t h e world as a n i m a t e as it was

w o r d vulgar didn't originally m e a n to debase or cheapen, b u t to

for o u r ancestors. But t h a t is difficult w h e n facing a vision as

m a k e suitable for t h e c o m m o n people (from t h e Latin vulgus). D o

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visitors to t h e canyon really need to have it t a m e d before t h e y can

u n r e p e a t i n g w i t h o u t t h e intricate habits of light. For t h e

appreciate it? N o t h i n g can c o m p a r e w i t h t h e G r a n d Canyon, and

canyon traps light, reveals itself in light, rehearses all t h e ways a

t h a t is p a r t of its t r u e marvel and appeal.

t h i n g can be lit: t h e picadors of light jabbing t h e t h e h o r n e d spray

It was J o h n Wesley Powell w h o , in 1860, gave t h e salient

o f t h e C o l o r a d o River; light like caramel s y r u p p o u r i n g over t h e

buttes their t e m p l e n a m e s . To Native Americans, it did indeed

dusky buttes; t h e light almost fluorescent in t h e h o t green leaves

contain sacred places. N o w t h a t t h e gods w h o i n s t r u c t e d us are

of seedlings. In places t h e canyon is so steep t h a t s u n l i g h t enters

r e m o t e , we are quite obsessed w i t h temples. We have m o v e d o u r

it only briefly at n o o n ; t h e rest is darkness. Mysticism begins

gods farther and farther away, off t h e planet, into t h e solar sys-

in semidarkness and silence. Like a sanctuary of colossal p r o -

t e m , beyond t h e Milky Way, beyond t h e Big Bang. B u t once u p o n

portions, t h e canyon thrills with vestigial darkness, vaulted arches

a time, w h e n t i m e was seasonal, t h e gods w e r e neighbors w h o

w h e r e sunrise trembles, and forest glades filled w i t h dapplings

lived just across t h e valley o n a proscribed m o u n t a i n . Their deeds

oflight.

and desires were tangible; they w e r e intimates.

It is h a r d t o assimilate s u c h a m i x of intensities; it is t o o close

Today o n t h e Hopi mesas close to t h e G r a n d Canyon, in r i t u -

to t h e experience of being alive. Instead, w e order it w i t h n a m e s

als older t h a n m e m o r y , people still dress as kachinasgarish, ex-

t h a t are cozy, trendy, or ancient. It is like t h e conscious m i n d ,

pressionist re-creations of t h e essences of their world. T h e r e is a

s m i t t e n w i t h t h o u g h t , whose crevices spread o p e n silently before

k a c h i n a of meteors, and maize, and w a t e r vapor. In t h e w i n t e r

us. Available, viewable, definable, reducible to strata of limestone

m o n t h s t h e kachinas dwell o n t h e 12,000-foot slopes of H u m -

and fossil, t h e y are still mysterious crevices, still u n k n o w a b l e , still

phreys Peak, and in t h e growing season t h e y c o m e d o w n t o m o v e

o v e r w h e l m i n g , still a m p l e and u n e a r t h l y , still t h e e a r t h at its

a m o n g h u m a n s . T h e Hopi have traditionally traveled into t h e

earthiest.

canyon to p e r f o r m s o m e of their rituals, and t h e r e is a spot o n t h e

T h e Douglas firs appear u n d e r , a r o u n d , between, t h r o u g h

b a n k of t h e Little C o l o r a d o where, t h e y believe, h u m a n s m a y

every place o n e looks; t h e y survive t h e rock. M a n y of their

first have entered t h e world. Indeed, t h e w h o l e area a r o u n d t h e

twisted, lightning-licked limbs are still in leaf. T h e c o t t o n w o o d s ,

G r a n d C a n y o n is full of religious lore and n a t u r a l wonders. T h e

g r o w i n g over a h u n d r e d feet tall, can use m o r e t h a n fifty gallons

volcanic field just n o r t h of Flagstaff is t h e largest in t h e U n i t e d

of w a t e r each day. T h e r e are a t h o u s a n d kinds of flower and bird

States, a n d flying over it you can see w h e r e t h e black paws of lava

and squirrel species indigenous to t h e canyon (some nearly ex-

stopped cold. T h e aerial t u r b u l e n c e at m i d d a y evokes t h e early

tinct). A n d endless n u m b e r s of otters, skunks, beavers, ring-tailed

t u r b u l e n c e from w h i c h t h e canyon was partially formed, and

cats, deer, porcupines, shrews, c h i p m u n k s , rats, and wild burros.

long before t h a t t h e chaos o f t h e Big Bang. Pluto was first sighted

In t h e low, c o m m o n desert o f t h e i n n e r canyon depths, only t h e

from t h e Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, in 1930. In half a d o z e n

prickly-pear cactus survives well t h e high t e m p e r a t u r e s and rare

o t h e r observatories in Arizona, a s t r o n o m e r s cast their gaze u p -

precipitation. It is n o t erosion o n a large scale t h a t has formed t h e

w a r d while, close by, a million tourists cast theirs d o w n into t h e

canyon, b u t t h e small daily eating away of it by tiny plants and

gorge.

streams, r e m i n d i n g us w h a t t h e m e r e s t trickle over limestone

T h e r e w o u l d be n o canyon as w e perceive i t s u b t l e , mazy,

can achieve. F r o m r i m to floor, t h e canyon reveals t h e last t w o

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billion years of geological history and t h u s typifies t h e processes

Paul G a u g u i n ' s pilgrimage was t h r o u g h a Polynesia of t h e m i n d .

of evolution and decay in w h i c h w e all take part.

His intense, passionate n o t e b o o k s surge w i t h s o l e m n ideas about

B u t m a i n l y t h e r e is t h e steep persuasion of s o m e t h i n g devas-

t h e raw, a u t h e n t i c society h e w o u l d find, and w i t h daring n e w

tatingly fixed, s o m e t h i n g durable in a world of fast, slippery p e r -

projects and playful imaginings. As h e navigated t h e vast ocean of

ceptions, w h e r e it can s o m e t i m e s seem t h a t t h e r e is n o t h i n g to

his creativity, h e sighted an oasis in t h e S o u t h Sea Islands, a land

cling to. By contrast t h e canyon is solid and forever, going n o -

of r e p l e n i s h m e n t , his o w n private Eden. Journeying t o those is-

where. It will wait for you to f o r m u l a t e y o u r t h o u g h t s . T h e p a r t

lands fulfilled a sacred promise, and p e n e t r a t i n g ever deeper into

of us t h a t yearns for t h e s u p e r n a t u r a l i s m w e sprang from yearns

their interior a restless, n e v e r - e n d i n g obsession. He set off o n a

for this august view of n a t u r e .

pilgrimage, r e n o u n c i n g t h e k n o w n world, a b a n d o n i n g friends

At nightfall, w h e n I fly back to Phoenix, t h e r e is n o canyon

and family, and traveled i n t o a z o n e of ambiguity, a d o p t i n g a radi-

anywhere, just starry blackness above a n d m o o r i s h blackness

cally different life. S u c h j o u r n e y s usually include a sense of spiri-

below. Like an hallucination, t h e canyon has vanished, c o m -

tual quest, a desire for self-knowledge and h a r m o n y w i t h one's

pletely h i d d e n n o w by t h e absence oflight. Hidden, as it was from

s u r r o u n d i n g s . However, as A b r a h a m H. Maslow r e m i n d s us in

h u m a n eyes for millennia, it makes you w o n d e r w h a t o t h e r se-

Religions, Values, and Peak Experiences:

crets lie in t h e shade of o u r perception. Bobbing t h r o u g h t h e

usual t u r b u l e n c e over t h e desert, w e pick o u r way h o m e from

The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen m o n k s . . .

o n e cluster of t o w n lights to a n o t h e r , aware from this h e i g h t of

is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found

t h e p a t t e r n s of h u m a n habitation. Seven skirts o f l i g h t a r o u n d a

in one's daily life, in one's neighbors, friends, and family, in

m o u n t a i n reveal h o w people settled in waves. S o m e roads curve

one's back yard, and that travel may be a flight from con-

t o avoid, o t h e r s to arrive. Except for t h e lights r u n n i n g parallel

fronting the sacredthis lesson can be easily lost. To be look-

along t h e ridges, people seem desperate to c l u m p and b u n c h ,

ing everywhere for miracles is to me a sure sign of ignorance

s w a r m i n g all over each o t h e r in t o w n s while m o s t o f t h e land lies

that everything is miraculous.

e m p t y . T h e thick, dark r u s h o f t h e desert below, in w h i c h t h e r e is

n o t o n e h u m a n light for miles, drugs m e . Looking u p drowsily

Nonetheless, people obsessively plan s u c h pilgrimages, just as

after a spell, I ' m startled to see t h e h o r i z o n glittering: Phoenix

G a u g u i n did, taking m e n t a l flights a h u n d r e d times before de-

and its suburbs: o n e long sprawling m a r q u e e . S o m e w h e r e in t h a t

p a r t u r e , rehearsing t h e protocols, sliding into t h e m e n t a l w o r l d

expanse, people e n t h r a l l e d by deep play will be losing all sense of

of t h e natives, idealizing t h e destination, anticipating t h e rap-

time, growing tense, feeling r a p t u r e . In a blind fury, an artist m a y

t u r e t h e journey's e n d will trigger. T h e pilgrimage m a y be briefly

be p a c k i n g m e n t a l l y or physicallyfor a devastating grand pil-

a r d u o u s t o t h e Marquesas. Or l e n g t h y and complexsailing

grimage of his o w n .

blind across t h e Pacific in outrigger canoes. T h e p l a y g r o u n d m a y

be glorified by r u m o r and distance, or it m a y be p r i v a t e t h e sole
object of a heart's imaginings. It m a y be civilized and full of h o m e

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comforts, or it m a y be a dangerously exotic r e a l m d o m i n a t e d by

of capitalist society to explain this c o m p u l s i o n , b u t at a certain

r a n d o m violence and uncertainty. One's focus simultaneously

p o i n t s u c h a search for t h e place of u l t i m a t e inexpense leads to

n a r r o w s and intensifies. Journeying t h e r e by c a m e l or p l a n e m a y

either paradise or death. H e found b o t h in t h e Marquesas, a ring

be t h e game, or, like G a u g u i n , o n e m a y p r e p a r e for years and sail

of twelve steeply volcanic islands a b o u t 740 miles n o r t h e a s t of

across l i t t l e - k n o w n seas to find t h e perfect arena.

Tahiti. Centrally isolated, t h e y lie farther from all continents

At t h e age of forty-three G a u g u i n , arrived alone o n t h e

t h a n any o t h e r island g r o u p in t h e world2,500 miles southeast

hourglass-shaped island of Tahiti o n June 1,1891, h e h a d given u p

of Hawaii, 3,500 miles west of Peru. T h e y are p a r t of French Poly-

a respectable career as a suit-and-tie-wearing banker, and left be-

nesia a l m o s t by accident (an A m e r i c a n naval officer claimed

hind a wife and children to devote himself to his j u s t - b u d d i n g art,

t h e m for t h e U n i t e d States in 1813, b u t President Madison, in a

which h e h o p e d "to develop into a wild and primitive g r o w t h . "

lapse of tropical imagination, said h e didn't w a n t t h e m ; w i t h a

He didn't k n o w t h a t h e w o u l d t u r n o u t to be Polynesia's m o s t fa-

flourish,

m o u s celebrant and spend m u c h of his life either painting or de-

w e n t in his final days, to shed t h e last threads of western society,

fending t h e rights of its citizens. A n idealist, a mystic, a believer in

find r a p t u r e , and paint b e n e a t h t h e a m b e r fires o f t h e sun.

France claimed t h e m in 1842). T h e y are w h e r e G a u g u i n

Rousseau's vision of people achieving their best w h e n u n t a i n t e d

For t h e longest time, t h e origin o f t h e Polynesians was a mys-

by t h e corrosive influences of civilization, h e described himself as

tery. T h e islands are so small and r e m o t e , and t h e Pacific is larger

b o t h "a child and a savage" w h o longed t o "escape t o a S o u t h Sea

t h a n all t h e earth's continents p u t together. W h e n Europeans

Island and live t h e r e in ecstasy and peace." Especially ecstasy.

first saw t h e Pacific, all of its 10,000 islands h a d already been dis-

Music can express feelings directly, as p u r e e m o t i o n , and G a u -

covered by a great seafaring people w h o had n o technology, n o

g u i n h o p e d to do t h e same t h r o u g h s u c h abstractions as color

w r i t t e n history. Captain James C o o k spent twelve years explor-

a n d shape; u n d e r t h e tropic sun, h e painted canvases depicting

ing Polynesia's m a n y jewellike islands. A sensitive observer of

l u x u r i a n t primitive scenes. He d o t e d o n w o m e n of all ages, and

t h e peoples, h e commissioned artists to record their customs,

found in t h e Tahitian w o m a n an Eve "still able t o walk naked,

a n d found t h a t inhabitants of islands as far-flung as Hawaii and

w i t h o u t indecency, preserving all her a n i m a l beauty." She wears

t h e Marquesas spoke similar languages, danced t h e same dances,

"an ironical smile u p o n her lips," h e explained, as if describing h e r

d r e w t h e same designs in their artwork, and shared religious

m a n y incarnations in his paintings, from w h i c h "she looks at us

m y t h s . W h e r e could they have c o m e from? Strong wind and

enigmatically."

w a t e r c u r r e n t s r u n from east t o west, and so o n e t h e o r y is t h a t

Tahiti m a y s o u n d like t h e e n d of t h e world, a tropical desti-

t h e y drift-sailed from S o u t h America. In 1947, T h o r Heyerdahl

nation, n o t a setting-off point. B u t G a u g u i n grew bored w i t h

decided to p r o v e this theory, sailing w i t h a five-man crew o n a

Tahiti and, as his r a p t u r e for Polynesia itself deepened, h e k e p t

balsa-wood raft, t h e Kon-tiki, from S o u t h America. N i n e t y - t h r e e

m o v i n g farther into isolation, to m o r e r e m o t e islands, explaining

days later h e sighted land in t h e T u a m o t o s , proving t h a t drift

simply t h a t it was because t h e y w e r e cheaper. It seemed h e was

voyages between S o u t h America and Polynesia were theoretically

constantly searching for t h e cheapest place of all, w h e r e food

possible.

was virtually free. He m a y have used t h e mercantile language

B u t this was c o n t r a r y to t h e intuitions of Captain Cook, w h o

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argued t h a t t h e Polynesians were so expert in navigation t h a t

This m y s t e r y w e n t unsolved for t h e longest time. T h e secret de-

they m i g h t have sailed against t h e winds and c u r r e n t s and c o m e

tails of navigation w e r e sacred, and closely guarded by t h e priestly

from Asia. He h a d personally spoken w i t h navigators w h o m a d e

caste of navigators, w h o were second in i m p o r t a n c e only to t h e

trips of h u n d r e d s of miles between tiny islands.

king. Every island h a d navigators. N o w we k n o w t h a t t h e y relied

N o w scientists have proved t h a t C o o k was right. A n early

seafaring people traveled t o s o m e of t h e eastern islands of Poly-

o n a c o m p l e x k n o w l e d g e o f t h e ocean, t h e w e a t h e r , and t h e birds

a n d sea creatures.

nesia from t h e Bismarck Archipelago, n e a r N e w Guinea, a b o u t

In this survival g a m e whose skills were e n t r u s t e d to only a

3,000 years ago. At about t h e t i m e of Christ, -they sailed eastward

lucky few, initiates c o m b i n e d m y t h o l o g y , religious practice, and

t o Tahiti and t h e Marquesas. T h e y fished, raised crops, pigs, and

all t h e excitement of a quest for t h e u n k n o w n as they learned to

chickens. F r o m t h a t h o m e base, t h e y l a u n c h e d m o r e ambitious

read t h e ocean like a holy text. We're used to t h i n k i n g of radio

voyages s o u t h to N e w Zealand, east to Easter Island, and n o r t h to

and television waves as carrying a lot of information, b u t to t h e

Hawaii. Their h u g e outrigger canoes w e r e carved from breadfruit

Polynesians t h e ocean waves w e r e richly informative, too. Waves

trees, w i t h w o v e n p a l m leaves for sails. T h e y m a d e "sennit" from

m a d e predictable p a t t e r n s a r o u n d islands, coral reefs, atolls, and

c o c o n u t fibersa sturdy, coarse rope t h a t adheres to itself and is

channels. Waves r a n in certain ways before typhoons. Rolling

excellent for lashing canoes together. T h e y waterproofed t h e

waves, waves c h a n g i n g direction, staggering waves, m o u n t i n g ed-

seams w i t h heated breadfruit sap, and in these voyaging canoes

dies and swells all built u p a detailed m a p of an island as yet invisi-

t h e y carried family, livestock, and belongings. O n Polynesian is-

ble to t h e eye. T h e navigators learned t h a t w a t e r flowing a r o u n d

lands, archaeologists have found obsidian, glitter (probably for

a shore, responding t o each c o n t o u r , carries those features far o u t

b o d y paint), and chert t h a t aren't indigenous to these islands b u t

t o sea. At n i g h t , t h e eddies m i g h t often have even been lit by

can be found o n islands near N e w Guinea. H o w terrifyingly se-

b i o l u m i n e s c e n t sea creatures, and t h e swells echoing o u t from

ductive such trips m u s t have been t o t h e ancient navigators.

shore w o u l d be gently hitting t h e canoes like radar waves. T h e r e

Forsaking e v e r y t h i n g t h e y k n e w and loved, t r u s t i n g their fate t o

are m a n y o t h e r guideposts. T h e y knew, just as t h e Vikings and

t h e gods, gambling t h a t t h e y w e r e s m a r t e n o u g h , s t r o n g e n o u g h ,

Phoenicians did, t h a t land birds will always be traveling in o n e di-

brave e n o u g h t o o u t w i t death, t h e y m u s t have been ecstatic

rection at certain times of t h e year. Local birds, such as boobies

nonetheless, and set off amid jubilant cheers and a r d e n t prayers.

a n d gannets, could be w a t c h e d and followed late in t h e after-

Their Everest was horizontal, n o t vertical. Today sailors gain ac-

n o o n , w h e n their ocean-feeding w o u l d be d o n e and they w o u l d

colades if they cross t h e Atlantic solo, a c c o m p a n i e d by radios a n d

be flying back to their island nests. Mariners often k e p t frigate

navigation aids, k n o w i n g full well w h a t waits o n t h e distant

birds to t u r n loose, because t h e y w e r e k n o w n to fly straight for

shore. T h e ancient navigators sailed straight i n t o t h e m o u t h of

land, and s o m e t i m e s voyagers traveled w i t h pigs, w h i c h could

t h e u n k n o w n , wagering all.

smell land at a great distance. Tall islands trail clouds like c h i m -

It's hard to imagine t h e scale of s u c h epic voyages over o p e n

ocean for as far as 4,000 miles. H o w did t h e Polynesian navigators
find their way over t h e galloping swells o f t h e m i s n a m e d Pacific?

neys s m o k i n g in t h e wind. T h e r e w e r e m a n y colors of ocean

to decipher, and t h e d e p t h s or proximity to land they bespeak.
T h e r e was t h e t e m p e r a t u r e of various currents. T h e r e was t h e

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great p l a n e t a r i u m of t h e sky to tell their w h e r e a b o u t s , time, and

t o n g u e s wagging and his roguish r e p u t a t i o n secure. He had so

direction. T h e y k n e w h u n d r e d s of stars by n a m e , and w h i c h is-

m a n y w o m e n of so m a n y ages t h a t his final c o m p a n i o n could

lands a star w o u l d be floating above in w h i c h season. T h e r e was

be a l m o s t anyone. If this seems a w i n d b l o w n and lonely place, it's

t h e familiar m o v e m e n t of t h e S o u t h e r n Cross. Fish w e r e useful

also serene and full of painterly vistas o n every side. Images to

to watch, too. T h e r e were t h e deep-sea c r e a t u r e s w h a l e s , flying

steer t h r o u g h his m e m o r y and e n s h r i n e o n t h e playing field of

fish, certain s h a r k s a n d t h e r e w e r e t h e local fish t h a t rarely

t h e canvas. T h a t w o u l d have pleased G a u g u i n . A favorite g a m e of

strayed from their coastal niches.

m i n e (and m a n y o t h e r people's) is p u t t i n g o n t h e lens of s o m e -

In 1976, Pius M a u Piailug, o n e o f t h e last surviving navigators,

o n e else's sensibility, t o see t h e world in a different light. G a u -

an i n h a b i t a n t o f t h e tiny island of Satawal, showed t h e world h o w

guin's, Cook's, an ancient navigator's. But, in t h e end, s h a d o w i n g

it was d o n e by navigating 2,500 miles over o p e n ocean in a replica

a deep player's j o u r n e y o n his canvases, in his journals, along

of an ancient voyaging canoe. He explained t h a t h e navigated in

t h e shores h e e x p l o r e d t e a c h e s you less a b o u t t h e player t h a n

p a r t by using a star compass, t h e secrets of w h i c h h e d e m o n -

a b o u t w h a t h e loved. T h e t r e m b l i n g light o n t h e water. T h e

strated by arranging t h i r t y - t w o l u m p s of coral in a circle, t h e n

deeply s a t u r a t e d tones of m o u n t a i n , land, and c u l t u r e . T h e distil-

r e c o u n t i n g t h e rising and setting p o i n t of each star. He also con-

lation of spirit.

sulted t h e c o m p l e x m a p of t h e ocean waves. T h e r e were eight

"The m o u n t a i n s , each inside t h e other," Greek p o e t George

sets of swells t h a t could be read. O n this voyage b e t w e e n Tahiti

Seferis writes, "are bodies h u g g i n g each o t h e r . They proceed and

and Hawaii, t h e r e was a crew of seventeen a n d six tons of supplies.

complete you. T h e same w i t h t h e sea. This a m a z i n g t h i n g happens. It

Everything was d o n e in t h e ancient way. As M a u proved, even at

is impossible for m e to express this revelation in a better way.

n i g h t or in fog, w h e n a skilled navigator c o u l d n ' t see t h e swells,

After this, w h e t h e r or n o t you are a person has n o significance.

h e could nonetheless feel and set a course by t h e m . This was p r e -

Or, t h e person is n o longer you, t h e person is there. If you can, you

sumably h o w t h e people c a m e to t h e islands l o n g ago.

c o m p l e t e it. If you can, you p e r f o r m a sacred act. At this point,

In t h e bay of A t u o n a , o n t h e island of Hiva Oa, o n e finds a

happiness or u n h a p p i n e s s m e a n n o t h i n g ; it is a struggle t h a t

small, terraced c e m e t e r y b r i m m i n g w i t h flowers and shade trees.

takes place elsewhere." For G a u g u i n , t h e long g a m e of paint, pil-

It overlooks t h e beach, t h e boats at anchor, and t h e m o u n t a i n s

grimage, and passion was finished. Nine years after h e began his

rolling away i n t o t h e distance. A frangipani tree full of y e l l o w

love affair w i t h Polynesia, and t w o years before his death in 1903,

and w h i t e blossoms grows at t h e head of G a u g u i n ' s grave, its

w h e n h e m o v e d p e r m a n e n t l y to A t u o n a , G a u g u i n w r o t e of his

roots p a r t o f t h e grave itself. T h e reddish gravestone is shaped like

final h o m e : "I a m satisfied, h e r e in m y solitude."

a reclining figure holding between its knees a r o u n d s t o n e o n

G a u g u i n was o n e kind of deep player, for w h o m art and ad-

w h i c h PAUL GAUGUIN, 1903 has been chiseled a n d filled in w i t h pink.

v e n t u r e m e r g e d . O t h e r a d v e n t u r e players m a y be thrill-seekers,

Beside t h e stone, u n d e r t h e frangipani tree, sits a replica of o n e of

explorers, discoverers, or even s o m e lighter-than-air individuals

G a u g u i n ' s statues: a w o m a n w h o s e knees are twisted t o o n e side,

w h o stage quests containing all these elements.

w i t h a dog at her feet. T h e islanders claim t h a t t w o skeletons are

actually lying in his grave. That's just e n o u g h m y s t e r y to keep

t h e

These games will be the death of me yet; the wrack

and ruin, or else the salvation.... Games pared
down to the blazing bare bones, to the beautiful, terrible core of it all.
Rob Schultheis, Bone Games
We stand on the brink of a precipice. We peer into the
abysswe grow sick and dizzy. Our first impulse is to
shrink from the danger. Unaccountably we remain.
Edgar Allan Poe, "The Imp ofthe Perverse"

o m e of deep play's original m e a n i n g , locked in t h e

s
w o r l d of pledge, danger, and fixation, is perfectly visible
today. In 1996, for instance, it lured t h r e e h u n d r e d people to t h e base c a m p at M o u n t Everest, w h e r e m a n y
climbed i n t o " t h e d e a t h zone" five miles high. S o m e
reached t h e pinnacle, o t h e r s t u r n e d back, and n i n e t e e n

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died, while a puzzled w o r l d w a t c h e d . At 30,000 feet, Everest is t h e

highest p o i n t o n e a r t h , t h e place closest to heaven or o u t e r space.
It's shocking to realize t h a t Everest reaches into t h e jet stream,
and has a p e r m a n e n t w h i t e contrail s t r e a m i n g b e h i n d it. Picturing people s t u m b l i n g a r o u n d in t h e jet s t r e a m helps t o clarify
w h y t h e climb is so dangerous. This season, despite reading of
t h o s e agonizing deaths, even m o r e climbers signed up, paying
$70,000 each, and k n o w i n g t h a t o n e in four will die. Those w h o
d o survive m a y lose a nose, ears, and h a n d s to frostbite. T h e y m a y
face h a r r o w i n g m e m o r i e s and jagged n i g h t m a r e s of t h e worst
t r a u m a of their lives. If t h e y r e t u r n whole, their w o r l d will seem
flatter by c o m p a r i s o n . D o i n g s o m e t h i n g larger t h a n life leaves
y o u w i t h t h e rest of y o u r less-towering days to fill. Steep thrills,
by definition, begin and e n d w i t h t h e c o m m o n p l a c e .
It's probably n o coincidence t h a t t h e language of m o u n taineering intersects w i t h t h e psychological. C l i m b Everest and,
by general acclamation, you've a m o u n t e d to s o m e t h i n g . A precipitous life, a life o n t h e edge, proves you aren't a coward, a
slacker, a weakling. Pick y o u r way t h r o u g h a t h r e e - d i m e n s i o n a l
d e a t h puzzle, and n o o n e can call you timid. Climb to t h e highest
p o i n t o n Earth, and people m u s t look u p to you. T h e n you are
t o p dog, king of t h e hill, high a n d mighty, and all t h e o t h e r
cliches t h a t c a p t u r e w h a t h e i g h t symbolizes t o h u m a n s . After
all, w e are vertical by heritage-our p r i m a t e ancestors raced
u p i n t o t h e trees for safety a n d strategy. T h o u s a n d s of years
later, t h o u g h settled a n d civilized, w e still follow those basic instincts. It's h a r d to teach an old d o g m a n e w tricks. So w e build
high-rises, towers, a n d ziggurats, and we're utterly obsessed w i t h
h i e r a r c h i e s w h o stands above w h o m and looks d o w n u p o n
w h o m . We still like to w a t c h life's opera from high balconies. We
climb c o r p o r a t e ladders, w e battle for t h e high g r o u n d . If you can
rise t o t h e top, you b e c o m e a t o w e r i n g and d o m i n a n t

figure.

W h a t lures m a n y t o Everest m a y be visceral, a tonic craved by

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m u s c l e and imagination. Preparing for a death-defying climb can

personality; and w h a t is style b u t a playing w i t h possible forms?

bring focus and direction t o a rudderless life. B u t o n e m u s t re-

I'll never forget Pele's farewell g a m e . He stood at t h e center o f t h e

m e m b e r t h a t these climbers are also staging an elaborate public

s t a d i u m , s u r r o u n d e d by 40,000 adoring, teary-eyed fans. His voice

display. T h e r e is a difference between private and public acts of

over t h e loudspeaker reverberated as if it were echoing a r o u n d a

deep play. People w h o climb Everest a r e n ' t quiet a b o u t it. T h e y

canyon as h e said: "Repeat after m e : LOVE . . . love . . . LOVE . . .

m a n a g e to w o r k it into a conversation. Sir E d m u n d Hillary's face

love . . . LOVE . . . love."

a d o r n s N e w Zealand's five-dollar bill.

M y relationship w i t h soccer was deep play, b u t m a n y of t h e

Ironically, m a n y professional athletes aren't really playing, b u t

players I m e t felt quite sober a n d businesslike a b o u t t h e game.

working. W h a t first attracted t h e m to their sport m a y have been

A m a t e u r athletes and fans m o s t often expressed playfulness and

powerfully spiritual, b u t r e m o v e t h e voluntary, t h e spontaneous,

r a p t u r e . We forget t h a t t h e w o r d amateur m e a n s lover. In ancient

t h e freewheeling, t h e transcendent, and play can quickly b e c o m e

times, w h e n sports w e r e p a r t of religious holidays, they w e r e holy

earnest business. As A. G u t t m a n insists, "Sport is n o t an escape

events w i t h cosmic significance. All t h a t has changed, except p e r -

from t h e world of w o r k b u t r a t h e r an exact s t r u c t u r a l and func-

haps w h e n t h e Olympics b e c o m e politicized, as t h e y often do.

tional p a r a l l e l . . . . It seduces t h e luckless athlete and spectator into

Today, m o s t people d o n ' t play sports professionally, or as

a second world of w o r k m o r e authoritarian and repressive and less

enthusiastic a m a t e u r s , b u t t o achieve practical goals. People w o r k

meaningful" t h a n t h e first. Studies have s h o w n t h a t if o n e is paid

at play. In a puritanical panic, t h e y dismiss play as inefficient, a

for doing w h a t o n e loves, it loses s o m e of its appeal. "Be n o t one

waste of time. According t o a recent survey, people have an aver-

whose motive for action is t h e h o p e of reward," Lord Krishna ad-

age of only sixteen h o u r s of leisure t i m e per week. In o u r d o - m o r e -

vises in t h e Bhagavad Gita, since happiness lies in t h e doing. C o n -

in-less-time world, o n e can't afford to play unless it accomplishes

verting play to w o r k usually ruins t h e game. However, there's also

something.

a strong tribal e l e m e n t in sports, which can lead to mystical states

This a t t i t u d e l o o m s in sports magazines, w h i c h are d o m i -

of combined p u r p o s e and sometimes to mass violence or hysteria.

n a t e d by articles a b o u t h o w to be m o r e competitive. T h e adver-

Wars have been fought over t h e o u t c o m e of soccer games.

tisements p r o m i s e their p r o d u c t s will m a k e o n e t o u g h e r a n d

Years ago, I decided t o write a novel set in t h e soccer world,

m o r e m a c h o . Here's a typical o n e in a cycling magazine: a full-

because I was interested even t h e n in c e r e m o n i a l violence and

page ad shows a m a n upside d o w n o n a snowboard, about t w e n t y

play. To get s o m e a t m o s p h e r e for it, I b e c a m e a soccer journalist

feet in t h e air, over rocky a n d snowy terrain. A t o p t h e p h o t o a

for a year. O n weekends, I w a t c h e d t h e N e w York C o s m o s soccer

b a n n e r reads:

m a t c h e s at Giants S t a d i u m in N e w Jersey. T h e C o s m o s h a d attracted t h e world's legendary players a n d p u t t h e m all o n o n e

BUY A PIONEER CAR STEREO NOW.

t e a m , and it was exhilarating t o w a t c h s u c h mastery. A l t h o u g h

each of t h e players was a dazzling soloist, t h e y spoke different

Below t h e p h o t o a n o t h e r b a n n e r completes t h e t h o u g h t :

physical dialects, and so s o m e t i m e s t h e y didn't blend i n t o a w i n n i n g t e a m . Each had a distinctive style, b o r n of his c u l t u r e a n d

BECAUSE SOMEDAY YOU LL BE DEAD.

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Next we find: "Are those 50 CDs in y o u r p o c k e t or are you just

w o m e n , occasional travelogues, occasional calls for civic aware-

h a p p y to see me?" At last a text describes t h e disc player for s a l e

ness. B u t t h e o u t l o o k is usually t o u g h - g u y , and their great gods

b u t only in t e r m s of power, loudness, and d o m i n a t i o n . N o w h e r e

are p e r f o r m a n c e and l e n g t h . P o u n d i n g o u t a c e n t u r y (a 100-mile

does it say h o w t h e music m i g h t s o u n d . Presumably musical e n -

ride) is o n e goal; o t h e r s are racing and w i n n i n g . T h e idea of biking

j o y m e n t is n o t t h e point. A n o t h e r full-page ad shows a cyclist o n

just for f u n n o t to p r o v e you're b u t c h or to best s o m e b o d y

an e m p t y highway speeding t o w a r d t h e camera. His eyes are riv-

doesn't rate as high. Maybe o n e day it will, since m a n y cyclists

eted straight ahead. He r e m i n d s m e of a bike s h o p e m p l o y e e m y

these days are biking for fun and fitness; c o m p e t i t i o n is s o m e -

friend and I e n c o u n t e r e d in Charleston, S.C. We h a d flown in for

t h i n g t h e y w a n t to leave at t h e office. However, t h e y do obsess

t h e day, taken a cab from t h e airport to a bike s h o p d o w n t o w n ,

a b o u t bikes, t h e i n s t r u m e n t of their transcendence.

rented bikes, and asked w h i c h direction held t h e best rides.

In all forms of deep play, o n e becomes fascinated by an

"Should w e head east or south?" w e asked t h e m a n , w h o

"other," in w h o s e presence o n e feels exaltation. T h a t o t h e r can be

seemed surprised by t h e question. "Do you bike t h e roads a r o u n d

a p e r s o n or a god, b u t it can just as easily be a war, a m o u n t a i n , or

here very m u c h ? "

a bicycle. T h e relationship is n o less devotional and obsessive. We

"Oh, yeah," h e said, "I bike a b o u t 100 miles a week."

w o r s h i p an icon from afar, b u t we hold an a m u l e t in o u r h a n d s

I tried again. "Well, is t h e scenery m o r e interesting o n t h e

and t o u c h it as w e w o r s h i p it. A n icon is an abstract image we

worship. It's separate from us. A n a m u l e t is also an image of w h a t

east road or t h e s o u t h road?"

T h e n h e said o n e o f t h e saddest things I've ever heard.

w e worship, b u t w e hold it, caress it lovingly, explore its features.

"I d o n ' t look up," h e said, matter-of-factly.

W h a t we're really w o r s h i p i n g is life, a force full of energy, sur-

In a n o t h e r ad, a cyclist is blazing d o w n t h e m a c a d a m in a

prise, g r o w t h , mystery, creativity, and power. In r o m a n t i c love,

rugged landscape, and he's clearly "in t h e zone," as athletes say.

h o l d i n g s o m e o n e close, like an a m u l e t , discovering h o w life ex-

I d o u b t h e looks u p . A b a n n e r r u n n i n g level w i t h his h a n d l e -

presses itself in their w o r d s and their ways, w e hold h a n d s w i t h

bars says:

w h a t w e worship, w e t o u c h and explore t h e sacred. In t h a t sense,

an a m u l e t can be a beloved soccer ball or a m o u n t a i n or a bike.

SOME RELIGIONS ARE PRACTICED SEVEN DAYS A WEEK.

"The bicycle also is an a m u l e t against various disorders," Christop h e r Morley writes in The Romany Stain. "To see before one a forked

T h e n , at t h e b o t t o m o f t h e page, smaller type reads:

m e a n d e r i n g road, a w e d g e - t o w e r e d N o r m a n c h u r c h in t h e valley, t o explore t h e fragrance of lanes like green t u n n e l s , to hear

RAIN OR SHINE, HOT OR COLD,

MILE AFTER RELIGIOUS MILE

NOTHING KEEPS

YOU GOING BETTER THAN GATORADE. LIFE IS A SPORT. DRINK IT UP.

t h e whispering h u m b e n e a t h you and t h e rasp of scythes in a hayfield, all this m i g h t well be h o m e o p a t h i c against passion, for it is a
passion itself."
A famous M i n o a n painting shows t h r e e y o u n g m e n leaping

Cycling magazines tend to p r o m o t e a rough, tough, m o r e - m a c h o -

o n t o and doing h a n d s t a n d s o n t h e back of a raging bull. Why d o

t h a n - t h o u image. T h e r e are occasional articles addressed to

w e n e e d t o spark u p o u r lives w i t h danger, and regard t h a t as fun?

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Why are t h e rigors and frights of daily life n o t stressful enough?

World-class speed skater Steve McKinney was a typical Type-T

Why d o we crave stress, especially t h e stress of love affairs? If n e -

personality. His m o t h e r , a jockey, fell off a horse w h e n she was

cessity is t h e m o t h e r of invention, t e d i u m is t h e father of distrac-

seven m o n t h s p r e g n a n t w i t h Steve, w h o was b o r n p r e m a t u r e l y

tion. T h e r e are people for w h o m t h e thrill of c o m p e t i n g isn't

as a result. Volatile, high-energy, intense, h e became a superb

e n o u g h ; t h e y also have to risk d e a t h , injury, or grave loss of self-

d o w n h i l l skier; b u t t h a t t e m p e r a m e n t also g o t h i m tossed off t h e

esteem. It's intriguing t h a t , after doing s o m e t h i n g w h i c h m a y

U. S. Ski Team. T h e n h e tackled h a n g gliding, studied Z e n B u d -

take e n o r m o u s effort or be dangerous, people nonetheless rave

dhism, t o o k u p rock climbing (a 100-foot fall in 1973 resulted in a

"That was fun!"

full body cast). After climbing Everest w i t h o u t Sherpas or oxygen

All t h e evidence suggests t h a t t h e r e is a thrill-seeking p e r -

tanks, h e h a n g glided d o w n from its 21,500-foot West Ridge. Ulti-

sonality. People possessing it require a lot of t u r m o i l , a n d actively

mately, h e developed a passion for speed skiing, in w h i c h h e set a

seek h e a r t - p o u n d i n g m o m e n t s . T h e risk-taking can be m e n t a l

d o w n h i l l w o r l d record of 124 m p h . Above all, h e loved being

or physical. T h e m e n t a l form p r o d u c e s daring artists, scientists,

" l a u n c h e d i n t o a beautiful weird flight" d o w n a glacier, and once

and entertainers, as well as criminals. T h e physical form includes

s u m m e d u p his life in mystical t e r m s as "a search for peace at t h e

daredevils, adventurers, a n d test pilots, as well as b a n k robbers

very h e a r t of m o v e m e n t . . . . I discovered t h e m i d d l e p a t h of still-

and juvenile delinquents. At t h e core of s u c h cravings for a wal-

ness w i t h i n speed, calmness w i t h i n fear." R e p o r t e d t o be aloof

loping good thrill is a n e r v o u s system t h a t needs revving u p to

and a n g r y m u c h of t h e time, h e explained his i n n e r t u m u l t as a

feel n o r m a l . S o m e people are e x t r e m e l y sensitive t o stimuli, and

r e t r e a t from daily r o u t i n e into an ecstasy of calm and renewal.

prefer c a l m i n g activities, b u t o t h e r s are m o r e sedate and d o n ' t re-

"You always lose it in society," h e said. "Up in those high couloirs

spond m u c h t o any stimuli, physical or m e n t a l . T h e y require ex-

I have m y talks w i t h God. O n t h a t speed r u n , t h e r e is t h a t little

t r e m e l y d r a m a t i c events t o b e c o m e aroused. For decades, Frank

flash of peace. Clean, s m o o t h , w h i t e . . . it's a cleansing deal." (No-

Farley and his colleagues at t h e University of Wisconsin have been

tice, once again, a deep player referring to purification.) Ironi-

studying t h e "Type-T Personality," those people w i t h u n u s u a l l y

cally, having survived a t u r b u l e n t life packed w i t h adventures

flexible minds, w h o see p r o b l e m s from m a n y angles, shift easily

and accidents (including a helicopter crash), h e died at t h i r t y -

between t h e concrete and t h e abstract, and find offbeat solutions

seven in o n e of his m o s t passive m o m e n t s , w h e n a d r u n k driver

and insights alluring. They're d r a w n t o ambiguity, novelty, c o n -

crashed into t h e car w h e r e h e lay sleeping.

flict, variety, paradox. T h e y m a y thrive amid t h e daily terrors

of war, b u t r e t u r n h o m e to t h e agonizing b o r e d o m of everyday life. T h e y break rules, resist a u t h o r i t y , sidestep s t r u c t u r e .
They play w i t h ideas, juggle t h e familiar and u n c e r t a i n , explore
intense sensations and emotions, take risks. They tend to be highly
c r e a t i v e o r highly destructive. Studies s h o w t h a t m o r e m e n
t h a n w o m e n fall into this category, a n d t h a t thrill-seeking tends
t o peak between t h e ages of sixteen and twenty-four.

