LIFE GROUP MANUAL

An In House Guide

Contents
Intro:

A note to leaders.

Big Picture: An overview of how Life Group fits within Grace Church.
Wins: Our goals for Grace.
Role: An introduction to the role of a Life Group leader.
Four Rhythms: What takes place in a Life Group.
Connection: How change occurs in people.
Opportunities: Areas to be aware of God moving.
Communication Skills: Some helpful communication tips.
First Aid Kit: When you are frustrated, want to quit, or give up.
Kids: Lots of tiny people running around the house.
Problem: What to do with sin in Life Group.
The Command to Go: Reaching out to our community
Plant: Weve got 39 people and one bathroom, now what?

Intro
Welcome to Grace Church Life Group Leadership. Chances are if youve been
around Grace Church for a while youve picked up on bits and pieces of what we are
about and what things happen in what order. This is not the purpose for what you have
in your hands. All of that could probably fit into a single pamphlet like youd find in the
pocket of an airplane seat. Instead this manual attempts to convey the culture we aim
to share, and equip you for discipleship inside the body of Christ.

Our goal is to know the One who has made what we call life and share that
relationship with people along the way. This is our desire for Life Groups, of which you
are now a part. At the center of all this church stu resides a God who does not dwell
in temples built by hands (or programs built by churches); He dwells in you and me and
soon in someone else. He is real, relevant, and unknown by many. Many people have
been oered religion; few have been oered life, freedom, and Jesus.

I look forward to this endeavor with you. The goal is not to be a stunning example of
greatness and leadership. The goal is to know the heart of God and actually live it. It
will be messy and time consuming, but thanks for being up for it.

Gratefully,

Pastor David

The Big Picture

At Grace Church we believe the only hope and home for every heart is Jesus.

We believe that God has called out undeserving, dead people for Himself and made
a relationship possible to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is the good news.
Transformation occurs as believers and unbelievers take, test, and trust the gospel. For
this reason we desire to create a few focused structures in order to connect the heart
of the gospel with the hearts of people. Life Group is one of these.

Life Group is the next step for those who have been attending our Sunday
gatherings or Life Group could be the first step for those who would never attend our
Sunday gatherings.

We firmly believe that the heart of the gospel can be visible in these small circles of
believers and want to allow God the freedom to use one another to grow us and shape
us to look like Jesus. This process is often messy, uncomfortable, risky, breaks cultural
norms, and is tedious. It is not for the faint of heart.

Life Group is not one option in a buet of church ministries. It represents the first
step in our philosophy for local mission, it is our first step in discipleship, it is our
spiritual growth philosophy, it is our hospitality training, and our reproductive plan. We
have front loaded Life Group to be the consistent place where people connect to
Jesus and each other.

For this reason we ask everyone who considers themselves to be a member of

Grace Church to be a part of Life Group.

It is our prayer that Jesus would draw people to himself and grow His church in
Kennesaw, Cobb County, and the state of Georgia. We pray that God will be faithful
and gracious enough to see a new church planted in a city near us that is underpinned
by Life Groups from Grace Church.

The Win
Everyone likes to win. Its also clear that most people are willing to do whatever
it takes to win. Often what is not so clear is the goal. It is possible that each individual
on a team could have a dierent idea of what winning looks like. If this were the case
each individual could succeed at their own goals, but the group may not succeed at its
larger goal.

Just because one is mistaken about the win does not mean they misunderstand
the process. The win in baseball is to score points to win the game. This is achieved by
advancing runs, which is achieved by hitting the ball. If the batter thinks, My goal is to
hit the ball he is not wrong about the process, he simply needs to focus on the larger
win of the team to be a success. For this reason it is important that everyone
understand what the main wins are ahead of time, so that everyone can work toward a
common goal.

Grace Church has two main wins. As a Life Group leader these will be your two
main objectives for your Life Group.

Grace Churchs wins are:

For the Heart of the Gospel (Grace): to be visible, believable, and repeatable in and
through our Life Groups.
Some Tangible examples could be

Service motivated by Gods grace

Love for one another displaying the truth of Jesus
Our work done in a way that causes others to consider God
Members speaking Gods grace to one another in difficult times

For the Hearts of people: to take, test, and trust Jesus and his work in their lives.

Some tangible examples could be:

Risking time, talent, and treasure to be used by God

Repentance and confession

Coming to a greater understanding of ones new identity in Jesus

Please note that these wins are for our in house leadership discussions and are not meant for
repetition word for word in a Life Group. We want you to express the wins in your own words
and be able to explain why we do what we do.

As Life Group leaders we will often get together and talk about these wins, barriers to
these wins, and ways to tweak our system to accomplish them more.

Within your Life Groups we want to celebrate these wins. You should encourage
individuals as they do them, find ways to anticipate them, and make people feel valued
when they occur.

The Role

Gods word says the church is made up of many people with dierent talents
and abilities. Paul tells us in Ephesians 4 that each member has been given gifts to
build up the body of Christ. Life Group is a unique place for this principle to become a
reality. For this reason Grace Church is committed to creating a Life Group culture in
which leaders equip individuals to fulfill their God given roles.

This belief means that your role as a Life Group leader is not to be the leader of
everything. Simply put you should not be doing it all. It is true that you may need to do
certain tasks in the beginning, but a prolonged desire to do everything will demonstrate
a confusion about the purpose of Life Group. People will model what you do. If you do
it all, you will communicate that successful leadership is doing everything. This is not
the case. Successful leadership serves and empowers others to serve.

The challenge is to allow Jesus to influence you and in turn influence others toward
Jesus. Your leadership role is to lead toward Jesus and toward the personal
contribution of all your Life Group members to the church (well go more into member
development in another section).

The following are areas that can/should be delegated:

Teaching: lets be honest not everyone who will be a leader will be the teacher
in the group. Some may choose to assign the biblical section to others who
are interested in serving this way.

Leading a night of prayer

Food Coordination

Community involvement / Service

So What Are Life Group Leaders?

A Metronome :

Set tone, pace, and boundaries

Model the Christian Life

Facilitate and organize

Be a faithful presence

A Match :

Stimulate others spiritual gifts/skills for use

inside and outside Life Group meetings

Cultivate relationships

Help resolve conflicts

In a simple way, be able to teach and

communicate basic bible truths

Identify and help train the next generation

of leader

A Thermometer :

Be aware of needs and growth

opportunities

Establish a culture to multiply or start a

new Life Group

Be cognizant of conflict areas

Identify your groups attitude and aection

toward God

Grace Church will, from time to time, provide training in a specific skill or area.

The Four Rhythms

Life Group has been designed to contain four essential rhythms. While the
actual practice of these parts will dier from Life Group to Life Group, the four rhythms
should be present in some form. It is up to you as the leader insure all are being done this will be discussed in more detail later in this section. It is also important to know
that the order of these is not set in stone. It is the presence and the practice of the
rhythms and not the particular order that makes up Life Group.

Rhythm One: A Meal

Each Life Group should have a shared meal. This meal is not something that is
done at the same time as the other rhythms, but rather is its own event. A meal is
exactly what it sounds like - a meal. The Life Group will cook or share food that has
already been prepared. The sharing of a meal is a community practice and allows new
people the chance to get to know individuals who are regular participants.

It is during the meal time that the individuals of the Life Group get to BE the church to
one another and also to any unchurched people that visit. Meal time is an open time
for the church to put into practice the biblical principles that they are learning
throughout the other times of Life Group.

