Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation
"Out of Her League"
by
Derek Robertson
May 14th, 2009

COLD OPENING
FADE IN:
EXT. FOOT BRIDGE - DAY

(LESLIE)
LESLIE STANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A LONG FOOT BRIDGE, BEAMING

EAR TO EAR WITH A WIDE EYED SMILE AS SHE STARES STRAIGHT DOWN
THE BARREL OF THE CAMERA.
LESLIE
I’m so glad I could show you guys
this. This is the Arthur Allan foot
bridge, named after my boss Ron
Swanson’s predecessor, Arthur Allan.
This! This is his legacy!
LESLIE WAVES HER HAND WITH A FLOURISH RESERVED FOR PRESENTING

CARS OR MAGICIANS, NOT A FOOT BRIDGE.
SHE CROSSES OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE
LESLIE (CONT’D)
And look at this, look, look.
LESLIE TAPS THE POST ON THE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Can you zoom in on this?
THE CAMERA DOES NOT.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
It looks like real wood from afar
doesn’t it? Totally synthetic! No kids
will get splinters from this puppy,
it’s like a wonder of the modern ages.
LESLIE PAUSES, BREATHING IN THE INSPIRATION.

"Out of Her League" 2.
PARKS AND RECREATION
LESLIE (CONT’D)
You know they put a plaque up to
honour Arthur Allan, cause it’s his
legacy and all.
THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN OVER LESLIE’S SHOULDER.
SURE ENOUGH THERE IS THE PLAQUE.
AND WHAT APPEARS TO BE A HOMELESS PERSON URINATING ON IT.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
I can’t help but dream that one day
when the pit my staff and I are
tirelessly working on turning into a
park is complete, that Pawnee will
feel the need to honour me the same
way.
LESLIE TURNS TO SEE THE PLAQUE AND FINALLY NOTICES WHAT WE

HAVE BEEN WATCHING.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Sir! Sir! Stop that, you are

desecrating a municipal monument!
LESLIE RUNS AT THE HOMELESS MAN, SEEMINGLY TO SHOO HIM AWAY

LIKE ONE WOULD A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS.
CUT TO:
INT. RON’S OFFICE - DAY

(LESLIE, RON)
RON SITS CASUALLY BEHIND HIS DESK, A STRIKING OPPOSITE FROM

LESLIE WHO COMES ACROSS VERY TENSE.
LESLIE
Is this about the re-zoning committee,
Ron? Have they made a decision?
RON
No Leslie, this isn’t about some made
up bureaucratic voodoo like zoning,
this is about something that’ll
actually do people good.
LESLIE
Turning that pit into a park will do a
lot of people a lot of good.
LESLIE’S ENTHUSIASM OBVIOUSLY RUFFLES RON’S FEATHERS.
RON
Alright, let’s not drag this out. I’m
putting you in charge of organizing
the Pawnee Little League World Series
this year. That’s all, alright?
LESLIE STARES AT RON, MOUTH GAPING.
CUT TO:
RON TALKING HEAD
RON
Yes, I put Leslie in charge of this
year’s little league championship.
‘Cause every year I do it and it’s
always the same.

(MORE)
RON (CONT'D)
Coaches want this, parents want that.
I’d rather be home cleaning the
eavestrough, frankly. Plus this year
there’s that whole thing with the
permit... I mentioned the permit thing
to Leslie right?
CUT TO:
LESLIE TALKING HEAD
LESLIE
The Pawnee Little League World Series.
Wow.
(BEAT)
Wow. What a show of trust, that Ron
would put me in charge. The Little
League World Series is only like the
sixth biggest social event in Pawnee.
And I’m organizing it! Maybe I’m
getting a little a head of myself here

but if this goes well, I think it’s
quite possible you might be looking at
the official Park’s and Rec liaison
for the Pawnee Pumpkin Festival!
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE BULLPEN - DAY