D o s u c h daredevils have a d e a t h wish? N o t according to Keith

Johnsgard, professor e m e r i t u s at San Jose State University in California. A skydiver, motorcyclist, and m o u n t a i n climber himself,
Johnsgard has an u n d e r s t a n d a b l e fascination w i t h t h e subject.
For years, h e has studied skiers w h o crave t h e adrenaline r u s h of
skiing off steep cliffs and p e r f o r m i n g o t h e r equally hair-raising
feats. A l t h o u g h s u c h people are t h o u g h t to c o u r t death, Johnsgard found t h e opposite: "The last t h i n g these people w a n t to do

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is stop living and having these kinds of rushes. If anything, these

of t h e self. Meanwhile, Spanish psychiatrist Jose L. Carrasco has

people have a life wish. T h e y love life, t h e y love to e x p e r i m e n t

found t h a t bullfighters t e n d t o be 17 p e r c e n t lower t h a n m o s t

w i t h life, t h e y w a n t to live for a n o t h e r day of thrill-seeking."

people in m o n o a m i n e oxidase (MAO), an e n z y m e t h a t breaks

Undoubtedly, s o m e thrill-seekers are trying to shore u p a

d o w n excess d o p a m i n e and n o r e p i n e p h r i n e in t h e brain. Low lev-

c r u m b l i n g sense of adequacy; and t h e r e will always be frankly

els of MAO are associated w i t h depression, and o n e class of anti-

foolish people w h o , o n a w h i m , try to fly a p l a n e u n d e r a bridge

depressants w o r k s o n t h e MAO level. Low MAO levels have been

or sail into a h u r r i c a n e o n p u r p o s e . B u t serious, lifelong risk-

linked to a variety of personality traits and disorders, including

takers tend to be altogether m o r e focused, "cool, calculated, and

impulsiveness, schizophrenia, suicidal behavior, and sensation-

thoughtful," according t o Dr. Bruce Ogilvie, professor e m e r i t u s

seeking. According to this theory, t h e dynamics of thrill-seeking

of psychology at San Jose State. "The idea t h a t m o s t high-risk

are similar to those of manic-depressionthrill-seeking p r o -

athletes are disturbed is simply a m y t h . " W h e n Ogilvie decided to

duces a t e m p o r a r y high, like taking cocaine.

do a follow-up study of a g r o u p of professional racing-car drivers

"Sometimes w e act n o t despite risk, b u t because of it," Leonard

he had interviewed five years before, h e was shocked to find t h a t

Zegans of t h e Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute in San Fran-

37 percent of t h e m were either dead or badly injured. If they're

cisco observes. By c h a n n e l i n g d a n g e r o u s urges into acceptable

n o t disturbed, and t h e y d o n ' t have a d e a t h wish, t h e n w h e r e does

jobs or leisure activities, o n e can gain a stronger ego and a sense of

t h e i m p e t u s for thrill-seeking c o m e from?

control. T h e n "actual self-destruction is n o t as feared as t h e de-

T w o i n d e p e n d e n t studies r e p o r t e d in t h e January 1996 issue

s t r u c t i o n of one's sense of self." We evolved to h u n t wild animals,

of Nature Genetics found t h a t a different version of D4DR, a gene

brave t h e elements, and fight predators. O u r bodies still quiver at

t h a t affects h o w t h e brain responds to d o p a m i n e , occurs m o r e

t h e t h o u g h t . Novelty excites, and fear rouses all t h e senses. Most

frequently in people given to "novelty seeking." People w h o pos-

people are h a p p y to control those yearnings, or confine t h e m to

sess t h e gene t e n d to be m o r e excitable, impulsive, thrill-seeking,

roller coasters, scream machines, and m o c k peril. But for others

and avid to explore t h e u n k n o w n . T h e studies w e r e p r o m p t e d by

t h e restraints of a civilized, m a i n l y intellectual life feel suffocat-

a t h e o r y of personality proposed by Robert C l o n i n g e r of Wash-

ing. Apsley C h e r r y - G a r r a r d , t h e English explorer w h o a c c o m p a -

i n g t o n University School of Medicine, St. Louis, in t h e 1980s.

nied Scott o n his ill-fated trip t o t h e Antarctic, w r o t e a gasp-filled

His intriguing research into t h e genetics a n d neurobiology of

b o o k a b o u t it called The Worst fourney in the World, which begins like

personality traits has pointed u p a link b e t w e e n d o p a m i n e and

this: "Polar exploration is at once t h e cleanest and m o s t isolated

novelty-seeking behavior. A lot depends o n t h e blend of genetic

way of having a bad t i m e w h i c h has been devised." He w e n t o n to

factors, w h i c h is w h y s o m e novelty-seeking types m a y be asocial

ask: "Why d o s o m e h u m a n beings desire w i t h such urgency to do

while o t h e r s desire public acclaim. C l o n i n g e r theorizes t h a t ge-

s u c h things: regardless of t h e consequences, voluntarily, c o n -

netics alone doesn't d e t e r m i n e personality, because a person's

scripted by n o o n e b u t themselves? I have tried t o tell how, and

upbringing, e n v i r o n m e n t , and u n i q u e experiences also deeply

w h e n , and where? B u t why. T h a t is a mystery." T h e T a l m u d offers

affect w h a t w e call "character," t h a t evanescent m i x of goals, co-

at least o n e cryptic answer t o t h e question. First it asks "Why d o

operativeness, and spiritual beliefs t h a t t r a n s c e n d t h e clamorings

w e fall into deep chasms?" T h e n it answers "So t h a t w e m a y rise

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is stop living and having these kinds of rushes. If anything, these

of t h e self. Meanwhile, Spanish psychiatrist Jose L. Carrasco has

people have a life wish. T h e y love life, t h e y love to e x p e r i m e n t

found t h a t bullfighters t e n d t o be 17 p e r c e n t lower t h a n m o s t

w i t h life, t h e y w a n t t o live for a n o t h e r day of thrill-seeking."

people in m o n o a m i n e oxidase (MAO), an e n z y m e t h a t breaks

Undoubtedly, s o m e thrill-seekers are trying to shore u p a

d o w n excess d o p a m i n e and n o r e p i n e p h r i n e in t h e brain. Low lev-

c r u m b l i n g sense of adequacy; and t h e r e will always be frankly

els of MAO are associated w i t h depression, and o n e class of anti-

foolish people w h o , o n a w h i m , try to fly a p l a n e u n d e r a bridge

depressants works o n t h e MAO level. Low MAO levels have been

or sail into a h u r r i c a n e o n p u r p o s e . B u t serious, lifelong risk-

linked t o a variety of personality traits and disorders, including

takers tend to be altogether m o r e focused, "cool, calculated, and

impulsiveness, schizophrenia, suicidal behavior, and sensation-

thoughtful," according to Dr. Bruce Ogilvie, professor e m e r i t u s

seeking. According to this theory, t h e dynamics of thrill-seeking

of psychology at San Jose State. "The idea t h a t m o s t high-risk

are similar t o those of manic-depressionthrill-seeking p r o -

athletes are disturbed is simply a m y t h . " W h e n Ogilvie decided to

duces a t e m p o r a r y high, like taking cocaine.

do a follow-up s t u d y of a g r o u p of professional racing-car drivers

"Sometimes w e act n o t despite risk, b u t because of it," Leonard

he had interviewed five years before, h e was shocked to find t h a t

Zegans of t h e Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute in San Fran-

37 percent of t h e m w e r e either dead or badly injured. If they're

cisco observes. By c h a n n e l i n g d a n g e r o u s urges into acceptable

n o t disturbed, and t h e y d o n ' t have a d e a t h wish, t h e n w h e r e does

jobs or leisure activities, o n e can gain a stronger ego and a sense of

t h e i m p e t u s for thrill-seeking c o m e from?

control. T h e n "actual self-destruction is n o t as feared as t h e de-

Two i n d e p e n d e n t studies r e p o r t e d in t h e January 1996 issue

s t r u c t i o n of one's sense of self." We evolved t o h u n t wild animals,

of Nature Genetics found t h a t a different version of D4DR, a gene

brave t h e elements, and fight predators. O u r bodies still quiver at

t h a t affects h o w t h e brain responds to d o p a m i n e , occurs m o r e

t h e t h o u g h t . Novelty excites, and fear rouses all t h e senses. Most

frequently in people given to "novelty seeking." People w h o pos-

people are h a p p y t o control those yearnings, or confine t h e m to

sess t h e gene t e n d to be m o r e excitable, impulsive, thrill-seeking,

roller coasters, scream machines, and m o c k peril. But for o t h e r s

and avid to explore t h e u n k n o w n . T h e studies w e r e p r o m p t e d by

t h e restraints of a civilized, m a i n l y intellectual life feel suffocat-

a t h e o r y of personality proposed by R o b e r t C l o n i n g e r of Wash-

ing. Apsley C h e r r y - G a r r a r d , t h e English explorer w h o a c c o m p a -

i n g t o n University School of Medicine, St. Louis, in t h e 1980s.

nied Scott o n his ill-fated trip to t h e Antarctic, w r o t e a gasp-filled

His intriguing research into t h e genetics and n e u r o b i o l o g y of

book a b o u t it called The Worst fourney in the World, which begins like

personality traits has p o i n t e d u p a link b e t w e e n d o p a m i n e and

this: "Polar exploration is at once t h e cleanest and m o s t isolated

novelty-seeking behavior. A lot depends o n t h e blend of genetic

way of having a bad t i m e w h i c h has been devised." He w e n t o n to

factors, w h i c h is w h y s o m e novelty-seeking types m a y be asocial

ask: "Why do s o m e h u m a n beings desire w i t h s u c h urgency to d o

while others desire public acclaim. C l o n i n g e r theorizes t h a t ge-

s u c h things: regardless of t h e consequences, voluntarily, con-

netics alone doesn't d e t e r m i n e personality, because a person's

scripted by n o o n e b u t themselves? I have tried to tell how, and

upbringing, e n v i r o n m e n t , and u n i q u e experiences also deeply

w h e n , and where? B u t why. T h a t is a mystery." T h e T a l m u d offers

affect w h a t we call "character," t h a t evanescent m i x of goals, co-

at least o n e cryptic answer to t h e question. First it asks "Why d o

operativeness, and spiritual beliefs t h a t t r a n s c e n d t h e clamorings

w e fall into deep chasms?" T h e n it answers "So t h a t we m a y rise

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again." Marco Pallis, a musician, entomologist, and m o u n t a i n e e r ,

t h e body's mindless response to novelty or change. Once an ani-

gives this answer:

mal's curiosity is excited a n d it grows rigidly alert, t h e arousal

doesn't quit until t h e a n i m a l explores t h e stimulus, investigates

Only he who has attained the summit and made himself one

t h e sensory puzzle, and can rest assured t h a t all is well. T h a t

with it knows the solution of the m y s t e r y . . . . So long

cyclical p a t t e r n of arousal, tension, fear, suspense, followed by

as there yet exists a step to be taken there are alternatives and

a n i m p o r t a n t r e w a r d r e l a x a t i o n of t h e b o d y and a sense of

hence there are possibilities of comparison, but at the sum-

quiet, safety, and well-beingoffers an ancient pleasure t h a t

mit all alternative routes become one; every distinction

m a y lie at t h e h e a r t of thrill-seeking. D e a t h and rebirth, purifica-

between them, and therefore every opposition, is spon-

tion t h r o u g h ordeal, p h a n t o m c o m p a n i o n s appearing as guides,

taneously reconciled. The summit itself not only occupies no

and out-of-the-body experiences are frequent motifs in risk-

space, although the whole mountain is virtually contained in

taking tales. Stretching from t h e bedrock of t h e ordinary to t h e

it, but it is also outside time and all succession, and only the

p i n n a c l e of perfection fills t h e risk-takers w i t h rare confidence,

"eternal present" reigns there.

s t r e n g t h , and o m n i c o m p e t e n c e . It doesn't always h a p p e n o n

every climb or flight. It only h a p p e n s if it's voluntary, and it can take

N o t i m e is m o r e tense t h a n t h e intimate, o n g o i n g present, w h e r e

practice to locate t h e best field of play and m a s t e r t h e necessary

t h e t r u t h s are eternal. As Pavlov found, any n o v e l t y h o w e v e r

focus. As Jack Kerouac once quipped: "Walking o n w a t e r wasn't

i r r e l e v a n t m a y distract a n a n i m a l from its behavior. Instinct

built in a day."

tively t u r n i n g toward t h e i n t e r r u p t i o n , t h e a n i m a l b e c o m e s

Thrill-seeking is a passionate form of deep play, at o n e far end

h e a r t - p o u n d i n g l y aware. This "orienting" reflex, as it's called,

o f t h e s p e c t r u m . M a n y people stop s h o r t of nerve-frazzling jolts

alerts and arouses t h e animal, b u t also fills its senses w i t h as m u c h

and c o n s t a n t peril, b u t still seek t h e strange, t h e exotic, t h e in-

n e w i n f o r m a t i o n as possible, while blocking o u t any previous

tense. As t h e y fine-tune t h e imagination for real out-of-the-body

plans or distractions. Surprise, novelty, s u d d e n change, conflict,

travel, t h e y leave t h e trappings of self behind and pitch an o u t -

uncertainty, or increased complexity instinctively trigger an ani-

post in a wild and mysterious country.

mal's orienting reflex, and p r e p a r e it for e m e r g e n c y action. By its

n a t u r e , novelty excites. By providing t h e u n e x p e c t e d , it shifts o n e
off balance, forces o n e to release one's s t r a n g l e h o l d o n habits a n d

Perched in small gondolas b e n e a t h w h a t look like gigantic Christ-

improvise, learn n e w c u s t o m s . This is especially t r u e of "relative

m a s o r n a m e n t s , t h r e e t e a m s of hot-air balloonists recently set

novelty," w h e n things c h a n g e just e n o u g h to be noticeable. Total

o u t t o circle t h e world. T h e g r a n d e r t h e quest, t h e graver t h e

novelty can seem different e n o u g h t o be meaningless; radical

danger. Hitching a ride o n 100-mph jet streams, climbing to

changes can be ignored. B u t partial novelty m a k e s sense u p t o a

30,000 feet at times, balloonists m u s t fight storms, mechanical

point, yet requires a n e w response, and so it has t o be t a k e n seri-

b r e a k d o w n s , and hostile armies below. A l t h o u g h they reached

ously. O u r basic curiosity, as well as o u r passion for mysteries, ex-

t h e s a m e altitude as Everest's climbers, a n d also w o r e oxygen

ploration, and a d v e n t u r e m a y spring from t h e orienting reflex,

masks, m a n y fewer balloonists have traveled in those high halls.

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O n e o f t h e last great aeronautical challenges, ballooning a r o u n d

from his m i n d w h e n h e balloons. T h e sheer m a r v e l of

flight

t h e w o r l d ignites o u r sense of a d v e n t u r e . Playing w i t h quest and

t h a t w e can teach u n w i e l d y m e t a l to fly w i t h such delicacy

challenge is p a r t of o u r evolutionary heritage. W h e n we o p e n u p

continues t o astonish us all. Like o u r ancient forebears, w e t o o

t h e footlocker of o u r h u m a n i t y and look at t h e family p h o t o -

exclaim: It flies! Small w o n d e r S t o n e Age tribespeople of Papua

graphs inside, it's n o t always easy to recognize t h e features. O n e

N e w G u i n e a greeted o n e c h a r t e r pilot w i t h bananas for his air-

of t h e m is t h e need for quests, a n o t h e r to slip back i n t o t h e ebb

p l a n e and a desire t o k n o w w h a t sex it was. T h e plane's wheels

a n d flow of n a t u r e , still a n o t h e r t o climb to t h e highest p o i n t o n e

w e r e t h e first wheels t h e y h a d ever seen.

can, to enter t h e r e a l m o f t h e gods. In ballooning, all of t h o s e are

O n e m o r n i n g a few years ago, at Virginia Beach, I w a t c h e d

in play. Ballooning tantalizes o u r psyches, and also r e m i n d s us of

pilots from Oceana Naval Base fly delta wings and F-14s, doing

s o m e t h i n g We tend to take for granted: t h a t h u m a n life c h a n g e d

scissor-edge t u r n s a n d f o r m a t i o n m o v e s across t h e sky. T h e y

radically, irreversibly, w h e n w e learned t o fly.

w e r e p r a c t i c i n g for war, b u t t h a t screech of m e t a l o n t h o u g h t

H u m a n flight is less t h a n a h u n d r e d years old, still m a r v e l o u s

was far, far away from t h e obvious fun t h e y w e r e having, pegging

and puzzling as riding a dragon, yet it has t r a n s f o r m e d o u r lives.

tight t u r n s over m y parked car and filling t h e sky w i t h contrails

We n o longer c o n d u c t r o m a n c e s as p e o p l e did before planes, n o w

before t h e y r e t u r n e d t o their a e r o d r o m e .

t h a t we. can date and m a r r y over m a n y t i m e zones. O u r relation-

Like a shamanistic language, t h e lure of flight speaks t o p e o -

ships w i t h o u r families have changed: we can see t h e m often;

ple in different idioms. We can blast rockets t o t h e stars. We can

good-bye is n o t forever. We n o l o n g e r fight wars m a i n l y w i t h o u r

race across t h e sky o n fixed wings. Ballooning appeals t o t h e m o r e

neighbors, and feel each battle o n o u r pulses; n o w it's abstract,

l a n g u o r o u s and l o w - t e c h side of o u r n a t u r e ; it's a d v e n t u r e in an

global, predicated on aerial surveillance. Because people from

antique m o o d . A l t h o u g h I learned t o pilot small high-winged

Australia, P u e r t o Rico, or Japan can n o w easily m e e t and m a r r y

planes, from t i m e to t i m e I sampled gliders and balloons. Floating

people from California or Peru or China, t h e g e n e p o o l is c h a n g -

slowly above landscape and civilization, t h r o u g h t h e f a t h o m s of

ing; we w o n ' t look t h e way w e d o for long. H o w we e a r n o u r liv-

sky, o n e is left breathless in a w o r l d that's curiously silent b u t for

ing has changed, h o w we e d u c a t e o u r y o u n g , h o w we vacation,

t h e s h a k e n blankets of t h e wind and t h e occasional sighs of h o t

h o w w e choose o u r leaders, h o w w e t h i n k of news, h o w w e raise

air. W h a t a treat t o stroll t h r o u g h t h e veils of twilight, t o float

crops, c o n d u c t police work, and give e m e r g e n c y aid. All because

across t h e sky like a slowly f o r m i n g t h o u g h t . Flying an airplane,

of o u r recent ability to fly. It has c h a n g e d o u r n o t i o n s of privacy,

o n e usually travels t h e shortest distance between t w o points. Bal-

observation, and p o l l u t i o n , and w h a t w e m e a n by a pilgrimage.

loonists can dawdle, lollygag, cast their fate t o t h e wind, and be-

O n e o f t h e first words we t h i n k h u m a n s spoke, recorded in I n d o -

c o m e p a r t o f t h e ebb a n d flow of n a t u r e , p a r t o f t h e sky itself, held

E u r o p e a n 2&p\eu, m e a n t : It flies! It is an ancient longing.

aloft like any bird, leaf, or spore. In t h a t silent realm, far from t h e

I m u s t say I smile w h e n I t h i n k of t h e thirty-nine-year-old

mischief and toil of society, all o n e hears is t h e u r g e n t b r e a t h i n g

psychiatrist-balloonist h e a d i n g this year's Swiss t e a m . W h a t does

o f t h e w i n d and, n o w a n d t h e n , a n inspiring gasp of h o t air. T h e r e

h e m a k e of his devotion to soft objects t e n stories tall, objects t h a t

are s o m e t r u t h s a b o u t t h a t w o r l d t h a t are only k n o w a b l e from

can lose lift and fail? B u t p e r h a p s symbols are t h e farthest t h i n g

aloft. Flying has c h a n g e d h o w we imagine o u r planet, whose

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m o s t exotic barrios are n o w as close as a jetway, and w h i c h w e

answered t h a t t h e r e are things you do even t h o u g h t h e y m a y be

have seen w h o l e from space, so t h a t even t h e farthest nations are

frightening, n o t because you d o n ' t feel fear, b u t because k n o w l -

political and ecological neighbors. "If this stillness was t h e ulti-

edge is a tonic. W h o can say at w h a t stage fear becomes r a p t u r o u s

m a t e e n d of action," a u t h o r a n d F-104 pilot Yukio M i s h i m a writes

interest? B u t it does, even t h o u g h o n e d o e s n ' t lose t h e fear. "En-

in Sun and Steel, " t h e n t h e sky a b o u t m e , t h e clouds far below, t h e

thusiastic" originally m e a n t being o u t of c o n t r o l and acting crazy

sea gleaming b e t w e e n t h e clouds, even t h e setting s u n , m i g h t

(because possessed by a god). H o w could I resist seeing everyone

well be events, things, w i t h i n myself. At this distance from t h e

I've ever k n o w n , everyone I've ever loved, m y w h o l e experience

e a r t h , intellectual a d v e n t u r e and physical a d v e n t u r e could join

of life floating in o n e place o n a single p l a n e t u n d e r n e a t h me?

h a n d s w i t h o u t t h e slightest difficulty. This was t h e p o i n t t h a t I

had always been striving towards."

Driving t h r o u g h t h e h e a r t of t h e c o u n t r y to t h e small u n i versity t o w n of Lawrence, I a d m i r e d t h e dark-green fields of

B u t t h e r e is an even quieter p l a y g r o u n d , beyond p l a n e o r bal-

standing grain a n d t h e deep b r o w n c o r d u r o y of t h e p l o u g h e d

loon, a spot high above all t h e w e a t h e r s o f t h e world, a r e a l m I've

farmlands. T h e screening process began in t h e School of Jour-

always d r e a m e d of visiting. That's w h e r e I w o u l d pilgrimage to, if

nalism, with color and black-and-white photographs, while I held

I could, m y perfect locale for deep play. In m y m i n d ' s eye, I pic-

m y n a m e o h a placard u n d e r m y chin, prison style. As t h e y posed

t u r e Earth as an oasis in t h e n i g h t sprawl of space, o n e c o m p a c t

m e w i t h m y s h o u l d e r to t h e camera, chin up, head tilted, I re-

ball t h a t contains m a n y sacred places a n d all t h e life w e k n o w , a

m e m b e r e d w h e n I'd last seen portraits like this-in high.school

beginning and an e n d of countless h u m a n journeys, t h e alpha

yearbooks. T h e coy s h o u l d e r t u r n , t h e all-American smile.

a n d o m e g a for all of o u r imaginings, t h e container of time, and

In t h e video r o o m , I received an envelope w i t h a single sheet

w h a t w e m e a n w h e n w e say t h e w o r d "whole." I l o n g t o travel

of w h i t e p a p e r inside. " W h a t was y o u r response t o t h e events of

to t h e stars and visit o t h e r planets, b u t also t o b e h o l d o u r o w n

January 28?" it asked. T h e Challenger explosion. S t u n n e d by their

world as a planet, t o see t h e family of h u m a n k i n d u n d e r o n e star-

televised deaths, I h a d w r i t t e n a p o e m b o t h m o u r n f u l and eager

shingled roof. O n e day in 1986, w i t h high hopes, a n d letters of ref-

addressed to t h e crew. Four m o n t h s later, Kansas seemed light-

erence from Parade's editor-in-chief Walter A n d e r s o n , p o e t May

years away from those events. Flooded w i t h deep, partly explored

Swenson, and a s t r o n o m e r Carl Sagan, I applied for t h e Journalist

m e m o r i e s , I w o n d e r e d w h e r e o n e a r t h to begin. After a few

in Space project, a n d was thrilled t o be chosen as a semifinalist.

m i n u t e s , t h e c a m e r a began rolling, m y m o u t h began m o v i n g ,

However, t h a t m e a n t auditioning in an o t h e r w o r l d l y locale.

a n d w o r d s filled t h e r o o m . A c a n n o n a d e of provocative questions followed:

SP-.,?SS?-SS,;

I flew to Lawrence, Kansas. M y curiosity a b o u t t h e w o r l d paced

"What c o m m e r c i a l gain d o you h o p e to realize from going

u p o n t h e shuttle?"

like a wild a n i m a l in a cage. As a lifelong fan of space exploration

"Do you t h i n k NASA is t o o public-relations oriented?"

and a pilot, I w a n t e d to step above t h e sky t o w h e r e d r e a m s are

After eight m i n u t e s , a y o u n g m a n m o t i o n e d Cut!, and I col-

weightless and see t h e r o u n d walls of m y h o m e . "Aren't you

lected m y t h o u g h t s and t h e just-taped interview, w h i c h I carried

afraid?" a wire-service r e p o r t e r h a d asked o n l y t h e day before. I'd

along like t h e specimen it was, t o take a seat in t h e hallway.

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Sitting o n a low bench, I waited as m a n y o t h e r s h a d before m e ,

zine, for w h i c h I regularly w r o t e essays o n Americana, and I pre-

including o n e climber of Everest and a m a n w h o wished to broad-

s u m e d t h a t Parade's readership of over 82 million included people

cast from his wheelchair. In a m o m e n t , a TV newscaster from

from m a n y walks of life. For a n o t h e r , it ignored t h e u r g e n t need

H o u s t o n emerged from t h e r o o m . H a n d s o m e , dapper, deeply

t o send aloft writers and o t h e r artists of all sorts w h o have m o r e

m o d u l a t e d , h e was all g r o o m i n g and packaging. A s t u d e n t aide

i l l u m i n a t i n g things t o say a b o u t t h e experience t h a n "gee whiz." I

walked h i m u p and d o w n t h e hallway as if h e w e r e a racehorse

argued t h a t w e needed to send u p o u r keenest observers, to help

cooling d o w n .

us u n d e r s t a n d as p o i g n a n t l y as possible w h a t life is like in space,

W h e n it was m y t u r n , I w e n t i n t o a long, n a r r o w r o o m at t h e
far end of which stood tall windows looking o u t o n t o t h e c a m -

w h a t t h e w h o l e e a r t h looks like, and h o w m u c h t h e view from

space can teach us.

pus. I could see t h r o u g h t h e m to w h e r e s t u d e n t s w e r e playing

O t h e r questions focused less o n w h a t I sensed was their real

Frisbee or h u r r y i n g to their last classes o f t h e day, and t h e football

misgiving about m e t h a t I w o u l d be t h o u g h t t o o intellectual,

team's m a s c o t a giant b i r d w a s s t r u t t i n g across t h e grass. I

t o o idealistic, n o t an i t - c o u l d - b e - m e - u p - t h e r e American. N o t

was t h e last t o audition, t h e only literary writer. D u r i n g t h e

e n o u g h of a t e a m player or a pool reporter, n o t s o m e o n e w h o

t w e n t y - m i n u t e interview, m y examiners r e t u r n e d to t h e same

could be trusted to express conventional values w i t h o u t interpret-

key questions, so I k n e w w h a t e l e m e n t s of m y application t r o u -

ing or c o m m e n t i n g t o o readily. In short: a willing propagandist.

bled t h e m .

T h e n an invisible bell rang, and I left as I a r r i v e d a face, a

"How will you ever m a n a g e t o be a p o o l reporter?" t h e y k e p t

n a m e , and a y e a r n i n g a n d stood in a n a r r o w hallway. They

asking me. For a m o m e n t , I was d u m b f o u n d e d . W h a t was a p o o l

w e r e n o t ready to send u p an artist. M o s t o f t h e interview process

reporter? I h a d never heard t h e t e r m before. I sidestepped t h e

h a d t o do w i t h being suitable for t h e media. They m a d e clear t h a t

question. Finally they asked m e straight out: " H o w will you be

n o t h i n g was as i m p o r t a n t as being videogenic. W h a t an e n o r -

c o n t e n t to relay facts to news gatherers o n e a r t h w h e n y o u r writ-

m o u s a m o u n t of energy NASA was spending o n public relations.

ing is so personal and subjective?"

This was w h y Louis F r i e d m a n , Bruce M u r r a y , Carl Sagan, and

T h e y w e r e n ' t looking for s o m e o n e to bring insight or a finely

o t h e r a s t r o n o m e r s h a d founded T h e Planetary Society, to lobby

t u n e d eye to t h e experience, b u t for a r e p o r t e r w h o w o u l d relay

for and p r o m o t e t h e exploration of space, and w h y I agreed to be

their news. They were also uneasy a b o u t m y lack of broadcasting

a m e m b e r of its advisory board. In an ideal world, we all w o u l d be

experience: aboard t h e space shuttle, a r e p o r t e r w o u l d be m a i n l y

deft caretakers of o u r p l a n e t and solar system, unflagging cele-

electronic. A r m e d w i t h samples of m y work, including an o n -

brants of life's variety, a n d bold inquirers into t h e startling

the-senses a c c o u n t of w a t c h i n g a n i g h t l a u n c h o f t h e space s h u t -

universe w e b o t h navigate and find ourselves at sea in. I k n e w

tle, they r e m i n d e d m e t h a t I have a distinctive style.

T h e Planetary Society didn't believe it could single-handedly

"How will t r u c k drivers identify w i t h you?" t h e y asked. At

achieve t h a t a l c h e m y of m i n d , from t h e baseness depicted in t h e

first, I wasn't sure h o w to answer that. For o n e thing, it was

news everyday t o t h e gold of a r e n e w e d sense of w o n d e r , aware-

insulting to t r u c k drivers. I was being sponsored by Parade m a g a -

ness, and responsibility. But it offered t h e right a t t i t u d e for us to

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follow. We are beings w h o s e h a l l m a r k is t h e ability t o marvel. So

d a n g e r o u s sea, as w e abide by laws as old as t h e universe, o u r per-

I was pleased to be associated w i t h its sense of celebration and

spective o n life will deepen, o u r sense of gravity will shift. We have

inquiry.

p l a n t e d a workplace in w h a t used t o be heaven, and evicted t h e

T h e repercussions from

the

Challenger's explosion

were

quickly followed by o t h e r vivid catastrophes, and t h e Journalist

in Space p r o g r a m faded away. B u t w h e n NASA revives it, I h o p e it
w o n ' t be limited to astro-journalists. I h o p e NASA will have t h e
w i s d o m to send u p a crateful of artists and thinkers. True, they're
a gamble. They m i g h t say s o m e t h i n g wise or p r o f o u n d , t h e y
m i g h t have a sense of h u m o r , t h e y m i g h t tell t h e t r u t h , indeed
t h e y m i g h t tell t h e deepest t r u t h s . T h e real news isn't a b o u t w h a t
satellite was l a u n c h e d , or w h a t a systems specialist h a d for breakfast, or even h o w t h e medical experiments are going. T h e real
news is t h a t w e live o n a p l a n e t w h o s e caretakers w e a r e a single, fragile, delicately balanced world. F r o m space, Earth appears
to have n o wars, n o boundaries, n o political u n r e s t . Its p r o b l e m s
are global, as are its spectacles and wonders. T h a t will give us
s o m e t h i n g n e w to t h i n k about, and s o m e t h i n g old t o cherish.
W h e n space flight becomes c o m m o n p l a c e , t h e idea of quest
and exploration will change, and setting land or ballooning
records m a y seem quaintly antique. T h e r e will be vaster oceans t o
navigate, w i t h t h e h e l p of exotic technologies, and concepts like
"self-reliance" will have to be redefined. W h a t wonderful fields of
deep play await us in space! After t h e first flashes of novelty wear
off, w h a t games will w e invent for p u r e exhilaration? W h a t p i n n a cles will w e s u r m o u n t just for fun? W h a t risks will thrill-seekers
devise? W h a t creative mischief will artists d r e a m up? Certainly
o u r wordplay will flourish. We will b e c o m e argot-nauts. Even
n o w people refer to "jettisoning" an old idea or possible "reentry"
into t h e workforce.
Once we imagined o u r gods patrolling t h e halls of m o r n i n g
at precisely t h e altitude astronauts routinely visit. Perched high
above t h e l a n d m a r k s a n d affairs of e a r t h , o n tiny islands adrift in a

s u p e r n a t u r a l beings w h o lived there. In t h a t breathless sanctuary,

w h a t will seem sacred?

C f,1

CHAPT ER FIV E

/,i
j
T 7 l 6

C y O S p & l

t o

Earth, isn't this

what you want,
rising up
inside us invisibly once more?
Rainer Maria Rilke from Duino Elegies
. .. people who spend most of their natural lives riding iron bicycles over the rocky roadsteads of this
parish get their personalities mixed up with the personalities of their bicycle as a result of the interchanging of the atoms of each of them and you
would be surprised at the number of people in these
parts who nearly are half people and half bicycles. .. .
And you would be flabbergasted at the number of
bicycles that are half-human almost half-man, halfpartaking of humanity. . ..
Flann O'Brien, The Third Policeman

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n o t h u m a n o i d at all. He describes himself as an "existential Christian." I ' m n o t sure w h e r e h e stands o n t h e Resurrection. My beI he baby b o o m e r s are e n t e r i n g a m o r e spiritual phase of their

lief t h a t Christ was probably a barefoot preacher, faith healer, and

lives. M a n y television shows and national magazines have b e g u n

political reformer doesn't a l a r m h i m . He m a k e s n o effort to con-

to address this. I d o n ' t t h i n k it's a coincidence t h a t o n e friend is

vert m e ; I d o n ' t debate theology w i t h h i m . We b o t h believe in t h e

writing a screenplay about Elijah appearing in t h e flesh at a high-

i n t i m a t e p o w e r of a personal faith, w h a t e v e r t h a t m a y be, t h e

society seder, a n o t h e r is writing a novel a b o u t t h e spiritualist

n e e d for transcendence, t h e holy interrelatedness of all living

Margaret Fox, and I ' m writing this book. W h e n people reject o r -

things, and t h e greater glory of w o n d e r . Those are powerful feel-

ganized religion, they often fill t h a t need w i t h deep play of o n e

ings; t h u s w e have m u c h in c o m m o n . We disagree only in t h e de-

sort or a n o t h e r .

tails, n o t in t h e intensity or essential n a t u r e of o u r spirituality. We

I have a minister friend whose s e r m o n s are wide-ranging a n d

earthy. He c a m e of age in t h e seventies, and p a r t o o k of t h e ex-

are b o t h deeply religious people, even t h o u g h h e believes in a

s u p r e m e being and I do n o t .

cesses we all did, espoused atheism, and happily explored t h e

O n e p r o b l e m w i t h religion today is t h a t it is m a i n l y n o n -

m a n y provinces of sin. In recent years, h e u n d e r w e n t a r a t h e r

religious. We have lost t h e distinction between a t r u e religious

public divorce. He is n o t perfect. Insightful, s m a r t , enthusiastic,

experience and belonging to an organized religion. A religious ex-

inspirational, devoted to his ministry, b u t n o t perfect. I imagine

perience is mystical and w h o l l y subjective; it doesn't include

his congregation finds t h a t refreshing. W h e n h e counsels his

o t h e r people. It isn't a set of traditions, laws, d o g m a , and ruling

parishioners, t h e y k n o w t h a t h e has walked in their shoes. A n d

hierarchies, w h i c h leave n o r o o m for personal r e v e l a t i o n s

h e encourages his congregation t o play, because, as h e p u t it in a

precisely t h e sort of m o m e n t s felt by t h e founders o f t h e religion.

s e r m o n o n e day: "In play w e see n e w possibilities, n e w begin-

T h a t sense of being stirred by powerful u n s e e n forces, a c c o m p a -

nings, n e w colors, n e w avenues, and that's w h a t h a p p e n s w h e n

nied by a great spiritual awakening, in w h i c h life is viewed w i t h

we play at prayer." To play at s o m e t h i n g is t o fully engage it, "to

fresh eyes, has been replaced, in m a n y cases, by t h e emotionless,

have a role in s o m e t h i n g m u c h larger t h a n ourselves, t o be

repetitious, and m u n d a n e .

p a r t o f t h e script, to be p a r t o f t h e play, to be p a r t o f t h e action."

Organized religion is an a t t e m p t to c o m m u n i c a t e religious

W h e n prayer becomes proper, serious, a n d somber, h e explained,

m y s t e r y to people w h o have n o t experienced it, and m o s t often

it loses its vitality. T h u s h e encouraged his parishioners to sing or

t h e task falls to people w h o haven't experienced it either. W h a t

dance while they prayed, t o smile, r u n , stand o n their heads, even

is d e e m e d sacred in organized religion? N o t t h e original reve-

laugh while t h e y prayed. "Play w h e n you pray," h e urged t h e m .

lation, b u t t h e robes, t h e ceremonies, t h e houses of worship,

"Do you t h i n k G o d minds? D o you t h i n k w e look silly and simple

t h e scriptures, t h e ministers or rabbis. T h e original sacredness

in God's eyes?"

disappears in d o g m a and ritualphysical m a n i f e s t a t i o n s t h a t

We get o n fine, even t h o u g h h e u n d e r s t a n d s t h a t I ' m an ag-

b e c o m e holy in and of themselves and are worshiped l o n g after

nostic. His concept of g o d t h e image t h a t forms in his m i n d

their m e a n i n g is lost. Essentially, it is a form of idolatry. F u r t h e r -

w h e n h e praysis n o t a long-bearded w e s t e r n male. Actually, it's

m o r e , people w h o dare t o proclaim themselves mystics or

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prophets, and declare t h e y are in personal c o m m u n i c a t i o n w i t h

Letting go of t h e familiar requires m e n t a l and e m o t i o n a l risk,

God, are ostracized or worse. It's ironic t h a t religions n o w r e p u d i -

s o m e t h i n g w h i c h artists thirst for. "Long have you timidly waded

ate t h e very kind of people and d r a m a s o n w h i c h t h e y w e r e

h o l d i n g a p l a n k to t h e shore," Walt W h i t m a n , in Leaves of Grass,

founded. As a result, t h e biggest t h r e a t t o t h e religious experience

urges, "Let y o u r soul stand cool and c o m p o s e d before a million

m a y well c o m e from organized religion itself.

universes." W h e n m y writer friend Brenda kayaks w i t h w h a l e s

T h e p r o b l e m is t h a t core religious experience has n o t h i n g to

o r c a s i n t h e San Juan islands, it m a y be a creative enterprise t h a t

do w i t h formal religion, or for t h a t m a t t e r w i t h a s u p e r n a t u r a l

will lead t o an essay, b u t she also feels r a p t u r e in w h a t is, essen-

being. Evolution has equipped us w i t h religious instincts, b u t

tially, a hallowed experience.

w h a t we do w i t h t h a t gift m a k e s us distinctively h u m a n . We

Because o u r vocabulary offers few ways to describe religious

order it, modify it, dress it up, elaborate it even m o r e , translate it,

events, except in c h u r c h l y terms, I do resort to these from t i m e

t h e n redefine it and start all over again. We play w i t h t h e instinct.

to time. Occasionally readers have pointed o u t t h a t m y books

T h e basis for all religions is o u r n a t u r a l ability to enter altered

include s u c h w o r d s as sacred, grace, reverence, worship, sanctity, and bene-

states of consciousness, in w h i c h w e feel h e i g h t e n e d awareness

diction, and t h e y therefore w o n d e r a b o u t m y religious beliefs.

and a sense of revelation, insight, fearful awe, and h a r m o n y . Reli-

S o m e t i m e s I tease t h a t I belong to a special religious order: O u r

gion offers a passionate form of deep play, w h o s e peak m o m e n t s

Sisters of Perpetual M o t i o n . Or perhaps: T h e Seven-Day O p p o r -

are as subjective as t h e y are intense. People create their o w n pri-

tunists. T h e t r u t h is t h a t I belong to n o organized religion. I do

vate religions.

n o t require a g o v e r n i n g god, and I've seen n o evidence of one. If a

By glorifying religion as a special sphere of life, organized reli-

god exists, fine. If n o t , it doesn't affect h o w I feel about t h e u n i -

gions t e n d t o separate us from t h e sacredness of t h e rest of life.

verse. I a m simply a n Earth Ecstatic. T h e tenets of this personal

A b r a h a m H. Maslow complains t h a t "The experience o f t h e holy,

religion are few: I believe in t h e sanctity of life and t h e perfectibil-

t h e sacred, t h e divine, of awe, of creatureliness, of s u r r e n d e r , of

ity of people. All life is sacred, life loves life, and we are capable of

mystery, of piety, thanksgiving, gratitude, self-dedication, if t h e y

i m p r o v i n g o u r behavior t o w a r d others. As basic as t h a t stance is,

h a p p e n at all, t e n d to be confined to a single day of t h e week, to

for m e it is also tonic, deeply spiritual, and c o m p l e t e i t glorifies

h a p p e n u n d e r o n e roof only of o n e kind of s t r u c t u r e only, u n d e r

t h e lowliest life-form and encompasses worlds. Notice, in describ-

certain triggering circumstances only, to rest heavily o n t h e pres-

ing m y beliefs, I used t h e t e r m Earth ecstasy, n o t rapture. To m e , ec-

ence of certain traditional, powerful, b u t intrinsically irrelevant,

stasy has a m o r e religious tone, and conveys a sincerity and

stimuli, e.g., organ music, incense, c h a n t i n g of a particular kind,

devotional rigor we d o n ' t usually associate w i t h r a p t u r e . But a m I

certain regalia, and o t h e r arbitrary triggers."

e n r a p t u r e d by nature? Often.

T h e m o s t religious people I k n o w are nontheistic. T h e y expe-

T h e need for transcendence, c o m m u n i o n , ritual, and revela-

rience m a n y t r a n s c e n d e n t m o o d s , and s o m e t i m e s even use reli-

tion is so powerful. If you d o n ' t believe in a god, t h e n w h e r e do

gious t e r m i n o l o g y to describe s u c h peak m o m e n t s . Artists often

you turn? O n e o f t h e curious p r e d i c a m e n t s of o u r era is having to

fall into this category. T h e familiar makes life m o r e comfortable

choose between religion and spirituality. We associate o u r high-

and less frightening, b u t it also lulls, w h i c h stifles e n t h u s i a s m .

est values w i t h religion r a t h e r t h a n w i t h o u r i n n a t e personality.

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H u m a n s are creatures w h o strive, w h o glorify. Science having explained away a need for a s u p e r n a t u r a l god, w e have forgotten
t h a t t h e questions posed by religion are nonetheless b o n a fide,
and t h a t we t u r n to religions t o fill legitimate needs. As Karen
A r m s t r o n g observes, in A History of God,
One of the reasons why religion seems irrelevant to us today
is that many of us no longer have the sense that we are surrounded by the unseen. Our scientific culture educates us to
focus our attention on the physical and material world in
front of us. This method of looking at the world has achieved
great results. One of its consequences, however, is that we
have, as it were, edited out the sense of the "spiritual" or the

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S C H O O L PRAYER

In the name ofthe daybreak

and the eyelids of morning
and the wayfaring moon
and the night when it departs,
I swear I will not dishonor
my soul with hatred,
but offer myself humbly
as a guardian of nature,
as a healer of misery,
as a messenger of wonder,
as an architect ofpeace.

"holy" which pervades the lives of people in more traditional

societies at every level and which was once an essential component of our h u m a n experience ofthe w o r l d . . .

In the name ofthe sun and its mirrors

and the day that embraces it
and the cloud veils drawn over it

People have lost spirituality from their lives, a sense of belonging

to t h e pervasive mystery of n a t u r e , of being finite in face o f t h e infinite, of m i n i m i z i n g themselves and feeling s u r r o u n d e d by p o w erful and u n s e e n forces. They've also lost a c o n c e r n w i t h s u c h
higher values as compassion, altruism, forgiveness, and mercy.

and the uttermost night

and the male and the female
and the plants bursting with seed
and the crowning seasons of thefireflyand the apple,

Dispensing w i t h G o d does n o t have t o m e a n dispensing w i t h a

sense of t h e sacred and its a t t e n d a n t values. It's n a t u r a l for h u m a n s to crave spirituality. However, belief in a god or gods is o p tional and takes m a n y forms a r o u n d t h e world, from p a n t h e i s m
to M o r m o n i s m . C h i l d r e n learn t h a t being spiritual must include a
s u p e r n a t u r a l god, and t h a t n o t believing in G o d m e a n s n o t b o t h -

I will honor all life

wherever and in whatever form
it may dwellon Earth my home,
and in the mansions ofthe stars.

ering w i t h spiritual values. W h a t a mistake t h a t lesson is. I believe

Religions share m a n y types of rituals and liturgies, b u t vary

avidly in t h e separation of c h u r c h and state. I d o n ' t w a n t children

widely in details. People are alike e n o u g h to be predictable, even

forced to worship s o m e o n e else's god, b u t I d o w a n t t h e m t o

b o r i n g sometimes, b u t just different e n o u g h to have conflict-

develop a spiritual n a t u r e , and b e c o m e c o n c e r n e d w i t h h i g h e r

ing versions of each event, upset one's best plans, and keep life

values. That's h o w I c a m e t o write t h e following h y m n :

engrossingly off-balance. We all indulge in play, b u t w e play

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differently. Most of us p u r s u e r a p t u r e , b u t define it differently.

Years later, h e c a m e to C o r n e l l to give a talk. Bailey Hall was

S o m e people are satisfied w i t h t h e easy, reliable r a p t u r e of sex or

packed w i t h d r u n k fraternity boys and o t h e r s t u d e n t s o u t for a

drugs. O t h e r s desire t h e extraordinary. S o m e need play to be pri-

lark. T h e crowd was r o w d y and c a m e t o be entertained by a

vate, others public. S o m e recoil from t h e r a p t u r e of deep play,

slightly ridiculous icon of their parents' y o u t h . As unlikely as t h e

whose intensity and n e a r lack of control scares t h e m . O n e t h i n g

d u o sounds, Leary h a d been traveling t h e c o u n t r y w i t h G. G o r -

we have in c o m m o n is o u r need to record those differences. We

d o n Liddy, doing s t a n d - u p routines at c o m e d y clubs and e n c o u r -

keep diaries, create art, write letters and books. People w h o sus-

aging t h e use of hallucinogens. It was a friend of Leary's, chemist

pect they're going to die soon desperately w a n t o t h e r s t o k n o w

Albert Hoffman, w h o developed LSD in 1943, and took his first

s o m e t h i n g about t h e m . We're driven t o leave o u r stamp, a silhou-

hallucinogenic trip while o n a bicycle; h e d r o p p e d acid before

ette of ourselves, o n t h e world. We're fiercely attached to o u r

leaving w o r k and experienced fantastic imagery and m e n t a l bab-

identity, t o o u r u n i q u e n e s s , to t h e m i r a c l e t h a t w e are living be-

ble as h e cycled h o m e . But m y generation r e m e m b e r s Leary as

ings. O u r h u n g e r for life leads t o r a w a s t o n i s h m e n t at being

t h e g u r u o f t h e d r u g c u l t u r e , and t o t h e generation before m i n e

alive, a n d h o r r o r at t h e c e r t a i n t y t h a t o u r life will stop. B u t w h y

he was a serious and courageous researcher into chemically altered

s h o u l d it m a t t e r w h o each of us is, was? A n d yet t h a t m e a n s

states of consciousness. As m a n y cultures had already discovered,

m o r e t h a n a n y t h i n g . As u r g e n t l y as w e n e e d to sit u n d e r t h e

and Aldous Huxley w r o t e a b o u t famously, hallucinogenic drugs

d o m e of t h e stars and feel t h a t t h e r e is s o m e t h i n g greater t h a n

c o u l d o p e n t h e doors of perception so wide t h a t o n e m i g h t enter

ourselves, so do we need to exist only as self, to etch o u r initials

mystical states. Leary p r o m o t e d t h e deep play and religious use

o n t h e tree t r u n k o f t h e century. Life is teeming, a n o n y m o u s , and

of drugs. By t h e t i m e I was in college, t h o u g h , r u m o r had it t h a t

disposable; and yet people cling to their individuality to t h e end.

Leary h a d t a k e n t o o m a n y trips, c o r r o d e d his brilliant m i n d ,

For example, T i m o t h y Leary, dying of cancer, a n n o u n c e d

t h a t he had a website and t h a t h e i n t e n d e d to c o m m i t suicide o n
t h e Internet, w h i c h h e u l t i m a t e l y did. He h a d m i g r a t e d from psy-

r u i n e d a dazzling career, and b e c o m e a sad case. B u t h e wasn't yet

t h e c l o w n h e w o u l d b e c o m e in t h e eyes of m y students.
A week before his C o r n e l l visit, h e h a d p h o n e d to invite m e

chedelic psychic space to cyberspace. He c o n t i n u e d t o have a

o u t t o d i n n e r after his talk, and I had accepted, t h i n k i n g it m i g h t

fairly good sense of h u m o r about life and his o w n antics. T h a t was

m a k e an interesting evening. B u t w h e n I attended t h e talk and

always p a r t of his c h a r m . He c o n t i n u e d t o take chances and stay

h e a r d h i m refer to m y "space eroticism" and so on, I began to fear

engaged w i t h life, whereas m o s t people crippled by cancer w o u l d

t h a t his plans for m e m i g h t n o t be m y plans for him. I sensed

have conceded t h e battle and awaited t h e finish.

from t h e n a t u r e of his talk t h a t I m i g h t n o t be able to t r u s t h i m .

