Oversized Loads:

Child Parentification
in Low-Income Families and
Underlying ParentChild Dynamics
Week 04
Introduction
Parentification: imposing tasks and responsibilities on children that are typically ascribed to
adults
Article uses the perspective that children are active agents in accommodating and negotiating
their parents attempts to transfer care responsibilities to them
Paradigm shift when working with parentified children:
o Instead of treating them as victims of family deprivation, more attention should be given
to tapping their strengths in the intervention process
o Shift from a pathological view of parentification to acknowledging the unnoticed
strengths of these children and their contributions to the family
Social workers should support mothers from low-income families so that they can transfer fewer
of their burdens to their children, and the children could be released to pursue their
developmental goals.
Poor families in Singapore can be found in all ethnic groups, but Malays are overrepresented
(Cheung, 2012) and there is little research on the lived experience of children from Malay
families
o One study found parents from poor families preoccupied with meeting daily physical
needs often lack the time and energy to tend to the emotional and social needs of their
children (Lee, 2012).
o In addition, parents from poor families tend to enlist their childrens help with household
chores as a way of coping (Dodson & Dickert, 2004)
Parentification refers to the process in which there is an apparent role reversal in that children are
given developmentally inappropriate expectations to handle adult responsibilities
o Children may sacrifice their own needs for attention, comfort, and guidance and defer
pursuits such as education, friendships, and childhood activities in order to attend to the
overriding priorities of familial needs
o This phenomenon is common among economically disadvantaged families
A substantial number of studies point to the negative effects of parentification on developmental
outcomes:
o including anxiety, depression, psychological distress, shame, eating disorders, substance
misuse, and poor academic performances
However, some researchers have argued that caring by young people may not necessarily be
problematic (Hooper, Marotta, & Lanthier, 2008)

The assumption of parental responsibilities by children is not uncommon in many

cultures and there may be potential benefits such as social competence, sensitivity, and
greater capacity for intimate relationships
Parentified Children and Their Parents as Active Agents
Underlying existing studies is a unidirectional conception of parentchild relations in which the
parent is conceptualized as the active agent and the child as passive recipient or linear outcome of
parental actions
The need for alternative perspectives that have the potential for uncovering strengths and not just
deficits is also congruent with the second authors long-term experience in frontline social work
practice with disadvantaged families where children were often observed to play an active and
constructive role in the family
o Child acting as a competent or resilient actor stepping up to promote mutual goals on
behalf of the family
Social relational theory (SRT):
o Provides several conceptual tools for studying dynamic processes in parentchild
relationships
o According to SRT, influence in socialization is bidirectional, such that parents both
influence children and are influenced by children during social interactions
Children, like parents, are active agents in their families with capacities to construct meanings of
their experiences, resist domination, and influence their environment through their actions
SRT hence provides lenses to investigate the parentchild dynamic underlying parentification that
affirms the agency of children and parents and the influence they have on each other within the
parentchild relationship.
o

Results
Childrens Parentification
The kinds of parentified behaviors exhibited by the young children can be broadly divided into
instrumental and emotional caregiving
Examples of instrumental caregiving in this sample included self-care tasks, household chores,
and caregiving.
o Self-care tasks included managing their own meals and traveling to school without the
supervision of adults
o Although the mothers were the main persons in charge of housework, they delegated
various chores such as dishwashing, household cleaning, and grocery shopping to their
children
o Besides these primarily manual tasks, children also helped to care for their younger
siblings, a task that requires both physical and emotional effort
o Caregiving tasks included feeding and bathing younger siblings and coaxing them to
sleep
Examples of childrens emotional caregiving included acting as confidant and comforter to
mothers, as well as mediating between their parents during marital conflicts
o Not shielded from matters typically considered as out of childrens purview, the children
witnessed events such as quarrels among their parents, their fathers abandonment of the
family, and their mothers struggles to make ends meet
o Mothers reported sharing their emotional struggles with their children and children
comforting and showing concern to them in response

