MAY 2010

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THOUGHT | CONVERSATION | ACTION

Self Consideration
The Personal Thoughts of Tim Valentine

1 | PROVOKE
 Just Imagine | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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Just imagine if the money that’s spent on war and

weapons of mass destruction and distraction was If you could just imagine what could be when
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used to save lives and educate. How great a
country this would be?
Just imagine if the energy that’s spent on hate,
discrimination of any form and misinformation
was invested in love and tolerance. How
powerful we would be?
Just imagine if the time that’s spent towards trying
to be heard and seen was allocated towards
listening and considering. How much would we
know?
Just imagine if the fear we demonstrate of others
was expressed by our acceptance of them for
who they are and not what they are. How would
that affect your perceptions?
you practice consideration of others, life begins to
become easy. You become attracted to people,
not in some perverted sense, but by allowing
yourself to simply see the face of God within
them. Even those who choose to believe that He
doesn't exist. You see the person for who they are
more than what they are. So race, ethnicity,
religion, gender, sexuality and even political
affiliations becomes non-factors because you see
who they are, not what they are.
The challenge is getting others to see that for
themselves.

I know this may be far fetched, but imagine if we

treated people as we wanted to be treated. How
secure our relationships would be?

You can not become someone’s teacher until you

first become their student. In order to correct
something you must understand how it thinks,
how it learned what it thinks and how it
processes what it thinks. May seem like a lot of
work, but it's commonly known as consideration.

I ask that you strive daily to be more willing to

listen than you are to speak, because it is how
you learn what to say and/or how to say the
message that you want to deliver.

Just imagine if you considered others beyond

yourself.

When you think of the possibilities, nothing is

impossible.

When someone sarcastically tells you,"Keep

dreaming". Just respond back by saying, thank
you, I will.

I say this last thought more for myself, but hope

someone can get something from it as well.

Everyone will not see or embrace your vision of

change towards a better future, because they are
blinded by the stagnated views of today.
Considering others beyond yourself is easier said
than done, but it can be done.
 Pray Without Ceasing | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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There are times in life when it just seems

impossible. It’s those times when everyone calls
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on you, but you have no one to call on. The bills

show up, but the money doesn’t. You get up early
to get ahead and go to bed late still with more to
do.

Life becomes overwhelming. You have your own

things to deal with. We are more eager to seek
the comfort in our own selfishness and
circumstances that we miss the opportunity it
presents.

You may feel like you’re all alone in the crowded

room of life, but it is just the occasion we
mistakenly allow our adversary to talk us into or
should I say out of what was meant to be. Our
thoughts, ideas and suggestions is the gateway to
our mind and our mind is what controls our
perceptions. Our perceptions are dependent on
context. What you perceive is often how you
think. What you think is what motivates you.
What motivates you is what you do.

We get so busy with the problem that we forget

that God is bigger than our problems. So we try
to do what we can to fix it ourselves. We are
arrogant enough to do so without even
considering God for guidance.

So in conclusion I offer this for you to think

about.

Pray. But if you want your prayer to mean

something to God, it has to mean everything to
you. Sometimes life will become sourer or bitter,
but when life goes bad, pray with the confidence
of faith that God is still good. If he’s “as sweet as
I know” then there’s little reason for you to be
bitter.

Prayer is just a conversation with God. It doesn’t

need to be long or drawn out, it can be a 140
characters or less if you have faith. :D Because
it’s not about the words you say, but what those
words mean to you. I don’t know who else this is
for, but I just felt like sharing.