(LESLIE, TOM, APRIL, RON)
APRIL IS SHOWING TOM SOMETHING ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN AS

LESLIE ENTERS.
LESLIE
Staff meeting everyone!
APRIL LOOKS AROUND, ONLY SHE AND TOM ARE IN THE ROOM.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Big news everybody! Big news!
TOM
They’ve canceled The View?
LESLIE’S MOOD DOES A 180.
LESLIE
They did?
TOM
I’m not sure.
LESLIE
(OBLIVIOUS)
Well that sort of kills my big news.
TOM
Go on, we can still pretend like its
big.
LESLIE
Alright, well... Ron has put me in
charge of this year’s Little League
World Series.
(BEAT)
It was more exciting a few minutes
ago.
TOM
Yeah, gotta say, didn’t really live up
to the hype. I would’ve opened with
the more accurate ‘news everybody’.
LESLIE
There’s a lot of work to get ready for
this thing. Tom I need you to design
like a banner that says something like
‘Welcome to the Pawnee 2009 Little
League World Series’.
TOM
How about ‘Welcome to the Pawnee Youth
Steroid Association’?
LESLIE
No.
TOM
How about ‘Pawnee Little League World
Series. Accepting Visa, Master Card,

and Forged Birth Certificates.’
LESLIE
No!
TOM
Alright, alright. Just brainstorming.
Just spit balling.

LESLIE
You’ll work on the banner, I’m going
to order the trophies, and our darling
intern April... could you get on the
Google and find out about this whole
thing with cancelling ‘The View’?
APRIL
Sure.
RON STICKS HIS HEAD OUT HIS OFFICE.
RON
Hey Leslie, you’re all over the permit
thing right?
LESLIE
No, what? What permit thing?
CUT TO:
RON TALKING HEAD
RON
Apparently I didn’t tell her.

CUT TO:
INT. PERMIT OFFICE - DAY

(LESLIE, SANDRA)
LESLIE STANDS IN LINE FOR HER CHANCE TO TALK TO THE GLUM

LOOKING WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER, SANDRA.
LESLIE
(RE: CAMERA)
What you’re about to see is the inner
workings of city hall.

(MORE)
LESLIE (CONT'D)
Department to department, coming to
together to get something done, the
cogs of the civil service.
AS THE PERSON AHEAD OF HER FINISHES UP AND LEAVES LESLIE

APPROACHES SANDRA.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Hi there! Leslie Knope, Deputy
Director, Parks and Recreation.
LESLIE REACHES OUT TO SHAKE SANDRA’S HAND. THE GESTURE IS NOT

RETURNED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTER.
SANDRA
How can I help you?
LESLIE
I don’t know if you’ve heard but I’m
organizing this years Pawnee Little
League World Series and apparently
there was a bit of a mix up with the
permit.
SANDRA
A mix up?
LESLIE
Yeah, see every year the game is held
at the diamond in Breech Park but this
year apparently something called the
Pawnee Beer League has the permit to
use the park on Sunday.

SANDRA
Than the Pawnee Beer League has the
permit.
LESLIE
No see, I think you’re
misunderstanding the situation...
LESLIE INSPECTS SANDRA’S NAME PLATE ON HER COUNTER.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
...Sandra. I’m from the Parks and Rec
department, we’re two cogs in the
machine. You’re supposed to help me
out here.
SANDRA
So because we both work in the same
building, you want me to give you
special treatment?
LESLIE SHRUGS AND SMILES AT SANDRA AS IF TO SAY ‘NOW YOU’RE

GETTING IT’.
SANDRA (CONT’D)
Is that how it works for you? If I
wanted to go around lighting bushes on
fire in the park, would you give me
special permission to? Cause we work
in the same building.

LESLIE
No, no.
(TO CAMERA)
No!
SANDRA
The best I can do is say talk to the
beer league, if they’re willing to
give up their permit for Sunday I can
re-issue it to you.
CUT TO:

(LESLIE, APRIL)
LESLIE STORMS IN.
LESLIE
April come on!
APRIL LOOKS UP FROM THE COMPUTER SHE WAS PLAYING MINESWEEPER

ON.
APRIL
Where are we going?

