Person Paper

Taelar Sandoval
Salt Lake Community College
Psychology 1100
Dr. Pamela Lemons

11/11/2016

Chapter 1
My parents always wanted a baby (badly). So badly, in fact that they went to
great lengths to conceive my brother and I. Growing up I could always see how
happy my parents were to have my brother and I, they were constantly at our sides
and encouraging our whole life. I was a lucky kid to grow up with parents like mine.
Growing up is always awkward, but when you know you are loved, and I mean really
loved, it makes it just a little bit less exacerbating.
My mom struggled in high school, she was always in and out of detention and
she didnt ever get extremely good grades. My dad also struggled, but in a different
way. He grew up in a home with several brothers who were involved in gangs and he
was in trouble pretty often. Once my parents had met, they began to improve their
lives little by little. They still didnt get the best grades and they still got detention,
but neither of them were on especially bad paths after they had met. They were a
couple for a few years when they finally decided to move in together. Once they did
that, they each took better jobs to support their new life style. My mom worked at
American Express and my dad worked at Discover card. My parents are both
Mexican, but my mother is also half Armenian. Growing up, they came from middle
class families. They met at Hunter high school and both grew up in West Valley.
My mom always wanted a baby, it was highly important to her. In fact, she
was dating my father when she had announced to her close family that she was
going to intentionally get pregnant before being married. She wanted a baby at that
time, but was not ready to be married. My grandparents did not love the idea, but
they knew there was little they could do to stop her and they offered their support
to her and her wishes. After announcing this, my mom began trying to conceive, but

she had an extremely difficult time doing so. She went to see fertility doctors who
said she had a very low chance of becoming pregnant and carrying out a successful
birth due to the shape of her uterus. My mother was devastated, but she was also
determined. My parents continued their efforts to conceive, this went on for about
six years with no luck. They continued on with their relationship, and eventually my
dad was ready to be married to my mom. He proposed to her, and she accepted.
They were happily married, but my mom was still very unhappy that she had no
success in becoming pregnant. My parents often discussed their options; from
adoption to artificial insemination, my parents were determined to raise children
together. They continued their visits to the fertility clinic, and they were soon
blessed with twins. My brother and I were finally conceived and my mother was
thrilled. She announced her pregnancy to the family on mothers day by wearing a
shirt reading double trouble. The whole family was very excited and supportive.
I am a dizygotic twin, meaning that my brother and I formed by two separate
ova that were fertilized by two separate sperm, at roughly the same time; fraternal
twins (Berger, Chapter 2, p.54). My mother had a healthy pregnancy, never
exhibiting any for-seeable complications. Each of the three developmental stages
(Germinal, Embryonic, and Fetal) had gone by well, and now we were nearing the
fourth stage, birth. We had been carried to term, and my mother was induced. At
the time of birth, my mother delivered two seemingly perfectly healthy babies, one
boy and one girl. My name is Ariez and my brothers name is Santana. We were
delivered vaginally, no need for a cesarean-section; my family was somewhat
worried that that may have been the case due to the increase of C-sections
throughout the United States of 10% from 1999-2009, and a 22% increase in the
state that we were born in (Menacker & Hamilton, 2010 Chapter 2, p. 65).

My brother and I thrived during infancy. We developed within the norm: the
average or standard measurement calculated from the measurements of many
individuals within a specific group or population. Our motor skills caught on a bit
earlier than that of the majority of other developing infants within our population.
For example, I began walking well at 13 months, and my brother began to pull to
stand at 9 months. My mom always said that we would encourage one another
being that we spent so much time together, we were very close. When one of us
met a milestone, the other was excited to be able to get to that point as well. My
mother tried her very best to breastfeed both myself and my brother, and while she
did maintain this for some time, she eventually had to stop because she could not
produce enough milk for the both of us. She wished to continue breastfeeding
because of all of its benefits. Human milk is ideal and highly beneficial for growing
children because it is always sterile, at body temperature, and rich in iron and many
vitamins (Drover, et al 2009, Berger chapter 3, p. 109). Since my mother could not
continue to breastfeed the both of us, we maintained formula-feeding, while this
was not my mothers first decision, we did continue to be healthy and develop
normally.
Once language started to develop for my brother and I, it really never
stopped. From the beginning we would participate in collective babbling back and
forth. Babbling consisting of the extended repetition of certain syllables, and
between 6 and 9 months, this was all my brother and I would do. Wed be in our
swings across from one another babbling back and forth, probably annoying
everyone in our wake. Not much had changed since we had gotten to our first
words, either. We would yell holophrases, or single words that express a complete
and meaningful though back and forth very often. My mom told me that my favorite

