Importance of empathy based

public service
Central Tibetan Administration
Dharamsala, India - April 24, 2015
Presenter: Geshe Ngawang Samten & Ashish Kulshrestha

1. Importance of good Intent

2. Empathic listening
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1 Importance of good intent

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Brain 101 The Three Part Structure

Thinking Brain
Ability for language,
Abstraction, Planning,
Perception
Capability to recombine facts
to form ideas, Advanced
thought

Survival Brain:
Breathing, blood flow
Instinctual behavior
aggression, dominance,
territoriality, fight or flight

Emotional Brain:
Is this Good or Bad?
Motivates our actions,
reasoning and thought
Ability to learn, memory,
adaptation and change
Motivation and emotion

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Mirror Neurons

A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires, when we act with

intent and when we observe the same action being
performed with intent by another

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Mirror Neurons ?

Emotions are contagious, behaviors and even actions are

contagious .thanks to Mirror Neurons
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2 Empathic Listening

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Name That Quadrant

Identify and respond to different behavior types
Task

SCIENTIST

DIRECTOR

Introverted

Extroverted

NURTURER

ENTERTAINER

People

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Takeaway

Do peoples choices of clothes, cars, words, topics and so on reveal

something about their deeper values?
What gifts or added perspectives does each behavioral type offer?
Think of people you prefer being with? Which behavioral quadrant do
they fall into?
Do people always stay in the same quadrant?
Can we ever say, I know what quadrant youre in, so I know what youll
do in any situation?

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How We Communicate

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Listening

http://www.state.gov/m/a/os/65759.htm

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Can we use vulnerability?

When we presents as the one with all answers that attitude is contagious

One must admit that everything is not good I have a problem, my situation
isnt ideal, I have made mistake

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Empathic Listening to individuals

How many times you had a perfect opportunity, genuine enthusiasm to

rescue the person?
How many of those you succeeded in closing, realizing full potential?
You may have been right, but being right in itself a listening
block, placing buyer and seller in opposition
If someone is right, then someone else must be wrong

Would you rather be right, or would you rather be

in a relationship?
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Listening is not part of questioning, questioning is part of listening

Sincere curiosity, to sincerely understand the persons story. They cant be

scripted ahead of time

Listening leads to real emotional connection,

ultimately, to successful relationship

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Empathic Listening

The purest form of listening is to listen without

memory or desire
When we listen with memory, we push an old agenda
When we listen with desire, we push a new agenda

We judge others by their actions, but ourselves by

our intentions
Do you wish people understood your intentions?
Do you wish you understood others intentions?

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Empathic Listening

People dont care how much you

know until they know how much
you care - Theodore Roosevelt
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 Smile at people.

Be fully present when you are with people. Don't check your email,
look at your watch or take phone calls when a direct report drops into
your office to talk to you. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you
feel if your boss did that to you?
Use people's name. Also remember the names of people's spouse and
children so that you can refer to them by name.
Encourage people, particularly the quiet ones, when they speak up in
meetings. A simple thing like an attentive nod can boost people's
confidence.
Don't interrupt people. Don't dismiss their concerns offhand. Don't
rush to give advice. Don't change the subject. Allow people their
moment.

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 Give genuine recognition and praise.

Pay attention to what people are doing and catch them doing the
right things.

Take a personal interest in people.

Show people that you care, and genuine curiosity about their lives.
Ask them questions about their hobbies, their challenges, their
families, their aspirations.

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 Empathy is an emotional and thinking muscle that becomes stronger the

more we use it

One measure of a person, is how they treat someone who is of absolutely

no use to them

Empathy should not be selective: It should be a daily habit

Don't Leave Home Without It!

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