LESLIE
We’ve got to pay a visit to a beer
league.
APRIL GETS UP, GRABS HER PURSE AND HURRIES OVER.
APRIL
Can we stop at my house? I gotta grab
my sister’s ID.
LESLIE
Why would you need your sister’s ID?

THE TWO STARE AT EACH OTHER BLANKLY FOR A BEAT.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Come on.
THEY WALK OUT INTO THE...
CUT TO:
INT. HALL - DAY

(LESLIE, APRIL)
LESLIE AND APRIL WALK DOWN THE HALL.
LESLIE
Did you discover if The View’s been
canceled?
APRIL
Uh, no. I’ve still got like eight
hundred and three million results left
to go through.
LESLIE SHAKES HER HEAD
LESLIE
The internet.
NOTICING A NEWSPAPER BOX.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Newspapers don’t give you a million
results April, newspapers.
LESLIE GOES OVER TO THE BOX, PUTS IN HER MONEY AND OPENS IT
UP.
SHE PULLS OUT THE NEWSPAPER BUT AS SHE LETS THE DOOR OF THE
BOX SLAM SHUT IT CATCHES HER SHIRT SLEEVE.
SHE GOES TO WALK AWAY BUT GETS YANKED BACK.
SHE IS STUCK.
SHE TRIES A FEW MORE TIMES.
REALLY STUCK.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Uh, April?
APRIL
Yeah?
LESLIE
You don’t happen to have any quarters
on you do you?
APRIL
Leslie no, if it’s not in that paper
it’s not in any of them.
LESLIE
No, no. I’m stuck April. My shirt’s
stuck in the box!
LESLIE YANKS HER ARM TO DEMONSTRATE.
APRIL
(FIGHTING BACK LAUGHTER)
I’ll -- uh -- I’ll... get help.
APRIL RUNS DOWN THE HALL WAITING TILL SHE IS A SAFE DISTANCE
AWAY BEFORE BURSTING INTO LAUGHTER.
SOME CITY EMPLOYEES WALK BY, LESLIE TRIES TO LEAN ON THE NEWS
BOX CASUALLY.
CUT TO:
INT. LESLIE AND TOM’S OFFICE - DAY

(APRIL, TOM)
APRIL
Tom! Tom! It’s Leslie!

SHE BEGINS TO LAUGH, BUT QUICKLY REGAINS COMPOSURE.
APRIL (CONT’D)
You’ve got to help Leslie!
TOM
Oh God, she didn’t fall down the pit
again did she?
APRIL
No, she is caught in the newspaper
box! Her sleeve! She is like... stuck.
TOM GETS UP AND RUNS OUT OF HIS OFFICE, APRIL FOLLOWING

BEHIND.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY

(TOM, LESLIE, APRIL)
LESLIE IS STILL TRYING TO LOOK AS CASUAL AS ONE CAN BE...

STUCK IN A NEWSPAPER BOX.
TOM AND APRIL ENTER.
TOM
(NONCHALANTLY)
Oh hey Leslie.
LESLIE
Tom.
TOM
I was wondering, which of these banner
designs do you like better?
TOM HOLDS UP TWO PIECES OF PAPER.
CASUALLY LESLIE TRIES TO POINT BY TILTING HER HEAD.

LESLIE
That one.
TOM
Which one?
LESLIE AGAIN TRIES TO POINT BY TILTING HER HEAD.
LESLIE
That one.
TOM
I have no idea what one you’re talking
about. Just come over here and point
at one.
LESLIE
I can’t Tom. I’m stuck. I’m stuck in
the newspaper box.
TOM
You got stuck again Leslie?
APRIL
Again?!
CUT TO:
LESLIE TALKING HEAD
LESLIE
I may or may not have gotten stuck in
that death trap before, I really don’t
want to talk about it. But how about
those designs for the banner, huh? Tom
did some nice work.

