Module I: Conflict Management

Conflict: Varied Perspectives; Belief Systems and Values; Interests

There is, perhaps, nothing more common than conflict. As a mediator, conflict
may constructively be viewed as resulting from:
o

varied perspectives on the situation;

differing belief systems and values resulting from participant's

accumulated life experience and conditioning; and
o differing objectives and interests.
o

Effectively dealing with conflict requires the expression and management of

participants' varying perspectives, interests, belief systems and values. It is
important to meet the participants exactly where they are. Hear from them fully
before tying to lead them anywhere. You can not effectively move toward
resolution until each participant experiences themselves to be heard on "their
perspective," "what they want," and "why."
Common Ground - Overlapping Interests and Interdependence
Along with their sometimes too well-known differences, people in conflict share
much common ground, including:
o

overlapping interests -- participants share in their own

relationship, typically have common friends and colleagues, and
also have interest in resolving the conflict in an expeditious and
economic way;

interdependence -- no single participant has the ability to

unilaterally impose a resolution on another without paying a very
substantial price for doing so; and

points of agreement -- even when there are many disputed

issues, there may still be a number of points of agreement or
possible agreement. The wise mediator assists the parties to
identify what they may be easily able to agree on as a foundation
for additional discussions.

The Evolutionary Nature of Conflict

Through the integration of participants' perspectives, interests, belief systems
and values, conflict and conflict resolution play important roles in individual

and social evolution and development. Conflict arises when one or more
participants view the current system as not working. At least one party
issufficiently dissatisfied with the status quo that they are willing to own the
conflict and speak up with the hope of being able to influence the situation to
arrive at an improved condition. Conflict may be viewed as a process we put
ourselves through to achieve a new condition and self definition. Through
conflict we have opportunities to be creatively self-defining. If nothing
else, conflict allows us to do things differently in the future. Through the
resolution of conflict, we can, if we choose, evolve and redefine ourselves, our
relationships, our community, our society and our world. It is no accident that
we most often find ourselves in conflict with those with whom we spend the
most time -- family, friends, business associates, and fellow organizational
members. There is a great benefit, in terms of the quality of our lives, in being
able to constructively resolve conflict with those around us.
Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Conflict
Conflict should also be recognized as existing at two levels:
the interpersonal level; and
o the intrapersonal level.
o

In addition to the typically obvious interpersonal dispute, there almost always

exists some measure of intra-personal conflict within each disputing party as
that party seeks to assert varied, sometimes contradictory, interests. This inner
conflict may be evidenced by confusion, inconsistency or lack of congruity. In
this condition, the participant has failed to effectively integrate their various
"parts" or "voices" to achieve an effective and comfortable representation of
personal interests.
Facilitating a Convergence of Means
Conflict Resolution represents a convergence of means (or arrangements for the
future), not necessarily participants' interests or perspectives. Participants will
commonly come to support the same arrangement or agreement for very
different reasons. Conflict resolution does not necessarily resolve tensions
between parties. Conflict resolution may simply sufficiently align matters to
allow each participant to make enough progress toward his or her desired ends
to prefer declaring there to be a "a state of agreement" rather than the
uncertain and stressful "state of disagreement."

Module II: Behavioural & Interpersonal Communication

Behavioral communication is also called as non verbal communication.

93 % information can be send by nonverbal communication.

It is difficult to control and plan

Types Of Behavioral Communication

Facial expression

Eye contact

Gestures

Postures

Personal appearance

Touching behaviors

Voice

Scopes of behavioral communication

It helps in Improving non verbal communication

It helps in Interpreting signals

It helps in Speed reading

It helps in understanding the importance of non verbal communication

vs Verbal communication

Module III: Relationship Management for Personal and professional

Development
Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and wellbeing. There is
compelling evidence that strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and
happy life. Conversely, the health risks from being alone or isolated in one's life
are comparable to the risks associated with cigarette smoking, blood pressure,
and obesity.
Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:

Live longer. A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social
relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely. Similarly, Dan
Buettners Blue Zones research calculates that committing to a life partner
can add 3 years to life expectancy (Researchers Nicholas Christakis and
James Fowler have found that mens life expectancy benefits from marriage
more than womens do.)
Deal with stress. The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer
against the effects of stress. In a study of over 100 people, researchers found
that people who completed a stressful task experienced a faster recovery
when they were reminded of people with whom they had strong relationships.
(Those who were reminded of stressful relationships, on the other hand,
experienced even more stress and higher blood pressure.)
Be healthier. According to research by psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college
students who reported having strong relationships were half as likely to
catch a common cold when exposed to the virus. In addition, 2012
international Gallup poll found that people who feel they have friends and
family to count on are generally more satisfied with their personal health
than people who feel isolated. And hanging out with healthy people increases
your own likelihood of healthin their book Connected, Christakis and
Fowler show that non-obese people are more likely to have non-obese friends
because healthy habits spread through our social networks.
Feel richer. A survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000
people found that doubling your group of friends has the same effect on your
wellbeing as a 50% increase in income!
On the other hand, low social support is linked to a number of health
consequences, such as:

Depression. Loneliness has long been commonly associated with depression,

and now research is backing this correlation up: a 2012 study of breast
cancer patients found that those with fewer satisfying social connections
experienced higher levels of depression, pain, and fatigue.
Decreased immune function. The authors of the same study also found a
correlation between loneliness and immune system dysregulation, meaning
that a lack of social connections can increase your chances of becoming sick.
Higher blood pressure. University of Chicago researchers who studied a
group of 229 adults over five years found that loneliness could predict higher
blood pressure even years later, indicating that the effects of isolation have
long-lasting consequences.
According to psychiatrists Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz, social
alienation is an inevitable result of contemporary society's preoccupation with
materialism and frantic "busy-ness." Their decades of research supports the
idea that a lack of relationships can cause multiple problems with physical,
emotional,
and
spiritual
health.
The
research
is
clear
and
devastating: isolation is fatal.

The following tips can help you create and maintain a healthy
relationship:
1. Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it's best to
talk about it instead of holding it in.
2. Respect Your Partner. ...
3. Compromise. ...
4. Be Supportive. ...
5. Respect Each Other's Privacy.
Module IV: Stress Management
stress is simply a reaction to a stimulus that disturbs our physical or mental
equilibrium. In other words, it's an omnipresent part of life.
Scientist Hans Selye (1907-1982) introduced the General Adaptation
Syndrome model in 1936 showing in three phases what the alleged effects of
stress has on the body.
In his work, Selye - 'the father of stress research,' developed the theory
that stress is a major cause of disease because chronic stress causes longterm chemical changes.
He observed that the body would respond to any external biological source of
stress with a predictable biological pattern in an attempt to restore the bodys
internal homeostasis.
This initial hormonal reaction is your fight or flight stress response - and its
purpose is for handling stress very quickly! The process of the bodys struggle
to maintain balance is what Selye termed, the General Adaptation Syndrome.
Pressures, tensions, and other stressors can greatly influence your normal
metabolism. Selye determined that there is a limited supply of adaptive
energy to deal with stress. That amount declines with continuous exposure.

Every stress leaves an indelible scar, and the organism pays for its
survival after a stressful situation by becoming a little older.
~ Hans Selye
Going through a series of steps, your body consistently works to regain

stability. With the general adaptation syndrome, a humans adaptive response

to stress has three distinct phases:
ALARM STAGE Your first reaction to stress recognizes theres a danger and prepares to deal
with the threat, a.k.a. the fight or flight response. Activation of the HPA axis,
the nervous system (SNS) and the adrenal glands take place.
During this phase the main stress hormones cortisol, adrenaline, and
noradrenaline, is released to provide instant energy.
If this energy is repeatedly not used by physical activity, it can become
harmful.
Too much adrenaline results in a surge of blood pressure that can damage
blood vessels of the heart and brain a risk factor in heart attack and stroke.
The excess production of the cortisol hormone can cause damage to cells and
muscle tissues. Stress related disorders and disease from cortisol include
cardiovascular conditions, stroke, gastric ulcers, and high blood sugar levels.
At this stage everything is working as it should you have a stressful event,
your body alarms you with a sudden jolt of hormonal changes, and you are
now immediately equipped with enough energy to handle it.
RESISTANCE STAGE The body shifts into this second phase with the source of stress being possibly
resolved. Homeostasis begins restoring balance and a period of recovery for
repair and renewal takes place.
Stress hormone levels may return to normal but you may have reduced
defenses and adaptive energy left.
If a stressful condition persists, your body adapts by a continued effort in
resistance and remains in a state of arousal.
Problems begin to manifest when you find yourself repeating this process too
often with little or no recovery. Ultimately this moves you into the final stage.
EXHAUSTION STAGE -

At this phase, the stress has continued for some time. Your bodys ability to
resist is lost because its adaptation energy supply is gone. Often referred to as
overload, burnout, adrenal fatigue, maladaptation or dysfunction Here is
where stress levels go up and stay up!
The adaptation process is over and not surprisingly; this stage of the general
adaptation syndrome is the most hazardous to your health.
Chronic stress can damage nerve cells in tissues and organs. Particularly
vulnerable is the hippocampus section of the brain. Thinking and memory are
likely to become impaired, with tendency toward anxiety and depression.
There can also be adverse function of the autonomic nervous system that
contributes to high blood pressure, heart disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and
other stress related illness.