Some Things To Note:

A goal is for everyone to eat something. No one should go without. Watch

A goal is for people to relate with one another. Watch for people eating

for individuals taking too much food and not being respectful of those who
have not yet eaten. If this occurs simply plan on eating less yourself and
perhaps consider reiterating why we do all that we do. Do not confront the
individual during the eating time unless it is clearly necessary. You are not the
referee. You are the leader. This means you will need to formulate a way to
make a Connection with that individual (we will talk about connections later
in this document). If the individual eating too much is a guest, great! This may
be the best meal they get all week, so send stu home with them.

alone. If someone is eating alone that is new, this is an indication that the
group has not yet consciously grasped the idea of welcoming new individuals.
If they are a regular attender, perhaps take someone with you and go eat with
them. Always take someone with you when performing a task that you would
like repeated. Simply say, Hey Andy, lets go eat with Jim. If you need to
leave Jim, youve then left someone with him.

A goal is for people to view the meal as part of spiritual life together.

Be conscious about your host. Take cues from them as to what needs to be

MANY people will avoid this at all costs. You may have people skip the meal
and show up on other nights simply to get to the bible part. Others may
routinely look at their watch or ask,is this all we are doing? or ask, when will
we get to the Bible. Unless this is your host, consider that this individual
probably sees the meal as non essential. Consider gently responding to the
individual. If not consider engaging this person about their week. Ask
questions. Do not be surprised if this individual gets angry or uncomfortable
when probed about their life. It is a common response to not feeling
comfortable with personal community.

washed, stacked, and done. Do not do it all yourself. Do not be afraid to ask
someone to help you or the host in the kitchen.

Watch for individuals who are finished eating and are not allowing room
for those who need to eat. Do not be afraid to ask for someone to make
room for another person to sit. Do not interrupt conversations rudely.

A goal is for everyone at some time to lend a hand in the kitchen. Do not

let one person monopolize every task every meal. Some individuals do not
know what else to do in the kitchen other than take charge. If they are worried
or concerned about the food preparation to an abnormal level, reassure them
that the host has everything under control and that the host is present for such
purposes. The specific individual may love to help and do a good job, but they
must know that they can not do it all. Let them serve in one area of the meal or
help with two, but diversify jobs. Others need a chance to serve.

Logistics:

Your Host will be responsible for assigning dishes and items to be brought
from your Life Group, however you will need to double check with your host
that this is being done and that he or she has everything they need to do this.
Take the lead on issues. If you are not sure if something is being done,
chances are no one else is either.

Complement people on their cooking. Be honest. If you cant say anything

nice, dont.

Take the lead if you feel that an area is becoming too crowded. Do not be

In the case of food poisoning notify all who were in attendance of symptoms

afraid to ask people to spill into another room or ask your host if it is ok for
people to eat in the living room.

and take note of what was served. Go to the hospital if there are any
questionable instances.

Specifically note that all children are eating near a parent or adult and

instruct any Life Group attendee that is approached by a child for food to ask
the parent or have the child ask the parent for permission.

Finally Relax. Talk to new people. Listen to Regulars. Share your life during
the meal time.

Rhythm Two: Bible Study

Each Life Group should have a night when the Bible is the center of the groups
attention. This is not because the Bible is a great textbook, but rather because it is the
revealed word of God and has the ability to change lives. The Bible is that which shows
us how we are to grow, where we are to grow, and equips us to do this through Jesus
and the Holy Spirit.

The Bible time should be anywhere from 30 to 40 min. Beware of burning people
out on too much content. There should be a time when the Bible is read and a time
when individuals examine their lives in relation to what was read.

As a leader your role will be to support the Bible and never get in the way of it.
You are a facilitator not the professor.

The following practices are recommended

Know ahead of time what will be read and discussed. Have a plan.

Avoid overpacking time with too much information. Teach one thing well
rather than many things half as well.

Teach less content for more application.

Do not monopolize the conversation, rather start it.

Consider yourself as a guide for the passage. You should know information
about dicult verses or odd background content should the need arise,
however just because you know it does not mean it needs to be brought up.
Let things go if they do not come up.

Wait long enough for individuals to share. You will need to get used to

awkward silence. Some individuals need time to think and process. Others just
need time to get up the courage. Wait and when in doubt wait a bit more.

When phrasing questions be clear and specific. Do not use compound

questions or long confusing questions. Ask open ended questions.

Additionally watch for these common pitfalls:

Speaking too long: People need the opportunity to participate during the

Weak application to everyday life: The Bible time may be interesting and full

meeting to experience openness and community and to actively interact with

God's word.

of content, but so often the application is weak or unclear. People should leave
Life Group realizing God has spoken to them and they know what they could
do dierently in their lives to cooperate with God. Application to people's
everyday lives should be very clear and specific.

Not lively enough: This point applies both to you and the mood of Bible

study. Monotone leaders need to work hard to get a little inflection into their
voices, even if it feels uncomfortable. Get lively. Add an illustration and
personal vulnerability. People can help out here, too. Rather than falling asleep
during the Bible Study, people could nap beforehand, drink coee, and come
prepared to contribute to the meeting. Leaders should work in plenty of
opportunities for participation in the middle of any teaching time.

Dull atmosphere: This will primarily be your Hosts responsibility, however do

One individual answering every question: Often this individual could simply

not be afraid to discuss it with your host if it becomes a problem. Exercise

creativity in making Life Group a environment that is conducive to focus but
not one that is boring. Turn on a few lamps, provide plenty of pillows for
individuals on the floor, build a fire...anything to foster a time of extended
community.

be excited and just eager to participate. If this is the case recognize it for what
it is and count it as a win. To counteract it consider calling on another
individual to answer a question. Additionally, consider phrasing open ended
subjective questions as opposed to just questions that require a fact or direct
answer. Still one more solution may be to sit directly next to the individual. In
circles the person to the left or right of the leader is often the least likely to
share. If it consistently happens consider communicating the goal of everyone
sharing. Sometimes this individual has mistaken the goal as answering the
question right away.

SITUATION #1 - Stand Alone Bible Study

Your Life Group might choose to study a portion of scripture or book together for a
time. The goal for your Life Group study should be to teach less for more. While you

may cover a chapter of scripture ultimately you want to come down to that one thing
that really sums up the main point of the passage. This is the principle message to
which all the authors eorts and arguments point. You may spend time in
background, word studies, dicult verses, and analogies, but ultimately work hard to
dig for that main point. It may take a lot of cutting out. It may be that the chapter has
two great main points, awesome! Pick one and hammer it home. Often times the main
point will be the one thing in the passage that you really want your Life Group to
understand.

There is one phrase that directs all of your study. Context is key The number one
reason for the wrong interpretation is having the wrong context. What events caused
the author to write what he did? Who was his audience? Where did they live? What
was the culture like? What significant events had just happened or were on the
horizon? What has the author been talking about in the whole book? Many people will
first attempt to apply the verse without finding out what it means. Encourage them and
praise them for wanting to apply the verse to their life, but direct the group to discover
the meaning before applying it to their lives. Something like: Thats a great thought
and I can see where you are getting that, but in this instance there is something
specific Paul is saying. Can anyone see what it is?

Some study aids that can assist you in your preparation could
be:

Online Resources: (Xenos Christian Fellowship in Columbus has many,

studylight.org, blueletterbible.org, regreek.com)

Dave/other pastors

Concordances

Commentaries

Dictionaries

Biblical Surveys

Systematic Theology

Life Group Study Guide (Appendix A)

The Swedish Method (Appendix B)

When studying be sure to do your work first. Read through the chapter, pray, and do
your best to see if you can find the main point, then check it with a commentary.

Once youve found your main point work through some application exercises to help
develop a few questions for discussion. Here are a few exercises that can aid you.

Concentric Circles of Relationship: chances are, youve done this before but

The Cross Question: Ask Where is the cross in this passage? This question

just not known it. Take your one main principle and ask what does this mean
for me, my family, my neighborhood, my city, my world, etc.

is not one to actually ask your Life Group, but in preparation to yourself. The
influence of the cross ultimately can lead you to application of your principle.
I.e. Jesus died so we can have a relationship with God. We can now approach
God freely - therefore I should not be afraid to come to God. What are things
that cause us to worry about approaching God? What does this verse say
about them? What should we do?