Process of Parentification
Parentification is not a linear outcome of parental pressure
Three themes, child initiative, child resistance, and parental tactics
o Emerged to capture the agentic behaviors of children and mothers during social
interactions that contribute to the nature of childrens involvement in parentified
behaviors
Child initiative
Children often had their own motivations for helping their mothers and they showed initiative in
assuming caregiving tasks
Some children indicated that they were keenly aware of the heavy burdens carried by their
mothers and willingly participated in sharing their mothers loads
Children were not satisfied with remaining as mere recipients of their mothers love and
protection but hoped to reciprocate as well
Children also showed initiative in taking care of the well-being of their mothers
Besides tending to their mothers physical needs, children also tended to their emotional needs
Reciprocal responsiveness in the relationship:
o Children demonstrated filial responsiveness to parental cues in a manner similar to the
construct of parental responsiveness previously identified as a key component of
competent parenting
Children were also protective of their mothers in times when conflicts arose between their parents
o Not knowing how to resolve the issue, children may try to intervene directly by
confronting their fathers, who were seen as antagonists in the situation
Children also exhibited initiative in caring for their younger siblings
When asked how they felt toward performing caregiving tasks on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1
meaning that they hate doing the tasks and 10 signifying that they enjoy doing the tasks, several
of the children chose high scores of 9 or 10
o They also remarked that the tasks were not difficult and that they were happy doing them
o However, such positive motivations in executing the tasks do not mean that the tasks are
always manageable for the children
The children shared that there were times when they did not feel like doing the
chores because they were tired or faced difficulties.
In such situations, some children reacted by refusing to accede to mothers
requests
Others expressed that they coped by persevering
Such acts of tolerance and persistence support the inference that children are resilient in
regulating their own emotions under adversity;
o For example, they suppress their own negative feelings in order to continue fulfilling the
tasks
o However, it also reveals a dark side of this resilience that it does not always stem from
cheery motivations and includes childrens intentional decisions and commitments made
due to the knowledge and understanding of the needs of the situation.

Child resistance
Children do not exceed parental expectations and instructions all of the time
Situations where children resisted their mothers attempts to lay excessive burdens on them were
also reported
o As they grow older, they express their resistance more often, either in direct refusal to
complete the tasks, through verbalizations of unwillingness, or by attempts to negotiate
parental demands
o This is consistent with lifespan developmental theory, which posits that older children
and emerging teens seek to gain independence
As children grow older, they assert their own views more often and demonstrate more resistance
toward their mothers requests and comply less thoroughly
Another reason behind the childrens resistance is the developmentally challenging task of acting
in place of parents with regard to the younger siblings for whom they are responsible
o Its tiring to take care of her [younger sister]. Its difficult when she cries, when she
beats me.She beats me, then I beat her, then my mother would scold me.
Not armed with the legitimate authority or social competencies that parents have, children are ill
equipped to handle the task of managing their younger siblings at times when their younger
siblings misbehave or even bully them
o Children are caught in a dilemma when they need to discipline their younger siblings yet
are accused of wrongdoing when caught beating or scolding them
o Such circumstances rightly highlight the internal tension they facehow to care for their
younger siblings though they may not possess all the resources necessary to do so
Another factor contributing to childrens resistance is that their family responsibilities prevent
them from pursuing their own activities in an unrestrained manner.
o Children talked about their sadness when they could not go out and play because they had
to take care of their younger siblings.
They also exhibited agency in trying to find solutions to the problem, either by negotiating with
their mothers or accomplishing their given tasks first
o EX. Farhan explained how he would first put his younger siblings to sleep so that he
could go out to ride his bicycle. Thus, his negotiated solution both achieved his own goal
and accommodated his mothers request for help.
In addition to their altruistic motives for helping their mothers or their siblings (mentioned
earlier), the children also described self-serving motives to avoid punishment
o Other children reported that they performed assigned tasks to pacify their mothers before
pursuing their personal goals
o Despite the fact that children may express resistance and not comply with all their
mothers requests, it does not mean that they are any less involved.
Looking at the situation objectively, these children are in fact already doing a lot, much more than
their peers may be doing
o Thus, their resistance may be legitimate and communicate that the loads placed upon
them are beyond their capacities

Parental tactics
In the analytical frame of SRT, parentchild interactions are considered as interactions between
agents who anticipate, respond to, and accommodate the agentic actions of the other
In their own capacity as agents, mothers reported various tactics to urge their children to engage
in parentified behaviors either as a primary act or as a response when children resist
o At the most basic level, mothers directly instructed their children to undertake the tasks
Should the children disobey or negotiate for alternative arrangements, the
mothers might reason with them and persuade them by providing justifications
for their involvement; for example, the requirement is reasonable and fair.
o Mothers may also engage in a bargaining process with their children so that both parties
can achieve their goals
Enforced rules regarding household chores by threatening to withhold privileges
such as permission to go out and play if they do not comply
o Mothers may also use coercive tactics such as threatening punishment or psychological
consequences when children resist their commands.
Extreme tactics are especially difficult for children to ignore or respond to as
they are being entangled in the fear of their mothers truly executing these
warnings
Confronted with such pressure, children are sometimes forced to give in to their
mothers commands, consequently forgoing their personal endeavors
The data also showed that mothers communicated appreciation for childrens efforts.
o Such appreciation may have been spontaneous and genuine or calculated to reinforce
compliance to their requests for help
Mothers employ these various forms of tactics, either intentionally or subconsciously, to persuade
their children to help
Such actions are able to evoke emotional responses in the children, such as a heightened sense of
responsibility, fear of punishment, gratification, or an increased sense of self-regard.
o The children are then driven toward a more cooperative stance, such as accommodation
or more resolute compliance, in fulfilling the given tasks

