Technical and

Scientific Prose Style

Karen Thompson Department of English University of Idaho
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Table of Contents
Be
Concise....................................................................................................................
3/15
Writing Lard: what it is, what causes it, and how to stop doing
it ............... 4/6 Cut unnecessary repetition.................................7
Bury dead phrases..................................................................................8
Revive near/death phrases..................................................................9
Check if modifiers are unnecessary.................................................10
Check level of specifics and detail ................................................................
11/14
Be
Precise.....................................................................................................................
15/20
Jargon ...........................................................................................................
16/18
Precise terminology and definitions................................................19
Use precise terminology correctly...................................................20
Be Direct
...................................................................................................................... 21/46
Use Strong Nouns ........................................................................................
22/25
Use Strong Verbs..........................................................................................
26/28

Use Mostly Active Voice (but know when passive voice is a better choice)
......................... 29/37 Use the Topic Position
................................................................................. 38/40
Use the Stress Position ................................................................................
41/46
Final Advice on How to Improve Your Prose Style.........................47

Be Concise

To be concise means
using only the words
necessary
to meet audience
needs and your purpose
for writing to them.

You may write

thousands of words
concisely, so its not
about writing fewer
words.

We l ove lard.

Yes, but we only e at i t,

we NEVER wri te i t.

Padding your prose with words that do not

contribute to meaning is writing lard.
Learn how to spot it and stop writing it.

 The most common reason

students develop the habit of
writing lard is trying to reach
Who are y ou calli ng strange sister?
word or page counts.

What Causes Lard?

Karens 8th Grade English

Teacher

Most teachers do not insist

insist that you meet a
specific page number or
else.
Okay, well, maybe my
8th grade English teacher
did, but she was a bit
strange.

About word
counts and page
length guidelines.

I give these guidelines

to help students think
about the level of
development
their
writing will need.
Writing words that do
not contribute to
meaning is adding lard.
Learn how to spot
and eliminate it.

already existing
introduced a new
alternative ch oices
mix together never before none at all
at the present time presen tly basic fu nda men tno
a lswcu
atrrth
en
istltiyme
at pr
thiva
is tte
ime
in du
com
str
plete
y sepa
ly e
had done previou sly
becau se

Cut unnecessary repetition and redundant

words or phrases and use only the word you
need.

Bury dead phrases.

A dead phrase is not saying

it is my intent to show as a matter of fact

anything
necessary.
as is well known as stated earlier it is noteworthy
th e presence
of
it goes without saying

Yes! They have a heartbeat now.

at the present time
now
at that point in time has the ability to has the potent
th en
ialcan
to in
will
theifevent th at
in the vicinity of owing to the fact that
nea r
the reason being that
becau se becau se

Some phrases may only be

near death; revivie with
another word.

the question as to whether wheth er

there is no doubt but that no doub t
for the purpose of
to

Check if modifiers are

unnecessary

Such as:

They take up space without

contributing much to
meaning. See if you need
them. If not, eliminate.

Actually,
Really,
Basically,
Very,
Definitely
Somewhat,
Kind of,
Probably,
Extremely,
Practically.

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0

Check the level of

specifics and
detail.

Using an unnecessary
level of specifics and
detail isnt lard because
in some
contexts, these would be
needed.
Lard is never
necessary except in
pies.

1
2

To determine if specifics
and detail are at the
right level, you need to
think about audience
and your purpose for
writing.

Example:
A mailing address is specific and
contains the details necessary for
someone to send you mail or a
package.
The specifics and details of a
mailing address, however, would
not be enough to identify
property in a mortgage contract.

Different audiences --Different purposes ---Different needs.

What pr oblems? Should I be worried?

What corr ective mea sures? Why a r e you te lling me this? What do you wa nt me to do?

Think about what you want readers to understand, think

about, or do after reading what you write. Are you writing
the level of specifics and details they need?

After recognizing some problems with the solar

mirrors, we took subsequent corrective

We recently discovered that ten solar mirrors

stored horizontally had cracked. The cause was
traced to large amounts of snow accumulating
on their surface. In the future, we will be stowing
all mirrors vertically.
I see, you are telling me about a
problem you solved.
Im relieved to know this.
Thanks for updating me about the solar
mirrors.

