1 Oct 13
PART IA
GENERAL LEARNING OUTCOME: Students who graduate from the NCOA
communicate rank appropriate tasks more effectively.
SUPPORTED COMPETENCIES/DIRECTIVES:
The Introduction to Managerial Communicator Assignments lesson supports the following
AF Institutional Competencies:
1. Enterprise Perspective Strategic Communication
2. Communicating Speaking and Writing
3. Communicating Active Listening
The Introduction to Managerial Communicator Assignments lesson provides the
information NCOs need to effectively execute their responsibilities outlined in AFI 362618, The Enlisted Force Structure.
TERMINAL COGNITIVE OBJECTIVE: Comprehend how effective interpersonal
communication impacts NCO, unit, and mission effectiveness.
TERMINAL COGNITIVE SAMPLES OF BEHAVIOR:
1. Summarize how effective interpersonal communication impacts the NCO, unit, and
mission effectiveness.
2. Give examples of how effective interpersonal communication impacts the NCO,
unit, and mission effectiveness.
3. Predict the impact of effective interpersonal communication on the NCO, unit, and
mission effectiveness.
4. Apply effective interpersonal communication.
AFFECTIVE OBJECTIVE: Value effective interpersonal communication
PART IB
ORGANIZATIONAL PATTERN: Topical
LESSON OUTLINE :
CONTENT
INTRODUCTION: Attention, Motivation, and Overview
MP 1. Feedback And Counseling
MP 2. Defining Interpersonal Communication
MP 3. Adapting Interpersonal Skills
MP 4. Work Center Meetings Exercises
MP 5. Impact Of Effective Interpersonal Skills
MP 6. Interpersonal Sessions
CONCLUSION: Summary, Remotivation, and Closure
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PART II
STUDENT READING
According to George Bernard Shaw, The greatest problem in communication is the
illusion that it has been accomplished.1 With this in mind, you must be aware you can
have long conversations with your subordinates and still not communicate effectively,
especially on an interpersonal level. This reading will help you improve your interpersonal
skills by defining feedback, covering counseling and interpersonal communication, and by
discussing how to use counseling and interpersonal communication more effectively. Let
us begin with feedback and counseling.
FEEDBACK AND COUNSELING
Feedback
When we refer to feedback, we are referring to the active communication process where
you evaluate or judge subordinate performance and respond by either promoting a change
in behavior or by reinforcing present performance. Although most call these responses
counseling, unit managers are frustrated by their subordinates negative reactions to the
word counseling. These negative feelings get in the way of the good things counselors try
to do for their counselees.
In reality, counseling and feedback mirror each other in many ways. The feedback process
controls effectiveness through evaluations and judgments, whereas counseling works to
maintain or improve effectiveness through guidance. However, in practice the difference
between the two is vague so, based on the situation, the line dividing them can become
blurred or even disappear.
As mentioned, we give feedback to discourage or encourage certain subordinate
behaviors; however, behind this general objective are some more narrowly focused
purposes. AFI 36-2406 described the three varied purposes of feedback.
The first purpose is to provide meaningful feedback to individuals on expectations
and advice on how well they are meeting those expectations, and advice on how to
better meet those expectations. The second purpose is to provide a reliable, longterm, cumulative record of performance and potential based on that performance.
The third purpose is to providesenior NCO evaluation boards, the Weighted
Airman Promotion System (WAPS), and other personnel managers sound
information to assist in identifying the best qualified enlisted personnel.2
The Enlisted Evaluation System establishes requirements for conducting the evaluation
process. Simply put, the process begins with determining what the subordinates are
supposed to do and how they are supposed to complete each task. Then, subordinates
actually perform their tasks as you, the unit manager, record what and how well the
subordinates performed. This type of documentation facilitates subordinate performance
and development. Although the process involves extra work, it is the best way to direct
performance and respond to changing priorities.
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However, feedback is not always enough. Sometimes the evaluation process reveals issues
that require your involvement in another way. When this occurs, you must transition from
giving feedback to providing counseling.
Counseling
Counseling, just like feedback, improves organizational effectiveness. Effective leaders
pay attention to personal and performance concerns of their people and counsel when
necessary.
Counseling is a type of communication used to empower subordinates to achieve goals. It
is more than simply telling subordinates how they are doing, that is feedback. Good
counseling focuses on developing subordinates abilities to achieve individual and unit
goals. When performed correctly, counseling helps guide subordinates toward appropriate
changes in behavior. However, when improperly executed, subordinates are left with an
unclear interpretation of their personal goals as well as what is expected of them. There
are times when a leader is required to counsel, but effective unit managers realize there are
also times when they must choose to counsel even though it is not an Air Force
requirement. Whenever there is a need for focused, two-way communication aimed at
subordinate development, counseling is appropriate.
Effective counseling takes practice and patience, and effective leaders use both to develop
their counseling skills. Good counseling skills include respecting subordinates, being
aware of cultural differences (self and others), and empathy. While developing these
skills, effective leaders avoid the following common counseling mistakes:
- Operating based on personal likes and dislikes
- Using stereotypes, personal biases and prejudices to counsel
- Making rash judgments
- Loss of emotional control
-
Counseling Guidelines
Outline: Using an outline to conduct a counseling session makes it easier to conduct and
more productive. A good outline forces you to think thoroughly and intentionally, about a
pending counseling session, and it improve the effectiveness of your counseling. When
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drafting an outline, include the purpose of the session, points relevant to the issue, possible
questions, and possible actions. An Outline helps you remember key points, ask important
questions, and relate issues to goals.