Andy Stanleys Qs: These are just a few standard questions that Andy asks
himself when studying a passage. Ive found they help me focus.

a. What do they need to know? (Information)

b. Why do they need to know it? (Motivation)

c. What do they need to do? (Application)

d. Why do they need to do it? (Inspiration)

e. What can I do to help them remember? (Reiteration)

Literal Personalization: Physically write down a character description of the

Negative / Positive: This is the simple exercise of looking at your point from

individuals in the chapter or story. List their occupation, family background,

history, actions, feelings expressed, and emotions. Next to your description
think of modern day society and identify similar applicable situations. I.e.
Timothy - didnt really know his dad. Many individuals today are missing a
parent. Read the verse then in context in light of the individual being written to
or talked about.

both sides. Ask every question from both sides i.e. Who helps us when we
dont know what to pray? followed by Who opposes us when we dont know
how to pray?

 An application is specific and has action, it should cut out ambiguity. We should
love is not a good application, Gods love means this week I will weed my neighbors
garden (ok so not perfect but you get the point).

In the end you should have a number of applications from the main point of the
chapter. Great! Youre not done.

Lastly, you are the guide, not the typical teacher. Youre goal is to lead individuals
through the chapter to discover and personalize that application to the group.
Formulate a few probing questions that can open up the floor for personal discussion.
These questions best start with, Describe a time..... or Share an event that... Avoid
questions in this section that start with Have you ever... or Has anyone or Was
there ever..... These questions all can be answered with a simple yes or no and do not
open up any more discussion.

The Big Question:

What if as the leader I get asked something and I dont know an answer?!! Do not
guess. Simply say, You know I dont have an answer this week, but I will find out for
you. Your goal is not to be the guru with all the answers. Spiritual maturity is not
knowledge. It is Christ like obedience.

Always remember!!!

Hard (and sometimes aggressive) questions always originate from a point of pain. If
someone is forcibly calling to question a specific area of the text in a personal way
understand that there is most likely a painful experience behind the question.

SITUATION #2 - Sermon Re-cap Study

from Tim Chesters - Following up the sermon in small group

Occasionally all of our Life Groups will study the same thing together by covering the
scripture that was preached during our Sunday gathering. This time allows for specific
discussion and application of what weve heard from Gods word on Sunday. It also
allows those who served one Sunday or were absent to stay current on a particular
series.

In this instance the primary focus in the Life Group is not doing a Bible study on the
passage (that work should have been done in the gathering), nor recapping what was
covered at the gathering (though this may have be done briefly). The primary focus is
on exploring the implications for our lives and our life together. Here are some thoughts
on how this may be done.

Try to focus on the implications that are specifically relevant to your gospel community.
This may not cover all the ideas presented at the gathering or even the main idea.

Instead be open to the Spirit so the application is specific to your gospel community.
The advantage of applying the Bible teaching in the gospel communities is that we can
push application into the specifics of our lives and our life together as a gospel
community.

If you are unclear how to follow up the gathering teaching then the following format
may help. It is based around two rubrics so it should be easy to remember:

head, hands, heart

personal, communal, missional

It could be used cold is a crisis has wrecked your preparation time. But it is designed
as a framework that you can elaborate as you tailor it to the passage and the needs of
your gospel community.

Start by rereading the passage of the Scripture.

How did the Holy Spirit speak to your heart?

This will help recap what was said and allow those who missed the gathering to catch
up. If peoples recall is patchy you may want to summarise what was said or you may
focus in on one aspect of special relevant to your gospel community.

Phrasing the question this way emphasizes that we are not engaged merely in the
process of analysing an ancient text, but a dynamic process in which the living God
speaks to his people through word by his Spirit. Quoting Psalm 95, Hebrews 3:7 says,
as the Holy Spirit says (present tense). The Spirit not only spoke (past tense) through
the original authors of Scripture to ensure their words were Gods word without error.
The Spirit also speaks (present tense) as we read those words today.

This is also an opportunity to ensure people understand what the passage is saying.
You may want to ask whether people have any questions.
What are the implications for your life? Our life together? The world around us?
Our aim is to understand the word (our heads) so we can apply it:

to our lives (our hands)

to our aections (our hearts)

The rubric head, hands, heart corresponds to the need when teaching the Bible to:

make it clear = head

make it real = hands

make it felt = heart

Asking about our life together will draw out the communal implications and the asking
about the world around us will draw out the missional implications. Gods word does
not speak to a Christian ghetto. It is a public word for the world. Asking this question
will also help members of your gospel community to share Gods with their unbelieving
friends and apply it to their work, politics, cultural engagement and so on.

What are the personal implications (for you)?

What are the communal implications (for our gospel community)?

What are the missional implications (for those we want to reach for Christ)?

The use of the word implications rather than application is significant. Application
implies a process that we do to make Gods word relevant to us. Implications
emphasizes that Gods word is inevitably relevant to us.

Other helpful generic questions are:

What questions do you have?

What do you find striking in the passage or story?

How do you think the first readers or the people involved the story felt?

How would you have reacted?

What do we learn about God in this passage or story?

What do we learn about human beings in this passage or story?

Where have we seen this in the Bible story before?

What in this passage points to Jesus or shows our need for Jesus?

What are the links to our stories?

When have you faced a similar challenge?

How are we like the people in the passage or story?

How does the passage challenge or encourage you?

How does the passage help us see what it mean to walk in Gods ways?

When might you talk about this passage with a Christian?

When might you talk about this passage with an unbeliever?

The rubrics head, hands, hearts and personal, communal, missional provide a useful
pattern or checklist for looking at the word in gospel communities.

Summary
intro/head
1. How has the Spirit spoken to you through this section of Gods word?

2. Do you have any questions? (or How would you summarise the message of this
section or story?) Do people understand the passage?

personal/hands

3. What are the implications for you? (or How does this section speak to your heart or
life?) Do people recognize the personal implications for them as individuals?

communal

4. What are the implications for our gospel community? (or When might you talk about
this section with a Christian?) Do people recognize the communal implications for us
as a gospel community?

missional

5. What are the implications for those we want to reach? (or When might you talk about
this section with an unbeliever?) Do people recognize the missional implications for
those we want to reach for Christ?

heart

6. What gospel motives does this section give? (or How should this section shape our
love, hope, fears or desires?) Are people motivated by gospel aections?

Often when asking the six questions above the pattern will be head, hands, heart. In
other words, some action will be commended (e.g. sharing the gospel, loving your
spouse) and motives will take the form of right aections (love, hope, fear, desires
shaped by the gospel). But with some passages the reverse may be the case. What is
commended are right aections. The motives will then be (explicitly or implicitly) the
right behaviour or emotions (conflict avoidance, reduced anxiety, boldness in witness)
that flow from reordered aections.

Rhythm Three: Sharing / Prayer

At Grace Church we believe that apart from God we are not able to be in a right
relationship with Him or others. Jesus takes our lives and changes us from self
centered individuals into God centered individuals. Following Christ means sharing
your life. This third rhythm of Life Group provides individuals with a sanctioned place
to be vulnerable with one another. It is the actual sharing of life and is comprised of
two main elements, talking to one another and talking to God together.

Talking is essential to getting to know one another and identifying commonalities. It is

also a time when dierent age groups can hear from one another the struggles and
lessons that each have been experiencing. Some sharing included in this time would
be:

Things God has been personally teaching someone through life experience

A particular scripture that has impacted the individual the past week

A significant life event

An answer to prayer

A prayer request

An interpersonal relationship in which God showed up

A story about an application of a principle which the Life Group has been
discussing

Sharing can be a terrific time to grow and get to know one another, but there are
several items of which you may need to take note.

