The Structure of a Paragraph

A well-developed paragraph contains

Indentation
a well-focused topic sentence
unied, speci c supporting details (de nitions, examples, explanations,
or other

evidence)

transitions and repetition that show how the ideas are related

Topic sentence

A topic sentence may suggest the order in which details are discussed in
the paragraph,

thereby helping readers know what to expect.

READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES. CIRCLE THE TOPIC AND UNDERLINE THE
CONTROLLING IDEA.

READ THE FOLLOWING TOPIC SENTENCES AND IMPROVE THEM:

1. Families are important.
2. Families in Argentina are great.
3. All around the world, families are strict.

Supporting sentences

Explain the topic sentence

Support the topic sentence with evidence, such as examples, facts, statistics,
personal
experience, and denitions

For a paragraph to develop a single idea, it needs to have unity. A unied

paragraph
stays focused on one idea, without switching or wandering from topic to topic.
A

paragraph also should be of a reasonable length, neither too short nor too long.
Short
paragraphs look skimpy and are often underdeveloped; long paragraphs are
difcult
for your reader to follow.
-

Effective Paragraphs Have Unity

In a uni ed paragraph, all of the sentences directly support the topic sentence.
Including details that are not relevant to the topic sentence makes your
paragraph unclear
and distracts your reader from the point you are making. To identify irrelevant
details,
evaluate each sentence by asking the following questions.
1. Does this sentence directly explain the topic sentence? What new
information
does it add?
2. Would any essential information be lost if this sentence were deleted? (If
not, delete it.)
3. Is this information distracting or unimportant? (If so, delete it.)

PARAGRAPH LACKING UNITY

(1) Much of the violence we see in the world today may be caused by the
emphasis
on violence in the media. (2) More often than not, the front page of the local
newspaper
contains stories involving violence. (3) In fact, one recent issue of my local
newspaper
contained seven references to violent acts. (4) There is also violence in public
school
systems. (5) Television reporters frequently hasten to crime and accident
scenes and lm

every grim, violent detail. (6) The other day, there was a drive-by shooting
downtown.
(7) If the media were a little more careful about the ways in which they
glamorize
violence, there might be less violence in the world today and children would be
less
inuenced by it.
Although sentences 4 and 6 deal with the broad topic of violence, neither is
directly related to the idea of the media promoting violence the main point
stated in the topic sentence. Both should be deleted.
Exercise 7.3
Working alone or in a group of two or three students, read the following
paragraph and identify
the sentences that do not support the topic sentence. The topic sentence is
underlined.
1. (a) Today many options and services for the elderly are available that did
not
exist years ago. (b) My grandmother is eighty-ve years old now. (c) Adult care
for the elderly is now provided in many parts of the country. (d) Similar to day
care, adult care provides places where the elderly can go for meals and social
activities. (e) Retirement homes for the elderly, where they can live fairly
independently with minimal supervision, are another option. (f) My grandfather
is also
among the elderly at eighty-two. (g) Even many nursing homes have changed
so
that residents are afforded some level of privacy and independence while their
needs are being met.

Effective Paragraphs Are Well Developed

A uni ed paragraph provides adequate and convincing evidence to explain the

topic

sentence. Include enough supporting details to demonstrate that your topic

sentence
is accurate and believable. Evidence can include explanations, examples, or
other kinds
of information that help the reader understand and believe the assertion in the
topic
sentence. The following example shows an underdeveloped paragraph that is
revised
into a well-developed paragraph.
UNDERDEVELOPED PARAGRAPH
Email and instant messaging (IM) are important technological advances, but
they have
hidden limitations, even dangers. It is too easy to avoid talking to people face
to face.
Using email can be addictive, too. Plus, they encourage ordinary people to
ignore others
while typing on a keyboard.
DEVELOPED PARAGRAPH
Email and instant messaging (IM) are important technological advances, but
they have
hidden limitations, even dangers. While email and instant messaging allow fast
and
ef cient communication and exchange of information, they provide a different
quality
of human interaction. It is too easy to avoid talking to people. It is easier to
click on
ones Buddy List and check to see if she wants to meet for dinner than it
would
be to look up her number and actually talk to her. Online you can post a be
right
back message, avoiding an intrusion into your life. In fact, using these
services can