Pray without ceasing is just encouraging you

develop a relationship with God beyond the
words. Everyone may not agree with you, but
remember who you're talking to. Your
conversation is with God.
 Where Are You Going? | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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When you consider the core of what divides us
it’s normally something simple. We have been
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conditioned to categorize, label or separate
ourselves in order to receive attention. It makes
us easier targets and attacks on our
consciousness easier because we internalize that
one is somehow better than another in some way.
We hear of the Civil Rights Movement, Women’s
Movement, Prosperity Movement, the Progressive
Movement, even the Tea Party Movement. We
have so many movements, but no one is asking
where are we going?
Let me make it easier to understand. We’re going
in ever direction except forward together.
I have no problem with a movement, but when
we become so chopped and divided that we take
on a separate, but equal mentality with all
deliberate speed we forget that we are all one
who will all arrive at the same place in life one
day.
I could go further, but will let you finish this
thought in your own words. I would like to end
with a quote that sticks with me by Dr. Martin
Luther King, Jr. as illustrated in ” A Letter from a
Birmingham Jail.” I find this as a philosophical
principal we all should consider.
“I cannot sit idly by in Atlanta and not be
concerned about what happens in
Birmingham. Injustice anywhere is a threat to
justice everywhere. We are caught in an
inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a
single garment of destiny. Whatever affects
one directly, affects all indirectly. Never
again can we afford to live with the narrow,
provincial "outside agitator" idea. Anyone
who lives inside the United States can never
be considered an outsider anywhere within
its bounds.”
Where are you going?
 Conservative Conundrum | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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The inspiration of this comes from reports over oppositions. By pushing the Real Republicans out
the past several months that tells the story of the door, you set them up to push back against
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Republicans either being forced out of the GOP
for the bogus reasons of not being conservative
enough as defined by Ultra-Conservatives and
their Tea Party.
This continues to be the problem I've been trying
to explain to Republicans for the longest and they
still refuse to comprehend the dead end political
street they're on. The more you drive out
Republicans who you think are not conservative
enough, the smaller and weaker the GOP will
become.
These type of actions essentially make the
Democrats stronger, because the moderates you
drive away also drives away conservative
independent voters as well. That leads them with
four choices, well three, the fourth is unlikely
giving the political circumstances.
1. Become a Conservative Independent
who votes for the Independent or
Democrat running for office.
2. Become a Conservative Democrat,
which strengthens the Democratic Party
in areas where they were weak.
Specifically, in conservative and rural
districts.
you in one way or the other.
As a Democrat, I say keep up the good work.
Seriously, thank you. Your static opposition to
everything helps me make the case for why any
reasonable person shouldn't collaborate or
affiliate with Republicans and its subsidiaries.
Because all I have to do is let you do what you do
and coral them to follow a Democratic agenda or
at least reject the Republican one.
Either way, a conservative conundrum means an
easier path to a progressive win. You may not like
what I have to say, but think about what I'm
actually saying.
References & Inspirations
Yahoo News - 05/08/10 "US Sen. Bennett faces
conservative test in Utah"
CBS News - 04/28/10 "Charlie Crist Expected to Run
as an Independent in Florida Senate Race"
The Huffington Post - 11/20/09 "John McCain Could
Lose Senate Primary To Tea Party Supporter"

3. Not vote at all. This essentially

strengthens the Democrats, because they
are disenfranchised Republicans who
will now refuse to vote for the
Republican candidate. Democrats didn't
factor in their support in the first place
given the voters electoral record of not
voting for them. This weakens the GOP.

4. I would add this one, but unlikely. They

could just vote for the Republican/Tea
Party candidate who holds more extreme
conservative views than them, but that
will mean they would have to once
again vote against their own interests.

Republicans, Conservatives, Tea Party folks can be

upset with me if you want. If you consider what
I've written you will see that I'm not coming
against you, but warning you of what you're
doing. When it's all said and done, your actions
is weakening your party and strengthening your
 Our Ethnic Perceptions | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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What is your definition of ethnic studies?

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I believe this is a good question for everyone,

because we often do not consider our own race
as an ethnic group.

I use this example for clarity and consideration. I

use this as an example to emphasis our social
perceptions and what so many have been taught.
This question is designed to get everyone to
consider themselves as they consider others.

Isn't being Caucasian/White an ethnic group, just

like any other group?

When we do not consider who we are we tend

not to consider others for who they are and
perceive others with a different standard than we
give ourselves. This makes for biases to enter. So if
we got rid of ethnic studies, like Arizona is now
proposing in their state, wouldn't that mean
getting rid of all of our history?

This actually isn’t a question of politics, but your

own personal policy about inclusion.
 What If God Held a Grudge | Written By: Timothy Valentine
PAGE 7
What if God held a grudge?
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Could you just imagine the affects it would have
on life itself? It would be like we, meaning
mankind were God.
I want to keep it simple, so I will not get too deep
into Genesis, but encourage you to study it for
yourself. As the name itself is defines what it is;
it's the beginning of comprehension of the Word
of God.
Understanding why we’re not God and the
potential hell that could have been if we were
begins when you examine what is written and
consider the possibilities of what is not written. I
reference Genesis 3, “The Fall of Man”, but one
can go beyond this if you choose.
When I consider what if God held a grudge, I
would have to conclude that He would be acting
like many of us do today, both in and out of
church. If it wasn’t for his grace, tolerance and
mercy that is given to us each day, can you
imagine where we would be?
Aren’t you grateful that God doesn’t hold
grudges?
So why should we hold a grudge, if the one we
say we are a child of doesn’t?
One thing that comes to mind when I find myself
leaning towards grudge instead of forgiveness,
acceptance or tolerance is mercy.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the
days of my life, when I strive to be obedient,
concerned about others and demonstrate
diligence in His will.
What if God held a grudge?
Man, I don’t even want to know what my life
would be. All I know it would be Hell.
 By The Power Invested in M.E. | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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Within each of us is a person who wars to get As people we often don’t realize that we have
out. The challenge is determining who or what is been given free will. Whether we choose to
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within us that seeks its freedom. properly exercise it or not, that too is our choice.

How do I have to be in order for you to be free?
A better question I believe would be what can we
do that honors everyone in order for us to
accomplish true freedom?
The power that’s invested in your Mental
Existence is enough power to make both war and
peace, which one do you choose?

What makes for peace?