I r e m e m b e r w h e n I published m y first b o o k of poetry, The

He seemed spaced o u t at times, slightly delusional. I t h o u g h t h e

Planets: A Cosmic Pastoral, h o w h e w r o t e to m e from jail, using t h e

was quite capable of slipping m e a d r u g d u r i n g dinner, p e r h a p s

n a m e "Brown." He later p h o n e d m e in t h e dead of n i g h t t o tell

for m y o w n e n l i g h t e n m e n t . So I sent a n o t e to him, via o n e of

m e t h a t h e and his friends w e r e building a spaceship and t h a t I

his hosts, t h a t I h a d an early m e e t i n g t h e n e x t m o r n i n g and

could have o n e o f t h e seats o n b o a r d for t h e trip to Proxima C e n -

w o u l d n ' t be able to join h i m after all.

tauri. A s t r o n o m e r s Carl Sagan and Frank D r a k e w e r e also invited.

D r u g s , s e n s o r y d e p r i v a t i o n t a n k s , t h e n o - m a n ' s - l a n d of

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cyberspaceLeary dived h e a d l o n g i n t o their m i n d - e x p a n d i n g

cap and n u r s e d . N o o n e ever m e n t i o n s suckling in sports, b u t

waters. He was always searching for t r a n s c e n d e n c e and a replace-

w h a t are w e to m a k e o f t h e fact t h a t t h o u s a n d s of joggers, foot-

m e n t for organized religion. I've k n o w n o t h e r people for w h o m

ball players, cyclists, and o t h e r athletes d r i n k from g r o w n - u p

self-mythologizing, self-fulfilling and defining challenges have

baby b o t t l e s c o m p l e t e w i t h n i p p l e s a s t h e y play? I r e m e m -

served t h a t p u r p o s e , too. T h e y strived t o b e c o m e godlike beings

bered t h e ad in t h e bicycling m a g a z i n e t h e o n e about biking

they could worship, beings above t h e confines of family,

fidelity,

as a secular religion. I've often h a d mystical experiences while

death. They h a d a p a n t h e o n of m e m o r i e s in w h i c h t h e y wrestled

cycling o n m y o w n , often repeated a simple m a n t r a of wind, sun,

w i t h t h e elements or fates and prevailed. Their, need t o be heroic,

a n d trees.

and seen as such, k e p t t h e m o n t h e edge, in t h e twilight w o r l d

w h e r e heroes b e c o m e gods.

T h e sky was brilliant blue, t h e air w a r m i n g u p to n i n e t y degrees, a n d t h e lake flashing its polished silver. In s o m e bays, t h e

Leary took his last voyage o n April 21, 1997, w h e n a small

w a t e r was like a single rippling fisha b a s s w i t h a wide stripe of

a m o u n t of his ashes was blasted into space aboard a c o m m e r c i a l

blue across t h e top, a stripe of silver along its flank, and a pinkish

rocket t h a t also contained ashes from Star Trek's creator, G e n e

silver close to shore. In others, t h e lake d i d n ' t even look whole,

Roddenberry, and t w e n t y - t h r e e others. Orbiting Earth once

b u t full of p u c k e r s and calms. Water in midlake was blindingly

every n i n e t y m i n u t e s , t h e r o c k e t will in t i m e fall back and b u r n

bright, as balls of tightly crinkled foil rolled over t h e waves. It was

d u r i n g reentry. Roddenberry's w i d o w says t h a t she's keeping

a beautiful ride of a b o u t twenty-five miles, and m o r e a r d u o u s

s o m e of her husband's a s h e s s h e intends t o have h e r o w n added

t h a n we'd p l a n n e d .

to t h e m after death, so t h a t t h e y can be l a u n c h e d i n t o space

together.

T w o friends h a d invited us to t h e s u m m e r ritual of o p e n i n g

u p their c o u n t r y cabin, a n d C a t h y and I leaped at t h e chance, n o t

ll|fgl|i|

only t o go t o a great p a r t y in o n e of t h e m o s t remarkable of

dwellings, b u t also because w e could bike there. T h e route, they

W h e t h e r t h r o u g h laboratory drugs or t h e biological fizz-out of

h a d explained, "is a little hilly." We h a d driven to their farm-

fatigue, a sense of ordeal often leads t o deep play. I once discussed

house, left o u r car, and biked southwest, following their direc-

this w i t h m y friend Cathy, as w e biked exhaustedly t h r o u g h a

tions. After t h e scenic start, w e e n c o u n t e r e d a h u g e hill, followed

lakeside n a t u r e preserve. At o n e e n d o f t h e m a r s h a d o z e n skele-

by a n o t h e r , followed by yet a n o t h e r . Four miles along, sweating

tal trees stood, struck d u m b by lightning. F r o m t h e park's look-

h a r d and depleted by t h e ninety-degree heat and high humidity,

o u t post, w e could see miles across t h e river of grass. Each t i m e

w e started t h i n k i n g seriously a b o u t t u r n i n g back and driving to

t h e wind hit t h e water, it t h r e w a handful of glitter u p o n it, and

t h e party. B u t C a t h y was sure w e could m a k e it, and t h e t o u g h e r

t h e middle of t h e m a r s h flared like a F o u r t h of July crowd

t h e climb t h e m o r e she seemed to relish t h e struggle. At t h e half-

holdling sparklers. At last w e biked back o u t o f t h e preserve and

way point, a t o p t h e sixth or seventh long steep hill, we stopped to

picked u p a lake road, c h a t t i n g as w e always d o w h e n w e bike, de-

rest in t h e shade of a large oak. I always pack a cell p h o n e o n long

spite sweat, puffing, or t h e voice-eraser o f t h e wind.

bike trips. We could ask s o m e o n e t o fetch us. I w o u l d n o t n o r -

Pulling m y w a t e r bottle from its cage, I flipped o p e n t h e d u s t

m a l l y have been so worried, b u t m y b r o k e n foot still h u r t w i t h

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every step, and I didn't w a n t t o d a m a g e it again. B u t C a t h y was

bristling w i t h resolve.
"I like t h e ordeal," she confessed. "You d o n ' t seem t o n e e d
t h a t , w h i c h is probably a lot healthier."
I l a u g h e d as I t h o u g h t of a life blessed by challenges, s o m e
madcap, s o m e bitter, s o m e piercingly e m o t i o n a l , s o m e e x h a u s t -

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"To s o m e extent. I still cozy u p t o a good challenge. B u t w h a t

is it exactly a b o u t ordeal t h a t appeals t o you?"
She t h o u g h t for a l o n g m o m e n t . "I guess it's being able to
have control over ordeals for once, facing ones I set for myself and
k n o w I can master. Hell, t h e r e are so m a n y ordeals in m y life
right n o w I d o n ' t feel in control of."

ingly physical, s o m e calamitous, s o m e agreeably hazardous. "I

M a n y m e n and w o m e n I k n o w e s p e c i a l l y in m i d d l e a g e

guess I've g o t t e n it o u t of m y s y s t e m p u r s u i n g ordeal for its

b e c o m e obsessed w i t h t o u g h e n i n g u p . It seems to be a c o m m o n

o w n sake, I m e a n . O n expeditions, a n d flying, I e n c o u n t e r e d a lot

affliction, t h e s u d d e n need to b e c o m e inordinately strong, tri-

of ordeals, u n e x p e c t e d ones, scary ones sometimes. T h e r e w e r e

u m p h a n t , fitter even t h a n t h e y w e r e in their twenties, nearly able

m o r e chances t o prove yourself t h a n you could wish for."

t o leap tall buildings. T h e y create their o w n b o o t c a m p . T h e y sign

I k n e w I was slurring over t h e details, b u t so m u c h of life's in-

u p for bone-bruising O u t w a r d B o u n d trips. T h e y perfect t h e

tensity stays wordless. So I let slide all t h e people and places, t h e

b o d y as if it w e r e an a m u l e t t h a t could ward off t h e Destroyer of

catapults into h i g h e r states, t h e quests, all t h e m o m e n t s of grace.

Delights. Maybe it's t h e disquieting proximity of death, m a y b e it's

But a collage of m e m o r i e s filled m y m i n d , and for a split second

seeing so m a n y friends g r o w i n g ill and old t h a t m a k e s us believe

I felt again t h e cleansing fire of ordeal and t h e austerity high risk

t h a t w e can m a s t e r o u r bodies and t h u s avoid t h e perils of illness.

requires. "Above t h e comforts of Base C a m p , " Jon Krakauer

Maybe it's because risk and ordeal force o n e to concentrate o n

writes in Into Thin Air, " t h e expedition in fact b e c o m e s an a l m o s t

things outside t h e self: all struggles w i t h identity vanish, and o n e

Calvinistic u n d e r t a k i n g . . . . I quickly c a m e t o u n d e r s t a n d t h a t

feels s u p r e m e l y c o m p e t e n t in a chaotic world. A seductive illu-

climbing Everest was primarily a b o u t e n d u r i n g pain. A n d in sub-

sion. B u t as Albert C a m u s u n d e r s t o o d so well w h e n observing

jecting ourselves t o week after week of toil, t e d i u m , a n d suffer-

t h e y o u n g m e n of Algiers, "they have wagered o n t h e

ing, it s t r u c k m e t h a t m o s t of us w e r e probably seeking, above all

k n o w i n g t h e y w o u l d lose." Youth is "a land w h e r e everything is

else, s o m e t h i n g like a state of grace." Spiritual a d v e n t u r e usually

given to be t a k e n away. In s u c h a b u n d a n c e a n d profusion, life fol-

involves reaching beyond oneself, using one's b o d y and instincts

lows t h e curve of t h e great passions, s u d d e n , d e m a n d i n g , gener-

to their absolute fullest, testing t h e limits, in an effort to " k n o w

ous. It is n o t m e a n t to be built, b u t t o be b u r n e d up."

flesh,

and d r a m a t i z e t h e richness of physical life," as Michael M u r p h y

I r e m e m b e r e d o n e pivotal day last fall. Because m y b r o k e n

p u t s it. In athletics, b u t also in s o m e religious rites, pain is invited,

foot h a d n ' t healed properly, t e n m o n t h s later I m a n a g e d to in-

even cherished, in t h e h o p e t h a t ordeal will magically lead t o

flame it or reshuffle t h e bones, and a b o n e scan foretold m y fu-

s t r e n g t h and illumination. A vision quest of one's o w n devising,

t u r e . I w o u l d need a b o n e graft and a screw installed t o secure t h e

w h o s e pain floods t h e body w i t h s u c h force t h a t it washes p a r t of

" n o n u n i o n . " Because I was suffering from t w o leg p r o b l e m s a

t h e self away. Back t o purification, cleansing. I've used those w o r d s

b r o k e n right foot and an inflamed left k n e e m y life was full of

myself after such ordeals.

pain a n d anxiety. For t e n days I did n o t h i n g b u t rest, m y feet

"That's true," she said. "You've d o n e ordeal already."

p r o p p e d u p o n a large wedge-shaped pillow. T h e t h o u g h t of

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a n o t h e r spring and s u m m e r lost to injury was depressing and for

w r o n g correction. Everything looks blurry. O n t h e third day, I

t h e first few days after t h e bone-scan results I agonized.

began designing t h e operation as if it w e r e Eisenhower's invasion

T h a t m o r n i n g it s t r u c k m e t h a t I m i g h t never be able to go

plan. Taking s u c h c o m p r e h e n s i v e control of m y fate lifted m y

o u t o n expeditions again, or at least n o t for s o m e while. T h e b o n e

spirits e n o r m o u s l y . This t i m e I w o u l d be ready, I t h o u g h t : t h e

w o u l d k n i t slowly, if it k n i t at all. A n d t h e n t h e r e w e r e t h e o t h e r

h o u s e w o u l d be wheelchair accessible; I w o u l d hire i n - h o m e help

leg a n d foot problems, w h i c h m a d e a constellation of worry. T h e

for t h r e e h o u r s a day; Paul, m y spouse, w o u l d pick u p groceries;

left foot h a d a painful n e u r o m a . T h e left k n e e h u r t w h e r e I m i g h t

all t h e useful apparatuses w o u l d be waiting w h e n I arrived h o m e

have a t o r n cartilage. O n t h e right foot, across t h e instep, was an

from t h e hospital. T h e t i m e w o u l d pass quickly and w h e n it was

achy p u l l i n g t h a t was m o s t likely a stretch of w h a t I learned t o

over I w o u l d have a reliable a n d solid foot again.

call t h e plantar fascia. I realized t h a t I m i g h t need m o r e operations, m o r e convalescence.

Buoyed u p by s u c h t h o u g h t s , I set off o n a tentative bike ride

u n d e r s u n n y blue skies. T h e t e m p e r a t u r e was in t h e u p p e r for-

I h a t e t h e fearful t r i m m i n g of possibilities t h a t age brings.

ties, b u t t h e s u n seemed h o t t e r t h a n in winter. If clouds passed

If you lead a relatively n a r r o w life, I suppose you never notice.

over, I felt chilly, b u t quite w a r m in direct sun. T e n t h of mile by

B u t I've always been athletic. First, I was a r u n n e r . After k n e e

t e n t h of mile, I carefully m o n i t o r e d m y injured parts. Was t h e r e

trouble, I had t o c h a n g e to l o w - i m p a c t aerobics. W h e n t h a t led to

n e w soreness in t h e knee? Any extra pain in t h e b r o k e n foot?

injuries, I changed t o speed-walking. W h e n t h a t led t o injuries, I

W h a t w o u l d be t h e t u r n - b a c k point? Feeling m y way along, I con-

changed to biking and w o r k i n g o u t o n innovative m a c h i n e s at

t i n u e d o n to Flat Rock, overjoyed t o be o u t biking in t h e s u n -

t h e h e a l t h club. N o w t h a t s o m e h e a l t h - c l u b m a c h i n e s have led t o

shine once again. T h e sky never looked bluer, t h e ice-crusted

m u s c l e strain, I'll focus o n biking, s w i m m i n g , and lifting free

w a t e r never sparkled w i t h m o r e life.

weights. B u t I hate having to limit m y choices, h a t e having doors

I walked t h e bike p a r t w a y u p a long steep hill, t h e n m o u n t e d

closed in front of m e . I will prevail, of course. I love going t o as-

u p at t h e t o p and, staying in first gear, pedaled slowly beside t h e

tonishing places to s t u d y rare animals, b u t I also love s t u d y i n g

fallow fields t o w a r d t h e H a w k Woods. Sparkles beside t h e road

h u m a n s and o t h e r animals close to h o m e . I suspect m y knapsack

c a u g h t m y eye and I stopped, amazed to see culverts filled w i t h

will carry t h e same b u r d e n s and n o u r i s h m e n t regardless of w h i c h

c o m b e d - d o w n m u s t a r d - c o l o r e d strands of long grass, over w h i c h

road I take. It always has. If I can't hike, I will cycle or ride horse-

w a t e r gently p o u r e d , e n c r u s t e d by a t o p layer of ice whose crys-

back. O n e way or a n o t h e r , t h e j o u r n e y will continue. B u t it was

tals w e r e gigantic and m a t t e d t o g e t h e r in a t h i n lattice. They

hard t o r e m e m b e r t h a t and to keep m y spirits u p after four weeks

looked like h a s h b r o w n potatoes carved in crystal.

of captivity in a wheelchair, w i t h m o n t h s of painful rehabilitation

in t h e forecast.

At Sapsucker Woods, I saw an equally odd and beautiful ice

mystery. Walking across a raised w o o d e n walkway, I looked d o w n

T h a t first evening I w e p t u n t i l I c o u l d n ' t see t h r o u g h m y

at t h e frozen s w a m p water, in w h i c h leaves and twigs were cap-

contact lenses. W h e n a contact-wearer cries, t h e eyeballs swell,

t u r e d and suspended, as if in millefiore paperweights. Across

which changes their c u r v a t u r e , and since contact lenses are t h e m -

a three-foot stretch of ice, perfect raccoon tracks led to an island

selves precisely m e a s u r e d curves, it's like s u d d e n l y wearing t h e

of trees and moss. T h e r a c c o o n was r u n n i n g w h e n it left t h e

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t r a c k s t h e feet w e r e n ' t alternating b u t galloping, t w o by t w o

w a y t h e n w h a t w o u l d t h e neighbors think? T h e neighbors

and it m u s t have crossed w h e n t h e ice was slushy e n o u g h to re-

w o u l d probably be envious, and m o s t of t h e m w o u l d have their

ceive footprints. Perhaps o n a w a r m early evening, w h e n t h e t o p

o w n u n i q u e l y fascinating versions of deep play.

layer of ice had b e g u n to thaw. T h e n a drizzle m u s t have sealed

I often find deep play in gardening, cycling, or cross-country

t h e prints u n d e r m o r e water, n i g h t fallen and t h e s w a m p frozen

skiing. Actually, it can o c c u r in m a n y m o m e n t s of m y day. My

hard. Biking again in t h e bright sunshine, w i t h n a t u r a l w o n d e r s

t e m p e r a m e n t is s u c h t h a t I can b e c o m e easily e n c h a n t e d by na-

abounding, t h e past and future vanished, t h o u g h t evaporated,

ture's wonders, decoyed away from w o r r y by a fresh adventure,

and I felt w h o l e m o m e n t s in w h i c h I was deciduously happy.

physical or m e n t a l . I ' m n o t a reckless thrill-seeker, n o t easily

Deep play arises in s u c h m o m e n t s of intense e n j o y m e n t ,

bored, n o t willing to try anything. However, because of a test I took as

focus, control, creativity, timelessness, confidence, volition, lack

p a r t of a National Institutes of M e n t a l H e a l t h study ( t h e e x a m i n -

of self-awareness (hence transcendence), while doing things intrin-

ers didn't tell m e w h a t t h e test was studying), I k n o w t h a t al-

sically w o r t h w h i l e , rewarding for their o w n sake, following cer-

t h o u g h I ' m m u c h m o r e o p e n to experience t h a n m o s t people,

tain rules (they m a y include t h e rules of gravity and balance),

I ' m n o t alone in thisit's a quality shared by a great m a n y artists,

o n a limited playing field. Deep play requires one's full attention.

naturalists, and others. Deep play allows o n e t o feel quintessen-

It feels cleansing because, w h e n acting and t h i n k i n g b e c o m e

tially alive, heartbeat by heartbeat, in t h e eternal present. T h e

one, t h e r e is n o r o o m left for o t h e r t h o u g h t s . Problems aren't

h e r e - a n d - n o w becomes a p o p - u p storybook, full of surprises, in

s h e l v e d t h e y don't exist d u r i n g deep play. Life's usual choices and

w h i c h e v e r y t h i n g looms. It r e t u r n s us t o t h e openness of child-

relationships are suspended. T h e past never h a p p e n e d and t h e

h o o d . It's odd t h a t refreshments often are served d u r i n g play,

future w o n ' t arise. O n e is suspended b e t w e e n tick and tock.

since play itself is s u c h a refreshment. S h a m a n s and vatic poets

To reach deep play s o m e t i m e s m e a n s tackling activities

m o r e c o m p l e x t h a n one encounters in everyday life (such as
chess), or simpler t h a n one usually encounters (such as sitting still
and w a t c h i n g every m o v e m e n t of a deer). B u t it doesn't require
death-defying acts of g r a n d e u r . O n e p e r s o n m a y enter its t h r a l l
while p o r i n g over a s t a m p collection, a n o t h e r while windsurfing,
yet a n o t h e r while praying. O n e strategy w i t h depressed, t r o u bled, or addicted people m a y be to help t h e m find n a t u r a l highs,
positive forms of play t h a t will appeal to t h e m . As a crisis-line
counselor, I s o m e t i m e s explored those possibilities w i t h callers.
All people play, w h e t h e r t h e y realize it or n o t , and m a n y are capable of deep play, b u t s o m e fear its a p p a r e n t loss of control. A
voice inside t h e m w a r n s n o t t o give themselves u p t o t h e n o n r a tional, even temporarily, or t h e y m i g h t go insane. O r appear t h a t

used to teach us s u c h t r u t h s , and in these days of misplaced values w e n e e d their w i s d o m m o r e t h a n ever.

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struggle "to find t h e right words." W h a t do those w o r d s consist

w h i c h is i n d e e d w h a t porcelain m e a n s . W h e n w e s t a n d by o u r

of? S u b m e r g e d m e t a p h o r s , images, actions, personalities, jokes.

scruples w e d o n ' t t h i n k of o u r feet, b u t t h e w o r d c o m e s from

Seeing themselves reflected in o n e a n o t h e r ' s eyes, t h e R o m a n s

t h e Latin scrupulus, a tiny s t o n e t h a t was t h e smallest u n i t of

coined t h e w o r d pupil, w h i c h m e a n t "little doll." Orchids take their

w e i g h t . T h u s a s c r u p u l o u s p e r s o n is so sensitive he's irritated

n a m e from t h e Greek w o r d for testicles. Pansy derives from t h e

by t h e smallest s t o n e in his shoe. For t h e m o s t p a r t , w e are all

French w o r d pensee, or t h o u g h t , because t h e flower seemed to have

u n w i t t i n g poets.

s u c h a pensive face. Bless originally m e a n t to r e d d e n w i t h blood,

Just as t h e w o r l d of deep play exists outside of ordinary life,

as in sacrifice. Hence "God bless y o u " literally m e a n s "God b a t h e

t h e poetic w o r l d of h u m a n s exists w i t h i n b u t separate f r o m

you in blood."

ordinary reality. So deep play lives at t w o removes from t h e real

We inhabit a deeply imagined w o r l d t h a t exists alongside t h e

w o r l d (whatever t h a t is), except w h e n w e play t h r o u g h t h e art

real physical one. Even t h e crudest utterance, or t h e simplest,

form we call poetry. T h e n we stare straight at o u r i n h e r e n t l y p o -

contains t h e f u n d a m e n t a l p o e t r y by w h i c h we live. This m i n d

etic version of life, m a k e it even m o r e vigorous and resourceful.

fabric, w o v e n of images and illusions, shields us. In a sense, or

Poetry speaks t o everyone, b u t it cries o u t to people in t h e throes

r a t h e r in all senses, it's a shock absorber. As h a r s h as life seems

of vertiginous passions, or people grappling w i t h k n o t t y e m o -

to us now, it w o u l d feel even worsehopelessly, irredeemably

tions, or people trying to c o n s t r u e t h e mysteries of existence. At a

h a r s h i f we didn't veil it, order it, relate familiar things, create

stage of life remarkable for its idealism, sensitivity, and e m o t i o n a l

m e n t a l cushions. O n e of t h e m o s t surprising facts a b o u t us h u -

t u r b u l e n c e , s t u d e n t s t e n d to respond for all t h r e e reasons.

m a n beings is t h a t we seem t o require a poetic version of life. It's

S o m e t i m e s w h e n I pass a basketball c o u r t I ' m t r a n s p o r t e d ,

n o t just t h a t s o m e of us enjoy reading or writing poetry, or t h a t

t h a n k s to t h e flying carpet of m e m o r y , back to m y first real teach-

m a n y people wax poetic in e m o t i o n a l situations, b u t t h a t all

ing job in t h e early eighties. At t h e University of Pittsburgh, I

h u m a n beings of all ages in all cultures all over t h e world auto-

t a u g h t various u n d e r g r a d u a t e writing and literature courses, b u t

matically tell their story in a poetic way, using t h e elemental poetry

I r e m e m b e r m o s t dearly t h e graduate poets I t a u g h t . N o t m u c h

concealed in everyday language to solve problems, c o m m u n i c a t e

older t h a n m o s t of t h e m , y o u n g e r t h a n a few, I found their e n -

desires and needs, even talk to themselves. W h e n people invent

thusiasms a tonic. All t h e e l e m e n t s of their lives b r e a t h e d w i t h

n e w words, t h e y d o so playfully, p o e t i c a l l y c o m p u t e r s have

equal intensity. Thy played as hard as they w o r k e d as hard as

viruses, o n e can surf t h e I n t e r n e t , a naive person is clueless. In time,

t h e y loved as h a r d as they wrote. It was typical of t h e m t o discuss

people forget t h e e t y m o l o g y or choose t o disregard it. A p l u m b e r

Proust in t h e stands before a hockey game. They also b o u g h t p o -

says he'll use a gasket o n a leaky pipe, w i t h o u t considering t h a t

etry, read poetry, w r o t e p o e t r y in t h e seams between w o r k and

t h e w o r d comes from garconette, t h e Old French w o r d for a little

family, m e t at a bar after class t o d r i n k Iron City beer and con-

girl w i t h her h y m e n intact. We dine at chic restaurants from

t i n u e talking a b o u t poetry.

porcelain d i n n e r plates, w i t h o u t realizing t h a t w h e n s m o o t h ,

After class o n e evening, w e all w e n t t o a nearby basketball

glistening porcelain was m a d e in France long ago, s o m e o n e w i t h a

c o u r t so t h a t o n e o f t h e s t u d e n t s could teach us fade-away j u m p

sense of h u m o r t h o u g h t it looked as s m o o t h as t h e vulva of a pig,

shots, an image h e h a d used beautifully in a p o e m . Sometimes I

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w e n t w i t h t h e m to t h e Pitt Tavern after class, w h e r e w e w o u l d

freezing t o d e a t h at his telescope. His p o e m s t h r o b w i t h an acute

c o n t i n u e talking late i n t o t h e night. With an unselfconscious fer-

physical reality. N o p o e t gives a greater sense of the feel of life.

vor t h a t amazed m e t h e n , and in retrospect still does, t h e y de-

T h e n h e goes even further, to re-create t h e process of life

m a n d e d to be well t a u g h t . My job was to keep pace w i t h their

t h r o u g h a w h o l e register of intricate and almost touchable i m -

needs. I h a d n o choice b u t t o teach t h e m e v e r y t h i n g I knew, learn

ages and events. Working himself into a state of neighborly rever-

w i t h fresh energy, t h e n teach t h e m even m o r e if I could.

ence, h e invents m e t a p h o r s t h a t d o n ' t so m u c h c o m b i n e A and B

At t h e end of o n e semester, in t h e closing h o u r of t h e final

as trail A and B t h r o u g h a slush of o t h e r p h e n o m e n a . He ardently

seminar, I asked if t h e r e were a n y t h i n g w e h a d n ' t talked a b o u t

weds himself t o life's sexy, sweaty, chaotic, weepy, prayerful, nos-

t h a t needed to be addressed. O n e of t h e best writers raised his

talgic, belligerent, crushing, confused vitality in as m a n y of its

h a n d . "How to m a k e love stay," h e said simply. For t h e r e m a i n i n g

forms as h e can find, in a frenzy t h a t b e c o m e s a h o m a g e to cre-

h o u r , t h a t is w h a t we discussed. As I write this, I can see his soul-

ation. In this way, h e seems to create a personal physics t o m a t c h

ful face. Smart, r o m a n t i c , u n p r e d i c t a b l e h e was all poet. Even

his ideas, so t h a t t h e language of his best p o e m s echoes t h e sub-

now, a d o z e n years later, I w o r r y a b o u t h i m , h o p e he survived t h e

ject m a t t e r , a n d b o t h suggest t h e behavior deep in o u r brains,

intensity h e craved b u t could n o t live with. I h o p e h e c o n t i n u e d

hearts, and cells. He really does nibble t h e oat in t h e bread h e

writing. I see t h e faces o f t h e others, too, and w o n d e r h o w they've

breaks, intuit t h e m o n k e y in t h e n e w b o r n baby, see t h e s h r o u d -

fared. A l t h o u g h I could n o t tell t h e m so at t h e time, I k n e w

m a k e r in t h e surgeon sewing u p after a n operation. S o m e t i m e s

w h e r e s o m e of their e m o t i o n a l travels m i g h t lead t h e m . T h e y

he's cryptic ("Foster t h e light n o r veil t h e m a n s h a p e d m o o n " ) ,

were intense y o u n g poets. In vital ways, w e w e r e similar. I h a d al-

s o m e t i m e s a clear-eyed observer ( " t h e m o u s i n g cat stepping shy,/

ready e n d u r e d s o m e o f t h e struggles t h e y w e r e yet to face, and w e

T h e puffed birds h o p p i n g and h u n t i n g " ) , s o m e t i m e s lyrically

shared a c o m m o n c u r r e n c y w e u n d e r s t o o d t h e value of poetry.

e m p h a t i c ( " T h e h a n d t h a t signed t h e paper felled a city"). S o m e -

W h e n I was a freshman at Boston University, in t h e late six-

times he's a m a k e r of schoolboy jokes, s o m e t i m e s a celebrant

ties, I used to stroll beside t h e Charles River w i t h a copy of Dylan

seer. But, above all, h e can t r a n s f o r m t h e Saturday-afternoon

T h o m a s ' s p o e m s in o n e p o c k e t and Wallace Stevens's in a n o t h e r . I

r e p u t a t i o n of t h e p l a n e t a couple of i m p o s i n g - s o u n d i n g t r o p -

was d r a w n to t h e sensuous rigor of T h o m a s and t h e v o l u p t u o u s

ics, its being called a "star," t h e pyramids, Jesus, A d a m , illness,

m i n d of Stevens. Together t h e y o p e n e d t h e d o o r for m e into a

birth, death, s e x i n t o s o m e t h i n g sacramental. N o t neat. N o t

r e a l m of ideas, song, wordplay, idea play, discovery, and passion.

well-behaved. N o t explicit. N o t always argued or even s t r u c -

W h a t I loved a b o u t T h o m a s (and still d o ) is t h e way his p o e m s

t u r e d . B u t bold, wild, and tenderly v o l u p t u o u s . H o w could I

provide a fluid mosaic in w h i c h a n y t h i n g can lose its identity in

resist all that?

t h e identities of o t h e r things (because, after all, t h e w o r l d is

O t h e r poets took m y fancy, too. I loved t h e way t h e y illumi-

m a i n l y a " r u m p u s of shapes"). By m i x i n g language and category

n a t e d life like a h o l y text, drawing m y attention t o h o w d r e a m s

w i t h a free h a n d , he seems to k n o w t h e intricate feel of life as

w e r e m a d e , and t o t h e b e a u t y at t h e h e a r t o f t h e m o s t c o m m o n -

it m i g h t c o m e t o a d r u n k , or a deer, or a d e v o u t a s t r o n o m e r

place d r a m a s and objects. Poetry h a d a way of lifting a feeling or

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idea o u t of its r o u t i n e so t h a t it could be appreciated w i t h fresh

eye, and t h e t u m u l t u o u s experiences of t h e poet. Long ago in

eyes. In " t h e foul rag-and-bone s h o p o f t h e heart," as Yeats called

India, for example, U r d u poets writing in t h e verse form k n o w n

it, I k n e w p o e t r y h a d e v e r y t h i n g to teach m e a b o u t life.

as ughazal w e r e also trying to figure o u t t h e universe. A ghazal was

Poetry was all I k n e w t o write at eighteen. M u c h has h a p -

t h e t e c h n o l o g y t h e y used to m a k e sense of their world, and n o

p e n e d in m y writerly life since t h e n . A l t h o u g h I still write poetry,

d o u b t t h e y felt as sonneteers and c o m p o s e r s of villanelles do, t h a t

I've learned t o write prose, too, and t h a t has b r o u g h t its o w n frus-

t h e r e are t r u t h s t h a t can only be learned w h e n you're dancing in

trations and freedoms. In b o t h genres, writing is m y form of cele-

chains.

bration and prayer, b u t it's also t h e way in w h i c h I explore t h e

T h e craft of writing p o e t r y is a m o n k l i k e occupation, as is a

world, s o m e t i m e s writing a b o u t n a t u r e , s o m e t i m e s a b o u t h u -

w a t c h m a k e r ' s , tilting tiny cogs and wheels into place. It's ironic

m a n n a t u r e . I always try t o give myself to w h a t e v e r I ' m writing

t h a t poets use w o r d s to convey w h a t lies beyond words. But p o -

w i t h as m u c h affectionate curiosity as I can m u s t e r , in order to

etry b e c o m e s m o s t powerful w h e r e language fails. H o w can we

u n d e r s t a n d a little better w h a t being h u m a n is, and w h a t it was

express all t h e d r a m a s and feelings t h a t are wordless, w h e r e lan-

like to have once been alive o n t h e planet, h o w it felt in one's

guage has n o purchase? Words are small shapes in t h e gorgeous

senses, passions, and contemplations. In t h a t sense, I use art as an

chaos of t h e world. B u t t h e y are shapes, t h e y bring t h e world to

i n s t r u m e n t t o u n e a r t h shards of t r u t h . Writing is also t h e avenue

focus, t h e y corral ideas, t h e y h o n e t h o u g h t s , t h e y paint water-

t h a t m o s t often leads m e to deep play.

colors of perception. T r u m a n Capote's In Cold Blood chronicles t h e

These days, I do t h a t m o r e often in prose. B u t t h e real source

d r a m a of t w o m u r d e r e r s w h o collaborated o n a particularly nasty

of m y creativity continues to be poetry. I've just published a n e w

crime. A criminal psychologist, trying to explain t h e event, ob-

collection. I love to read books of poetry. My prose often contains

served t h a t n e i t h e r o n e of t h e m w o u l d have been capable of t h e

w h a t are essentially prose p o e m s . W h y does p o e t r y play s u c h an

crime, b u t t o g e t h e r t h e y formed a t h i r d person w h o was able to

i m p o r t a n t role in m y life? For centuries, p o e t r y was vital to t h e

kill. M e t a p h o r s , t h o u g h m o r e benign, w o r k in t h e same way. T h e

life of nearly everyone. In t h e n i n e t e e n t h century, poets s u c h as

chemical t e r m for w h a t h a p p e n s is hypergolic: you can take t w o

Byron and Tennyson were celebrities of Hollywood status. Movies

i n e r t substances, p u t t h e m together, and p r o d u c e s o m e t h i n g

and television m a y d r a w m o r e viewers now, b u t p o e t r y continues

powerfully different (table salt), even explosive (nitroglycerine).

to inspire us, reveal us to o n e a n o t h e r , and teach us i m p o r t a n t

T h e c h a r m of language is t h a t , t h o u g h it's h u m a n - m a d e , it can

t r u t h s a b o u t being h u m a n .

o n rare occasions c a p t u r e e m o t i o n s and sensations t h a t aren't.

T h e reason is simple: p o e t r y reflects t h e h e a r t a n d soul of a

T h e best p o e m s are rich w i t h observational t r u t h s . Above all,

people. T h e r e is n o t h i n g like p o e t r y to t h r o w light i n t o t h e dark

w e ask t h e p o e t t o teach us a way of seeing, lest o n e spend a life-

corners of existence, and m a k e life's r u n a w a y l o c o m o t i v e slow

t i m e o n this p l a n e t w i t h o u t noticing h o w green light s o m e t i m e s

d o w n for a m o m e n t so t h a t it can be enjoyed. Science and tech-

flares u p as t h e setting s u n rolls u n d e r .

nology explain m u c h of o u r world. Psychology tells us m o r e

a b o u t h u m a n behavior; all t h r e e succeed by following orderly
rules and theories. Poetry offers t r u t h s based o n intuition, a k e e n

W h e n C a t h y and I were cycling t h e o t h e r day, she m e n t i o n e d

t h a t reading p o e t r y frightened her.
"What if I d o n ' t get t h e real meaning?" she asked. "What if I

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read 'a ghostly galleon' and t h i n k it's referring t o a ship, w h e n it's

baby-sit for us, to h e l p us relocate emotionally, to act as a messen-

really referring to t h e lost i n n o c e n c e of America?" I was d u m b -

ger in affairs of t h e heart, to provide us w i t h an intellectual call-

founded. S o m e o n e h a d t a u g h t her, and m a n y others, t h a t p o e m s

ing card, t o rehearse death, or m a p escape routes. As m a n y have

w o r k like safescrack t h e code and t h e safe o p e n s t o reveal its

p o i n t e d out, p o e t r y is a kind of k n o w i n g , a way of looking at t h e

treasure.

o r d i n a r y u n t i l it b e c o m e s special and t h e exceptional until it

"There are m a n y ways t o read a p o e m , " I said. "After all, you

b e c o m e s c o m m o n p l a c e . It b o t h amplifies and reduces experi-

d o n ' t really k n o w w h a t was going t h r o u g h t h e poet's m i n d . Sup-

ence, paradoxical t h o u g h t h a t m a y sound. It can s h r i n k an event

pose h e was having a t e m p e s t u o u s affair w i t h a neighbor, and

t e e m i n g w i t h disorder t o t h e rigorous p u n g e n c y of an epigram.

once w h e n t h e y were alone h e told her t h a t her hips w e r e like

It can elasticize one's perspective until, t o use an image of J o h n

a ghostly galleon. He m i g h t t h e n have used t h e image in a p o e m

D o n n e ' s , a d r o p of blood sucked by a single flea a c c o m m o d a t e s

h e was writing because it fit well, b u t also as a sly flirtation w i t h

t h e entire world of t w o lovers. Few views of life are as p a n o r a m i c

his neighbor, w h o s e hips w o u l d be secretly c o m m e m o r a t e d in

as t h e o n e seen t h r o u g h J o h n Milton's cosmological eye. Milton

verse.
"Do poets d o that?" she asked, slightly scandalized t h a t noble

could write "All Hell broke loose" because h e k n e w w h e r e (and

w h a t ) Hell was; h e h a d sent his wife and d a u g h t e r s t h e r e often

t h o u g h t s m i g h t be tinged w i t h t h e profane.

e n o u g h , and his vision encompassed it, just as it did t h e constella-

"I've d o n e it," I a d m i t t e d w i t h a grin. "I p r e s u m e o t h e r

p o e t s do."

tions ( m a n y of w h i c h h e introduces into Paradise Lost). He could

write "Orion rose a r m ' d " because he'd observed Orion often

I w e n t o n to explain, as teachers o f t h e writerly arts do, t h a t

e n o u g h w h e n t h e a r m s w e r e n ' t visible. Poetry, like all imagina-

p o e m s dance w i t h m a n y veils. Read a p o e m briskly, a n d it will

tive writing, is a kind of attentiveness t h a t p e r m i t s o n e b o t h t h e

speak to you briskly. Delve, and it will give you rich ore to c o n -

organized a d v e n t u r e of t h e n o m a d and t h e a r m c h a i r security of

t e m p l a t e . Each t i m e you look, a n e w scintillation m a y appear,

t h e b a n k teller. Poetry r e m i n d s us of t h e t r u t h s about life and

o n e you missed before.

h u m a n n a t u r e t h a t w e k n e w all along, b u t forgot s o m e h o w be-

T h e a p p a r e n t subject of a p o e m isn't always an e n d in itself. It

cause t h e y w e r e n ' t yet in m e m o r a b l e language. If a p o e t describes

m a y really be an o p p o r t u n i t y , a way for t h e p o e t t o reach in and

a p a n t h e r ' s cage in a certain vivid way, t h a t cage will be as real a

h a u l u p w h a t e v e r n u g g e t of t h e h u m a n condition is distracting

fact as t h e s u n .

at t h e m o m e n t , s o m e t h i n g t h a t can't be reached in any o t h e r

A p o e m k n o w s m o r e about h u m a n n a t u r e t h a n its writer

way. It's a kind of catapult into a n o t h e r metaphysical c o u n t y

does, because a p o e m is often a camera, a logbook, an annal, n o t

w h e r e o n e has longer conceptual arms. T h e p o e t r e m i n d s us t h a t

an interpreter. A p o e m m a y k n o w t h e subtlest elisions of feeling,

life's seductive habits of t h o u g h t and sight can be b r o k e n at will.

t h e earliest signs of s o m e p a t t e r n or discord. A book of p o e m s

We ask t h e p o e t to s h e p h e r d us telescopically and microscopi-

chronicles t h e poet's m a n y selves, and as such k n o w s m o r e about

cally t h r o u g h m a n y perspectives, to lead us like a m o u n t a i n goat

t h e p o e t t h a n t h e p o e t does at any given time, including t h e t i m e

t h r o u g h t h e h i d d e n m u l t i d i m e n s i o n a l i t y of a l m o s t everything.

w h e n t h e book is finished and yet a n o t h e r self holds her book of

We expect t h e p o e t to k n o w a b o u t a lot of strange things, to

previous selves in h e r hands. A p o e m k n o w s a great deal about

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o u r m e n t a l habits, and a b o u t upheaval and discovery, loneliness

i n c o m p r e h e n s i b l e as free of telltale ambiguity and absurdity as

and despair. And it k n o w s t h e handrails a m i n d clings to in times

possible. That's n o t to say t h a t we d o n ' t find n a t u r e a m b i g u o u s or

of stress. A p o e m tells us about t h e subtleties of m o o d for w h i c h

life absurd, only t h a t t h e t e m p t a t i o n to play and land t h e mystery

we have n o labels. T h e v o l u p t u o u s n e s s of waiting, for instance:

like a slippery s a l m o n , t o freeze it in vocabularic aspic, is irre-

h o w one's w h o l e body can rock from t h e heavy p o u n d i n g o f t h e

sistible. Surely this is n o t far afield from t h e h u n t i n g magic o f t h e

heart. It k n o w s extremes of consciousness, k n o w s w h a t t h e land-

cave drawings at Lascaux.

scape of imagination looks like w h e n t h e m i n d is at full t h r o t t l e ,

We ask t h e p o e t to reassure us by giving us a g e o m e t r y of liv-

or beclouded, or cyclone-torn. Most of all, it tells us a b o u t o u r

ing, in w h i c h all things add u p and cohere, to tell us h o w things

h u m a n need to m a k e treaties. Often a p o e m is w h e r e an e m o -

buttress o n e a n o t h e r , circle r o u n d and i n t e r m e l t . Once t h e p o e t

tional or metaphysical t r u c e takes place. T i m e slow-gaits e n o u g h

has b r o k e n life into shards, w e ask h i m to spin a r o u n d and piece it

in t h e hewing of t h e p o e m to m a k e a treaty t h a t will e n d u r e , in

back t o g e t h e r again, m a k i n g life seem even m o r e fluent t h a n be-

print, until t h e p o e t disowns it, p e r h a p s in a second treaty in t h e

fore. N o w it is a fluency of particulars instead of a n e b u l o u s surg-

form of a n o t h e r p o e m . T h e r e is even a technical t e r m for that: a

ing. We ask t h e p o e t to compress and abbreviate t h e chaos, so we

palinode. A p o e m k n o w s about illusion and magic, h o w to glorify

d o n ' t overload from its waterfall of sensations, all of w h i c h w e

w h a t is n o t glorious, h o w to b a n k r u p t w h a t is. It displays, in its

nonetheless s o m e h o w wish t o take in.

alchemy of m i n d , t h e t r a n s m u t i n g of t h e c o m m o n p l a c e i n t o

Like m a t h e m a t i c i a n s , composers, and physicists, poets often

golden saliences. A p o e m records e m o t i o n s and m o o d s t h a t lie

seem t o d o their best w o r k w h e n they're y o u n g . Once, after a lec-

beyond n o r m a l language, t h a t can only be p a t c h e d t o g e t h e r and

ture, a w o m a n asked w h y accomplished scientists and prose writ-

hinted at metaphorically. It k n o w s a b o u t s p u n k , zealousness, ob-

ers (such as Loren Eiseley), w h o t u r n e d t o p o e t r y late in life, were

stinacy, and deliverance. It accretes life, w h i c h is w h y different peo-

s u c h p o o r poets. Is it easier to switch from p o e t r y to prose t h a n

ple can read different things into t h e same p o e m . It freezes life,

from prose to poetry? she w o n d e r e d . I d o n ' t t h i n k t h e g e n r e is

too, yanks a bit o u t of life's t u r b u l e n t stream, and holds it up,

w h a t m a t t e r s , b u t t h e t i m e of life. If you read t h e first book by

squirming, to view, framed by t h e w h i t e margins o f t h e page. Po-

famous scientistsJ. B. S. Haldane, Werner Heisenberg, Francis

etry is an act of distillation. It takes contingency samples, is selec-

Crick, Fred H o y l e y o u find a m i n d full of passion and w o n d e r .

tive. It telescopes time. It focuses w h a t m o s t often floods past us

Those books are thrilling t o read because m y s t e r y is alive in t h e m .

in a polite blur.

