Arranged Marriages in Pakistan outline

I.

II.

III.

Purpose and definition

a. Purpose - How are they decided?
i. Generally, the marriage stands as an alliance between families
in addition to the normal union between husband and wife.
ii. They are often arranged within the family or within the same
community or ethnicity.
1. Marriage with an extended relative, such as a first cousin,
is decreasing in popularity, but used to be much more
frequent.
iii. Social and educational status are very important in deciding an
arrangement.
iv. Love marriages are becoming more frequent, which allows
arranged marriages to be more flexible than in the past.
1. Semi-arranged marriages
2. Consent of the engaged
3. Etc.
Statistics and overview
a. Stats
i. Worldwide stats
1. 55% of the marriages in the world are arranged marriages
2. In India, 90% of the marriages are arranged.
a. Divorce rate in India is just 1.1%
3. 48% of the girls in an arranged marriage in South Asia are
under 18 years old.
4. On average, arranged marriages have a divorce rate of
just 4%.
ii. Success 2003 study (according to Sekho.com.pk)
1. Fully arranged marriage
a. 77% success
2. Semi-arranged marriage
a. 89% success
3. Love marriage
a. 60% success
4. Stats were from a Pakistani student-created site, so may
be biased statistics
a. However, success trends were reciprocated by Dr.
William Cornell of the University of Florida.
Process
a. Formalities and Customs
i. Vary according to the individual arrangements, but still follow
some generalities.
ii. There is a lot of varying information, due to the modern social
flexibility that Pakistan currently has.
1. Order of events
2. Some events are now unnecessary and are bypassed
b. Events

i. Proposal
1. Proposal Party
a. A reception held by both families parents and
elders.
b. Generally held at the bride-to-bes house, and
typically without the groom present.
c. Theres usually refreshments and occasionally a
recitation of the Qurans first chapter: Surah Fatiha.
d. May also include a good-will dowry.
2. Engagement (Maniyaan/Maiyaan)
a. Not an Islamic requirement, but is a more Western
tradition.
b. Can be formal or informal, varying in location and
feel.
ii. Pre-wedding
1. Dholki
a. Gathering of women at the brides house to sing
and dance.
b. There are generally instruments, with the
attendees playing them.
c. Customs differ, but it is common for each family to
hold their own respective dholki, but they do not
attend each others dholki nights.
2. Mehndi
a. Henna ceremony
iii. Wedding day
1. Mahr
a. A mandatory payment in money or possessions,
similar in purpose to a deposit or collateral paid by
the groom to the bride.
2. Baraat
a. Procession of the groom and his family, relatives,
and friends as they go to the brides home for the
ceremony.
3. Nikah (Nikkah)*
a. For Muslims, the ceremony itself; also includes a
contract signing.
4. Wedding
5. Showing of the face (Munh Dikhai)*
a. A custom in which the groom brushes back the
brides veil, seeing her face for the first time.
b. Traditionally occurs in private at the suhag raat, but
eventually became a public symbol.
6. Rukhsati
a. The sending-off where the groom and his family
will leave together with the bride.
b. Quran is normally held over the brides head as
she walks to the exit.
iv. Post-Wedding

1. Sharb-i-Zifaf (Suhag Raat)

a. Wedding night, lit. golden night
b. Munh Dikhai (showing of the face) may sometimes
occur here in private instead of at the wedding
reception.
2. Walima
a. A reception thrown by the grooms family
b. It is to signify the public reception of the marriage.
c. This is more traditionally flexible than the previous
events, allowing for a more Western approach to a
wedding.
i. Non-ethnic clothing
ii. Cake cutting
iii. Etc.
3. Makhlawa
a. Bride returns to her parents home with her
husband, and they stay for a few days.
b. A series of dinner parties may follow, as guests
come to visit the newlyweds.
c. This system can last up to even a year after the
marriage.
IV.

V.

Other facts
a. Polygyny
i. A subset of polygamy with the limitation that only the male may
have multiple spouses.
ii. Marriage Act of 1965
iii. Occurs with written consent of first wife
iv. Up to four wives
v. Azhar Haidri and wives
1. Married two women in the same day
a. Had an arranged marriage and a love marriage in
response to his dilemma in choosing one of the
two.
b. Mass weddings
i. Government arranges mass weddings with attendance of
occasionally hundreds of couples
ii. For poorer citizens
References

https://innerreflectionstranscribed.wordpress.com/2008/07/22/pakistaniweddings-marriage-customs-and-traditions-part-1-maniyaan-dholki/
http://userpages.umbc.edu/~jabbas1/ja403/mus_wedd.htm
http://www.datehookup.com/singles-content-pakistani-wedding-traditions.htm
http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/walima.htm
http://www.sociable7.com/2014/11/06/pakistani-wedding-traditions/

http://www.rewaj.pk/weddings/wedding-in-pakistan.html
http://perfectmuslimwedding.com/10-muslim-wedding-events
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_in_Pakistan

Stats
http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/spring07/zuffoletti/love.html
http://sekho.com.pk/pakistan/arranged-marriage-in-pakistan/