LOOKING OFF TO THE MIDDLE DISTANCE.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
And you know a good banner, that can
get people talking. That ‘Mission
Accomplished’ banner, that put George
Bush on the map.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR - DAY

(APRIL, LESLIE)
LESLIE, NOW MISSING ONE SLEEVE, PULLS TO A STOP. APRIL IN THE

PASSENGER SEAT BESIDE HER.
APRIL
We’re going to the mall?
LESLIE
No, well yes. Sort of. Tom’s instance
to take photos really put us behind
schedule. You’re going to pick up the
trophies I pre-ordered from Ed’s
Sports. I’m going to go to the

ballpark and get this permit thing
sorted out.
APRIL
And than we go to the beer garden?
LESLIE
Beer league? No, I’m going there now.
APRIL
I’m not coming with you?

LESLIE
No?
APRIL
Than why did we stop for my sisters
ID?!
APRIL OPENS THE DOOR AND GETS OUT.
LESLIE
What does your sister’s ID have to do
with anything? Honestly?!
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND - EVENING

(LESLIE, MARK)
LESLIE WALKS ACROSS THE FIELD AS ONE OF THE SOFTBALL TEAMS,

THE PORK CHOP SANDWICHES, WARMS UP.
LESLIE
Excuse me, excuse me. Who is in charge
here?
ONE OF THE MEN STOPS THROWING THE BALL. AT FIRST WE CAN’T

MAKE OUT WHO IT IS BUT IN A MOMENT WE NOTICE.
AT ABOUT THE SAME TIME LESLIE DOES...
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Mark?
SURE ENOUGH IT IS MARK BRENDANAWICZ.
MARK
Leslie? What are you doing here?

LESLIE
Mark you’re one of the

(OFF SHIRT)
Pork Chop Sandwiches? Really?
MARK
Yep, that’s me. What are you doing
here?
LESLIE
Mark, we’ve got a problem.
MARK
It’s 5:30, I am off the clock Leslie.
LESLIE
No, this is not official subcommittee
business. I wish it were.
LESLIE SWALLOWS HARD, PUNCTUATING HER SENTENCE.
MARK
What is... wrong?
LESLIE
There’s no easy way for me to say this
Mark...
CUT TO:
INT. MALL FOOD COURT - EVENING

(APRIL)
APRIL SITS WITH TWO OF HER FRIENDS LAUGHING AND TALKING OVER
SOME FAST FOOD.
APRIL (V.O.)
I am going to get to the trophy thing.
CUT TO:
APRIL TALKING HEAD
APRIL
But like I totally just ran into them,
it would’ve been rude to just blow
them off. Beside’s Jessica’s going
through this whole pregnancy scare
thing. It would’ve been rude.
CUT TO:
EXT. MALL ENTRANCE - NIGHT

(LESLIE, APRIL)
APRIL IS STANDING OUTSIDE THE CLOSED UP MALL WAITING FOR

LESLIE, WHO HAPPENS TO PULL UP IN A TAXI.
GETTING OUT OF THE CAB.
LESLIE
April, sorry I am late.
APRIL
(EMOTIONLESS)
Yeah.
LESLIE
Where are the trophies?
APRIL
Where’s your car?
LESLIE
That’s not... don’t worry. Where’s the
trophies?
APRIL
I couldn’t make it in time.

LESLIE
What? You’ve been here for three
hours!
APRIL
I know.
LESLIE
April, I know you’re just in school
and everything but if there’s one
thing I can teach you in this
internship... no, two things. One,
government is dope. And two,
responsibility.
CUT TO:
EXT. BASEBALL BLEACHERS - EARLY THAT EVENING

(LESLIE)
LESLIE, BEER IN HAND JUMPS UP FROM HER SEAT, BEER SPILLING

ALL OVER.
LESLIE (V.O.)
It’s the key to life.

