6/8/2015

TheSubtleArtofNotGivingaFuck

THESUBTLEARTOFNOT
GIVINGAFUCK
January8,201512minutereadbyMarkManson

nmylife,Ihavegivenafuckaboutmanypeople
andmanythings.Ihavealsonotgivenafuck
aboutmanypeopleandmanythings.Andthose
fucksIhavenotgivenhavemadeallthe

difference.
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Peopleoftensaythekeytoconfidenceandsuccessinlifeistosimply
notgiveafuck.Indeed,weoftenrefertothestrongest,most
admirablepeopleweknowintermsoftheirlackoffucksgiven.Like
Oh,lookatSusieworkingweekendsagain,shedoesntgiveafuck.
OrDidyouhearthatTomcalledthecompanypresidentanassholeand
stillgotaraiseanyway?Holyshit,thatdudedoesnotgiveafuck.Or
JasongotupandendedhisdatewithCindyafter20minutes.Hesaid
hewasntgoingtolistentoherbullshitanymore.Man,thatguydoes
notgiveafuck.
Chancesareyouknowsomebodyinyourlifewho,atonetimeor
another,didnotgiveafuckandwentontoaccomplishamazingfeats.
Perhapstherewasatimeinyourlifewhereyousimplydidnotgivea
fuckandexcelledtosomeextraordinaryheights.Iknowfor
myself,quittingmydayjobinfinanceafteronlysixweeksandtelling
mybossthatIwasgoingtostartsellingdatingadviceonlineranks
prettyhighupthereinmyowndidntgiveafuckhalloffame.Same
withdecidingtosellmostofmypossessionsandmovetoSouth
America.Fucksgiven?None.Justwentanddidit.

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Now,whilenotgivingafuckmayseemsimpleonthesurface,itsa
wholenewbagofburritosunderthehood.Idontevenknowwhatthat
sentencemeans,butIdontgiveafuck.Abagofburritossounds
awesome,soletsjustgowithit.
Thepointis,mostofusstrugglethroughoutourlivesbygivingtoo
manyfucksinsituationswherefucksdonotdeservetobegiven.We
giveafuckabouttherudegasstationattendantwhogaveustoomany
nickels.WegiveafuckwhenashowwelikedwascanceledonTV.We
giveafuckwhenourcoworkersdontbotheraskingusaboutour
awesomeweekend.Wegiveafuckwhenitsrainingandwewere
supposedtogojogginginthemorning.

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Fucksgiveneverywhere.Strewnaboutlikeseedsinmotherfucking
springtime.Andforwhatpurpose?Forwhatreason?Convenience?
Easycomforts?Apatonthefuckingbackmaybe?
Thisistheproblem,myfriend.
Becausewhenwegivetoomanyfucks,whenwechoosetogivea
fuckabouteverything,thenwefeelasthoughweareperpetually
entitledtofeelcomfortableandhappyatalltimes,thatswhenlife
fucksus.
Indeed,theabilitytoreserveourfucksforonlythemostfuckworthyof
situationswouldsurelymakelifeahellofaloteasier.Failurewouldbe
lessterrifying.Rejectionlesspainful.Unpleasantnecessitiesmore
pleasantandtheunsavoryshitsandwichesalittlebitmoresavory.I
mean,ifwecouldonlygiveafewlessfucks,orafewmore
consciouslydirectedfucks,thenlifewouldfeelprettyfuckingeasy.
Whatwedontrealizeisthatthereisafineartofnonfuckgiving.
Peoplearentjustbornnotgivingafuck.Infact,wereborngivingway
toomanyfucks.Everwatchakidcryhiseyesoutbecausehishatisthe
wrongshadeofblue?Exactly.Fuckthatkid.
Developingtheabilitytocontrolandmanagethefucksyougiveisthe
essenceofstrengthandintegrity.Wemustcraftandhoneourlackof
fuckeryoverthecourseofyearsanddecades.Likeafinewine,our
fucksmustageintoafinevintage,onlyuncorkedandgivenonthemost
specialfuckingoccasions.
Thismaysoundeasy.Butitisnot.Mostofus,mostofthetime,get
suckedinbylifesmeantrivialities,steamrolledbyitsunimportant
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dramasweliveanddiebythesidenotesanddistractionsand
vicissitudesthatsuckthefucksoutofuslikeSashaGreyinthemiddle
ofagangbang.
Thisisnowaytolive,man.Sostopfuckingaround.Getyourfucks
together.Andhere,allowmetofuckingshowyou.

