EN11
A&B
Thesis due
Outline checked
Wednesday,
February 24
Thursday,
February 25
Write essay
in class
Friday, February
26
Essay Topic. Lord of the Flies is more than a simple adventure story of boys on a
deserted island. The implications of the story go far beyond the savage degeneration of
a few boys. William Golding is saying something about his own epiphany on the nature
of humankind, and it comes directly out of his own experience in war. Golding explains it
like this: The theme is an attempt to trace the defects of society back to the defects of
human nature. You will write a thesis statement that explores Goldings purpose and
explains how it is achieved in the story. You may choose to discuss characterization,
plot, symbolism, irony, historical setting, etc.
1. Idea Web. Your first step is to brainstorm a variety of things that you know about
LOTF. Take a piece of paper, write LOTF in the centre, then branch off with ideas,
symbols, and moments from the novel. The objective here is to capture pieces of the
story that you connected with and identify areas where you made meaning. Each
related idea will also have branches. Keep related ideas together.
2. Craft a thesis statement. Your thesis statement is a 1-2 sentence summary of what
you will prove in your essay. It is a map of where youre headedto help you
organize your ideas and to help your reader follow your train of thought. Crafting a
thesis takes intentional thought and practice, but you can do this. If you like
formulas, heres one that works:
Author & title of book + authors purpose + 3 main points = thesis
See the thesis statements below as examples of format. Notice how each example
gives a title/author, purpose, and three ways this purpose will be proved. A thesis is
usually one sentence, but can be twofocus on clarity and efficiency of wording.
Because this is for a formal literary essay, you wont use I or you. Its more
acceptable to use we, if necessary. The idea behind this rule is that you arent
giving your opinionyou are saying whats really going on in the book, and doing so
objectively, with support for your claims from the book. Notice how each thesis
meets the requirements, but does so differently. There are many ways to do this.
STEP 2. Find three pieces of support. Once you have your purpose identified, find
three main ideas that you will use to prove this. Scan your web and your packet.
How could the ideas that you collected prove your purpose? Think: how can you
talk about whats interesting to you in LOTF and prove your thesis at the same
time? You have to be crafty!
Phrase as three main ideas. You need to craft these three main points in a way
that will allow you to expand on each of them. They need to be concrete, main
ideas, but not specific details. Note the difference. Remember, each main idea
will eventually become at least an entire paragraphwith quotes and much more
specific, detailed support. List your three main points in the order that you will
eventually explain them.
o Youve done this before. Remember our work on the topic of dystopia?
This is exactly how you build a thesis! Together, we explored a variety of
specific ways LOTF was becoming dystopian. Then we grouped similar
ideas together. We found a way to describe each group of ideas (see
underlined words below). There are infinite ways to phrase this! Your three
main points could be captured as individual words, phrases, or key ideas
of the novel.
Example thesis: In Lord of the Flies, William Golding creates a
dystopia through showing the physical, emotional, and spiritual
decay of boys stranded on a deserted island.
Each main
point should
come from
the list in
your thesis
statement! If
you revise a
main point,
remember to
update your
thesis.
For background,
quickly summarize
main plot. Do not
try to explain the
whole story.
Your outline is a requirement, due tomorrow. You will be allowed to use this to write
your essay on Friday, IF I am able to review your outline tomorrow. Print a copy and
bring it to class.
MLA Formatting Requirements. Your essay will be written in class with specific
formatting requirements: font size 12, Times or Times New Roman, 1-inch margins. The
essay should be double-spaced, but do not skip lines between paragraphs. Create a
header that numbers all pages consecutively in the upper right-hand corner, one-half
inch from the top and flush with the right margin. The essay must be at least two, no
more than four pages long.
1st Page Info and Header. Dont make a title pagewe use enough paper already.
Create a header that numbers all pages consecutively in the upper right-hand
corner, one-half inch from the top and against the right margin (In Word, go Insert,
then Header)
Provide a double-spaced heading in the top
Brown 1
left corner of the first page that lists your name,
your teacher's name, the course, and the date.
Mary Brown
Ms. Vande Kraats
Centre a title below the heading, and
EN11B
begin your paper immediately below the title.