B u t in later books these same people b e c o m e obsessed w i t h poli-

We read p o e m s partly, I t h i n k , because t h e y are an elegant,

tics and sociology; their books are still of intellectual interest, b u t

persuasive f o r m of r e a s o n i n g , o n e t h a t can glorify a h u m a n

they've lost t h e sense of marvel. It m a y be t h a t o t h e r scientists,

c o n d i t i o n feared to be m e a n i n g l e s s , a u n i v e r s e feared t o be "an

w h e n young, are at t h e height of their careers for the same reason

u n l o v i n g crock of shit," as philosopher H e n r y Finch once said

n o t because of their reflexes, eyesight, fresh knowledge, or y o u t h -

offhandedly. To m a k e physical t h e mystery is in s o m e sense to do-

ful skills, b u t because they're at a stage of life w h e n e n t h u s i a s m

mesticate it. We ask t h e p o e t t o take w h a t surpasses o u r u n d e r -

flows freely, a stage w h e n people m o s t often write poetry. "Every

standing and force it into t h e strait jacket of language, t o rinse t h e

child is a n artist," Pablo Picasso observed. "The p r o b l e m is h o w to

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r e m a i n an artist once h e grows up." Those w h o stay poets all of

richer w a y m o r e familiar t h a n w e t h o u g h t , and stranger t h a n

their lives c o n t i n u e to live in t h a t early state, o p e n and vulnerable

w e knew, a w o r l d laced w i t h w o n d e r . S o m e t i m e s w e need to be

and potentially d a m a g i n g as it can be.

t a u g h t h o w and w h e r e to seek w o n d e r , b u t it's always there, wait-

I suppose w h a t m o s t people associate w i t h p o e t r y is soul-

ing, full of m y s t e r y and magic. M u c h of m y o w n d u t y as a p o e t is

searching and fiercely felt e m o t i o n s . We expect t h e p o e t to be a

to o p e n those doors of vision, shine light into those dark corners

m o n g e r of intensity, to pain for us, to reach i n t o t h e campfire so

of existence, and search for fountains of innocence.

t h a t we can linger in t h e w o o d s and w a t c h w i t h o u t b u r n i n g o u r -

T h e p o e t Heinrich Heine once said: "Life is t h e best teacher,

selves or grubbying u p o u r clothes. T h e n , even if w e d o n ' t feel t h e

b u t t h e tuition is high." So t r u e . That's w h y it's i m p o r t a n t to find

fire, we can see t h e poet's face i l l u m i n a t e d by light, hear h e r

t i m e for poetry. Poetry is an e d u c a t i o n in life. It's also an act of

flushed chatter, t h e blazing w o o d crackle, and imagine well

deep play. As Huizinga points out, to call p o e t r y "a playing w i t h

e n o u g h w h a t t h e fire feels like from o u r safe r e m o v e . T h o u g h w e

w o r d s and language is n o m e t a p h o r : it is t h e precise and literal

can't live at red alert from day t o day, we expect t h e p o e t to, o n

t r u t h . " Every p o e m is a game, a ritual dance w i t h words. In t h e

o u r behalf, and to share t h a t intensity w i t h us w h e n we're in t h e

separate w o r l d of t h e art h e has created, t h e artist m o v e s in a

right m o o d . A n d if w e b e c o m e frightened or bored, w e can sim-

w a k i n g trance. According t o Freud, a lot of play is projection, in

ply p u t t h e p o e m back o n t h e shelf. Really, w e are asking t h e p o e t

w h i c h bad motives and feelings m a y be attributed to others, con-

t o live an extravagantly e m o t i o n a l life for us, so w e can add her

flicts m a y be reenacted in order t o m a s t e r t h e m , and fantasies

experiences to o u r o w n .

and wishes m a y be fulfilled. T h e same is t r u e of m a n y artworks.

Because poets feel w h a t we're afraid to feel, v e n t u r e w h e r e

I n t e n t o n o n e feature of life, exploring it mentally, developing

we're r e l u c t a n t to go, we learn from their j o u r n e y s w i t h o u t tak-

it in words, pigments, or sounds, an artist follows t h e rules of

ing t h e same dramatic risks. We cherish t h e insights t h a t poets

t h e game. S o m e t i m e s artists c h a n g e t h e game, impose their o w n

discover: we'd love to relish t h e m o m e n t and feel r a m p a n t amaze-

rules and disavow everyone else's. Art and play have as their hall-

m e n t as t h e seasons unfold. We y e a r n to explore t h e subtleties,

m a r k freedom of choice, and t h a t includes choosing n e w ways to

paradoxes, and edges of emotions. We long to see t h e h u m a n

use familiar materials and ideas. For example, let's look at h o w

condition reveal itself w i t h spellbinding clarity. T h i n k of all t h e

artists have taken t h e bicycle and r e n d e r e d it into deep play.

lessons to be learned from deep r a p t u r e , danger, t u m u l t , ro-

So m a n y artists have been inspired by t h e bicycle it w o u l d

mance, intuition. B u t it's far t o o e x h a u s t i n g to live like this o n a

take a separate b o o k to consider t h e m all. T h e r e are dozens

daily basis, so w e ask artists t o feel and explore o n o u r behalf. Dar-

of writers alone. A r t h u r C o n a n Doyle relied o n his beloved bicy-

ing to take intellectual and e m o t i o n a l chances, poets live o n their

cle to give h i m inspiration for his Sherlock H o l m e s mysteries.

senses. In p r o m o t i n g a fight of his, a boxer once said: "I'm in t h e

" W h e n t h e spirits are low, w h e n t h e day appears dark, w h e n w o r k

h u r t business." In a different way, poets are, too.

b e c o m e s m o n o t o n o u s , w h e n h o p e hardly seems w o r t h having,"

A n d yet, t h r o u g h their e y e s p e r h a p s because t h e y risk so

h e advised, "just m o u n t a bicycle and go o u t for a spin d o w n t h e

m u c h w e discover b r e a t h t a k i n g views of t h e h u m a n pageant.

road, w i t h o u t t h o u g h t o n a n y t h i n g b u t t h e ride you are taking."

Borrowing t h e lens of a poet's sensibility, w e see t h e w o r l d in a

William Saroyan's love affair w i t h bicycles b e g a n early o n a n d

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c o n t i n u e d t h r o u g h o u t his life. He swears t h a t " t h e bicycle is

t h e h o p e t h a t o n e doesn't topple off in t h e middle. In The Third

t h e noblest i n v e n t i o n of m a n k i n d , " a n d t h a t h e l e a r n e d style,

Policeman, Irish novelist Flann O'Brien often celebrates t h e ro-

r h y t h m , imagination, timing, h o w to m e e t schedules, and t h e

m a n c e , erotics, and sheer mysticism of cycling. " H o w can I con-

i m p o r t a n c e of ritual from riding his bicycle. " O u t of r h y t h m

vey t h e perfection of m y c o m f o r t o n t h e bicycle," h e writes, " t h e

c o m e m a n y things," h e observes in The Bicycle Rider in Beverly Hills,

c o m p l e t e n e s s of m y u n i o n w i t h her, t h e sweet responses she gave

"perhaps all things." Iris M u r d o c h ' s r o m a n t i c novels frequently

m e at every particle of her frame? I felt t h a t I h a d k n o w n h e r for

include bicycling, because, as she explains in The Red and the Green

m a n y years and t h a t she h a d k n o w n m e and t h a t w e u n d e r s t o o d

(1965), " t h e bicycle is t h e m o s t civilized conveyance k n o w n to

each o t h e r utterly." M a n y o t h e r writers have felt their spirits

m a n . O t h e r forms of t r a n s p o r t g r o w daily m o r e n i g h t m a r i s h .

roused by cycling, felt themselves lofted into a state w h e r e t i m e

O n l y t h e bicycle r e m a i n s p u r e in heart." In "My Bike & O t h e r

stands still. In Cakes and Ale (1930), W. Somerset M a u g h a m writes:

Friends," H e n r y Miller writes r a p t u r o u s l y a b o u t "his eternal

" S o m e t i m e s t h e road was only a lane, w i t h thick h a w t h o r n

friend," his bicycle, w h i c h h e could always rely on, "which is

hedges, and t h e green elms o v e r h u n g it o n either side so t h a t

m o r e t h a n I could say about m y buddies." In " T a m i n g t h e Bicy-

w h e n you looked u p t h e r e was only a strip of blue sky between.

cle," Mark Twain explores t h e sensory delights and general hi-

A n d as you rode along in t h e w a r m , keen air you h a d t h e sensa-

larity of cycling. "Get a bicycle," h e advises readers. "You will n o t

tion t h a t t h e w o r l d was standing still and life w o u l d last forever.

regret it if you live." There's absurdist Alfred Jarry's o u t r a g e o u s

A l t h o u g h y o u w e r e pedaling w i t h such energy you h a d a deli-

"The Passion Considered as an Uphill Bicycle Race" (1900), in

cious feeling of laziness." Looked at from t h e right perspective,

w h i c h h e argues: "A few people have insinuated falsely t h a t Jesus'

"Everything is bicycle," as S t e p h e n C r a n e p u t s it.

m a c h i n e was a draisienne, an unlikely m o u n t for an uphill race.

Marcel D u c h a m p installed a bicycle fork and wheel o n a stool

According to t h e old cyclophile hagiographers, St. Bridget, St.

t o achieve his Bicycle Wheel of 1913. Fernand Leger has a wonderful

Gregory of Tours, and St. Irene, t h e cross was equipped w i t h a de-

painting, Les Loisirs, d o n e in t h e 1940s, w h i c h is a snarl of people,

vice which t h e y n a m e d suppedaneum. T h e r e is n o n e e d to be a great

plants, and bicycles. Robert R a u s c h e n b e r g outlined bicycles in

scholar to translate this as 'pedal.' " In S a m u e l Beckett's Molloy

colorful n e o n in his Bicycloid series. Sir Edward Elgar liked t o cycle

(1965), t h e title character rides a m o s t peculiar bicycle ("To blow

a r o u n d t h e M a l v e r n countryside while composing. C h o r e o g r a -

this h o r n was for m e a real pleasure, a l m o s t a vice."). Dylan

p h e r s have often included bicycles in their w o r k . Most famously,

T h o m a s w r o t e a joyous "Me and My Bike" (1965). D. H. Lawrence

perhaps, Victoria C h a p l i n ( t h e d a u g h t e r of Charles and A n n a ) ,

describes erotic d o w n h i l l rides in Sons and Lovers (1913). In Wheels of

h e r h u s b a n d Jean BaptisteThierree, and their son James p u t o n a

Chance: A Bicycling Idyll (1896), H. G. Wells proclaims: " W h e n I see

p e r f o r m a n c e t h e y titled The Invisible Circus, in w h i c h t h e y became

an a d u l t on a bicycle, I do n o t despair for t h e future o f t h e h u m a n

"beings t h a t are h a l f - h u m a n and half-bicycle, for bicycle parts

race." To his m i n d , any ideal future m u s t include bikes, w h i c h is

g r o w from their bodies in imaginative configurations, and their

w h y h e promises t h a t "Cycle tracks will a b o u n d in Utopia." In A

m o v e m e n t s are c h a r m e d by t h e spin o f t h e wheel." S o m e m i g h t

Moving Target (1982), William Golding writes s o l e m n l y of a bike

argue t h a t Paul MacCready's pedaling a winged bicycle ( n a m e d

trip as a m e t a p h o r for life, c o m p l e t e w i t h beginning and end, and

t h e Gossamer Albatross) over t h e English C h a n n e l in 1979 was really

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a sky art performance, b u t h e claimed to be an e n v i r o n m e n t a l

p h e n o m e n a until t h e y yield a r e v e l a t i o n p e r h a p s a detail in

crusader wishing to d r a w a t t e n t i o n t o cycling's rightful place in

plain sight t h a t h a d been overlooked for millennia. S o m e t i m e s

m o d e r n life.

it's easy to miss obvious t r u t h s , w h i c h can lie like d i a m o n d s in t h e

Whatever a r t f o r m o n e chooses, w h a t e v e r materials and

roadway and be w h o l l y invisible to m u l t i t u d e s . T h e n t h e invisible

ideas, t h e creative siege is t h e same. O n e always finds rules, always

b e c o m e s l u m i n o u s , p e r h a p s even notorious, until at last it fades

t r e m e n d o u s concentration, e n t r a n c e m e n t , and exaltation, al-

i n t o t h e b a c k g r o u n d a g a i n - ^ t h i s t i m e from overfamiliarityand

ways t h e tension of spontaneity caged by restriction, always risk

r e t u r n s to invisibility by b e c o m i n g a cliche. O n e example of t h a t

of failure and humiliation, always t h e d r u m b e a t of rituals, always

p h e n o m e n o n is t h e Magic Eye doors t h a t automatically o p e n for

t h e willingness to be s h a k e n to t h e core, always an u r g e n t need to

you as you cross a light b e a m . W h e n I was little, I loved t o w a t c h a

stain t h e willows w i t h a glance.

certain sci-fi s h o w o n television. A m o n g its futuristic marvels

T h e world is d r e n c h e d with-color, and n a t u r e is full of spectacles. You w o u l d t h i n k t h a t w o u l d be e n o u g h . Yet w e are driven

to add even m o r e sensations to t h e world, to m a k e o u r t h o u g h t s

w e r e a u t o m a t i c doors; t h e y seemed m i r a c u l o u s . N o w w e stride

t h r o u g h t h e m w i t h o u t noticing.
W h e n I read o f t h e just-discovered Symbion pandora, a radically

and feelings visible t h r o u g h works of art. We create art for m a n y

n e w life-form that's p i n p o i n t small, trisexual (it will try any-

reasons. As a form of praise and celebration. To i m p o s e an order

thing), and lives o n t h e lips of lobsters, m y first t h o u g h t was: d o

o n t h e formless c l a m o r of t h e world. As a magical i n t e r m e d i a r y

lobsters have lips? B u t t h a t was quickly followed by a r e n e w e d

between us and t h e hostile, unpredictable universe. For religious

sense of wonder at t h e quirky fantasia of life on earth. With a m o u t h

reasons, in worship. For spiritual reasons, to c o m m u n e w i t h o t h -

like a hairy wheel, a n d o t h e r a n a t o m i c a l oddities, pandora is so o u t -

ers. To temporarily stop a w o r l d t h a t seems t o o fast, t o o r a n d o m ,

landish t h a t a special p h y l u m was created for i t C y c l i o p h o r a , of

t o o chaotic. To help locate ourselves in n a t u r e , and give us a sense

which pandora is t h e sole m e m b e r .

of h o m e . Art brings p a t t e r n , m e a n i n g , and perspective t o life. We

I m u s t admit, I get a devilish delight w h e n t h e m i r a c u l o u s

keep trying to s u m life up, to frame small parts of it, t o break it

appears right u n d e r m y nose. After all, t h e m a r v e l o u s is a weed

into eye-gulps, i n t o visual morsels t h a t are easier t o digest. T h e

species. O n e can glimpse it o n one's doorstep. People often ask

styles of art m a y differ w i d e l y D u r e r ' s rhinoceros; a Japanese

m e w h e r e t h e y m i g h t go to find adventure. A d v e n t u r e is n o t

b r u s h p a i n t i n g b u t all are concerned w i t h m o t i o n , balance,

s o m e t h i n g you m u s t travel to find, I tell t h e m , it's s o m e t h i n g you

s y m m e t r y , color, order, m e a n i n g . We also create art as a powerful

take w i t h you. T h e astonishing can t u r n u p in t h e leaf clutter, or

form of deep play. Even at its m o s t lawless, it has rules, a p a t t e r n

even at a n e i g h b o r h o o d restaurant, in a dingy tank, o n t h e lips

and logic missing from everyday life, a chance to m a k e believe. It

of lobsters.

allows each artist to p u t herself in h a r m o n y w i t h t h e universe, to

We forget t h a t t h e world is always m o r e and stranger t h a n

find a balance, however briefly, in life's h u r r i c a n e . For m e this be-

w e guess. Or can guess. Instead, w e search for simple answers,

c o m e s m o s t personal in poetry, b u t o t h e r s relish creative mis-

simple laws of n a t u r e , in a sleight of m i n d t h a t makes us uniquely

chief of a different sort.

h u m a n . Just as w e ' r e addicted t o rules, h o m e t r u t h s , a n d slo-

A n especially thrilling creative g a m e involves playing w i t h

gans, we're addicted to certain ways of explaining things. There's

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b o u n d to be a simple answer to everything, w e insist. Maybe n o t .

ally m e a n s to u n c o v e r s o m e t h i n g that's h i d d e n from view. But

Maybe complexity frightens us. Maybe w e fear b e c o m i n g as

w h a t really h a p p e n s is a c h a n g e in t h e viewer. T h e familiar offers

plural as all we survey. Maybe w e still tacitly believe t h a t t h e u n i -

a c o m f o r t few can resist, and fewer still w a n t to disturb. But as

verse was created for o u r pleasure, t h a t we pint-sized demigods

relatively recent inventions such as t h e telescope and m i c r o -

are its sole audience and goal. T h e n s o m e t h i n g like pandora t u r n s

scope have t a u g h t us, t h e u n k n o w n has m a n y layers. Every t r u t h

up, a m i n u t e being w i t h a sex life even stranger t h a n o u r o w n , a

has geological strata, and for s o m e t r u t h s t h e opposite m a y be

c r e a t u r e t h a t breaks all t h e rules and gives biologists a jolt.

equally t r u e (for example, you can't have an o r t h o d o x y w i t h o u t

Because we have s w a r m e d across t h e w o r l d w i t h o u r curious

a heresy). Huizinga argues t h a t science is n o t play, because play

and agile minds, w e s o m e t i m e s t h i n k t h a t n a t u r e has been fully

exists outside of reality, and science is indispensably wedded to

explored, b u t that's far from true. Plants and animals are going

reality. B u t I t h i n k t h e play e l e m e n t is also strong for s o m e scien-

extinct at an appalling r a t e s o m e estimates are as high as 300

tists, especially scientists w o r k i n g in speculative

species a d a y a n d m a n y of t h e m are vanishing mysteries. T h e

exobiology and physics. For example, T h o m a s Eisner plays better

fieldssuch

as

riches of t h e n a t u r a l world are slipping t h r o u g h o u r fingers be-

t h a n m o s t people I know. T h e secret to his success as an e n t o -

fore we can even call t h e m by n a m e . H a n g i n g o n by a suction

mologist is his fascination w i t h story and his openness to n e w

cup, and reaching a r o u n d to v a c u u m u p fallen morsels from a

challenges. T h a t h e also creates a r t h e is an accomplished pi-

dining lobster's lips, pandora r e m i n d s us t h a t w e share o u r p l a n e t

anist and a p h o t o g r a p h e r whose works h a n g in m u s e u m s a d d s

w i t h u n s e e n hordes, and it hints at t h e u n i q u e n e s s of o u r o w n

a n o t h e r d i m e n s i o n to his knowledge. I've often g o n e afield w i t h

c o m p l e x niche.

h i m , and shared his m i s c h i e v o u s work-play. Joyful and c o m -

Recently a Cornell graduate s t u d e n t , strolling t h r o u g h t h e

pletely absorbed, h a p p y to shed t h e confines of ordinary life for

woods, h a p p e n e d u p o n a fungus in a curious state of arousal.

a while, h e takes t o t h e field like an o t t e r to a kelp garden. Once,

O d d e r still, it was s p r o u t i n g behind t h e head of a beetle grub. In-

in t h e Florida scrublands, h e tossed a m o t h into a spider's web,

trigued, she t o o k it t o a laboratory, studied it carefully, asked t h e

t h e n waited to see w h a t t h e spider did. W h e n t h e spider hustled

right questions, and soon realized t h a t she h a d m a d e an a s t o u n d -

d o w n her web, s p u r n e d t h e food, and even methodically c u t it

ing discovery: a sexual form of Cordyceps subsessilis, a m o l d t h a t p r o -

o u t of h e r web, Tom's curiosity ignited. Spiders relish m o t h s .

duces cyclosporin, an i m m u n o s u p p r e s s a n t used to c o m b a t organ

Why didn't t h e spider eat this one? So t h e picaresque story began.

rejection. We k n o w t h e tropics contain a rich p h a r m a c o p o e i a , b u t

Before it was finished, h e h a d discovered t h a t t h e m o t h was poi-

for m a n y organisms o u r backyards are still u n e x p l o r e d , too.

sonous, t h a t t h e spider sensed t h e danger, w h a t p l a n t t h e m o t h

Variety is t h e pledge t h a t m a t t e r m a k e s to living things.

ate ( w h e n it was a caterpillar) to b e c o m e poisonous, and w h a t

T h i n k of a niche and life will fill it, t h i n k of a shape and life will

p u r p o s e t h e poison served. It's always a tale of love and death to

explore it, t h i n k of a d r a m a and life will stage it. I personally find

T o m , a tale p u n c t u a t e d by seduction and deceit. Like Sherlock

p a m p a s grass an unlikely configuration of m a t t e r , b u t n o stranger

Holmes, h e can't resist t h e trail of a good mystery.

t h a n we h u m a n s , t h e lonely bipeds w i t h t h e giant dreams.

At t h e h e a r t o f t h e w o r d "discovery" is a b o o m e r a n g . It liter-

M a n y discoveries are h a p p y accidents of play. After a lifetime's search for traces of o u r ancestors, Mary Leakey m a d e t h e

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m o s t i m p o r t a n t find of h e r career because of a d u n g - t o s s i n g

livered a calf. W h e n it lifted u p its fluffy head and looked at m e , its

game. O n e day in 1978, in Tanzania, researchers were h u r l i n g ele-

eyes held t h e absolute b e w i l d e r m e n t of t h e newly b o r n . A m o -

p h a n t d u n g at o n e a n o t h e r in a playful c a m p fight w h e n s o m e -

m e n t before it h a d enjoyed t h e even, black n o w h e r e of t h e

o n e fell d o w n and h a p p e n e d t o notice m a r k i n g s in t h e clay t h a t

w o m b , and s u d d e n l y its world was full of color, m o v e m e n t , and

looked like imprints of raindrops and a n i m a l tracks. T h e impres-

noise. I've never seen a n y t h i n g so shocked to be alive. Discoverers

sions were 3.7 million years old, and preserved in h a r d e n e d ash

keep s o m e of t h a t initial sense of surprise lifelong, and yearn to

t h a t h a d eroded over t h e years. O n l y partial tracks w e r e visible, so

b e h o l d even m o r e marvels. Trapped in t h e palatial r u t of o u r

it was difficult to tell w h a t left t h e m . In time, M a r y Leakey u n -

senses, w e invent m e c h a n i c a l extensions for t h e m , and w i t h each

covered a trail of footprints left by t h r e e h u m a n s m a l e , female,

n e w a t t a c h m e n t m o r e o f t h e universe becomes available. S o m e of

and c h i l d t h a t led across t h e volcanic plain. As t h e footprints

t h e richest m o m e n t s in people's lives have c o m e from playing

clearly showed, t h e female paused at o n e p o i n t and t u r n e d to h e r

w i t h a m e n t a l box full of n u m b e r s or ideas, rotating it, shaking it,

left. T h e child's footprints s o m e t i m e s dawdled b e h i n d t h o s e of

while t h e h o u r s slip by, until at last t h e box begins to rattle and a

t h e adults and s o m e t i m e s overlapped; t h e child m a y have been

revelation spills o u t . A n d t h e n t h e r e are t h o s e awkward psycho-

stepping in its parents' footprints o n p u r p o s e , a g a m e children

logical mysteries. I suspect h u m a n n a t u r e will always be like m e r -

still play. M a r y Leakey was p r o f o u n d l y m o v e d by possibly o u r

cury, a puzzle t o grasp. N o m a t t e r h o w m u c h of t h e physical

earliest glimpse of h u m a n behavior: t h e female's pausing to t u r n .

universe w e fathom, w h a t makes us quintessentially h u m a n

"This m o t i o n , so intensely h u m a n , transcends time," she w r o t e

eludes us to s o m e degree, because it's impossible for a system to

in National Geographic. "A r e m o t e a n c e s t o r j u s t as y o u o r I

observe itself w i t h m u c h objectivity. W h e n it comes t o powerful

experienced a m o m e n t of doubt." Or of discovery. Perhaps t h e

e m o t i o n s l o v e , for i n s t a n c e e a c h couple rediscovers it, each

female heard a relative call, or sensed a d a n g e r o u s p r e d a t o r . Vol-

g e n e r a t i o n redefines it. Of course, t h a t makes studying h u m a n

canoes s p u r t e d ash o n t o those plains; she m a y have been m o n i -

n a t u r e all t h e m o r e sporting.

toring a t h r e a t e n i n g p l u m e in t h e distance. Maybe she was simply

I rarely dwell o n this w h e n I go biking t h r o u g h t h e c o u n t r y -

enjoying t h e s c e n e r y t h e c h a n g i n g stir of s u n and shadow, a

side each day; I d o n ' t w o r r y a b o u t t h e mites t h a t live a m o n g m y

whiff of newly risen plants, an u n u s u a l land a n i m a l or bird taking

eyelashes either. I have o t h e r fish to fry: t h e local land trust's

flightas she strolled happily w i t h h e r m a t e and child. We k n o w

c a m p a i g n for acreage, t h e plight of e n d a n g e r e d animals and land-

her life m a d e relentless physical and e m o t i o n a l d e m a n d s , as ours

scapes, t h e fate of t h e residents of a local psychiatric institution

does, and she felt t h e basic e m o t i o n s w e do. She w o u l d have e n -

w h o w e r e kicked o u t d u e t o recent state cutbacks, n o t to m e n t i o n

joyed family comforts; she w o u l d have feared; she w o u l d have

all t h e n o r m a l m a y h e m s of t h e heart. B u t a crazy smile comes

played; she w o u l d have been curious a b o u t t h e world.

over m y face w h e n I t h i n k of Symbion pandora. I like k n o w i n g t h e

T h e m o m e n t a n e w b o r n opens its eyes, discovery begins. I

w o r l d will never be small e n o u g h t o exhaust in o n e lifetime. N o

learned this w i t h a l a u g h o n e m o r n i n g in N e w Mexico, w h e r e I

m a t t e r h o w h a r d or w h e r e w e look, even u n d e r o u r o w n or a

w o r k e d t h r o u g h t h e seasons of a large cattle ranch. O n e day, I de-

lobster's nose, surprise awaits us. T h e r e will always be plenty of

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n a t u r e ' s secrets waiting t o be told. This is o n e of t h o s e tidy,

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'^'-o'

simple-sounding t r u t h s I m e n t i o n e d , t h e sort of t h i n g h u m a n s
crave. And I believe it because I g o t it straight from a lobster's lips.
CHAPTER

SEVEN

W h e n discovery rises t o t h e m e n t a l whirlwind of deep play, its

rituals seem to reverberate w i t h m e a n i n g and b e c o m e c e r e m o nial, holy in their i m p o r t a n c e . By its n a t u r e , all art is ceremonial,

( L > e r e m x m i e s

w h i c h w e s o m e t i m e s forget, except p e r h a p s w h e n w e t h i n k o f t h e
Neolithic cave painters in t h e mysterium tremendum of their task. At
o f

their heights, scientific inquiry and art b o t h can teach us a way of

seeing a n d feeling, lest w e spend a lifetime o n this p l a n e t w i t h o u t

noticing t h e unfurling of a d o g w o o d blossom, t h e gauzy spread
of t h e Milky Way o n a star-loaded s u m m e r night, or t h e translucent green of a dragonfly's wings. A c e r e m o n y refuses t o let

We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes,

things merge, lie low, s u c c u m b t o habit. It hoists events from

tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged

their routine, plays w i t h t h e m awhile, and lays t h e m o u t in t h e

into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters

s u n s h i n e for us t o celebrate and savor.

we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden

in as if caves. I wish for all this to be marked on my
body when I am dead. I believe in such cartography
to be marked by nature, not just to label ourselves
on a map like the names of rich men and women on
,.*

buildings. We are communal histories, communal

books. We are not owned or monogamous in our
taste or experience. All I desired was to walk upon
such an earth that had no maps.
Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
The holiest of all holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart,
The secret anniversaries ofthe h e a r t . . .
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

-
is

:;v -rC *lc ^ r - - ^ - t r '=V ~ t ^ ~ % x : < r ^ - ^ r^-fcs

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us from t h e t e d i u m of n o n s t o p analysis. Obsessive-compulsives

ritualize t o t h e p o i n t of m a n i a , b u t they're u n u s u a l in that. Withp e l l b o u n d in small glades w h e r e perfect order reigns, people
s
briefly forget t h e chaos and confusion of t h e outside world,

o u t rituals we'd find life t o o e x h a u s t i n g t o live. S o m e t i m e s t h e

whose c u s t o m s n o longer m a t t e r , whose laws n o longer bind.

l o n g after they've forgotten why. Halloween n o longer signals

Playground and hallowed g r o u n d are t h e same. B o t h are t e m p o -

t h e e n d o f t h e g r o w i n g season a n d t h e r a m p a n t decay of a u t u m n .

rary worlds inside t h e everyday world, w h e r e special c u s t o m s

Yet w e faithfully c o s t u m e ourselves as ghouls; and any child

reign. Gamesespecially p r o f o u n d and exacting g a m e s a b i d e

can tell you all t h e rules and regulations o f t h e holiday. C h u r c h -

by their o w n rules, and provide their o w n m e a n i n g . "No scepti-

goers m a y cherish t h e p a g e a n t r y of s o m e ceremonies w i t h o u t

cism is possible w h e r e t h e rules of a g a m e are concerned," Paul

u n d e r s t a n d i n g t h e m . Secret rituals lend a religious t o n e to m a n y

Valery writes, "for t h e principle u n d e r l y i n g t h e m is an u n s h a k -

w o r l d l y clubs, from t h e Boy Scouts t o t h e Masons to t h e E d m u n d

able t r u t h . "

Husserl C a n o e Club. Full of c o m p l e x rituals and exotic cere-

rituals develop a g r a n d e u r of their o w n , and people practice t h e m

In t h e holy arena of deep play, rituals and ceremonies

monies, sports can b e c o m e self-enclosed worlds. T h e ritual world

abound. Special c o n d u c t m u s t be followed, events m u s t h a p p e n

requires seclusion and secrecy, and t h a t blends in well w i t h

in a given order. Even t o enter t h e g a m e m a y require danger, t o r -

household routine.

ture, or c u n n i n g . Since t h e d a w n of society, for example, initia-

M a n y quiet rituals have s u b m e r g e d into t h e sea of everyday

tion rituals have w e l c o m e d adolescents into t h e magic circle of

life t o t h e p o i n t of invisibility-dressing t h e children for school,

t h e tribe. To b e c o m e p a r t of an elite, a p e r s o n usually h a d t o be

going o u t jogging, p a u s i n g for tea and sweets each afternoon,

debased and humiliated. For w o m e n t h a t often m e a n t infantiliz-

crawling into bed w i t h a glass of w a r m milk, getting dolled u p be-

ing, for m e n infantilizing plus feminizing. Pain, ingesting foods

fore an evening o u t . Rituals of self-care, p l a n n e d and savored, can

t h a t were t h e n vomited, and freeing oneself from female c o n -

rise u p like a s h i m m e r i n g oasis at t h e end of a long dry day. T h e r e

t a m i n a t i o n allowed y o u n g m e n to be b o r n again i n t o an all-male

are real holidays, of course, sprinkled t h r o u g h o u t t h e year. But I

world. This still goes o n in m a n y tribes, including t h e e x t r e m e l y

prefer personal, everyday rituals. Taking a rambling sort of follow-

tribal US a r m e d forces. T h e r e are rituals of passage and aging.

the-road-wherever-it-leads m y s t e r y trip o n Sunday afternoons,

M a n y of t h o s e we've k e p t in o u r birth, death, and marriage r i t u -

sharing breakfast and secrets w i t h a good friend by t e l e p h o n e on

als, o u r religious confirmations, and g r a d u a t i o n ceremonies, to

Saturday m o r n i n g s . I also like p r e p a r i n g for t h e change of sea-

n a m e only a few. T h e military, c h u r c h , and s o m e clubs practice

sons. For example, t h a t maniacal flurry of tidying and organizing

elaborate rituals of acceptance and tests of devotion. In a sense, all

w e refer t o as "spring cleaning" s o m e h o w seems to t u g t h e w a r m

of t h e m are forms of deep play t h a t serve t o bind c o m m u n i t i e s

w e a t h e r a little closer. House magic is w h a t I call it. Akin to h u n t -

together, to reinforce collective value systems.

ing magic. A ceremonial activity w e h o p e will conjure spring from

At first, t h e rules of these games m a y n o t m a k e sense, or t h e y

t h e icy dirt, just as in fall, m a d bulb-planting seems to keep t h e

m a y be difficult to master. B u t in time, t h r o u g h pious repetition,

rigors of w i n t e r at bay. O u r need for rituals and ceremonies, for

w e learn t h e m by heart. Rituals guide us, help us focus, and free

specialness t o arise from routine, is so powerful t h a t all couples

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and families invent their o w n private ones to add to those ex-

quickly spoil. B u t o n e is less likely to heed h e a l t h advice t h a n reli-

pected by society.

gious law, so keeping kosher b e c a m e a sacrament. In time, t h e

H o m e is w h e r e t h e h e a r t is, w e say, r u b b i n g t h e flint of o n e

reason for t h e laws faded and t h e y t o o k o n a life of their o w n .

abstraction against a n o t h e r . We will gladly navigate t h r o u g h d a n -

S o m e primitive r i t u a l s w h o s e p u r p o s e is to fuse friends,

ger, discomfort, and t h e shoals of despair, if w e believe h o m e

relatives, or c o m m u n i t i e s t h r o u g h deep p l a y c o n t i n u e to feel

awaits us. Wars are often fought t o p r o t e c t a h o m e l a n d . T h i n k

deeply satisfying: baby showers, w h e r e w o m e n g a t h e r to wel-

w h a t Odysseus braved to get back h o m e . "Get-home-itis" is t h e

c o m e a f o r t h c o m i n g life into t h e tribe; birthday parties, w h e n w e

m o s t c o m m o n cause of general aviation crashes. What makes a house

celebrate a loved one's m e r e existence o n t h e planet; and holidays

a home? is asked by sociology and p o p songs alike. A h o u s e can be a

t h a t m a r k t h e procession of t h e seasons. Every day of t h e Celtic

simple shelter, b u t a home is t h e physical manifestation of one's

year was sacred and required prayers, chants, and rituals to e n -

i n n e r life. Heavily idealized, it includes a foundation, insulation,

sure t h e success of family, livestock, and crops. At t h e Beltane fes-

and t h e right tool for every real or imaginary calamity. Hence re-

tival, o n t h e first day of s u m m e r , cattle were driven t h r o u g h t w o

m o d e l i n g becomes a m i x of obsession a n d hope, a symbolic revi-

firesto

sion of self, a renovation of goals. Small w o n d e r t h a t s o m e o f t h e

grazing pastures. At night, torch-bearing crofters circled r o u n d

m o s t p o p u l a r shows o n television are episodic tales of h o u s e re-

to bless t h e crops, and in each h o m e t h e h e a r t h fire was s m o t h -

pair. T h e home becomes a principality in w h i c h certain values are

ered a n d t h e n relit from a sacred flame. W h e n seasons c h a n g e ,

u p h e l d , certain subjects or w o r d s are taboo, an asylum, a sacred

a r i t u a l always m a r k s t h e day. Once, at a n artists' c o l o n y o n a

r e a l m full of rituals.

Florida estuary, t h i r t y of us gathered to celebrate t h e s u m m e r

purify their spiritbefore being h e r d e d t o t h e rich

S o m e rituals are so ancient t h a t few people r e m e m b e r w h y

solstice w i t h song and ritual. In stilted-up cottages c o n n e c t e d by

t h e w e d d i n g ring goes o n t h e third finger or w h y t h e bride wears

raised walkways, w e lived along t h e estuary like a t r o u p e of wild

white. (The R o m a n s believed a n e r v e r a n from t h e t h i r d finger t o

m a c a q u e s nestled a m o n g t h e green bosoms of t h e trees, high

t h e h e a r t ; a w h i t e w e d d i n g g o w n was first w o r n by A n n e of

above a dense forest floor t h a t leprosy-prone armadillos shared

Brittany at h e r m a r r i a g e t o Louis XII of France, in 1499. Before

w i t h wild pigs, raccoons, foxes, and pine snakes. Spanish moss

t h a t , a w o m a n just w o r e h e r best dress, a n d it was often yellow or

h u n g everywhere like scribbles of DNA. G a t h e r i n g outside m y

red.) A Catholic friend tells m e t h a t , in h e r girlhood, w h e n e v e r

h o u s e t o celebrate s u m m e r solstice, we each w r o t e a wish o n a

she got a m o s q u i t o bite, she h a d t o m a k e t h e sign o f t h e cross o n it

small p e n n a n t of paper, and tossed t h e chits into t h e fire, w h e r e

w i t h o n e finger, w h i c h she did m a i n l y from superstition. T h e

t h e y b u r s t into flames and danced o n h o t vapors into t h e night.

bites did heal faster t h a t way, t h o u g h , and she n o w t h i n k s it m a y

Like fireflies, o u r u n s p o k e n hopes flashed toward heaven. Seated

be because t h e m o t i o n spread o u t t h e toxins. For s o m e Jews,

at t h a t solstice campfire, I w a t c h e d each paper wish t r e m b l e into

keeping kosher is an i m p o r t a n t religious ritual, in w h i c h dishes

flame for a m o m e n t and kite h i g h e r and h i g h e r until it joined t h e

t o u c h e d by milk and m e a t are k e p t separate. T h e practice origi-

o t h e r s in a b o u q u e t of sparks, t h e n m i n g l e d w i t h t h e constella-

n a t e d in a h o t climate as a dietary law w h o s e goal was t h e h e a l t h

tions and vanished into night.

of t h e c o m m u n i t y . W h e n mixed together, m i l k and m e a t can

Years ago, a friend and I invented Blossom Day, w h i c h we

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celebrated w h e n her seven-year-old d a u g h t e r saw t h e first petals

usual prognosis for his disease, b u t still his d e a t h was a real s t u n -

o n t h e d o g w o o d tree outside h e r w i n d o w . T h e n w e t h r e e "blos-

ner. For days, I was shaken, paralyzed by shock, and c o u l d n ' t

s o m sisters" w o u l d g a t h e r beside t h e tree t o w o r s h i p M o t h e r

m a k e sense of his being gone. For so l o n g h e had been a constant

Nature, praise t h e g r o w i n g things of t h e e a r t h , and pledge o u r

in t h e landscape of m y life, s o m e t i m e s close, s o m e t i m e s distant,

loyalty to o n e a n o t h e r . T h e c e r e m o n y always started w i t h g a t h -

b u t always a presence. He was y o u n g (barely sixty-two), and

ering u p armfuls of flowers and m a k i n g a pilgrimage to t h e offi-

h a p p y w i t h his life, w h i c h included fame and f o r t u n e and a family

cial Blossom Tree. T h e r e w e held h a n d s a r o u n d t h e sapling and

h e adored. M a n y of his goals h e h a d achieved. He h a d acquired

i n t o n e d a few words of thanksgiving. T h e n w e a d j o u r n e d t o t h e

p o w e r , w e a l t h , access to i m p o r t a n t people in m a n y walks of life,

living r o o m to exchange small presents, a symbol of Nature's

t h e adoration of countless fans, and a gift afforded very few: h e

b o u n t y p r e t t y stones, fragrant soaps, p o t s of herbs, p e r h a p s a

could d o a l m o s t a n y t h i n g h e w a n t e d to professionally. Yet n o n e

colorful scarf. After t h a t , t h e d a u g h t e r g o t to style and restyle m y

of t h a t was e n o u g h t o save h i m . His death at t h e height of his

long hair. (Once, w h e n I asked h e r w h a t she w a n t e d t o be w h e n

happiness and career s l a m m e d us all h a r d w i t h t h e same t r u t h :

she grew up, she had answered "president o f t h e U n i t e d States . . .

h o w fragile life is, h o w m o r t a l w e are, h o w close to death we live

and also a hairdresser." I promised her t h a t if she did b e c o m e

every w a k i n g second. These are t h e m o s t obvious of all t r u t h s ,

president I w o u l d positively go t o h e r to have m y hair done.) T h e

b u t by necessity w e deny t h e m or we w o u l d be t o o shell-shocked

day usually ended at m y house, w h e r e we d r a n k p e p p e r m i n t tea

t o live. T h e n s o m e t h i n g horribly possible h a p p e n s t h e u n -

and ate pecan sticky buns, and were joined by t h e guys, w h o m w e

timely d e a t h of a f r i e n d a n d t h e invisible becomes obvious for a

dubbed t h e m a l e auxiliary o f t h e Blossom Sisters: t h e S t a - m e n .

m o m e n t . Dazed, w e slip b e t w e e n t h e figments of t i m e and n o t h -

Alas, m y friend's h u s b a n d died last year, after a brave fight

w i t h cancer, and so instead of Blossom Day, w e found ourselves

ing fits right, n o t day or night. It takes a long while for t h e topsyt u r v y world t o regain its equilibrium.

sharing a funeral and m a n y rituals of grief. People gave food and

W h a t h a p p e n s first is a flood of m e m o r i e s . W h e n I was

flowers, traded m e m o r i e s , comforted and consoled. As a long-

twenty, I heard Gustav Hoist's powerfully melodic The Planets, and

t i m e friend o f t h e family, I k n e w h o w sick h e h a d been for nearly

I t h o u g h t h o w sad it was t h a t artists felt t h e need to deny t h e

t w o years, b u t I also k n e w t h a t only a week before h e was u p b e a t

reality o f t h e planets, t o p r e t e n d t h e y w e r e gods and goddesses in

and confident of recovery. True, h e h a d a cold, b u t otherwise h e

order t o a d m i r e t h e m , to completely ignore their a u t h e n t i c

felt energetic and well. After t h r e e b o n e - m a r r o w t r a n s p l a n t s

n a t u r a l beauty. T h e real planets fascinated m e , and I w a n t e d t o

essentially to replace his i m m u n e system w i t h his sister'she

learn m o r e about t h e m and celebrate t h e m in art. W h e n I entered

seemed to have beaten t h e cancer. However, c h e m o t h e r a p y h a d

graduate school, I began writing The Planets: A Cosmic Pastoral, a suite

badly w e a k e n e d his lungs, and t h a t was w h a t u l t i m a t e l y led t o

of scientifically accurate p o e m s about t h e planets. At t h a t time,

his death.

m y friend Carl Sagan h a d published only o n e bookintelligent Life

I k n e w h i m for twenty-seven years, was friends w i t h t w o of

in the Universewhich h e c o a u t h o r e d w i t h I. S. Shklovskii. Because

his t h r e e wives, w a t c h e d t h r e e of his five children grow, and e n -

I found a kindred spirit in its pages, I asked h i m t o be t h e technical

joyed his fascinating parents. I k n e w h o w sick h e was and t h e

advisor o n The Planets, and h e was h a p p y t o oblige.