Self disclosure that creates shock and awe: This occurs when an individual

decides to share information with a group that is best shared with one or two
specialized people. Sometimes people share this information as a way to draw
attention to themselves. There are those who would rather go from group to
group sharing their shocking story than actually begin to work towards a
solution. However this doesnt mean that you should suspect the motives of
everyone who decides to share shocking info. Some people may simply
decide that now is the time to share something. When this occurs do not try
to ignore it. Acknowledge it for what it is, a large issue. Thank the person for
taking the risk to share it. This communicates that the sharing was desired (it
was just the shocking info that may have been out of place). From this place
you can take two actions. The first option is to stop and say why dont we pray

for that right now. The second option would be to suggest that, we keep
sharing and then dismiss and ________ can stay back for a little and (choose
some appropriate prayer people) will stay back and pray about it. Once the
group dismisses and the individual has been prayed with, you may need to
determine what action needs to be taken next.

Try to give as much direction as possible when asking individuals to share.

Sometimes as the leader you may be the only individual who knows what

Instead of saying, Does anyone have anything to share? Ask, Did anyone
see God show up in a conversation this week? The main goal is to guide the
discussion.

everyone is specifically dealing with (this happens because you are almost
always the most consistent person from week to week and others will tell you
about whats going on). You may at times ask someone in the group how a
matter of public knowledge is going. i.e. You guys just went on vacation right?
How did that go?

Prayer:
Prayer can be a great way to grow together as a group but it can also be and
intimidating time for those who are not in the habit of praying out loud. As the Leader
its important to state from time to time that prayer is just talking to God and Life Group
is a safe environment to do just that if one feels comfortable.

The following are some options of dierent types of group praying that may help
facilitate and/or enhance your time:

Specific assigned prayer: After a time of sharing or directly after a request

has been shared assign someone in the group to pray for that need when the
prayer time begins. Continue to share needs and assign requests until all who
you know are comfortable praying out loud have a request. Sometimes this is
a great way to give someone who may not know what to pray about a chance
to practice praying out loud because a topic has been assigned.

Starting a statement: As the leader you might inform the group that you are
going to start a statement and have them finish it. (ie. God Im thankful that
you are ___________) This allows you the opportunity to direct the time and
help facilitate any awkwardness someone might fear of public prayer.

Smaller groups: From time to time you might want to have your Life Group

ACTS: This is a popular acronym for Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and

divide up into smaller groups of two or three and pray for one another or
assign topics.

Supplication. Its an order of prayer that some have suggested for those who
dont know how to fill a certain amount of time. This method would require
some brief explanation at the start and some sensitivity to the Holy Spirits
leading during the prayer time as to when it is best to move on to the next
section.

Silent reflection/Scriptural Response: Perhaps best done when you have

more than a few minutes for prayer. This format requires individuals to sit
quietly for a minute to a minute and thirty seconds before a leader or prepared
individual reads a portion of scripture. This time is then followed by another
minute of silence, followed by a starting individual opening a time of
response to God about his word. The individual who started would close after
a few minutes and the process would repeat. This works well with Psalms and
Proverbs. The group would work its way through a passage and eventually
close.

Newspaper Prayer: Bring a local paper. Pass it around and ask individuals to

Music: If someone has the ability to play an instrument, prayer nights might be

identify a story or two for which to pray. Have them share with the group why
and what stood out about the story.

a great night to incorporate it.

None of the above items are mandatory or meant to be part of a complete list. They are
simply suggestions to get you thinking or to provide you with a starting point.
Ultimately the goal of prayer time is to connect to God as a body.

Homework:
It sounds a bit scholastic but some of the best time of sharing has occurred as a
result of homework being assigned by the leader. Homework could be an item or
items you bring physically to your Life Group with which you ask your Life Group to do
a specific task in the week ahead. Sometimes homework could be a simple task to do
each day when they wake up. For example one could say, This week we are going to
each take seven dollars and each day use one dollar to bless someone in our
neighborhood. At the next Life Group have individuals share about what he or she did.

Homework could simply be a very specific application point from the Bible time such
as a thought to think at the start of each day or a response to a situation. Be creative,
change it up, and dont always assign something. As the leader be open to others
ideas about what could be done. If someone in your Life Group demonstrates the
ability to creatively come up with an action step for a week, consider giving them the
role of preparing homework once a month.

The Connection
At Grace Church exist to connect the heart of the gospel w/ the hearts of people. As
a Life Group leader its part of your responsibility to direct focus to the grace found in
Jesus Christ. Growth comes from Him, change comes from Him, and life comes from
Him. This means that through sharing, bible study, breakfast, and serving the
community, we as leaders are constantly shepherding people towards Jesus & His
Grace.

In Life Group you will notice signs that indicate where people are with Jesus and
areas in which they may need to grow. It will be tough to genuinely care for individuals
and gently guide them to Jesus as you learn about their flaws or rough edges. You are
not the answer for their issues or their flaws. You are also not the one who will reveal to
them their true purpose. This is only a role that can be filled by the gospel. Be careful
not to attempt to fill a role only Jesus can fill. There is one mediator between God and
man, Jesus - not the Life Group leader or even the Life Group. To try to be a persons
answer will only result in frustration on your part and on theirs. Be clear that you are
just another part of the body with them. You can not be the solution, but you are more
than willing to go to the One who is (Jesus) with them.

Weve decided to define a few practices that should be part of a disciples life
regardless of maturity or where in the process of following Christ they identify
themselves. We dont think these are the only practices or that they are necessarily the
answer to all issues. They are simply the practices we have chosen in order to have a
common language.

Weve consciously made an eort to refer to the discipleship process in terms of

practices that are consistent of discipleship life rather than a line of progressive
accomplishments. In this way we are deliberately stating that discipleship is a process
that is never over. It is a continual journey. By creating a common practice language we
are attempting to give those individuals in relationship a starting point when talking
about their individual journeys. For example: One practice that is part of ones walk
with Christ is the aspect of leaving. Every disciple of Christ is being called to Christ in
deeper relationship. This means that the disciple is forever leaving something in their
life to follow Him. This allows those who are young in their faith to have a common
discussion point in talking to those who have been followers of Christ for many years.
Both are able to talk about what they are leaving behind in their lives as they follow
Jesus. Each practice has been taken from the life of Christ and are habits that Jesus
seemed to revisit with disciples throughout His life and ministry.

It is important to know that these practices are not what makes an individual
righteous or sanctified - Jesus does.

The Practices are:

Leaving (behind ones life to follow Jesus) - Jesus always calls his disciples

Loving (Jesus and those He loves) - this practice is an outflow from those

to leave their old lives behind and exchange it for the life of following Him
more. Sometimes this means leaving a profession, or a habit, an area of sin, or
a town. Other times the call is less public but it is always towards Himself and
away from oneself. Some obstacles to this practice sound like, Im just scared
to make a move. ; I just dont know if its worth the pain.; How do you
know that you can trust God? ; I really need prayer for some upcoming
direction Im struggling with in my life. ; What is He trying to teach me?

who follow Jesus, yet it is many times one of the hardest practices because it
can involve uncomfortable, culturally backward actions. Those loving are
learning that Jesus loves them and because of that they should love His body
and those around them. This is where the Pharisees may have missed some of
the more practical implications of Gods commandments. They knew the word
and they had a community of fellow God followers, yet they failed to love one
another or those unlike them. Because of this Jesus called them empty. Some
obstacles to this practice sound like I dont know if Im getting what I need
out of church. ; I just dont like some of the people at Life Group. ; I want
the church to _______ for me so that I can _______. While everyone who may
use these statements may not be expressing and opposition to this practice, it
is often true that some who uses these statements a majority of the time needs
to learn to love others as God has loved them.

Learning (to know Christ more) - this is the constant practice of growing in

the knowledge of God through the study of his word and the experience of
being led by the Holy Spirit as one lives life in following Him. It is a constant
process that never ends. The believer should always be in a posture of
learning from his Master Teacher. Learning is not THE marker of maturity. It is
often mistaken as the # 1 factor of those who are dedicated or mega
spiritual giants, this is not the practice by which Jesus teaches that His
disciples will be recognized. Instead He said those who follow Him love and
obey Him. It is true that in order to love and obey Him, one must know Him.