02/26/16
Goldilocks and Civics 101
Victor Bargos story Goldilocks and the Three Bears
CAUTION. A literary essay is not about your
may be a long-cherished fable, but on closer inspection it
opinion. Avoid using the word I. You, of course,
proves to be a tale of tresspassing, self-indulgence, and
are free to privately agree or disagree with William
Goldings ideas. In this essay, however, you need
to show me that you understand Goldings purpose in writing LOTF. You need to
explain how he shows the books themes and ideas.
WORKS CITED.
You will include all your sources in your alphabetized works cited list. A source is any
materialbooks, websites, etc.that you depend on for information in your essay.
Create this in MLA format.
Its best to use the References tab in Word because you will be able to do
parenthetical citations more easily (see below). Choose MLA format.
OR use a works cited generator like Bibme.com, but double-check that the
information they automatically generate is mostly filled out. Choose MLA format.
Title of
book in
italics
Nearest city of
publication
Publisher, followed by
the most recent year
of publication.
LONG QUOTES. If your quoted passage takes up five lines or more when it appears in
type, you must introduce the quote with a colon and begin the quote on a new line,
indented two tabs. Do not use quotation marks to introduce a long quote. In the
example below, note how the citation for a long quote is different.
BRACKETS. Use brackets and an ellipses [] if you leave out part of the quote. Also
use brackets if you have to substitute a different word for clarity. Brackets [ ] are
different from parentheses (). Writers use parentheses to insert comments that are
aside from the main point, like I do in the next sentence. (This is important stuff!) If you
use parenthesis inside a quote, your reader will assume the parenthetical material came
from the author you are quoting, not from you.
In Goldings world, even the most innocent boys are at risk of a consuming savagery that
seeks the right to control others and impose suffering on them. Henry, a littlun, has very little
control, but he enjoys it to the fullest:
[Henry] poked about with a bit of stick [] and tried to control the motions of the
The original
quote begins
with He. I
have
substituted the
name Henry
for clarity.
scavengers. He made little runnels that the tide filled and tried to crowd them with
creatures. He became absorbed beyond mere happiness as he felt himself
exercising control over living things. He talked to them, urging them, ordering
them. Driven back by the tide, his footprints became bays in which they were
trapped and gave him the illusion of mastery. (61)
THE PARAGRAPH
To be well organized, pay attention to your paragraphs! These are the building blocks of
the essay. Basically, each paragraph should contain and flesh out a main idea from the
outline. Tips:
topic
sentence
The first (introductory) paragraph should announce clearly the purpose of the
essay and list your main points in the order that you will explain them.
Each paragraph should be at least a quarter to a half page in length, but not too
long or the reader will get lost.
Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes its one main
idea. The paragraph should not trail off into other ideas. Be organized!
Each paragraph should have the same basic structure.
1. Start by stating your main point
2. Next, provide evidence of your main point (a quote or summary).
3. Finally, explain your evidence. Why does your evidence explain your point?
Scout learns more valuable lessons through experience than through her formal
education. At school, she is not allowed to learn naturally. In fact, Miss Caroline restricts her
reading habits. Although she learns the word democracy at school, Scout
witnesses the failure of the justice system when Tom Robinson is tried and found
evidence &
examples w/
explanation
guilty. After Bob Ewells attack, Scout learns the necessity of bending the law for a
higher cause. That night she lives Atticuss advice of learning to stand in another persons shoes.
For the first time, she treats Boo with dignity, escorting him home arm in arm. After standing on
the Radley porch, she says there wasnt much else left for us to learn, except possibly algebra
(279). Clearly, algebra is the less important lesson.
Quotes. Do not use a quote unless you explain it! Always explain who said it,
why it is significant and how it contributes to the point you are making. A quote
should NEVER be included without proper explanation. It is your job to explain or
elaborate on evidence in order to make it meaningful.
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Transitions & End Focus. So how do you move from one idea to the next?
When writing does this well, we say it has strong transitions or smooth flow.
Heres the trick: sentences often say the most important thing last. The next
sentence picks up that idea and then connects it to a new idea, and so on. Its
like playing dominoes. The challenge is to make clear transitions without
sounding like a 3-year old who repeats himself. Its important to use a variety of
vocabulary. Also, use transitional words: however, since, although,
regardless, as a result. Transitional words can be used anywhere, but theyre
most important when moving from one paragraph to the next.