CELEBRATING SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED ON THE FIELD SHE DOES A
LITTLE VICTORY DANCE.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Life will literally eat you alive if
you don’t learn responsibility.
LESLIE HIGH FIVES EVERYONE IN THE STANDS AROUND HER.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
It’s just one of those stages of
growing up I guess.
LESLIE STARTS CHUGGING THE BEER.
CUT TO:
EXT. MALL ENTRANCE - NIGHT

(LESLIE, APRIL)
LESLIE
Some of us reach it sooner than
others. Like learning to drive, or
boobs. It’s not our fault Ashley Ross’
body matured faster.
LESLIE REALIZES SHES GETTING PERSONAL.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Or... responsibility. I’m
disappointed.
LESLIE STARTS WALKING BACK TO THE TAXI, APRIL FOLLOWING.
APRIL
Did you get the permit?
LESLIE
I don’t want to talk about that.

CUT TO:
EXT. GENERIC HOUSE - NIGHT

(APRIL, LESLIE, ED)
LESLIE IS ON THE DOOR STEP, KNOCKING. APRIL HANGS BACK A BIT.
APRIL
My mum doesn’t like me missing dinner.
THE DOOR OPENS REVEALING AN ELDERLY MAN.

LESLIE
Excuse me are you Ed Swarts of Ed’s
Sports?
ED
Ye -- yeah?
LESLIE
Leslie Knope, Deputy Director of Parks
and Recreation. I’m afraid we have a
bit of a government emergency.
CUT TO:
LESLIE TALKING HEAD
LESLIE
So Ed... Dear, sweet Ed. Botched the
trophy job!
LESLIE HOLDS UP A TROPHY REVEALING A BRONZE WOMAN IN A SKIRT,

BOWLING.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Lady bowlers Ed? For a baseball

tournament, really?
CUT TO:
END OF ACT 1
ACT 2
INT. SPORTING GOODS STORE - DAY

(LESLIE, ANN)
LESLIE AND ANN PERKINS STAND IN LINE AT THE CHECK OUT

COUNTER.
LESLIE
Thanks again for driving me Ann.
ANN
Oh you know, no problem. Always happy
to help when it comes to filling the
pit.
LESLIE TRIES TO LOOK AWAY CASUALLY, WHICH NATURALLY DOES NOT

LOOK CASUAL AT ALL.
ANN (CONT’D)
This... isn’t pit business is it?
SHEEPISHLY TURNING BACK TO ANN, JIGS UP.
LESLIE
It’s pit business.
ANN STARES AT HER DISBELIEVINGLY.

LESLIE (CONT’D)
In a way. If this baseball game goes
well it can’t help but make the zoning
committee look at our pit
redevelopment plan favourably.
ANN
Baseball? I’m running errands for some
baseball game?!
LESLIE TRIES TO LAUGH TO EASE THE TENSION.

LESLIE
Some baseball game, oh Ann, you’re a
riot. It’s the Pawnee Little Lea --
hey do you know anything about The
View?
CUT TO:
ANN TALKING HEAD
ANN
You know I’m actually pretty busy. I’m
a nurse. That’s a pretty demanding
job. Plus I’ve got a boyfriend with
two broken legs. Two! I haven’t seen
any of my friends in three weeks, and
I’ve got a load of laundry that’s been
sitting in the dryer for the past
eleven days.
CUT TO:
INT. SPORTING GOODS STORE - DAY

(LESLIE, ED, ANN)
LESLIE STEPS UP TO THE COUNTER, ED STANDS OPPOSITE.
LESLIE
Hello Ed, remember me?
ED
Unfortunately.
LESLIE
Uh oh, someone’s grumpy this morning.

ED
Can I help you?
LESLIE
Do you recall supplying me with
trophies last night?
ED
Do I remember you practically forcing
me from my house to drive all the way
back here with that girl.
POINTING AT ANN.
ED (CONT’D)
She looks a lot older today.
LESLIE TURNS TO LOOK AT ANN.
LESLIE
No, she’s not the same... look Ed,
let’s not beat around the bush.
LESLIE SLAMS ONE OF THE BOWLING TROPHIES DOWN ON THE COUNTER.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
You sold me bogus awards!
ANN COMES OVER TO THE COUNTER, SUDDENLY INTERESTED.
ANN
A lot older than April he means?