things to say were No and Down which demonstrated my understanding of my

surroundings while also expressing my meaningful response using only one word
(Berger, Chapter 3 p. 121).
As I developed further, my parents told me that I became somewhat hard to
handle, always running around and trying new things by myself. This must have
been around 18 months old, most likely going through psychosocial development,
specifically, Eriksons Autonomy vs Shame and Doubt being where toddlers crave
self-rule over their own actions and bodies. If this is not achieved, shame and doubt
often ensue. (Berger, Chapter 4, p. 150) While going through this stage, my parents
say Id often run around without their knowledge which could often be nerve
racking. This stage is referred to by many as the terrible twos because children
defy their parents to exercise some form of autonomy. As we got older, my brother
and I experienced a lot of extrinsic motivation where we would often do things to
impress our parents; sometimes to steal the show, so to say by gaining the
attention of our parents and others around us. Other times, it was to gain praise or
gifts. Our parents often talked of how we would sort of compete around this stage in
our development to gain more than the other had. (Berger, Chapter 6 p. 207)
Growing up with a twin, it was never hard to find a playmate, but the older
we got, the more different we became. The activities we wanted to participate in
differed quite a bit, so we would often count on one another as playmates, but were
always excited to surround ourselves with peers that had the same motivation. The
time where my brother and I most sought other playmates was when we
experienced the fifth stage of play: Cooperative play. This is where children play
together, creating dramas and taking turns. I think this must have been because
what I wanted to dramatize, was not the same thing my brother wanted to. This

stage became important for us in the sense that it allowed us to look outside one
another to make external associations with new people, this is an important step in
social development. (Berger, chapter 6, p 213) Our parents demonstrated the
authoritative parenting style. This is when parents set limits, but also demonstrate
flexibility. They encourage maturity and growth and often listen and forgive when
we might have done something that they didnt like. They did punish us, but more
often than not, we would have long talks about why what we did way wrong and
how to improve it. I liked this parenting style because it allowed me to see why what
I did was wrong while being able to express my own reasoning without fear of being
reprimanded for my need to explain myself. I started to notice the differing
parenting styles of my friends families and became even more appreciative of my
parents style. I noted as I grew up that my friends with permissive parents would
lack self-control in many ways, particularly when dealing with emotions. While my
friends with authoritarian parents were often closed off in their relationships with
their parents and were often self-doubting and lacked the ability see when
something was not their fault, or that they had no control over. I often noted that
these friends would internalize everything and anything that went wrong and blame
themselves. (Berger, Chapter 6 p. 217)
If you recall, I had mentioned that my brother and I were born seemingly
perfectly healthy. We had lived the first 5 years of our life without any sort of
indication that either of us were unhealthy in any sense, but my brother at the age
of 5 did exhibit some strange symptoms including seizures. Once we had visited the
doctor, we found that our familial line carries a rare genetic disorder that my
brother had been exhibiting. This disorder is called Cavernous Hemangioma, which
presents as an irregular cluster of blood vessels formed in the brain. This was a big

scare for my family, but we did end up getting my brother treatment for this and his
symptoms have subsided with the help of anticonvulsant medication. Because we
are not identical (or monozygotic) twins, we share half of our DNA. So, I did not
exhibit the same symptoms as my brother does. This disorder is a single-gene
disorder, meaning that only one gene is responsible for the abnormality. Most of the
known single-gene disorders are dominant, which means that they will be passed
down the family line. Half of the offspring from a parent with the dominant gene for
the disorder will also have the disorder expressed in their phenotype (Berger
chapter 2 p. 71). I do not exhibit the genetic disorder in my phenotype, although I
do carry it in my genotype, whereas my brother carries it in his phenotype. This is
something that I will always need to be conscious of, especially when I start my own
family due to the fact that it is passed down genetically. One thing that we found
out when pursuing treatment for Santana was that the Corpus Callosum is what
allows for communication between the two hemispheres of the brain, Santanas
medication would actually slow this activity and minimize the function of the corpus
callosum to lessen the ability for the brain to cause a seizure. (Berger, Chapter 5, p.
179)
By the time I was about 10, in my middle childhood phase, I had a bit of a
hard time making friends with other kids my age. I was quite shy, and it didnt make
for an easy time making friends. This is often referred to as withdrawn-rejected,
wherein someone is rejected by their peers due to timid, withdrawn and anxious
behavior (Berger, Chapter 8 p. 305). I was often the kid who sat in the back corner
and watched other kids socialize. I wanted to be a part of it, but I didnt know how
to initiate contact with my peers, and the more it became obvious that I wanted to
be a part of it, the more I felt like I had been pushed away by my peers. Because of

