SRILA BV NARAYANA MAHARAJAS VIST TO WASHINGTON, DC

June 1997
(by Agrahya dasa)
Invocation
My obeisances unto the feet of all the Vaisnava devotees. I beg all of you to forgive any offenses
I have committed, knowingly or unknowingly. Please bless me with prema. This narration is full
of holes as my memory is imperfect, but I have tried to recount some drops of nectarean
instruction here and there. Please forgive me for all the noise in between.
My obeisances unto the lotus feet of my instructing and initiating spiritual masters. I am blind
and lame; my path is difficult, and my feet slip again and again. May they grant me the stick of
their mercy for my support.
My obeisances unto Lord Gauracandra, who has flooded the three worlds with the most elevated
and sublime radiant mellows of ecstatic devotional service. May I become His instrument.
My obeisances unto Lord Nityananda. May He allow me to become a broker in His marketplace
of the Holy Name.
My obeisances unto the Divine Couple, Sri Sri Radha-Vrndavana Natavara. May They grant me
the service of the feet of Their servants' servants' servants' servants.
Preparation
Amazing that after almost 22 years in Krsna consciousness I had never met Srila Narayana
Maharaja. It's possible that I might have gone on in such a state of semi-conscious ignorance
except for the mercy of Vaisnavas.
As moderator of the Usenet newsgroup soc.religion.Vaisnava, it was no surprise to me that yet
another controversy had become a burning issue in the Iskcon community. But in this case, the
controversy surrounded a revered Vaisnava against whom much vilification was directed,
seemingly with no substantiation.
Thus I became determined not to fall into the tiger-trap of Vaisnava aparadha. At the very least, I
had to obtain for myself the association of this Vaisnava to see whether his association was
indeed as sublime and inspiring as I had heard.
In speaking out against institutional ignorance and against offending any Vaisnava, much less
one who had dedicated his entire life to spreading the mission of Lord Gaurangadeva, I rapidly
found myself on the "wrong side of the fence." But if anything, this increased my determination.
I was then most fortunate to obtain the shelter of the association of Sripada BG Narasingha
Maharaja and Sripada BB Visnu Maharaja. I found very quickly that I had harbored many deeprooted misconceptions regarding Gaudiya Vaisnava siddhanta. I found in their holy association a
newfound relish for Hari-katha. I also found that there were many very sincere devotees
continuing to follow Srila Prabhupada outside the institution that he started, and that their
association is highly desirable due to their absorption in Krsna consciousness against all odds.