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I discovered h i m to be a shy, m o d e s t , easily e n t h u s e d scientist

w i t h a r o m p y m i n d and boundless curiosity. He loved t o play

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university, w h e n h e was a badly c o m b e d scientist w i t h a world of

ideas a n d I was a fledgling poet.

w i t h ideas, and h e h a d a great capacity for silliness as well as

I h o p e Blossom Day will be r e n e w e d s o m e t i m e , b u t n o w w e

solemnity. As h e did w i t h so m a n y students, h e o p e n e d his lab

n e e d t h e c e r e m o n y of m o u r n i n g , w h i c h has b o u n d and n o u r -

and library t o m e , and we h a d wonderful gabfests. In t h e early

ished people since t i m e i m m e m o r i a l . T h e essence of c e r e m o n y is

seventies, it was possible t o learn e v e r y t h i n g h u m a n s k n e w about

t o give value t o s o m e t h i n g , to raise it u p in i m p o r t a n c e or sacred-

t h e planets, and w i t h his help I tried to. A little later, h e played a

ness. W h e n h a r s h things h a p p e n , rituals help us integrate t r a u m a

vital role o n m y doctoral c o m m i t t e e . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , m o s t col-

and loss. T h e y decrease o u r sense of helplessness. Rituals easily

leges foolishly d e m a n d e d (and still do) t h a t s t u d e n t s choose be-

e m e r g e from life's c h a n g i n g seasons a n d t h e planet's. T h e r e used

t w e e n t h e H u m a n i t i e s and t h e Sciences, b u t I always felt t h a t t h e

to be m a n y m o r e rituals in o u r lives, s o m e of t h e m social, s o m e

universe wasn't k n o w a b l e from any o n e perspective. I craved t h e

religious, s o m e superstitious. T h e real goal of m a n y rituals lies

t r u t h s of Science and also t h e t r u t h s of t h e H u m a n i t i e s . Having

e m b e d d e d in o u r need for c o n t r o l over t h e forces of n a t u r e , b u t

h i m o n m y c o m m i t t e e legitimized m y interdisciplinary passion,

also for deep play. At any given m o m e n t , all over t h e planet, peo-

and also m a d e m e feel less alone in m y o w n explorations t h r o u g h

ple are s i m u l t a n e o u s l y going a b o u t their personal daily rituals

t h e world o f t h e arts.

and also t h e rituals of their family, c o m m u n i t y , religion, or c o u n -

Increasingly, w e b e c a m e friends, and s o m e of m y fondest

m e m o r i e s are of long ago, flying w i t h h i m t o Cocoa Beach,
Florida, for launches, or to t h e Jet Propulsion Laboratory in
Pasadena for

flybysmemories

of t h e early days a n d i n n o c e n c e

try. It has always been t h a t way, since h u m a n s first walked t h e

earth. B u t w h a t a distance we've c o m e , w h a t a distance remains.
^'i-.N&x\~iJSx;

of t h e space p r o g r a m , which h e p r o m o t e d w i t h c a n d o r and curi-

Consider o n e day in t h e life of Earth. As d a w n breaks over a small

osity. D u r i n g those years, he commissioned t w o p o e m s from m e :

farming t o w n in Ohio, people begin waking u p . Geese c l a m o r to

an old-fashioned love o d e b u t to an e x t r a t e r r e s t r i a l t h a t I ti-

be fed. Light seeps b e t w e e n t h e slats of a w e a t h e r e d barn, w h e r e

tled "Ode to t h e Alien," and a p o e m a b o u t "Nuclear Winter."

cows a n d p l o w h o r s e s s h a k e off t h e chill of n i g h t a n d wait for

T h a t was his quintessential n a t u r e , s o m e o n e w h o relished seeing

familiar h u m a n s t o appear. In t h e f a r m h o u s e , after staggering

things from as m a n y perspectives as possible, and loved asking t h e

sleepily downstairs, a m a n prepares a p o t of fragrant coffee. In a

question t h a t always leads t o deep play: "What w o u l d h a p p e n

rain forest n o r t h e a s t of Rio, people are also waking u p and pre-

i f . . . ?" So m u c h h a p p e n e d in his life after t h a t a landslide of

paring their breakfast coffeecafezinho they call i t a thick, syrupy

fame, his marriage to A n n , s o u l m a t e w i t h w h o m h e collaborated

d r i n k t h a t t h e y drip t h r o u g h gauze. In Churchill, C a n a d a

o n m a n y projects, t w o m o r e children, dozens of books, and a

w h e r e p o l a r bears s o m e t i m e s m e a n d e r d o w n t h e m a i n s t r e e t

television series. B u t t h e m i n d has so m a n y levers. In t h e sad days

and in t h e Antarctic's o t h e r w o r l d l y outposts, people are all

after his death I found t h e years telescoping backward, and s o m e

w a k i n g up, m a k i n g breakfast, going a b o u t their m o r n i n g chores.

of m y w a r m e s t m e m o r i e s scurrying to his (and m y ) early days at

Bird and insect choruses begin singing light operas in t h e fields

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and along t h e riverbanks. Foggy m e a d o w s exhale like great

w o u l d feel an even greater sense of belonging, of belonging

beasts, and t h e s u n washes over t h e p l a n e t yet again as it has d o n e

everywhere to everyone. B u t t h e r e are so m a n y of us, m o r e t h a n

t w o t h o u s a n d times in recorded history.

we can ever k n o w in a lifetimeor even imagine as individuals

O n this day, promises will be m a d e , trails will be blazed, art

t h a t w e often feel just t h e opposite: as if we belong n o w h e r e to n o

will be created, and t h e world's stock m a r k e t s will rise and fall.

one. We can m o v e a m o n g m u l t i t u d e s , and feel isolated and alone.

Love will flourish. Hearts will be broken. C h i l d r e n will learn to

We live u n i q u e , private lives of h o p e and self-interest. We also live

speak. N e w forms of spirited play will be invented. People will

polite, cooperative lives of t e a m w o r k and negotiation. W h e n o u r

w o r r y and pray. S o m e will take their first b r e a t h , a n d o t h e r s their

p o p u l a t i o n was low, t h a t m e a n t cooperating o n a h u n t or cere-

last. Civilization will go o n its green inevitable way as it has for

m o n y or marriage, or p e r h a p s t h e exchange of goods. We k n e w

t w o millennia.

t h e people w h o owed us, and t h o s e to w h o m w e were indebted.

A day in t h e life o f t h e e a r t h used t o include small gatherings

We k n e w o u r friends and allies o n s i g h t t h e y often revealed

of kin a r o u n d crackling fires. T h a t still h a p p e n s in r e m o t e places.

talents a n d t e m p e r s in t h e daily d r a m a s of t h e c o m m u n i t y . We

But m o s t h u m a n s g a t h e r in cities, s o m e of t h e m colossal empires

k n e w w h o m to t r u s t in a crisis, w h e r e to go for solace. Today

of m e t a l and stone, w h e r e steel m a s t o d o n s r u m b l e u n d e r g r o u n d ,

t h e r e are so m a n y of us t h a t w e forge alliances w i t h people

a n d crowds spend their days walking from o n e t e e m i n g t o w e r to

w e will n e v e r m e e t , w h o s e n a m e s w e d o n ' t even k n o w w i t h

a n o t h e r . In t h e lit Oz of a city hospital, a surgeon will be breaking

banks, i n s u r a n c e companies, sprawling corporations, g o v e r n -

o p e n t h e s h r o u d e d box of a w o m a n ' s chest and reaching a gloved

m e n t s , churches, a r m e d forces. We belong t o organizations m o r e

h a n d into its snug, lonely muscle.

v i r t u o u s and t r u s t w o r t h y t h a n any of their m e m b e r s are as indi-

O u r h u m a n story began w i t h small ragged bands of h u n t e r s ,

viduals. We belong to o u r families as w e always did, to kith and

gatherers, and foragers, desperately trying t o survive in a h a r s h

kin, b u t w e also belong electronically, telephonically, statistically,

climate. T h r o u g h c u n n i n g , ingenuity, and cooperation, t h e y

generationally, a n o n y m o u s l y to people far from us.

did, and t h r e e millennia l a t e r a m e r e blink in t h e history of

We are masons, blacksmiths, teachers, lawyers. We have in-

t h e c o s m o s w e are great swarms of people. Poets, astronauts,

v e n t e d m a c h i n e s in w h i c h w e fly, submersibles to p a t r o l t h e se-

sales corps, t a m e r s of cities, people w h o have n o t forgotten h o w

cret recesses of t h e oceans. We have polished t h e m a r b l e of o u r

to wish. We began namelessly, and t h e n t h e r e w e r e so m a n y of

cities, a n d also filled t h e m w i t h decay. We have h o m e s t e a d e d t h e

us t h a t w e t o o k t h e n a m e s of o u r parents, and t h e n t h e r e w e r e

n i g h t w i t h electric lights, t u r n i n g it into a dazzling country. We

so m a n y of us t h a t we t o o k t h e n a m e s of o u r jobs, and t h e n t h e r e

have learned sin and s h a m e , n e w w o r d s for hate, novel forms of

were so m a n y of us t h a t we m a d e lists of o u r n a m e s , and t h e n

mischief and deep play. We p e r f o r m t o w e r i n g feats of altruism.

t h e r e were so m a n y of us t h a t we scrawled o u r n a m e s o n

Little of it was p l a n n e d . It simply h a p p e n e d , child by child, loved

walls a n d rocks a n d m o r e e p h e m e r a l things, lest o u r n a m e s be

o n e by loved one, piece by piece, over t h e great caravan of h u m a n

forgotten.

history. In a sense w e are a single organism t h a t has s w a r m e d over

Once we were so few w e fit intimately into t h e life of ex-

t h e w h o l e planet, d e v o u r i n g it. O t h e r animals c a n n o t keep u p

t e n d e d families. As o u r n u m b e r s swelled, y o u w o u l d t h i n k w e

w i t h us. We m a y be blessed w i t h r o o m y imaginations, b u t w e are

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r u n n i n g o u t of resources. We have filled t h e p l a n e t u n t i l it is

b u r s t i n g w i t h us.
T h e A m a z o n is t h e largest tropical rain forest in t h e w o r l d . It
drains o n e fifth of all t h e world's fresh w a t e r i n t o t h e sea. N o -

m
%
HI

w h e r e else is t h e r e so m u c h life p e r square mile. Fifty t h o u s a n d

CHAPTER

EIGHT

species of p l a n t s and fungi, o n e fifth of t h e w o r l d ' s birds, t h r e e

t h o u s a n d species offish ( t e n t i m e s as m a n y as in all t h e E u r o p e a n
rivers p u t t o g e t h e r ) , a n d millions of species of insects s h a r e its

Hi

t a n g l e d layers. T h e largest s n a k e in t h e w o r l d , t h e a n a c o n d a , a n d

t h e largest beetle, t h e dynastes, dwell h e r e a l o n g w i t h o t h e r giants. F r o m its richness, w e have e x t r a c t e d cacao (for chocolate),
rubber, q u i n i n e , Brazil n u t s , chicle (for c h e w i n g g u m ) , a n d a n

~A\

o f

array of h e a r t medicines a n d anticancer d r u g s . B u t tropical rain

forests are being destroyed at a b o u t 95,000 square miles p e r year;

m
0

unless s o m e t h i n g is d o n e , it will all vanish in t h e n e x t forty years.

T h a t w o u l d be a tragedy o n m a n y levels, n o t least because of o u r

'm
To have no consciousness of being, like a stone, like a

n e e d for deep play, sensory pleasure, a n d a n orderly life. W h a t

plant; to no longer recall even one's own name; to

b e t t e r place t o find all t h r e e t h a n i n t h e m a n s i o n s of n a t u r e ?

live for the purpose of living without knowing about

it, like the animals, like the plants, no longer with
m

feelings or desires or memories or thoughts, no

longer with anything that give sense or value to

t
v.

one's life. There, stretched out on the grass with his

hands behind his neck, watching the clouds in the

At

blue sky, dazzling white clouds, puffed up with sun,

listening to the wind making a noise like the sea in

fm

the grove of chestnut trees, and hearing in the voice

of the wind and noise, as from a great distance, the
vanity of all things . . .

ih

Pirandello, "Sing the Epistle" (1911)

m
HK
to

Nature loves to hide. It rests by changing.

Heraclitus

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trie scooter, climbed aboard, and crept o u t i n t o t h e sunlight and

a m o n g t h e birds and trees for an h o u r or so each day. I also h a d
V Vhen

s u m m e r blows t h r o u g h t h e willows, I love to r a m b l e in

an o p e n field near m y house, w h e r e Q u e e n A n n e ' s lace

flutters

like doilies beside p u r p l e coneflowers. A l t h o u g h I've never h a r -

friends drive m e o u t i n t o t h e c o u n t r y . Those doses of sunlight

and wildlife w e r e m y salvation. Even a small park or yard can be
wilderness e n o u g h .

vested t h e carrotlike roots of Q u e e n A n n e ' s lace, I have t a k e n

For t h e m o s t part, w h e n w e go t o psychologists, w e d o n ' t dis-

essence of coneflower {Echinacea) as a tonic to keep colds at bay.

cuss h o w divorced We feel from n a t u r e , h o w destructive t h a t can

M a n y people practice s u c h h o m e o p a t h y s w a l l o w i n g m i n u t e

be, or t h e tonic value of reacquainting ourselves w i t h n a t u r e ' s

a m o u n t s of herbs as curatives for an a s s o r t m e n t of illsand in a

c h a r m s , t h e c h a r m s w e fell in love w i t h w h e n w e w e r e children,

sense that's w h a t m o s t of us do, psychologically, w h e n we go o u t

w h e n n a t u r e was a k i n g d o m of w o n d e r , play, self-discovery, and

into n a t u r e . We d r i n k briefly from its miracle waters. We i n o c u -

freedom. A special loneliness comes from exiling ourselves from

late ourselves against t h e aridity of a routine, w o r k a d a y life.

n a t u r e . B u t even m y saying t h a t will strike m a n y people as a ro-

W h e n we spend m o s t of o u r lives indoors, w h a t becomes of

m a n t i c affectation. After all, w e are civilized now, w e d o n ' t play

o u r o w n wilderness? Safe and d r y in o u r h o m e s , clean a n d well-

by n a t u r e ' s rules a n y m o r e , w e control o u r o w n destiny, w e d o n ' t

lit, at arm's l e n g t h from t h e weedy chaos outside, n o l o n g e r prey

n e e d n a t u r e , right? T h a t a t t i t u d e is so deeply ingrained in o u r

t o w e a t h e r and wild, w e can lose o u r i n n e r compass. Nearly t h r e e

c u l t u r e t h a t m o s t people take it for granted, assume it's a given,

years ago, for instance, w h e n m y b r o k e n foot left m e seriously

and d o n ' t w o r r y a b o u t n a t u r e w h e n t h e y consider i m p r o v i n g t h e

disabled for t w o years, I felt lost. For an active person, being so

i m p o r t a n t relationships in their lives. It's a tragic oversight, b u t I

helpless and limited is a n i g h t m a r e . B u t t h e hardest t h i n g a b o u t

can u n d e r s t a n d w h y t h a t a t t i t u d e is so appealing. N a t u r e is c r u d e

t h a t injury was h o w it separated m e from n a t u r e , w h o s e green

and erotic, chaotic and profuse, r a m p a n t and zealous, b r u t a l and

a n t h e m stirs m e , whose m o o d s fascinate m e , w h o s e rocks and

violent, uncontrollable despite o u r best efforts, and completely

birds help define m y sense of belonging, w h o s e mysteries provide

uninhibited. Small w o n d e r t h e n a t u r a l w o r l d terrifies m a n y peo-

m e w i t h rich m o m e n t s of deep play. Even if I ' m feeling low, I can

ple a n d also embarrasses t h e p r i m p u r i t a n s a m o n g us. But m o s t

always find solace in n a t u r e , a restorative w h e n dealing w i t h pain.

people find n a t u r e restorative, cleansing, n o u r i s h i n g in a deeply

Wonder heals t h r o u g h an a l c h e m y of m i n d . But, exiled from

personal way. To have peak experiences, mystics, prophets, and

paradise, w h e r e could I turn? Once k n i t t e d i n t o n a t u r e , I felt m y -

naturalists have traveled into t h e wilderness.

self slowly unraveling. Standing u p r i g h t m a y be o u r h a l l m a r k

Wild is w h a t w e call it, a w o r d tottering between fear and

and a t o w e r i n g success, b u t s o m e t i m e s bone, joint, and spine

praise. Wild ideas are alluring, impulsive, unpredictable, ideas w i t h

can't live u p to t h e challenge and act subversively. A h o u s e of

wings and hooves. Being w i t h wild a n i m a l s w h e t h e r they're

bones, t h e Elizabethans called t h e body. Imprisoned by m y need

squirrels in t h e backyard, or heavily antlered elk in Yellowstone

to heal, I craved t h e o u t d o o r s . To heal I n e e d e d t o rest, lie low,

r e m i n d s us of o u r o w n wildness, thrills t h e a n i m a l p a r t of us t h a t

shelve things, restrict myself, be willing t o sacrifice pleasure for

loves t h e feel of s u n l i g h t and t h e succulence of fresh water, is

recovery. B u t I only m a n a g e d it w i t h grace w h e n I r e n t e d an elec-

alert t o d a n g e r and s o o t h e d by t h e familiar sounds of family and

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herd. It's sad we d o n ' t respect t h e struggles and talents of o t h e r

h o m e . Most of t h e time, w e forget t h a t simple t r u t h , and even

animals, b u t I ' m m o r e c o n c e r n e d a b o u t t h e price w e pay for t h a t

p r e t e n d w e could live outside of n a t u r e , t h a t n a t u r e doesn't in-

haughtiness. We've evolved to live tribally in a k i n g d o m of neigh-

clude us.

bors, h u m a n neighbors and a n i m a l neighbors.

We really are terribly confused a b o u t o u r relationship w i t h

W h e n I ' m in a rain forest I caress it w i t h all m y senses, and a m

n a t u r e . O n t h e o n e h a n d , we like t o live in houses t h a t are tidy

grateful for t h e privilege, b u t I also love t e m p e r a t e forests, scrub-

a n d clean, and if n a t u r e s h o u l d be r u d e e n o u g h to e n t e r i n t h e

lands, lake shores, glaciers, even city parks. O n e doesn't have to

form of a bat in t h e attic, or a m o u s e in t h e kitchen, or a cock-

leave h o m e to e n c o u n t e r t h e exotic. O u r h u m a n habitat e n c o m -

roach crawling along t h e skirting b o a r d s w e stalk it w i t h t h e

passes rolling veldts and m o w n lawns, r e m o t e deserts and t h e

blood-lust of a tabby cat; w e resort t o chemical warfare. We d o n ' t

greater wilderness of cities-^all " n a t u r a l " ecosystems. M a n y ani-

even like d u s t a r o u n d us. In fact, w e judge people harshly if their

mals inhabit t h e small p a t c h of w o o d s in m y backyard, for e x a m -

h o u s e is full of d u s t and dirt. A n d yet, o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , w e just

ple, from deer, raccoons, skunks, wild turkeys, garter snakes, and

as obsessively bring n a t u r e indoors. We t o u c h a switch and light

o t h e r large fauna d o w n to spiders, m o t h s , and s w a r m i n g insects.

floods t h e r o o m . We t u r n a dial and s u d d e n l y it feels like s u m m e r

T h e animals all seem busy, feeding themselves and their families,

or winter. We live in a p e r p e t u a l breeze or bake of o u r devising.

r u n n i n g o n e u r g e n t e r r a n d or a n o t h e r . Their behaviors r e m i n d

We b u y posters and calendars w i t h p h o t o g r a p h s of n a t u r e . We

us of o u r o w n , their t r i u m p h s teach us a b o u t t h e i n d o m i t a b l e -

h a n g paintings of landscapes o n o u r walls. We scent everything

ness of life. We're lucky to be alive at a t i m e w h e n whales still

t h a t t o u c h e s o u r lives. We fill o u r houses w i t h flowers and pets.

swim in t h e oceans, and hawks fly t h r o u g h t h e skies. O n e day,

We try h a r d to r e m o v e ourselves from all t h e d r a m a s and sensa-

t h r o u g h o u r negligence, t h e y m a y be gone.

tions of n a t u r e , and yet w i t h o u t t h e m w e feel lost and discon-

T h e r e are noble reasons for p r o t e c t i n g t h e e n v i r o n m e n t

nected. So, subconsciously, we bring t h e m right back indoors

o n e m i g h t argue t h a t it's o u r m o r a l duty, as good citizens of t h e

again. T h e n w e obsessively visit n a t u r e w e go s w i m m i n g , jog-

planet, n o t to destroy its n a t u r a l wonders. T h e r e are also m e r c e -

ging, or cross-country skiing, w e take strolls in a park. Confusing,

n a r y r e a s o n s ^ t h e vanishing rain forests contain p h a r m a c e u t i -

isn't it?

cals w e m i g h t need; t h e Antarctic holds a vast store of fresh

S o m e t i m e s it's hard for us collectors of s u c h rarities as paint-

drinking water; thick forests e n s u r e t h a t we'll have oxygen t o

ings, b u t t o n s , china, or fossils to u n d e r s t a n d t h a t we ourselves

breathe. B u t a n o t h e r reason is older and less tangible, a m a t t e r

are rare. We are u n i q u e life-forms, n o t because of o u r n u m b e r s ,

of ecopsychology. We need a healthy, thriving, bustling n a t u r a l

b u t because o f t h e unlikeliness of o u r being here at all, t h e pace

world so t h a t we can be healthy, so t h a t we can feel whole. O u r

of o u r evolution, o u r powerful grip o n t h e w h o l e planet, and

w o r d "whole" comes from t h e s a m e ancient r o o t as "holy." It was

t h e precariousness of o u r future. We are evolutionary whiz kids

o n e of t h e first concepts t h a t h u m a n beings needed to express,

w h o are better able t o t r a n s f o r m t h e world t h a n to u n d e r s t a n d

and it m e a n t t h e h e a l t h y interrelatedness of all things. " M o t h e r

it. O t h e r animals c a n n o t evolve fast e n o u g h to cope w i t h us. If

Earth," w e often call t h e planet. If E a r t h -is o u r m o t h e r , t h e n w e

w e destroy their future, w e m a y lose o u r o w n . B u t because

have m a n y siblings a m o n g t h e o t h e r animals, m a n y r o o m s in o u r

vast herds of h u m a n s dwell o n t h e planet, w e assume w e are

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invulnerable. Because o u r c u n n i n g has allowed us t o harness

m u s c l e a n d p o w e r . That's a state I've s o m e t i m e s reached riding

great rivers, and fly t h r o u g h t h e sky, and even add o u r artifacts to

horseback, b u t n o t w i t h m a c h i n e r y , n o t flying planes or driv-

t h e s u m of creation, w e a s s u m e we are o m n i p o t e n t . Because w e

ing cars or even riding m y o t h e r bike. W h e n I c o m p l a i n about

have invented an arbitrary w a y t o frame t h e doings of n a t u r e ,

t h e lack of n u m b e r s t o Cathy, s h e says: "Aren't y o u t h e o n e w h o

w h i c h we call "time," w e a s s u m e o u r species will last forever. B u t

said you d o n ' t calibrate fun?" A reference to m y being a pleasure

t h a t m a y n o t be t r u e .

biker, n o t a record-setter, mile-counter, speed-demon, or techno-

Off and o n over t h e past few years, I've been w o r k i n g w i t h

dandy. B u t w e have biked m a n y h u n d r e d s of miles over t h e past

e n d a n g e r e d animals and ecosystems, w h i c h has kindled precious

year, explored ravishing countrysides and i n n e r landscapes as

m o m e n t s of deep play. But, as p a r t of t h e species responsible for

well, circumnavigated a few lakes, and g r o w n in s t r e n g t h and

their downfall, I also feel a n u r g e n t n e e d t o witness a n d celebrate

h e a r t as a result. Few sports allow y o u t o dawdle at speed while

t h e m before t h e y vanish. T h e r e are l i t t l e - k n o w n species alive

you savor and explore t h e world; t h u s biking has b e c o m e an i m -

a m o n g us right now, w h i c h have lived o n t h e p l a n e t for millions

p o r t a n t axis for m y life.

of years longer t h a n w e have, b u t will perish w i t h o u t o u r noticing, w i t h o u t o u r chronicling their ways and "habits. I find t h a t
t h o u g h t unbearable.
A l t h o u g h I've h a d t h e privilege of traveling t h e w o r l d t o behold s o m e fascinating animals and landscapes, o n e n e e d n ' t go t o
t h e ends of t h e e a r t h to find an a b u n d a n c e of life, or to feel c o n nected t o n a t u r e t h r o u g h deep play. I felt r a p t u r e recently while
riding a bike along a c o u n t r y road just as a red-tailed h a w k flew
very low overhead, s h o w i n g m e t h e b r o w n - a n d - w h i t e speckled
b l o o m e r s of its legs and a b r i g h t red tail, t h r o u g h w h i c h t h e s u n
s h o n e as t h r o u g h stained glass. I often find deep play along c o u n try roads, while perched o n t h e pedestal of a bicycle. M a k i n g a
s h o r t pilgrimage by car t o a n unfamiliar t o w n t o bike adds just
t h e right t i n c t u r e of novelty.

W h a t m a n n e r of being is this? I w o n d e r , as I lift t h e g l e a m i n g

m o u n t a i n bike from t h e car rack. It feels light as bird bones. Alla l u m i n u m , it flashes like a supernova, and it has n o n u m b e r s o n
t h e gearshifts. At this level of e n l i g h t e n m e n t , you're supposed t o
b e c o m e o n e with t h e bike, i n t u i t i n g gears in a Zenlike t r a n c e of

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Pure dazzle, this bike is all about light. S u n l i g h t cascades off

its flanks. Its m i r r o r s reflect t h e passing world. Soon w e cross a

DEEP

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roads. I've never felt so well-grounded: t h e brakes are s u d d e n and

clawlike.

w o o d e n bridge o n t o a r o u g h , swamp-lined road, and quickly de-

With n o n u m b e r guides, I have to shift aggressively, rocking

t o u r into dense fields of goldenrod, wild aster, and tall quaking

gears i n t o place, b u t n o m a t t e r . I played violin in j u n i o r high

aspens w h o s e leaves flicker like a t h o u s a n d silver dollars. A sweet

s c h o o l a n o t h e r fretless i n t r u m e n t . Be bold, guess fast, and fi-

smell of fresh d u n g mixes w i t h t h e scent of apples and moss. A

nesse t h e rest. W h e n we pause to rest, there's n o kickstand for

wonderful m i n i - n a t u r e preserve, this rail trail leads t h r o u g h

this fellow. Leaning against a tree, casual-like, all flash and dash,

farmlands and along waterways. It's o n e of 700 rail trails g r o o m e d

it's o n e cool h o m b r e .

by enthusiasts all across t h e country. Local environmentalists

At last we c o m e t o t h e steep u n m a r k e d road we've been

rip u p abandoned railways and flatten t h e beds, adding c r u s h e d

looking for. I can bike a b o u t t w o - t h i r d s o f t h e way u p before get-

stone or m a c a d a m so t h a t hikers, bikers, and joggers can use p r o -

ting off to p u s h . C a t h y n o t only bikes all t h e way, she actually

tected u r b a n trails as a way o u t into t h e countryside. I've ridden

coasts back d o w n t o join m e and bikes u p t h e last q u a r t e r all over

o n a few, b u t a recent favorite is a long sinuous trail t h a t skirts

again! Her idea of play can be energetic and r o m p y w e love to

Gambier, Ohio. Early o n e fall m o r n i n g I followed t h a t trail, while

b a n t e r and play w o r d games as w e b i k e a n d w e b o t h like ex-

steam rose from t h e lowland m a r s h e s and dewdrops p e r c h e d

p l o r a t o r y play, even if it's only m o u s i n g a r o u n d t h e back streets

p n tall blades of grass became small prisms in t h e abracadabra

of a village w e haven't visited before. But, as.I m e n t i o n e d earlier,

light of sunrise. T h e trail w e n t by historic sites and sprawling

C a t h y relishes ordeal and likes to play at p u s h i n g her body's lim-

farms. As I pedaled past o n e barnyard and m a i n house, I heard a

its. This is w h y I've never joined h e r in her a n n u a l A u g u s t swim

strange h o n k i n g c o m m o t i o n behind m e and t u r n e d m y head t o

across Lake Cayuga. It takes over an h o u r , and t h e glacier-carved

see a large flock of geese r u n n i n g after m e and squawking like

lake stays bone-chillingly cold all s u m m e r . N o r does she wear a

m a d . Attack geese! I said o u t loud, laughing, and pedaled away from

w e t suit. T h a t w o u l d n ' t be sporting. She does swim w i t h a few

J:heir toothless clamor. I guess t h e y w e r e used to being fed each

friends, t h o u g h , and I ' m sure pausing midlake to tread water and

clay by t h e first h u m a n t h e y saw, and o n t h a t m o r n i n g I was it,

l a u g h t o g e t h e r buoys their spirits. Ending u p cold and exhausted

bike and all.

b u t t r i u m p h a n t , w i t h a pack of friends in t h e same fix, is t h e p o i n t

W h e n a r o u g h trail beckons, I angle hard t h r o u g h grass,

m u d , and brambles. I love leaving t h e straight and n a r r o w and

o f t h e g a m e . I d o n ' t t h i n k I'd bike back d o w n a steep hill to bike

back u p it. B u t heaven k n o w s I have m y o w n quirky games.

hightailing it overland. O n m y o t h e r bike, a hybrid, I ' m cautious,

Anyway, I w a n t to stay o n m y bike as m u c h as possible, be-

avoiding rocks, oil slicks, and ditches. B u t o n a m o u n t a i n bike I

cause m y foot still h u r t s w h e n I walk, especially at a steep angle.

head straight for trouble, pedaling t h r o u g h dips, gravel, splash,

At last w e reach t h e hilltop and are rewarded w i t h a p a n o r a m i c

and u n d e r g r o w t h w i t h abandon. Halfway u p a staggering incline,

view o f t h e m o u n t a i n s o n either side o f t h e lake, H a m m o n d s p o r t

I shift into a l o w d o w n creep-the-steep gear t h a t m a k e s t h e uphill

at t h e end, and t w o a r m s of w a t e r stretching a r o u n d us far below.

just manageable. Easy uphill travelisn't t h a t w h a t w e all crave

A j a m b o r e e of colorful boats speckles its west shore. For a few

in biking and long for in life? That, and security o n t h e r o u g h

m o m e n t s w e sit and w a t c h t h e m lining u p like c h r o m o s o m e s . A

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g u n s h o t signals t h e start of a regatta, and t h e sailboats l u n g e for-

t u r n of t h e century, t h e r e were 2,000 brands of bikes. But cars

ward, m a n e u v e r i n g across t h e lake a mile or so below us. I love

soon t o o k over as t h e dangerously a d u l t form of t r a n s p o r t , and

t h e secret l o o k o u t points and all t h e nooks and crannies of t h e

bikes w e r e relegated t o t h e status of children's toys. W h e n those

world t h a t b e c o m e accessible w h e n y o u ride a bike. M a n y o t h e r s

children grew u p , t h e y k e p t their taste for biking, w h i c h trig-

before m e have t u r n e d to two-wheelers as ideal c o m p a n i o n s for

gered m e m o r i e s of i n n o c e n c e and provided a special kind of exu-

deep play.

b e r a n t freedom. Today bicycles are a $3.5 billion business, and a

At first, it wasn't t h e a u t o m o b i l e t h a t replaced t h e horse, b u t

p o p u l a r form of a d u l t play.

t h e bicycle. In t h e 1890s, w h e n t h e cycling craze swept t h e nation,

B u t t h e y can also be revolutionary. Bicycling b r o u g h t about

h u n d r e d s of t h o u s a n d s of horses n o longer w e r e needed. Adver-

social changes t h a t , for centuries, h a d resisted a r g u m e n t and rea-

tisements showed bicycles in t h e h a n d s of c o m m u t e r s , school-

son. In Victorian society, w o m e n w e r e obliged to wear tight

teachers, c o u r t i n g couples, athletes, circus performers, famous

corsets t o accentuate their curves, even t h o u g h s u c h outfits de-

actresses, vacationers, and even Greek gods. Bikes w e r e refined

formed t h e rib cage, limited action, and caused m a n y w o m e n to

and all t h e rage; bells and rubber tires w e r e added. T h e y reflected

faint because t h e y c o u l d n ' t take deep breaths. "Loose" w o m e n

t h e trends of t h e day. For instance, t h e safety bike included n e t -

w e r e t h e ones w h o refused t o wear corsets, while "tight-laced"

ting to keep long skirts o u t of t h e spokes. A p o p u l a r song of t h e

w o m e n abided by t h e m o r a l code. High-heeled shoes, weighted

era, "Daisy Bell," celebrated t h e r o m a n c e of t a n d e m biking: in

skirts, and o t h e r restrictive fashions c o m b i n e d t o m a k e it nearly

o n e of its verses t h e swain tells his beloved: "But you'll look sweet

impossible for w o m e n to exercise. T h e y w e r e imprisoned in silks.

u p o n t h e seat of a bicycle built for two!" People delighted in in-

T h e Rational Dress Society, a British suffragette organization

venting novel ways to use bicycles for leisure and business. In

using t h e bicycle as its symbol, arose in 1888 to protest t h e de-

M a n h a t t a n , aristocrats formed t h e M i c h a u x Cycle Club, an ex-

f o r m i n g fashions o f t h e day. T h e society d e m a n d e d t h a t w o m e n ' s

clusive cycling academy o n u p p e r Broadway, w h e r e o n e could

u n d e r g a r m e n t s weigh n o m o r e t h a n seven p o u n d s , and pointed

take lessons, ride indoors in w i n t e r ( a c c o m p a n i e d by an orches-

o u t t h a t , whereas it was t r u e t h a t w o m e n tended to tire quickly

tra), and participate in s u c h club events as bicycle rodeos, bicycle

w h e n t h e y walked, it wasn't because t h e y w e r e constitutionally

jousting matches, and Virginia Reel bicycle dances. "Play," M a r t i n

weak creatures, b u t because t h e y were forced to carry heavy

Buber writes, "is t h e exultation of t h e possible." This p a t t e r n of

weights and wear straitjackets. Comfortably dressed w o m e n were

challenge, striving, fulfillment, boredom, greater challenge, greater

seen as dangerous and potentially lewd. M a n y of t h e m were t u r n e d

striving, has inspired extraordinary physical feats and leaps of

away from p o s h restaurants and hotels. B u t in t i m e b l o o m e r s

imagination, driven us to discover o u r limits, and contributed

(and later "pedal p u s h e r s " ) b e c a m e all t h e rage as cycling gear.

i m m e a s u r a b l y to o u r success as a species. It's why, w h e n asked

T h a t allowed w o m e n independence, physical mobility, freedom

h o w long it took h i m to create a painting, Picasso answered: "All

of action, a n d o p p o r t u n i t y to socialize. In an era w h e n politics,

m y life."

business, a n d e d u c a t i o n w e r e forbidden t o w o m e n , w h o still h a d

So, at o n e t i m e anyway, bikes w e r e fascinations o f t h e a g e

t o ride horses sidesaddle ( r a t h e r t h a n have a n y t h i n g u n s e e m l y

t h e first personal t r a n s p o r t a t i o n device since t h e horse. By t h e

b e t w e e n their legs), b l o o m e r s were considered scandalous and

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politically daring. Riding w i t h o u t a suitable c h a p e r o n was also

The performance of the most informal tea calls for the fol-

t h o u g h t i m m o r a l , b u t nonetheless w o m e n cyclists g a t h e r e d at

lowing equipment: a ceramic tea bowl, a bamboo tea scoop, a

hotels and inns to take bike rides together, and t h u s t h e first cy-

bamboo whisk, a small linen cloth about 5 by 12 inches, a silk

cling clubs w e r e b o r n . As J o h n G a l s w o r t h y correctly observed in

cloth about 18 inches square, a tea container with about two

The Forsyte Saga:

ounces of green powdered tea (macha), a round tray about 18

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inches in diameter, a waste water bowl, a plate with some

Under the bicycle's influence, wholly or in part, have wilted

sweets, an iron teapot, and a small stove. The stove can be a

chaperones, long and narrow skirts, tight corsets, hair that

traditional Japanese charcoal stove, or it could even be an

would come down, black stockings, thick ankles, large hats,

electric hot plate. . . .

prudery and fear ofthe dark; under its influence, wholly or in

[The guests] listen to the sound of the boiling water in

part, have bloomed weekends, strong nerves, strong legs,

the tea kettle. . . . This sound has a soothing effect. The host

strong language, knickers, knowledge of make and shape,

appears at the doorway, bows, and starts bringing things into

knowledge of woods and pastures, equality of sex, good diges-

the room. First the plate of sweets is presented to the guests.

tion and professional occupationin four words, the eman-

Then the tray with the tea equipment is brought in, followed

cipation of women.

by the waste water bowl. The host sits before the stove and
kettle and ritually wipes the tea container and tea scoop with

F r e e d o m of m o v e m e n t led to freedom of t h o u g h t , a n d s o m e

the silk cloth, then cleans the bowl and whisk with the hot

of history's first w o m e n cyclists b e c a m e political activists w h o

water. The guests are invited to eat the sweets as the host be-

d e m a n d e d equality a n d t h e r i g h t t o vote. W o m e n of today are

gins to p u t the tea into the bowl. After the host pours hot

indebted to t h e bicycle for m a n y of t h e freedoms we take for

water over it, the tea is whisked. Finally the tea is served. Each

granted.

guest drinks with full attention, savoring the warmth and

As a m e m b e r of a c o n t e m p o r a r y cycling club w i t h a quaint

taste ofthe tea, enjoying the food, being fully present in the

n a m e t h e WOMBATS (Women's M o u n t a i n Bike & Tea Soci-

peaceful atmosphere created. When the guests are finished

e t y ) I relish t h e preparations for a bike ride. Most WOMBATS

eating and drinking, the utensils are cleaned and taken out of

pack a tea service, and after a hearty stretch of dirt biking, stop for

the room. A final bow by all brings the event to an end.

a refined c u p of tea. W h a t do biking and a tea c e r e m o n y have in

c o m m o n ? Both involve graceful m o t i o n s , ritual, and c o m m u -

"Being fully p r e s e n t in t h e peaceful a t m o s p h e r e created" is t h e

n i o n w i t h others. B o t h focus t h e m i n d o n t h e senses and away

u n s t a t e d goal of m u c h deep play. C a t h y and I leave t h e tea service

from t h e worries of t h e world. B o t h appear simple, b u t contain

at h o m e w h e n we set o u t o n bike trips, b u t w e d o pack iced tea

elaborate elements and m a y take years t o master. Both have as

and s u c h g o u r m e t treats as gingered pear c o m p o t e , mozzarella

their goal a feeling of tranquility. A recent issue of t h e Wom-

and t o m a t o w i t h basil, angel food cake in a strawberry coulis,

bats News includes this description of a Japanese tea ceremony, by

p e n n e pasta w i t h feta cheese and spinach, and h o m e m a d e cook-

B r o t h e r Joseph Keenan of LaSalle University:

ies. N o t only d o w e p r e p a r e an elaborate b u t portable picnic, we

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check and recheck t h e weather, pack and repack extra clothes,

circled r o u n d and tried again, tacking in at m o r e and m o r e severe

carefully plan a scenic b u t m a n a g e a b l e r o u t e . S o m e w h e r e be-

angles. Finally I gave u p . T h e crosswind was so s t r o n g t h a t it

t w e e n daffy obsession and high spirits, play rituals can take o n a

was physically impossible to land m y small p l a n e o n t h e r u n w a y

life of their o w n . O n e of m y favorites is wind biking.

t h a t day. B u t I d i d n ' t m i n d ; it was fun discovering t h e airplane's

O n e late February C a t h y and I w e n t wind biking for t h e first

limits.

time. Because t h e air t e m p e r a t u r e was a springlike fifty-five de-

Years later, wind biking d o w n this s u n n y road while wres-

grees, we decided t o bike c o m e w h a t may, and w h a t c a m e was a

tling w i t h unpredictable and invisible forces, I tried t h e pilot's

gale, gusting from t h e s o u t h at t w e n t y to t h i r t y miles per h o u r ,

trick of speeding u p . After all, a bike is also a winglike form travel-

w i t h rapid changes in direction. T h e w i n d was blowing so h a r d

ing t h r o u g h t h e air. Just as y o u lose c o n t r o l of an airplane at slow

it had k n o c k e d over t h e cast-iron chairs o n t h e patio! Laughing

speeds, t h e slower y o u go o n a bike t h e wobblier it gets. B u t it

and joking, w e w e n t t h r o u g h o u r usual pre-bike-ride r i t u a l s

didn't work. In fact, slowing d o w n felt better, gave m e m o r e m a -

p r e p a r i n g a picnic and checking t h e air in t h e t i r e s b u n d l e d u p

n e u v e r i n g time, and t h e chance t o j u m p off if m y center of

in anoraks and set off for an a d v e n t u r e . With t h e wind at o u r

gravity t u m b l e d . B u t t h a t never h a p p e n e d . We just called o u t

backs, w e whooshed along at a dizzying, yachtlike clip. O u r wheels

joyfully from t i m e t o time, or w h o o p e d a n d hollered w h e n t h e

s p u n even w h e n w e w e r e n ' t pedaling. It felt like riding t h e jet

rollercoaster ride l u r c h e d suddenly. We didn't k n o w from m o -

stream. B u t t h e m o m e n t t h e road curved, all t h e addled winds of

m e n t t o m o m e n t if t h e wind w o u l d l u n g e fast from behind, heave

t h e world seemed t o swivel a r o u n d us, t h r a s h i n g , shoving and

from in front, or pitch us sideways. Sometimes, in microbursts,

yielding, t h r u s t i n g and yanking, t h e n w i t h o u t w a r n i n g briskly

all t h r e e h a p p e n e d w i t h i n t h e space of a few seconds. W h a t a

c h a n g i n g direction. Gripping t h e handlebars hard, w e improvised

b r o n c o ride! A r e s o u n d i n g w o r k o u t , too. We loved it. T h e last leg

as best w e could, and had t o lean deep into t h e wind, biking at an

h o m e stretched for a mile d o w n a steep h i l l b u t straight into

angle to travel forward.

t h e full slam of t h e wind. Pedaling hard, we just m a n a g e d to

It was like flying an airplane t h r o u g h s t r o n g wind shear.

creep forward in first gear. While t h e wind whistled t h r o u g h t h e

M i n i m u m flight speed in squirrelly air is faster t h a n usual, so t h a t

air vents in o u r helmets, w e s h o o k o u r heads in a m a z e m e n t and

w h e n t h e floor falls o u t after a t o w e r i n g gust y o u w o n ' t be as

laughed.

likely to stall. Also, a pilot has m o r e control over t h e p l a n e at

T h a t was t h e first t i m e I wind biked. N o w riding t h e aerial

higher speeds. I r e m e m b e r o n e h o t and fast landing w h e n I al-

surf is a favorite sport. Wind cycles d o exist for those w h o wish their

m o s t t h r e w t h e airplane o n t o t h e r u n w a y . Hardly a t e c h n i q u e

bicycle h a d wings. Popular o n beaches, t h e wind cycle has a m a s t

"chop, stop, and drop," was w h a t w e called i t i t was soon

and sail, and in a stiff breeze its rear wheel s o m e t i m e s lifts off t h e

followed by t h e mess of taxiing across t h e airport in h i g h winds.

g r o u n d . A n intrepid N e w Age traveler once used o n e t o cycle-sail

O n a n o t h e r occasion, flying a r o u n d Ohio, I h a d decided to land at

across t h e Sahara desert. Forget t h e camels or horses or jeeps or

a c o u n t r y airport only to discover o n t h e final approach t h a t m y

Land Rovers. For serious play in wildest n a t u r e , straddle a bike.

little Cessna was o u t m u s c l e d by a high crosswind t h a t k e p t blowing m e away from t h e r u n w a y . T h r e e times I missed approaches,

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Playing in n a t u r e rejuvenates t h e spirit while d e e p e n i n g insight.

song representing it. On a certain occasion when the singers

O n e can learn there, as Heraclitus did, t h a t "conflict is c o m m o n

were practicing new songs in the woods, the song-maker

to all, and strife is justice, and t h a t all things c o m e into being and

lacked one to complete the number, and he asked the others

pass away t h r o u g h strife." O n e can achieve a stance t h a t m i n i -

if they had a song. The other composers present said they had

mizes t h e finite self in t h e vast sprawl o f t h e universe, and identi-

none. One of them looked across at a visiting woman song-

fies w i t h u n s e e n forces s u p r e m e in p o w e r and reality, exalted and

maker and said to the presiding song-maker, "I will ask her."

mysterious, yet completely n o n r a t i o n a l . As m a n y artists have

She heard the phrase, caught the inflection of the rising and

found, n a t u r e is an ideal place for creative play. A m o n g t h e

falling syllables, and began to sing hamamama. As the sound left

Kwakiutl Indians, a s o n g - m a k e r (also k n o w n as "a m a n of u n d e r -

her lips, those on the opposite side ofthe circle heard it and at

standing") and a "word-passer" c o m p o s e music in t h e woods.

once began to hum, and together they composed the neces-

S o m e t i m e s a novice musician ( k n o w n as "sitting-close-beside-

sary song. This manner of catching a melody is called "scoop-

t h e - h e a d " ) joins t h e m . Here is a typical a c c o u n t of an i m p r o -

ing it up in the hands."

