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S E L F - C O M PA S SI O N

&
S E L F - LOV E

Self
-compassi
on and
Self-love

This article defines the construct of self-compassion and describes


the development of the Self-Compassion Scale. Self-compassion
entails being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of
pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical; perceiving
one's experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than
seeing them as isolating; and holding painful thoughts and feelings
in mindful awareness rather than over-identifying with them.
Evidence for the validity and reliability of the scale is presented in a
series of studies. Results indicate that self-compassion is
significantly correlated with positive mental health outcomes such
as less depression and anxiety and greater life satisfaction. Evidence
is also provided for the discriminant validity of the scale, including
with regard to selfesteem...

Index

Self -compassion and Self-love

SELF-COMPASSION IS EXTENDING
COMPASSION TO ONE'S SELF IN
INSTANCES OF PERCEIVED
INADEQUACY, FAILURE, OR GENERAL
SUFFERING. NEFF HAS DEFINED SELF1
Self-compassion and Self-love

Self -compassion and Self-love

COMPASSION AS BEING COMPOSED OF


THREE MAIN COMPONENTS - SELFKINDNESS, COMMON HUMANITY, AND
MINDFULNESS.

THE DEVELOPMENT AND


VALIDATION OF A SCALE TO
MEASURE SELF-COMPASSION

Kristin d. Neff
University of Texas at Austin,
Austin,Texas,USA

This article defines the construct of selfcompassion and describes the development of
the Self-Compassion Scale. Self-compassion
entails being kind and understanding toward
oneself in instances of pain or failure rather
than being harshly self-critical; perceiving
one's experiences as part of the larger human
experience rather than seeing them as
isolating; and holding painful thoughts and
feelings in mindful awareness rather than
over-identifying with them. Evidence for the
validity and reliability of the scale is presented
in a series of studies. Results indicate that selfcompassion is significantly correlated with
positive mental health outcomes such as less
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depression and anxiety and greater life


satisfaction. Evidence is also provided for the
discriminant validity of the scale, including
with regard to self-esteem measures.

Recent years have seen an increasing dialogue


between Eastern Philosophical thoughtBuddhism in particular-and Western
Psychology (Epstein, 1995; Molino, 1998;
Rubin, 1996; Watson, Bachelor, & Claxton,
1999), leading to new ways of understanding
and engendering mental well being
(e.g.,Kabat-Zinns mindfulness based stressreduction programs; Kabat Zinn ChapmanWarldrop,1988; Kabat Zinn, Massion,
Kristeller, & Peterson, 1992). Becouse
Buddhist psychology is largely focused on
analysing and understanding the nature of the
self, many of its ideas have proved especially
useful for researchers interested in self
processes (e.g., Gallagher & Shear, 1999).
One important Buddhist concept that is little
known in Western psychological circles ,
butthat is relevant to those interested in selfconcepts and self-attitudes , is the construct of
SELF-COMPASSION (Bannett-Goleman,
2001; Brown, 1999; Hahn, 1997; Kornfield,
1993; Salzberg, 1997). Previous work by the
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author (Neff, 2003) has attempted to define


self -compassion and consider its relationship
to other aspects of psychological functioning.
Self-kindness: Self-compassion entails being warm
towards oneself when encountering pain and
personal suffering compassion requires taking a
balanced approach to one's negative emotions so
that feelings are neither suppressed nor
exaggerated. Negative thoughts and emotions are
observed with openness, so that they are held in
mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a nonjudgmental, receptive mind state in which
individuals observe their thoughts and feelings as
they are, without trying to suppress or deny them.
Conversely, mindfulness requires that one not be
shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting
oneself with self-criticism.

The benefits of being present:


mindfulness and its role in psychological
well-being.

o Mindfulness is an attribute of consciousness long


believed to promote well-being. This research
provides a theoretical and empirical examination of
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the role of mindfulness in psychological wellbeing. The development and psychometric


properties of the dispositional Mindful Attention
Awareness Scale (MAAS) are described.
Correlational, quasi-experimental, and laboratory
studies then show that the MAAS measures a
unique quality of consciousness that is related to a
variety of well-being constructs, that differentiates
mindfulness practitioners from others, and that is
associated with enhanced self-awareness. An
experience-sampling study shows that both
dispositional and state mindfulness predict selfregulated behaviour and positive emotional states.
Finally, a clinical intervention study with cancer
patients demonstrates that increases in mindfulness
over time relate to declines in mood disturbance
and stress.

