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Secrets of Female Psychology

The New Casual Sex

by Lawrence Lanoff


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The New Casual Sex

The New Casual Sex

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as
meaningless experiences go, its pretty damn good."
Woody Allen

Lets meet Mark. Hes a busy dude.

Between juggling a full-time job and working on an entrepreneurial side
business with his partner, he has little time to invest in meeting women.
He's a career-first guy. But he's also lonely.
Mark is especially frustrated because it seems like the girls he attracts
need a lot of time invested before they are willing to get in bed with him.
They need to be taken on multiple dates, texted everyday between dates,
and only then will they feel like he really respects them enough to fuck
him. Mark hates this because how can you really know if you like
someone before you have sex with them?
For Mark, it seems like such a waste of his time to woo women that he
may have no sexual chemistry with. I mean nothing is worse than
investing a lot of time and money only to find out she fucks like a dead
Mark wishes more girls were into casual sex. He wishes that they valued
their time just as much as he valued his and were more willing to just get
to the point so everyone can either move forward together or MOVE ON!
Im here to fill you in on a secret even so-called experts dont know.
Our culture has been lying to you!
Heres why: Women want casual sex just as much as men do!

The New Casual Sex

I know some of you are thinking this cant be true, because it hasnt been
your experience.
If youve ever taken the most basic biology class, you have probably heard
the popular saying that eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap, which is
why women are biologically predisposed to be choosier about who they
sleep with than men.
Heres the thing that is BULLSHIT and you should erase it from your
belief system about women right now forever.
If you buy into the reasoning that women are choosier about sexual
partners, it essentially amounts to no sex being had.
I mean, all it takes is watching one episode of Maury Povich or Jerry
Springer to know that women are not biologically more likely to be
choosier than men. If that were the case, why are all these deadbeats
getting laid and nobody knows who the baby-daddy is?!
On a primal level, women want sex just as much as men. And some, like
authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha in their book Sex At Dawn,
have even argued that women are just as evolutionarily motivated to have
multiple partners as men.
Men want to spread their seed and women want to let the sperm fight it
Its more like survival of the fittest in the womb! And multiple studies
have even shown that women are most likely to cheat when they are
In order to tap into this primal nature in women, AND GET LAID
QUICKER AND EASIER, you need to know a few things.
First of all, you need to understand how stereotypes affect your ability to
get laid.
Research shows that, in general, men stereotype women as being nurturing
and warm, a lesson learned from childhood through societys reverence of
the mother-figure.

The New Casual Sex

Women are taught stereotypes about men from a young age also. They are
taught to be careful because men might be violent, aggressive, sexual
Women have learned: dont get too drunk you might get raped. Dont
walk alone at night you might get raped. Keep an eye on your drink at a
bar because you might get drugged and raped.
You get the idea.
With all of this in mind, you might see why women dont just jump at any
chance to have a one night stand as quickly as most men would. Its not
because women dont want to. Its because they have greater perceived
risk if they do act on their desires.
What Im going to teach you will show you how to reduce a womans
perceived risk and increase your chances of GETTING LAID QUICKER

The Bad In Bed Vibe

My female coaching students have also told me, over and over, that they
turn down sexual offers because they get a vibe that the guy wouldnt be
good in bed. Basically, she gets a vibe that hes going to suck in bed.
So, she would rather go home and masturbate than risk having sex that
Think about it. Men are pretty much guaranteed an orgasm, even if the girl
just lies there and does nothing. Girls on the other hand are not guaranteed
anything. And, for a lot of them, they are guaranteed that somebody is
going to be asking questions about what they have been doing with their
So, her knowing that she is going to have a good time is super important.

The Two Secrets To Getting Laid

The New Casual Sex

There are two secret things that you must learn how to communicate to get
laid. But only learn them if you want to make yourself so irresistible that
she is willing to silence all this bad programming in her head and drop
trou for you on the first date.

Secret #1: She must feel safe when she is with you.
Secret #2: She has to believe you are going to be good in bed. (See
my Tantra-X program for in-depth information on how to be better and
better in bed.)
Communicating this is a lot easier than you think, too!
Im going to take you step-by-step through a technique that I designed that
will get you LAID quicker and easier. Guaranteed.
This technique will teach you how to quickly and easily develop a feeling
of deep connection that will break through her doubts and fears.
And trust me, you can have as much casual sex as you want if you know
how to effectively communicate safety and the promise of a pleasurable
experience. It wont matter how rich you are or how handsome you are,
women WILL respond to you and WILL want you in their beds
SOONER rather than later.

Conversations create mental maps, as well as emotional/feeling


Example: I can eat a lemon and my mouth waters and puckers.

I can THINK about eating a lemon and my mouth waters and

I can think about the first time I opened a Playboy magazine,

held it in my hands, smelled the fresh ink. A smile spreads
across my face even now. I cant help but feel happy and a
little bit horny.