become addictive. For example, some students on campus are obsessed with
checking
their email several times throughout the day. They spend their free time talking
to email
acquaintances across the country, while ignoring interesting people right in the
same
room. Because computer interaction is not face to face, email and instant
messenger
addicts are shortchanging themselves of real human contact. There is
something to be
said for responding not only to a persons words but to their expressions,
gestures, and
tone of voice.
These two versions of the paragraph differ in the degree to which the ideas are
developed. The rst paragraph has skeletal ideas that support the topic
sentence,
but those ideas are not explained. For example, the rst paragraph does not
explain why email and instant messaging are important or provide any
evidence of
how or why email can be addictive. Notice that the second paragraph explains
how
email and instant messaging allow for fast and ef cient communication and
gives
further information about the addictive qualities of email. The second
paragraph
also explains the qualities of face-to-face interaction that are absent from
online
communication.
To discover if your paragraphs are well developed, begin by considering your
audience. Have you given them enough information to make your ideas
understandable
and believable? Try reading your paragraph aloud, or ask a friend to do so.
Listen for

places where you jump quickly from one idea to another without explaining the
rst
idea. To nd supporting evidence for a topic sentence, use a prewriting
strategy from
Chapter 4. Also, the same types of evidence shown in the table on page 105 to
support
a thesis can be used to develop a paragraph. You may need to do some
research to nd
this evidence.

Concluding or Transitional Sentence

Draws the paragraph to a close. Paraphrases the topic sentence.

MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 146 1/5/09 3:4Exercise 7.4

Use Table 5.1 (p. 105) to suggest the type or types of evidence that might be
used to develop a
paragraph based on each of the following topic sentences.
1. Many people have fallen prey to fad diets, risking their health and
jeopardizing their
mental well-being.
2. One can distinguish experienced soccer players from rookies by obvious
signs.
3. To begin a jogging routine, take a relaxed but deliberate approach.

4. The interlibrary loan system is a fast and convenient method for obtaining
print
materials from libraries af liated with the campus library.
5. Southwest Floridas rapid population growth poses a serious threat to its
freshwater
supply.
Exercise 7.5
Create a well-developed paragraph by adding details to the following
paragraph.
Although it is convenient, online shopping is a different experience than
shopping in an actual
store. You dont get the same opportunity to see and feel objects. Also, you can
miss out on other
important information. There is much that you miss. If you enjoy shopping, turn
off your computer and
support your local merchants.
Effective Paragraphs Provide Speci c
Supporting Details
The evidence you provide to support your topic sentences should be concrete
and speci c. Speci c details interest your readers and make your meaning
clear and forceful.
Compare the following two examples.
VAGUE
Many people are confused about the difference between a psychologist and
a psychiatrist. Both have a license, but a psychiatrist has more education than
a
psychologist. Also, a psychiatrist can prescribe medication.
CONCRETE AND SPECIFIC
Many people are confused about the difference between psychiatrists and

psychologists. Both are licensed by the state to practice psychotherapy.

However, a
psychiatrist has earned a degree from medical school and can also practice
medicine.
Additionally, a psychiatrist can prescribe psychotropic medications. A
psychologist, on
the other hand, usually has earned a Ph.D. but has not attended medical school
and
therefore cannot prescribe medication of any type.
General statements that do not
completely explain the topic
sentence
Concrete details make clear the
distinction between the two
terms
| INCLUDING SUPPORTING DET AILS 147
MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 147 1/5/09 3:4148 CHAPTER 7 | WRI TING
EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
To make your paragraphs concrete and speci c, use the following guidelines.
1. Focus on who, what, when, where, how, and why questions. Ask yourself
these
questions about your supporting details, and use the answers to expand and
revise
your paragraph.
VAGUE Some animals hibernate for part of the year.
(What animals? When do they hibernate?)
SPECIFIC Some bears hibernate for three to four months each winter.
2. Name names. Include the names of people, places, brands, and objects.
VAGUE When my sixty-three-year-old aunt was refused a job, she became an

angry victim of age discrimination.

