14 TIPS TO RAISING GREAT CHILDREN

Allah

bringing up children

family

islam

muslim parents

Prophet Muhammad

14 Tips to Raising Great Children

Source: Hilalplaza / 4 Feb 2013

Children are easily influenced by their surroundings. These days, it is extremely
diffi cult to expose our children to an ideal Islamic environment given the influences
from media, friends and even other members of the family.
With television, radio, Internet and forms of media mostly touting un-Islamic values, it
is up to parents and adults close to the children to set the correct example.
It is impossible to shield our children from all the negative forces that can shape their
minds and, ultimately, their behavior.
However, by our own example and showing them better options, we can set them on
the true path, which is to obey the commandments of Allah (SWT) and our Holy Prophet
Muhammad (may Allahs peace and blessings be upon him).
Here are some tips you may want to follow in helping your children grow up with
Islamic values.
1. Start by teaching them the importance of Worshipping only Allah: The best
thing any Muslim parent could ever teach their children is to emphasize, from the day
they can comprehend, that Allah (SWT) is One and no one is worthy of worship except
Allah (SWT). This is the fundamental message of our Holy Prophet Muhammad (may
Allahs peace and blessings be upon him) and it is our key to Paradise.
2. Treat them kindly: Kindness begets kindness. If we were kind to our children, they
in turn would show kindness to others. Our Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allahs
peace and blessings be upon him) was the best example in being kind to children.

3. Teach them examples of Muslim heroes:Instead of Batman or Superman, tell

them about real heroes such as Ali bin Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) and
others Muslims heroes. Tell them how Muslim leaders brought a real peaceful change in
the world and won the hearts of Muslims and non-Muslims alike.
4. Let children sit with adults:It is preferable for children to be among adults,
especially when listening to Islamic lectures. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allahs
peace and blessings be upon him) would often put children in the front row when he
spoke to the people.
5. Make them feel important:Consult them in family matters. Let them feel they are
important members of the family and have a part to play in the growth and well-being
of the family.
6. Go out as a family:Take family trips rather than allowing your children to always
go out only with their friends. Let your children be around family and friends from
whom you want them to pick up their values. Always remember that your children will
become who they are around with most of the time. So, watch their company and
above all give them YOUR Company.
7. Praise them:Praise is a powerful tool with children, especially in front of others.
Children feel a sense of pride when their parents praise them and will be keen to
perform other good deeds. However, praise must be limited to Islamic deeds and deeds
of moral value.
8.Avoid humiliation: Similarly, do not humiliate them in front of others. Children
make mistakes. Sometimes, these mistakes occur in their efforts to please the parents.
If you are unhappy with your children, tell them in private.
9. Sports:The Holy Prophet Muhammad (may Allahs peace and blessings be upon
him)encouraged sports such as swimming, running and horse riding. Other sports that
build character and physical strength are also recommended, as long as the children
maintain their Islamic identity, wear appropriate clothes and do not engage in
unnecessary mixing.
10.Responsibility: Have faith in their abilities to perform tasks. Give them chores to
do in line with their age. Convince them that they are performing an important function
and you will find them eager to help you out again.
11. Dont spoil them:Children are easily spoiled. If they receive everything they ask
for, they will expect you to oblige on every occasion. Be wise in what you buy for them.
Avoid extravagance and unnecessary luxuries. Take them to an orphanage or poor area
of your city once in a while so they can see how privileged they are.
12. Dont be friends:It is common in the West for parents to consider their children
as friends. In Islam, it doesnt work that way. If you have ever heard how friends talk to
each other, then you will know that this is not how a parent-child relationship should
be. You are the parents, and they should respect you, and this is what you should be
teaching them. The friendship part should be limited to you and them keeping an open
dialog so they can share their concerns with you and ask you questions when they have
any.
13.Pray with them: Involve them in acts of worship. When they are young, let them
see you in act of salaah (salat). Soon, they would be trying to imitate you. Wake them
up for Fajr and pray as a family. Talk to them about the rewards of salaah so that it
doesnt feel like a burden to them.
14.Emphasize halal: It is not always good to say this is haraam that is
haraam. While you must educate them on haram things, Islam is full of halaal and
tell your children to thank Allah (SWT) for the bounties He has bestowed on them- not
just for food and clothes. Tell them to be thankful for having eyes that see, ears that
hear arms and legs and, the ultimate blessing, Islam in their hearts.