SUBTLETY#1:NOTGIVINGA
FUCKDOESNOTMEANBEING
INDIFFERENTITMEANSBEING
COMFORTABLEWITHBEING
DIFFERENT
Whenmostpeopleenvisiongivingnofuckswhatsoever,theyenvision
akindofperfectandsereneindifferencetoeverything,acalmthat
weathersallstorms.
Thisismisguided.Theresabsolutelynothingadmirableorconfident
aboutindifference.Peoplewhoareindifferentarelameandscared.
Theyrecouchpotatoesandinternettrolls.Infact,indifferentpeople
oftenattempttobeindifferentbecauseinrealitytheyactuallygivetoo
manyfucks.Theyareafraidoftheworldandtherepercussionsoftheir
ownchoices.Therefore,theymakenone.Theyhideinagrey
emotionlesspitoftheirownmaking,selfabsorbedandselfpitied,
perpetuallydistractingthemselvesfromthisunfortunatething
demandingtheirtimeandenergycalledlife.
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Mymotherwasrecentlyscrewedoutofalargechunkofmoneybya
closefriendofhers.HadIbeenindifferent,Iwouldhaveshruggedmy
shoulders,sippedsomemochaanddownloadedanotherseasonofThe
Wire.Sorrymom.
Butinstead,Iwasindignant.Iwaspissedoff.Isaid,No,screwthat
mom,weregoingtolawyerthefuckupandgoafterthisasshole.Why?
BecauseIdontgiveafuck.IwillruinthisguyslifeifIhaveto.
Thisillustratesthefirstsubtletyaboutnotgivingafuck.Whenwesay,
Damn,watchout,MarkMansonjustdontgiveafuck,wedont
meanthatMarkMansondoesntcareaboutanythingonthecontrary,
whatwemeanisthatMarkMansondoesntcareaboutadversityinthe
faceofhisgoals,hedoesntcareaboutpissingsomepeopleofftodo
whathefeelsisrightorimportantornoble.WhatwemeanisthatMark
Mansonisthetypeofguywhowouldwriteabouthimselfinthird
personandusethewordfuckinanarticle127differenttimesjust
becausehethoughtitwastherightthingtodo.Hejustdoesntgivea
fuck.
Thisiswhatissoadmirableno,notme,dumbasstheovercoming
adversitystuff.Thestaringfailureinthefaceandshovingyourmiddle
fingerbackatit.Thepeoplewhodontgiveafuckaboutadversityor
failureorembarrassingthemselvesorshittingthebedafewtimes.The
peoplewhojustlaughandthendoitanyway.Becausetheyknowits
right.Theyknowitsmoreimportantthanthemandtheirownfeelings
andtheirownprideandtheirownneeds.TheysayFuckit,notto
everythinginlife,butrathertheysayFuckittoeverything
unimportantinlife.Theyreservetheirfucksforwhattrulyfucking
matters.Friends.Family.Purpose.Burritos.Andanoccasionallawsuit
ortwo.Andbecauseofthat,becausetheyreservetheirfucksforonly
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thebigthings,theimportantthings,peoplegiveafuckaboutthemin
return.

SUBTLETY#2:TONOTGIVEA
FUCKABOUTADVERSITY,YOU
MUSTFIRSTGIVEAFUCK
ABOUTSOMETHINGMORE
IMPORTANTTHANADVERSITY
EricHofferoncewrote:Amanislikelytomindhisownbusiness
whenitisworthminding.Whenitisnot,hetakeshismindoffhisown
meaninglessaffairsbymindingotherpeoplesbusiness.
Theproblemwithpeoplewhohandoutfuckslikeicecreamata
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goddamnsummercampisthattheydonthaveanythingmore
fuckworthytodedicatetheirfucksto.
Thinkforasecond.Youreatagrocerystore.Andtheresanelderly
ladyscreamingatthecashier,beratinghimfornotacceptingher30
centcoupon.Whydoesthisladygiveafuck?Itsjust30cents.
Well,Illtellyouwhy.Thatoldladyprobablydoesnthaveanything
bettertodowithherdaysthantositathomecuttingoutcouponsall
morning.Shesoldandlonely.Herkidsaredickheadsandnevervisit.
Shehasnthadsexinover30years.Herpensionisonitslastlegsand
shesprobablygoingtodieinadiaperthinkingshesinCandyland.She
cantfartwithoutextremelowerbackpain.ShecantevenwatchTV
formorethan15minuteswithoutfallingasleeporforgettingthemain
plotline.
Soshesnipscoupons.Thatsallshesgot.Itsherandherdamn
coupons.Allday,everyday.Itsallshecangiveafuckaboutbecause
thereisnothingelsetogiveafuckabout.Andsowhenthatpimply
faced17yearoldcashierrefusestoacceptoneofthem,whenhe
defendshiscashregisterspuritythewayknightsusedtodefend
maidensvirginities,youcandamnwellbetgrannyisgoingtoerupt
andverballyhulksmashhisfuckingfacein.Eightyyearsoffuckswill
raindownallatonce,likeafieryhailstormofBackinmydayand
Peopleusedtoshowmorerespectstories,boringtheworldaround
hertotearsinhercreakingandwobblyvoice.
Ifyoufindyourselfconsistentlygivingtoomanyfucksabouttrivialshit
thatbothersyouyourexgirlfriendsnewFacebookpicture,how
quicklythebatteriesdieintheTVremote,missingoutonyetanother2
for1saleonhandsanitizerchancesareyoudonthavemuchgoing
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oninyourlifetogivealegitimatefuckabout.Andthatsyourreal
problem.Notthehandsanitizer.

