MABANA, GIL FRANCIS V

ENS002-N4
USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA BY TEENAGERS
We are now livings in the 21 st century when technology change and improve in every
generation thathave comes. Thats why one of the most improvements in our history, that which
makes our communication makes much easier than ever is the social media. According to
(merriam dictionary), (in-text citation needed here). Social media is form of electronic
communication (as web sites for networking and microblogging) through which users create
online communities to share information, ideas, personal message, and other content (as video
and television).
But what triggers out our self when social media was discover, is when our communication not
just because become easier, but our history makes us much memorable and much easier to
throwback everything when we are browsing our account in social media. Because of social
media, there is no end point of history for each one of us; there will be a forever epoch story of
our life. Thats the effect and reason of social media for teenagers. What is your thesis
statement? Your main point should be clearly stated, usually at the end of the introduction.
However, one of the reasons behind why youth prefer to involve social media is when
they have authority and power. Thats why according to (james 2009), our young as known as
babies with super power(cite page number of source for direct quotes), because of their
technical skills of using social media, especially online media, they can do anything even it
proves as morally illegal. Thats why our young now a days has the capacity to do anything with
the help of social media and social media gives them the power, thats why they can now do
anything even though they dont recognize what they are doing, even though they cannot know
of what they are doing in social media, and even though they dont know might be the result of
every action that what have they done. This paragraph only beats around the bush. Instead, give
examples when youth use their authority and power in social media. Without these examples,
the paragraph is unclear.
According to (common sense, 2015) there are 5 causes why teenagers use social media.
First is friendship, according to statistical research of (common sense), out of 52% of teenagers
tends to commit relationship of friendship that stay stronger, and 29% of them use to feel much
departing and trust with their friendship. Second is belongingness, because of teenagers technical
skills in terms of engaging social media, it tends for them by having relationship with friends that
much pushes them for not being alone and let them feel belongingness. Third is that which make
a genuine support, in this term of social media, it helps teenagers not just friendship and
belongingness, rather a true and worth support for those marginalized people. Say for example
on Minecraft forum on Reddit, which gives their full support by their online community make a
voice-conferencing software to tell him that committing suicide is not a solution for his
problem(Is this really a direct quote from the source? If so, why cant this statement be
understood?). Fourth is the social media helps teenager to express themselves to whole world.
And the last is to let them do the right things, because teenagers are mostly involve in social
media, it tends to them to express knowledge and issue for the whole world, that which they
never done since before. Post in Facebook such positive information.
According to (common sense, 2015) Social media shows that Facebook makes teenagers
happier and pursue trust when it comes of involving social media, in terms of sharing thoughts,
self-reinforcing terms of psychological fulfilment.
As a result, teenagers and adolescence prefer socially with other people. According to
Stern (2007), explain the feedback which most of the people receive online especially through
adolescence. She also discover that most of adolescence much like the essence of online media
rather than offline media, because online might gave adolescence chance to express itself, as
much as uncommon offline. Besides, most of the young people prioritize the feedback and
examine their selves such as sexuality and anything which is personally are unknown. When it
comes to feedback, most of the people much like positive feedbacks this is why when it comes to
positive feedback they much feels confident of themselves about join in to offline identities.
However when it comes to negative feedback, people will do their opportunity to look over and

Comment [MFF1]: Avoid contractions

in academic essays.

Comment [MFF2]: Use proper in-text

citation: (Family name, year of publication)

Comment [MFF3]: ???

Comment [MFF4]: Meaning unclear.

revise their personal identities especially when it happen through online tests are undetected by
others, this is where people as much as they will to prove to rash out awkwardness or shame
offline.
Teenagers now a days has many different perspective if they want to involve of using
social media or not, however most of the teenagers are much preferring to involve in this kind of
technology, because it gives them the power, authority, teenagers can express and meet the
whole world even though they are inside their house, benefits, feedback, and so on.
If you had made an outline to show the flow of your ideas, this would have been better
organized. As it is, it is not clear whether you are talking about the causes or effects of youths
use of social media. Make sure that you only tackle one topic per paragraph and give at least two
supporting details to explain your arguments. I think you need a lot of practice in organizing
your essay, Gil. As a Philosophy major, you will need this very important skill. Please go over
the examples of essays I have given in class as your models.
Reference List

Common sense. 5 reasons you dont need to worry about kids social media. Caroline
Knorr (ed) 2015. Retrieve April 20, 2015 from
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/5-reasons-you-dont-need-to-worry-about-kidsand-social-media

Common sense. Influence of social media on teenagers. Retrieve May 26,2015 From
http://huffingtonpost.com/suren-ramasubbu/influence-of-social-media-onteenagers_b_7427740.html

James, Carrie. (2009). a synthesis from the good play project. In Carrie James; with Katie
Davis (Ed.), Young people, ethics, and the new digital media: (pp. 20-28). Cambridge:
The MIT Press.