When analyzing your prior writing for the level of

specifics and detail, you may not quite remember what
you were trying to accomplish, so you may have trouble
figuring out what the audience needed.
If you cant remember audience and purpose, its okay
to speculate a bit (i.e. say something like if I was
trying to reach an audience with this level of knowledge
and if this was my purpose, then I needed to .).

Be Precise

To be precise means to
use technical
terminology
(jargon) appropriate to the
audiences knowledge.

Jargon is specific and

precise terminology used
within a particular
profession or field of
study.
Jargon helps specialized
audiences communicate
efficiently.

Examples of Jargon

Impedance buffer
Unity-gain amplifier
Binary fission
Chemical kinetics
Facultative anaerobe
Ionic bone

Dont use jargon when

your audience would
neither
understand it nor need it.

Instead, translate
difficult
concepts for non-specialized
audiences by writing (and
speaking) in plain English.

Precise terminology and definitions

Agglomerate:
small particles bonded into an integrated mass

Aggregate:
coarse particles such as sand or gravel

Hydraulic cement:
cement that bonds by a reaction with water

Precise terminology conveys specific

definitions as used in a given field or profession
without a writer needing to define the term.

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Use precise terminology correctly

when writing to specialized
audiences.
Our research presents a new technique for studying the
complex phenomena associated with the development of
sparks and other gas discharges.

Specialized audiences in this field would

know that sparks and gas discharges are
precisely defined as different from one
another.
In the sentence above, the phrase and
other conflates them as being similar.
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2

Be Direct

A direct prose style is

straightforward and
to write in a direct
style,
you need to use:

Strong nouns

Strong verbs

Mostly active voice

but know when passive is
a better choice.
Topic position

Stress position

Use Strong Nouns

Strong nouns refer to

specific person, place

or thing.

Use them to help

readers easily
visualize and connect
with what you are
saying.

They convey one or more of t he five senses:

Sight
SmellStrong nouns are concrete.
Sound
Taste
Touch

In technical and scientific prose, the most common

concrete nouns convey sight: a visual image.

Weak nouns:

The existing nature of Mount St. Helens

volcanic ash spewage was handled
through the applied use of computer
modeling capabilities.
Some of these nouns are really verbs that have
been structured to be nouns (not a good idea).

Revised using strong nouns (bolded).

We modeled how m uch volcanic as h spewed from Mt. St

Cray Comp uters

Notice how using

strong
Volcani
c As h nouns leads
to better verbs
Mt . St(underlined).
. Helens

Use Strong Verbs Strong verbs convey

action. They are
specific and
descriptive.

Weak:
This study shows . . .
The proposed research involves
Strong:
This study demonstrates . . .
The proposed research compares . . .

Using To Be Verbs

To be verbs are

passive

because they cannot

convey action only a
state of being:
is, are, was, were, etc.

They are fine to

use when defining
something.

A positron is a
positively
charged
electron.

When not defining something, use strong

verbs.

A new process for eliminating nitrogen

oxides from diesel exhaust engines is
presented. Flow tube experiments to test
this process are
discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen
oxide emissions is revealed.

Revised using strong verbs improves clarity.

This paper presents a new process for

eliminating nitrogen oxides from the exhaust of
diesel
engines. To test this process, we
performed
experiments in flow tubes.These

experiments revealed a 99 percent

decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions.

but know when

Because
sometimes
itsever
a better
rhetorical
Why in the
Use
hell would
Mostly
you
use passive
voice? choice.

Active Voice

Passive Voice
is the better choice.

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Active voice means the subjec t of a sentence is doi ng the acti on.

John washed the car.

The focus is on who is doing the action.

Passive voice means the object bei ng acted upon is the subject and who is

The car was washe d. Or

The car was washe d by John. The focus is on th e action .

3
3

Why is
this so hard???

Lets see if I
can make it easier.

Why this stuff is confusing.