MECHANICS
1. Homophones: their, there, theyre, its, its, to, two, too
It was their fault. (possessive)
Simon was not there. There were three people climbing the mountain.
Theyre all in fear of the beast. (contraction for they are)
Ralph listened to Piggy. Piggy said too much about his two health problems.
2. Numbers. All numbers between one and nine should be spelled out, except when
giving age, listing measurements (e.g. metres, feet, inches), or telling time. Always
spell a number if you begin a sentence with it.
Twelve-year-old boys battled for control of one tribe and about 50 acres.
3. Fragmented sentences.
X Littluns were afraid of many things. Of the dark, the creepers, and the beast.
Littluns were afraid of many thingsof the dark, the creepers, and the beast.
4. Run-on sentences.
X The littluns ate unripe fruit and they suffered the consequences.
The littluns ate unripe fruit, and they suffered the consequences.
5. Comma splices.
X The littluns ate unripe fruit, they suffered the consequences.
The littluns ate unripe fruit; they suffered the consequences.
The littluns ate unripe fruit. They suffered the consequences.
6. Missing or extra apostrophes. Apostrophes are only used to show possession or
a contraction. Possessive pronouns (hers, theirs, its) dont need apostrophes.
7. Pronouns and Antecedents. Before you use a pronoun (he, she, him, her, his,
hers, they, them, theirs, it, its), it must be clear who/what youre talking about.
Pronouns replace a noun. The antecedent of your pronoun is the noun being
replaced. The antecedent must come first, preferably, in the same sentence. Avoid
beginning a sentence with a pronoun, unless the previous sentence makes it
absolutely clear who or what you are talking about. Never begin a paragraph with a
pronoun.
antecedent
antecedent
pronoun
pronoun
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Before Ralph begins an assembly, he calls the boys to it by blowing the conch.
In the following student excerpt, pronouns are mostly clear in sentences 1-2, though it
would help to combine those sentences to make antecedents absolutely clear. In
sentences 4 and 5, the bolded pronouns do not have clear antecedents.
1
Towards the end, Ralph has no one left in his tribe except Piggy and Samneric.
3 Jack
They
expecting, who
lacked protection?
WORD CHOICE
Use formal vocabulary. Choose intelligent words that reflect depth of thought.
1. Be objective & specific. Avoid slang, vague words, or value judgements.
X Jack is just very mean and an idiotic jerk. Simon is like, so shy and totally good.
Jack is a dictator. Simon is a shy Christ-figure.
Avoid the following empty
modifiers: like, very, so,
just, and totally. These
2. Avoid contractions. Spell out both words.
words actually dilute your
X cant, theyre, its
main point and distract your
cannot, they are, it is
reader.
3. Avoid internet talk
X Jack rolls rocks and kills pigs because YOLO!
Jack rolls rocks and kills pigs without much concern for rescue.
4. Pronoun agreement & gendera singular subject must have a matching singular
pronoun. Always attempt inclusive language (dont exclude women if you mean to
include them).
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POOR:
Man does not realize their own nature.
BETTER: Man does not realize his own nature.
BEST:
Strong Words. Strong word choice isnt about using fancy vocab from the thesaurus;
its about using the best word for the job. Never use a word you dont know. Use specific
and accurate verbs and nouns in the active voice. Avoid an abundance of unnecessary
words (wordiness). Get to the point.
Active: subject + verb + object.
Passive: object + BE verb phrase + BY phrase (this may be absent, but implied)
Passive: Piggys glasses are taken by Jacks tribe.
Passive: Piggys glasses are taken.
Forms of be (are,
is, was, were, been)
are weak &
overused. They
often are part of
unnecessary
wordy clauses.
Revise such
wordiness.
Substitute an active
verb that gives
specifics whenever
possible.
Be
specific.
What
events? X
What
thing?
X Lord of the Flies is about boys between the ages of 6 and 12 who crash, ending
up on an island which has no other people on it.
In Lord of the Flies, young boys crash onto a deserted island.
X Gradually, Ralphs power comes to Jack.
Gradually, Ralphs power shifts to Jack.
Use the most specific verb. In this case,
power doesnt just come; it shifts
from one leader to the next.
Strong word
choice means
using the fewest
number of words
to get to the point
quickly and
effectively.
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