(RE: ED)
How much older do I look?
ED SCRUTINIZES ANN.
ED
I don’t know, twenty years?

ANN
Twenty years?! Alright Leslie, I’m
going home.
ANN STARTS TO LEAVE.
LESLIE
No Ann, wait! Ed doesn’t know what
he’s talking about, he’s as blind as a
bat. He thought this was a baseball
player!
ANN DOESN’T COME BACK.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Ann, can you at least drive me back to
my car?
LESLIE TURNS BACK TO ED.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
So, what are you going to do about
this?
ED
Nothing, they’re already engraved.
LESLIE
Couldn’t you just like take them back
and hold onto them until say a...
LESLIE PICKS UP THE TROPHY AND READS IT.

LESLIE (CONT’D)
...Sean Bryson Right Field, wins a
woman’s bowling tournament?
CUT TO:

(LESLIE, TOM)
LESLIE WALKS INTO THE ROOM, BOX OF TROPHIES UNDER HER ARM.
PUTTING THEM DOWN ON HER DESK SHE WALKS OVER TO TOM.
LESLIE
Tom, I’m having a bad day.
TOM
Anything I can do to help?
LESLIE
Yeah actually, could you organize the
player’s barbecue.
TOM
Oh, no can do Leslie. Participating in
or helping to facilitate a barbecue is

strictly against the fifth pillar of
my religion.
LESLIE
Oh no! Tom I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even
thinking!
CUT TO:
TOM TALKING HEAD
TOM
Southern Baptist. But Leslie is all
for respect of other races and I
really didn’t want to barbecue.
CUT TO:

(LESLIE, TOM)
LESLIE
That’s weird though, I could’ve sworn
I was over at your place in June for a
barbecue.
TOM
Yeah, and I’m still repenting. I can’t
take much more flogging Leslie, but I
guess if its for the job...
LESLIE
No, say no more. I’ll pick up the meat
on my way back from finding a new
baseball diamond.
Leslie exits the office.
TOM
You’re the best Leslie!
LESLIE (O.C.)
April come on!
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

(APRIL, LESLIE)
THIS ISN’T THE CHEERIEST OF STREETS. THE HOUSES, THE LAWNS,

EVERYTHING LOOKS RUNDOWN.
A CAB COMES TO A STOP, LESLIE AND APRIL GET OUT.
APRIL
Are you sure this is the best part of
town to have like kids come to?
THE TWO WOMEN START WALKING DOWN THE STREET.
LESLIE
Oh don’t let appearances fool you
April, they’re Pawnee residents like
you or I.
APRIL
I heard this girl was walking like two
streets over when she got...
LESLIE
Alright, alright, enough April.
THEY WALK IN SILENCE FOR A BEAT, THEN LESLIE SUDDENLY STOPS.

LESLIE (CONT’D)
(BETWEEN GRITTED TEETH)
Oh my God don’t let the ice cream fool
you that guy is totally glaring at us!
APRIL LOOKS TOWARDS WHERE LESLIE IS LOOKING ONLY TO SEE A KID

EATING AN ICE CREAM CONE.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Walk faster! Walk faster!
AND THEY DO.

WITHIN SECONDS THEY REACH THE BALLPARK. OR WHAT’S PASSING FOR

A BALL PARK.
THERE’S DIRT, ROUGHLY IN A DIAMOND SHAPE. THERE IS A

BACKSTOP, A RUSTED, WARPED METAL BACKSTOP. AND GARBAGE AND
WEEDS ALL OVER THE PLACE.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Here it is.
APRIL
It kind of reminds me of the pit.
LESLIE
Well, let’s get cleaning.
APRIL LOOKS AT LESLIE DISBELIEVING.
LESLIE SMILES BACK.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Oh come on, it won’t be so bad!
CUT TO:
APRIL TALKING HEAD
APRIL
If I didn’t sleep in that day they

assigned internships I would be
somewhere really cool right now. My
one friend, he’s interning at a
factory that makes sticky notes.
Boring? Sure.
CUT TO:
EXT. RUN DOWN BALLPARK - DAY

(APRIL)
LESLIE STARTING TO PICK UP GARBAGE STREWN AROUND THE DIAMOND.

