Sexuality Research & Social Policy

Journal of NSRC

http://nsrc.sfsu.edu

December 2009 Vol. 6, No. 4

From Sexism to Sexy: Challenging Young Adults

Ageism About Older Womens Sexuality
Katherine R. Allen, Karen A. Roberto
Abstract: This article reports on a study that explored young adults perceptions of sexual expression
among older women in the context of confronting ageism and sexism from a feminist perspective.
Deirdre Fishels educational film about aging and sexuality, Still Doing It: The Intimate Lives of Women
Over 65, was shown to 277 undergraduate students (82 male and 195 female) enrolled in a global issues human sexuality course. Data consisted of students narrative responses to 6 reflexive questions.
Using grounded theory methodology, the analysis revealed 4 key themes organized around the following topics: (a) how young adults perceive older womens sexuality, (b) perceptions about ageism
and sexism, (c) students comfort level with discussing aging womens sexuality, and (d) life lessons:
learning from older women. The authors discuss implications for education and practice.
Key words: aging women; educational film; college students; feminism; grounded theory

During the twenty-first century in the United States,

the over-age-65 segment of the population is growing at
unprecedented rates. In 2011, the first members of the
baby boom generation, born in 1946, will celebrate their
65th birthdays. By 2030, the U.S. population will include
71.5 million people ages 65 and older, more than twice
the number in 2000 (Federal Interagency Forum on
Aging-Related Statistics, 2004). Within the older population, people ages 85-plus represent the fastest-growing
age group. The number of individuals ages 85 and older
is expected to more than double from approximately 4.2
million in 2000 to 9.6 million in 2030 (Federal Interagency Forum on Aging-Related Statistics). As a result of
its enormous size and vast age diversity, the aging population is having a dramatic impact on the nations social
and political landscape.

Ageism, Sexuality, and Gender

Although no segment of the U.S. population shows
as much variation as the older population in functional,
psychological, and social abilities, the most pervasive

view of aging assumes continuous deterioration and

decline in all realms of life. Robert Butler (1969) coined
the term ageism to describe the prejudice that results
from the misconceptions and myths about old people
that depict them as senile, unattractive, asexual, sick,
and dependent. Such negative portrayals of aging are
problematic because they have significant implications
for others behaviors toward older adults, as well as for
older peoples sense of self.
Old age is plagued by widespread stereotypes, misconceptions, and jokes about daily life as a senior citizen.
One aspect of late life that is particularly misconstrued
is sexuality:
Sex is a universal and rewarding activity that can be
enjoyed throughout the life course. Its practices and
delights are romanticized and celebrated in songs,
theater, and art as something special for two people to doeveryone, that is, but two elderly adults.
Common stereotypes, held by both the young and
old, view sex and sexuality as the prerogative of
youth. (Levy, 1994, p. 287)

Address correspondence concerning this article to Katherine R. Allen, Department of Human Development, Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, 366 Wallace Hall (0416), Blacksburg, VA 24061. E-mail: kallen@vt.edu; Karen A.
Roberto, Center for Gerontology and Institute for Society, Culture & Environment, Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State
University, 237 Wallace Hall (0426), Blacksburg, VA 24061. E-mail: kroberto@vt.edu
Sexuality Research & Social Policy: Journal of NSRC, Vol. 6, Issue 4, pp. 1324, electronic ISSN 1553-6610. 2009 by the
National Sexuality Resource Center. All rights reserved. Please direct all requests for permissions to photocopy or reproduce
article content through the University of California Presss Rights and Permissions website, http://www.ucpressjournals.com/
reprintInfo.asp
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Negative attitudes and beliefs about older peoples

sexual experience stem from ageism in general. Sexuality, especially for women, tends to be equated with
youthful standards of attractiveness and vitality (Baber,
2000); thus, changing bodies and energy levels in late
life suggest to some that older individuals must be asexual, devoid of sexual feelings, and in need of pharmaceutical intervention (Marshall & Katz, 2006; Wood, Koch,
& Mansfield, 2006). Older people who speak about their
sexuality often are viewed either as exaggerating or as
deviantevidenced in the term dirty old manor are
called cute when they express physical affection for one
another (Hodson & Skeen, 1994). Misinformation about
age-related physiological changes and chronic disease
also contributes to the myths surrounding sexuality in
late life. The reality is that although there is a decline in
the frequency of sexual intercourse with advancing age,
sexual interest and activity continue throughout the life
course (DeLamater & Sill, 2005).