Common humanity: Self-compassion also involves


recognizing that and personal failure is part of the
shared human experience.
Mindfulness: Self- "over-identified" with mental or
emotional phenomena, so that one suffers aversive
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reactions. This latter type of response involves


narrowly focusing and ruminating on one's negative
emotions.
Responses to depression and their
effects on the duration of depressive
episodes.
o I propose that the ways people respond to their
own symptoms of depression influence the
duration of these symptoms. Peoples who engage
in ruminative responses to depression, focusing on
their symptoms and the possible causes and
consequences of their symptoms, will show longer
depressions than people who take action to distract
themselves from their symptoms. Ruminative
responses prolong depression because they allow
the depressed mood to negatively bias thinking and
interfere with instrumental behaviour and problemsolving. Laboratory and field studies directly
testing this theory have supported its predictions. I
discuss how response styles can explain the greater
likelihood of depression in women than men. Then
I intergrate this response styles theory with studies
of coping with discrete events. The response styles
theory is compared to other theories of the duration
of depression. Finally, I suggest what may help a
depressed person to stop engaging in ruminative
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responses and how response styles for depression


may develop.

Much of the research conducted on selfcompassion so far has used the Self-Compassion
Scale,[1] which measures the degree to which
individuals display self-kindness against selfjudgment, common humanity versus isolation, and
mindfulness versus over-identification. Research
indicates that self-compassionate individuals
experience greater psychological health than those
who lack self-compassion. For example, selfcompassion is positively associated with lifesatisfaction, wisdom, happiness, optimism,
curiosity, learning goals, social connectedness,
personal responsibility, and emotional resilience.
At the same time, it is negatively associated with
self-criticism, depression, anxiety, rumination,
thought suppression, perfectionism, and disordered
eating attitudes

Self-compassion and reactions to


unpleasant self-relevant events: the
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implications of treating oneself


kindly

Five studies investigated the cognitive and


emotional processes by which self-compassionate
people deal with unpleasant life events. In the
various studies, participants reported on negative
events in their daily lives, responded to
hypothetical scenarios, reacted to interpersonal
feedback, rated their or others' videotaped
performances in an awkward situation, and
reflected on negative personal experiences. Results
from Study 1 showed that self-compassion
predicted emotional and cognitive reactions to
negative events in everyday life, and Study 2 found
that self-compassion buffered people against
negative self-feelings when imagining distressing
social events. In Study 3, self-compassion
moderated negative emotions after receiving
ambivalent feedback, particularly for participants
who were low in self-esteem. Study 4 found that
low-self-compassionate people undervalued their
videotaped performances relative to observers.
Study 5 experimentally induced a selfcompassionate perspective and found that selfcompassion leads people to acknowledge their role
in negative events without feeling overwhelmed
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with negative emotions. In general, these studies


suggest that self-compassion attenuates people's
reactions to negative events in ways that are
distinct from and, in some cases, more beneficial
than self-esteem.
Self-compassion, Achievement Goals, and
Coping with Academic Failure

Kristin D. Neff
Ya-Ping Hsieh
Kullaya Dejitterat
University of Texas at Austin,
Austin,Texas,USA
Two studies examined the relationship between
self-compassion, academic achievement goals,
and coping with perceived academic failure,
among undergraduates. Self-compassion
entails being kind to oneself in instances of
failure, perceiving ones experiences as part of
the larger human experience, and holding
painful feelings in mindful awareness. Study 1
(N =222) found that self-compassion was
positively associated with mastery goals and
negatively associated with performance goals,
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a relationship that was mediated by the lesser


fear of failure and greater perceived
competence of self-compassionate individuals.
Study 2 confirmed these findings among
students who perceived their recent midterm
grade as a failure ( N = 110), with results also
indicating that self-compassion was positively
associated with emotion-focused coping
strategies and negatively associated with
avoidance-orianted strategies.