I also heard further confirmation of what I had already begun to suspect: that Srila Narayana
Maharaja was being wrongly vilified, and that mostly the vilification sprouted from the night soil
of utter ignorance not only of siddhanta, but of what siddhanta really is.
It was with Narasingha Maharaja's encouragement and assistance that I was able to invite Srila
Narayana Maharaja to stay at my home in the Appalachian foothills of western Maryland. To my
astonishment and utter delight, the invitation was accepted. I would have the opportunity to have
the divine association of the type of devotee who is described in the Upadesamrta: bhajanavijnam ananyam anya-nindadi-sunya-hrdamadvanced and expert in undivided devotional
service, and whose heart is devoid of the propensity to vilify others. We are instructed not only
to associate with such devotees, but the faithfully serve them and hear their instructions.
Thus I began preparing for Srila Narayana Maharaja's arrival by inviting other devotees who live
outside the temple like myself. We rented a large canopy so that as many as 150 or 200 devotees
could sit and hear Maharaja speak. We set up outdoor shower and sanitary facilities so the
throngs of eager devotees would be accommodated. I arranged to take some days off from work
to hear from him and serve the devotees.
Thursday, June 19
Arrival
After one false start which delayed the arrival one day, I finally left for the airport to pick up
Srila Narayana Maharaja and his party. I had with me a garland of wild honeysuckle flowers.
Honeysuckle is a creeper that grows profusely around here like jasmine does in the tropics.
Although not as fragrant as jasmine or malati, it does have a very sweet fragrance.
While standing at the arrival gate in Dulles airport, I realized that the garland didn't look that
impressive. In fact, it was downright skimpy. Our house is an hour from the airport, and so we
had a kirtana and many devotees ready to receive Maharaja at my home rather than trying to
orchestrate a caravan from airport to house. So the airport reception was also skimpy: one lone
grhastha bearing a skinny garland that was already mostly wilted from the intense summer heat.
One of Maharaja's female disciples showed up fortunately, and had a very nice rose garland with
her. So the reception wasn't as barren as it could be, but I was still a bit nervous: I didn't feel
adequately prepared to receive a pure devotee of Krsna.
Finally he walked off the plane. I garlanded him and offered my obeisances. The rose garland
covered the honeysuckle garland. I thought later that sometimes devotees claim that if a devotee
receives a name after having already received diksa, this constitutes re-initiation or a rejection of
one's guru. But it is more akin to receiving a flower garland on top of others. No rejection is
required to receive the other flower garlands.
When we reached the street, another miscalculation hit me in the face: there was way more
luggage than I had anticipated. So we managed to cram all the devotees in the back somehow
with the many pieces of luggage, boxes of books, etc.
Finally we pulled into the driveway with a kirtana going full blast outside. Srila Narayana
Maharaja came in, took darsana of Sri ri Radha-Vrndavana Natavara and sat down. I then had
the opportunity to bathe his lotus feet. He did not want to accept, saying, "No, I am a kanistha
Vaisnava." Finally he agreed, and accepted the service tolerantly despite my fumbling.

He then spoke for some time. He spoke on his mission to give association to devotees in the
West, and to take the foot-dust of Swamiji (Srila Prabhupada) by going to places Srila
Prabhupada had visited. He said that some were opposed but he did not mind, any more than a
mother considers the child who pulls her hair. He spoke of the importance of continuing to make
advancement in Krsna consciousness, not staying forever with the ABCs. He spoke of the
mission of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu as not just giving the yuga-dharma of chanting the Holy
Name, but bestowing the most sublime and radiant mellows of devotional service (unnataujjvala-rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam). He confirmed all these things with sastric reference, and
reference to kama-gayatrI, the sannyasa mantra and the gopala mantra.
Everyone who heard this talk and the answers to questions afterward was inspired. There would
be a program the next morning at 10:00, then we would be driving Srila Narayana Maharaja to
Virginia Beach in the afternoon for a program there. One family there had been petitioning him
to come for two years. "How can I refuse?" he said.
Friday, June 20
Laulyam Defined
Walking out the door at 6:10, Srila Narayana Maharaja saw that my son and daughter were
sleeping on the tarp I had laid under the big canopy tent. "I am a sannyasi," he said. "Why are
these children, others sleeping outside and I am inside?" He turned to his brahmacari servants. "I
will stay outside, the children should have this room."
"No, no," I interjected. "They wanted very much to sleep outside. There is ample room inside.
They think it is great fun."
"Fun for them, fine for me," he replied. "We do not need so much comfort." Again to Pundarika
and Navina Krsna, "Go move my things outside."
Again I reassured him that everyone was comfortable and there was no need to do that, and this
time he accepted.
We drove about 5 minutes to the C&O Canal path. The C&O Canal was constructed at great
expense, completed around 1823, but was only in operation for about 10 years before it was
superseded by the railroads. Now it is only known for a footpath beside it which stretches a total
of some 180 miles. I thought this would be a good place for a morning walk, as it's flat, peaceful,
and runs beside the Potomac River in places.
On the way back he spoke about the importance of association, and said that the leaders of
Iskcon were acting like kanistha-adhikaris. On returning, I had a question. I wanted to ask, "So
we need to have missions, which means institutions, mathas, temples, and so many things - how
do we avoid falling into this mentality?" but I only got as far as "so many things."
"Where is this written?" he said. I took it that the point is to develop our Krsna consciousness.
All other things, including developing missions and so forth, are secondary.
I will always remember the definition he gave of laulyam. "When there is a very high thing, very
difficult to get, but still we want it anyway, that is laulyam." I had meditated for many years on
rila Prabhupada's instruction to "do as I have done" but could not somehow reconcile such a
lofty goal with the base reality of my demonic meleccha nature. How could someone like myself,