SPECIFIC When my sixty-three-year-old Aunt Angela was refused a job at
Vickis Nail Salon, she became an angry victim of age discrimination.
3. Use action verbs. Select strong verbs that will help your readers visualize the
action.
VAGUE When Silina came on stage, the audience became excited.
SPECIFIC When Silina burst onto the stage, the audience screamed, cheered,
and chanted Silina, Silina!
4. Use descriptive language that appeals to the senses (smell, touch, taste,
sound,
sight). Words that appeal to the senses enable your readers to feel as if they
are
observing or participating in the experience you are describing.
VAGUE Its relaxing to walk on the beach.
SPECIFIC I walked in the sand next to the ocean, breathing in the smell of the
salt water and listening to the rhythmic sound of the waves.
5. Use adjectives and adverbs. Including carefully chosen adjectives and
adverbs in your
description of a person, a place, or an experience can make your writing more
concrete.
VAGUE As I weeded my garden, I let my eyes wander over the meadow sweets
and hydrangeas, all the while listening to the chirping of a cardinal.
SPECIFIC As I slowly weeded my perennial garden, I let my eyes wander over
the pink meadow sweets and blue hydrangeas, all the while listening
absent-mindedly to the chirping of a bright red cardinal.
Exercise 7.6
Working alone or in a group of two or three students, revise and expand each
sentence in the

following paragraph to make it speci c and concrete. Feel free to add new
information and
new sentences.
I saw a great concert the other night in Dallas. Two groups were performing.
The music was
great, and there was a large crowd. In fact, the crowd was so enthusiastic that
the second group
performed one hour longer than scheduled.
MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 148 1/5/09 3:4Details Are Arranged Logically
The details in a paragraph should follow a logical order to make them easier to
follow. You might arrange the details from most to least (or least to most)
important, in
chronological order, or in spatial order. Refer to Chapter 6, pages 118121, for
more
information on each of these arrangements.
Essay in Progress 2
For the draft you worked with in Essay in Progress 1 on page 144, evaluate the
supporting
details you used in each paragraph. Revise to make each paragraph uni ed,
coherent,
and logically organized. Make sure you have provided concrete, speci c
details.
Using Transitions and Repetition
All of the details in a paragraph must t together and function as a connected
unit
of information. When a paragraph has coherence, its ideas ow smoothly,
allowing
readers to follow its progression with ease. Using one of the methods of
organization
discussed earlier in this chapter can help you show the connections among
details and

ideas. Two other useful devices for linking details are transitions between
sentences
and repetition of key terms.
Coherent Paragraphs Include Transitional Expressions
Transitions are words, phrases, or clauses that lead your reader from one idea
to another. Think of transitional expressions as guideposts, or signals, of what
is coming
next in a paragraph. Some commonly used transitions are shown in the box on
page 150,
grouped according to the type of connections they show.
In the two examples that follow, notice that the rst paragraph is disjointed
and
choppy because it lacks transitions, whereas the revised version is easier to
follow.
WITHOUT TRANSITIONS
Most lms are structured much like a short story. The lm begins with an
opening
scene that captures the audiences attention. The writers build up tension,
preparing for
the climax of the story. They complicate the situation by revealing other
elements of
the plot, perhaps by introducing a surprise or additional characters. They
introduce a
problem. It will be solved either for the betterment or to the detriment of the
characters
and the situation. A resolution brings the lm to a close.
WITH TRANSITIONS
Most lms are structured much like a short story. The lm begins with an
opening
scene that captures the audiences attention. Gradually, the writers build up
tension,