Many have criticized self-esteem programs in


the schools as a primary way of encouraging
positive self-attitudes among students, arguing
that an over-emphasis on evaluating and liking
the self may unwittingly lead youths to
develop narcissistic attitudes or distorted selfconcepts ( Damon, 1995; Finn, 1990; Hewitt,
1998; McMillan, Singh, & Simonetta, 1994;
Seligman, 1995;). Self-compassion, a
construct derived from Buddhist psychology,
has recently been proposed as an alternative
way to conceptualize healthy self-attitudes
(Neff, 2003b). Research indicates that selfcompassion offers similar psychological heath
benefits to self-esteem, but that it has fewer of
its drawbacks (Neff,2003a). Although these
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findings are promising, research on selfcompassion is still in its early stages and the
relation between self-compassion and other
important psychological processes needs to be
investigated further. There are several
theoretical reasons to believe that feelings of
compassion towards the self (or the lack
thereof) may impact the learning process, and
this article presents two studies that attempt to
explore this relationship-specifically, the link
between self-compassion ,academic
achievement goals, and coping with academic
failure.

Two studies are presented to examine the


relation of self-compassion to psychological
health. Self-compassion entails being kind and
understanding toward oneself in instances of
pain or failure rather than being harshly selfcritical; perceiving ones experiences as part of
the larger human experience rather than seeing
them as isolating; and holding painful
thoughts and feelings in mindful awareness
rather than over-identifying with them. Study
1 found that self-compassion (unlike selfesteem) helps buffer against anxiety when
faced with an ego-threat in a laboratory
setting. Self-compassion was also linked to
connected versus separate language use when
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writing about weaknesses. Study 2 found that


increases in self-compassion occurring over a
one-month interval were associated with
increased psychological well-being, and that
therapist ratings of self-compassion were
significantly correlated with self-reports of
self-compassion. Self-compassion is a
potentially important, measurable quality that
offers a conceptual alternative to Western,
more egocentric concepts of self-related
processes and feelings.

This study examined the relation of selfcompassion to positive psychological health


and the five factor model of personality. Selfcompassion entails being kind toward oneself
in instances of pain or failure; perceiving
ones experiences as part of the larger human
experience; and holding painful thoughts and
feelings in balanced awareness. Participants
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were 177 undergraduates (68% female, 32%


male). Using a correlational design, the study
found that self-compassion had a significant
positive association with self-reported
measures of happiness, optimism, positive
affect, wisdom, personal initiative, curiosity
and exploration, agreeableness, extroversion,
and conscientiousness. It also had a
significant negative association with negative
affect and neuroticism. Self-compassion
predicted significant variance in positive
psychological health beyond that attributable
to personality.

Although psychologists extolled the benefits of


self-esteem for many years, recent research has
exposed costs associated with the pursuit of high
self-esteem, including narcissism, distorted selfperceptions, contingent and/or unstable self-worth,
as well as anger and violence toward those who
threaten the ego.

The costly pursuit of self-esteem.


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Researchers have recently questioned the benefits


associated with having high self-esteem. The
authors propose that the importance of self-esteem
lies more in how people strive for it rather than
whether it is high or low. They argue that in
domains in which their self-worth is invested,
people adopt the goal to validate their abilities and
qualities, and hence their self-worth. When people
have self-validation goals, they react to threats in
these domains in ways that undermine learning;
relatedness; autonomy and self-regulation; and over
time, mental and physical health. The short-term
emotional benefits of pursuing self-esteem are
often outweighed by long-term costs. Previous
research on self-esteem is reinterpreted in terms of
self-esteem striving. Cultural roots of the pursuit of
self-esteem are considered. Finally, the alternatives
to pursuing self-esteem, and ways of avoiding its
costs, are discussed.

It has been widely asserted that low self-esteem


causes violence, but laboratory evidence is lacking,
and some contrary observations have characterized
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aggressors as having favourable self-opinions. In 2


studies, both simple self-esteem and narcissism
were measured, and then individual participants
were given an opportunity to aggress against
someone who had insulted them or praised them or
against an innocent third person. Self-esteem
proved irrelevant to aggression. The combination
of narcissism and insult led to exceptionally high
levels of aggression toward the source of the insult.
Neither form of self-regard affected displaced
aggression, which was low in general. These
findings contradict the popular view that low selfesteem causes aggression and point instead toward
threatened egotism as an important cause.