171

visatory s o n g - m a k i n g circle in t h e woods, w h i c h a Kwakiutl

Indian told an ethnologist in 1915:

Karl v o n Frisch, t h e zoologist, once described his study of t h e

honeybee (which h e adored) as a magic well t h a t replenished it-

The song-maker draws inspiration chiefly from the sounds of

self endlessly. T h e same is t r u e of any facet of n a t u r e . However

running or dropping water, and from the notes of birds. Sit-

m u c h w a t e r you d r a w from it, you always find m o r e waiting for

ting beside a rill of falling water, he listens intently, catches

you. Lose yourself in its miracle waters, and t i m e will s h i m m y ,

the music, and hums it to himself, using not words but the

t h e w o r l d recede, a n d a sense of h a r m o n y e n t e r y o u r bones. It is

vocables hamamama. This is his theme. Then he carries the

spring in N o r t h America. T h e well of n a t u r e is full today. T i m e to

theme further, making variations, and at last he adds a finale

go outside and take a drink.

which he calls the "tail." After a while he goes to the wordpasser, constantly h u m m i n g the tune, and the word-passer,
catching the air, joins in, and then sets a single word to it.
This is called "tying the song," so that it may not "drift away"
like an unmoored canoe. Then gradually other words are
added, until the song is complete. The novice sits a little apart
from the master, and if he "finds" a melody, he "carries" it at
once to the song-maker, who quickly catches the theme and
proceeds to develop it. Many songs are obtained from the
robin, some from the waterfowl which whistles before diving,
and from other birds. An informant saw a song-maker, after
employing various themes, coil a rope and then compose a

**" ^" "^

""**"" "*- "^ ** **^**v **'*r- "p^ -***' **J*' ^ ^V- ***V- -"*>- ***%

CHAPTER

T ) e e p

NINE

In the sun that is young once only,

Time let me play and be
Golden in the mercy of his means.
Dylan Thomas, "Fern Hill"
But yield who will to their separation,
My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation
As my two eyes make one in sight.
Only where love and need are one,
And the work is play for mortal stakes,
Is the deed ever really done
For Heaven and the future's sakes.
Robert Frost, "Two Tramps
in Mud Time"

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eye level, flashing brilliant yellow and o r a n g e streaks. Wild blueberry bushes are in flower, covered w i t h tiny w h i t e bellsi I've
JLJeep

play unfolds in a magical space beyond t h e confines

b r o u g h t m y o w n colors i n t o t h e preserve, as w e l l a red T-shif t

of everyday life, a space b o t h physical and imaginary. It has a

and leggings, w h i t e socks, a black-and-white hat, and a red ribbon

real place, a locale, w h e r e it happens, and t h a t place m a y be

cinching u p m y ponytail. I confess, I w o r e this outfit to play witH

h u m d r u m a chair, a hospital bed, a laboratory, a m e a d o w , t h e

birds and insects. H u m m i n g b i r d s are suckers for red, b u t m a n y

back of a horse. But it also inhabits a m e n t a l space all its o w n .

o t h e r animals respond to color cues, too. For instance, t h e vigi-

W h a t ingenious ways we've found for o u t l i n i n g t h a t spaceby

lant, e x t r e m e l y territorial m a l e m o u r n i n g cloak butterfly will

using color, for instance.

s o m e t i m e s attack if you wear t h e colors of a rival m a l e (dark and

As I enter t h e Biodiversity Preserve in West Danby, N e w York,

light) and waggle y o u r fingers.

t h e spring grasses and flowers have b e g u n to b l o o m . Because I

W h a t we m e a n by color depends on w h o m , or what, you're

have c o m e for deep play, I o p e n m y m i n d t o all sensations, and

talking to. O u r color sense includes violet, blue, green, yellow, or-

n a r r o w m y t h o u g h t s t o t h e idea of color. A m a l e redwing black-

ange, and red rays o f l i g h t . Beyond those lie o t h e r to-us-invisible

bird dives sharply and lands o n a cattail at t h e edge of a p o n d ,

rays. Beyond red lies infrared, a h o t ray. Beyond violet lies u l t r a -

displaying his crimson epaulets to frighten off o t h e r males. M e a n -

violet, w h i c h w e m a i n l y k n o w by t h e b u r n s it can leave o n skin.

while, an iridescent dragonfly b a r n s t o r m s t h e shore, d a r t i n g back

Limited to w h a t w e r a t h e r chauvinistically call t h e "visible spec-

and forth like a World War I biplane patrolling its terrain. W h e n

t r u m , " we see a u n i q u e world o t h e r animals miss. O n t h e o t h e r

a n o t h e r m a l e arrives, t h e first z o o m s at t h e i n t r u d e r . I follow a

h a n d , w e d o n ' t see t h e world t h a t insects and o t h e r animals see;

p l u n k i n g - o n - a - b a n j o s o u n d t o t w o large alligatorlike eyes peek-

Little is as it seems. To m y eyes, this m e a d o w is thick with tall

ing above t h e water, w h e r e a green frog floats, a r m s o u t s t r e t c h e d .

grasses and s t u d d e d w i t h intensely colored wildflowers: p u r p l e

High above it, a tree swallow flashes a s h i m m e r y blue-green back

g e r a n i u m s , cascading white foamflowers, t a w n y three-petalea

as it swoops low over t h e water, swings u p high, swoops low

trilliums, daisy fleabane, pearly S o l o m o n ' s seal, blue Jacob's lad-

again, and seems to disappear into its reflection, w h e r e p o n d a n d

der, g o l d e n r o d . Because g o l d e n r o d and ragweed b l o o m at t h e

cloud m e e t in t h e m i r r o r l a n d of water, m e a d o w , and sky.

same time, and g o l d e n r o d is showier, people b l a m e it for sneezing

A bullfrog leaps a m o n g t h e cattails, m a k i n g small f o g h o r n

fits, b u t t h e goldenrod's color and smell offer i m p o r t a n t clues t o

blasts and smearing t h e w a t e r painting w i t h ripples. H u n d r e d s of

its ability to vex. W i n d b l o w n plants, like ragweed, can afford to be

stiff b r o w n velvety cattails have exploded into fuzzy rags t h e

drab and inconspicuous, since they're pollinated by t h e breeze.

color of sand and caramel. People have been k n o w n to use t h e m

Their spiky p o l l e n drifts all over us, scraping nose and eyes. Beau-

instead of fleece for insulation. Pulling o n e apart, I find several

tiful, accursed goldenrod, o n t h e o t h e r hand, has s u c h a strong

needle-sized t u n n e l s , and t h e n t h e t u n n e l e r s f e e d i n g caterpil-

smell and color t h a t it's clearly designed to bewitch insects. Even

lars whose web binds t h e fuzz t o g e t h e r and keeps it from blowing

t h e delicate bladder c a m p i o n s are in b l o o m : twirly w h i t e petals

away. Tweet, tweet, tweet, I am so sweet! a warbler calls as it wings past at

attached to green sacks. W h e n I was little, m y m o t h e r and I called

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t h e m snap snaps, and I w o u l d pick a flower, grip it by its petal top,

prefer lighter tones. Of course, this presupposes t h a t insects lead

m a k e a wish, and tap t h e sack sharply against m y wrist, w h i c h

colorful lives.

m a d e t h e bladder snap w i t h a loud^op!

C o n t i n u i n g along t h e trail, I pass a b u s h y a u t u m n olive tree

W h a t playful n a m e s we've given flowers. S o m e are m y t h i c .

h u m m i n g w i t h p l u m p bees. A b o u t a h u n d r e d years ago, scientists

Iris was goddess o f t h e rainbow. Hyacinth was a h a n d s o m e Greek

debated a simple question: Are w e t h e only organisms t h a t see

prince, w h o m Apollo loved and Z e p h y r u s killed in a jealous

color? O r is color i m p o r t a n t to o t h e r creatures as well? D o polli-

rage; d i s t r a u g h t Apollo t u r n e d his lover's blood into p u r p l e

n a t o r s see colors, and does this help t h e m locate flowers? If I

blossoms. S o m e flowers have descriptive n a m e s . Tulip c o m e s

looked t h r o u g h a bee's eyes, e v e r y t h i n g w o u l d slow d o w n . Since

from t h e Persian for t u r b a n - s h a p e d . S o a p w o r t p r o d u c e s a fine

bees process images five times faster t h a n h u m a n s , a movie of a

lather. M o n k s h o o d does look like a s t e m of m o n k s ' hoods,

strolling h u m a n w o u l d look like a series of still p h o t o g r a p h s . But

a l t h o u g h its Latin n a m e , pardalianches, literally m e a n s " p a n t h e r

w h a t colors d o bees see? To find out, scientists trained bees t o sip

strangle," p r e s u m a b l y because s o m e o n e t h o u g h t it poisonous

sugar solutions placed in little dishes o n pieces of yellow, blue,

e n o u g h to strangle a p a n t h e r . S o m e n a m e s h i n t at their medici-

green, and red paper. If t h e bees found a reward of h o n e y o n a

nal use, such as snakeroot, for t h e t r e a t m e n t of snakebite; or

piece of paper, t h e y w o u l d fly directly to t h a t color of paper t h e

scurvy grass, an h e r b seafarers packed t o provide vitamin C.

n e x t time. Soon scientists learned t h a t t h e y could easily train bees

B u t m o s t flower n a m e s are fanciful: love-lies-bleeding, sensitive

to seek yellow, blue, and green. W h e n t h e y tried t o train bees to

plant, baby's breath, D u t c h m a n ' s - b r e e c h e s , jack-in-the-pulpit,

seek red, t h e bees often m a d e mistakes, s o m e t i m e s landing o n

sundrops, to n a m e only a few.

black or very dark gray instead. In o t h e r words, t h e y w e r e n o t

I m a y occasionally help pollinate a p l a n t by t r a p p i n g s o m e

seeing red as a color, b u t as an intensity. Scientists concluded t h a t

b u r r s or spores o n m y pantleg and carrying t h e m t o a distant

honeybees m u s t be blind t o red. Still, their w o r l d s h i m m e r s w i t h

place. B u t insects are t h e diplomatic corps of t h e m e a d o w , and

detail and variety and at least o n e a d v e n t u r e in color that's only a

c o n n i n g t h e m can be a full-time job for a plant, t i m e well spent.

r u m o r to us. T h e y see beyond visible light. To a bee's eyes, this

We t h i n k of plants as idle, powerless. But their gift for m a n i p u l a -

m e a d o w is a bustling airport filled w i t h colorful billboards, maps,

tion w o u l d p u t advertisers, lobbyists, and warlords t o s h a m e .

carefully detailed landing strips. In m y mind's eye, I m a y imagine

Color is t h e m o s t effective tool of their trade. M a n y

s u c h Wonders, b u t I c a n n o t see t h e m . T h e bee and I share t h e

flowering

plants direct insect pollinators to their m o s t fertile blossoms by

s a m e m e a d o w b u t w e live in different universes.

changing t h e colors of individual flowers from o n e day to t h e

As t h e p a t h bends a r o u n d a large black cherry tree covered in

next, thereby allowing t h e p l a n t to have less t h a n full n e c t a r

w h i t e feather-duster blooms, I spot a lithe figure in t h e distance

reservoirs in all its flowers at t h e same time. Or t h e p l a n t broad-

wearing b r o w n pants, c r e a m shirt, and a b r o w n hat. Smiling, I

casts to specific pollinators. For example, in s u m m e r , scarlet gilia

call o u t t o h i m and h e waves hugely in reply. K n o w n as " t h e fa-

flowers blaze red to attract h u m m i n g b i r d s ; b u t in t h e fall t h e

t h e r of chemical ecology," m y friend T h o m a s Eisner studies t h e

gilia's flowers b e c o m e m o r e m u t e d t o l u r e h a w k m o t h s , w h i c h

secret life of insects, a n d I find h i m in a p a t c h of m a r s h marigolds.

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Evolution offers plenty of clues, b u t h o w could h e see its private

birds mistake t h e m for flowersor try to feed from floral clothes,

dramas? T o m perfected a special t e c h n i q u e for p h o t o g r a p h i n g

bright drapery, and even lawn furniture! Red flowers like t h e

t h e h i d d e n world of insects and flowers and their strategic use of

p o p p y are also pollinated by bees and wasps. N o t all nectar guides

color. Television cameras are quite sensitive to ultraviolet, w h i c h

are invisible t o us. S o m e birds and insects are as attracted by cer-

u l t i m a t e l y is filtered o u t by t h e screen's glass lens. T o m used a

tain colors as w e are. I r e m e m b e r seeing A m a z o n i a n orchids t h a t

quartz l e n s w h i c h admits u l t r a v i o l e t a n d t h r o u g h it h e began

used colorful blossoms to lure bees and t r a p t h e m against their

to see t h e world as insects do. T h e m a r s h marigold looks familiar

sex organs. O t h e r orchids have evolved to m i m i c t h e female

to t h e n a k e d e y e a golden medallion o n a flimsy s t e m b u t

tachinid fly, so t h a t males, trying t o m a t e , will end u p dusted

t h r o u g h t h e insect-eye lens its h i d d e n design b e c o m e s visible. To

w i t h pollen. Still o t h e r orchids m i m i c t h e territorial m o v e m e n t s

t h e honeybee, this m a r s h marigold is a p u r p l e center w i t h a

of a m a l e centris bee, a n d n e e d only wait for passing males to take

bright yellow halo and p u r p l e petal tips. What's m o r e , t h e central

u p t h e fight. Food, sex, or violence will d o equally well. W h e t h e r

landing p a d w h i c h is full of n e c t a r t h r o b s w i t h a deep shad-

plants are d r u n k from, c o u r t e d , or f o u g h t with, t h e y r u b pollen

owy glow. Like an X scrawled o n a treasure m a p , it tells passing

o n t h e visitor.

pollinators w h e r e to dig.

We m a y t h i n k of color as decorative, n o t purposeful, n o t ex-

Honeybees are p r o g r a m m e d t o recognize just s u c h n e c t a r

ploitational. B u t color is m a i n l y trickery, m u c h of it designed by

guides. W h e n m a n y varieties of flowers are in b l o o m , each species

clever plants to waylay a potential pollinator, or used by animals

of p l a n t needs to be recognizable. Everything is at stake. Unable

to scare away a p r e d a t o r , or t o c o m m u n i c a t e i m p o r t a n t (often

t o travel, a p l a n t m u s t persuade creatures to p e r f o r m sex for it

life-and-death) i n f o r m a t i o n . R a n d o m evolution has played w i t h

by carrying its pollen to o t h e r m a r s h marigolds. Squandering

t h e p h e n o m e n o n of color to an astonishing degree. B u t h u m a n s

its pollen o n u n r e l a t e d flowers w o u l d be wasteful, so o t h e r m a r s h

play w i t h color o n p u r p o s e , inventing bold and vibrant games.

marigolds need to be easy to spot. In a heavily b l o o m i n g m e a d o w ,

We t o o use color as feeding guides, to detect ripe fruit, edible

o n e m a y find as m a n y as fifty different flowers b l o o m i n g simul-

plants, and fresh game. We color m o n e y w i t h w h i c h w e b u y food.

t a n e o u s l y . H o w d o t h e insects tell t h e m apart? N e c t a r guides.

We color advertisements to sell colorful things t o m a k e colorful

Just as every s h o p has a n a m e in paint or n e o n , every flower ad-

m o n e y t o b u y n a t u r a l l y or artificially colored food. But w e also

vertises itself. Flowers go o u t of their way t o create u n i q u e sign-

play w i t h color as a sense-stimulating toy, using it for relaxation,

posts, ones t h a t will m a k e t h e m easy to spot in a crowd, alluring

b e g u i l e m e n t , gimmicks, masquerades, jokes, fraud, recreation,

and unforgettable.

a n d t h e m a n y skin games of body decoration.

A l o u d h u m at m y ear makes m e flinch, and I t u r n just in

We even use color as a guide to spiritual n o u r i s h m e n t . Reli-

t i m e to see a dazzling r u b y - t h r o a t e d h u m m i n g b i r d trying to sip

gious events a l m o s t always include rituals involving sacred col-

from m y crimson hair ribbon. It m o v e s d o w n t o m y T-shirt,

ors. W h e n m o r n i n g dawns at t h e M u l k t e s h w a r t e m p l e in M a p u ,

pauses, tries to sip, m o v e s along, tries t o sip again, and

finally

India, a priest chants t h e 1,008 n a m e s of Shiva while p e r f o r m i n g a

gives up. Flowers offering red blossoms are t h e favorite dive of

ritual w i t h brightly colored flowers. T h e m a l e and female forces

h u m m i n g b i r d s , b u t m a n y people I k n o w have h a d h u m m i n g -

of t h e universe are worshiped w i t h w h i t e flowers (symbolizing

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s e m e n ) and red flowers (symbolizing m e n s t r u a l blood). T h e n

of their rivals in order t o l u r e and steal o t h e r females' mates.

marigold petals are offered as a symbol of purification. Before t h e

I suppose in t h e w o r l d of fireflies t h e y w o u l d be k n o w n n o t as

ritual is c o m p l e t e , t h e r e is m u c h l i g h t i n g of l a m p s , because,

scarlet b u t "chartreuse" w o m e n . Indeed, animals respond so zeal-

a c c o r d i n g t o H i n d u p h i l o s o p h y , colors e m e r g e d f r o m a single

ously t o color t h a t t h e y s o m e t i m e s overlook t h e obvious. W h e n I

flame. Western astrophysicists w o u l d probably agree.

was in t h e Antarctic, I found myself in a large colony of black-,

O n t h e same m o r n i n g , along t h e banks of t h e Ganges,

and-yellow king p e n g u i n s . I h a p p e n e d t o be w e a r i n g a bright yel-

bathers pause at t h e G o l d e n T e m p l e to have their foreheads

l o w sweatsuit a n d I w o r e m y black hair long. I also h a p p e n e d to

t o u c h e d w i t h c o l o r y e l l o w sandalwood as a symbol of Shiva. At

k n o w t h e female king p e n g u i n ' s c o u r t s h i p dance. W h e n I k n e l t

t h e river bank, a priest wearing yellow robes over his red-stained

a n d s w u n g m y head like a female p e n g u i n doing a m a t i n g display,

skin is celebrating Holi, t h e festival of spring, w h o s e p a t r o n god is

a m a l e i m m e d i a t e l y left t h e colony, waddled over at speed, and

Krishna. In a final stage of complexly erotic ceremonies, m e n will

t o o k a good long look at m e , pacing anxiously back and fprth,

tease w o m e n by singing lascivious songs and sprinkling t h e m

looking, looking, before h e decided I m i g h t n o t be his type. I was

w i t h colored water, and an e x u b e r a n t crowd will toss clouds of

all t h e right colors t o trigger his lustwell, almost t h e right colors

red p o w d e r i n t o t h e air, s h o w e r i n g everyone w i t h crimson.

a n d m o v i n g in almost t h e right way.

In n a t u r e , flashy dress usually signifies danger. Arrow-poison

W h e n I h e a r t h e distrant trills of a rehearsing opera singer, I

frogs a n n o u n c e in screaming colors: Don't touch! So d o m o n a r c h

smile: s o m e w h e r e , barely visible, gray tree frogs are advertising

butterflies, heart-stoppingly beautiful w i t h their

digitalislike

for mates. It's fascinating h o w animals use color for camouflage.

poison. Banded bumblebees w a r n of stingers, d i a m o n d b a c k e d

A green damselfly, w h o s e t r a n s p a r e n t wings help it disappear

rattlers of fangs. "Dangerous if attacked or eaten," their colors

a m o n g last year's Q u e e n A n n e ' s lace, b e c o m e s visible o n l y w h e n

proclaim. Even plants use color t o c o m m u n i c a t e danger. As Dr.

it twitters into flight at m y knee. Perching, it disappears;

Michael Kasperbauer of t h e USDA Coastal Plains Research C e n -

ing, it reappears. T h o u s a n d s of g o l d e n r o d s seem frothing at t h e

ter has discovered, w h e n plants are exposed t o far-red, a color

m o u t h , because t h e y ' r e full of spittle bugs, tiny critters t h a t p r o -

beyond h u m a n vision, t h e y react as if t h e y w e r e t h r e a t e n e d by ri-

d u c e a facade of w h i t e s p u m e t o hide b e n e a t h while t h e y suck t h e

vals, spiraling high and boosting t h e chlorophyll and p r o t e i n in

p l a n t leaves. T h e optical illusion k n o w n as c o u n t e r s h a d i n g works

their leaves. Fearful t o m a t o plants g r o w taller faster a n d fruit ear-

for m a n y animals, including p e n g u i n s , w h i c h are black o n t h e

lier t h a n their c o m p e t i t o r s . Kasperbauer found equally intriguing

t o p so t h a t leopard seals and o t h e r p r e d a t o r s w o n ' t see t h e m

results w h e n h e exposed c o t t o n and t u r n i p plants t o blue. Ambi-

w h e n looking d o w n t h r o u g h ocean depths; and white o n their

tious growers can b u y a variety of colored m u l c h e s , beginning

bellies so t h a t t h e same p r e d a t o r s ; looking up, will confuse t h e m

w i t h far-red.

w i t h clouds a n d sky. B u t t h e r e are even subtler disguises.

Birds do it, bees d o it, even little fleas d o i t u s e color t o attract a m a t e . Female spotted turtles, h a m a d r y a s baboons, birds of
paradise, and countless o t h e r animals signal fertility w i t h color.
Femme-fatale l i g h t n i n g bugs cleverly decipher t h e s e m a p h o r e

flutter-

" C a n you see t h e caterpillar o n this leaf?" T o m asks, p o i n t i n g

at w h a t looks like a familiar j u m b l e of leaves.
Peering, squinting, stepping back, b e n d i n g low, I look hard.
S o m e t h i n g twitches a n d I p o i n t t o it.

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"The caterpillar disguises itself in petals," h e explains. "Put it

t h e local b r o w n i s h - o r a n g e lichen, w h i c h gives Harris tweed its

o n a p l a n t a n d it gives i m m e d i a t e priority t o dressing itself u p . It

distinctive color a n d o d o r . Fashionably respectable, Harris tweed

sews t h e m o n t o its back, w h e r e it has special spines."

qualifies b o t h as display a n d social camouflage. B u t I d o u b t m a n y

A h o o d e d warbler flies i n t o a tall ash tree, buzz-calling w h a t

of its devotees k n o w t h e y ' r e clad i n lichen. It's h a r d e n o u g h for

s o u n d s like J am lazy. I am lazy. I can't h e l p b u t w o n d e r h o w m a n y

h u m a n s t o dress themselves ingeniously. H o w o n e a r t h does this

times T o m saw his t h r e e d a u g h t e r s play dress-up w h e n t h e y w e r e

caterpillar get it right?

small, or h o w m a n y Halloween c o s t u m e s h e a n d his wife Maria

helped t h e m create. Over t h e years, Maria has m a s t e r e d t h e scan-

"Well, suppose it takes t h e correct petals," I ask T o m after a

m o m e n t , " b u t d o e s n ' t always p u t t h e m o n in t h e right way?"

n i n g electron microscope, a n d p r o d u c e d astonishing images of

m i n u t e l y distant worlds.
" T h a t s o u n d s like a l o t of work. W h a t does it sew with?"

His face lights up. "In fact it does m a k e mistakes and t h e n it ends
u p being very conspicuous and that's a real hazard, because t h e
caterpillars are h u n t e d by little wasps t h a t can see in ultraviolet."

"Threads of silk m a n u f a c t u r e d from special glands. It reaches

over t h e petal from t h e spine, p u t s a little silk a r o u n d here, and

" H o w will t h e c o s t u m e d r a m a of this caterpillar end?" I ask.

"Will it m a s t e r its disguise?"

voild! we have a perfectly c o s t u m e d caterpillar. Obviously a very

effective m e a n s of defense."
"Caterpillars sewing costumes?" It looks like a Chinese dragon
in a N e w Year's Day parade. "Crafty little thing."

"We're dealing w i t h a remarkable situation," T o m says excitedly, "in w h i c h w e can w a t c h evolution in action right now. T h e
caterpillar is d o i n g a good job, b u t it's n o t perfectly camouflaged
yet. So any mistake could p r o v e fatal." As dire as t h a t sounds,

"Isn't it amazingly skillful?"

T o m is clearly delighted to w a t c h t h e trials of n a t u r e unfold and

A nearby stone glows in a jacket of red lichen. It w o u l d m a k e

try to guess what-will-be. Meanwhile, t h e caterpillar juggles t h e

a beautiful dye for a Chinese d r a g o n c o s t u m e . Indeed, m a n y of

petals, searching for a m a s q u e r a d e t h a t will succeed.

t h e preserve's plants and minerals w o u l d p r o d u c e delicate or i n -

If t h e caterpillar's sewing tricks seem strange, o n e need only

delible stains. B u t these 270 acres of forest, wetlands, m e a d o w s ,

r e m e m b e r t h a t h u m a n c o s t u m e and play have p r o d u c e d s o m e

and p o n d s have been set aside as t h e first Biodiversity Preserve in a

m i g h t y odd camouflage fashions, including m y personal favorite:

t e m p e r a t e climate, and m a y n o t be exploited, except benignly, in

the

a way so discreet as to be thrilling. We t h i n k of t h e A m a z o n as

Louis XIV. In t h a t era, clothes w e r e so infested w i t h fleas t h a t

a p a n t r y of undiscovered marvels, b u t it o c c u r r e d to T o m t h a t

m a s t e r dyers created a special color for t h e g o w n s to m a k e crawl-

m a n y u n k n o w n chemicals lurk in t e m p e r a t e forests. T h u s h e

i n g insects a little less obvious. T h e y called t h e h u e "puce,"

helped establish this preserve for chemical prospecting. It's o p e n

w h i c h is F r e n c h for flea. Privileged a n d jaded d e c a d e n t s in Marie

to hikers, cross-country skiers, a n d birders, of course, b u t also

A n t o i n e t t e ' s c o u r t also w o r e g o w n s in such camouflage colors

is hospitable to people searching for n e w drugs, organic pesti-

as "dead flea," "flea shit," a n d "baby's vomit." At least t h e y had a

cides, a n d o t h e r pharmaceuticals. Beautiful as t h e red lichen m a y

sense of h u m o r a b o u t their infestation. Nobility being w h a t it is,

be, g a t h e r i n g e n o u g h for a dye w o u l d be taboo. If I lived in Harris,

p u c e a n d o t h e r flea t o n e s soon b e c a m e all t h e rage in France.

Scotland, o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , I'd find dyers collecting bushels of

floor-length

g o w n s w o r n at Versailles d u r i n g t h e reign of

Like o t h e r animals, w e use color t o c o m m u n i c a t e all sorts of

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information, even m o o d . A n e m o t i o n a l o c t o p u s changes color.

pie in Nara, t h e ancient capital of Japan, m o n k s m a k e 500 paper

We do t h e same. W h e n we're embarrassed w e blush. Like t h e

camellias in red and w h i t e t h e m o s t auspicious c o l o r s w i t h

h u m m i n g b i r d and t h e t o m a t o , we respond passionately to red, a

w h i c h t o celebrate t h e traditional c e r e m o n y of Water Drawing.

blood color t h a t excites o u r senses, s o m e t i m e s into fright, b u t

T h r o u g h o u t t h e world, h e n n a ' s lustrous red dye is favored as a

m o s t often into arousal. Hence t h e cliche of t h e seductive "scar-

hair and body stain. Using t h e body as a canvas, artists create intri-

let" w o m a n in a red dress, w h i c h has s o m e basis in fact. W h e n a

cate h e n n a - r e d designs, s o m e according t o traditional patterns,

m a n sees bright red, his pituitary gland tells his adrenal gland to

b u t o t h e r s improvisatory and m o d e r n . In Delhi, w o m e n a t t e n d -

secrete m o r e adrenaline a n d get his body ready for action. It's n o

ing a w e d d i n g will decorate their h a n d s w i t h h e n n a paste, w h i c h

surprise t h a t Marlboro cigarettes, Coca-Cola, Campbell's soups,

t h e y leave o n for an h o u r , softening t h e color w i t h c o c o n u t oil,

Budweiser beer, Colgate t o o t h p a s t e , and countless o t h e r p r o d -

and applying lime juice (to d a r k e n t h e tint), finally rinsing their

ucts rely o n red in their advertisements and packaging to entice

richly stained h a n d s w i t h oil. In Luxor, o n t h e eve of their wed-

consumers.

ding, a bride and g r o o m will enjoy a " h e n n a n i g h t " party. Pow-

Of course, we also use color t o express status or power, and

dered h e n n a is diluted w i t h water and sugar (to guarantee a sweet

m a n y p o t e n t a t e s have a m u s e d themselves by c o n q u e r i n g a fa-

life), and baked i n t o a cake, w h i c h dancers balance o n their heads.

vorite h u e . According to R o m a n law, for example, only e m p e r o r s

Finally, t h e h e n n a cake is used t o dye t h e h a n d s a n d feet. Beauti-

could wear Tyrian p u r p l e , a s u m p t u o u s shade t h a t Pliny t h e

ful as h e n n a m a y be, in Islamic tradition it also grants purifica-

Elder described as " t h e color of congealed blood, blackish at first,

tion; t h u s h e n n a staining is a vital p a r t of weddings, baby showers,

b u t gleaming w h e n held u p t o t h e light." It was obtained by

and burials. In ancient Egypt, mummification rites included h e n n a ,

c r u s h i n g m u r e x , a M e d i t e r r a n e a n shellfish, and illegal p u r v e y o r s

and for centuries color m e r c h a n t s offered European painters (in-

o f t h e p u r p l e dye could be p u t to death. M o n t e z u m a and o t h e r

cluding R e m b r a n d t ) a p i g m e n t k n o w n as " m u m m y , " a p o t e n t

Aztec e m p e r o r s claimed t h e right to wear royal red, w h i c h m e a n t

b r o w n m a d e from t h e c r u s h e d r e m a i n s of t h e h e n n a - i m b u e d

imposing o n their subjects a special tax to be paid in cochineal insects, from w h i c h t h e vibrant dye came. W h e n t h e Spanish ar-

mummies.

rived, t h e y c o n q u e r e d t h e cochineal trade, a n d in 1587 alone sent

sixty-five t o n s of cochineal to Spain. Their m o n o p o l y of royal red

A blue jay takes flight, leaving a deep-blue feather o n t h e g r o u n d

finally ended w h e n a French naturalist s m u g g l e d cochineal in-

b e h i n d it. Picking u p t h e feather, I t u r n it every w h i c h way, and to

sects and their host plant, t h e prickly pear cactus, t o France.

m e it still looks blue. W h e n I c r u s h t h e feather, it s u d d e n l y be-

We're so addicted to color t h a t s o m e c u l t u r e s have found

c o m e s a d u l l grayish b r o w n . Color doesn't appear in t h e world,

n o v e l g a m e s t o play w i t h it, i n c l u d i n g t h e telling of t i m e . In

b u t in t h e m i n d . Blue jays only appear blue because of t h e way

e i g h t e e n t h - c e n t u r y France, t h e "white h o u r " was t h e h o u r be-

light strikes cells lying along t h e feathers. T h e s a m e is t r u e o f t h e

fore d i n n e r w h e n t h e gentry p o w d e r e d their wigs, t h e "lavender

M o r p h o butterfly's l u m i n o u s blue wings, w h e r e millions of intri-

h o u r " t h e delicate o n e just before sunset. We even believe o u r

cately ridged scales p r o d u c e t h e illusion of blue. "The precision is

gods prefer special colors. Each year in spring, at a Buddhist t e m -

extraordinary, very sharply t u n e d to a particular w a v e l e n g t h of

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l i g h t " T o m has glimpsed t h e m t h r o u g h a s c a n n i n g electron

chrysalis, and, p e r h a p s m o s t famously, t h e glory of t u r n i n g leaves

microscope. W h e n Nissan M o t o r C o m p a n y realized w h y M o r p h o s

in t h e fall. In a few m o n t h s , t h e Preserve will t e e m w i t h vibrantly

look blue, it created a fluorescent blue car finish based o n t h e

colored fall leaves. A l t h o u g h t h e y will appear to be adding color,

same law of s t r u c t u r a l ( r a t h e r t h a n p i g m e n t e d ) color. M u c h of

it is really a f o r m of subtraction. T h e colors w e r e t h e r e all along,

w h a t w e call color is really architecture o n a microscopic scale.

b u t h i d d e n by t h e chlorophyll-rich greens of s u m m e r . W h e n t h e

T h e color of a polar bear's fur is n o t w h i t e b u t t r a n s p a r e n t . Air

trees stop p r o d u c i n g chlorophyll and pare d o w n for winter, t h e

bubbles inside t h e fur catch t h e light in a way t h a t w e perceive as

brilliant reds and o r a n g e s t h a t w e r e always t h e r e b u t masked

"white." Apples are n o t red. T h e sky is n o t blue. Actually an apple

by g r e e n b e c o m e visible for t h e first t i m e all year. Once again

is everything but red, t h e sky is everything but blue. T h e red rays,

w e discover h o w m u c h of color is h i d d e n from h u m a n view. But

b o u n c i n g off t h e apple, are rejected by it; seeing t h a t h a p p e n , w e

illusion has always been at t h e heart of color, which becomes clear

t h i n k "red." Overhead, t h e clear sky is n o t blue b u t slippery. Blue

if w e trace t h e w o r d "color" to its source in t h e Indo-European

light rays skid off t h e molecules of air, and so t h e sky seems to be

r o o t kel- w h i c h m e a n t "hide" (and is t h e origin of such words as

full of "blue." Even blue eyes are n o t i n h e r e n t l y blue, n o t stained

apocalypse, clandestine, conceal, occult).

blue like t h e fabric of a sari. Eyes appear blue for t h e s a m e reason

In t h e lavender h o u r of twilight, a glorious sunset begins

t h e sky d o e s w h e n light enters blue eyes, s h o r t blue rays scatter

w i t h a slow caravan of red, orange, and yellow g u s h i n g behind

as they j u m p off tiny, n o n p i g m e n t e d particles. W h a t we see are

t h e forest of aspen and pine. At last it builds to a swirling t u m u l t

scattered rays: eyes shining blue.

of scarlet, fuchsia, and deepest p u r p l e . All over t h e world people

All a r o u n d m e , t h e r e are so m a n y shades of green. W h y do

witness and celebrate this daily marvel, as sunlight traveling

t h e r e n e e d t o be so many greens? A l t h o u g h it d i d n ' t evolve for o u r

t h r o u g h t h e lens of t h e a t m o s p h e r e bends i n t o intense, a m b i g u -

pleasure, green seems to be a color w e respond to deeply. T h i n k

ous colors. H o w w e love t o play w i t h color. I picture t h e n e o n

oiplaying, and m o s t likely you'll p i c t u r e a field of green grass and

lights of H o n g Kong; t h e carnival c o s t u m e s in Rio de Janeiro;

trees, in m e m o r y of backyard play, school playgrounds, or t e a m

N e w G u i n e a warriors in paint, masks, and headdresses; Spanish

sports at a stadium. According to Swiss researcher Max Luscher,

flamenco

whose color test is widely used in E u r o p e to screen job applicants,

dancers. O u r passion for color connects us intimately to people

people w h o prefer green t e n d to be firm, constant, and resistant

everywhere, b u t also to plants and animals. We are all of us b a m -

to change. Recalling t h e faces of environmentalist friends w h o

boozled by its trickery, exalted by its richness, and enslaved by its

prefer t h e color green, indeed are k n o w n as "Greens," I w o n d e r if

messages. Craving color like a d r u g , we will rise at d a w n , or trek

they tend t o be "firm, constant, resistant to change." T h e y have

l o n g distances to scenic l o o k o u t points, just to d r i n k color from

those, and m a n y o t h e r qualities. However, t h e y live by paradox,

t h e fountains o f t h e sun.

as so m a n y of us do. Wishing t o keep n a t u r e intact, t h e y are resist a n t to change. But t h e essence of n a t u r e is change.
T h a t change is usually signaled and revealed by color. Example: t h e c h a n g i n g colors of a m o n a r c h butterfly's Faberge-like

dancers; a Van G o g h being auctioned; Hopi k a c h i n a

Some things turn me on as if I'd swallowed a neon

sign.
Smoke Blanchard, high-altitude climber
I grow less and less afraid ofthe presence of skeptics
and of their opinions. Little by little, I am escaping
from their grasp, on the understanding that they
provide me with food for my ohs! and ahs!, which
don't make a great noise but come from a long
way down, and on condition also that they furnish
me with my daily subject of amazement. A lack of
money, if it be relative, and a lack of comfort can
be endured if one is sustained by pride. But not the
need to be astounded. Astound me, try your hardest.
These last flashes of astonishment are what I cannot
live without.
Colette, Earthly Paradise

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I t o o w a n t to r o a m a r o u n d t h e islet of Langerhans, study t h e

h e a r t valves, pause at a synaptic j u n c t i o n . We l o n g to k n o w w h o
V Vhatever

t h e future m a y hold, we s h o u l d expect a d r a m a t i c

w e are, to u n d e r s t a n d h o w w e exist. It is a dignified and noble

c h a n g e in h o w w e regard t h e body and play w i t h its mysteries.

h u n g e r . Of course w e w a n t a reliable cartography of t h e h u m a n

Once it was revered as an astonishing c o m b i n a t i o n of c o n t r a p -

body. W h e n I was a child, we h a d s e e - t h r o u g h plastic people

tion, temple, and resort. D o c t o r s r e m e m b e r i n g their m e d - s c h o o l

( m i n u s genitals) called t h e Visible M a n a n d t h e Visible W o m a n .

days of dissecting cadavers often r e p o r t a gradual ascent from

T h e d a n g e r is t h a t , in o u r eagerness a n d sloth, w e m a y confuse

a practical, bone-and-gristle, up-to-their-elbows-in-stench attitude

t h e m e n u w i t h t h e meal, mistake t h e c a r t o o n w o m a n for t h e real

to o n e of w o n d e r m e n t and deep respect. W h a t will h a p p e n w h e n

McCoy, t e n d t o disregard t h e awkward and messy e m o t i o n a l life

intimacy n o longer requires physical contact? W h e n t h e senses

this w o m a n lived. I k n o w her life was awkward and messy, be-

are denied? Recently, a dead w o m a n was sliced u p , s c a n n e d by an

cause all lives are. That's w h a t m a k e s t h e m so fascinating, ulti-

MRI m a c h i n e , digitalized, and fed into t h e I n t e r n e t so t h a t web

m a t e l y u n k n o w a b l e , and quirky e n o u g h to digitalize a d r e a m .

warriors and n e t surfers could d o w n l o a d h e r and learn t h e m y s -

T h e Virtual M a n and Virtual W o m a n are odd bedfellows o n

teries of t h e h u m a n body. This is all p a r t of t h e Visible H u m a n

t h e N o a h ' s ark of c o m p u t e r l a n d . Ironically, t h e y are electrical

Project, a m o m e n t o u s futuristic feat. By far, it is t h e strangest of

p h a n t o m s , just as t h e real m a n and w o m a n were, ghostly p o r -

all c o m p u t e r games. I ' m c o n c e r n e d a b o u t h o w u n k n o w a b l e this

traits of w h o t h e y w e r e at t h e m o m e n t w h e n t h e y ceased to exist.

w o m a n continues to be, and w h a t will always be lacking from any

O n l y n o w t h e y exist forever. E m p t y vessels. Microscopic post-

Gray's Anatomy, even a cyberspace one.

cards. H a r d - t i m e felons m a k e an unlikely A d a m and Eve. Maybe

In similar sense, t h e Barbie doll was also a virtual w o m a n ,

t h e y will just be a c h a p t e r from t h e brave n e w G a r d e n of Eden,

a c a r t o o n version. This n e w cell-by^cell female is m o r e scientifi-

soon to be followed by w h o l e libraries of people for us to undress

cally accurate, b u t just as m u c h a cipher. She's closer to a t h r e e -

a n d ogle. It says a lot a b o u t o u r quest for self-understanding, and

dimensional poster t h a n to a h u m a n . A l t h o u g h she's a very

also a b o u t o u r retreat from t h e m u c k y , smelly, h a n d s - o n experi-

useful cadaver, s t u d e n t s can dissect h e r w i t h o u t t h e

usual

ence of o u r senses. Sanitize h o r r o r and it loses its p u n c h . Hobble

u n p l e a s a n t n e s s a l l t h e devastating smells of d e a t h and form-

all t h e senses except t h e visual, and you p r o d u c e curiously de-

aldehyde t h a t are nearly impossible to wash off one's h a n d s a n d

prived voyeurs. D e a t h should be disturbing. It s h o u l d affect us

t h a t makes studying her b o t h thrilling and dangerously bland.

viscerally, n o t just fascinate us b u t also fill us w i t h l a m e n t

Isn't this w h a t Marshall M c L u h a n was w a r n i n g us a b o u t ages

a n d compassion. S h o u l d it provide a playground for cyberspace

ago? T h e r e will c o m e a time, h e predicted, w h e n we'll happily eat

anatomists and casual I n t e r n e t browsers alike? Does it m a t t e r

t h e m e n u instead o f t h e food. With t h e Virtual W o m a n , a n e w era

w h a t games t h e y devise t o play w i t h t h e digitalized r e m a i n s of

begins in w h i c h w e s t u d y t h e p i c t u r e of a w o m a n as t h o u g h she

people? As m o r e bodies b e c o m e available, we will have m a n y

w e r e real, n o t a n o t h e r flat abstraction, a n o t h e r k i n d of poster

questions to consider. A m o n g t h e m will be w h a t sort of doctors

tacked u p o n t h e inside of a locker door.

w e h o p e to p r o d u c e .

I u n d e r s t a n d t h e h u n g e r , tapped by t h e m o v i e Fantastic Voyage.

Dr. Lewis T h o m a s , a poetic essayist and o n e of o u r brightest

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spiritssomeone in whose h a n d s civilization w o u l d be safe

wrote poetry, and believed t h a t doctors need to be w e l l - r o u n d e d
h u m a n i s t s . I r e m e m b e r visiting h i m o n e day in his office o n t h e
t o p floor o f t h e Sloan-Kettering Cancer Institute, of w h i c h h e was
director. Eating l u n c h from hospital trays, we sat and discussed
c o n t e m p o r a r y poetry, a m o n g o t h e r things. I h a d b r o u g h t h i m an
offprint of Paul West's colorful essay a b o u t migraines I t h o u g h t
m i g h t interest him, and it did. Part of Lewis T h o m a s ' s great
c h a r m was t h a t his w o n d e r nerves w e r e close to t h e surface. H e
t o o k o n e look at t h e offprint, flashed a y o u t h f u l grin, and exclaimed, "Hot dog!"
T h o m a s used to advise medical s t u d e n t s to t e m p e r t h e austere m e c h a n i c s of medicine w i t h compassion, tenderness, and
wisdom. A l t h o u g h h e h a t e d t h e idea of treating patients, or any
people for t h a t m a t t e r , as m e r e objects, h e respected t h e m in t h e
r o u n d , and devoted his lifeboth as a writer and as a d o c t o r t o
healing t h e w h o l e person, ailing b o d y and m u r m u r o u s soul. I can
only imagine w h a t h e w o u l d have m a d e of finding a virtual
w o m a n o n his c o m p u t e r , h e r organs succinct and detachable. I
t h i n k h e m i g h t have d o w n l o a d e d h e r heart, and noticed t h a t it
looks like a haiku.
S o m e t h i n g else t h a t w o u l d have given h i m pause is t h e c o m p u t e r p r o g r a m EMI ( p r o n o u n c e d " E m m y " ) . Designed by c o m poser David C o p e to help d u r i n g dry periods, EMI can g e n e r a t e
exquisite n e w M o z a r t symphonies, s y m p h o n i e s t h a t experts can't
distinguish as fakes. Indeed, r u n n i n g o n a standard Macintosh
c o m p u t e r , EMI can also t u r n o u t plausible n e w works by Bach,
Beethoven, Brahms, C h o p i n , and o t h e r greats. This w o u l d n ' t be
so t h r e a t e n i n g if her compositions w e r e lifeless forgeries, technically right yet unsubtle; b u t she can c o m p o s e n e w works by
M o z a r t m o r e ingeniously, m o r e touchingly, t h a n h u m a n s can.
We identify t h e hard w o r k of art w i t h u n i q u e l y talented souls,
w h o create from raw n e e d in an ecstasy of deep play. W h a t does it

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m e a n if an emotionless, wisdomless, thoughtless, passionless,

c o m p l e t e l y painfree c o m p u t e r p r o g r a m can c o m p o s e b r e a t h t a k i n g works of expressive music? W h e n Douglas Hofstadter, a
cognitive scientist and pianist, first played EMFs n e w " C h o p i n "
m a z u r k a , h e was s t u n n e d . "EMI has n o m o d e l whatsoever of life
experiences, has n o sense of itself, has n o sense of C h o p i n , has
never heard a n o t e of music, has n o trace in it of t h e place w h e r e
I t h i n k music comes from. N o t a trace," h e exclaimed. "I'm
c o m p a r i n g t h a t w i t h an entire h u m a n soul, o n e forged by t h e
struggles a n d travails of life, and all t h e experiences t h a t create
e m o t i o n : t u r m o i l , excitement, h o p e , despair, resignation, everyt h i n g you w a n t to t h i n k of t h a t goes i n t o building a character."
Yet EMFs fine m a z u r k a s o u n d s like it t r u l y belongs in Chopin's
opus. A virtual c o m p o s e r of EMI's skill is w o r r i s o m e . C a n great
music be w r i t t e n w i t h o u t t h e h e a r t and soul of a genius? "If that's
t h e c a s e a n d I ' m n o t saying it i s t h e n I've been fooled by
music all m y life," Hofstadter l a m e n t s . "I've been sucked in by a
vast illusion. A n d t h a t w o u l d be for m e an absolute tragedy, because m y entire life I've been m o v e d by music. I've always felt I've
been c o m i n g in contact w i t h t h e absolute essence of h u m a n i t y . "
I ' m sure Lewis T h o m a s w h o w r o t e lovingly of h o w Gustav
Mahler's m u s i c m o v e d h i m w o u l d agree. Virtual h u m a n s , virtual artists. If c o m p o s e r s w h o aren't capable of great works can
c r e a t e c o m p u t e r p r o g r a m s t h a t a r e w h e r e does t h e creative
act lie? At a p a r t y years ago, British a s t r o n o m e r Sir Fred H o y l e
was m u s i n g a b o u t w h a t h e w o u l d like t o be, w e r e h e n o t an ast r o n o m e r . He said h e w o u l d w a n t to be Bach, so t h a t h e could
c o m p o s e even m o r e Bachian music, w h i c h h e assumed required
t h a t h e become t h a t u n i q u e l y talented h u m a n being. O n t h e m o s t
basic level, a w e l l - t u t o r e d c o m p u t e r can play w i t h p a t t e r n s , intervals, a n d m o t i f s j u s t as e v o l u t i o n can. B u t t h e r e is a vast
difference b e t w e e n basic play a n d d e e p play, b e t w e e n

fiddling

w i t h p a t t e r n s and inspired, r a p t u r o u s acts of creation. Or so we

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t h o u g h t . N o w what? D o we redefine creativity? D o w e m o v e t h e

t h e West, because we're so fixated o n clinging to people and m a t e -

yardstick so as to exclude n o n h u m a n s ? D o w e place c o m p u t e r

rial things t h a t w e can only imagine being violently w r e n c h e d

artists in t h e same category as elephant, c h i m p a n z e e , or d o l p h i n

away from t h e m . B u t Buddhists w o u l d call it nonattachment, a state

painters? Or d o w e recognize t h e h u m a n tutelage in s o m e way?

in w h i c h craving to be elsewhere or otherwise or in possession

Given t h e n e w sacred playgrounds of cyberspace, w h e r e o n e a r t h

of a n y t h i n g simply doesn't h a p p e n . T h e y are t w o views of t h e

will t h e play spirit lead us in t h e n e w m i l l e n n i u m ? Perhaps all t h e

same m e n t a l sanctuary. "I liken r u n n i n g , " psychiatrist T h a d d e u s

way t o heaven.