Set an example: As parents, you are the best example the children can have.
If you talk to your parents rudely, expect your children to do the same to you.
If you are disrespectful to others, your children will follow too. Islam is filled
with Divine advice on the best ways to bring up your children. That makes it
an obligation upon parents to be good Muslims so their children will try to
emulate them. If you dont take Islam seriously, neither will your children. It
goes back to our third point, which is to give them Islamic heroes. As a
parent, you should be their number one hero.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

The Islamic Way to Raise the Children

(Friday speech was delivered by Imam Mohamed Baianonie at Islamic Center of Raleigh, N.C, on January
1, 1988)

Allah (S.W.T.) has entrusted parents with their children. Parents bear the
responsibility to raise their children in the Islamic way. If they do that they will
be blessed in this life and in the Hereafter, and if they don't, they will get bad
result during their life and in the Hereafter.
Imams Bukhari and Muslim reported that the prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.)
said, "All of you are heads of a group and all of you are responsible for your
groups; the ruler is the head of state and he is responsible for his people, the
man is head of his family and responsible for his family, the woman is the head
in her husband's house and she is responsible for the house. In short all of you
are heads and responsible for your group."
The prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) did not excuse any one from responsibility
that Allah has put on every individual to build the Islamic society: the ruler is
responsible: the man and woman are responsible.... All within their capabilities,
domains, and authorities, and the loss of Islam from our Muslim ummah these
days is nothing but a result of the neglect of responsibility...
Today, I want to talk about responsibility of men and women, fathers and
mothers. This common responsibility, between the two, is to rise, educate, and
build the new generation in the correct method and the right way.
Allah creates the children with pure innate nature, without defects and whatever
defects that happens later on is the result of the bad education. Imams Bukhari

and Muslim reported that the prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Every new born has the
correct instinct, his parents make him Jewish, Christian or a fire worshipper."
Allah has put in every person the good tendencies and the bad tendencies so
choose and testing will be performed, so parents must encourage and grow the
good tendencies in the child so he can become a useful person that helps
himself and his people. Allah (S.W.T) said in surat At-Tahrim, (verse 6), which
is translated as, "O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families
from a fire whose fuel is men and stones."
And the protection of yourself and your family from hell fire won't be with any
thing but the good education, the practice of good morals, and the guidance to
nobility.
Islam does not distinguish between male and female with regard to the
Education requirements. Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) said, ''Whoever had a
daughter, tutored her on good morals, educated her well and fed her properly;
she will be a protection for him from hell fire." What do we mean by good
education? The good education means the physical, mental and moral
preparation of the child so he can become a good individual in the good society.
The physical preparation: Includes the care for the child's body and his
strength a through good feeding and following the correct methods
in prevention and treatment of diseases.
The mental preparation: Includes everything that comprises the formation of
the correct mental thinking, the ability of good judgment and the profound
thinking and inference; so the child can understand his surroundings, judge
things and benefit from his and the others' experiences.
The moral preparation: includes the instilling and neutering of the best
morals; also the discouragement and correction of bad morals and behavior.
For all the above there are methods and ways that help parents to reach their
goal:
Methods for physical preparation:
1. To make sure that the child is clean in his body, clothes, his surroundings and
has a love of cleanliness in his life.