Leading (others to Jesus) - we often applaud those who love others and get

what it means to love God, but we also must call them to lead others to Jesus.
Jesus last statement was to go and make disciples of Him. Leadership is
influence. As a church body we can either try to be the only influence in our
peoples lives, or we can encourage everyone to be an influence in someones
life. Those wrestling with this practice are often preceded by a feeling of being
at a wall spiritually. They might say things like, I just feel like Ive run out of

things to do. ; I dont know what God wants me to do next? Sometimes

they might even out right ask, What can I do to lead others to Jesus?

Each one of these practices is motivated by the Gospel. In other words: Its the good
news about Jesus Christ and His life that calls us further into our walk with Him. It
should be the Gospel that calls us to leave our lives, live in community, love others, and
lead others to Him. For this reason, the role of the gospel is not simply for the process
of leading someone to initial faith in Christ (although that is part of it), rather it is the
sharing in the substitutionary death, burial, and resurrection of Christ that leads
someone to Jesus further in life. (For an example of this look at any action Paul asks of
any Church in the NT. It is always proceeded or followed by the death, burial, and/or
resurrection of Jesus as the motivating factor).

As a Life Group leader you will have people focusing on dierent practices in their
process of following Jesus. Its not your job to make them move, only the Holy Spirit
can do that. It is your job to encourage them, ask them how you can walk with them,
equip them, and pray for them on their journey. Paul reminds the Corinthian church that
he planted and another waters, but God causes growth. Remember take them to
Jesus. Share about Jesus. Make it about Jesus. Its all about Him.

The Opportunities
As a Life Group leader you will find yourself at an intersection. You will be in a home
in which many dierent people with dierent experiences and dierent life events
converge for a time of fellowship for a few hours once a week. This can result in a
myriad of stories, events, births, deaths, struggles, successes, etc. It can and will be
overwhelming at times. For this reason there are a few areas we at Grace Church want
to recognize when God could be at work. As with our discipleship, we dont think these
are the only areas God works, they simply are some of the more common ones.
Leaders see these areas as opportunities in which God might want to work. Its
important also that we balance our methods of growth so that the people we serve
learn that following Jesus does not involve only one of these areas.

Practical Bible Teaching: For many churches this is the only area they

Private Disciplines with Jesus: These will be absent from most peoples lives

hammer. Its something we believe in strongly at Grace Church, but in

conjunction with these other areas. Listen for individuals in your Life Group to
talk about a special time they had this week learning from Gods word (via
radio, reading, preaching, internet, etc). Also listen for someone to omit this
from their week. For example, a person might say that they just cant seem to
get enough out of the Bible in their times alone with it. They might say that
they want to read the Bible, but often dont understand what they read.
Suggest they incorporate some teaching into their week.

and often the last thing Americans look to for growth. Our culture wants the
quick fix and the idea of repeating something every day can sound boring.
Encourage the practice of fasting, prayer, and personal reading in your Life
Groups lives. Perhaps bring them into the experience by suggesting the Life
Group fast on a day that week together. Get them tools and resources in their
hands to help incorporate these habits. Talk about how repetition does not
always mean boring. People repeat often that which is most meaningful to
them. Many if not all of the requirements for surviving life are repeated on a
daily basis. A great book that covers many of the disciplines is entitled,
Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by D.S. Whitney.

Relationships that are significant: God wants to work in your relationships.

As a body we are called to grow together toward Jesus. Think of a field of

flowers all growing up toward the sky together, receiving the same rain, the
food, and sunlight. Most of the growing needed in church relationships is how
to respond correctly to those not like you or in conflict with you. Listen to
individuals talk about other christians that God is bringing into their lives and
maybe simply suggest that, Perhaps God is trying to grow them, through
this individual.

Life Changing Event: This will be one of the most obvious opportunities for

Personal Ministry: This area of growth is great for individuals to get a taste of

the Life Group to be the body, but it could also be missed if written o as just a
story from the week. LISTEN to one another in the Life Group. As the leader it
is important to see stories from the week as what God intends all life to be, a
sanctification (the Spirit leading and changing us to look like Jesus) process.
Act in these times. Pray, comfort, go visit, assist, support, contend for one
another.

that which God calls us. Its this area that can launch an individual into a life of
risking for Jesus. Recognize when God is calling someone to risk in their life.
Help them make that first step of reaching outside their box. Many times
someone might simply need the encouragement to take that step. From time
to time the Life Group could do something together to help incorporate this
risk.

The Communication Skills

In Life Group you will be involved in plenty of conversations on any given meeting.
Some of these conversations will be private. Some will be public. Some will be boring.
Some will involve crisis. Some will be interesting. Some will be emotional. All of them
will be important to the individual talking regardless of wether you think it important or
not. For this reason as a leader it is important that you consciously recognize
conversations for what they are. It is OK if it is a boring conversation, simply recognize
that it is boring but that the speaking party deems it important for some reason (we
dont know why). Thinking consciously about conversations is important to helping
people grow. If the leader checks out of conversation, he could miss an opportunity
to point to Jesus or encourage someone. To aid you in your conversations here are a
few skills communicators recommend.

Active Listening: This is a technique that has been incorporated in conversations by

communication professionals for many years. Active listening is what it sounds like,
listening actively. Many individuals in conversation will only partially listen to a
conversation because they themselves are in the process of formulating their next
statement in their head. For this reason there is a tendency to miss details or ask the
speaker something that has already been said. Active listening is the process of
repeating back to the speaker in your own words what they have said, attaching a
feeling or emotion to that statement, and then verbally checking back that you have
correctly summed up their statement.

Active Listening = Repetition of Facts + Emotion Communicated + Check Back

For example: (facts) So youre saying you never got the email about the job opening
in your company (emotion) and that made you feel that you were not valued, (check
back) is that right?

It might sound silly and elementary but it works quite well. Obviously the practice of
active listening is not something that you should use in every conversation lest you
become predictable and robotic. Its not the way individuals normally communicate and
will sound weird if done all the time.

Two areas in which this practice is specifically useful are conflict, and long
conversations that have no end in sight.

In conflict it helps avoid misunderstandings and aids in getting to the root issue. In
prolonged conversation it is natural to simply nod or resort to an Uh -huh when one
grows tired of interacting. Verbally and Nonverbally the listener is hoping that these
queues of compliance will indicate understanding and that there is no need to
continue. Unfortunately these queues only encourage the listener to continue. If one
employs active listening the individual speaking on and on will feel that they do not

need to continue anymore because he or she will know that what they have desired to
communicate has been communicated. Active listening also reverses the
conversational roles. The prolonged speaker is now forced to take on the role of
listening and must stop talking to receive the repetition of his or her point. You (the
bored listener) are now in the role of speaking and may continue in that role after you
have communicated what youve heard. You now may change the subject once youve
checked back.

Confidence Building: This technique was first introduced by Bill Wilkerson in his book,
The Seven Laws of the Learner. It recognizes the potential individuals have on one
another to encourage positive behavior habits and life direction. Many times leaders
miss out on opportunities to reinforce confidence in growing individuals. Wilkerson
suggests leaders practice a technique that enables the leader to use events and
behaviors that would normally be rewarded with a simple Thank You as a launch pad
for vision casting in an individuals life.

This confidence building technique involves observation, recognition, emotion, and

encouragement.

For example one might observe a Life Group member doing dishes. A typical response
would be, Thank you, Bob, for washing the dishes. However under the confidence
building model a response would look like the following: Bob, I saw you washing
dishes after Life Group.(observation) Thanks for being such a servant. (recognition) It
makes me so glad youre in our Life Group. (emotion) I could see you one day leading
others in what it means to practically serve Christ. (encouragement)

Instead of a simple thank you. Bob now knows that he made you feel a certain way
and that you believe he can make a dierence and has a future.

