Date: July 17, 2016

To: Traci Grant

From: Parker Smith
Re: Proposal Effectiveness
The purpose of this memo is to describe where the Meaningful Outdoor Experiences
proposal is effective and where it could use improvement.
Current Situation
The lack of this section is the biggest issue with this proposal. Without a clear statement
of the current scenario and how it is detrimental to the organization, this proposal feels
like a well intentioned but misguided wish that a biology teacher wants to force upon an
entire school.
Project Plan
The project plan is divided into obvious phases (Preparation, Action, and Reflection),
but could use refinement to include more specific deliverables at the end of each
section, such as what specific data will be collected at each site.
Contrast
Contrast is used in both the black text on the white background and the larger and
occasionally underlined section headers. More contrast in the form of images to help
break up the monotony would be a useful addition.
Repetition
Section headers are bolded. Each paragraph in the Why section has a short bolded
introductory paragraph above it. Making the header spacing on page 2 and 3 consistent
with the rest of the proposal would add repetition and consistency.
Alignment
The entire proposal is left aligned block style, giving the appearance of a wall of text.
The addition of images and aligning them with their sections would make this proposal
much more visually appealing. Better alignment on the Project Summary page at the
beginning of the proposal could be used by left aligning the project objective bullet
points with the contact information above and the summary of work below.

Proximity

Each header in the How section is located close to its related paragraph to visually
associate them, but the rest of the proposal leaves equal spacing above and below
headings. Moving them closer to their related information would make it easy to discern
what information is associated with each heading.
Font
A plain, boring Times New Roman (or something that looks just like it) is used
throughout the proposal. A different font, such as Arial or something similar, would get
rid of the bureaucratic feel while still retaining a professional appearance.
Qualifications
No qualifications are given for the named applicant (Ted Walsh), nor the science teacher
who consults for the Carmel River Watershed Council. The proposal would benefit
significantly from more background information on this consultant and his qualifications
to lead a project of this scope.
Costs and Benefits
The financial costs are laid out in the beginning of the proposal, but the costs of in-class
student instructional time as well as additional time requirements for teachers outside of
the classroom are notably absent. The benefits are well laid out in the Benefits
section, but feel like they should in the Why section, which is instead muddled with
strange and often difficult to read requirements and descriptions of how the proposal
meets them.
Sentence Structure
There are a number of sentences that, although grammatically correct, are difficult to
follow and digest. They should be revised for better cohesion for the reader.
Please contact me if you have any concerns, recommendations for improvement, or
questions at parker@parkersmith.us.