2. To make sure to feed the child from the good without excessive expenditure
or stinginess.
3. To encourage the practice of sports such as running, swimming, shooting and
riding and their sports those make the body strong and active in a whole some
atmosphere.
Methods for mental preparation:
1. To teach reading and writing and to ensure a superiority in all kinds of
knowledge and sciences.
2. To practice attentively looking at all creations and events around him which
will enable his mental growth and give him the correct inference capabilities.
3. Touring or traveling in the land and pondering all the different marks and
signs of Allah and the history of previous people and nations.
Methods for moral preparation:
1. Showing the values of good deeds and their effects on the individuals and
society; also showing the effects of bad deeds, all within the child's capability
of understanding.
2.
3. Parents should be a good practical example in their behavior because
children like to imitate their parents in their sayings and their deeds.
3. Teaching the child the religious principles and tutoring him in worship,
taking into account the child's capability of understanding. The prophet
Muhammad (S.A.W.) had said, "Order your children to pray at the age of
seven."
4. Treating children nicely and kindly, the prophet (S.A.W.) taught us that
practically. When he was praying as an Imam with the people, his grandson AlHasan, son of his daughter Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with them rode his
back while he was bowing, lengthened his bow. When he finished his prayer,
some of the companions said, "You lengthened your bow? "Then the prophet
(S.A.W.) answered, "My grandson rode my back and I hate hastening him ".

5. One of the important things that parents must teach their children to select
the good company and the avoid the bad, because children are always
influenced by their company. The bad behavior can be transmitted through bad
company. So prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) warned us by saying, "The person
is following his company behavior, so every one must watch for his
company." (A good hadith reported by Imams Abu-Dawoud and At-Tirmithi.).
6. Encouraging the child's sense of belonging to the Muslim Ummah, by
teaching him of the brotherhood between Muslims, teaching him to care for
Muslims in any land, and that he is part of the Muslim body, to feel joy when
Muslims are joyous, to feel sad for Muslims sadness, and to do best to achieve
the Muslim nation's goals. All of this can done practically through by :
a. Taking children to mosques and introducing them to
their brother in Islam regardless their race, language, or origin.
b. Teaching the children the history of the prophet (S.A.W.) and
his companions and the history of Islam with in to the child's
capability of understanding.
c. Encouraging children to sympathize with Muslim problems and
to contribute to the solutions such as the poverty problem and to
donate some money to the hungry Muslim children.
d. Taking part in the celebrations and festivals with Muslims, and
sharing picnics and creating ties with their Muslim brothers of the
same age.
7. Growing the sense of distinction from society, and that does not mean
arrogance because arrogance is forbidden: but it means the sense of being a
Muslim and that Muslims are different from non-Muslims in their sources of
belief and behavior. Clarify that the society is good and bad, so as a Muslim,
take and benefit from what is good and leave and avoid what is bad.
8. Growing the feeling of love of Allah, his prophet, Muslims, and all people.
This love will lead to special behavior towards all those loved.
This is a general guideline, so every Muslim can take care of his children and
know the correct path that must be followed, so we can do the job we are
entrusted to do as Allah proscribed, as well as the responsibility the prophet has
clarified to protect the future generations of Muslims, as Allah said in surat AtTawbah, verse 105, what can be translated as, "And Say Do deeds! Allah will

see your deeds and (so will) His Messenger and the believers. And you will
be brought back to the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen. Then He
will inform you of what you used to do."

Wa `alaykum as-salaamu wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear questioner, thank you very much for your good and impressive question, and we hope our
efforts, which are purely for Allahs Sake, meet your expectations.
Indeed, Allah creates children with pure innate nature, and
whatever defects that happen later is the result of bad
education. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, is
reported to have said: Every child is born on Fitrah (mans
innate disposition to monotheism), his parents make him
Jewish, Christian or a fire worshipper. (Reported by AlBukhari and Muslim)
That is why Islam has ordered parents to take care of their
children and to bring them up according to the Islamic manners.