This technique can be used with any behavior youd like to see repeated in your Life
Group. Be creative. Often if you write a simple note you can maximize your impact of
this statement.

Waiting: Welcome to the hardest thing to do as a Life Group leader. Life Group is a
counter-cultural system in America. We do not choose to do Life Groups because they
are counter cultural, this would be reactionary. In truth we would love to see a culture in
which they are common, but the fact remains that in America today not many situations
place people in a circle at someones home. The closest thing we probably have are
baby showers, Mary Kay parties, and graduation parties. In America the two arenas in
which most individuals find themselves are large group presentations (conveying
specific predetermined information) or conversations with one or two individuals
(communicating events and facts based on the level of trust one has for those
individuals).

 Life Group places individuals face to face (often in a circle) with the expectation that
those individuals share life together. For many this experience alone can make them
feel like they are lost at sea aboard a life raft of total strangers and their life on the line.

Many people will be intimidated to speak. Others will be busy thinking of what to say.
Some may be day dreaming and some might be counting down the time till they can
exhale. Dont expect a new visitor to share everything in their life immediately.
Sometimes an individual might attend two or three times before sharing.

Waiting is what Jesus does in His grace for us. God is holding back His wrath and
oering grace and mercy to those who do not know Him. He also deals kindly and
patiently with those who call Him Father when they make mistakes and repeatedly fall
in the same areas. As his followers we should be willing to be patient with others. At
times you will ask a question and no one will respond - wait. Wait longer than you
think you should and then wait a bit longer. Often times this will help another find the
courage to share.

Get well aquatinted with awkward silence. Just think how much people would pay
for that kind of silence for just a few moments in any given day of their lives? Too bad
we cant market it. Provided that you were clear and specific in your question or
invitation to share, most people will eventually share.

Give room for the Holy Spirit to work. As your Life Group grows in depth with one
another these awkward pauses will grow fewer and shorter. You might however,
experience this silence once more as the Life Group grows. As more people are added
to the group some individuals who felt sharing with 7-10 people may not feel as
comfortable sharing with 10-15 people.

The First Aid Kit

As a Life Group leader you (and for some of you - your spouse) will be on the front
lines of life with Jesus. This is great because the opportunity for seeing tangible results
in peoples lives is readily available. It can be very fulfilling because you are not dealing
in theory, but real life. Such proximity is also a possible problem as you will
undoubtably see sin and its destruction first hand. People will be broken, unload grief,
directly disobey God, and question His goodness. This type of warfare can leave those
in close proximity to it in danger of becoming burnouts, susceptible to temptation due
to stress, and angry at specific people they serve. Because of this it is our desire that
you (and your spouse if applicable) take care to find and incorporate space in your life
to combat sin, the evil one, individuals neediness, and your disappointments.

The first principle to come to grasp with is that in our service to people, we can not

make anyone do anything. Only God can change the heart. We can pray, but God
changes things. It is vital to know where our roles cease and Gods role completely
takes over. This realization alone will save you a lot of stress and heart ache. Stress
comes from trying to change something that is outside of your control. Instead of trying
to change the individual, focus on what you can control.

False Control Statement: I want everyone who comes to Life Group to stop sinning
and come to know Jesus as Savior and Lord. (Stress is imminent)

Proper Control Statement: I want to share passages of scripture that show Jesus
breaking the power of sin with my Life Group. (measurable goal within your area of
control)

The second principle that MUST be grasped is that Jesus is the never ending source
of life, not you (or your spouse). If when confronted with sin and brokenness you
attempt to put on your leader hat and minister to the person from your life directly
you will soon be left dry and empty. Connect them to the head, Jesus, so that He may
sustain them. You know where the source of life is, take them there.

The following is courtesy of Erem Smith:

At Grace Church we desire our Life Group leaders to never get too:
H URT

A NGRY

L ONLY

T IRED

Any time one or more of these areas presents itself it is an indication to HALT what you
are doing and find some way to relieve the stress.

Spiritual Disciplines that have been practiced by many followers of Christ can be a
source of refuge. They however, do not do the freeing work in your life, only God can
change you and provide rest. Disciplines merely place you at the disposal of the Holy
Spirit and His word. The following is a list of disciplines provided by Fostor in his
book, A Celebration of Discipline for more information on the disciplines and making
them a part of your life you may want to read the book.

Internal Disciplines

Meditation on Scripture

Prayer

Fasting

Study

The Outward Disciplines

Simplicity

Solitude

Submission

Service

The Corporate Disciplines

Confession

Worship

Guidance

Celebration

Ask yourself 7 whys:

Ask why you feel angry, then follow your answer for at least seven whys. Often this
can identify underlying pressures that sometimes mask themselves as surface issues.
The danger of our lives is only dealing in the surface, and never digging deep enough
to find the source of multiple frustrations. Ask God to reveal yourself to you.

Rest:

It is possible that this is perhaps the best way to fight burn out. Proper rest is
necessary for life. Be sure that you (or you and your spouse) take time away from the
Life Group once a quarter to spend time together and simply rest. It is totally
acceptable to let individuals know this is why you will be gone. Grace Church
encourages rest in its leadership practices.

Exercise:

One can not say enough for the eects of physical exercise for the relief of stress. It is
important to maintain some sort of physical activity to counter act the amount of
energy ministering to people requires.

Artistic Expression:
Another scientifically proven way to fight stress is the arts. While doing art is not
necessarily therapy it can be by nature therapeutic. Go outside with a notebook. Start a
poem that enforces who God has made you to be, after all much of the Bible is written
in poetic form. (Remember David?) Buy some paints. You get the point.

The Kids
The five million dollar subject.

Our answer? It depends.

Because every Life Group is dierent with a dierent number of children in dierent
age groups, it would be impossible to assume that one answer would work for every
Life Groups situation. For this reason we have a number of dierent suggestions when
it comes to children and Life Groups. The following are some that weve compiled.

Balance: Parents need to feel comfortable about sharing their lives with one another.
Sometimes this can be dicult with children present. We know you dont have it all
together, and arent the perfect parent (we wont tell your kids). We wantparentsto be
able to openly ask for prayer and share lifes challenges. For this reason it is necessary
to provide some time away from the children (kids need their space too). Weve come
up with a few options for this "kids time" (lets admit it, it should be called parents rest
time) below. At the same time, children need to see their parents faith lived out. They
need to be taught by Mom and/or Dad that God is real and we can trust Him. For this
reason we recommend that you not use the below options for your whole Life Group
time. There must be a balance of freedom and responsibility.

Options: The following are options to aid your Life Group in the growth of children.

Hire Help - this is probably the most common thought of answer when it
comes to children and sometimes it is the best. Be sure that whoever you hire
is trusted and able to care for your childrens age appropriate needs.
Sometimes it is good to ask them if they have medical or first aid experience.
Grace Church can background check anyone asked to provide childcare for a
Life Group if necessary.

Rotate Members - second to external childcare is the concept of members of

the Life Group taking turns watching children during the study time. Members
might even choose to cover a Bible lesson with the children. For this reason
Grace Church will provide a dierent weekly lesson that corresponds directly
to what the child is learning at the large gathering each week. It is asked that
no one individual be left alone with children for the sake of legal liability.

Involve Kids - Ok, so not for everything, but creating a short story time for kids
before the parents study might be an option when combined with childcare.

Mix It up - Some Life Groups might choose tocreativelyschedule each week

of the month. For example: Week 1 might be hired child care. Week 2 the
women might meet and the Dads would get time at home with kids. Week 3
might be a family Life Group. Week 4 the guys might meet and the moms

would get time with children at home. Your Life Group might want to throw
them in a hat and pick one at random for the following week (just kidding).

Realize that nothing can totally alleviate the responsibility parents feel for children when
in anothers house. We encourage both parents and non parents in Life Groups to
consider one another with patience and love. Help one another grow our children into
Godly men and women.