Discussion
The findings challenge mainstream studies that conceptualize children who engage in tasks of
caring for parents or other family members as passive victims of a detrimental process.
Instead, children were found to be agentic beings who exhibit tremendous ability in interpreting
the circumstances around them, including the needs of family members, and acting to achieve
their individual goals as well as shared goals with family members with whom they have a
mutual stake
Thus, childrens parentification was found to be a process involving intense yet subtle dynamics
of cooperation, negotiation, and resistance.
The findings call for a relook at parentified children

Child Agency
Just as mothers wish to achieve their goals, interpret and create meanings of their experiences,
and act upon their intentions, children also demonstrate such agency
o Because they are embedded in the context of family relationships, children are not
oblivious to issues such as parental conflict and divorce, their fathers absence, the
familys financial needs, and their mothers being overburdened
o Instead, they actively make sense and create meanings of these occurrences
Agency was displayed in how children took the initiative to help their mothers in household
chores, prevent the familys financial situation from worsening, and take care of their younger
siblings
o They were sensitive to the needs of the family and intervened based on their personal
motivation to lessen the loads of their mothers and improve the situation at home
o In fact, this motivation drove them to persevere and stay committed to what they are
doing, especially at times when they did not feel like doing so
Conversely, childrens agency was also displayed in how they resisted some of the
responsibilities placed upon them by their mothers
o While children desire to be a support in their families, they also have their own needs and
goals that they hope to achieve
o They did not mindlessly accede to their mothers every instruction but instead carefully
weighed the options available before choosing whether to comply or not
o They were also resourceful in proposing ways to reach a compromise that accommodated
their mothers wishes

Evidently, children possess great ability to attune to the circumstances around them, contemplate
the benefits and disadvantages of various options, and put their decisions into action
o Evidence of such deliberate decision-making processes rightly discredits the portrayal of
these children as victims of their mothers control, but rather supports that they are active
agents in the family.

Agency Within the Relationship Context

The agency of mothers and children should also be examined together in light of the relationship
context in which they are embedded
The mothers and childrens interests in the mutual parentchild relationship render them receptive
and vulnerable to each others influence and place a limit on their exercise of agency
Both parents and children made efforts to sustain the quality of the relationship even as they
worked toward achieving their individual goals
o For instance, mothers were careful to give some leeway to their children to negotiate, and
they showed appreciation for their childrens efforts
o They did not always forcefully exert their authority but paid attention to ensure an
amicable relationship with their children as well
The relational context thus places a constraint on the mothers actions, preventing
them from employing overly coercive tactics that may be damaging to the
relationship
o Similarly, the children considered the motherchild relationship important to maintain,
and therefore put off some of their personal goals to accommodate the tasks assigned to
them
o Conscious of how much their mothers were struggling, they avoided outright rebellion or
direct expressions of their difficulties
Rather, they sought to protect the relationship even when they resisted their
mothers demands
Besides their individual goals, both mothers and children also considered the maintenance of their
parentchild relationship as a goal and therefore made compromises

The Construct of Parentification

Many of the behaviors studied under the framework of parentification can be understood as
competent, empathic patterns of reciprocity in the family
The relation between amount of childrens parentification and adaptive functioning is a
curvilinear one (with only the extremes of very little and very much engagement in such
behaviors indicating detrimental associations with healthy functioning).
The pattern of childrens protectiveness of mothers and willingness to engage in prosocial
behaviors that benefit the family, while at the same time being protective of their own interests,
could be viewed as strengths that could be built upon.

Implications for Practice

Rather than seeing them as passive victims of needy parents, findings from this study have shown
the extraordinary abilities of children in influencing their environments and contributing to their
families
These efforts, however, often go unnoticed or, worse, are seen as pathological
o Social workers should be deliberate in identifying these efforts, affirming the childrens
contributions to the family and teaching their mothers to do likewise
o Social workers can also capitalize on these childrens strengths, such as executive ability
or empathic skills, and think of creative ways to work with children in expanding these
capabilities into domains outside their families.
In addition, social workers should also support the mothers so that they can transfer fewer of their
burdens to their children, and the children could be released to pursue their developmental goals
o A comparison of the participating families suggests that mothers with fewer burdens and
who had more support tend to be less demanding in their expectations.
Practical and emotional support should be made readily available to these mothers so that
children will not have to take on overly burdensome duties
The acknowledgment of their capabilities does not mean that they do not need help
o More support should be rendered to them even as we applaud their abilities and sacrifices
o Indeed, appropriate help and support can help transform these oversized loads into much
more manageable ones for these children
o Care should be taken to ensure that their needs are met even as they seek to meet the
needs of their families