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31/01/2016

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Lifestyle|September09,2014

12ComebacksforDealingwithRudePeople
byOneThingNew

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31/01/2016

12ComebacksforDealingwithRudePeopleLevo

LifestyleSeptember09,2014

12ComebacksforDealingwithRudePeople
byOneThingNew
Whatdoyousaytosomeonewhoasksyouarudeorinappropriatequestion,orsayssomethingoffensive?
[Learn:CommunicatewithConfidence]
ThatwaswhatseveralfriendsaskedafterIsharedmyadviceonGettingUnstuckfromStickySituations.Whatdoyousay,theywondered,toquestionslike,Haveyou
lostweight?Howmuchmoneydoyoumake?Isthatyourrealnose?Whenareyougoingtohavechildren?andDidyoumeantowearthattoday?
Findingtherightcomebackcanbeatrickything.Assumingyoureunabletoignorethepersonorjustwalkaway,howyouhandleinappropriateremarkssaysasmuch
aboutyourowncharacterasthepersontickingyouoff.Andthecomebackchoicesarelimitediftheinsultingpersonisyourbossassumingyouwanttokeepyourjob.
[Read:MeanGirlsatWork:WhyWomenAreBullies]
Soletssayyoudontwanttohandlerudenesswithrudeness.Forme,thatmeanspassingonthetwowordexpletivethatstopofmindwhenImconfrontedwiththerude
andoffensive.Italsomeansrefrainingfromtossingoutovertlysnarkylines,suchas,Doyoukissyourmotherwiththatmouth?or,Illtrybeingnicerifyoulltry
beingmoreintelligent,or,Idontknowwhatyourproblemis,butIllbetitshardtopronounce,orIseeyouvesetasidethisspecialtimetohumiliateyourselfin
public,orIwillalwayscherishtheinitialmisconceptionsIhadaboutyou.AndyoucertainlycantusethelinethatawisecrackingGingerRogersofferedupinthe
1937filmStageDoor:Itmusthavebeenhardonyourmother,nothavinganychildren.
No,weretryingtobecivilhere.Soinstead,considerthesecomebackswhenyoureflabbergastedatthecluelessnessofthepersonstandingbeforeyou.Thesereplies
mightnotbeassatisfyingasanexpletiveorthatsnarkyrejoinder,buthopefullytheygetthejobdone.
1.Excuseme,butdidyouactuallyjustsay(Thensummarizewhattheysaid,pouringeveryounceofincredulityyoucanmusterintotheretellinginthehopesthe
otherpersonwillrealizehowinappropriatetheircommentwas.)
2.Sosorry,Iwasntlistening.Canyourepeatthat?
[Read:MastertheArtofActiveListening]
3.Right.
4.Well,Ithinkwevereachedtheendofthisconversation.
5.Whateveryousay.
6.Youdontreallyexpectmetoanswerthat,doyou?(AndiftheysayYes,Idoexpectananswer,IreferyoutoacomebacklinefromThePrincessBride:Get
usedtodisappointment.)
7.ThatsthemostpretentiousthingIveeverheard.(Thenlaugh.)
8.Yourekidding,right?Holdon.Youarekidding,right?
9.Ouch.Didyoumeantobethatrude?
10.HelpmeunderstandwhyyouthinkthatwasanappropriatethingtosayandwhyyouthinkIshouldansweryou.
11.Thankyou.Wereallrefreshedandchallengedbyyouruniquepointofview.(CourtesyofYahooAnswers).
12.Myapologies.IdontspeakEnglish.
Fortherecord,Ihatedbeingasked,Whenareyougoingtohavechildren?afterIgotmarried.WhileItsnoneofyourbusiness,is,inmyopinion,aperfectlyvalid
response,Iusuallyofferedup,Whendoyouneedtoknowby?ThoughIhavetosaythatGingerRogerslinewasverytempting.

Editorsnote:ThisarticlewasoriginallypublishedonOneThingNewandweatLevofullyadmitthatsomeoftheseresponsescouldbetakenas,well,blunt.Tothatend,
wewantedtoaddafewofourfavoriteLevoapprovedcommunityresponses.
13.Oh!Enoughaboutme!Whathaveyoubeenuptolately?Iftheypersist,abriefIdrathernotsayshouldbeenough.Smilingbroadly,ofcourse!
14.IthinkthatwasabitrudeorYoujustoffendedmemightbeabitmorepoliteandeffective.
15.Imsureyoudidntmeanforthatquestiontoberude/intrusive/inappropriate,butthatshowitsounded.Butevenlessconfrontationalwouldbetojustblink,
andpolitelysay(withablandexpression)excuseme?Thenwait.Usuallytheyrealizetheirblunder,andeitherapologizeortrytoblowpasttheirembarrassing
moment.
16.Idontreallyknowhowtoanswerthat.Simple,tothepoint.
Whatdoyouthink?Addyourcomebacktothecommentsbelow.
Photo:Thinkstock
Topics:coworkers,lifestyle2,personality
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22Comments