APRIL (V.O.)
But would it beat picking up garbage
with Leslie? Probably.
WE SEE APRIL, NOT HELPING. SHE’S SITTING ON A BENCH TEXTING

SOMEONE.
APRIL (CONT’D)
Plus I’d know the secret formula to
how they make sticky notes.
CUT TO:
APRIL TALKING HEAD
PICKING UP STICKY NOTES FROM THE DESK IN FRONT OF HER AND

EXAMINING THEM.
APRIL
Or I guess it’s just glue and paper.

(BEAT)
I think I’d want to work at a factory
with a secret formula. Oompa Loompa’s
never picked up garbage.
CUT TO:
(MARK, LESLIE, APRIL)
LESLIE AND APRIL WALK INTO THE OFFICE, DIRTY AND LOOKING
EXHAUSTED.
MARK IS SITTING ON ONE OF THE DESKS WAITING.
MARK
There you are! I’ve been waiting for
you!
LESLIE INSTANTLY PERKS UP.

LESLIE
You’ve been waiting for me?!
MARK
Uh, yeah.
REMEMBERING SHE LOOKS A MESS LESLIE STARTS TRYING TO

STRAIGHTEN HERSELF UP.
LESLIE
Sorry, I look horrible I know. We were
at this park and it was just covered
in junk, and April got this emergency
text message thing she had to respond
to so I’ve been crawling around
cleaning the whole thing myself.
Sorry, I’m sure I look horrible.
MARK
(COULDN’T CARE LESS)
Whatever. Look I came by to tell you I
talked to the guys, it took some
convincing but we’re going to

reschedule our game. The permits
yours.
LESLIE
Oh my God! Mark you didn’t! You’re the
best!
LESLIE RUSHES MARK, HUGGING HIM TIGHTLY.
AND HUGGING HIM.
AND HUGGING HIM.

MARK
Alright, alright.
LESLIE LETS GO.
LESLIE
You have no idea how much we
appreciate this, isn’t that right
April?
APRIL
So we spent the whole afternoon
cleaning that park for nothing?
Unbelievable.
APRIL GETS UP AND LEAVES IN A HUFF.
LESLIE
Don’t mind her, I think she’s still a
little shaken up from her emergency
text message.
MARK
So, are you going to like, go to the

game?
LESLIE
Yeah, yeah. No, I’m coming. Are you?
MARK
I was thinking about it.
LESLIE
Nice.
THE TWO STAND THERE AS THE AWKWARD BRAND OF SILENCE TAKES

OVER THE CONVERSATION.
FINALLY...
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Maybe we could sit together?
MARK
Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure. We could do
that.
SILENCE AGAIN FOR A LONG BEAT.
MARK (CONT’D)
Well I should... go.
LESLIE
Sure, yeah. I’ll see you at the game!
MARK
See you there.
CUT TO:
LESLIE TALKING HEAD
LESLIE
Did organizing the championship go
smoothly? Yes. I mean not in the

traditional sense of smoothly, sure,
but Tom and April are heading to
Breech Park with all the supplies,
it’s supposed to be beautiful weather,
and I get to sit with Mark
Brendanawicz. So you know, not bad?
CUT TO:
INT. LESLIE AND TOM’S OFFICE - EVENING

(LESLIE)
LESLIE STARTS PACKING THINGS UP FOR THE NIGHT.
LESLIE (V.O.)
Plus I’ve put my own stamp on the
event. Special trophies to pay tribute
to International Woman’s Bowling
Month. Gotta show your support.
LESLIE TURNS OFF THE LIGHTS AND LEAVES HER OFFICE.
CUT TO:
LESLIE TALKING HEAD
LESLIE
Were there some set backs and
headaches? Yeah, but you know I think
it will all feel worth while when I
see the look of the faces of those
kids tonight. I can’t wait!
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - EVENING
(LESLIE)
LESLIE WALKS DOWN THE HALL HUMMING ‘TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL
GAME’.
THAN SHE STOPS, THINKS ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT, AND DECIDES TO

