If I had to give myself a grade it would be around an 85-90, I worked really hard on my thesis

paper but I know that there is always room for improvement.

Heena Dulull
Mrs.Thomas
English 1102
11 April 2016
Reflection:
I really enjoyed writing this thesis paper mainly because I feel like more of it was in my
own words and my experiences. I felt like it had my own voice in it and made the paper more
me. Many people might agree or disagree with many of the points made but thats just fine
because everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

College Students in Relationships

College alone can be quite stressful, with classes, trying to maintain a social life and
maybe even a part time job. Many college students might even be in a committed relationship on
top of all this. Being in a relationship during college can be a good thing for many people. A
significant other can be your source of comfort when times are getting rough. Dating in college
for me has affected me in different ways good and bad. Its always nice to have someone around
but when things arent going so well, it can really affect me and sometimes cause me to perform
poorly in school.

Many say entering college while in a relationship isnt a good idea. You dont bring sand
to the beach. Yes, you mightve dated this person throughout high school but people change as
they get older and become someone you wouldve never guessed. For me, my boyfriend and I
are currently now attending the same university. We dated throughout high school and decided to
attend the same college. Its not bad at all, weve grown much closer and motivate each other to
do well in school, and were both willing to help each other with school work and anything else
we might need. Of course relationships arent always perfect. When an argument breaks out, it
really affects me. I wish it didnt, but Im sure many other couples feel the same way.
I agree with many people that dating in college is hard and that if youre worried about
getting hurt then remaining single is probably the best way to go. But I think it also matters on
the relationship itself. There are no perfect relationships but I would say there could be bad
relationships. In the article "Maintaining Healthy Relationships in College it goes in great detail
on how couples communicate differently then back in the day. Nowadays more relationships
rely on technology when it comes to dating. If you are using technology instead of interacting
with your peers who are right in front of you that is a red flag that technology is interfering with
your personal relationships.(Quinn). When communicating with technology the main thing
missing is body language, through a text message its impossible to know how the person
actually feels.
Healthy relationships are not perfect relationships, I used to think just because two people
seem happy that doesnt mean they are. Many times people thing I have the perfect relationship
but that is far from true. There are many times where I wanted to give up on my 4 year
relationship because I just didnt have it in me anymore. I didnt want to hurt and feel pain. But
when you really love someone, youre willing to stay and make it work. Some people call it

crazy or shes being stupid but if youre able to get past whatever it is pushing you down, it
might just work.
I disagree with abusive relationships. I feel like if someone is physically abusing you then
thats not true love. I know many people that might hate me for saying this. I was never
physically abused but I had a close friend that was. The abuse went on for almost a year then
finally stopped, I wasnt aware of the abuse while it was happening. The guy continues to cheat
on his girlfriend. I believe many people dont change their bad habits. Honestly its just hard to
change a person, everyone believes they can change someone of their bad habits but if that
person isnt willing to change, theres no way.
In college many people to me start dating too fast without getting to know each other. The
best thing to do, is take a few months and really get to know someone before committing to a
relationship. If someone wants a meaningful relationship they will show you that. Many times in
college you meet someone at a party when they might be under the influence. Theres many
different ways to meet people without partying. Joining clubs and even Greek life can be really
helpful with finding friends. Dont limit yourself and keep an opened mind.
As I pondered on this topic and researching articles for my paper I came across article
titled Maintaining healthy relationships in college. This article talks about the lack of
communication skills between someone couples. Without the ability to communicate desires
and set rules about relationships and communication styles, it is a setup for conflict. Many times
in relationships, one partner may rely heavily on technologies to communicate (Quinn). I
noticed in my relationship communication was more over text messages than actual face to face
interaction. So I decided verbally discussing our problems was a much better fix than over the
phone. Speaking up about certain things that may bother you can also help find solutions to a

problem. Many times letting things slide causes a bigger problem. I sometimes felt like I was
being annoying, so instead of bringing up every small thing, I waited to see if it felt a rush of
irritation and if my body started stressing about the problem, if that happens then I bring it up, if
not I let it go. There are many other things that can have a huge affects on many relationships
and its in our everyday lives, Social media.

