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The question you have asked is very complex.

You will have to understand a few

other things before you can understand what real authentic friendliness is.
The first is friendship. Friendship is love without any biological tones to it. It is not the
friendship that you understand ordinarily the boyfriend, the girlfriend. To use the
word friend in any way associated with biology is sheer stupidity. It is infatuation and
madness. You are being used by biology for reproduction purposes.
If you think you are in love, you are wrong; it is just hormonal attraction. Your
chemistry can be changed and your love will disappear. Just an injection of
hormones and a man can become a woman and a woman can become a man.
Friendship is love without any biological tones. It has become a rare phenomenon. It
used to be a great thing in the past, but a few great things in the past have
completely disappeared. It is a very strange thing that ugly things are stubborn, they
dont die easily; and beautiful things are very fragile, they die and disappear very
Today friendship is understood either in biological terms or in economic terms, or in
sociological terms in terms of acquaintance, a kind of acquaintance. But friendship
means that if the need arises you will be ready even to sacrifice yourself. Friendship
means that you have made somebody else more important than yourself; somebody
else has become more precious than you yourself. It is not a business. It is love in its

This friendship is possible even the way you are now. Even unconscious people can
have such a friendship. But if you start becoming more conscious of your being, then
friendship starts turning into friendliness. Friendliness has a wider connotation, a far
bigger sky.
Friendship is a small thing compared to friendliness. Friendship can be broken, the
friend can turn into an enemy. That possibility remains intrinsic in the very fact of
I am reminded of Machiavelli giving guidance to the princes of the world in his great
work, The Prince. One of his guidelines is, Never tell anything to your friend which
you would not be able to say to your enemy, because the person who is a friend
today may turn into an enemy tomorrow.
And the suggestion following that is, Never say anything against the enemy, because
the enemy can turn into a friend tomorrow. Then you will be very
embarrassed. Machiavelli is giving a very clear insight: that our ordinary love can
change into hate, our friendship can become enmity any moment. This is the
unconscious state of man where love is hiding hate just behind it, where you hate
the same person you love but you are not aware of it.
Friendliness becomes possible only when you are real, you are authentic, and you
are absolutely aware of your being. And out of this awareness, if love arises it will be
friendliness. Friendliness can never change into its opposite. Remember this as a
criterion, that the greatest values of life are only those which cannot change into their
opposite; in fact there is no opposite.
You are asking, What is real authentic friendliness?
It will need a great transformation in you to have a taste of friendliness. As you are,
friendliness is a faraway star. You can have a look at the faraway star, you can have
a certain intellectual understanding, but it will remain only an intellectual
understanding, not an existential taste.
Unless you have an existential taste of friendliness, it will be very difficult, almost
impossible to make a distinction between friendship and friendliness. Friendliness is
the purest thing you can conceive about love. It is so pure that you cannot even call
it a flower, you can only call it a fragrance which you can feel and experience, but
you cannot catch hold of. It is there, your nostrils are full of it, your being is
surrounded by it. You feel the vibe, but there is no way to catch hold of it; the
experience is so big and so vast and our hands are too small.

I said to you that your question is very complex, not because of the question, but
because of you. You are not yet at the point from where friendliness can become an
experience. Be real, be authentic and you will know the purest quality of love just a
fragrance of love surrounding you always. And that quality of the purest love is
friendliness. Friendship is addressed to someone, somebody is your friend.
Once Gautam Buddha was asked, Does the enlightened man have friends? and he
said, No. The questioner was shocked because he was thinking the man who is
enlightened must have the whole world as his friend.
But Gautam Buddha is right, whether you are shocked or not. When he says, The
enlightened man has no friends, he is saying he cannot have friends because he
cannot have enemies. They both come together. Friendliness he can have, but not
Friendliness is unfocused, unaddressed love. It is not any contract, spoken or
unspoken. It is not from one individual to another individual; it is from one individual
to the whole existence, of which man is only a small part, because trees are
included, animals are included, rivers are included, mountains are included, stars are
included. Everything is included in friendliness.
Friendliness is just the way of your being real and authentic; you start radiating it. It
comes on its own accord, you dont have to bring it. Whoever comes close to you will
feel the friendliness.
That does not mean that nobody will be your enemy. As far as you are concerned,
you will not be an enemy of anyone, because you are no more a friend to anyone.
But your height, your consciousness, your blissfulness, your silence, your peace will
annoy many, will irritate many, will make many, without understanding you, your
In fact the enlightened men have more enemies than the unenlightened. The
unenlightened may have a few enemies, a few friends. The enlightened men have
almost the whole world antagonistic towards them, because the blind people cannot
forgive the man who has eyes, and the ignorant cannot forgive one who knows. They
cannot feel love towards a man who has attained to his fulfillment, because their
egos are hurt.
Just the other day I received four letters from four different American prisons. All the
four prisoners are asking for sannyas. One American prisoner has been reading my
books. Since I was in that prison for one day, the authorities became interested, the

prisoners became interested, so they must have ordered my books. The prisoner
has been reading those books.
Although he is an American, he writes that Osho, reading your books, listening to
you on the television, and when you were in the prison for one day, I was also here.
He has been there for almost five years... It was a blissful experience for me and I
will never forget the day we were together in the same cell; it has been the most
important day of my life.
And I have been carrying something in me which I want to express to you. You have
not committed any sin. Of that I was absolutely certain the moment I saw you. But to
be innocent seems to be a greater crime than any other. And because you were
talked about on the radio, on the television, your books were read all over the
country, there came a moment when you were more important a figure than the
president of America. Thats what triggered the whole process of destroying your
commune, imprisoning you just to humiliate you.
I was surprised that a prisoner would have such a deep insight. He is saying People
like you are bound to be condemned, because even the greatest, most powerful
people look like pygmies before your consciousness and your height. It is your fault,
he is saying to me. If you were not so successful, you would have been ignored. If
your commune was not so successful, nobody would have bothered about you.
The enlightened man has no friends, no enemies, but only a pure love, unaddressed.
He is ready to pour into anybodys heart who is available. That is real authentic
But such a man will provoke many egos, will hurt those who think they are very
important and powerful people. The presidents and the queens and the prime
ministers and the kings will become immediately worried, concerned. A man who has
no power has suddenly become the focus of attention of the people, attracts more
people than the people who have power and money and prestige. Such a man
cannot be forgiven. He has to be punished whether he has committed any crime or
not. And a man of enlightenment cannot commit a crime; that is just a sheer
But to be innocent, to be friendly, to be loving for no reason at all, just to be yourself
is enough to trigger many egos against you. So when I say, The enlightened man
has no enemies, I mean that from his side he has no enemies. But from others side,
the greater his height, the more will be their antagonism against him, the more will be
the enmity, hatred, condemnation. This is how it has been happening for centuries.

Nirvano was just telling me the other day that the day I was fined four hundred
thousand dollars more than half a crore rupees knowing perfectly well that I dont
possess a single paisa, a single cent, the attorney who was working for Nirvano told
her, They have done it again.
She asked him, What are you saying? And he said,Yes, they have done it again.
They have again crucified Jesus, they have again punished a man who is utterly
innocent but his innocence hurts their egos.
Just an intellectual understanding will not be enough although it is good to have
some intellectual understanding, because that may help you move towards
existential experience. But only the experience will give you the full taste of the
tremendous sweetness, the beauty, the godliness and the truth of love.
Osho, Satyam Shivam Sundaram: Truth Godliness Beauty, Talk #10

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