the rejection I felt in my middle childhood, I was somewhat insecure when continued
development. I made some strides in regards to social interactions, but I dont think
I was over the feeling of being rejected by the time Id entered adolescence. I had
started puberty early compared to my peers. I remember noticing differences far
before any of my friends had started going through these changes. This only made
me feel worse about myself. I had gained a lot of weight in my hips and thighs, not
to mention the development of breasts. I remember noticing that people treated me
differently, and I became known as the girl with the boobs. I was pretty young, so
this was quite uncomfortable for me. It is said to be common for girls that go
through early puberty like myself tend to be more insecure with lower self-esteem,
poorer body image, and more depression (Compian et al., 2009, Berger Chapter 9 p.
325). This is exactly how I felt at this stage in my life. It seemed that I would never
move on from the social rejection that I felt all those years ago as a child; watching
my peers play while being too shy to interject. Once I had graduated high school
though, I had thrived significantly. I graduated with honors, and had plenty of
support from family and a small group of friends that I had connected with as I met
people with similar interests. I suppose all of the awkward things I went through
growing up along with the way my parents raised me ended up being within my
favor when entering adulthood.

Chapter 2

As I further developed, I found myself longing for something, but I wasnt

completely sure about what that was. There was something in my life that I was
missing, and I just could not figure out what this missing piece was. I had been in
long term relationships as often as I could and I realize now that it was most likely
my true self that I was looking for. In this chapter we will discuss the trials of coming
of age.
Identity. This is a hard concept to learn right away, it really takes a great
amount of time to fully understand all of the aspects of identity, as many of them
come with real life experiences. As a young adult, I was stuck in a dilemma which
according to Erickson, is called Identity versus role confusion. This is the fifth stage
of development according to his theory. As I was often caught up in a long term
relationship, I often found myself asking who I really was. I could not decipher if I
was doing things because I wanted to or if it was really because of who I was
around. My drives were unclear and my decision making was too often centered
around other people and less around myself. I longed for Identity achievement
which is the attainment of identity, or the point in which I could understand that I
was a unique person with a specific identity formed by past experiences and future
plans. (Berger, 2014 Chapter 10, p. 356) My problems became more and more
apparent as I grew older, and I came to terms with the fact that I was stuck in this
identity confusion or lack of understanding on what my true identity was.
Once I realized these things in my life, I knew something needed to change. I
started to become more and more interested in politics and dedicated myself to
school and work. This was the process of me trying to find the things that I
attributed to my identity. I wanted to expand on all of the things that I knew I
already identified with so that I could further expand my understanding of my

identity. I dont know exactly why politics was one of the first things I turned to in
search for my identity, maybe its because I was not raised in a religion, so many
people have a religious identity where I did not. Having a political identity
connected me to society and allowed me to express my thoughts on ethical
dilemmas as well as understanding more about the world I lived in. I grew up in a
household that was very one way when it came to politics, so I followed suit in many
ways, being very like-minded with my parents, but I paid much more attention to
the details of politics than they ever had, and because this was the case, I did differ
on certain aspects of politics than the rest of my family. Another outlet for identity
was my vocational identity. I wanted to really achieve something for myself and
excel at something that I was passionate about. It was also important for me as a
young adult to become more self-sufficient. Working at a job was a perfect outlet for
this because I finally got to learn about the things that I was passionate about while
not having to rely on anyone else for money. While this was a good path in my
search for identity, I think I may have overdone it for the first little while. While
working is a good path to self-sufficiency, there is a threshold that a young person
must be careful of. I worked 40 hours a week and was taking 16 credit hours in
college, and I about had a mental breakdown. I considered dropping out of school to
do well at my job, and I found myself to become doubtful that I could gain a fulfilling
career. I found myself in an all new dilemma wherein I had to quit an opportunistic
job to allow myself to continue my higher education. This took a heavy toll on me
for a few semesters, trying to snap back to having school be my first priority was
somewhat challenging.
After straightening out my identity confusion, I found myself to reach some of
my goals such as doing better in school and gaining a degree in a career field that I