MERRIAM-WEBSTER DICTIONARY, Incorporated. (2015). Stanfy Corp. 20102015.from http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0

When this paper was uploaded in Turnitin, an originality-checker application, the statements in red registered to be
very similar with some articles posted online. Because they are copied verbatim from somebody elses work and
there are no in-text citation that acknowledge the sources, it would appear as though these information are your own
ideas.
I would like to reiterate the importance of acknowledging sources in the in-text citation and in the reference list.
Plagiarism is a serious offense in the academe. I hope that you would take seriously academic honesty in all the
papers you will submit in the university.
--Marge

Comment [MFF5]: Use proper APA

format when citing your sources.
Academic papers require academic sources.
Dot com sources are certainly not academic
sources.

Name: Gil Mabana

Section: N4
Rubric for the Cause & Effect Essay (Midterm Paper: 20% of Final Grade)

Criteria

Competent

Developing

Score

Identifies purpose in the

introduction. Thesis
statement is explicitly
stated towards the end of
the introduction. (4)

Presents no clear purpose.

Thesis statement is
implied. (3)

Provides an outline to
show flow of ideas. (4)

Outline of ideas is missing

in the paper. (3)

Begins with a technique

that captures readers
attention; Information
given links with the thesis
statement. (9)

Begins with a technique

that does not capture
readers attention;
Information given needs to
smoothly link with the
thesis statement (8)

Unity

Topic sentences are

explicitly and clearly stated
in each paragraph. All
ideas in the paragraph are
related with the topic
sentences. (10)

Topic sentence is explicitly

although not so clearly
stated in each paragraph.
Some ideas in the
paragraph do not relate
with the topic sentences.
(9)

Topic sentence is implicitly

and unclearly stated in
each paragraph. Most
ideas in the paragraphs do
not relate with the topic
sentences. (8)

Support

Cites three supporting

details per paragraph;
Fully elaborates and
explains connections
among ideas based on
research. (15)

Cites two supporting

details per paragraph;
Elaborates connections
among most ideas based
on research. (13)

Cites one supporting detail

per paragraph; Does not
elaborate connections
among most ideas based
on research. (11)

11

Coherence

Uses effectively cohesive

devices to smoothly link an
idea with the next. (10)

Generally uses cohesive

devices effectively with
some occasional misuse.
(9)

Conclusion

Transition is appropriate
for the final paragraph;
Thesis is restated in the
conclusion; Main points
are effectively
summarized; Essay ends
with a memorable
statement. (10)

Transition is appropriate
for the final paragraph;
Thesis is restated in the
conclusion; Main points are
summarized; Concluding
thought may need to be
improved for more impact.
(9)

Cohesive devices used may

not be appropriate or
lacking to smoothly link
ideas. (8)
Transition may sound
awkward for the final
paragraph; Restatement of
thesis is missing or main
points not summarized;
Concluding thought may
need to be revised for
clarity or coherence with
topic. (8)

Purpose and
Thesis
statement

Organization
of essay

Introduction

Vocabulary
and Style

Reference List

Citation of
Sources
Submission on
time
Originality

Proficient
Clearly identifies purpose
in introduction. Thesis
statement is explicitly and
creatively crafted towards
the end of the
introduction. (5)
Provides an outline to
show organized flow of
ideas. (5)
Begins with an effective
technique to capture
readers attention;
Information is given to
smoothly link hook with
thesis statement. (10)

Use academic language

consistently to convey
ideas. Presents very few
grammatical and
mechanical errors which
do not affect meaning.
(10)
The essay shows a
thorough and judicious use
of more than 3 academic
sources to support
arguments. (10)
All sources are correctly
cited both in-text and in
the reference list using
APA format. (10)
The paper is submitted on
or before the deadline:
August 7, 2015. (5)
7-10 sentences seem
plagiarized (minus 15
points)

Uses inconsistently
academic and informal
language; Presents a few
grammatical and
mechanical errors which
affect meaning. (9)

Uses non-academic
language to convey ideas.
Presents several
grammatical and
mechanical errors which
affect meaning. (8)

The essay shows a

judicious use of at least 3
academic sources to
support arguments. (9)

The essay shows use of

less than 3 sources, or
more but which may not
be academic. (8)

Most sources are correctly

cited in the reference list
and in-text . (8)

Most sources are

incorrectly cited either in
in-text citation or in the
reference list. (6)

The paper is submitted 1-3

days after the deadline. (4)

The paper is submitted 4-7

days after the deadline. (3)

4-6 sentences seem

plagiarized (minus 10
points)

1-3 sentences seem

plagiarized (minus 5
points)
Total Score

--5
72/100