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1mo
KishaCanipe
IhadthishappenonChristmasday,wasn'tsurehowtohandleaquestionthrowntomeinapopulatedareaandoneladywhomhadALOTofopinionIamnotevensure
ofhernamemuchlesswhyItookasecondtoentertainher,butifIhadittodooverIwouldsayletsmakethisagroupconversationpleasegroupleaders,andthenask
everyonehowtheyhandletheirhealthsituationssincesomelikebeer,otherscigarettes,andopiodsandonandoneachtothierownwayofhandlingtheirstorm,yaknow
mygrandmahidusinaclosetwhenitthunderedIlikedancingintherainsoduringourdailyunhelpfultherapyletsallowtheonethatiswithoutsinorsicknesslead,so
jesushasallowedmetorealizepeoplethatlookdownthiernoseatothersaretoobusynotreflectingontheirownlife..Don'tgetmewrongifIwasinanywaydancingon
tablesbeingdisrespecting,IwouldneedacallingdownbutwhenyouwalkupandasksomeonecanIhelpyousinceyourhurtingandtheyturnitaroundyourthebadguy
IwouldsaygetaDr.appt
Reply

2mo
SherylPieroni
funarticle.andfunfeed.thankyou.
Reply

7mo
AlexandraDowling
Ilovethisone!
Reply

7mo
ClaireneHunt
Ialwaystrytoremainhumorouslysnarkyandreplysarcastically.ButIdolovesomeofthese.
Reply

8mo
ArianeMandel
mypersonalfavorite.Armscrossed,stare."Iunderstandyoufeelthatway.Thankyouforlettingmeknow."Morestaring.Don'tbreakeyecontact,becausethenitisall
over.Thepersonyouarestaringatwillslowlybackaway.
Reply

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8mo
Anonymous
luekhemmingsisrllyceut
Reply

8mo
Anonymous
thesearebyfarthelamestcomebacksever
Reply

8mo
AnneUrbananer
Ilovetorespondwith..."I'llPrayforyou"
Reply

11mo
DeannaGraves
MymotheralwaystoldmetosimplystareatthemwithasmilethatcouldfreezefireforasuitablyawkwardamountoftimeThensaysomethingalongthelinesofSo...
(andbluntlychangethesubjecte.g.IhearyourdaughterwasjustacceptedtoStamford..)
Reply

11mo
Anonymous
Ilove#9.ThatwouldbeallIwouldneedtosay!
Reply

1y
Anonymous
Mymotheralwaystaughtmetoturnitaroundandsay,"Whydoyouask?"andthenwaitforthemtofalter.
Reply

1y
Anonymous
Ithinkthelastfourareabitrubbish
Reply

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12ComebacksforDealingwithRudePeopleLevo

1y
Anonymous
AmanIhadknownforanhour,askedmewhenIwasgoingtohavechildren.Ilookedoverathisdaughter,thensaid:"I'mnot.Idon'tlikechildren.".
Itwasabitmean,buttherewerenofollowupquestions.
Reply

1y
Anonymous
Ratherthansaying"Idon'tspeakEnglish,"try"Idon'tunderstandthatdialect"
Reply

1y
Anonymous
Sorry,I'llgooldschoolandusetheeverobnoxious2wordexpletive
Reply

1y
Anonymous
Iagree...respondingwithsnark,evenifyouthinkyou'rebeinghumorous,wouldbejustasrudeastheoriginalcomment.Howaboutturningthingsaroundandsaying
"Oh!Enoughaboutme!Whathaveyoubeenuptolately?"Iftheypersist,abrief"I'drathernotsay"shouldbeenough.Smilingbroadly,ofcourse!
Reply

1y
MoniqueTatum
Orhowaboutsimplysaying"Ithinkthatwasabitrude"or"Youjustoffendedme"thatmightbeabitmorepoliteandalsomuchmoreeffective.
Reply

1y
MoniqueTatum
Orhowaboutjustsaying.Ithinkthatwasrude.OrImsorrybutthatoffendedme.Ithinkthatmightbeabiteasier.
Reply

1y
Anonymous
Wow...yeah,IagreewithRina.Mostofthosecomebacksarepolite.Infact,justbycallingthem"comebacks",itimpliesthatyou'retryingtooneuptheperson,andinsult
them,butlookalittlemorecontrolledwhiledoingit.Atrulypolitereplywouldbe"I'msureyoudidn'tmeanforthatquestiontoberude/intrusive/inappropriate,butthat's
howitsounded."Butevenlessconfrontationalwouldbetojustblink,andpolitelysay(withablandexpression)"excuseme?"Thenwait.Usuallytheyrealizetheir
blunder,andeitherapologizeortrytoblowpasttheirembarrassingmoment.Youhaven'tbeenconfrontational,youhaven'tdeliberatelyhumiliatedthem,andhopefully
they'velearnedalesson.Youknow,somepeoplejustweren'ttaughtsocialgraces,andhumiliatingthemdoesn'tteachthemathing.
Reply

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12ComebacksforDealingwithRudePeopleLevo

1y
Anonymous
Oops...ImeantareNOTpolite.

1y
RinaLiddle
Iwouldneverusetheabovesuggestions,Ifindthemtobequiterudetoo.Myfavouriteresponseis:Isthatarhetoricalquestion?Or:Idon'treallyknowhowtoanswer
that.
Reply

1y
ErnestoIzquierdo
Here'sanotherreply:"Canwedoashortexercise?Let'schangepositionsforaminute:howwouldyoufeelifitwasmeinyourshoes,youinmine,andItoldyouwhat
youjustsaidtome."
Reply
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