full of lust, anger, greed, envy, etc. ever become like the faintest shadow of a devotee? Now, in
one simple statement, Srila Narayana Maharaja had helped me to put all this into perspective.
That afternoon we left at 3 PM for Virginia Beach. Ekendra Prabhu (later initiated with the name
Mukunda) came to help drive (and, of course, to get some of Gurudeva's association).
Unfortunately my memory is poor and I do not remember all the instructions he gave while
driving. Mostly he chanted continuously. There came a point where I had temporarily run out of
questions and the realization dawned on me that actually, here is my siksa-guru, and that I could
respect him as I respect Srila Prabhupada.
I had composed a simple verse and wanted to offer it now. "Gurudeva," I said, "I would like to
recite one sloka and you may tell me if it is all right." He nodded.
prema-bhakti-rasanandam
krpa-sindhum amaninam
pragyapayantam vande sribhaktivedanta-narayanam
My obeisances unto Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja, who is absorbed in
the ecstatic mellows of prema-bhakti. He is an ocean of mercy and is without any
desire for prestige. [Following Srila Bhakti Prajnana Kesava Maharaja,] he causes
others to know [about pure devotional service].
He said, "It is a nice verse, but there is poison there." But the other devotees appreciated it, and
someone said, "Mahaprabhu said that in response to praise, but actually it is like camphor."
Someone else said, "You'll get no support from us in this, Gurudeva!" So he accepted it finally,
despite flaws in meter and composition.
We arrived around 8PM, and Gurudeva gave a short talk based on Bhagavad-gita. He connected
with the family members in a very personal way, encouraging each of them in their Krsna
consciousness. Some of the preaching was on a very basic level of realization, but was delivered
in a very sweet and inspiring way.

Saturday, June 21
The Waves Of Sthayi-Bhava
In the morning our host drove us to Virginia Beach for a morning walk. The beachfront is solidly
fronted by hotels and resorts, but there is a large expanse of clean sand to walk on by the Atlantic
seashore. On this particular morning Gurudeva mentioned that he liked to go to Puri, where
sometimes just he and his brahmacari servants would walk for hours just chanting japa and not
engaging in conversation.
So we walked for some time, then Gurudeva turned and pointed to the darkish blue color of
some waves breaking in the distance. "Krsna's color is like that - not black, but darkish."