Young Adults Perceptions of

Aging and Sexuality
The internalizing of aging stereotypes begins in
childhood (Isaacs & Bearison, 1986) and is reinforced
over the life course through personal experiences, social norms, and societal attitudes. Adolescents and
young adults often hold the most stereotypic and negative beliefs about aging, perhaps as a result of strong
peer-group identification and generational separation
(Hagestad & Uhlenberg, 2005). Young adults use prejudice against older adults in order to persuade themselves that what has happened to older adults will not
happen to them (Packer & Chasteen, 2006; Snyder &
Miene, 1994).
Knowledge and attitudes about aging and sexuality
vary across age cohorts. For example, evidence (Hillman
& Stricker, 1996) suggests that traditional college-age
adults possess less knowledge about aging and sexuality
than middle-aged adults. Students attitudes toward sexuality in late life vary, with issues such as major area of
study, religious denomination, positive interactions with
grandparents, and beliefs about self influencing their
perceptions. When surveyed about their present and future sexual attitudes and behaviors, college students expressed optimism about continued sexual enjoyment in
late life, but their attitudes toward sexual activity in late
life were more restrictive and conservative then their
current views (Floyd & Weiss, 2001).
Also evident in the literature are gendered beliefs
about sexual expectations in late life. Kanes (2008)
recent study of undergraduates majoring in human

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services has revealed that most students believed that

older women and older men will have as much sex as
younger people if given the opportunity. However, when
asked to compare the sexual activities of older women
to the sexual activities of older men, the students were
more likely to believe that older men were more sexually active than older women. In addition, approximately
half of the students reported that it is socially acceptable
to see a very old man kiss a very young woman, whereas
only one fourth believed that it is socially acceptable to
see a very old woman kiss a very young man.

Theoretical Framework
One way to help youth develop more accurate perceptions about older people is through educational experiences that expose youth to the realities of aging and
challenge ageist stereotypes. Educational film is an effective medium for challenging the dominant cultures
portrayal of the intersections of powerful social locations, such as gender, race, class, sexual orientation, and
age. By using independently produced videos, educators can engage students in reflexive questioning of the
politics of representation about such issues as who has
the power to name and construct social identities (Boler & Allen, 2002). Hearing real people tell their stories
about controversial topics allows students to uncover the
complexities of how dominant cultural stereotypes are
constructed and challenges students stereotypes about
intersecting categoriesin this case, ageism and sexism. Educational film also enhances students agency by
offering them views of reality different from those that
dominate the visual, social, and cultural horizon (Boler
& Allen) and thus encouraging them to envision their
own possible selves in the future.
We approached this study from a feminist perspective, presuming that older womens experiences as
sexual beings have been excluded from that which is idealized in the popular, as well as the academic, imagination. The standards on which people are judgedWhite,
Western, educated, propertied, heterosexual, masculine,
young, able-bodiedexcludes women to one degree or
more (Code, 2006). Older womens lives, in particular,
have been rendered invisible because older women are
not, according to the dominant discourse, useful as sexual objects or reproductive partners. Feminist inquiry,
then, begins from the standpoint of womens lives so as
to write women back into the present, the observable,
and the conceptual (Smith, 1999).
Guided by a critical feminist theoretical framework,
we derived three overarching research questions for our
study:

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1. How do young adults describe sexual expression

among older women?
2. What do young adults discover about ageism and
sexism?
3. How do young adults view themselves in the discourse of aging sexuality?

Method
Educating Young Adults About Aging and
Sexuality: Classroom Settings
Specific lectures or units on aging and sexuality in
the college curriculum most commonly occur in gerontology, human services, and nursing courses. Students
in these disciplines often are more open to discussions
that focus on feelings, behaviors, and interpersonal relationships and may hold fewer negative attitudes toward
aging than the general population of college students
(Cottle & Glover, 2007; Kane, 2008; Luketich, 1991).
In contrast, students in general education classes, such
as university core classes open to all majors, likely will
hold more stereotypical and prejudicial attitudes toward
older adults.
Rather than working through the typical courses in
the fields in which gerontology students are likely to be
prepared for professions in aging (e.g., human services,
family studies), we informed students about sexuality
in late life by infusing aging issues into a general human sexuality class. This class covers a broad array of
interdisciplinary topics and global issues about human
sexuality over the life course. To augment lectures, students view films and participate in panels and written
assignments in which they further explore and analyze
the sometimes graphic and controversial content of the
course. As part of the universitys core curriculum (i.e.,
liberal arts requirements), the class is open to students
in every major across campus. The most common majors
for students enrolled in the class are business, biology,
engineering, psychology, communications, and university studies.

Sample and Data Collection

The first author showed Deirdre Fishels 54-minute
film about aging and sexuality, Still Doing It: The Intimate Lives of Women Over 65, to 82 male and 195 female undergraduate students enrolled in a global issues
human sexuality course, for which she is the instructor.
Students were not asked to identify demographic information beyond gender, but course statistics indicated
that the average age of the male students in the class was
20.4 years (SD = 1.46; range = 1824) and the average