The 3 major self-evaluation motives were


compared: self-assessment (people pursue accurate
self-knowledge), self-enhancement (people pursue
favourable self-knowledge), and self-verification
(people pursue highly certain self-knowledge).
Considered the possession of personality traits that
were either positive or negative and either central
or peripheral by asking themselves questions that
varied in diagnosticity (the extent to which the
questions could discriminate between a trait and its
alternative) and in confirmation value (the extent to
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which the questions confirmed possession of a


trait). Selected higher diagnosticity questions when
evaluating themselves on central positive rather
than central negative traits and confirmed
possession of their central positive rather than
central negative traits. The self-enhancement
motive emerged as the most powerful determinant
of the self-evaluation process, followed by the selfverification motive.

Contingencies of self-worth.

Research on self-esteem has focused almost


exclusively on level of trait self-esteem to the
neglect of other potentially more important aspects
such as the contingencies on which self-esteem is
based. Over a century ago, W. James (1890) argued
that self-esteem rises and falls around its typical
level in response to successes and failures in
domains on which one has staked self-worth. We
present a model of global self-esteem that builds on
James' insights and emphasizes contingencies of
self-worth. This model can help to (a) point the
way to understanding how self-esteem is
implicated in affect, cognition, and self-regulation
of behaviour; (b) suggest how and when selfesteem is implicated in social problems; (c) resolve
debates about the nature and functioning of self16
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esteem; (d) resolve paradoxes in related literatures,


such as why people who are stigmatized do not
necessarily have low self-esteem and why selfesteem does not decline with age; and (e) suggest
how self-esteem is causally related to depression.
In addition, this perspective raises questions about
how contingencies of self-worth are acquired and
how they change, whether they are primarily a
resource or a vulnerability, and whether some
people have noncontingent self-esteem.
Relation of threatened egotism to
violence and aggression: the dark
side of high self-esteem.

Conventional wisdom has regarded low selfesteem as an important cause of violence, but
the opposite view is theoretically viable. An
interdisciplinary review of evidence about
aggression, crime, and violence contradicted
the view that low self-esteem is an important
cause. Instead, violence appears to be most
commonly a result of threatened egotism-that is, highly favourable views of self that
are disputed by some person or
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circumstance. Inflated, unstable, or tentative


beliefs in the self's superiority may be most
prone to encountering threats and hence to
causing violence. The mediating process may
involve directing anger outward as a way of
avoiding a downward revision of the selfconcept.
It appears that self-compassion offers the same
mental health benefits as self-esteem, but with
fewer of its drawbacks such as narcissism, egodefensive anger, inaccurate self-perceptions, selfworth contingency, or social comparison.

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Compassion personified: a statue at the Epcot center in


Florida

Compassion is the feeling of empathy for others.


Compassion is the emotion that we feel in response to the
suffering of others that motivates a desire to help.

Compassion is often regarded as having an


emotional aspect to it, though when based on
cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and
interdependence, it may be considered rational in
nature and its application understood as an activity
based on sound judgment. There is also an aspect
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of compassion which regards a quantitative


dimension, such that individual's compassion is
often given a property of "depth," "vigour," or
"passion." The etymology of "compassion" is
Latin, meaning "co-suffering." More involved than
simple empathy, compassion commonly gives rise
to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering.
Compassion is often, though not inevitably, the key
component in what manifests in the social context
as altruism.[citation needed] In ethical terms, the
expressions down the ages of the so-called Golden
Rule often embodies by implication the principle of
compassion: Do to others what you would have
them do to you. [original research?]
The English noun compassion, meaning to suffer
together with, comes from Latin. Its prefix comcomes directly from com, an archaic version of the
Latin preposition and affix cum (= with); the
-passion segment is derived from passus, past
participle of the deponent verb patior, pat, passus
sum. Compassion is thus related in origin, form and
meaning to the English noun patient (= one who
suffers), from patiens, present participle of the
same patior, and is akin to the Greek verb
(= paskhein, to suffer) and to its cognate noun
(= pathos).[4][5] Ranked a great virtue in
numerous philosophies, compassion is considered
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in almost all the major religious traditions as


among the greatest of virtues.