Waytoomanyfucksgiven.

Inlife,ourfucksmustbespentonsomething.Therereallyisnosuch
thingasnotgivingafuck.Thequestionissimplyhowweeachchoose
toallotourfucks.Youonlygetalimitednumberoffuckstogiveover
yourlifetime,soyoumustspendthemwithcare.Asmyfatherusedto
say,Fucksdontgrowontrees,Mark.OK,heneveractuallysaid
that.Butfuckit,pretendlikehedid.Thepointisthatfuckshavetobe
earnedandtheninvestedwisely.Fucksarecultivatedlikeabeautiful
fuckinggarden,whereifyoufuckshitupandthefucksgetfucked,then
youvefuckingfuckedyourfucksallthefuckup.

SUBTLETY#3:WEALLHAVEA
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LIMITEDNUMBEROFFUCKS
TOGIVEPAYATTENTIONTO
WHEREANDWHOYOUGIVE
THEMTO
Whenwereyoung,wehavetonsofenergy.Everythingisnewand
exciting.Andeverythingseemstomattersomuch.Therefore,wegive
tonsoffucks.Wegiveafuckabouteverythingandeveryoneabout
whatpeoplearesayingaboutus,aboutwhetherthatcuteboy/girlcalled
usbackornot,aboutwhetheroursocksmatchornotorwhatcolorour
birthdayballoonis.
Aswegetolder,wegainexperienceandbegintonoticethatmostof
thesethingshavelittlelastingimpactonourlives.Thosepeoples
opinionswecaredaboutsomuchbeforehavelongbeenremovedfrom
ourlives.Wevefoundtheloveweneedandsothoseembarrassing
romanticrejectionsceasetomeanmuchanymore.Werealizehowlittle
peoplepayattentiontothesuperficialdetailsaboutusandwefocuson
doingthingsmoreforourselvesratherthanforothers.
Essentially,webecomemoreselective
aboutthefuckswerewillingtogive.
Thisissomethingcalledmaturity.Its
nice,youshouldtryitsometime.Maturity
iswhathappenswhenonelearnstoonly
giveafuckaboutwhatstruly
fuckworthy.AsBunkMorelandsaid
inTheWire(which,fuckyou,Istill
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downloadedit)tohispartnerDetective
McNulty:Thatswhatyougetforgiving
afuckwhenitwasntyourturntogivea
fuck.

BunkMoreland,notgivingafuck
since2002.

Then,aswegrowolderandentermiddleage,somethingelsebeginsto
change.Ourenergylevelsdrop.Ouridentitiessolidify.Weknowwho
weareandwenolongerhaveadesiretochangewhatnowseems
inevitableinourlives.
Andinastrangeway,thisisliberating.Wenolongerneedtogivea
fuckabouteverything.Lifeisjustwhatitis.Weacceptit,wartsandall.
Werealizethatwerenevergoingtocurecancerorgotothemoonor
feelJenniferAnistonstits.AndthatsOK.Lifefuckinggoeson.We
nowreserveoureverdwindlingfucksonlyforthemosttruly
fuckworthypartsofourlives:ourfamilies,ourbestfriends,ourgolf
swing.Andtoourastonishment,thisisenough.Thissimplification
actuallymakesusreallyfuckinghappy.

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Thensomehow,oneday,muchlater,wewakeupandwereold.And
alongwithourgumlinesandoursexdrive,ourabilitytogiveafuck
hasrecededtothepointofnonexistence.Inthetwilightofourdays,
wecarryoutaparadoxicalexistencewherewenolongerhavethe
energytogiveafuckaboutthebigthingsinlife,andinsteadwemust
dedicatethefewfuckswehavelefttothesimpleandmundaneyet
increasinglydifficultaspectsofourlives:wheretoeatlunch,doctors
appointmentsforourcreakyjoints,30centdiscountsatthe
supermarket,anddrivingwithoutdriftingtosleepandkillingaparking
lotfulloforphans.Youknow,practicalconcerns.
Thenoneday,onourdeathbed,(hopefully)surroundedbythepeople
wegavethemajorityofourfuckstothroughoutourlife,andthosefew
whostillgiveafuckaboutus,withasilentgaspwewillgentlyletour
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lastfuckgo.Throughthetearsandthegentlyfadingbeepsoftheheart
monitorandtheeverdimmingfluorescenceencapsulatingusinits
divinehospitalhalo,wedriftintosomeunknowableandunfuckable
place.

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