The progressive stages of the general adaptation syndrome clearly show where
having excessive stress can lead. Given a choice, why would anyone purposely
choose this path? You may want to check out some relaxation or perhaps
an herbal stress relief strategy to help bring this under control.
The sources of stress are numerous with our hectic lifestyles, but luckily there
are just as many ways to relieve stress and still keep up and keep going.

Healthy ways
Stress management strategy #1: Get moving
Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of
stress, but you dont have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to
experience the benefits. Just about any form of physical activity can help
relieve stress and burn away anger, tension, and frustration. Exercise releases
endorphins that boost your mood and make you feel good, and it can also serve
as a valuable distraction to your daily worries.
While the maximum benefit comes from exercising for 30 minutes or more, you
can start small and build up your fitness level gradually. Short, 10-minute
bursts of activity that elevate your heart rate and make you break out into a
sweat can help to relieve stress and give you more energy and optimism. Even

very small activities can add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get
yourself up and moving. Here are a few easy ways:

Put on some music and dance around

Take your dog for a walk
Walk or cycle to the grocery store
Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator
Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way
Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you
workout
Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids

Managing stress with regular exercise

Once youre in the habit of being physically active, try to incorporate regular
exercise into your daily schedule. Activities that are continuous and rhythmic
and require moving both your arms and your legsare especially effective at
relieving stress. Walking, running, swimming, dancing, cycling, tai chi, and
aerobic classes are good choices.
Pick an activity you enjoy, so youre more likely to stick with it. Instead of
continuing to focus on your thoughts while you exercise, make a conscious
effort to focus on your body and the physical (and sometimes emotional)
sensations you experience as youre moving. Adding this mindfulness element
to your exercise routine will help you break out of the cycle of negative
thoughts that often accompanies overwhelming stress. Focus on coordinating
your breathing with your movements, for example, or notice how the air or
sunlight feels on your skin. Getting out of your head and paying attention to
how your body feels is also the surest way to avoid picking up an injury.
When youve exercised, youll likely find it easier to put other stress
management techniques to use, including reaching out to others and engaging
socially.
Stress management strategy #2: Engage socially
Reach out and build relationships

Reach out to a colleague at work

Help someone else by volunteering
Have lunch or coffee with a friend
Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly
Accompany someone to the movies or a concert
Call or email an old friend
Go for a walk with a workout buddy
Schedule a weekly dinner date

Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club

Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach

Social engagement is the quickest, most efficient way to rein in stress and
avoid overreacting to internal or external events that you perceive as
threatening. There is nothing more calming to your nervous system than
communicating with another human being who makes you feel safe and
understood. This experience of safetyas perceived by your nervous system
results from nonverbal cues that you hear, see and feel.
The inner ear, face, heart, and stomach are wired together in the brain, so
socially interacting with another person face-to-facemaking eye contact,
listening in an attentive way, talkingcan quickly calm you down and put the
brakes on defensive stress responses like fight-or-flight. It can also release
hormones that reduce stress, even if youre unable to alter the stressful
situation itself. Of course, its not always realistic to have a pal close by to lean
on when you feel overwhelmed by stress, but by building and maintaining a
network of close friends you can improve your resiliency to lifes stressors. On
the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you are, the greater your
vulnerability to stress.
Reach out to family and friends and connect regularly in person. The people
you talk to dont have to be able to fix your stress; they just need to be good
listeners. Opening up is not a sign of weakness and it wont make you a burden
to others. In fact, most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to
confide in them, and it will only strengthen your bond. And remember, its
never too late to build new friendships and improve your support network.
Stress management strategy #3: Avoid unnecessary stress
While stress is an automatic response from your nervous system, some
stressors arise at predictable timesyour commute to work, a meeting with
your boss, or family gatherings, for example. When handling such predictable
stressors, you can either change the situation or change your reaction. When
deciding which option to choose in any given scenario, its helpful to think of
the four A's: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Avoid the stressor
Its not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but
you may be surprised by the number of stressors in your life that you can
eliminate.

Learn how to say no Know your limits and stick to them. Whether
in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle

is a surefire recipe for stress. Distinguish between the shoulds and the
musts and, when possible, say no to taking on too much.
Avoid people who stress you out If someone consistently causes
stress in your life, limit the amount of time you spend with that person,
or end the relationship.
Take control of your environment If the evening news makes you
anxious, turn off the TV. If traffic makes you tense, take a longer but
less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do
your grocery shopping online.

Stress management strategy #4: Alter the situation

If you cant avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves
changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or

someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your
concerns in an open and respectful way. If youve got an exam to study
for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only
have five minutes to talk. If you dont voice your feelings, resentment will
build and the stress will increase.
Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their
behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at
least a little, youll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of
stress. But if you plan ahead and make sure you dont overextend
yourself, youll find it easier to stay calm and focused.