He then began to speak about sthayi-bhava (steady or fixed spiritual emotion). "There are the
five types of sthayi-bhava: santa, dasya, sakhya, vatsalya, madhurya." He then spoke about the
paraphernalia of sattvika, ancari, etc. He explained there was one devotee who used to stay by
the seashore in Puri and count the waves, but in counting the waves he would remember these
different ornaments of sthayi-bhava.
Gurudeva also explained that in Vraja, there is no pure dasya-rasa (servitorship). It is always
mixed with sakhya (friendship) or vatsalya (parental love). Even Krsna's household servants are
not purely in the rasa of servitude.
In such a simple and captivating way, we were transported from the Atlantic seashore to Puri,
thence to Vraja. Certainly anyone could say these things, but hearing them from such a pure
devotee of the Lord has a unique effect. These words enter the heart through the channel of the
ears, and have a profound effect.
Later Gurudeva was sitting and waiting for the family members to gather. Looking at a simple
Indian painting of Radhika exhibiting mana towards Krsna, he said, "Krsna's mouth is not so
beautiful in this painting. Krsna is very young, 12, 13 years old. Srimati Radhika is 12 years old.
Not like this."
Our host was very eager to tell Gurudeva about the different types of business he was engaged
in. It was easy to see that he was extremely sincere. Without being wealthy, he was eager to offer
whatever he had. Waiting for our host to come, Gurudeva said to me with a smile, "He wants to
tell me everything as if I don't know these things. But I have come to tell him some things."
Gurudeva spoke again, this time mostly answering questions from the family. Again the topics
were simple, based on the realization of the audience, but it was obvious that Gurudeva knew
exactly how to encourage everyone. Whatever spark was there in someone's heart, Gurudeva
would find it and cause it to blaze brighter and hotter. I am sorry that I am not able to remember
more details, but I become joyful just remembering the mood created by his close association
and the inspiration to serve Krsna he so easily bestowed upon those with the price of a little faith.
We left in the afternoon to return to my home, where the devotees were eagerly awaiting
Gurudeva's return. We stopped halfway at a rest area briefly. Sitting at a picnic table, Gurudeva
told me to recite the first 3 verses of the Bhagavatam. "This is easy," I thought, and did as he
requested. "Now explain the first one," he said, and I began stumbling and tripping through a
halting explanation of Krsna as the cause of all causes, by whose illusory energy even great
sages and demigods are bewildered, etc. I was already feeling considerably more humble at this
point.
Now Gurudeva began explaining the first verse of the Bhagavatam according to Srila Vishvanath
Cakravarti Thakur's Sarartha-darsini, there in the middle of a Virginia Department of
Transportation rest stop. Suddenly the atmosphere was again transformed.
He explained janmadyasya as Adi-rasa, the madhurya-rasa, comes from Srimati Radhika.
Madhurya-rasa is considered the original rasa (Adi-rasa) because in it are the qualities of all
other rasas. Srimati Radhika is the source of that Adi-rasa, and the Bhagavatam is really centered
around glorifying Her. In all other Puranas Krsna is glorified directly or indirectly, but in the
Bhagavatam Srimati Radhika is glorified.
Krsna, who is svarat or independent, is therefore controlled by Srimati Radhika, the source of
madhurya-rasa. Anvayad itaratah: normally understood as direct and indirect, here it means both

in union and in separation from Krsna. There is always separation and then union. It is in
separation that the mood is greatly intensified.
Then he explained tejo-vari-mrdam as tejah indicating Srimati Radhika as Krsna's internal
energy. Again I must apologize for giving such a partial and fuzzy account of such an incredible,
mind-blowing infusion of Hari-katha from my siksa-guru. I can only lament my inability to
properly convey these things.
I had a question later as we were driving. "If the gopis' knowledge of Krsna's opulence (aisvaryajnana) is covered, how are they able to praise Him in stanzas such as tava-kathamrtam?" The
entire verse and the conventional translation is
tava kathamrtam tapta-jivanam
kavibhir iditam kalmasapaham
sravana-mangalam srimad-atatam
bhuvi grnanti te bhuri-da janah
Your topics are nectar for the living entities being scorched by the
fire of material existence. Narrated by poetic sages, they are full of
beauty and vanquish all sin. These topics are auspicious to hear,
and those who accept [and distribute] them to others are the most
munificent personalities.

"There is no aisvarya-jnana here." He explained the entire verse according to Srila Visvanatha
Cakravarti. "Not tava katha amrtam, but tava katha mrtam - Your topics are deadly. Those who
hear Hari-katha, they are giving up family life and causing suffering to wife, children, family,
friends. So Your topics are poison. Then tapta-jivanam - you are burning our hearts. Bhuri-dah instead of munificent, this is greatly cutting, like with a knife. These sages are very expert at
cutting all attachments with these topics and causing great suffering."
Finally we arrived around 7:45 in the evening to a small but enthusiastic group of devotees. This
time Gurudeva spoke again on the topic of akhanda-guru-tattva, or the understanding of the
undivided principle of the spiritual master.
Sunday, June 22
Initiations And Departure
On the morning walk Gurudeva granted special mercy to my wife in allowing her to come along.
Normally the ladies are not allowed on morning walks, but she had a question she wanted to ask.
She had worshipped Lord Rama since her childhood and had found it very difficult to give up
that attachment. Despite explanations that "we worship Krsna as the original Personality of
Godhead," some disturbance - not really doubt, but a little disturbance - remained in properly
understanding this.
Gurudeva answered in such a simple but wonderful way, and again I must apologize for not
giving a more complete account. He described how he was born in a Sri Vaisnava family where