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age of women in the sample was 19.8 years (SD = 1.07,

range = 1823). As a general education class, course
enrollment reflected general demographic patterns of
the university as a whole: Two thirds of the students enrolled at the university were from suburban areas and
one third from rural areas, primarily in the mid-Atlantic
region. Students self-identification of race and ethnicity
was as follows: 72% White, 7% Asian, 4% African American, 2% Hispanic, 2% international, less than 1% Native
American, and 12% unknown. Permission to conduct
this study was granted by the universitys institutional
review board.
The film documents the experiences of nine women,
ages 67 to 87, who are partnered, single, straight, lesbian, Black, and White. Confronting ageism and sexism,
these women embrace sexual desire as part of being fully
human. The video provides a candid portrayal of womens diverse sexual and intimate experiences, including a
few scenes of brief nudity and sexual encounters that are
handled with sensitivity. As Grabinski (2006) has stated,
The video is meant to inform, educate, and trigger discussion (p. 152), not titillate.
Prior to viewing the film, students had completed
course units on historical, biological, and psychological
issues associated with human sexuality in a global perspective. The film was part of the life course section of
the class that focused on adult sexual relationships. After reading the assigned chapter and viewing the film,
students were asked to participate in a written exercise
in which they responded to six questions specifically
designed to provoke their thinking and critical analysis
about the content of older womens sexuality: (a) What
new ideas about older women are generated from viewing the film? (b) What is sexy about older women? (c)
What is sexy about sex after 65? (d) What messages did
the women convey about their own bodies? (e) What can
younger people learn from older women about sexuality
and intimacy? (f) What have you learned about your own
comfort level in discussing issues of women, sexuality,
and aging in an open forum from viewing this film with
others? After students had recorded their responses,
the first author led the class in a discussion of the film
and the students collective reflections to each of the six
questions. In this way, the film and the reflective questions served the dual purpose of providing not only an
educational strategy but also a research opportunity.

Data Analysis
After students written responses were transcribed
into a Word file, the authors conducted a grounded
theory analysis of the 277 responses using the constant

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comparative method. Our purpose was to identify patterns and themes in order to make distinctions in the
data at each level of analysis (Charmaz, 2006). In
the first stage of open coding, we independently read the
data multiple times, paying attention to students use of
language and their meanings, as revealed in words, sentences, paragraphs, each of the six questions, and their
entire responses as a whole (Charmaz). In each of our
independent readings, we wrote analytic memos and detailed theoretical notes about the students perceptions
of older womens sexuality and intimacy, as well as how
they expressed ageism and sexism. We paid particular
attention to students expressions of their own ageism
and ways in which students reflected on what the older
women said, as opposed to how they merely parroted the
older womens own words.
After the independent coding, we coded the data
question by question, examining all of the male student
responses, then all of the female student responses, and
making comparisons by gender and across the six questions. We shared our respective coding schemes and
memos, developed coding schemes for each of the six
questions, and compared our schemes across questions.
We discussed discrepancies so that we could reach 100%
agreement in the coding process. This question-byquestion coding generated an expanded coding scheme
of many overlapping categories.
In the second phase of coding, the axial coding process, we conducted an in-depth analysis of the major
categories we had initiated for each of the six questions,
combining codes across questions to reduce overlap and
creating overarching categories with individual properties. Some concepts appeared in each question, such
as older womens assertiveness (boldness) about sex in
later life, as well as ageism. In the case of boldness, for
example, we developed the properties associated with
the circumstances under which boldness appears. One
aspect is the gendered nature of which group of students
(in this case, males) is more likely to use graphic language
in their attribution of a bold attitude to the older women.
Another is the use of more romanticized language among
female students (again, a gender difference).
As a result of axial coding, we streamlined the
coding further and arrived at a description of the data
with nine major coding categories: (a) sex matters, (b)
attitudes and knowledge, (c) life-course issues, (d) descriptions of older women, (e) sexual behaviors and relationships, (f) sex is better than when you are young, (g)
ageism, (h) comfort levels, (i) how students think about
aging (people). We continually compared notes throughout the axial coding phase and discussed each code until

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we arrived at a final coding scheme, further refining it

through reflective analysis, discussion, and constant
comparison (Charmaz, 2006).
In selective coding, the third phase of the grounded
theory process, we arrived at the main story line underlying the analysis. This story line represents the theoretical explanation of the data, which answers our research
questions. We found that young adults were, in most
cases, pleasantly surprised to find that older women are
still sexual, and boldly so. They recognized that older
women confront the intersecting realities of ageism and
sexism, yet few of the students expressed the reflexive
awareness to see ageism in themselves. Many became
more comfortable with older womens sexuality and revealed a variety of responses as a result of watching the
film. We organized the findings around this story line using this final coding scheme as our guide. We present the
quotations from students subsequently, using pseudonyms to identify them.

Results
How Young Adults Perceive Older
Womens Sexuality
Older women still feel sexual. The overwhelming response from both female (95%) and male (93%) students
was the acknowledgment that contrary to stereotypes
and, thus, expectationsolder women still feel sexual in
their later years. Gilberto stated: Older women still have
sex drives. Older women talk freely about their sexuality. Its never too late for sex. Furthermore, the young
adults in our study viewed older women who feel sexual
as full of life. As Brittni wrote: It seems like they have a
thirst for life rather than just being or getting older. Little things dont matter. Alana commented, Old women
have a refreshing view on the value of life.
Students linked older womens liveliness to wisdom
about love and sexuality. As Carly noted, Old women
are a source of wisdom, life, and experience. Almost
30% of the students used words of a spiritual nature, indicating that wise older women have soul and, as Marta
put it, are graceful. Susan stated:
Many of them are romantically wise and have had
many lovers. [They] have learned how to be more
responsible about their feelings, [which] means
having sex is more carefree, easy. They have had
more experience, they know what they are doing,
they are more comfortable with themselves. They
understand that life can get better as you age.
Older women have a bold attitude about sexuality. Students not only viewed older women as sexual but