Grace Church sees the church as the primary resource for parents rather than
the primary teacher of children. The Bibles position of child development has never
been separate from the home. This does NOT mean that we are saying home school is
the God sanctioned way of educating your children. It does mean that the
responsibility and the most leverage for a childs growth lies within the walls of a home.
Too often the childrens ministry at church is seen as the one responsible with the Bible
part; it is not. When individuals stand before God the parents of children will answer,
but wed like to stand with and along side of them.

As a Life Group leader you will need to familiarize yourself with the philosophy of
our kids ministry so that you will be able to answer questions parents might have.

The Problem:

Undoubtably you will encounter interpersonal conflict in your Life Group.
Conflict is the result of doing life together with fallen people. It is important to recognize
that conflict is in and of itself not bad. Many people come from a family background in
which conflict is a horrible thing and is meant to be avoided at all costs. The truth is
that we are all broken people redeemed by Jesus who continue to wrestle with sin and
work out our salvation as God works in us. This means that there will be conflict in our
Life Groups, yet God has made it possible to have redemption in our areas of tough
personal relationships.

Confronting problems is a way of insuring that unity in the body is not
threatened. Unity is visited multiple times in the New Testament as a vital part to body
health. Paul instructs the Corinthians that he can not go on to mature things of Christ
with them because they are jealous of one another (not unified). Christ prays for his
body to be one even as He and the Father are one. Aninias and Saphira are struck
down in the book of Acts for lying to the Holy Spirit and threatening the early churchs
unity. Paul also tells the Corinthians that those who destroy Christs body are in danger
of being destroyed themselves. Satan loves to use conflict to break apart the church.

As Life Group leader your responsibility is not to be the solution to conflict, but
to ensure that the conflict is dealt with in a biblical fashion. The Bible outlines that
people who have conflict with other followers of Christ are required to go to that
person first. If this step has not been taken by the informing party it is imperative that
you ask them to do so. At Grace Church we require that all individuals reporting
conflict to leadership be met with one question first, Have you spoken to them about
this? This is not because we want to avoid any responsibility, but because we believe
that ganging up on someone who has no idea of their oense is not Biblical. (The only
exception is sexual misconduct with minors and other planned unlawful acts that
cause harm to others and the oender). Love cares enough to confront the individual
in person about his or her oense. This response may be met with expressions that
this expectation is too hard, too high, uncomfortable, or just not practical. Regardless
of our ideas, it is biblical. Instruct the individual that if he or she goes and confronts
the oending party in person and then that person responds in a negative or
unscriptural manor that you will have a reason to go with them to speak. Ellie came to
me and said that when she spoke with you about your relationship with her you yelled
at her and stormed o... is this true? This gives you grounds to not be the Life Group
leader, but the fellow believer going with a fellow believer.

Regardless of the type of conflict, it is important to express your care for the
individuals overall well being. It is the restoration of relationships that drives believers
conflict resolution. Matthew 18 outlines the steps for confronting a brother or sister
about a problem.


It is important that you dierentiate between interpersonal conflicts and habitual
sin. Habitual sins primary target is the destruction of the individual.

Interpersonal conflicts target is the destruction of the health of the Life Group. It is true
that it is possible that an instance be both / and. More often than not, habitual sin left
unaddressed will lead to the destruction of Life Group health.

When approaching habitual sin Grace Church has outlined a process in its
constitution please reference that document for additional instructions. Some
guidelines are the following:

At first confront public sin privately, but then address it publicly

At first confront private sin privately.

When it comes to Life Group you will have problems. Many view conflict as a
failure of community. The truth is community does not reduce the frequency of
problems, but actually increases it. As we rub shoulders with one another we will soon
be confronted by things which we do not like about others or ourselves. Community
produces an arena for the Holy Spirit to sanctify His body. Problems will arise. It is
important that leaders strike a balance between the two standard responses to conflict:
Avoidance - not deal with it; and Attack- deal with it in a way that is over the top.

In the event that you do not know what to do, you as the Life Group leader have
the support of elders within Grace Church and other Life Group leaders to walk along
side you. Overall you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you and the Bible as Gods
living word. It is our desire that Gods body be healthy and a place conducive to
growth. Remember healthy does not always mean conflict free. In fact, a lack of
conflict can be an indication that someone is wearing a mask.

The Command to Go

Life Groups dier from small groups for a number of reasons. They are dierent
because they are multi generational and not organized around age or anity.
Additionally, Life Groups dier because they are mission oriented.

In Grace Church we intentionally choose to approach Life Groups as missions
rather than Bible study. What this means is that we see our Life Groups as beachheads
in our neighborhoods. Hosts are individuals who not only want to help the body by
opening their homes, but also desire to reach their neighbors for Jesus.

In order to encourage this Grace Church asks that each Life Group be involved
in their neighborhood in a tangible way once a quarter. This does not mean that this is
the only time that Life Groups are to engage their community, but it is the minimum.

The Win:

In Life Group we want to reach out to our city with the goal of our community being
exposed to the reality of life with Christ. A phrase we use is Find Hope, Find Home,
Find Him

Choosing what to do:

In choosing what to do it is good to remember that we desire God to be our ultimate
motive and not our ulterior motive. Avoid anything that is a bait and switch outreach.
An example would be inviting friends and neighbors to a cookout and then without any
prior warning begin handing out tracts once they are there. In this example people
have come over trusting that you invited them to a cook out. Instead you have invited
them to a sales pitch.

We desire to invest in our communitys life and invite them into a relationship with God.
Inviting before investing often can be a mistake. If it is your first community event
choose something that will bless people in your neighborhood or locale.

When choosing make sure it is a tangible choice. Prayer for your neighborhood is good
and is always encouraged, but we want to connect with our area in a face to face way.
Make sure your idea has a start and and end time and will be a step toward a further
end.

The goal is for our interaction to be transformational over time and not merely a
transaction.

Avoid ideas that are cultural invasions of privacy. Going into someones house when
you first meet someone is not always welcomed.

Avoid ideas that dont make sense. Imagine someone knocked on your door and
handed you what you were passing out, or asked if they could help you in the way that
you are asking to help others. Make sure you would know what exactly it is you are
asking.

If you are doing something in a neighborhood be sure to instruct the members of your
Life Group to be careful on what they say and do around individuals homes and
property. Watch out for landscaping. Use the sidewalks. Avoid compliments that
people could interpret as suspicious, Wow thats a nice TV.; How many dogs do you
have?;Do you live here by yourself? ; I see you have an alarm system.; etc.

Funding:
Grace Church has budgeted money for outreach. This money may be available upon
request. It is important to know that it is desirable that your Life Group put forward
funding additional to any money made available by the corporate body. This creates
ownership.

Funding requests should be made prior to the event unless circumstances require
immediate action.

A form is available for download on our website.

Consistency:

If you have a short amount of time, a narrow window of service, or a short amount of
supplies; focus on people with whom you already have made a first contact.
Consistency over time is a great way to build trust.

What if They Ask Why we are Doing this or Who we are?

You should not be afraid to tell people who you are. Simply say you are part of a
church in town. If they ask which church, tell them. If you act like you are hiding
something, people will think you are hiding something. Most individuals will respond
oddly to oers of service. It is not always done in our culture, however if you are with a
church that often gives them a starting point for context.

When they ask why (and they will ask), tell them why. Dont hand out a tract or preach
at them, just talk to them and tell them why you are doing what you are doing. Thats it.

Consider telling them that you pray weekly as a group and ask if there is something
that they would like your Life Group to pray for them about on a weekly basis. This also
allows you to be involved in their life in a tangible way.

What if they want to give money?

This is the natural response of someone who is being served; they want to repay you.
Our policy at Grace Church is simple, Do not take it ever. Instead inform them that

you appreciate their oer but this is your time to serve them. Remind them that you are
doing this because of what God has done for you, not to get money from them.

