dominant may deliberately set rules that cant be obeyed in order to make punishment
inevitable, but its just as likely that a wily submissive might disobey the rules on
purpose; rules, here more than anywhere else, are made to be broken.
D&S, or D/s, stands for Domination and Submission (many of its devotees like to play
games with capitalization in order to put a flourish on the power relationships). Its
the most purely emotional of the three concepts. People in D/S relationships may not
have any physical interaction at all, and in some cases may never even meet. While D/
S relationships often contain aspects of both B&D and S&M when they are physical,
they can also be conducted at long distance, over the phone, instant messenger or even
by mail. Many would say that D/S is the most formal and ritualistic of the relationships,
and these tend to be the ones that lend themselves best to the long-term. If youve ever
played out a fantasy that involved a boss and his secretary, a sheik and a harem girl, or
an experienced older person and a willing virgin, you were probably playing with some
aspect of D/S while you did it. The power exchange can be benign and formal, like a
schoolteacher making a student behave, or it can take mush more intense forms, with
elements of emotional abuse or humiliation. It can flow the other way, too D/S is the
venue in which youll find the submissive worshipping his or her Goddess, or the abject
slave striving to be worthy of a stern taskmaster.
S&M stands for Sadism and Masochism; its the most physical of the three milieus,
although it may involve emotional torture or humiliation as well, and its the one that
you most likely got your impression of BDSM from when you saw it parodied in a
mainstream movie. S&M is whips and chains, its spanking, and its bruises and welts.
It takes its name from the names of two European perverts of yore the Marquis de
Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch; both men wrote extensively about the pleasure
to be found in the giving and receiving of pain as part of sexual pleasure sadism and
masochism respectively. If youve ever enjoyed pulling someones hair, smacking
someones ass during sex, or reveled in a sharp bite from a lover, youve taken at least a
tentative first step into S&M. S&M may be part of roleplay, used as a part of either B&D
or D/S relationships to further their emotional power, or it may just be something you do
bcause you like a little pain or rough sex. In the context of the BDSM lifestyle, S&M is
distinct from acts of sexual violence in that both parties, ideally, negotiate and agree to
the degree of severity involved in the giving and receiving of pain. physical S&M can be
as specific as nipple torture or cock and ball torture, or it can involve an entire range of
activities from spanking, paddling, whipping, hot wax, and approximations of real forms
of torture
BDSM is a single acronym that unites a myriad of lifestyles, fetishes, and paraphilia that
may otherwise have nothing in common. A MILF fantasy, a human pony pulling a cart,
a play rape, and a ball-crushing giantess are all aspects of BDSM. By and large, the only
thing that BDSM layers ahve in common is the agreement that it should be performed by
responsible partners, of their own volition, and in a safe way the motto Safe, sane and
consensual sums it up.
Are you into BDSM? Probably. If that freaks you out, though, remember pretty much
everybody else is too!