Stress management strategy #5: Adapt to the stressor

How you think can have a profound effect on your stress levels. Each time you
think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the
throes of a tension-filled situation. Regain your sense of control by changing
your expectations and attitude to stressful situations.

Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive

perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an
opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or
enjoy some alone time.
Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask
yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a
month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no,
focus your time and energy elsewhere.
Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable
stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set

reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with
good enough.
Stress management strategy #6: Accept the things you cant change
Many sources of stress are unavoidable. You cant prevent or change stressors,
such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In
such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are.
Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, its easier than railing against
a situation you cant change.

Dont try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond
our controlparticularly the behavior of other people. Rather than
stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the
way you choose to react to problems.
Look for the upside. When facing major challenges, try to look at them
as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices
contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your
mistakes.
Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and
that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free
yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Stress management strategy #7: Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress
in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and
relaxation, youll be in a better place to handle lifes stressors.
Develop a "stress relief toolbox"
Come up with a list of healthy ways to relax and recharge. Try to implement
one or more of these ideas each day, even if you're feeling good.

Go for a walk
Spend time in nature
Call a good friend
Play a competitive game of tennis
or racquetball
Write in your journal
Take a long bath
Light scented candles

Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea

Play with a pet
Work in your garden
Get a massage
Curl up with a good book
Listen to music
Watch a comedy

Dont get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take
care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily
schedule. Dont allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to
take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that
bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on
your bike.
Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at
yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of
ways.

Stress management strategy #8: Adopt a healthy lifestyle

In addition to regular exercise, there are other healthy lifestyle choices that can
increase your resistance to stress.

Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope

with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with
breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced,
nutritious meals throughout the day.
Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar
provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the
amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet,
youll feel more relaxed and youll sleep better.
Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or
drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only
temporary. Dont avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems
head on and with a clear mind.
Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body.
Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think
irrationally.

Unhealthy ways of coping with stress

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more
damage in the long run:

Smoking
Drinking too much

Using pills or drugs to relax

Sleeping too much

Bingeing on junk or comfort food

Zoning out for hours in front of
the TV or computer
Withdrawing from friends, family,
and activities

Procrastinating
Filling up every minute of the day
to avoid facing problems
Taking out your stress on others
(lashing out, angry outbursts,
physical violence)

Module V: Conflict Resolution & Management

Conflict Management Techniques
In any situation involving more than one person, conflict can arise. The causes
of conflict range from philosophical differences and divergent goals to power
imbalances. Unmanaged or poorly managed conflicts generate a breakdown in
trust and lost productivity. For small businesses, where success often hinges
on the cohesion of a few people, loss of trust and productivity can signal the
death of the business. With a basic understanding of the five conflict
management strategies, small business owners can better deal with conflicts
before they escalate beyond repair.
Accommodating
The accommodating strategy essentially entails giving the opposing side what it
wants. The use of accommodation often occurs when one of the parties wishes
to keep the peace or perceives the issue as minor. For example, a business that
requires formal dress may institute a "casual Friday" policy as a low-stakes
means of keeping the peace with the rank and file. Employees who use
accommodation as a primary conflict management strategy, however, may keep
track and develop resentment.
Avoiding
The avoidance strategy seeks to put off conflict indefinitely. By delaying or
ignoring the conflict, the avoider hopes the problem resolves itself without a
confrontation. Those who actively avoid conflict frequently have low esteem or
hold a position of low power. In some circumstances, avoiding can serve as a
profitable conflict management strategy, such as after the dismissal of a
popular but unproductive employee. The hiring of a more productive
replacement for the position soothes much of the conflict.
Collaborating
Collaboration works by integrating ideas set out by multiple people. The object
is to find a creative solution acceptable to everyone. Collaboration, though
useful, calls for a significant time commitment not appropriate to all conflicts.
For example, a business owner should work collaboratively with the manager

to establish policies, but collaborative decision-making regarding office

supplies wastes time better spent on other activities..
Compromising
The compromising strategy typically calls for both sides of a conflict to give up
elements of their position in order to establish an acceptable, if not agreeable,
solution. This strategy prevails most often in conflicts where the parties hold
approximately equivalent power. Business owners frequently employ
compromise during contract negotiations with other businesses when each
party stands to lose something valuable, such as a customer or necessary
service.
Competing
Competition operates as a zero-sum game, in which one side wins and other
loses. Highly assertive personalities often fall back on competition as a conflict
management strategy. The competitive strategy works best in a limited number
of conflicts, such as emergency situations. In general, business owners benefit
from holding the competitive strategy in reserve for crisis situations and
decisions that generate ill-will, such as pay cuts or layoffs.