was passionate about. But after attaining my degree and starting in my new career,
I found myself to be stuck again at yet another of Ericksons stages. Intimacy versus
isolation. I was happy with where my life was going, but I found myself thinking
whats all of this if I cant share it with anyone? I wanted a partner in my life.
Someone to come home and share my thoughts with. If I was not able to share a
certain level of commitment with another person, I risked suffering profound
loneliness and isolation (Berger, 2014 Chapter 11 p. 415). After finally
understanding my own identity, I was ready to share this with another person who
appreciated it as much as I did. Once I did find that special someone to share my
life with, we decided to cohabitate, which is an arrangement in which a couple live
together in a committed romantic relationship, but are not married. Interestingly, in
the U.S. cohabitation is increasing while marriage is decreasing. Whether this has to
do with testing compatibility prior to marriage or saving money, the numbers are
rising for young adults who live together and maintain intimate relationships, but do
not necessarily have plans to soon be married (Berger, 2014 Chapter 11 p. 419).
As I developed passed the stage of young adult and grew ever closer to an
aging adult, I started to notice subtle physical changes, which formally be known as
senescence. This is a natural decline that occurs with age, but the rate of decline is
highly variable between persons (Berger, 2014 Chapter 12 p. 428). Aside from the
physical aging that was going on, mentally I was declining as well. Not significantly,
but I would notice minor things. My reaction times were slower, my memory was
somewhat impaired, and critical thinking took a bit longer than usual. This is
another effect that aging has; just like every other part of the body, the brain slows
with age. Neurons fire more slowly, and messages sent from an axon of one neuron
are not picked up as quickly from dendrites of other neurons (Berger, 2014 Chapter

12 p. 432). There are several distinct types of intelligence that all work together.
When mine started to diminish I recall the recall was typically the first to go.
As I approached my 40s at a rate far too fast for my liking, I started to feel a
sense of panic. This is what people refer to as the mid-life crisis. This is where an
individual goes through a period of unusually high anxiety, radical self-examination,
and sudden transformation (Berger 2014, Chapter 13 p. 465). When going through
this stage, I started to ask if what I had done with my life was truly what I wanted to
do with my life, and if not how I could change that. I found that I was unhappy with
the lack of friendship that I had in my life, so I joined a few clubs and eventually
found a stable group of friends that I could maintain relationships with as we aged
together. Gaining these friends helped me significantly to improve my mental health
and occupy my free time with activities I enjoyed and people that I liked spending
that quality time with. If I continued on without having friendships I would have
likely suffered from health problems and poor habits, as many friends encourage
changes in unhealthy behavior (Couzin, 2009 Berger p. 470).
Once I reached late adulthood, my memory further deteriorated and we
found that I had dementia, an irreversible loss of intellectual functioning caused
naturally by organic brain damage (Berger, 2014 Chapter 14 p. 519). My suffering
dementia put a hardship on my family as well as myself. My family was made to reintroduce themselves to me somewhat often, which could not have been easy on
them. The type of dementia I got is called vascular dementia; this is dementia
caused by a stroke which temporarily obstructs a blood vessel in the brain, thus
reducing oxygen and destroying a part of the brain (Berger, 2014 Chapter 14
p.521). Because of my illness, my family decided to put me into an elderly living
community, which I was not happy about.

As time went by in the elderly living community, I started to feel inspired.

Regardless of my dementia, I found myself to be determined to be more creative
and to interact with my fellow residents, and that I did. I found a new sense of
understanding in the many aspects of life. Spiritually, Id never been more aware.
And I was finally maintaining some sort of creative identity. Id often ask the nurses
to walk me out to a beautiful place in the home where I could see the beauties of
nature and I would paint, I dont know if I had ever been more pleased with such a
simple task before, but this was my happy place. I feel that I reached Selfactualization which is the final stage in the hierarchy of needs. This is marked by
the new found understanding of creativity, spirituality, and philosophy (Berger,
2014 Chapter 14 p. 527). It may have been that I hadnt met all of the mentioned
criteria, but I felt as though I had reached something spectacular that can only be
reached after the trials of aging and life experience. I felt that I had gained a new
sense of wisdom that I had never tapped into before.
After reaching this stage, I started thinking; Id be okay to leave behind all of
the things I have been a part of. They fill my heart with overwhelming joy and I
know that I have made a difference to those around me. I look back and review my
wonderful life with a smile on my face, knowing that when my time comes, I will be
ready. I only hope that many others may also reach this stage in their lives before
they must go. It really is something magnificent when you can look back on all
youve done and be proud of all of it. Fully understanding that the things you have
done have positively impacted others and created such a great life for yourself. And
I know that I may not remember all of these things in the morning, as many times I
have forgotten, but I have decided that it is important to write this down in a
memoir for those who care to read it. It truly is something worth sharing.

References:

Berger, Kathleen Stassen. Invitation to the Life Span. New York: Worth, 2010. N. pag. Print.