preparing for the climax of the story. Soon after the rst scene, they
complicate the
situation by revealing other elements of the plot, perhaps by introducing a
surprise or
additional characters. Next, they introduce a problem. Eventually, the problem
will be
solved either for the betterment or to the detriment of the characters and the
situation.
Finally, a resolution brings the lm to a close.
| USING TRANSI TIONS AND REPETI TION 149
MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 149 1/5/09 3:4150 CHAPTER 7 | WRI TING
EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
Essay in Progress 3
For the draft you worked with in Essay in Progress 2 on page 149, evaluate your
use of
transitions within each paragraph, adding them where needed to make the
relationship
among your ideas clearer.
Type of Connection Transitions
Logical Connections
Items in a series then, rst, second, next, another, furthermore, nally,
as well as
Illustration for instance, for example, namely, that is
Result or cause consequently, therefore, so, hence, thus, then,
as a result
Restatement in other words, that is, in simpler terms
Summary or conclusion nally, in conclusion, to sum up, all in all, evidently,
actually
Similarity/agreement similarly, likewise, in the same way

Difference/opposition but, however, on the contrary, nevertheless, neither,

nor, on the one/other hand, still, yet
Spatial Connections
Direction inside/outside, along, above/below, up/down, across,
to the right/left, in front of/behind
Nearness next to, near, nearby, facing, adjacent to
Distance beyond, in the distance, away, over there
Time Connections
Frequency often, frequently, now and then, gradually, week by
week, occasionally, daily, rarely
Duration during, brie y, hour by hour
Reference to a at two oclock, on April 27, in 2000, last
particular time Thanksgiving, three days ago
Beginning before then, at the beginning, at rst
Middle meanwhile, simultaneously, next, then, at that time
End nally, at last, eventually, later, at the end,
subsequently, afterward
COMMONL Y USED TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS
MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 150 1/5/09 3:4Exercise 7.7
The following student essay by Robin Ferguson on volunteering in a literacy
program was
written using the graphic organizer shown in Chapter 6, page 125. Read the
essay and
answer the questions that follow.
The Value of Volunteering
Robin Ferguson
I began working as a literacy volunteer as part of a community service course I
was

taking last semester. The course required a community service project, and I
chose literacy
volunteers simply as a means of ful lling a course requirement. Now I realize
that working as
a literacy volunteer taught me more about learning and friendship than I ever
expected.
When I rst went through the training program to become a literacy volunteer,
I learned
about the process of learning -- that is, the way in which people learn new
words most effectively. To illustrate this concept, the person who trained me
wrote a brief list of simple words
on the left side of a chalkboard and wrote phrases using the same words on the
right side of
the chalkboard. She instructed us to read the words and then asked which
words we would be
most likely to remember. We all said the words on the right because they made
more sense. In
other words, we could remember the words in the phrases more easily because
they made more
sense in context. The trainer showed us several more examples of words in
context so we could
get a grasp of how people learn new information by connecting it to what they
already know.
The training I received, though excellent, was no substitute for working with a
real student,
however. When I began to discover what other peoples lives are like because
they cannot read,
I realized the true importance of reading. For example, when I had my rst
tutoring session with
my client, Marie, a forty-four-year-old single mother of three, I found out she
walked two miles
to the nearest grocery store twice a week because she didnt know which bus
to take. When I told

her I would get her a bus schedule, she con ded to me that it would not help
because she could
not read it and therefore wouldnt know which bus to take. She also said she
had dif culty once
she got to the grocery store because she couldnt always remember what she
needed. Since she
did not know words, she could not write out a grocery list. Also, she identi ed
items by sight, so
if the manufacturer changed a label, she could not recognize it as the product
she wanted.
As we worked together, learning how to read built Maries self-con dence,
which gave her
an incentive to continue in her studies. She began to make rapid progress and
was even able
to take the bus to the grocery store. After this successful trip, she reported how
self-assured
she felt. Eventually, she began helping her youngest son, Mark, a shy rst
grader, with his
reading. She sat with him before he went to sleep, and together they would
read bedtime stories. When his eyes became wide with excitement as she read,
her pride swelled, and she began
| USING TRANSI TIONS AND REPETI TION 151
1
2
3
4
READING
MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 151 1/5/09 3:4152 CHAPTER 7 | WRi T ing Eff
ECTi v E PARAgRAPHs
to see how her own hard work in learning to read paid off. As she described this
experience,