Grammar checkers will count the number

of passive verbs (is, are, were, was, etc.).

A passive verb is not the same as passive voice.

So, lets use zombies instead of the

grammar checker.

An easy way to
determine if you
are writing in
passive voice.

If you can add by

zombies at the end
of the sentence, its
passive.

But,
sometimes
you need to use
passive voice.

In technical and
scientific prose,
passive voice is
preferred when what
was done is more
important than who is
doing it.

In these examples, the

emphasis is on the
action because readers
will be more interested
in what was done
than who did it.
So, passive voice is
needed.

DNA was extracted . . .

Test holes were bored . . .
Samples were taken . . .

Surveying was done . . .

ETC.

I n that an effort to identify a sp ecific control circuit resp onsible for the f

Wh at is this idiot
tryi
tellwm
B
ecng
autose
e e?
could

not locate the control circuit

resp onsible for the gear b ox failure, we resurveyed the collector field fo

Avoid writing needlessly passive voice because it

can make your writing very unclear.
Got it!

To check if your writing

is needlessly passive,
ask who is doing what.
Then decide if you have
a good reason for
writing in passive voice.
If not,
use active voice.

There is opposition to
vaccinating children by
parents who believe
vaccines contain harmful
additives.
Who is doing what?
Answer: Parents
oppose.

Some parents oppose vaccinating their children

because they believe vaccines contain harmful
additives.

Reasonable

The osc illoscope

he voltage
.
carefuldisplaye
whend tusing
active

Be
voice with inanimate
objects. Avoid the Dr. Frankenstein effect.
The osc illoscope
measu red t he voltage.

The osc illoscope

cal cu lated t he voltage.

V=

V
-

Use Topic

The beginning of a
sentence or paragraph
sets up the topic, so it is
referred to as the topic
position.
Readers use the topic
position, to get a sense
of where the sentence or
paragraph is going to
take them.
If you dont write a topic
sentence, readers will
get lost or confused.

Try reading this:

4
0

Notice how a topic sentence clear up any

confusion about what the paragraph is about.

4
3

Use Stress

Readers place greater

emphasis on information that
is at the end of a sentence,
paragraph, or chapter.
Its where they look to figure
out the point a writer is
making. This placement is
known as the stress position
or stress emphasis.
If the ending leaves readers
wondering what the
sentence or paragraph
means, its like never
arriving at a destination.

Look at the end of your sentences. Are the words

in the stress position saying what you want to
emphasize? If not trim the end.
Sociobiologists claim genes control our social
behavior in the way we act in situations we are
in every day.

Since social behavior means the way we act

in situations, the words at the end are
unnecessary and throw the emphasis off in
this sentence.

Metadiscourse often takes up the stress

position.
Job opportunities in computer programming are
getting scarcer, it must be remembered.

Metadiscourse draws attention to what is

being said, it often sounds preachy and
pompous. Get rid of it no matter where it
shows up in your writing.

Shift new information to the right.

Questions about the ethics of withdrawing
intravenous feeding are more difficult.
The more difficult phrase is referring to
something that was stated previously, so its
old information. Keep the new information to
the right, like this:
More difficult, are questions about the ethics
of withdrawing intravenous feeding.

Use Summative Modifiers

A summative modifier works by summing up whats

been said so far in a sentence, and it can help you
create the right emphasis. Notice how the bolded text
below does this:

Economic changes have reduced Russian

population growth to less than zero, a
demographic event that will have serious
implications.

Strings of prepositions make it hard for

readers to find the emphasis you intend.
The condition of the patient was documented
in the patient profile written by the nurse on
duty during the after-hours shift.
Eliminate strings of prepositions by being
direct.
The after-hours nurse documented the patients
condition in the patient profile.

I f you w ere the intended reader, would you know what the
writer wanted you to think ab out, understand, and/or do with this

My final advice is to become the reader.

What was I trying
to say ?

My writing is
clear. I am awes

re sp
ourt wr
i ng
li ke this, y ou
If y ou re spond to y our wri ti ng li ke thIfisy, ou
y our
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i ti d
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e fi tec
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