they worshipped Lord Rama, and how he had met his Guru Maharaja and begun to chant 10
lakhs (64 rounds) daily, then after some time left his family life and government service.
He described how Lord Rama is worshipped as the master. The nature of the master/servant
relationship is that at any time the master may abandon the servant for a higher cause, as Lord
Rama demonstrated when he honored his father's promise by accepting banishment to the forest.
But Lord Krsna never abandons His devotees. Therefore in our Gaudiya line we worship in the
line of Vraja-bhakti, following in the footsteps of the cowherd damsels of Vraja, always
meditating on Krsna as our beloved.
Three devotees who had formerly been initiated by Kirtanananda received initiation from
Gurudeva, and Navina brahmacari performed the agni-hotram in the back yard. Afterward
Gurudeva answered questions in the living room, sitting on the sofa as he had done previously.
One devotee said, "I have completely lost faith in my guru."
Gurudeva asked, "Is he still following?"
"Yes," the devotee answered.
"Then you can take siksa, but must always honor your diksa-guru," Gurudeva replied.
"Sometimes the siksa relationship becomes more significant, but we always give special respect
to the one who first gave us Krsna consciousness."
I was struck not only by the wonderful way in which Gurudeva confirmed, despite all the illmotivated criticism, his respect for all other Vaisnavas, but the wonderful way in which he
explained how one takes siksa from another Vaisnava while maintaining special respect for one's
diksa-guru.
My 13-year old daughter decided she wanted harinama initiation. So Gurudeva called me in to
see him. "Your daughter has asked to take initiation but I must ask for your blessing."
I was surprised. "Gurudeva, how can there be any question?" He certainly didn't need to ask my
permission.
"The father and mother are the first guru of the child," he explained. So of course I agreed. He
allowed me to remain to hear the inspiring way he instructed this young devotee in her sadhana.
Her mother and I had previously encouraged her to chant but never forced the issue, as we
wanted her to take up serious spiritual practices when she had the desire. But now Gurudeva very
expertly, simply, innocently, and with the highest understanding gave such inspiration to this
young devotee. I was reminded of how Srila Prabhupada gave Krsna book to us in the early days
of the movement. Although it contains elevated topics, because it is presented so purely it is the
most powerful means of purifying the beastlike western mentality.
She later mentioned to a devotee friend that she was chanting 16 rounds. Her teenage friend
replied, "Oh, isn't that a terrible nuisance?"
Soon afterward it was time to leave for the airport. I felt totally overwhelmed with the amount of
mercy I had received. Gurudeva summed it up without my having said anything. With an
affectionate smile, he said, "I have come here just for you and your family." I was at a loss for
words. I had worked hard to offer Srila Gurudeva's association to as many devotees as possible. I
had mentioned to him that I had canvassed mostly amongst devotees living outside, many of

whom did not follow strictly anymore. "It is for this reason I have come," he had said. So I took
this statement simply at face value, that Gurudeva was being especially merciful to me and my
family members. I didn't mind; after all, what hope would I have of ever attaining the service of
the Divine Couple without the mercy of the pure devotees?
So, my dear Vaisnavas, there are many things I have surely omitted and thereby committed some
offense. I may have misremembered other things, or gotten parts wrong, but I pray that you will
be merciful to me and accept whatever is relishable.
Vaisnava dasaanudasa,
Agrahya dasa