I swelled with pride as well. I found that helping Marie to build her selfcondence was more
rewarding than anything I had ever done before.
As time went by, Marie and I developed a friendship that became permanent.
Because
we saw each other several times a week, we spent a lot of time getting to know
each other,
and we discovered we had certain things in common. For instance, Im also a
single parent.
So we began to share our similar experiences with each other. In fact, we have
even baby-sat
for each others children. I would drop my children off at her house while I
taught an evening
adult class, and in return, I watched her children while she worked on Saturday
mornings.
As a literacy volunteer, I learned a great deal about learning, teaching, and
helping others. I also established what I hope will be a lifelong friendship. In
fact, I may have beneted
more from the experience than Marie did.
1. Highlight each of the topic sentences in the body of the essay (between the
introduction and the conclusion). Evaluate how well each supports the thesis.
2. What type(s) of evidence does Ferguson use to support each topic sentence?
3. What method(s) does Ferguson use to logically arrange her details within
paragraphs?
4. Highlight transitions that Ferguson uses to connect her ideas, both within
and
between paragraphs.
students Write
Chapters 46 show Christine Lees progress in planning and drafting an essay
on
reality television. Below you can see her rst draft paragraph (also included in

Chapter 6 as part of her rst draft essay, p. 132) and her revision to strengthen
the
paragraph.
Fi r s t Dr aFt Pa r a g r aPh
Big Brother started as the rst of the reality TV spinoffs but audiences didnt
have
the same things to respond to. It has never been a success because they took
the basic
concept of Survivor and added nothing new or interesting to it. Big Brother
locked a
bunch of people up together in a house and forced the audience to watch them
bicker
over nothing. Viewers were forced to watch bored contestants bicker and ght,
locked
up in a house with nothing else to do. It didnt seem the kind of competition
that
Survivor was, even though there was a cash prize on the line. The cash prize
wasnt
large enough anyways. We didnt choose favorites because the players werent
up against
anything, except ghting off weeks of boredom. Big Brother introduced
audience
participation with the television audience voting off members, which actually
only
gave the house members less to do and less motive to scheme and plot their
allegiances
like the castaways on Survivor. Voting members off was an arbitrary and
meaningless
process. But Big Brother had the prize component, and it took away the
housemates
access to the outside world.
5

CW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 152 6/1/09 re v i s eD Pa r a g r aPh

Big Brother was the rst spin-off reality TV show to try and repeat the success
of Survivor,
but it did not offer the drama that Survivor did. In Big Brother, contestants were
locked
in a house without any outside contact for weeks. Like Survivor, there was a
cash prize
on the line, but in Big Brother there were not any competitions or struggles.
Contestants
were expelled by a viewer phone poll, but the viewer phone poll gave the
house members
no motive to scheme and plot allegiances like Survivor. In fact, the contestants
had little
to do, and viewers were forced to watch bored contestants bicker and ght.
Viewers were
not interested in the players who were not up against anything except ghting
off weeks of
boredom. In the end, Big Brother was simply not interesting.
Analyzing the Writers Technique
1. How did Lee strengthen her topic sentence?
2. What irrelevant details did she delete?
3. What transitions did she add to provide coherence?
4. What words are repeated that contribute to coherence?
5. What further revisions do you recommend?
Working with Text
In Chapter 6, you read the essay Black Men and Public Space by Brent
Staples

(p. 134). Return to this essay now and examine Stapless use and placement of
topic
sentences. As you read, highlight each topic sentence and study how each is
supported
with concrete, specic details.
| WoRking Wi TH T ExT 15