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also 94% of the female students and 93% of the male

students perceived that the older women in the film had
a bold and empowered attitude about sex. Students saw
the older women as able to explicitly express their sexual
desires. As Jon indicated, They know what they like and
what they want and they tend to be less inhibited in telling you what that is. Teresa concurred: They arent going to sit back and not be sexual; if they want to have sex,
they will find a way and they are more open with their
bodies (dont regard stereotypes).
Some students also commented that they wanted
to have a bold attitude like the older women when they
aged:
A lot of them dont care what others/society thinks,
only what pleases them. I hope I can be that open
about sexuality as I age. Also, they can get over the
fact that a lot of people believe they should end sex
with menopause. (Renee)
Male students, in particular, used colorful language
to describe older womens honesty and brashness
(Barry), as in their dont give a shit attitude (Aaron),
and their stick it to the man attitude about their sexuality (Micah). They saw the women as overtly sexual:
Sex isnt just something that the older women can do or
want to do, but something that some older women still
need and crave (Ethan). Jacob bluntly stated: Old ladies want sex; Cher might not be so odd. In contrast,
female students were more circumspect. As Frieda put
it, The women are beginning to accept that they can still
be sexual beings. They seem to believe that they can do
what they want. They are realizing they can fall in love
again. Gina explained:
You become more sexual after menopause; its not
all over after menopause. Even traditional women
refuse to give up their sexuality. It is not just the
women born in the age of the sexual revolution.
Love is not over when you age, it can be just beginning. It is pathetic to live in a world where only the
young and beautiful can have sex. Too narrow in the
way we look at sex. They still masturbate. The important thing is being close, holding, touching, and
kissing.
Students were quite consistent in the words they
used to describe older women as sexual beings. In
response to the question What is sexy about older
women?, the most common term women used was
confident (39%), followed by open (37%), comfortable
(29%), self-respecting (22%), and experienced (21%).
Alice wrote, They are confident with their bodies and
dont seem to care about wrinkles, migration, etc. They
want to enjoy themselves. Kate, too, was impressed:

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They love themselves and their bodies. They are

more open about how much they love sex and
appreciate intimacy. How much life they have
in them, and how they cherish life to its fullest,
happy and glowing, always looking for the next
adventure.
Men used similar words as the women, though in a
different order; the most common word male students
used was experienced (32%), followed by open (22%),
confident (20%), and comfortable (16%). For example,
Alex commented: Theyve had plenty of time to figure
out what they want; theyre experienced. Randy further
explained, Some of them have the confidence to pursue men and they seem to know exactly what they want.
They seem to break away from how a woman should
act pertaining to sex and intimacy. Unlike the female
respondents (22%), who described the older women
with such words as self-respect, self-love, happy with
self, or self-acceptance, none of the males described the
older women using such terms.
Sexual expression is multidimensional. From viewing the film and listening to the womens stories, some
students (female, n = 46%; male, n = 36%) understood
that sexual expression in the later years involves much
more than the act of sexual intercourse, including
masturbation, foreplay, cuddling, emotional connection, and just plain fooling around. Activities included
sexual intercourse, as well as intimate communication,
kissing, touching, caressing, petting, and cuddling.
For example, Jon wrote, They view sex as more of a
talking/companionship/sex package, not just a stick it
in and grind. Ellen indicated, Sex can be just heavy
petting, or touching. Its not always about penetration.
Intimacy is very important and you are still a sexual being when you are older.
Students were intrigued about the talk of masturbation in the film and commented on older womens ease in
discussing solo sex as a form of sexual expression: They
love masturbation (Nina); Sex can get better, even
as you age. Self sex is very popular with older women
(Nancy). Male students in particular mentioned, often
with surprise, that older women loved to masturbate
(Andy).
Students observed that a key ingredient of sexual
expression after 65 is enjoyment. Students resonated
with the older women in the film who emphasized the
playful and relaxed aspects of sex after 65:
It is freer and the gender stereotypes are gone.
Partners seem to be more willing to explore and try
new things. Also, they dont seem to take it all for
granted; they enjoy every aspect. (Cindy)