WALK OVER TO THE NEWS BOX.
LESLIE
Pick me up a little small talk
generator.
SHE PUTS HER MONEY IN, OPENS UP THE BOX AND GRABS A
NEWSPAPER.
CAREFULLY SHE CLOSES THE DOOR TO THE BOX,BEING SURE TO KEEP

ANY SHIRT SLEEVES OUT.
SUCCESS! BOTH HER ARMS ARE FREE.
PROUD OF HER SELF SHE BEGINS TO WALK AWAY.
THAN SUDDENLY, SHE ALMOST TRIPS.
SHE TRIES YANKING HER ONE LEG AGAIN, AND AGAIN.
HER PANT LEG HAS SOMEHOW GOTTEN STUCK IN THE MACHINE.
SHE PULLS ONE MORE TIME, NO USE.
LESLIE (CONT’D)
Hello? Hello?!
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW

Parks and Recreation - Out of Her League

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Parks and Recreation - Out of Her League

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"Out of Her League"

May 14th, 2009

EXT. FOOT BRIDGE - DAY

LESLIE STANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A LONG FOOT BRIDGE, BEAMING

I’m so glad I could show you guys

this. This is the Arthur Allan foot

bridge, named after my boss Ron

Swanson’s predecessor, Arthur Allan.

This! This is his legacy!

LESLIE WAVES HER HAND WITH A FLOURISH RESERVED FOR PRESENTING

SHE CROSSES OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE

And look at this, look, look.

LESLIE TAPS THE POST ON THE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE.

THE CAMERA DOES NOT.

It looks like real wood from afar

doesn’t it? Totally synthetic! No kids

will get splinters from this puppy,

it’s like a wonder of the modern ages.

LESLIE PAUSES, BREATHING IN THE INSPIRATION.

You know they put a plaque up to

honour Arthur Allan, cause it’s his

legacy and all.

THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN OVER LESLIE’S SHOULDER.

SURE ENOUGH THERE IS THE PLAQUE.

AND WHAT APPEARS TO BE A HOMELESS PERSON URINATING ON IT.

I can’t help but dream that one day

when the pit my staff and I are

tirelessly working on turning into a

park is complete, that Pawnee will

feel the need to honour me the same

LESLIE TURNS TO SEE THE PLAQUE AND FINALLY NOTICES WHAT WE

Sir! Sir! Stop that, you are

LESLIE RUNS AT THE HOMELESS MAN, SEEMINGLY TO SHOO HIM AWAY

INT. RON’S OFFICE - DAY

RON SITS CASUALLY BEHIND HIS DESK, A STRIKING OPPOSITE FROM

Is this about the re-zoning committee,

Ron? Have they made a decision?

No Leslie, this isn’t about some made

up bureaucratic voodoo like zoning,

this is about something that’ll

actually do people good.

Turning that pit into a park will do a

lot of people a lot of good.

LESLIE’S ENTHUSIASM OBVIOUSLY RUFFLES RON’S FEATHERS.

Alright, let’s not drag this out. I’m

putting you in charge of organizing

the Pawnee Little League World Series

this year. That’s all, alright?

LESLIE STARES AT RON, MOUTH GAPING.

RON TALKING HEAD

Yes, I put Leslie in charge of this

year’s little league championship.

‘Cause every year I do it and it’s

always the same.

Coaches want this, parents want that.

I’d rather be home cleaning the

eavestrough, frankly. Plus this year

there’s that whole thing with the

permit... I mentioned the permit thing

LESLIE TALKING HEAD

The Pawnee Little League World Series.

Wow. What a show of trust, that Ron

would put me in charge. The Little