Tragic mask on the faade of the Royal Dramatic


Theatre in Stockholm
Suffering, or pain in a broad sense, is an
experience of unpleasantness and aversion
associated with the perception of harm or threat of
harm in an individual. Suffering is the basic
element that makes up the negative valence of
affective phenomena.

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Suffering may be qualified as physical or mental. It


may come in all degrees of intensity, from mild to
intolerable. Factors of duration and frequency of
occurrence usually compound that of intensity.
Attitudes toward suffering may vary widely, in the
sufferer or other people, according to how much it
is regarded as avoidable or unavoidable, useful or
useless, deserved or undeserved.
Suffering occurs in the lives of sentient beings in
numerous manners, and often dramatically. As a
result, many fields of human activity are
concerned, from their own points of view, with
some aspects of suffering. These aspects may
include the nature of suffering, its processes, its
origin and causes, its meaning and significance, its
related personal, social, and cultural behaviours, its
remedies, management, and uses.
Social connectedness is the measure of how
people come together and interact. At an individual
level, social connectedness involves the quality and
number of connections one has with other people in
a social circle of family, friends, and
acquaintances. Going beyond these individual-level
concepts, it involves relationships with beyond
one's social circles and even to other communities.
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This connectedness, one of several components of


community cohesion, provides benefits to both
individuals and society.
Population based surveys sometimes use qualitative
questions to help understand the level of social
connectedness in communities.
Thought suppression is the process of deliberately
trying to stop thinking about certain thoughts
(Wegner, 1989). It is often associated with
obsessivecompulsive disorder,[citation needed] in which
a sufferer will repeatedly (usually unsuccessfully)
attempt to prevent or "neutralize" intrusive
distressing thoughts centered around one or more
obsessions. It is also related to work on memory
inhibition.
Thought suppression is different from Freud's
(1955) concept of repression, which is unconscious
and automatic and has relatively little empirical
support (see Eysenck, 1985; Holmes, 1990 for a
review). Over thirty-five experiments to date have
found evidence for thought suppression and its
effectiveness. At both a mental and a behavioural
level, suppression of thoughts, whether personally
relevant or not, can produce ironic effects that are
contrary to intention.
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"Ameinias" redirects here. For the younger brother of


Aeschylus, see Ameinias of Athens.

Narcissus by Caravaggio depicts Narcissus gazing at his


own reflection.
In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/nrsss/;
Greek: , Narkissos) was a hunter from
the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was
renowned for his beauty. He was the son of a river
god named Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope.
He was exceptionally proud of what he did to those
who loved him. Nemesis noticed and attracted
Narcissus to a pool, wherein he saw his reflection
and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely
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an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his


reflection, Narcissus died. Narcissus is the origin of
the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself.
Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection,
Narcissus died. Narcissus is the origin of the term
narcissism, a fixation with oneself.
Narcissism is a term that originated with Narcissus
in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own
image reflected in a pool of water. Currently it is
used to describe the pursuit of gratification from
vanity, or egotistic admiration of one's own
physical or mental attributes, that derive from
arrogant pride. Narcissism has included particular
meanings in specific fields:

A concept in psychoanalytic theory, introduced


in Sigmund Freud's On Narcissism

An Axis II disorder, Narcissistic personality


disorder, in DSM-IV

A social or cultural problem

A factor in trait theory used in some self-report


inventories of personality such as the Millon
Clinical Multiaxial Inventory
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Except in the sense of primary narcissism or


healthy self-love, narcissism is usually considered a
problem in a person or group's relationships with
self and others. Narcissism is not the same as
egocentrism.

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SELF-LOVE IS THE

LOVE OF
ONESELF.
In 1956, psychologist and social philosopher Erich
Fromm proposed that loving oneself is different
from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. He
proposed that loving oneself means caring about
oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting
oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic
and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses).
He proposed, further, that in order to be able to
truly love another person, a person needs first to
love oneself in this way.

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