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At that age, people start to be more themselves because they stop caring what other people think. So
the person rather than the image is sexy. (Bob)
Students reported that sex after 65 is also much
more about the connection between physical pleasure
and intimacy. Sex was frequently defined in relation to
love, as in Kyles comment that older women look for
lust and love. Neva wrote:
Sex after 65 is close and intimate. Experience with
sex makes the older aged couples connect and truly
become one entity. Its not about who gets off first
or how good the partners are. Its about becoming close and intimate. Sharing the two souls. Sex
shows that there is still life running through their
veins.
Its not easy being old: Obstacles to sexual expression. Despite the many positive observations about older
womens sexuality, about one fourth of both the women
(26%) and the men (23%) recognized the problems that
older women confront as they attempt to enact their desires for a full and satisfying sexual life. Marcus acknowledged: Sexual feelings dont go away after the death of
a loved one or as we age. Older women feel somewhat
invisible and think society wants young women, as the
women see in ads in magazines and on TV.
The students saw the disproportionate number
of older women versus older men as a key issue. Jesse
compared older women with older men, stating: There
are a lot of them in this world. The lack of available
partners ones own age was a related impediment to
women having a fulfilling sex life, as Joan indicated:
There is such a low number of older men and many
want younger women causing a problem for single
older women. Kelly wrote, A lot of older women
lose partners through divorce or being widowed, and
feel they will never have sex again. Usually, however,
they can find someone new. Male and female students
recognized that because women are more likely to be
widowed in old age, they are seen as having to pursue
men. As Rachel noted, this scenario may be a challenge:
When youre a lonely older woman, you might have to
be a pursuer for the first time.
Although most of the students commented on the
positive nature of the womens responses about coming to terms with aging bodies and accepting their own
physical changes, students insightfully recognized that
older women were challenged by their aging bodies. Ila
said, Its upsetting for them to see themselves getting
old. Bill noted, They acknowledged that they wanted
to look younger, but had to come to accept their age and
appearance.

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Perceptions About Ageism and Sexism

Recognition of societal prejudice. Students recognized the burden of ageism and sexism operating in older
womens lives. Wilma observed, Women over 65 feel
patronized for their age and judged for their sexuality.
Students acknowledged that, according to society, older
women are not supposed to feel or act in sexual ways;
those who are sexual violate societal norms. As Henry
stated, The reason older people are uneasy is because
our society is based around the young image of sexuality. These norms are reinforced daily through media
that promote the idea that for women, the only form of
beauty is a young, thin feminine body and that only the
young are (appropriately) sexual. Nola explained, They
take notice that in the media/television, older women are
not portrayed as sexy and it bothers them how the media
depicts them. Henry commented, They are comfortable with their own bodies and dont want to change it,
but feel that men wont see them as sexual beings due to
the medias image of young sexuality.
Students applauded the women in the film for acknowledging the difficulty of coping with ageism and
sexism, as well as living through the difficulty by confronting societal prejudice without letting it debilitate
them. Ethan observed, Even though they have aged and
dont meet the medias image of beauty, they are still
proud of their bodies.
Unpacking student prejudice. With only two exceptions, however, students were not cognizant of how
their own talk about age and older women could be interpreted as containing hidden elements of ageism and
sexismlike giving a backhanded complimentas in
Tanyas idea that one is not less human if one is old: Age
doesnt make you less human and even knowing that you
are old and not in the ideal physicality doesnt mean you
dont deserve love or sex. Even students expression of
surprise that older women were still sexual could be interpreted as having some negative overtones. As April
put it, Older women are a lot more sexual than I had
ever imagined. Although students were impressed with
the older women in the film expressing a desire for sex
in their later years, their positive response was tempered
by their frequent use of the word still: They still feel
very sexy and sexual (Darla); They still have sex drives
and are looking for partners (Evie); They are still wanting to have sex at that age and are still physically able to
have sex (Dina).
Of the 277 students, only 2 (1 male and 1 female)
explicitly acknowledged their own prejudice about older
people. For example, in discussing what he thought was

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sexy about sex after 65, LeRoy stated, The fact that a lot
of people have sex after 65 is sexy. However, I think Ill
pass on watching people of that age have sex.
In answer to the question What can younger people
learn from older people about sexuality and intimacy?,
nearly one third (32%) of the female responses suggested some underlying ageism, with images of older
adult sex as gross or not sexy, even as they affirmed
positive aspects of aging and sexuality. Donna stated,
Sex between older people is not nasty or gross. It is a
beautiful thing when two people can still connect, especially at that older age. Joan wrote, That sex and
thoughts about sex shouldnt be limited to younger
good-looking women. Toni commented, It is not about
physical appearance, and being young and beautiful.
Older people have a better outlook on sex than younger
people who are out looking for that hot guy or girl.
Thus, the subtext of participants responses suggests
that although students recognized and critiqued prevailing ageist and sexist images, they continued to
evoke negative stereotypes when speaking about latelife sexuality.

Students Comfort Level With Discussing

Aging Womens Sexuality
Students were asked to reflect on what they had
learned about their own comfort level in discussing issues of women, sexuality, and aging in the presence of
others. Four substantive responses were found, with
most of the students expressing at least some comfort
with being able to talk about the issue. Taken together,
these reflections helped illuminate how students construct their own ideas of aging womens sexuality in the
midst of societal prejudice.
Comfortable. A total of 30% of the females and 30%
of the males said they were comfortable talking about
aging womens sexuality in the presence of their peers.
In fact, students wanted more information and more opportunities for discussion:
Im very comfortable talking about all these issues
and I wish we could all talk more (have more time).
I feel confident anyway, but this film reassured me
of my confidence, and how it really doesnt matter
what other people think of you, because that just
means youre probably having more fun than they
are. If sharing helps other people and opens peoples minds and gives them new ideas, then share.
(Brittni)
Tanya was among those students who perceived that in
comparison with her classmates, she was more comfortable discussing aging womens sexuality:

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I found the video very interesting. The open honesty

and passion of these women is inspiring. It shows
that it will be different when Im older but that hope
and possibility are still there. And the snorts and
giggles of my classmates were a distraction to me
while they tried to find comfort in watching it. They,
however, seemed to be just acting like run-of-themill assholes that had decided from the beginning
that this was stupid and gross and refused to even
open to the possibility that this not only could be
educational, but that could be them someday.
More comfortable than anticipated. Another group
of students (31% of females, 27% of males) said they
were more comfortable than they thought they would be
after viewing the film:
I thought this video would make me feel uncomfortable, but instead it actually made me feel relieved.
Im glad to know that women as old as 87 are still
having sex. It gives me hope. (Clare)
I am a little uncomfortable talking about it but the
longer I watched it, the more comfortable I became. So I am fairly comfortable. It was not that
hard to watch and was interesting. Easier to see
people as sexual when you see them for what they
are. (Rita)
Mixed: Still some discomfort. In all, 30% of the
women and 28% of the men said they still had some discomfort (e.g., they were not uncomfortable, or it was a
difficult topic) about viewing or discussing the film. As
Cherie stated, I didnt mind watching this with other
people, but I really dont want to get old. Geri explained:
Im not uncomfortable with knowing about it, but
its still a difficult topic because it seems like its not
something to worry about for a long time. Its difficult enough to cope with my sexuality now; its
hard to think that it never gets easier, although I
am looking forward to being an older woman and be
able to stop caring what society thinks.
According to 22% of the female students and 25% of
the male students in this group, one of the main reasons
for mixed emotions was due to thinking about or comparing their parents or grandparents with the women in
the video:
Its not that I am not comfortable watching this
video in the company of others, but it doesnt exactly make me comfortable that my grandmother is
about the age of some of these women. I just dont
want to think of my grandmother in a context like
that. (Justin)

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Ive learned that Im not 100% comfortable with

older womens sexuality. I think part of it is that my
own mother is approaching the age of the women
in the film, and Im not at all comfortable with the
idea of her having those thoughts/feelings/experiences. (Linda)
Not comfortable. The smallest group of students
(7% of the women and 11% of the men) said they were
not comfortable with viewing or discussing the film,
mainly due to graphic images of older womens sexuality or scenarios that departed from normative ideals of
heterosexuality:
Im very conservative, so watching it made me quite
uncomfortable. Mainly the parts with the nudity, I
would just look away. I guess I should just see it and
watch, though, because that will be me someday.
And I admit seeing the lesbian couple was a shock,
since Im not used to seeing lesbian couples that
age. (Oona)
Students commented on their own distaste of bodies
that did not conform to ideal standards of thinness and
beauty: I am not comfortable seeing old wrinkly naked
bodies. Im also not comfortable seeing fat naked bodies,
regardless of age. I am not comfortable with the old in
general (Lauren).
Male students, in particular, admitted that their
discomfort came from their own lack of awareness and
even ignorance. As Gilberto stated: Im not very comfortable with the elderlys sexuality because Im uninformed and ignorant to the issue. For the most part,
though, they held society responsible for these attitudes.
Ray wrote, I am reluctant to discuss it, mainly because
society today has made it this way, so it is hard to break
out of our shell.

Life Lessons: Learning From Older Women

Walking in their shoes. On balance, the students
responses revealed that they were affected by the older
womens stories in mostly positive ways. They may have
entered the class the day of the film with one-dimensional images of aging women but, upon reflection, came
to appreciate a greater sense of diversity:
Women are different, as can be seen in the movie.
Some women feel that talking openly about sex is
healthy, whereas others feel that it should not be
mentioned at all. Some women enjoy the more
romantic and sensual feelings in the bedroom,
whereas others like to have hardcore, wild sexual
experiences. Some older women are viewed as leaders, whereas others are viewed as hindrances to society. And just about all women are fairly sensitive

December 2009

about their bodies because of the images placed

upon them by the media. (Xavier)
Students also became more sensitized to life-course
diversity. Listening to the womens stories about finding
true love at 80, or becoming a lesbian at 35, or losing a life
partner at 65 helped students put their own life-course issues in context. Bill wrote, I was interested in the fact
that most of the women said they enjoy their daily life
and the little things in their life more as they age. Also,
they say their life started at 40 or so. Meredith stated:
I loved this film.I found it to be inspiring and
promising. I love the idea that these women are still
sexually open and active. Frances saying that she
found the love of her life at age 80 was the best moment of the film.
Intimacy matters: Sex is more than an act. As noted
previously, part of the wisdom that comes from aging is
learning that intimacy and sexuality go together. Young
women, in particular, tuned in to the message that intimate relationships are key to sexuality and aging:
I had never thought before about how important
the need for an intimate relationship is. Many of
the women in the film are widows and they long for
companionship. I also learned that true love is not
defined by age, and can be found at any age or with
anyone. (Zarah)
I feel like these people in the video are more open
about intimacy than people our age. Sure, we have
sex, but we are nowhere near as intimate. It seems
like they value the fact that they can have sex
more/still. (Jill)
Students interpreted older womens desire for
sexual expression and intimate connection in their later
years as independent of age. As Janie put it: Age doesnt
need to be the deciding factor for a persons sexuality.
Sully concurred:
If the world would accept the appearance of and desires of older women, they would be able to freely
express themselves as sexual beings. The desire to
be intimate does not fade with age. It is sustained
well into the senior years of life.
Gender differences in student responses. Although
students responses showed many similarities, we observed a few differences that reflect traditional responsibilities and expectations of men and women. For
example, females elaborated on pregnancy issues more
than their male counterparts, perhaps reflecting their
own concerns related to being sexually active. Although
far from menopause, the young women appreciated the
older womens relief from the fear of an unwanted or