The Most Important Thing:

It is important that you actually do this because you love those who dont know Jesus.
Dont do this if you feel you have to partake in it or because if you dont do it you will
be looked down upon. Lost people matter to God and they should matter to you. Pray
before you go. Pray during the week leading up to the outreach, pray during the day
before. Pray during. Pray, Pray, Pray.

The Plant
It is our desire that the gospel brings us together as people, but it is also our desire that
the gospel send us out. We see our Life Group as a way to grow and spread the love
of Christ throughout our community. For this reason we want our Life Groups to
reproduce.

Leader identification:
In Grace Church we ask our Life Groups to plant when leadership is ready not based
on size. For this reason early leadership identification is essential. As a general rule
look for individuals who are leading themselves and their families well. Good self
leadership will carry over into a group. Examine their walk with Christ, their attitude
toward others, their faithfulness, their habits, and the way they spend their money.
Pray about this early in your Life Group life. Ask God to provide a leader with your help.
Ask Him to send one to your group. Seek God continually on this.

Once you identify someone who leads themselves well ask yourself if they are
Faithful: This is mostly measured by the little tasks they have in life. Are they sticking

with something? Are they around consistently? Do they demonstrate a solid walk with
God over a long time?

Available: This simply is an estimate of what their obligations are in their life. Dont
assume that just because they are involved in a lot that they would not re-prioritize for
Life Group. Sometimes the best way to determine this is to ask.

Teachable: This is a measure of how well they will receive instruction. Are they

submissive to other men in their life already? Will they respond well to correction? Do
they listen?

Preparing Your Leader

This is a task that is a combined eort between Grace Church, God, and You. Share
your responsibilities with your leader in training. Take them with you when you do
things, spend time with them. A good reproduction model is this:

I do. You watch. We talk: a time when the Leader in Training is intentionally observing
what you do in Life Group. You then get together and discuss what he saw.

I do. You help. We talk: a time when you share some responsibility with your leader in
training.

You do. I help. We talk: a time when you take a lesser role in the Life Group time and
then discuss it.

You do. I watch. We talk: a time when you observe your leader and constructively
discuss the Life Group time.

You do. I leave and go do it some where else: Congrats youve reproduced yourself!

Preparing your people

You are the facilitator at the Life Group. One of the things that you will be called on to
facilitate is the reproduction of your Life Group. Almost all people respond dierently
and at dierent pace to change.

Talk About It In Advance: Be sure to announce ahead of time that you are

Reiterate the Purpose of Multiplication: Specifically remind your Life Group

Ask Individuals to Pray: Ask your Life Group to pray about where God would
have them go as they minister to one another and in community.

Allow a Structured Time for Questions: Purposefully set aside time in a few

Have a plan in advance: Do not just split down the middle. Send out your

reaching the capacity for multiplication or that another leader is now ready to
lead a multiplication of the Life Group. Announce this weeks in advance and
repeat it. Some find three weeks enough time to process. Others require two
months to think about it.

that we do Life Groups to be a light and grow Gods church in our community.
This requires risk and a sacrifice of comfort. You are multiplying for the sake of
the people not yet present. God has great plans for using your Life Group if
you let Him.

of your Life Groups to ask questions about multiplication. People will have
them. Inform individuals that no question is too dumb or too obvious. Chances
are someone will ask what someone else is wondering about.

team with prayer and support them continually. This could mean sending a
group of 5-6 to a separate location once a month. This could then grow to

twice a month or until they are meeting on their own. Pray for them. Encourage
them. Ask for a report on what God is doing and celebrate with them. Think of
it as raising a child and getting he or she out of the nest.

And the Leader Goes Where?

While its not really written in stone, weve found that most of the time it is best if you,
the leader, leave to go with the new Life Group plant. We believe this sets up the new
host and the new leader for success. You will be partnered with a new host, and your
new leader will be in a familiar setting with an experienced host.

Celebrate

Finally, your Life Group should celebrate. Get creative. Tell stories of favorite
memories together. Allow individuals the opportunity to share what God has done in
the relationships of the Life Group. Perhaps you could have a cook out. You might want
to make the whole day a day of hanging out and fun.

Another option that can be a great catalyst for your new multiplication and new
Life Groups is to do a joint service project together. Divided into your new Life Groups
and go out separately to do the same type of ministry, then return in the evening to
share experiences and a meal. This will provide a bonding experience for the new Life
Groups and allow them to spend time talking and working together.

The End....

Seriously if youve read this far you win a prize........ Thanks for your service.
God has a plan and purpose for His Church (His people). Its our prayer that we all as
one voice can glorify Him.

Appendix A : Life Group Study Worksheet:

This is a tool to help you lead a discussion around the text that you have selected for your study.

What is the context of the passage?

To whom is it written?
What is the occasion of its writing?
What does the passage actually say? Can you identify any:
! Terms that are confusing or difficult to understand? *
! Structure.
! Emphasis.
! Repetition.
! Relationships between ideas. (Cause-and-effect, Ifs and thens, Q& As)
! Comparisons and contrasts.
! Literary form. (poetry, history, etc)
! Atmosphere. i.e. mood or tone or urgency
! Pronouns (single/plural, who exactly are they?)
What does it tell us about God?
What does it say about who He is?
About what He does?
What does this text say about us human beings?
What are we meant to be?
What has gone wrong?
What has God done about whats wrong?
What does God expect of us in the light of what He has done?
What in this text points explicitly or thematically to Jesus?
How does this text shape or view of the future?
In light of the above answers. How is God speaking to you?
Encouraged and strengthened?
Confession and Repentance?
Area to Learn and Grow?
Obstacle to remove or Step to be taken?
Truth to be shared with another?
Theme to be prayed or studied further?
*Some help for navigating difficult passages: Consider the passage of scripture doesnt mean what you
think it means; Consider your cultural bias; Consider its context in light of Christ:

Appendix B : The Swedish Method

What Shines in this Passage?

What Qs do you have?
What action should be taken?

What is good news?

Appendix C: 5 Myths about Life Groups

Myth 1. A successful Life Group will not be relationally messy.

Truth: Small groups are where the grace of God overcomes all types of relational
messiness through the blood of Jesus.

Myth2:Life Groups exist for others to meet my needs.

Truth: Life Groups exist for you to love and serve others with the love of Christ.

Myth 3. Trust and transparency take many years to cultivate in a life group.

Truth: Trust and transparency are fruits of recognizing we are all recipients of Gods
abundant grace for the forgiveness of sins.

Myth 4. Life Group members should become best friends.

Truth: Life groups are united by the blood of Christ and members of one body.

Myth 5. Life Groups should focus only on Bible study, not sharing sins or
engaging in outreach.

Truth: Life Groups focus on how the gospel of Jesus Christ transforms us as his
disciples who grow in holiness and as witnesses of His truth.

Appendix D: Keeping the Gospel Central

1. Regularly reorient your life group to see that they are members of Christrather
than members of a particular church, denomination, theological tribe, Sunday school
class, demographic (singles, married, people who adopt) or ethnic or racial
background. Put Galatians 2:20 at the forefront of your groupwe have been crucified
with Christ and now Christ lives in us.

2. Help your group set biblical expectations for fellowship/community. We may not
all hang out all the time, and we may not become best of friends, but we encourage
each other in our faith as we meet regularly to open his Word together and to help each
other testify to Jesus in our spheres of influence. We can humbly and sacrificially serve
one another because Christ has sacrificed in order that we might be brothers and
sisters in Christ.

3. Help your group see the glorious privilege to love one another and how it
witnesses to unbelievers around us. Our love for each other confirms and validates
the power of the gospel (John 13:35). The gospel takes wildly dierent people from
every walk of life and transforms them to care deeply for each other. When your small
group goes out of its way to love and pray for one another, you reveal the transforming
grace of Christ and draw in unbelievers to witness this miracle.

Appendix E: One Anothers