Who is most responsible for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet?

Create a title related to your essay, not the task question

Did you use checklist? Double space the paragraphs?
Did you use checklist? No questions posed in intro?
Have you ever decided that you need help for a subject in school, such as
Math or English, and sought help from a mentor? <<off topic
Mentors are very advantageous for a pupil, because of their experience and
knowledge to help guide a lesser experienced or knowledgeable person. However,
in the play, Romeo and Juliet, written by William Shakespeare, Romeos mentor,
Friar Laurence, was the most responsible for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet because
of his involvement in their plan. Friar Laurence had a major influence on Romeo and
Juliets deaths because of his un-wise decisions, dishonesty, and miscommunication.
The task is mentors because there is a lot online about the Friars blame. Mentors
was also debated in class.
The un-wise decisions made by Friar Laurence had a major effect on Romeo
and Juliets deaths because it caused him to have active involvement in their
relationship, which influenced him to make disreputable decisions in order to solve
other issues like the Capulet and Montague feud.<<run-on sentence. Too many
ideas try shorter sentences. Provide a context lead-in to proof, as practiced in the
lab. Is my dear son with such sour company. I bring thee tidings of the Princes
doom. The Friar shows his support for Romeo when he helps him sort out a plan
with Juliet to help them escape and live together (Act 3, Scene 3). << MLA format
error. See OWL or D2L handout This quote reflects the Friars poor decision-making
skill because he knew that he faced consequences and risks when deciding to help
Romeo, because It was unlawful, and that it would ruin his reputation as a religious
man, but he chose to help Romeo regardless; however, if the Friar was sensible, he
wouldve found a principled approach to solving the Capulet and Montague feud,
and he could have avoided Romeo and Juliets deaths.<<again, run-on sentence
Analysis needed
The dishonesty from Friar Laurence towards the Capulet and Montague family, and
Paris, was used to protect Romeo and Juliets relationship and to resolve the feud
between the Capulets and Montagues; however, in the play, it did the exact
opposite and ended up in killing the two lovers.
Oh, she knew well
Thy love did read by rote, that could not spell.
But come, young waverer, come, go with me,
In one respect Ill thy assistant be,
For this alliance may so happy prove
To turn your households' rancor to pure love (Act 2, Scene 3).
This quote shows dishonesty from Friar Laurence because of him agreeing on
marrying Romeo and Juliet without their parents consent to keep Romeo and Juliets
relationship alive. Later in the story, this becomes an issue, where Paris has to
marry Juliet, which the Friar was unaware of, which resulted in Friar Laurence having
to keep lying in order to not get caught, and at the end, he tells the truth to Paris
about his falsehood and how it resulted in Romeo and Juliets deaths.

Friar Laurence is responsible for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet because of
his failure to communicate adequately between Romeo and Juliet in their plan which
ended up in them killing themselves.
Unhappy fortune! By my brotherhood,
The letter was not nice but full of charge,
Of dear import, and the neglecting it
May do much danger. Friar John, go hence
Get me an iron crow and bring it straight
Unto my cell. (Act 5, Scene 2)
This statement shows that Friar Laurence acknowledges his mistake, and the danger
associated with his mistake in planning had caused; however, if Friar Laurence had
told Romeo the plan before he left for Mantua, this mistake would have been
avoidable. Friar Laurences negligence to communicate properly to Romeo about the
plan had caused a disaster, because when Romeo returned to see Juliet, his
misunderstanding about her being dead was due the lack of explanation from Friar
Laurence, and failure to deliver Romeo the letter, which resulted in both of them
killing themselves in the end. <<avoid speculative language analysis is needed.
Discuss what is not what if.
Friar Laurence was most responsible for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet
because of improper decisions, miscommunication between their relationship and
plans, and dishonesty; although the Friar did many bad things, its thought?? that it
was just that his decisions in between Romeo and Juliets relationship were lacking
thought and were very hastily decided.

Your effort here is noted.

You have some argument-proof organization and structure, and the writing is mostly
clear, but analysis is lacking. The quotations are much too long for this small essay.
Work toward precision to select the best line or words. Sentence structure is
unfortunately run-on still and not meeting 2D expectations.

ENG2D-16 R&J LIT ESSAY

R 1 2 3 4 THINKING:

FEEDBACK

Uses class lessons to maturely consider the topic relevant to R&J

Accurately and thoroughly understood topic, play, and task
Thoughtful, and with some complexity

R 1+ 2 3 4 APPLICATION:
Literary essay structure, organization, and techniques (as shown in class)
Strong matching and linking of argument and proof and thesis reinforcement

Clear and consistent topic focus

Completed and used the writing process steps taught
R1234

COMMUNICATION:
Writing mechanics, expression, diction, clarity, sentence & paragraph structure
MLA citation
Accurate use of qualifiers; avoidance of absolutes and intensifiers
Voice, tone, presentation (2D level)

R 1 2 3 4 KNOWLEDGE/UNDERSTANDING:
Clear evidence of comprehension; consideration of entire play
Insight on the topic; awareness of action, consequence, causality, outcome
Shapes and presents information in literary essay style

PROBLEM SPOTS YOU SHOULD WORK ON:

clarity
wordiness
(analysis)
verb tense

formal diction
academic style (expression)

class lesson connections

thinking and insight

sentence structure

precision (diction)

paragraph logic

selecting/using proof

You did not write enough

connecting proof