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unanticipated pregnancy. As Lucy noted, The fear of

getting pregnant goes away, so it feels so much more
fun and comfortable. Less about performance and more
about fun, connections, and closeness.
In comparison, only males used graphic language,
such as repeating the discussion in the film about women
having stronger and longer orgasms. Compared with
female students, males used more slang, as in It isnt
just about getting off and falling asleep (Steve). None
of the females mentioned that there were women who
just wanted sex, even without intimacyyet some of the
males picked up on this detail: It is more about the relationship than just sex, or for some it is just about sex and
nothing more (Justin).
In contrast with males focusing more on the sex
acts (e.g., masturbating, having orgasms)for example, Matts response that sex after 65 is stronger and
longerfemales provided more romanticized responses
that focused on intimate relationships, a difference reflecting gender stereotypes: It is natural, wanted, and
a beautiful thing (Letitia); Feeling of need, want, love.
Companionship is important. Not just an act of sex, but
other acts as well (Inez).
The old are us: Generational comparisons. The
film ends on the note that the old are us, and many
students resonated with this conclusion. Inherent in
their surprise that older women were still sexual was
their tendency to use their own generation as a comparative standard. With the exception of students who
compared the women in the film with their parents and
grandparents, most young adults compared the women
in the film with their own generation. In contrast to the
discomfort and inhibitions they themselves face in their
own sexual relationships, students noted that the older
women in the film said that sex after 65 can be fun. As
she described some of the new ideas about older women
she learned from viewing the film, Olivia wrote that
compared with young people, older women:
Feel free, inventive, and have fun with sex. They
dont concentrate on showing off for their partner,
they concentrate on simply enjoying the experience.
The importance of being close, touching, smelling
each other is just as important, if not more important than it is when you are younger.
Students also acknowledged the advantages of being an older woman, compared with being a younger
woman, when it came to sex:
Older women have experience and know themselves
well sexually.They feel freer, more comfortable,
and more adventurous, whereas young people are
insecure and trying to impress others. (Ramona)

December 2009

When they finally became accepting of their age

and aging bodies is when they finally found great
sex lives and became more comfortable with their
sexuality than younger women. (Marcy)
They have tremendous confidence. They embrace
who they are, they know who they are. They care
more about their own opinions than other peoples.
They seem to be able to distinguish between unhealthy and healthy behavior better than younger
women. (Hannah)
The general observation, then, was that young
adults found that the older women used the same
language as younger people when talking about relationships (Terence) and were just like the rest of us
(April) when it came to having sex. Jill stated, Age
doesnt matter; they answer ads and meet people online like young people do. Nicole noted, Older women
think about it just as much as younger women. Curtis
went further by comparing across both gender and generation: Females in their 60s are about as sexual as
men in their 20s.
Thus, students concluded, older women fall in love,
have hot sex, find young partners, date online, act on
their attractions to members of the same genderjust
like young women and young men do. This outcome of
viewing an educational film and learning about older
womens sexual desire and expression was meaningful
in exposing ageism and sexism inherent in society and in
students minds. The film provided a common ground on
which course concepts were brought to life through the
process of reflecting on and challenging students ideas
in the company of their peers.

Discussion and Implications

In this study, college students responded to an educational video about older womens sexuality. A majority
of students reported that their own stereotypic perceptions of older women as asexual or unattractive were
challenged and, in some cases, changed. As was evident
from students written responses, providing them with
the opportunity to reflect on their previous assumptions and to integrate new knowledge fostered deeper
understandings regarding the variety of sexual desires,
expressions, and practices of older women. Through
their critical reflection about an educational film in the
classroom, students demonstrated their awareness of
the harmful nature of ageist and sexist stereotypes to the
young and old alike. This pedagogical strategy allowed
them to expand their perceptions about what is normal
and possible for individuals of all ages.