When we look at our conflicts, whether in terms

of global, nationally, regionally, locally,
spiritually, politically, inter-personally and within
ourselves it all derives from our own personal
war within to be acknowledged, respected,
considered and valued. To make it plain, it’s a
quest to be human.

If it means giving up what makes a person give up

what makes them comfortable they are opposed
to doing.

Most people want peace, but are unwilling to

make peace, unwilling to create peace, unwilling
to be exposed to the contradiction that lends you
to fight for peace.

How do I have to be in order for you to be free?

The mentality is that I want what you have always

had, whether you recognized or respected it or
not. Give it to me.

“Power concedes nothing without a demand. It

never did and it never will.” – Frederick Douglass

Power is not always in what we see someone else

may have. We must consider what it took for
them to get it first, but more than that we must
consider what they have to do to keep it. The
power may not be in what we see, but in what
we think we don’t have. The more popular you
are, the wealthier you become, and the more
influence you have on people the less freedom
you have.

There are so many things and people who tell us

that we’re free, but how free are you when you
hate?
 Are You Happy Now? | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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As men, one of the hardest things for us to do is
to listen to a problem without trying to figure out
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a way to resolve it.
Can I get an Amen?
We just want to make life simple, easy or fun.
Why complicate it with a problem? So when we
are presented with a problem or discover a
problem we try to fix it as quickly as possible.
Boom, there you go, all done, no more problem.
Are you happy now?
Now I can only say this by my own observations,
conversations and experiences with women, so I
would need at least two or more women to verify
what I’m about to say. I’m sure you will correct
me if I’m wrong.
We try to fix problems for the most part due to
our schizophrenic propensity for peace. I say
schizophrenic because the vast majority of the
problems in the world if researched was likely
caused by some man with a problem. Whenever
it comes to a woman for some reason we want to
hurry up and solve it.
Why?
In all sincerity, often we just don’t want to see
you unhappy. Whenever there a woman
unhappy in some way there tends to be a
frustrated, aggravated or annoyed man nearby. So
we do all we can to basically answer this
question.
Are you happy now?
We don’t mean any harm if we are immature
enough to verbally ask you that. We only want
some type of confirmation that we fixed what
was wrong.
As men we learn what to say for the most part to
get what we want. No it’s not always sex.
As we become more experienced in our
relationships we learn what to say and how to say
it. As we mature in our relationships and
personally we learn what to say, how to say it and
when to say it? But it doesn’t stop there. We have
to learn how to say what needs to be said, know
how to translate it into “Woman” and why we
should say it?
 Are You Happy Now? (Continued) | Written By: Timothy Valentine
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Now women, please tell me am I right? Communication is not always about words, but
the connection. The lack of communication is not
What I believe that’s missed sometimes and I do it always about a lack of words, but not knowing
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as well is knowing when not to fix anything and
just listen. When you are actually listening to
what she’s really saying you can discern whether
she wants you to fix it or just listen and let her fix
it herself in her own way. So we must learn
patience.
As men we frustrate women and they frustrate us.
This is why men can remain friends with less
conflict longer. Women can be friends with
women, but how often do you get upset with
your friend? How long does it take you to get
over it? Then ask a guy the same question.
what to say, how to say it or when to say it.
Communication is subtle. It’s not a joke, but it is
in a way because it requires timing and patience
to get it right.
Men and Women are crazy, but you don’t need to
become a psychologist to know this. Perhaps
that’s why I’m working to become one, to confirm
that I’m not crazy. Just so I don’t have to ask the
question, are you happy now :)

If we share a problem with another man we

typically are seeking an answer or ideas for a
solution. We don’t want to talk about it. We want
it done so we can do something else. We don’t
have time for all that. All we want to know is the
problem, facts, important details, how much time
we got, answer and we’re done.

Can I get an Amen from the men?

You always hear women say that it's the little

things that are important. Now I know that’s not
always true, but for the most part it is.

As I’ve matured the one thing I’ve tried to share

with men is that most women live much of their
lives in their heads. Unfortunately, we do too, but
that’s a conversation for another day.

Learning to listen is difficult for most of us

because we all want to be heard, seen and
acknowledged. We tend to lack the patience and
consideration that’s required to listen.

Being with them is essential to fostering and

maintaining a stable, enduring, enriched and
conscious relationship. Whether it is with a
friend, family or loved one seek understanding
and incorporate it into your interactions.

Be receptive to the kind of responsiveness many

women seek if you want them to be happy.

You want always make them happy, because it’s

always something. But we typically only care
most about your happiness with us.
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THOUGHT | CONVERSATION | ACTION

I thank and appreciate all who has taken the time to read
what I have to say. You continue to be the ones who provoke
thought, conversation and action by your comments,
commentary and on occasion, criticisms.

Either way it goes, it’s always good and the reason why I
am inspired to write. Thank you.

Please share your thoughts about what is written with

whomever you feel may appreciate or gain something from
it. Also, I would welcome your feedback as well. Simply
email me at timvalentine@ymail.com or you can send me a
tweet @timvalentine.

Consider Others Beyond Yourself,

Timothy A. Valentine