The New Casual Sex

Our brains are hardwired for making associations. And, as my

behavioral neuroscience professor would say, What fires together,
wires together.

Why is this important for you to understand?

Do you know someone or have you ever had a friend who was just
hilarious. Every time youre with him he keeps you in stitches.
Think about this person right now. Really picture him and notice how you
feel in your body as you do this. You may notice yourself feeling a little
chuckle rising in your belly, or a general sense of warmth in your chest, or
a more energetic feeling throughout your body.
This person has created an association for himself or herself. You have
laughed so many times in his or her presence by now, that your brain has
been hardwired to equate time spent with this person with feeling good.
This is what YOU are going for in a womans brain.
Im not funny, you are probably saying. So how can this help me get

Using conscious awareness, you can control what gets associated

with you if you know what youre doing.

You can cue pleasant, funny memories for women, that you have
nothing to do with, and become associated with those feelings
simply because you are in their presence when they are feeling
o Example: she is talking about something that really makes her
feel good + you are listening to her = she concludes that you
must really make her feel good.

People forget what is actually said and only remember how they feel when
they are around you.
With this knowledge, you can consciously guide conversations in a way
that will elicit feelings from her that you want associated with yourself.

The New Casual Sex

Now that you know safety and increased sexual pleasure are the two key
principles that you want to convey, Im going to offer you a few ideas that
will guide conversations toward creating either feelings of safety or
pleasure in her body that she will then associate with you.

My Top Ten Safety/Pleasure Phrases

Who are some of the people in your life that you know you can
really count on?

What lets you know that someone really cares about you?

Whats the best thing that has happened to you this


What lets you know that someone is really trustworthy?

Whats your favorite food? What do you like about it?

Whos your best friend? Why is she your best friend?

Whats your favorite way to spend a day off?

Whats the craziest/most fun thing you have done in the last

Whats your favorite place that you have traveled to so far?

Where would you like to travel in the future? Why?

Do you have any pets? (If so, get her to really elaborate on telling
you all about them.)

Also, right now, come up with five questions on your own that you think
will create feelings of safety and pleasure in her body. Think of things that
correspond with who you are.
Its important that you make this technique your own and ask questions
that you would genuinely be interested in hearing the answers to. Women
can detect bullshit interest.

The New Casual Sex

You must also make sure you have your own answers prepared for
whatever questions you are going to ask, because she may want to know
the same things about you.
When a woman begins to feel safe, she may start opening up to you about
stuff that isnt so pleasant for her which is great, too. In this case, she
may associate emotional intensity with you. And keep in mind that you
always want to reinforce something positive that she can feel in her body
about whatever experience she has shared.
Let me give you some examples.
The Power of the Survivor Reminder Technique:
Rachel shares with you that she grew up with a horribly violent father
(not feelings you want to be associated with). A great response would
be something like this, Wow. It must have been awful growing up in
an environment like that. You must be a really strong person to have
survived it all! This way you are conveying to her that you heard and
empathize with her experience but you follow it with something that
brings her back to where she is in the present moment (safe with you),
and connects her with feelings of security and a sense of having
overcome her past.
Great associations for you!
You can use the Survivor Reminder Technique for all kinds of situations.
In general, its just great to remind people that they made it through a
difficult time and survived because its easy for them to get lost in feelings
of victimization. These are feelings that generally are not good for getting
you laid.
Another example:
You just met Jessica at a bar. She tells you that she had the worst day
at work, her boss is a complete asshole, and she wants to drown her
misery in booze. A great response from you would be, Lets toast to
your having survived an awful day with an asshole boss! Things can
only get better from here on out. What would you do with your life, if
you had all the money in the world and never had to go back there?

The New Casual Sex

You empathized with the past, snapped her back into the safety of the
present (she made it), and even projected her into an ideal future.
Now just add a few questions that expand more feelings of pleasure in her
body and you will have her eating out of your hand (sucking your cock) in
no time.
A woman once told me a story about two different guys she went on dates
with. She said that one guy made her feel like he was one of the most
interesting people she had ever met. The other guy made her feel like she
was one of the most interesting people he had ever met. Guess who she
fell in love with? The second guy.
The second guy anchored stronger feelings in her body by getting her to
share what interests and excites her. If you spend too much time sharing
your own experiences in an attempt to impress a woman, she might think
youre cool but will be less likely to go home with you at the end of the
Always keep in mind how she is feeling in her body when she is talking to
you. Something that she shares from an exciting personal experience will
always create a stronger association anchor for good feelings toward you,
rather than something you share about yourself that she finds likeable or
Remember to focus on the personal power of the Survivor Reminder
technique. It will save your ass as women open up and feel more and more
safe with you.