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Rights of the Child in
Islam

Focusing more on the very interesting question you have raised, we would like to cite the following:

Allah Almighty has entrusted parents with their children. Parents bear the responsibility to raise up
their children in the Islamic way. If they do that they will be blessed in this life and in the Hereafter,
and if they don't, they will get bad result during their life and in the Hereafter.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: All of you are
guardians and all of you are responsible for things under your guardianship; the ruler is a
guardian (managing his states affairs) and he is responsible for things under his care,
the man is a guardian over his family and responsible for them, the woman is a guardian
of her husband's house and she is responsible for it. All of you are guardians and
responsible for things under your control. (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did not excuse any one from responsibility that Allah
has put on every individual to build the Islamic society: the ruler is responsible: the man and
woman are responsible.... all within their capabilities, domains, and authorities... and the loss of
Islam from our Muslim Ummah these days is nothing but a result of the neglect of responsibility.
Men and women, fathers and mothers share the responsibility to raise up, educate, and build the
new generation in the correct method and the right way.
Man has in him the good and bad tendencies, so parents must encourage and grow the good
tendencies in the child so he can become a useful person that helps himself and his people.
Referring to this, Allah Almighty says: (O' you who believe, protect yourselves and your
families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones. ) (At-Tahreem: 6)

The protection of yourself and your family from Hell-Fire won't be with anything but good education,
the practice of good morals, and the guidance to nobility.
Islam does not distinguish between male and female with regard to the education requirements.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said:Whoever has a
daughter, tutors her on good morals, educates her well and feeds her properly; she will
be a protection for him from Hell-Fire.
What do we mean by good education? The good education means the physical, mental and moral
preparation of the child so he can become a good individual in the good society.
Methods of Moral Upbringing:
1- Showing the values of good deeds and their effects on the individuals and society; also showing
the effects of bad deeds, all within the child's capability of understanding.
2- Parents should be a good example in their behavior because children like to imitate their parents
in their sayings and their deeds.
3- Teaching the child the religious principles and tutoring him in worship, taking into account the
child's capability of understanding. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to
have said: Order your children to pray at the age of seven.
4- Treating children nicely and kindly. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that
practically. When he was praying as an Imam with the people, his grandson Al-Hasan, son of his
daughter Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with them rode his back while he was bowing. The Prophet,
peace and blessings be upon him, lengthened his bow. When he finished his prayer, some attending
Companions said, You lengthened your bow? Then the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him,
answered,My grandson rode my back and I hate hastening him.
5- One of the important things that parents must teach their children is to choose the good
company and to the avoid the bad one, because children are always influenced by the company they
keep. The bad behavior can be easily transmitted through bad company. So the Prophet, peace and
blessings be upon him, warned us by saying, Man is inclined to get influenced by his friend's
manners, so one must be careful in choosing friends. (Reported by Abu Dawud and AtTirmidhi)
6- Encouraging the child's sense of belonging to the Muslim Ummah, by teaching him of the
brotherhood between Muslims, teaching him to care for Muslims in any land, and that he is part of
the Muslim body, to feel joy when Muslims are joyous, to feel sad for Muslims' sadness, and to do
best to achieve the Muslim Ummahs goals. All of this can be done practically through:
A- Taking children to Mosques and introducing them to their brother in Islam regardless of race,
language, or origin.
B- Teaching the children the history of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and his
Companions and the history of Islam, bearing in mind the child's capability of understanding.
C- Encouraging children to sympathize with Muslim problems and to contribute to the solutions such
as the poverty problem and to donate some money to the hungry Muslim children.
D- Taking part in the celebrations and festivals with Muslims, and sharing picnics and creating ties
with their Muslim brothers of the same age.
7- Imbuing in children the feeling of love of Allah, His Prophet, Muslims, and all people. This love
will lead to special behavior towards all those loved.
These are general guidelines to raise our children Islamically, so every Muslim must take care of his
children and know the correct path that must be followed. This will help us do the job we are
entrusted to do as Allah proscribed, as well as the responsibility the Prophet, peace and blessings be

upon him, has clarified, with aim of protecting the future generations of Muslims, as Allah Almighty
says: (And Say Do deeds! Allah will see your deeds, and (so will) his Messenger and the
believers. And you will be brought back to the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen.
Then He will inform you of what you used to do. ) (At-Tawbah: 105)
The above quotation is excerpted with slight modifications from: www.zawaj.com
If you have any further comments, please dont hesitate to write back!
May Allah guide you to the straight path, and guide you to that which pleases Him, Amen.
Allah Almighty knows best.