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Sex Matters to Older Women

Implications for Practice

As evidenced by their responses, students realized

the importance of sexual expression for the women in
the film. The womens candid discussion of their experiences, desires, and challenges enhanced students understanding of womens personal freedoms and fears in
the later stages of life and heightened students awareness of the stigma associated with aging (Butler, 1969;
Calasanti & Slevin, 2001). They came to understand that
sexual desire remained and in some cases increased for
the older women whose stories they heard. Furthermore,
they learned that sex was more than the heteronormative
ideal of penile-vaginal intercourse. If nothing else, the
older women in the film dispelled the myth that sexual
expression must involve male-to-female penetration. Instead, students realized that sexual diversity is far more
evident than they ever could have imagined.
The older womens expression of sexuality, as well
as intimacy, brought home messages that only life experience can teach about what really matters in relationships. Bodies wrinkle and partners die, but desire
remains and ingenuity increases. Students recognition
that the lack of partners was the major challenge for
older women was important for breaking down ageist
and sexist stereotypes. Such insight, gained from viewing and discussing obstacles faced by older women,
helps young adults eliminate unfounded assumptions
about sexuality based on measures of chronological age
and physical appearance, as well as recognize the role
that demographics play in structuring the possibilities
for human interactions (Lindau et al., 2007).
Students recognized that the women in the film were
struggling with ageism and sexism. The fact that many students saw in the women a bold and empowered attitude
suggests their own projection of agency (i.e., the ability to
act in ones own interest or in accordance with ones own
desires). In addition, the students understood, perhaps
from becoming more aware of aging due to viewing the
film, that they, too, will be old one day: They will get wrinkles and have an even more difficult time conforming to societal standards of beauty and sexual attractiveness when
they are old than they perceive they already do as young
adults. They saw in these older women efforts to confront
not only the stereotypes associated with aging but also the
ways their bodies are both failing them and still enabling
them to enjoy the fruits of life (Baber, 2000; DeLamater
& Sill, 2005). The majority of students identified with the
idea of facing down old age with a bold attitudesticking
it to the man (the stereotypic male version) or finding true
love at 80 (the stereotypic female version).

Implications of this study include the power of

learning from mature women as they share their stories
of sexual agency and the value of confronting issues of
sexuality that young people imagine as uniquely their
own. In their emerging adulthood, college students may
still be egocentric about beliefs and experiences that are
actually not limited to the young (Arnett, 2006). Emerging adulthood is a time of identity instability when youth
are developing an understanding of their sexual selves
(Lefkowitz & Gillen, 2006). Encouraging self-awareness
about sexuality as a life-course issue helps young adults
face their own identity issues and prepares them to sensitively confront and change personal stereotypes of
aging. The operation of this process was evident as the
young women, in particular, with bittersweet acknowledgment, came to understand that, in 50 years, they
would be just like the older women in the film.
As Boler and Allen (2002) have found, educational
film is particularly effective for challenging students
prejudicial attitudes. The use of educational film in a
college classroom with females and males from diverse
academic majors provided a safe environment for students to confront ageist and sexist attitudes with their
peers. This teaching strategy is an example of engaged
pedagogy (hooks, 1994), in which students are asked to
carefully reflect on the knowledge they are learning and
discovering. Engaged pedagogy links reflection on the
world with action in order to induce change. The pursuit of social change in education is captured in Freires
(1970/1997) concept of conscientization: learning to
perceive social, political, and economic contradictions,
and to take action against the oppressive elements of reality (p. 17). Answering questions designed to pair academic and personal knowledge led most students, after
viewing, discussing, and writing about the film, to become more comfortable with the issue of older womens
sexualityand, as many students stated, with their own
sexuality as well.
As the film teaches, the old are us. Higher education,
with its mission to transmit and transform knowledge
and understanding, is uniquely positioned to prepare
young people for living, working, and caring in an aging society (Bass & Ferraro, 2000). Infusing lifespan
issues in a wide variety of subject matters though general university undergraduate curriculum requirements
provides opportunities for students to think beyond age
boundaries and achieve greater intellectual integration
and practical consideration of contemporary issues. Dispelling stereotypes and adding accurate information to

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young adults knowledge of aging ultimately can enhance

personal and family lives, facilitate positive interactions
across generations, and promote a more understanding
and tolerant society.

Limitations
Findings from this study contribute to knowledge
about the ways in which young men and women can view
sexuality as a passionate and lively part of life well into
the later years. The research, however, is not without its
limitations. First, the study sample was limited to college students, who may not be representative of all young
adults. In addition, because the university the students
attended has a predominately White population, the
sample lacks racial and ethnic diversity. Because little is
known about the view of aging and sexuality held by the
general population of young adults, including those from
various racial and ethnic groups, we encourage the use of
more diverse samples in future research of this nature.
Second, the older women in the film were more positive about their sexuality than perhaps some women are
in general. Several of the women in the film described
the influence of the womens liberation movement from
the 1960s and 1970s on their sexual attitudes and behaviors. The fact that some older women were comfortable
enough in their own skins, as many of the students indicated, to discuss personal and political issues of sexuality and intimacy and, in some cases, portray themselves
as physically intimate reveals a self-confidence that may
be atypical of the general population. Indeed, many of
the students recognized that the women in the video
had more courage than they themselves would have, at
any age. The meaning, then, of the films title, Still Doing It, had implications for the students beyond sex and
intimacy. The older women in the film were still doing
lifeboldly soand, in that sense, they were showing
the young how to do it, too.

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