Kostrubala writes, "to o n e o f t h e m a j o r techniques of meditation,

and s o m e t i m e s prayer, e m p l o y e d by virtually all disciplines East
and West: t h e c o n s t a n t repetition of a particular w o r d or series of

M a n y forms of play can sweep o n e along o n gradual waves of

w o r d s . . . t h e same process occurs in t h e repetitive r h y t h m of

laughter and ingenuity, while othersreligious mysticism, sports,

slow long-distance r u n n i n g . Eventually, at s o m e w h e r e between

composing music, a d v e n t u r i n g c a n swiftly b e c o m e elevating, of

t h i r t y and forty m i n u t e s , t h e conscious m i n d gets exhausted and

cosmic i m p o r t a n c e , deadly serious, and thrillingly addictive. "At

o t h e r areas of consciousness are activated."

t h e peak of a t r e m e n d o u s and victorious effort," Russian weight-

As a reservoir of deep play, games, sports, religion, and art

lifter Yuri Vlasov told a reporter, "while t h e blood is p o u n d i n g in

have m u c h in c o m m o n , and m a y even be interchangeable.

y o u r head, all s u d d e n l y becomes quiet w i t h i n you. At t h a t m o -

"Games often create an order t h a t resembles t h e cadenced life of

m e n t you have t h e conviction t h a t you contain all t h e p o w e r in

a s h r a m s and monasteries," Esalen's founder, Michael M u r p h y ,

t h e world, t h a t you are capable of everything, t h a t you have

writes, "and sporting expeditions are in certain respects like reli-

wings. T h e r e is n o m o r e precious m o m e n t in life t h a n t h i s . . . and

gious pilgrimages. . . . T h e spatial and t e m p o r a l b o u n d e d n e s s of

you will w o r k very hard for years just t o taste it again."

sport, by ordering and sublimating o u r energies and by closing off

At t h e h e a r t of deep play is a form of m e d i t a t i o n favored especially by westerners; people w h o t e n d to prefer bustle to inertia

t h e world's d r u d g e r y and confusion, can evoke o u r spiritual

d e p t h s like a w o r k of art or a m o n a s t i c discipline."

prefer t o m e d i t a t e in m o t i o n . Meditation requires c o n c e n t r a t i n g

Deep players are ascetics w h o w i t h d r a w from t h e world for a

on a limited field; a r h y t h m i c m o t i o n (usually deep breathing);

while and e n t e r a meditative state. This state m a y be active, even

repetition to clear t h e m i n d of distractions; w i t h d r a w a l from t h e

full of c o m m o t i o n , b u t t h e player often reports a sense of calm

world; alert relaxation; m e n t a l cleansing or e m p t y i n g ; a release

and well-being. W h e n playing golf, for example, o n e strolls over

from previous habits and knowledge. In deep play, o n e also finds

u n d u l a t i n g lawns at a slow pace, in relative quiet, even w h e n t h e

physical and m e n t a l control, sensory alertness, t h e ability to ig-

stakes are high. "I'd liken it to a sense of of reverie," A r n o l d

n o r e pain. Both rely o n focus, integration, and power; and b o t h

Palmer writes a b o u t his m o o d d u r i n g t o u r n a m e n t play, " n o t a

contain elements of self-hypnosis. With one's senses h e i g h t e n e d ,

dreamlike state b u t t h e s o m e h o w insulated state t h a t a great m u -

o n e enters "the zone," " t h e flow," a "cocoon of consciousness," in

sician achieves in a great performance. He's aware of w h e r e he

which o n e feels a strong sense of d e t a c h m e n t from t h e relation-

is and w h a t he's doing, b u t his m i n d is o n t h e playing of his in-

ships and trappings of ordinary life. Detachment is w h a t we call it in

s t r u m e n t w i t h an internal sense of rightnessit is n o t m e r e l y

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mechanical, it is n o t only spiritual; it is s o m e t h i n g of b o t h , o n a

A r o u n d 3500 B.C., t h e S u m e r i a n s carved prayers in cuneiform

different plane and a m o r e r e m o t e one." As I said, s o m e activities

characters o n clay tablets. A r o u n d 100 A.D., while Egyptians praised

are m o r e conducive t o deep play t h a n others, b u t w h a t m a t t e r s is

t h e glories of Isis in hieroglyphs, t h e Essene Jews recorded t h e

t h e m o o d , n o t t h e activity. O n e can h u n t m u s h r o o m s w i t h a n

teachings of Jesus o n p a p y r u s scrolls. A r o u n d t h e first c e n t u r y

e n t h u s i a s m bordering o n mania, find bliss in building a wall of

A.D., w h e n t h e first fragile books appeared, Christians c o m b i n e d

perfectly balanced fieldstone, lose t h e w o r l d while p e r f o r m i n g

and edited t h e holy scrolls into t h e codices o f t h e Old Testament.

c o m p l e x surgery. Deep play can be s o l e m n or rich w i t h l a u g h t e r .

While t h e R o m a n s continued to read about their gods in unwieldy

O n t h e o t h e r hand, o n e can t u r n bronco riding into drudgery.

scrolls, t h e Christians e m b r a c e d t h e n e w t e c h n o l o g y w h o l e -

O n e can create mildly. O n e can live at a low flame. Most p e o -

heartedly; it m e a n t t h a t t h e y could easily t r a n s p o r t their reli-

ple do. We're afraid t o look foolish, or feel t o o extravagantly, or

gious teachings. T h e only drawback was t h a t each page h a d to be

m a k e a mistake, or risk unnecessary pain. You'd t h i n k t h e r e was a

created laboriously by h a n d , and, in time, medieval scriptoria

golden ledger in t h e sky o n w h i c h debits and credits w e r e care-

w e r e filled w i t h m o n k s i l l u m i n a t i n g copies o f t h e Latinate Bible,

fully noted, a scale o n w h i c h each t h o u g h t a n d action was as-

w h i c h t h e y illustrated profusely and b o u n d in durable leather.

sayed. For some, life is an exercise in m o d e r a t i o n . T h e best china is

T h e activity b r o u g h t t h e m m e n t a l illumination, as well; it be-

saved for special occasions and t h u s rarely enjoyed. O n e fears in-

c a m e a form of m e d i t a t i o n , prayer, and artistry. O n l y t h e elite

tensity. But, given s o m e t h i n g like death, w h a t does it m a t t e r if

could afford t o b u y s u c h m a n u s c r i p t s in w h a t was essentially " t h e

o n e looks foolish n o w and t h e n , or tries t o o hard, or cares t o o

first i n f o r m a t i o n age," as M a r t i n Irvine has called it. "It was t h e

deeply? A shallow life creates a world flat as a shadow. In t h a t half-

first t i m e a w h o l e civilization [had] a standard t e c h n o l o g y for

light, t h e s u n never burns, risks recede, safety becomes habit, and

r e c o r d i n g a n d distributing information." T h e n , in 1456, J o h a n n e s

individuals have little to teach o n e a n o t h e r . "The waking have

G u t e n b e r g invented m o v a b l e type and t h e p r i n t i n g press, choos-

o n e c o m m o n world," H o m e r observes, "but t h e sleeping t u r n

ing t h e Bible as t h e first example of this n e w technique. He only

aside each into a world of his own." Westerners m a y prefer active

m a n a g e d to p r i n t t w o h u n d r e d copies of t h e Bible, b u t t h a t

states of meditation, b u t o n e can also reach deep play while sit-

nonetheless revolutionized religion, w h o s e teachings o n e could

ting stillat a c o m p u t e r , for i n s t a n c e w i t h o u t losing any reli-

s u d d e n l y learn privately and at h o m e . By 1500, t h e r e were n i n e

gious devotion or flights of ecstasy.

million books in Europe, m o s t of t h e m religious works. Because

As fresh technologies b l o o m , w e s h o u l d expect existing

forms of w o r s h i p t o change dramatically and n e w religions to
emerge. We m a y t h i n k of religion as a conservative force resistant
to fad or change, b u t religions have always finessed t h e latest
technology. Each m a j o r step in t e c h n o l o g y has m u t a t e d o u r idea
of worship. Thirty to forty t h o u s a n d years ago, w h e n cave painting was a strange n e w idea, t h e C r o - M a g n o n s extended their idea
of w o r s h i p by depicting creatures and symbols o n cave walls.

of t h e p r i n t i n g press, t h e Bible could be mass-produced, b u t so

c o u l d n e w interpretations of it, such as M a r t i n Luther's. T h u s religion began to evolve at speed, w i t h n e w splinter groups, n e w
d o g m a . T h r o u g h t h e p r i n t e d word, evangelists could reach and
persuade multitudes. T h e invention of radio multiplied that power,
and quickly became a pulpit for S u n d a y - m o r n i n g sermons. W h e n
television swept America in t h e 1950s, it didn't take long for Billy
G r a h a m , Oral Roberts, and o t h e r s to broadcast their faith. So

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m a n y preachers n o w have taken to t h e airways t h a t we've h a d to

T h o u s a n d s of people debate religious d o g m a , read theological

coin t h e w o r d televangelism for t h e p h e n o m e n o n .

newspapers, and chat w i t h m e m b e r s of their faith online. Parish-

What's next? G o d o n t h e I n t e r n e t . O n e can attend t h e First

ioners expect their churches to be u p - t o - d a t e , offering counsel

C y b e r c h u r c h o f t h e Scientific G o d , t h e Aquarian Concepts C o m -

appropriate t o t h e technological era w e live in. T h e r e aren't

m u n i t y Divine N e w Order G o v e r n m e n t , t h e First Internet C h u r c h

m a n y places w h e r e t h e d e v o u t of different faiths can m i n g l e in

of All, and h u n d r e d s of Protestant d e n o m i n a t i o n s . T h e r e is a web-

safety, discover similarities, and discuss conflicts.

site devoted to t h e Celtic religion, to M o r m o n i s m , to Jainism, and

Using t h e web to proselytize, t h e t h i r t y - n i n e m e m b e r s of

Tibetan Buddhism, and several for Asatru (if y o u wish to w o r s h i p

t h e Heaven's Gate g r o u p believed t h a t a spaceship, hiding behind

T h o r and o t h e r Norse gods). Most surprising of all, perhaps, is

t h e Hale-Bopp c o m e t , awaited their attendance. N o t r a n s p o r t e r

finding an A m i s h websiteI t h o u g h t t h e A m i s h vigorously es-

beams w o u l d carry t h e m aloft; t h e y h a d to die o u t of their m o r t a l

chewed technology. Also represented is s h a m a n i s m , Druidism,

flesh t o be resurrected a m o n g angelic aliens. "Hale-Bopp's ap-

Voodoo, and paganism. Apparently, 500 people each day visit t h e

p r o a c h is t h e m a r k e r we've been waiting for," t h e y explained o n

pantheist website. Those w h o believe in Gaia can join o t h e r s in

their website. "We fully desire, expect and look forward to board-

worship, as can ecospiritualists. T h e r e are t w o websites for Cao

ing a spacecraft from t h e Next Level very soon." According t o

Daiism, a curious Vietnamese sect t h a t for s o m e reason worships

their gospel, Christ was an extraterrestrial:

novelist Victor H u g o as saint. M a n y individuals have established

their o w n websites, to celebrate their personal holiness and look

Two thousand years ago . . . upon instruction, a member

for followers. As Robert Wright discovered, surfing t h e w e b for

of the Kingdom of Heaven then left behind His body in that

Time, o n e can

Next Level. . . and moved into (or incarnated into) an adult

h u m a n body (or "vehicle") that had been "prepped" for

. . . enroll in the "Starseed Schools of Melchizedek" and per-

this particular task. The body that was chosen was called

haps arrange a "personal transmission" with "Gabriel of Se-

Jesus. . . . Remember, the One who was incarnated in Jesus

dona." Gabriel, by the way, carries the endorsement of the

was sent for one purpose only, to say, "If you want to go to

"head administrator of our universe" (the two of them "fuse"

Heaven, I can take you through that gateit requires every-

once a month) and, moreover, is "the only morontia coun-

thing of you."

selor/soul surgeon on Urantia (Earth) at his level of healing

ability." . . . This website also offers you the chance to pay

As exotic as s o m e of these web faiths m a y sound, o n e has to

money for sacred texts, learn about "Ascension Science,"

r e m e m b e r t h a t all religions began as cults. Practiced in secret,

even explore the "Deoatomic body;" or "tron therapy. . ."

w i t h a strong e l e m e n t of danger, t h e y included special rites and

ceremonies, and usually required c o s t u m e s and music, s o m e -

T h e Vatican has a website (you can E-mail t h e pope, a great fan of

times dance. Followers t u r n e d to t h e m for a sense of c o m m u n i t y

t h e Internet), as do m a n y convents and monasteries, including

and order, t r a n s c e n d e n c e and t r u t h , an escape from daily r o u -

those supposedly in desert isolation. G o d has 410,000 online sites.

tine. T h e y offered glorious o p p o r t u n i t i e s for deep play. T h u s n e w

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religions are b o u n d to emerge, and, if they're relevant and p o p u -

for t h e brain. S e v e n t e e n t h - c e n t u r y p h i l o s o p h e r R e n e Descartes

lar e n o u g h , they'll b e c o m e respectable. Ecospirituality is o n t h e

argued t h a t t h e body h a d m a n y parts b u t t h e m i n d was w h o l e

verge of doing t h a t right now. M o s t religions t h a t emphasize

and separate. W h e n I was a teen, I tried t o d r a w w h a t it looked like

transcendence separate t h e idea of soiled body and clean spirit.

staring o u t at t h e world t h r o u g h m y eyes, w i t h a slight blur of

T h e y c o m p e l believers to regard life o n Earth as foul, t e m p o r a r y ,

cheek here, an edge of nose there. I never could quite c a p t u r e it,

and sinful t o enjoy. M a n y religions r e p u d i a t e Earth, urging t h e

b u t I t h i n k m o s t people have experienced t h a t same sensation,

faithful n o t t o grow attached to it b u t to keep their sights o n

t h e illusion t h a t their m i n d is locked u p inside a fragile body. I say

Heaven. "The world is a m a r k e t p l a c e w e visit, t h e o t h e r w o r l d is

illusion, because w h a t w e call mind doesn't dwell entirely in t h e

h o m e , " r u n s a Yoruba proverb from Nigeria. According to t h e

brain, b u t travels t h e body o n a caravan of h o r m o n e s and e n -

Bible, Earth's resources w e r e designed for h u m a n exploitation. If

zymes. We can p i c t u r e an o p e r a t o r and w h a t he operates, so we

Earth is m e r e l y a shabby waiting r o o m , w h y b o t h e r p r o t e c t i n g it?

p i c t u r e t h e brain operating t h e body like a m a r i o n e t t e , b u t of

Wendell Berry w a r n s w h e r e such a schism will lead us:

course it isn't so. T h e brain is a dark, silent world filled w i t h lifesaving illusions. A n editorial in New Scientist offers this one:

By dividing body and soul, we divide both from all else. We

thus condemn ourselves to a loneliness for which the only

A tennis player, for example, experiences hitting a ball long

compensation is violenceagainst other creatures, against

after the ball has flown back over the net, and a driver's emer-

the earth, against ourselves.

gency stop begins before conscious apprehension ofthe danger. Our brains keep the illusion of conscious control alive

Religions t h a t encourage a loss of self are, in essence, e n c o u r a g i n g

only by constantly "backdating" the chain of events so that

an acceptance of death d u r i n g life, a conscious as-if of death, a re-

they make sense.

lief from t h e struggles of self.

As jarring as Heaven's Gate's d e m o t i n g t h e body to a "vehi-

M e m o r y adds to t h e m o m e n t and m a k e s it seem larger t h a n

cle" m a y seem, it's n o t new. N o r is perceiving t h e b o d y as a m e r e

w h e n it h a p p e n e d , m o r e meaningful or p o i g n a n t . S o m e say t h a t

vessel for t h e soul. This n o t i o n o f t h e body as a b o t t l e in w h i c h

happiness is a p h a n t o m of m e m o r y , and t h e only paradise a re-

consciousness is trapped like a genie appears in so m a n y works

m e m b e r e d one. Certain m e m o r i e s can h u r t at first and t h e n

of art, and is central to so m a n y philosophies a n d religions, t h a t

slowly grow, accrete, provide o n e w i t h a m o r a l and spiritual sub-

it's clearly a fantastic s e n s o r y illusion all h u m a n s share. As

stance, a wish to c o n t i n u e living.

Csikszentmihalyi points o u t , it's a practical view: "From an evo-

M a n y religions teach t h a t a holy spirit dwells in a profane

lutionary standpoint, t h e self is a very chancy m u t a t i o n . Its ad-

body. If Heaven is w h a t m a t t e r s , w h y enjoy being alive? If t h e

vantages are clear: By acting as a clutch b e t w e e n p r o g r a m m e d

body is only a container, w h y respect it? S u c h teachings are

instructions and adaptive behaviors, it e n o r m o u s l y increases t h e

usually a c c o m p a n i e d by ideas of pure and impure. W h a t is i m p u r e

possibilities of a fit between t h e two." However, t h e illusion can

m u s t be c l e a n s e d t h a t creates a need for further d o g m a , ritual,

feel strange. Samuel Beckett described t h e body as a w h e e l b a r r o w

and religious leaders. This a t t i t u d e m a y rely in p a r t o n a fear of

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w o m e n ' s sexuality. A l t h o u g h w o m e n originally d o m i n a t e d all

if w e consider only t h e t h r e e m a j o r m o n o t h e i s t i c religions, Ju-

t h r e e o f t h e m o n o t h e i s t i c religions, t h e y quickly lost their status

daism, Christianity, and Islam, m o s t people believe in t h e exis-

and in t i m e were declared dirty. T h e origin of o u r w o r d bad is t h e

tence of, and worship, an o t h e r w o r l d l y entity. If you demystify a

Old English w o r d baeddel, w h i c h m e a n t a n effeminate m a n . Being

religious creed, t h e n what's left? People n e e d t o feel t h e r e is s o m e -

b o r n of w o m a n , t h r o u g h w o m e n ' s genitals, was t h o u g h t t o cor-

t h i n g greater t h a n self, s o m e t h i n g answerable to, a sense of being

r u p t a m a n . To this day, m a l e initiation rites all over t h e world

m o n i t o r e d . O n e p u r p o s e of religion is to teach t h e p a r a m e t e r s of

(including fraternities and t h e military) usually require a m a n to

life in society and n a t u r e .

p u r g e himself of female c o n t a m i n a t i o n . W h y s u c h an emphasis

All games and religions i m p o s e an order o n t h e world, a cer-

o n t h e p o w e r of w o m e n t o seduce and defile m e n ? T h e toxic ver-

tain a t t i t u d e t h a t m u s t be adopted, ethical codes, rules of con-

sion of w o m a n , identified w i t h Eve, a fallen w o m a n w h o lured a

d u c t . Submission is always an e l e m e n t of s u c h devotion, b u t so is

m a n to his d o o m , a w o m a n w h o s e very n a m e sounds like t h e

t h e freedom to create, problem-solve in n e w ways, and take ac-

w o r d evil, appears repeatedly t h r o u g h o u t t h e Judeo-Christian

tion to help oneself or others. S o m e countries have tried to retain

tradition. Here's just o n e nasty example, from F a t h e r O d o n , t h e

t h e framework of religion, while replacing t h e role of god w i t h

abbot of C l u n y Abbey, in 1100, w h o wrote:

t h a t of state or m o t h e r l a n d . M a n y scientists a n d philosophers

have been rational atheists. Myself, I lean toward ecospiritualism,

Indeed, if men were endowed, like the lynxes of Boetia, with

b u t heaven k n o w s t h e r e are rabid folk in t h e e n v i r o n m e n t a l

the power of visual penetration and could see what there is

ranks, overly s o l e m n people w h o k n o w t o o m u c h w h a t n a t u r e is

beneath the skin, the mere sight of a woman would nauseate

for t o be able t o enjoy it. Religious a u t h o r i t y can be respected or

them: that feminine grace is only saburra, blood, humor,

i g n o r e d b u t b o t h attitudes seem t o attract extremists.

bile. Consider what is hidden in the nostrils, in the throat, in

Heaven's Gate was n o t alone in perceiving Hale-Bopp as a

the belly: filth everywhere. . . . How can we desire to hold in

messenger. Offering hallelujahs o n t h e Internet, a host of sects

our arms the bag of excrement itself?

w e l c o m e d t h e c o m e t as a heavenly sign. D e p e n d i n g o n t h e website, t h e c o m e t w o u l d change t h e course of history, offer a rendez-

T h e p u r e r e a l m is heaven, t h e i m p u r e is Earth, t h e c h u r c h is a sa-

vous w i t h extraterrestrials, signal t h e d e s t r u c t i o n of t h e world,

cred place c o n n e c t i n g t h e two. B u t w h e n a c h u r c h exists only o n

or herald t h e c o m i n g o f t h e Messiah. Carpe diem, "seize t h e day," is

t h e Internet, w h e r e is it located? W h a t rituals and ceremonies can

t h e u n s t a t e d m o t t o of all deep players. B u t for night-prowlers,

take place there? W h a t d o we m e a n by a virtual c o m m u n i t y ?

day-sleepers, bat-fanciers, and comet-trackers, carpe noctem m i g h t

Temples and c h u r c h e s have traditionally provided a concrete,

well be t h e battle cry.

physical place w h e r e people go t o socialize, offer aid, c o m f o r t o n e

a n o t h e r . N o w t h a t t h e sacred grove exists as a mass hallucination
h o v e r i n g in cyberspace, h o w will o u r idea of a c h u r c h change?

O n e evening, as I was stationary biking, headset o n and c o u n t r y

H o w can it n o u r i s h as it used to? O n t h e o t h e r h a n d , by rein-

music blaring, I heard a loud p o u n d i n g over t h e music. N o t

stalling t h e mysterious, m a y b e it will appeal t o m u l t i t u d e s . Even

a r o o f - p o u n d i n g as of raccoons, or a g r o u n d - p o u n d i n g as of

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205

pound-

poetry, we call t h e m tails. S o m e scientists believe t h a t life o n Earth

ing c o m i n g from eye level in front of m e . For a few m o m e n t s I felt

owes its origin to c o m e t s l a r g e snowballs t h e size of h o u s e s

a l a r m e d a n d puzzled, before I realized s o m e o n e was k n o c k i n g o n

which, over millions of years, rained d o w n u p o n o u r p l a n e t w i t h

t h e windows. Tearing off m y headset, I h u r r i e d t o p u l l back t h e

t h e building blocks of life, and e n o u g h w a t e r to form t h e oceans.

curtain, and saw m y neighbor, Persisbundled u p in coat, hat,

M o r e distant t h a n those, Hale-Bopp is a radiant bypasser.

earthquake, b u t a higher pitched, sharp,

fist-upon-glass

and m i t t e n s w a v i n g her a r m s and grinning. "COMET!" she

yelled.

"Just imagine," Persis said, "it's only twenty-five miles wide.

A n d 122 million miles from Earth." I've always relished Persis's

"I'll be right there!" I yelled back, and grabbed a hat, gloves,

elasticity. As a high-energy physicist, she happily studies t h e

l o n g coat, and a pair of binoculars before r u s h i n g outside t o climb

m i n u t e corridors of m a t t e r , w h e r e o n e is guided n o t by t h e parti-

into h e r car. B u n d l e d u p in t h e back seat, h e r ten-year-old,

cles themselves b u t by t h e trails t h e y leave. Yet she's just as en-

Cornelia, was looking excited, despite being in t h e second week of

thusiastic a b o u t large, blusteringly physical comets.

pneumonia.
"Sorry t o startle you," Persis said, "but t h e sky s u d d e n l y
cleared and I realized t h e c o m e t was going to be perfectly visible
right now. I t h o u g h t w e s h o u l d seize t h e m o m e n t . "

" H o w is t h a t possible," I m u s e d , "to be so small, so far away,

and yet streak across t h e sky w i t h such a brilliant light and dia p h a n o u s tail? H o w can we see it?"
N e i t h e r p o e t n o r physicist knew. B u t Cornelia said she

"Okay." Carpe noctem. She was right. T h e star-encrusted sky

d r e a m e d of riding o n t h e c o m e t , as if it w e r e an icy w h i t e p o n y

l o o m e d overhead, clear and cold w i t h t h e b o t t o m lip of t h e

w i t h a long tail. She seemed t o be r u b b i n g h e r sleepy eyes hard,

m o o n bright e n o u g h to s h o w e r light over t h e p u d d l e d stars

b u t no, she was just focusing t h e binoculars. "Or m a y b e a dol-

of t h e Pleiades, t h e tilted Dipper, a n d a h u g e e n s e m b l e of c o n -

phin," she added, imagining t h e dark sea of t h e sky, "or a u n i -

stellations. Even w i t h a n a k e d eye a n d t h r o u g h a car window,

corn." I s c a n n e d t h e heavens, b u t delphis was n o t yet visible.

t h e c o m e t was visible as a c o t t o n y blur low o n t h e h o r i z o n near

I could u n d e r s t a n d t h e pony's appeal, and t h e dolphin's, b u t

Cassiopeia. B u t soon w e w e r e far from t h e t o w n lights and driv-

h o w did o u r c u l t u r e start playing so obsessively w i t h t h e idea of

ing into t h e loam-darkness of t h e farm night. T u r n i n g u p a side

unicorns?

road, w e drove to a hilltop overlooking t h e lake, w h i c h glittered

like a p o o l of bubbling oil in t h e m o o n dazzle.

In t h e fifth c e n t u r y B.C., Ctesias of Cnidus, a Greek physician

t o t h e Persian kings Artaxerxes II and Darius II, told of animals

"Wow! Look at t h a t comet!" Cornelia cried, p o i n t i n g t o t h e

t h a t have "a h o r n in t h e m i d d l e o f t h e forehead"; p o w d e r e d , t h e

rare visitor from t h e deep freeze of space. Silver tail swept back by

h o r n could m a k e o n e " i m m u n e to poison." U n i c o r n s w e r e al-

t h e solar wind, it was a picture-perfect c o m e t , a big frozen dirt

ready legendary in China, ever since a particularly elegant and

ball, t h e stuff of a s t r o n o m y textbooks. F o r m e d a b o u t four million

o t h e r w o r l d l y o n e supposedly walked t h r o u g h t h e palace of E m -

years ago w i t h t h e s u n and planets, Hale-Bopp cruises at 43,000

p e r o r H u a n g - t i in 2697 B.C. T h r o u g h o u t t h e w e s t e r n world, u n i -

miles an h o u r t h r o u g h t h e d i s t a n t reaches of t h e solar system.

c o r n s a d o r n e d tapestries, carvings, paintings, and jewelry. Its

A p p r o a c h i n g Earth, it develops a few sparkling fountains as its

magical h o r n was r e p u t e d to c u r e m o s t illnesses, and, m o r e i m -

w a t e r vapor, dust, a n d gases fume in t h e s u n . Because w e live by

p o r t a n t for kings a n d queens, detect a n d neutralize poison. So

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royalty often h a d eating utensils m a d e of carved " u n i c o r n h o r n . "

cling! From these days dates a new constellation, the thir-

W h e n C a t h e r i n e de Medicis b e c a m e engaged to t h e d a u p h i n of

teenth group of stars, included forever in the zodiac and re-

France, Pope C l e m e n t VII gave h i m a gold-bedecked u n i c o r n

splendent since then in the firmament of our nights: THE

h o r n as a w e d d i n g present, and, presumably, as a h i n t a b o u t deal-

CYCLIST.

207

ing with Catherine. National debts could be paid off w i t h u n i c o r n

h o r n s . Ivan t h e Terrible b o u g h t o n e h o r n for a small f o r t u n e and

What would t h e Satawal navigators m a k e of this comet? I wondered.

m a d e it his "staffe imperiall." T h e h o r n itself was n o t a fabulist's

Hove thinking about such things. Oftentimes, as they age, peo-

d r e a m . S o m e t h i n g real was b o u g h t and sold. By all accounts, t h e

ple shift s o m e of their risk-taking from t h e physical to t h e mental.

u n i c o r n h o r n was pale, long, a n d tapered, twisting i n t o a helical

Risk a n d challenge still a t t r a c t m e , b u t t h e playing field is c h a n g -

spiral. So magical and mysterious was its origin t h a t Leonardo

ing. These days, I often e n t e r t h e high plateau t h a t A b r a h a m H.

da Vinci, in his treatise o n catching unicorns, suggested using

Maslow celebrates, w h e r e o n e feels t h e r a p t u r e of witnessing and

a virgin as bait. But by t h e e n d o f t h e sixteenth century, w h e n arc-

appreciating.

tic exploration flourished, explorers discovered t h e t r u t h , a b o u t

As w e get older, there's only so m u c h novelty, surprise, and

u n i c o r n s . Narwhals, w h i c h live in arctic regions, g r o w long, ta-

p u r e adrenaline r u s h t h e b o d y can stand. Peak m o m e n t s of deep

pered, spiraling tusks t h a t exactly fit t h e description of u n i c o r n

play are explosive, and can lead to a violent sense of d e a t h and re-

h o r n s . They were m o s t likely h u n t e d by Inuits and traded to

birth. Being s h a k e n to t h e core by s u d d e n ecstasy is hard on t h e

Vikings, w h o merchandised t h e m w i t h great savvy and secrecy.

n e r v o u s system. As t h e y m a t u r e and age, risk-takers are less

C r e a t u r e s of powerful m y t h , t h e y w e r e a galloping m y s t e r y and

likely t o p u r s u e s u c h steep thrills. Instead, t h e y m a y feel " t h e less

as o t h e r w o r l d l y as comets.

intense plateau-experience," w h i c h "is m o r e often experienced

Ever since t h e Industrial Revolution, o u r gods and m y t h i c

as p u r e e n j o y m e n t and happiness, as, let's say, a m o t h e r sitting

creatures have t e n d e d t o be technological. Looking u p into t h e

quietly looking, by t h e h o u r , at h e r baby playing, and marveling,

arc of C o r o n a Borealis ( t h e C r o w n ) , I smiled hugely as I spotted

w o n d e r i n g , philosophizing, n o t quite believing." Transcendence

a faint bike and rider pedaling toward t h e N o r t h Star. It was Pol-

d o e s n ' t require a bobsled r u n o r scaling Everest, it d o e s n ' t require

ish novelist B r u n o Schulz w h o first christened this constellation

a single, orgasmic, violently d r a m a t i c event. As Maslow r e m i n d s

in The Street of Crocodiles (1940), celebrating t h e universal appeal of

us, t h e r e is also t h e rich play o f t h e high plateau "where o n e can

cycling:

stay ' t u r n e d on,' " t h e r e a l m of e m p e r o r p e n g u i n s and stargazing.

B u t o n e does n e e d t o invite deep play into one's life. A l u n c h t i m e

Oh, stellar arena of night, scarred by the evolutions, spirals

bike ride or violin sonata can be intense e n o u g h . For years, I

and leaps of those nimble riders; oh, cycloids and epi-cycloids

g a m b o l e d from o n e a d v e n t u r e t o a n o t h e r , s o m e dangerous, all

executed in inspiration along the diagonals of the sky, amid

soul-stirring. N o w I ' m less i m p e t u o u s s k i r t i n g death and being

lost wire spokes, hoops shed with indifference, to reach the

sidelined by injuries will result in t h a t b u t I save plenty of t i m e

bright goal denuded, with nothing but the pure idea of cy-

for deep play, w h o s e spellbinding clarity I relish.

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209

"See t h e unicorn?" I asked Cornelia, p o i n t i n g o u t t h e c o n -

in t h e idea of t r a n s p o r t a t i o n , c o m m u n i c a t i o n , education, art, sci-

stellation. She looked politely, b u t h e r m i n d was o n t h e once-in-

ence, medicine. After all, w e only began c o n q u e r i n g diseases a

four-millennia c o m e t .

c e n t u r y ago.

Hale-Bopp was entering t h e p l a n e o f t h e planets from a right

S o m e t i m e s I feel a vague sadness I can't t o u c h or n a m e . I

angle, slicing t h r o u g h o u r solar system. "Once every four t h o u -

carry it like a rod of light t u c k e d u n d e r t h e calf muscle. W h e n I

sand years," Persis said in a m a z e m e n t . "Where will t h e e a r t h be

realize t h a t I w o n ' t be a r o u n d for t h e c o m e t ' s n e x t passage, so

t h e n e x t t i m e t h e c o m e t visits? M u c h of w h a t w e associate w i t h

m a n y sadnesses fill m y heart, fill it w i t h a grief b o t h ontological

civilization h a p p e n e d in t h e past four t h o u s a n d years."

a n d particular. Curiosity a b o u t t h e f u t u r e plagues m e , b u t I will

I suppose in t h e scope of cosmic time, four m i l l e n n i a is a

n e v e r again see this c o m e t blaze across t h e sky. W h a t will t h e

flicker, b u t w h e n I p i c t u r e t h e c o m e t ' s last t o u r of Earth, I ' m

c o m e t witness in four t h o u s a n d m o r e years? Will Earth exist? Will

s t r u c k by h o w different t h e p l a n e t w o u l d have seemed b e t w e e n

h u m a n s ? W h a t t r u t h s will t h e y have learned? Sixty t h o u s a n d

visits. With each r e t u r n , it briefly spotlights Earth and o n e chap-

people are being b o r n from d a w n t o d u s k each day. Soon t h e

ter in t h e long chronicle of h u m a n endeavor. S o m e have c o m -

e a r t h will n o t be able t o s u p p o r t its p o p u l a t i o n . W h e r e will t h e y

pared Hale-Bopp to a t i m e capsule, a p e n d u l u m , a m e t r o n o m e ,

live? W h a t will t h e y eat and drink? Will beef, chicken, fish, and

t h e rings o n an ancient sequoia, a searchlight, "snapshots of

o t h e r corpse food be regarded as taboo? H o w will t h e y find fuel t o

celestial seasonsancient yesterdays, a distant t o m o r r o w . " F o u r

keep w a r m ? Will t h e y a b a n d o n Earth's surface, as A r t h u r C.

t h o u s a n d t w o h u n d r e d years ago, Earth was a dark p l a n e t w i t h -

Clarke predicts in 3001, and build orbital cities fed by elevators

o u t its now-familiar encrustations of city lights. T h e Egyptian

t o w e r i n g u p from t h e planet? W h a t will t h e y worship? Equally

pyramids were only four h u n d r e d years old, t h e p l o w was high

i m p o r t a n t : h o w will t h e y play? For, as Ovid w r o t e millennia ago:

t e c h n o l o g y in Europe, t h e Incas, Aztecs, and Mayans didn't exist.

"In o u r play w e reveal w h a t kind of people w e are." This becomes

Neither did t h e idea o f t h e city. T h e c o m e t ' s appearance probably

especially t r u e in o u r m o m e n t s of deepest p l a y w h i c h is n o t

caused havoc o n Earth. Regarded as d o o m stars, c o m e t s usually

always free of anxiety, b u t nonetheless great fun. Visionary, ab-

foretold c h a n g e and disaster. Indeed, t h e w o r d disaster comes from

sorbing, ecstatic, extraordinary, deep play rapidly can b e c o m e re-

t h e Latin for "bad star." W h e n c o m e t s appeared mysteriously

w a r d i n g and healing, or dangerously addictive. H u m a n n a t u r e

t o smear light across t h e heavens, it m e a n t t h e gods w e r e angry,

being w h a t it is, t h a t will never change. O u r daily routines t e n d t o

a n d so wars w e r e waged, e m p i r e s fell, r u l e r s died. B o t h C h a r l e -

be h a p h a z a r d and filled w i t h work, chores, and r e q u i r e m e n t s .

magne's d e a t h and Julius Caesar's w e r e b l a m e d o n comets.

H o w often d o w e shed all obligations and feel fully alive, freed

With this n e w visit, t h e e a r t h is lit like a sparkling jewel.

from t h e identity w e nonetheless cherish, as w e use all o u r senses

T h e r e seem to be as m a n y constellations o n t h e g r o u n d as in t h e

and b e c o m e c o m p l e t e l y o p e n to experience? Rarely. "We are

sky. Ignorance and u n h a p p i n e s s still rampage, h u m a n s and o t h e r

vaguely w r e t c h e d , " Walter Kerr writes in The Decline of Pleasure,

animals still struggle for survival, lovers quake and y e a r n as t h e y

"because w e are leading half-lives, half-heartedly, and w i t h only

always did. B u t w h a t a c h a n g e in t h e c o m p l e x i o n of h u m a n life,

one-half of o u r m i n d s actively engaged in m a k i n g contact with

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t h e universe about us." W h e n w e allow ourselves to reach t h e

their w o r l d still be packed w i t h mysteries. May t h e y still grow

pinnacles of deep play, we b e c o m e fully available t o t h e w o r l d and

giddy o n t h e eve of a great a d v e n t u r e . May t h e y b e c o m e m o r e re-

ourselves, o u t of context, beyond comparison, and in h a r m o n y

sponsible t o o n e a n o t h e r and t o t h e p l a n e t . May t h e y keep their

w i t h life for a few glorious m o m e n t s . Even w h e n w e climb d o w n

taste for t h e renegade. May t h e y n e v e r lose their sense of i n n o -

from those heights, w e carry w i t h us s o m e valuable skills and

cence and w o n d e r . May t h e y live t o chase brash and astonishing

insights. Deep play will always feel enthralling, b u t its details

dreams. May t h e y r e t u r n t o tell m e , if s u c h a t h i n g is possible, so

m a y c h a n g e as basic ideas like "control," " e n v i r o n m e n t , " "self,"

t h a t I can k n o w t h e answers t o a t h o u s a n d s c r u p u l o u s puzzles,

"body," "god," and countless o t h e r s w e n o w take for granted

begin to evolve.
Yes, I ' m sure civilizations will still evolve t h r o u g h play, or
r a t h e r as play, since t h a t seems to be a f u n d a m e n t a l m e c h a n i s m of
o u r h u m a n i t y . N e w religions will arise, n e w art forms, n e w ways
t o tantalize or jolt one's senses. Artists will c o n t i n u e t o reveal
h o w t h e world t o u c h e s us, h o w w e are linked t o t h e powerful
u n s e e n forces of n a t u r e . For deep play, people will need sacred
arenas, rules, t i m e limits, tension, exaltation, an o p e n n e s s t o risk,
and t h e freedom t o play. Of course, their versions of deep play
will explore n e w locales, n e w materials, n e w ways of evading t h e
grand concourse of society for a few r a p t u r o u s m o m e n t s .
B u t suppose paradise awaits us, as so m a n y tales f o r e t e l l
freedom from disease, crime, early death. In a transcendent world,
w h a t will b e c o m e of o u r passion for transcendence? As effervescent as t u r n - o f - t h e - c e n t u r y life s o m e t i m e s seems, w e live in t h e
dark ages. I d o n ' t suppose those w h o lived before us t h o u g h t of

^3C
,rr*?*r'ZZ~-'
r^Z-

themselves in t h e dark any m o r e t h a n w e do, b u t it's inevitable:

t h e m i r a c u l o u s advances of each n e w age t h r o w a s h a d o w u p o n
t h e previous one. W h a t discoveries, fascinations, a n d crazes w e
will miss. I ache to see t h a t future Earth, to k n o w t h e t r i u m p h s
and struggles of those distant people, w h o will have o t h e r worlds
t o conquer, o t h e r nights t o cross.
There's a tradition of wishing o n a falling star, b u t w h a t does
o n e wish o n a comet? For t h o s e future residents of Earth: m a y

.j*^**

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h e a r of w h o l e civilizations t h a t b l o o m e d a n d vanished, learn

w h a t travel to o t h e r solar systems has revealed, and b e h o l d t h e
marvels t h a t arose while I was gone. If that's n o t possible, t h e n I
will have t o m a k e d o w i t h t h e p l a y g r o u n d s of mortality, a n d
h o p e t h a t at t h e e n d of m y life I can say simply, wholeheartedly,
t h a t it was grace e n o u g h t o be b o r n and live.

Life is the game that must be played . . .

Edwin Arlington Robinson,
"Ballade by the Fire"

S e l e c t e d

'Bibliography

a n d

Notes

EPIGRAPH

vii "man is made God's plaything . ..": E. B. England, ed., Laws (New York:
Longmans, Green & Co., 1921), pp. 8034. Cf. also p. 685.

CHAPTER ONE

Deep Play
3 "It is an activity ...": Johan Huizinga, Homo Ludens (Boston: The Beacon
Press, 1955), p. 132.
5 "Even crows play. . ..": Jane E. Brody, "The Common Crow, Too Close
for Comfort," The New York Times, May 27,1997, pp. CI, C6.
5 "I sat one summer evening ...": Wendell Berry, "The Body and the
Earth:" in Recollected Essays, 19651980 (San Francisco: North Point Press,
1981), p. 112.
6 Play "creates order ...": Huizinga, p. 10.
9 "One thinks of Tolstoy ...": Peter Marin, "Border Tribes," Coevolution
Quarterly, quoted in Rob Schultheis, Bone Games (New York: Breakaway
Books, 1996), p. 170.
11 "[t]he rules of warfare .. .": Huizinga, p. 173.
13 Young Masai men: James A. Swan, "Moranism," in Sacred Places (Santa Fe:
Bear and Company, 1990), p. 32.
13 Native Americans have often used . . . : Schultheis, p. 125.
14 "Psychotherapy takes place ...": D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality (New
York: Routledge, 1982), p. 38.
14 British therapist... : Robin Skynner, "Squaring the Family Circle," Ob^
server Magazine (London), February 14,1988, pp. 6062.
17 D. E. Berlyne, Conflict, Arousal, and Curiosity (New York: McGraw-Hill,
1960), p. 107.

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SELECTED

BIBLIOGRAPHY

AND

NOTES

17 Mihaly; Csikszentmihalyi, ed., and Isabella Selega Csikzentmihalyi, Optimal Experiences (New York: Cambridge University Press, 1995).
17 Karl Groos, The Play of Man (New York: Appleton, 1901).
18 "such customs must be rooted ...": Huizinga, pp. 2526.
18 "the stakes are so high ...": Jeremy Bentham, quoted in A. Alvarez, Feeding the Rat (New York: Atlantic Monthly Press, 1988), p. 30.
19 Phyllis Greenacre, "Studies in Creativity," in Emotional Growth, vol. 2 (New
York: International University Press, 1971), pp. 399615.
19 "Tonight the moon is invisible ...": Diane Ackerman, The Moon by Whale
Light (New York: Random House: 1991), p. xiv.
21 "It isn't that I find danger ...": Diane Ackerman, On Extended Wings (New
York: Atheneum, 1985), p. 8.
23 Deep time: Sven Birkerts also uses the expression "deep time" in The
Gutenberg Elegies: The Fate of Reading in an Electronic Age (New York: Fawcett
Columbine, 1994), p. 75.
24 "One stands on the threshold . ..": Patsy Neal, Sports and Identity (Philadelphia: Dorrance and Co., Inc., 1972), pp. 90,166-67.
25 "The person I became on Neva...": Schultheis, p. 12.
25 "messages of importance ...": Charles Lindbergh, The Spirit of St. Louis,
quoted in ibid., p. 19.
25 "there was no anxiety ...": Albert von St. Gallen Heim, Remarks on Fatal
Falls, quoted in ibid., p. 18.
26 "You feel a calmness ...": Malcolm Smith, quoted in Michael Murphy,
The Psychic Side of Sports (Reading, MA:, Addison-Wesley, 1978), p. 14.