Social media plays a huge role in relationships these days. Twitter, snapchat, Facebook
and Instagram all play a role in relationships. Many times couples may break up because of
something they saw off social network. In the article "How Facebook Affects Our
Relationships it describes the different ways social media affects relationships. Social media can
be another way of communication, which could also lead to cheating and talking to other people
without one knowing. Its also a way of everyone seeing that youre in a relationship and taken.
So it puts a title on the relationship. Some couples might not post as many pictures of their
relationship on social media that could be because they are more private or that the relationship
might not have a title. This can raise confusion and conflict between the two. Sometimes this can
also lead to a break up, if one partner refuses to make is Facebook official. Usually to a women
this means that the relationship must be taken seriously but to the men this implies to everyone
else knowing that this female is taken and is now in a relationship (Seidman). For some
relationships having trust can make or break a relationship.

Trust is a must in a relationship. Without trust there is no relationship. Not having a trust
in a relationship could cause many problems between the couple. It leads to stress and sometimes
breakups. When someone in a relationship doesnt trust their partner it just leads to trouble. The
partner doesnt want their significant other going out because they may not really know where

their partner is really going (Khazan). In the article "Why College Students Need a Class in
Dating states that maybe having a class on dating may prevent some mistakes when dating in a
long term relationships. Sometimes young teenagers are only thinking about themselves and may
not realize some of their actings might hurt someone else. Theres usually a reason why one
might not trust someone, sometimes it could be from a bad experience or one lying to the other.
Lying in a relationship breaks trust tremendously. Sometimes I wonder how someone can look
you in the eye and lie to you without feeling any guilt. No matter how bad the truth might be that
person deserves to know. My experience with trust is when my ex-boyfriend lied to me about
hanging out with girls he knew I wasnt comfortable with, it might sound like something small to
many people, but that was something that really hurt me. He knew exactly how I felt about those
girls and didnt care to tell me. After a few months passed I ran into one of the girls and she told
me. I was honestly so broken. I confronted him and gave him so many opportunities to tell me
the truth and he continued to lie to my face, he never felt bad for hurting me. After that I couldnt
trust him, I tried hard too but couldnt. I knew deep down this relationship wasnt meant to be
and that it was time to let go. Without trust there is no relationship.

Many times while dating in college, you might share the same group of friends, this could
be a good thing and a bad thing. A video on youtube "Dating in College! - The Do's and Don'ts of
Your College Career does a great job on describing different scenarios on what might or might
not happen in a relationship if things turn for the worse. When sharing the same group of friends
its easier to hang out with one another more in larger groups and many times the bigger the
group the more fun everyone has (Manwaring).You guys both share the same friends so everyone
knows each other and everyone knows that you two are dating and off the market. But sometimes
things can turn for the worst. If you two break up, the friend group can become awkward if

things end on a bad term. Every time you all hang out, you know your ex will also be there and
its almost impossible to avoid (DormCoVideo). My personal experience with sharing the same
group of friends with someone I dated ended badly. My boyfriend at the time met my best friend,
they became really good friends, too good. What started off as a friendship between them turned
into something more and I couldnt stop it. He ended up leaving me for her. After that I was
heartbroken, now I dont trust anyone when it comes to my relationship. You never know what
can happen and many times its out of your hands. So always pick your friends wisely.

A good thing about being in a relationship is over time that person can sometimes can
become your best friend. You become to know everything about that person and maybe over time
start sharing the same interests in many things. A bond between two people in love is hard to
break (Quinn-Szcesuil). That person makes you so happy that when they arent always around
you feel like a huge part of you is missing.

College relationships can be a good thing and sometimes a bad thing for many people.
You shouldnt be afraid to get involved in a relationship, it can be managed to an extent. It brings
the best and sometimes the worst in people. Maintaining a healthy strong relationship in college
is a challenge but having someone to go through difficult times with you shows you if that
person really does care for you. Its actually a good thing to have someone by your side that
makes you happy and appreciate the little things in life.

Work Cited

DormCoVideo. "Dating in College! - The Do's and Don'ts of Your College Career." YouTube.
YouTube, 16 July 2013. Web. 29 Mar. 2016.

Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D. "How Facebook Affects Our Relationships." Psychology

Today. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Feb. 2016. Print.

Khazan, Olga. "Why College Students Need a Class in Dating." The Atlantic. Atlantic
Media Company, 2 July 2014. Web. 15 Mar. 2016.

Manwaring, Katie. "College Advice: Dating & Relationships." YouTube. YouTube, 27

July 2012. Web. 28 Mar. 2016.

Quinn-Szcesuil, Julia. "Maintaining Healthy Relationships in College." Maintaining

Healthy Relationships in College. Web. 15 Mar. 2016.