C H A P T E R TWO

At-One-Ment
27 "The bicycle, the bicycle surely ...": Christopher Morley, The Romany
Stain (New York: Doubleday, 1926), p. 42.
29 "The evil ofthe action ...": Rudolf Otto, The Idea ofthe Holy (New York:
Oxford University Press, 1923), p. 55.
31 "it amounts to a ritual ...": Benjamin DeMott, "An Unprofessional
Eye .. . Suspended Youth," American Scholar, vol. 32 (Winter 196263), pp.
107-112.
32 "The flesh becomes light...": Isadora Duncan, The Art ofthe Dance (New
York: Theatre Arts, 1928), p. 51.
32 "When she danced ...": ibid., p. 23.
32 "they make use of red-hot irons .. .": John Porter Brown, Danishes: Or
Oriental Spiritualism, 2d ed. (London: Frank Cass Co., 1968), p. 281.

SELECTED

BIBLIOGRAPHY

AND

NOTES

217

37 Atop Everest...: footnote in Jon Krakauer, Into Thin Air (New York: Villard Books, 1997), p. 128.
46 "To halt and hang...": Jacques-Yves Cousteau with Frederic Dumas, The
Silent World (New York: Harper and Row, 1958), p. 6.
46 In Shark Bay . . . : dolphin study reported by Rachel Smolker, Ethology,
vol. 103, (1997), p. 454.

CHAPTER THREE

Sacred Places
49 "There are no more deserts ...": Albert Camus, Lyrical and Critical Essays
(New York: Vintage Books, 1970), p. 109.
49 "The perfect stillness ...": William James, The Varieties of Religious Experience
(Boston: Mentor Books, 1902), p. 57.
50 "Regardless ofthe words . ..": Bruce Chatwin, The Songlines (New York:
Penguin USA, 1987), p. 108.
51 "Aborigines have a special connection ...": Gulawarrwuy Yunupingu
and Silas Roberts, chairmen ofthe Northern Land Council, statement in
IWGIA (International Work Group for Indigenous Affairs), Document
No. 54, Land Rights Now (Copenhagen: IWGIA Publications, 1967), p. 4.
53 "How can Mr. Court. . .": Fred Forbes, chairman ofthe Ngaanyatjara
Council, in Daniel Vachon and Philip Toyne, "Mining and the Challenge of Land Rights," in Peterson and Langton, Aborigines, Land and
Land Rights (Canberra: Australian Institute of Aboriginal Studies, 1983),
p. 307.
53 The same is true . . . : a more detailed account ofthe Lascaux cave paintings may be found in Diane Ackerman, A Natural History of Love (New
York: Random House, Inc., 1994), pp. 216-17.
55 And what ofthe painters?: For more about what the lives of those ancestors may have been like, especially their ability to love, see the final pages
of Ackerman, A Natural History of Love.
57 In the Black Hills . . . : for references to the Lakotas in sacred meadows
and to the Chumash Indians, see Swan, p. 21.
62 "[t]he feeling of it...": Otto, p. 12.
64 "I thought I had never been ...": Laurens van der Post, Journey into Russia
(New York: William Morrow, 1964) p. 229.
64 The Lakota Indians...: The Lakota Indian word skanagoah ("the still, electrifying awareness one experiences in the deep woods"Pam Colorado),
from New Voices from the Longhouse, ed. Joseph Bruchac ( Greenfield Center,
NY: Greenfield Review Press, 1989), p. 77.

218

SELECTED

BIBLIOGRAPHY

AND

NOTES

73 "The great lesson from the true mystics . ..:" Abraham H. Maslow, Religions, Values, and Peak Experiences (New York: Viking, 1970), p. 28.
79 "The mountains, each inside the other .. .": George Seferis, A Poet's Journal, trans. Athan Angnostopoulos (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University
Press, 1974), p. 28.

SELECTED

BIBLIOGRAPHY

NOTES

2/9

110 I remember when I . . . : Diane Ackerman, The Planets: A Cosmic Pastoral

(New York: William Morrow & Co., 1976).
114 "Above the comforts .. .": Krakauer, p. 136.
115 "they have wagered . . .": Camus, p. 81.
115 "a land where everything. ..": ibid., p. 86.

CHAPTER FOUR

C H A P T E R SIX

Into the Death Zone

Creating Minds

81 "These games will be the death of me yet. . .": Schultheis, p. 41.

84 "Sport is not an escape . ..": A. Guttman, quoted in Csikszentmihalyi,
p. 53.
87 "A bicycle also is an amulet...": Morley, p. 172.
89 Steve McKinney . . . : The information on Steve McKinney is drawn in
part from his obituary, "Life of Velocity," by Peter Sheldon, Outside, February 1991, p. 20, and from Murphy, The Psychic Side ofSports.
90 Two independent studies . . . : "Gene Tied to Excitable Personality," Science News, vol. 149, January 6, 1996, p. 4. This article also cites the work of
Robert Cloninger of Washington University School of Medicine in St.
Louis.
92 "Only he who has attained the summit. . .": Marco Pallis, The Way and the
Mountain, p. 32, quoted in T. C. McLuhan, The Way ofthe Earth (New York:
Simon & Schuster, 1994), pp. 250-51.
93 "Walking on water ...": Jack Kerouac, quoted in Schultheis, p. 71.
96 "If this stillness ...": Yukio Mishima, Sun and Steel (Palo Alto, CA: Kodansha
International, 1970), pp. 12.

AND

133 "When the spirits are low . ..": Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Memories and
Aventures (Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1924), p. 210.
133 "the bicycle is the noblest invention . . .": William Saroyan, The Bicycle
Rider in Beverly Hills (New York: Ballantine Books, 1952), p. 53.
134 "his eternal friend . ..": Henry Miller, "My Bike & Other Friends," Book of
Friends, Vol. 2 (Santa Barbara, CA: Capra Press, 1978), pp. 105-110.
134 "A few people.. .": Alfred Jarry, "The Passion Considered as an Uphill Bicycle Race" (1900), in Roger Shattuck and Simon Watson, eds., The Selected Works of AlfredJarry (New York: Grove Press, 1965), np.
A French author and physician, Jarry invented "Pataphysics," which
he described as a realm far beyond metaphysics that justified his carrying
a gun, drinking absinthe, and riding a Clermont Luxe bicycle, among
other curious habits.
135 "How can I convey. . . ?": O'Brien, p. 72.
137 One example of that phenomenon . . .: Magic Eye doors exist because
researchers figured out how the eyes of crabs worked, and were able to
construct mechanical ones that could be used for doors.

C H A P T E R FIVE

The Gospel According to This Moment

103 "people who spend . . .": Flann O'Brien, The Third Policeman (New York:
New American Library, 1967), p. 48.
104 "In play we see .. . ": The Reverend Dr. Douglas J. Green, "Praying as
Playing," sermon delivered at the First Congregational Church, Ithaca,
NY, October 8,1995.
106 "The experience ofthe holy . . .": Maslow, pp. 3031.
108 "One ofthe reasons why religion ...": Karen Armstrong, A History of God
(New York: Ballantine Books, 1993), p. 4.
109 "School Prayer": Diane Ackerman, I Praise My Destroyer (New York: Random House, Inc., 1998), p. 3.

C H A P T E R SEVEN

The Ceremonies of Innocence

143 "We die containing a richness . . .": Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
(New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1992), p. 261.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Healing Power of Nature

155 "To have no consciousness . ..": Luigi Pirandello, "Sing the Epistle"
("Canta VEpistola"), trans. Frederick May (London and New York: Oxford
University Press, 1963), np.

220

SELECTED

BIBLIOGRAPHY

AND

NOTES

160 in a Zenlike trance . . . : In Bike Cult (New York: Four Walls, Eight Windows, 1995), David B. Perry has this to say about Buddhism and bicycles:
"To his followers, Buddha (c.563-483 B.C.) was the Wheel King who
rolled over the whole world with his footprints showing two bicycle-like
lotus wheels, and created the Wheel of Law, Truth and Life, with the
Round of Existence."
164 the Michaux Cycle Club . . .: Pryor Dodge, The Bicycle (New York: Flammarion/Abbeville, 1996), p. 155.
167 "The performance ofthe most informal...": Brother Joseph Keenan, in
Mardawn Wendt's "The Art of Taking Tea," Wombats News, August 1997, p. 3.
170 "The song-maker draws inspiration ...": This quote was taken from
pp. 17172, Vol. 10, The Kwakiutl, of Edward S. Curtis's twenty-volume
The North American Indian. This monumental work, which Curtis began in
1907 in Seattle and completed in 1930, set out to document, in words
and photoengravings taken from his glass-plate negatives, over eighty
tribes west of the Mississippi. It was partly financed by J. P. Morgan,
edited by Frederick Webb Hodge, and sponsored by President Theodore
Roosevelt, who also contributed an introduction to the series.

CHAPTER TEN

The Night of the Comet

189 "Some things turn me on . ..": Smoke Blanchard, quoted in Michael J.
Apter, The Dangerous Edge (New York: The Free Press/Macmillan, 1992),
p. 34.
189 "I grow less and less afraid ...": Colette, Earthly Paradise, ed. Robert Phelps
(New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1996), Part Six (1939-1954),
p. 501.
194 "while the blood is pounding ...": Yuri Vlasov in Robert Lipsyte, Sportsword (New York: Quadrangle Books/New York Times Book Company,
1975), p. 280.
195 "I liken running ...": Thaddeus Kostrubala, The Joy of Running (Philadelphia: J. B. Lippincott Co., 1975), p. 103.
195 "Games often create .. .": George I. Brown and Donald Gaynor, "Athletic Action as Creativity," Journal of Creative Behavior, vol. 1, no. 2 (1967), pp.
15552. Quoted in Murphy, The Psychic Side of Sports, p. 119.
195 "I'd liken it to a sense of reverie .. .": Arnold Palmer, Go for Broke (New
York: Simon & Schuster, 1973), p. 141.
198 "enroll in the 'Starseed Schools . . . ' ": Robert Wright, "Can Thor Make a
Comeback?," Time, December 16,1996, pp. 68-69.

SELECTED

BIBLIOGRAPHY

AND

NOTES

221

199 "Two thousand years ago ...": David A. Kaplan, "The Return of the
Great Comet," Newsweek, March 24,1997.
200 "By dividing body and soul...": Wendell Berry, "A Native Hill," in Recollected Essays, p, 112.
200 "From an evolutionary standpoint. ..": Csikszentmihalyi, p. 21.
201 "A tennis player ...": editorial in New Scientist, April 5,1997, p. 3.
202 "Indeed, if men were endowed . ..": Odon of Cluny, quoted in Jean-Paul
Sartre, Saint Genet, trans. Bernard Frechtman (New York: George Braziller,
1963), p. 78.
206 "Oh, stellar arena ...": Bruno Schulz, The Street of Crocodiles, trans. Celina
Wieniewska (New York: Penguin Books, 1977), p. 134.
208 "snapshots of celestial seasons...": Kaplan.

O o m e t h o u g h t s a b o u t t h e i m p o r t a n c e of poetry, ceremony,
and ecopsychology are loosely based o n essays entitled "The Value
of Poetry," "The Ceremonies of Innocence," and "The Healing
Power of N a t u r e , " w h i c h appeared in Victoria.
My interest in G a u g u i n led m e to visit t h e Marquesas and
write a b o u t t h e j o u r n e y for Travel-Holiday, while s o m e of m y m u s ings a b o u t t h e g r a n d e u r of t h e G r a n d C a n y o n first appeared in
Harvard Magazine.
T h e t w o s h o r t passages a b o u t ballooning and Symbion pandora
began as Op-Ed pieces for The New York Times.

T "

I n d e . '<x

advertising, 11,35,85-86, 164,179,184

see also painting
aircraft, 35,41,56
Artaxerxes II, King of Persia, 205
Art ofDance, The (Duncan), 32
piloting of, 10,13,14-15,88,90,95-96,
asceticism, xi, xii, 9,195
168-69
Assyrians, 56
albatrosses, 22,23
atheism, 104,203
altruism, 8,10,108,153
Amazon River, 47,154, 182
athletes, extreme, 13,26,29-30,89-90
American Heritage Dictionary ofthe English
atonement, 2830
Language, 3
Auden, W. H., 31
Amish, 198
Australian Aborigines, 13,47,50-53
amulets, 87,115
automobiles, 89,90,164
Anderson, Walter, 96
awe, 17,29,38,63,65,106
Anglo-Saxon language, 7-8
Ayers Rock, 50,53,57
animals, 3-7,22,39-^8,64,157-58
Aztecs, 36-37,56,208
endangered, 138,160
Bach, Johann Sebastian, 192,193
fertility and mating of, 5,40,180-81
hunting of, 91,206
ballooning, hot-air, 93-95
mythic, 38,54,205-6
baptism, 30
paintings of, 37-38,54-55,87
baseball, 6
play as survival training of, 4-6,24,26
basketball, 24-25,123
playing with, 39-44,46
beauty, 55,67,68,74
predatory, 15,46
Beckett, Samuel, 134,200-201
study of, ix-xiii, 13,41-44, 116, 160
Bentham, Jeremy, 18-19
Anne of Brittany, 146
Bergson, Henri, 58
Antarctica, ix-xiii, 19-20,91,151,158
Berlyne, D. E, 17
Anthoine, Mo, 18-19
Berry, Wendell, 5-6,200
Apache Indians, 58
Bhagavad Gita, 84
Aphrodite, 47
Bible, 197,200
Apollo, 47-^8
Bicycle Rider in Beverly Hills, The (Saroyan),
Archimedes, 16
134
architecture, 10,83, 186
bicycle riding, 5,27,31-34,85-87,103,
Arion, 47-48
112-14,116,127,133-36,141,160-69
Aristotle, 46
circular motions of, 32,34
Armstrong, Karen, 108
communing with nature while, 5,
art, 12,17,19,121-^2
32-34,60,117-18,135,161-64
literary works about, 133-35,2067
animals in, 37-38,54-56,57,87

226

INDEX

bicycle riding (cont.)

moments ofdeepplayin, 13, 32, 87, 113,
119,164
popularity of, 164-66
race, 87,161
social changes and, 16466
tandem, 164
wind, 168-69
as work, 85-87,161
Bicycle Wheel (Duchamp), 135
Bicycloid series (Rauschenberg), 135
Big Bang theory, 70
Biodiversity Preserve, 174, 182
birds, 67,151-52, 154,162, 174-75
flightless, 56
observation and study of, 5-6,33,56
play of, 5-6, 60
predatory, 15
sea, 22,23,77
birdsong, 50
Blackfoot Indians, 8
Black Hills of South Dakota, 57,61
Blanchard, Smoke, 189
body, 17,32,93,200-202
cleansing of, 29, 30
decoration of, 13,54
impact of horses on, 36-37
pleasures of, 16,17,25, 154, 161,209-10
strength of, 7,10-11,13,115,116
study of, 190-93
Bone Games (Schultheis), 25, 81
boredom, 3,5,38-39, 88, 114, 132
Boston Museum of Science, 66
Boston University, 124
boxing, 7, 10
brain:
chemical activity of, 9091
clamoring and chatter of, 12,56,9091
thinking and, 4,13, 26,73, 150, 201
brainwashing, 20
Brown, John Porter, 32
Buber, Martin, 164
Buddha, 25-26
Buddhism, 13,89,184-85,195,198
Cakes and Ale (Maugham), 135
calendars, 53, 159
calmness, 17,26,69,88,89
Calvinism, 114

Camus, Albert, 49, 115

cancer, 110,148-49
Capote, Truman, 127
Cardenas, Garcia Lopez de, 67
Carrasco, Jose L., 91
Catherine de Medicis, 206
cattle, 35, 54,140-41
ceremonies, 7,8,58,105, 142
see also initiation rites; religion
Challenger explosion, 97, 100
Chaplin, Victoria, 135
Charlemagne, 208
Chatwin, Bruce, 5051
Cherokee Indians, 62
Cherry-Garrard, Apsley, 91
children, 152
creativity of, 19,131-32
openness of, 19,20, 119
out of wedlock, 8, 47
play of, 4,8, 11, 12
study of, 14,19,29
China, 10,56,205
Chopin, Frederic, 192, 193
Christianity, 28,30,37,47, 197-98,202-3
Chumash Indians, 57
churches, 6, 26, 50,53,59,61,87,144,198,
202
civilization, 11, 83, 95,152,212
horses and, 3538
Clarke, Arthur C, 209
Clement VII, Pope, 206
Cloninger, Robert, 90
clubs, 21,26, 144, 145, 164,166
Coevolution Quarterly, 9
Colette, 189
color, 24,64,74, 77,136
deep play and, 174,187
in nature, xi, 17487
perception of, 175, 177, 186
symbolism of, 183-85
Colorado River, 62,65, 66,67,70,71
Columbus, Christopher, 56
Comanche Indians, 5859
competition:
business, 83,87
of good and evil forces, 910
testing skills in, 7,10-11,12
computers, 68, 110, 112, 190
EMI program for, 192-93

INDEX

virtual creations on, 190^-94

wordprocessing on, 35
see also Internet
consciousness, 22,68,69,130, 155
altered states of, 13,26,50, 55,62,106,
114,160-61,194-95
Cook, James, 75-76,79
Cope, David, 192
Cordyceps subsessilis, 138
Cornell University, 111, 138
Ornithology Laboratory of, 56
Cortes, Hernando, 36
costumes, 7,13,21, 199
courage, 7,8,9-10,35,49,83
courtrooms, 6,10
courtship, 4, 12,23,35-36
Cousteau, Jacques, 46
Crane, Stephen, 135
creativity, 13,17,19,26, 88,121^2,192-94
Crick, Francis, 131
crisis counseling, 1415, 118
Cro-Magnon people, 5455,61,196
Crow Indians, 13
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihalyi, 17,200
Ctesias of Cnidus, 205
curiosity, 23,92-93,96,126,138,139,150,209
cyclosporin, 138
Dahomeans, 37
"Daisy Bell," 164
dance, 7,17,32, 104, 135
danger, 7-S, 9, 12,21-22,81-101
Daniken, Erich von, 62
Darius II, King of Persia, 205
death, 10,129,191
fear of, 21
grief and, 148-49
premonitions of, 110
risking of, 10,25,26, 81-101, 207
rituals of, 144,148-49, 151
death wish, 89-90
Decline of Pleasure, The (Kerr), 209-10
decoration, 13, 17,54
deep play, 12-26, 104
beginning of, 26
challenge and discovery through, xii,
17,38-39,207
clarity and revelation in, xiii-, 24,62,89,
106,207

22 7

concentration and focus in, xiii, 9,

14-15,19-20,21,23,24,31,62-63,89,
194-96
extreme versions of, 13, 26, 2930,
81-101
group forms of, 1617
high stakes of, 18-19
mental habitat of, 14,16,20-26,56,174,
194-96
moods and varieties of, xiii, 1217,
194-96
need for, 154
opportunities for, xiii, 1216,11819
peak experiences of, 24-25,89, 207,210
private vs. public acts of, 84, 110
rapture and ecstasy of, 12,16-17,19,32,
72,110,207
replenishing and satisfying effects of,
xiii, 11, 17,24-26,38,79,118
ritual and, 144,147
sacred and holy elements of, 6,7,13,16,
17-18,26,31,48,49-79,210
simple play vs., 24, 193-94
see also play
Delphi, temple of, 50,57
DeMott, Benjamin, 31
Descartes, Rene, 201
deserts, 49,50,66,72,169
detachment, 194-95
discovery, 17,22, 26,79,124, 137-42
Dogen, 58
dogs, 3,28,35
dolphins, 4,16, 26,39-48,194,205
bottlenosed, 41
echolocation by, 42
intelligence of, 45,46
myth and, 46-^48
playing with, 41^44,48,60
river, 47
spotted, 40,41^5
Donne, John, 129
dopamine, 9091
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 133
Drake, Frank, 110
Dreaming, the, 5053
dreams, 13,16,40,58,61,138
offlightand floating, 16, 32, 46
drugs, 12,38,91, 158, 182
anticancer, 148, 154

228

INDEX

drugs (cent.)
hallucinogenic, 11112
immunosuppressant, 138
Duchamp, Marcel, 135
Duino Elegies (Rilke), 103
Duncan, Isadora, 32
Duncan, Margherita, 32
Diirer, Albrecht, 136
Durkheim, Emile, 16
Earth, 103, 107,112
day in the life of, 151-52
future of, 209,210-11
as Mother, 158-59
repudiation of, 200, 202,209
space view of, 100-^101
Earthly Paradise (Colette), 189
ecstasy, xiii, 12,15-17,20,22, 24, 25-26,31,
62-65,74,76,107, 207
Eiseley, Loren, 131
Eisner, Maria, 182
Eisner, Thomas, 139,177-78,181-83, 186
Elgar, Edward, 135
Elijah, 104
emotions, 9,46, 47, 55,62,74,140
poetic expression of, 12,123,124,132
emperor penguins, ix-xiii, 207
Empson, William, 16
Enchanted Rock, 58-61
English language, 89
English Patient, The (Ondaatje), 143
English Tourist Board, 50
enthusiasm, xiii, 3,26,38,96, 104,106,123
environmental protection, 158, 160, 162,
203
Epona, the White Mare, 37,61
Esalen, 195
ethical values, 8,203
Everest, Mount, 38,81-84,89,93,114,207
evil, 9-10,28-30,67,202
evolution, 26,66,72, 106,152-54,178,179,
193,200
play and, 4-5,11,17,24,38-39,94,210
exercise machines, 116
exhaustion, 13,26,44,114
exhilaration, 3,14-15,31,63-64,69
exploration, 13,14,17,26
expeditions of, 22,56-57,66,67,75-79,
91,114

space, 96-100
voyages of, 5657,75-78
extraterrestrials, 46,62, 199,203
fair play, 11
families, 33,36,73,94,152-53
Fantastic Voyage, 190-91
Farley, Frank, 88
fasting, 13
fear, 20,21,38,41,45,62, 89,93
"Fern Hill" (Thomas), 173
festivals, 9,17,147
Finch, Henry, 130
fish, 40,45,78,154
flight, 10, 13,14-16, 24,25,46,93-96,114
see also aircraft; space
flow, 17,194
flowers, 8,29,59,60,61,162,174-80
Forbes, Fred, 53
forests, 32,33-34,37,64,138,182
rain, x, 154,158
Forsyte Saga, The (Galsworthy), 166
Fox, Margaret, 104
France, 16,36,75, 122,183,184
freedom, 6, 22,27,32,46, 48,133
bicycle riding and; 27,160, 165
play and, 7,17, 164
French language, 12223
Freud, Sigmund, 9,17,133
Friedman, Louis, 99
friends, 12,33,73, 147,153
Frisch, Karl von, 171
Frost, Robert, 173
fun, 8,11, 19,34,46,60,87-S8,150
Galsworthy, John, 166
games, 11,12,31,65-66,144,195
Ganges River, 57,61
gardening, 8, 29,119,145
Gauguin, Paul, 73-75,78-79
genes, 36,90-91,94
German language, 8
ghazal, 127
ghosts, 25,31,56,59
Gilgamesh, 57
God, 24,25,27,49,89,106
blessings of, 32,122
images of, 1045
man as plaything of, vii

INDEX

rejection of, 108

gods, 8,9,13, 30-31,36-37,38,47,54,58,
62,70,100,108
Golding, William, 134-35
golf, 195
grace, 24,29,107,114,156,212
Graham, Billy, 197
Grand Canyon, 65-72
geology of, 65,66,69-70,71-72
tourists at, 6770
vulgarizing of, 6970
Grappelli, Stephane, 121
gravity, 46, 118
Greek language, 47,122
Greeks, ancient, 15-16,37,47-48,56,58
Greenacre, Phyllis, 19, 29
Groos, Karl, 17
guilt, 28,30
Gutenberg, Johannes, 197
Guttman, A., 84
Habitat for Humanity, 8
Haldane, J.B.S., 131
Hale-Bopp comet, 199,203,204-5,208-9
hand, human, 33,55
hang gliding, 12,89
happiness, 79,84,118,149,201
Heaven's Gate group, 199,200,203
Heim, Albert von St. Gallen, 25
Heine, Heinrich, 133
Heisenberg, Werner, 131
Heraclitus, 17, 155,170
herbs, 156
heroes, 10,57,85,112
Heyerdahl, Thor, 75
hiking, 66,116,182
Hillary, Edmund, 84
Hinduism, 13
History of God, A (Armstrong), 108
hobbies, 18,118,159
Hoffman, Albert, 111
Hofstadter, Douglas, 193
holidays, 145,147
Hoist, Gustav, 149
home, meaning of, 146
homeopathy, 156 ,
Homer, 196
Homo Ludens (Huizinga), 3,6
honor, 7,10,83

229

Hopi Indians, xi, 13,70, 187

Hopper, Edward, 56
horses, 34-38,164
domestication of, 3536,3738
images of, 3738,5455
play of, 45
riding of, 13,34,35-37,38,89, 116,161.
spread of civilization and, 35-38
teams and herds of, 35,37
winged, 38
worship of, 3738
Hoyle, Fred, 131,193
Huang- ti, Emperor of China, 205
Hugo, Victor, 198
Huizinga, Johan, 3,6, 10-11,17>18,133,
139
human nature, 24,37, 126, 129, 209
play and, 12,17
humor, 110,122
hunger, 13,26,31
Huxley, Aldous, 111
icons, 87
Idea ofthe Holy, The (Otto), 28
imagination, 93,122,130,134,153
"Imp ofthe Perverse, The" (Poe), 81
In Cold Blood (Capote), 127
India, 37,56,127,179-80
Indo-European language, 7,187
infants, 17,30,33,140-41,207
ingenuity, 13,43,153, 194
initiation rites, 13,21,31,54,55,144,202
injuries, 22,25,89,115-17,156-57,207
innocence, 20,23,31,38,67,165, 211
insects, 12,35,59-61,68,139,151-52, 158,
171,175, 177-81
insight, 13,57
instinct, 11,22,55,92-93,106
intelligence, 4,45,46,58
Intelligent Life in the Universe (Sagan and
Shklovskii), 149
Internet, 26,122,190,191,198
Into Thin Air (Krakauer), 114
Inuit people, 47,206
Invisible Circus, The, 135
Irvine, Martin, 197
Islam, 203
islands, 49,73-79
Ivan the Terrible, 206

230

INDEX

James, William, 49
Japan, 22,58, 184-85
Japanese tea ceremony, 166-67
Jarry, Alfred, 134
Jesus Christ, 47,76,197,199
jogging, 24,32,159
Johnsgard, Keith, 89-90
Journalist in Space project, 96-100
journeys, 32,58
pilgrimage, 13,48-51, 53, 72, 94
soul, 13, 73-79
see also exploration; travel
joy, 6, 17,25,196
Judaism, 27,28,146-47,197,203
Julius Caesar, 208
Jung, Carl, 64-65, 121
kachinas, xi, 70,187
Kalahari bushmen, 56
Kasperbauer, Michael, 180
Keenan, Joseph, 166-67
Kerouac, Jack, 93
Kerr, Walter, 209-10
Kilimanjaro, Mount, 13, 64-65
Kon-tiki, 75
kosher food, 146-47
Kostrubala, Thaddeus, 195
Krakauer, Jon, 114
Krishna, Lord, 84
Kwakiutl Indians, 170-71
Lakota Indians, 57,64
Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute, 91
language:
erotic, 8-9
private, 20, 21
wordplay and, 4,8-9,100,121-22,133,
163
Lascaux cave paintings, 37,5457, 131,196
Latin language, 122,123
laughter, 25,32,163,168,194, 196
Lawrence, D. H., 134
Laws (Plato), vii
Leakey, Mary, 139-40
Leary, Timothy, 110-12
Leger, Fernand, 135
Liddy, G. Gordon, 111
life, vii, 11
affirmation of, 19, 24, 87

ascetic, xi, xii, 9, 195

fragility of, 149
play as refuge from, 6, 7,16, 17,21,31,
123, 194
poetic illumination of, 125-26,12930,
132-33
power and sweep of, 23, 2425
risking of, 7-8, 9-10
sanctity of, 107
selfless sacrifice of, 10
thriving durability of, xixii
Lindbergh, Charles, 25
Loisirs, Les (Leger), 135
Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth, 143
Lord's cricket ground, 65-66
Louis XII, King of France, 146
Louis XIV, King of France, 183
love, 88, 124,152
games and play of, 8-9,11,16, 20-21
loss of, 20-21
maternal, 33
merging of lovers in, 12,17,20,23
private world of, 20-21
romantic, 35-36,87
sexual, 8-9, 33
surrender to, 21,23
Lowell Observatory, 70
luck, 9,13
Luscher, Max, 186
Luther, Martin, 197
Lyrical and Critical Essays (Camus), 49
MacCready, Paul, 135-36
McKinney, Steve, 89
McLuhan, Marshall, 190
Madison, James, 75
magic, 21,30,39, 47,50,54,130, 131, 145
Mahabharata, 9
Mahler, Gustav, 193
make-believe, 7,14, 21,130,136
mammals, 4,30
mania, 13, 196
manic-depression, 91
mantras, 12
Marie Antoinette, Queen of France, 183
Marin, Peter, 9
marriage, 36,94,144, 146
Mary Magdalen, 61
Masai tribe, 13

INDEX

Maslow, Abraham H., 17, 73,106,207

mating, 5, 40,180-81
Maugham, W. Somerset, 135
Mau Piailug, Pius, 78
"Me and My Bike" (Thomas), 134
meditation, 32, 33,194-95,196,197
memory, 31,50,83, 97,121,123,150-51, 201
geography as, 5153
metaphor, 122, 125,127,128,134-35
Michaux Cycle Club, 164
Miller, Henry, 134
Milton, John, 129
Minoans, 47, 87
miracles, 23,24, 61,137
Mishima, Yukio, 96
Mohammed, 25
Molloy (Beckett), 134
monoamine oxidase (MAO), 91
moon, 6,7,19,53, 62,68
moral codes, 9-10,28, 50,62
Moranism, 13
Morley, Christopher, 27, 87
Moses, 25
motorcycle racing, 26
mountains, 5761, 79
climbing of, 12,13,18-19,22, 25, 32,38,
60,81-84,89,92,93,114,207
Moving Target, A (Golding), 134-35
Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus, 192
Muir, John, 63-64,68
Murdoch, Iris, 134
Murphy, G., 17
Murphy, Michael, 114,195
Murray, Bruce, 99
music, 17, 38-40,48, 50-51,74, 170-71,
195-96
computer-generated, 19294
"My Bike & Other Friends" (Miller), 134
mystery, xiii, 17,91-92,105,106,123,131,
190,211
mysticism, 16,20,32, 38, 48,73, 84, 89,135,
194
myth, 31,62, 77,90
animals in, 38,46^48, 54
Greek and Roman, 47-48,50,58
religion and, 46,75
National Aeronautics and Space
Administration (NASA), 97, 99-100

231

National Geographic, 66, 140

Native Americans, 8, 13,47, 57,58, 62, 67,
70
nature, 19, 24, 67, 94, 126
color in, xi, 17487
communing with, 5, 9,3234, 48, 50-54,
60, 62-65, 117-18, 119,148, 170,
174-87
creative play in, 17071
healing power of, 155-58
mimicry in, 179
Nature Genetics, 90
navigation, 56-57,75-78,207
Nazca lines, 61-62
Neal, Patsy, 24-25
neighbors, 33,73,119
nervous system, 207
stimulation of, 5,17, 33, 88
New Scientist, 201
New York Cosmos, 84-85
Niagara Falls, 57, 66
Nissan Motor Company, 186
nobility, 10-11
norepinephrine, 91
novelty seeking, 88, 90-93
"Nuclear Winter" (Ackerman), 150
O'Brien, Flann, 103,135
obsession, 16, 37, 68,73,87, 115,167
compulsion and, 30, 54, 75, 145
"Ode to the Alien" (Ackerman), 150
Odon, Father, 202
Odysseus, 146
Ogilvie, Bruce, 90
Ohslataya wowahwala, 57
Olympic Games, 85
omnipotence, 2425
Ondaatje, Michael, 143
ordeal, 19,29,93,112, 114-15,163
Otto, Rudolf, 28,62-63
Ovid, 47-48
pain, 13,22-23, 25, 26,114,115-16,117, 144
painting, 25,74,75,79,136,164,185
animal, 37-38,54-55,87
cave, 37, 54-56,57, 131,196
magical, 5456
perspective in, 55
Pallis, Marco, 92

233

INDEX

INDEX

Poe, Edgar Allan, 81

Palmer, Arnold, 195
poetry, 9,119, 121-33,150
parachuting, 12,31,89
life and truth illuminated by, 125-26,
Parade, 96,98-99
127,129-30
Paradise Lost, (Milton), 129
reading of, 124-26, 127-31
parents, 36,62
soul searching and emotions in, 121,
passion, 16,17,18,26,32,53,79,87,89, 106,
123,124,132
115,123,124
politics, 11,131
"Passion Considered as an Uphill Bicycle
Polynesia, 56,73-77
Race, The" (Jarry), 134
Post, Laurens van der, 64
pattern, 56,62,129,136,193
Powell, John Wesley, 70
Pavlov, Ivan Petrovich, 92
praise, 9-10,18,62, 136
Pele, 85
prayer, 12,18,21, 23, 24,27,28,58,61,76,
perfection, 30,93
109, 126,195
personality, 88-91,103
petroglyphs, 61
on mountain tops, 13,25,38
Phoenicians, 77
play in, 104
Picasso, Pablo, 131-32,164
priests, 55,121,179
pigeons, homing, 56
primates, 4, 83
Pirandello, Luigi, 155
problem-solving, 4, 122
Pittsburgh, University of, 123-24
prophesy, 50
Planetary Society, 99-100
Proust, Marcel, 123
planets, 70,96,150,208
psychology, 7,9,37, 126,157
Planets, The (Hoist), 149
psychotherapy, 6,13, 1415
Planets, The: A Cosmic Pastoral (Ackerman),
Pueblo people, 58
purification, 28-31,58,89,147,201-2
110,149
ceremonial, 28-29,30,201
Plato, vii, 12,17
play, 109-10
ordeal and, 93, 114
Pyramids, Great, 57, 61
deep play vs., 24,193-94
definitions of, 3,6,7,164
rapture, 3,15-17,46,74-75
evolution and cultural development
through, 4-5,11,17,24,38-39,94,210
deep play and, 12,16-17,19,32,72, 110,
207
as frivolous, 11,85
definition of, 15
invitations to, 7,43
projection in, 133
perverse, 24
Rational Dress Society, 165
rules and rituals of, 67,9,11,12,14,
Rauschenberg, Robert, 135
16-17,20,144
rebirth, 30,31,93,144
sacred elements of, 3,6,7,9, 13,1718,
.Red and the Green, The (Murdoch), 134
26,31,48,49-79,94
religion, 12,24,104-9,196-203
self-enclosed world of, xiii, 6,7,16,17,
19-20
deep play and, 16,32,199-200
ecstasy and delirium in, 16,32
testing of skills through, 45,78,9,
10-11,12,38-39,163
organized vs. transcendent, 1058, 112
rejection of, 104,108
time limits of, 6,7,14
rituals of, 13,17-18,37,58,65,70,105,
work as, 7,8,84,85, 173
106,109, 114, 144, 145, 146-47,179-80,
see also deep play
203
playgrounds, 13,7374,96
sacred places and pilgrimages of, 6,
sacred, 6,26,31,65-66, 144
49-62
plegan, 7-8
Pliny the Elder, 184
sin and atonement in, 2830, 104

technology and, 26,196-99

Schultheis, Rob, 25,81
values and traditions of, 8,32, 106,107
Schulz, Bruno, 2067
Religions, Values, and Peak Experiencesscience, 139,150,177
Scott, Robert Falcon, 91
(Maslow), 73
scuba diving, 12,13,4144
Remarks on Fatal Falls (Heim), 25
seasons, 9,32,37,145,147-48
Rembrandt, 185
secrecy, 65,145,199
replenishment, xiii, 11,17,24-26,38,73
Seferis, George, 79
revelation, 79, 105, 106
self:
deep play and, xiii, 24,62,89,106, 207
rhythm, 32,34,45,134,194,195
becoming ideal version of, xiii, 2425,30
riddles, sacred, 10
coherent sense of, xiii, 10,11,12,24,25,
Rilke, Rainer Maria, 103
31
risk, 7-8,9-10, 12, 13,16,25,29, 39,100
losing of, 55-56
challenge and uncertainty of, 9, 14,
self-acceptance, 24
18-19,21,23,26,93,207
self-disgust, 28,29
self-esteem, 88,90
of death, 10, 25,26,81-101,207
senses, 57-58,191
romance and play in, 7,19,21
rituals, 144-51
color and, 175,177,186
deep play and, 144,147
intense alertness of, xiii, 5,9,1920,
initiation, 13, 21,31,54,55,144,202
21-22,31,194-95
mourning, 144, 148-49,151
pleasure of, 16, 17,25, 154,161,209-10
need for, 145-46, 151
stimulation of, 13,17,21,32,92-93
obsessive-compulsive, 145
sensory deprivation tanks, 11112
personal, 145, 146
serenity, 26,67,79
purification, 28-29,30,201
Serpent Mound, Great, 57,62
secret, 145
sex, 37,202
sports, 84,145
love and, 8-9,33
see also ceremonies; religion
shamans, 13, 20, 25-26,46,58,119,198
Roberts, Oral, 197
Sherpas, 38,89
Roberts, Silas, 51-53
Shklovskii, I. S., 149
Roddenberry, Gene, 112
silence, 49,67,69,71
romance, 19,21,35-36,87, 132
sin, 29,-31
Romany Stain, The (Morley), 27,87
"Sing the Epistle" (Pirandello), 155
running, 13,32,37,116,195
skiing:
cross-country, 18,119,159,182
sacred places, 4979,96
downhill, 89
deep play in, 31,6265, 72,144
Skynner, Robin, 1415
large-scale, 61-62,65-72
Sloan-Kettering Cancer Institute, 192
mountains as, 25,57-61,79
Smith, Malcolm, 26
pilgrimages to, 13,48-51,53,72,94
soccer, 8485
society:
sacrifice, 10,18,55
Sagan, Ann, 147-48, 150
cooperation in, 5,8,90,152
Sagan, Carl, 96,99,110,148-51
play and games in, 4,5,8,12,17-18
saints, 26
primitive, 73
Sanskrit language, 7,9
status and rank in, 5,15,83,184, 202
Sapsucker Woods, 33-34, 117-18
suspension of roles in, 17
Saroyan, William, 13334
solitude, 49,79
schizophrenia, 91
Songlines, 50-51
"School Prayer" (Ackerman), 109
Songlines, The (Chatwin), 50-51

232

"T~

234

INDEX

song-making circles, 170-71

Sons and Lovers (Lawrence), 134
souls, 47,57,63
space, 56
Earth seen from, 100-101
exploration of, 7,95, 96-100,110,112,
212
Spencer, C. B., 67
spirituality, 13,46-47,48
nature and, 50-54, 6265
quests of, 73,79
religion vs., 1049
sports and, 84, 195-96
sports, 84-87, 195-96
accidents in, 22,25,83,89,90
amateur, 85-87
blood, 11
extreme, 13,26,29-30, 89-90
money and reputation linked to, 24, 84
peak experiences in, 2425,89
risk in, 18-19, 21-22,26,81-84,88-90
seriousness in, 11,85,86-87
tribal elements of, 84
stars, 96
constellations of, 47,48,56,62,70,78,
129,142,206-8
navigation by, 56-57,78,207
wishing on, 210-11
status, 5,15,83, 184,202
steam engine, 35
Stevens, Wallace, 124
Stonehenge, 53,57, 61
storms, 63-64,77,90
street gangs, 10, 24
Street of Crocodiles, The (Schulz), 2067
stress, 25-26,57,88,130
suicide, 91,110
Sumerians, 197
sun, 32, 34,44, 53,61,62,74,75
Sun and Steel (Mishima), 96
sunsets, 23,29,44,96
supernaturalism, 72,101
survival, 4-5,13
Swenson, May, 96
swimming, 116,159,163
Symbion pandora, 137, 138, 141
Tahiti, 74-75,78
Talmud, 91-92

"Taming the Bicycle" (Twain), 134

teachers, 8,58,123-24
technology, 35, 126,127,137,190-94,
196-99,208
Thierree, James, 135
Thierree, Jean Baptiste, 135
Third Policeman, The (O'Brien), 103, 135
Thomas, Dylan, 124-25,134,173
Thomas, Lewis, 191-92,193
3001 (Clarke), 209
thrills, 9,38,39,40,79
personality and, 8891
seeking of, 81-101,119,207
time, 22,26, 96
deep,23
leisure, 4,36, 85, 91
play and limits of, 6,7,14
saturation in the present moment of,
xiii, 14-15,23,31,119
Time, 198
Tolstoy, Leo, 9
touch, 33,87
transcendence, 12, 15-17,25-26,65, 84,
106,118,207
play and, 12, 48
seeking of, 9,107,112,210
travel, 19-20
out-of-body, 93
tourist, 50, 53,57,67-70
see also exploration; journeys
Turner, J.M.W., 64
Turner, Victor, 16-17
Twain, Mark, 134
"Two Tramps in Mud Time" (Frost), 173
Type-T Personality, 88-89
unicorns, 54, 205-6
United Kingdom, 37, 50,53
utilitarianism, 18
Valery, Paul, 144
Van Gogh, Vincent, 187
Varieties of Religious Experience, The (James),
49
Vatican, 198
Vikings, 77, 206
Vinci, Leonardo da, 206
Visible Human Project, 190
visions, 68-69,129

INDEX

heightened consciousness and, 13, 26,

57
quests, 25, 61-62
sharing of, 23-24,133
Vlasov, Yuri, 194

235

impurity and, 2012

virtual, 190, 191, 192
Women's Mountain Bike & Tea Society
(WOMBATS), 166
wonder, xiii, 19,62,65,105,192, 211
work, 153
Walcott, Charles, 56
concentration on, 24,56
walkabouts, 13
play and, 7,8,84, 85, 173
war, 14-15, 17,20, 21,36,67, 84,87,94,146
volunteer, 8
games of, 4, 5, 11
world:
warriors, 910, 59
love of, 19,29
water, 31, 33,34,61, 113, 158
richness of, 33
Water Drawing ceremony, 185
turning away from, 16, 19, 31, 49,79,
Watt, James, 35
171,194-95
weeping, 32, 116-17
World War II, 14-15
weightlessness, 46
worship, 37-38,87,107-9, 112
weightlifting, 116,194
religious, 196-203
Wells, H. G., 134
technology and, 26, 196-98
West, Paul, 192
see also spirituality
Wheels of Chance: A Bicycling Idyll (Wells),
Wright, Robert, 198
134
whirling dervishes, 32
yearning, 13, 20, 31, 72, 91
Wilde, Oscar, 21
Yom Kippur, 28
wilderness, ix-xiii, 13, 22, 6265
Yosemite, 6364
Winnicott, D. W, 14,17
Yunupingu, Gulawarrwuy, 5153
wisdom, 13,31, 119
Wombats News, 166
Zegans, Leonard, 91
women, 74, 78-79
Zen Buddhism, 58,73,89
clothing of, 146,165-66, 183
Zuni people, 13

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DIANE ACKERMAN'S nonfiction includes, m o s t re-

cently, A Slender Thread, about her work as a crisiscenter help-line counselor; The Rarest ofthe Rare; the
panoramic A Natural History of Love; the critically acclaimed The Moon by Whale Light; On Extended Wings, her
memoir of flying; and the best-selling A Natural History of the Senses. She is also writing a series of books
for children, the first two of which are Monk Seal
Hideaway and Bats: Shadows in the Night, and is co-editor
with Jeanne Mackin of an anthology, The Book of Love.
Her six books of poetry include I Praise My Destroyer
and Jaguar of Sweet Laughter: New and Selected Poems.
Ms. Ackerman, who earned an M.A., M.F.A.,
and PhD. from Cornell, has received many grants
and awards and has taught at a variety of universities. Her work has frequently appeared in Parade, National Geographic, The New York Times, The New Yorker, and
other journals, where it has been widely acclaimed.