Environment: Always counsel in an environment free from distractions and in a location
where all parties can communicate freely. Whenever possible, counsel during the duty
day. After-hour sessions are often rushed and usually perceived as unfavorable.
Length of sessions: The length of the session depends on the complexity of the issue;
however, a good rule of thumb is to keep sessions to 60 minutes or less.
Inform counselees: Be sure to tell counselees why, where, and when counseling is to take
place, and what the counselees must do to prepare for the session. Ask counselees to
provide pertinent information 2 or 3 days before the scheduled session to allow you to
review and prepare to discuss it.
Plan of action: During the counseling session, focus on specific behaviors the counselee
needs to improve or continue displaying. Ensure the session results in a plan of action with
clear and obtainable goals. Finally, always schedule a follow-up to close the loop.
Counseling Approaches
There are three main approaches to counseling: the directive approach at one extreme, the
nondirective approach at the other, and the combined approach in the middle. Although
these approaches are similar in keeping with the overall purpose and definition of
counseling, they differ in technique. The major difference is the degree to which
subordinates participate and interact during the counseling session.
It is safe to say none of you will take the exact same approach when conducting feedback
or counseling sessions. Effective leaders approach each subordinate as an individual,
tailoring the session to meet the needs of that particular subordinate. However, most
sessions could be placed into one of the following categories:
1. Directive or Supervisor-Centered. In this approach, you do most of the talking
and tell the subordinate what needs to be done. You determine the content of, and
assume the responsibility for, the session. This approach is usually short in
duration.
2. Nondirective or Subordinate-Centered. A second option is to center the session
on the subordinate. In this approach, your primary role will be to help the
subordinate by providing the information he or she needs to make an informed
choice about how to behave in the future. This approach puts the responsibility
squarely on the subordinate, and it encourages maturity and open communication.
Although many see this as the preferred approach, it cannot always be used due to
the amount of time it usually takes to conduct nondirective sessions.
3. Combined. Probably the most common approach is for both the unit manager and
subordinate to share the responsibility for the sessions success. This combined
approach has a lot of positive impact on the relationship by creating trust. It will
take a lot of skill on your part to know when to take on responsibility and when to
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let the subordinate have the responsibility. In the combined approach, you use
portions of the directive and nondirective approaches. The combined approach
emphasizes that the subordinate must be responsible for planning and decision
making.
Subordinate-Centered Communication
You previously touched on the subordinate-centered approach to feedback or counseling,
but keep in mind you must strive to keep all your interpersonal communications focused
on the individual. Subordinate-centered communication is simply a style of
communicating where the subordinate is not a passive listener, but a vital contributor in the
communication process. The purpose of subordinate-centered communication is to allow
the subordinate to maintain control and responsibility for the feedback or counseling
situation. Regardless of the approach you plan to take, every time you prepare for a
feedback or counseling session, you must focus on ways to keep it centered on the
subordinate. Whether you are attempting to help the subordinate to develop, or you are
simply imparting directions or advice, subordinate participation is necessary. You must
learn how to guide the subordinate to meet performance expectations. Developing this
skill takes time, and you shouldnt expect to be the best subordinate-centered
communicator overnight. Youll probably find the following skills to be helpful in
developing the ability to maintain subordinate-centered communication sessions:
Active Listening: Give full attention to subordinates; listen to their words and how
they are spoken. Notice voice tone, eye contact, facial expression, and appearance.
Transmit your understanding of the message through responding.
Counseling Sessions
During the lesson, you will participate in a simulated counseling session in which you play
the role of an NCOIC holding a work center meeting and your flight mates play the roles
of your subordinates. The exercises help reinforce the material taught during the
counseling discussions and offer an opportunity to practice your interpersonal
communication skills. An added benefit is the exercises help you prepare for your
Interpersonal Group Session formative exercise and summative evaluation.
There are copies of the scenarios you will use in class at the end of this student guide and
although the sessions are under simulated conditions, we expect you to take the scenarios
seriously. Put forth your best effort because you can learn a great deal from the experience.
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Everyone gets to play each role at least once: counselor, counselee, and observer.
DEFINING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
What follows are definitions of interpersonal communication from two noted experts in the
field of human communication:
Interpersonal communication [is defined] as the exchange of messages between
persons for the purpose of constructing common meanings.3
Otis W. Baskin and Craig E. Aronoff
Interpersonal communication refers to face-to-face, two-way
communication...[where] (1) all parties are in close proximity, (2) all parties send
and receive messages, and (3) these messages include both verbal and non-verbal
stimuli.4
Stewart L. Tubbs and Sylvia Moss
Using the above definitions, EPME developed its own working definition of interpersonal
communication:
Interpersonal communication is a face-to-face, multidirectional exchange of
verbal messages and nonverbal signals between two or more people, for the
purpose of gaining a shared meaning.
Throughout the course and after graduation you will find our working definition useful as
you fulfill your role as a managerial communicator. Please keep the definition in mind as
we explore the nature of interpersonal communication, and later as we define key skills
needed to apply interpersonal communication effectively.
The Nature of Interpersonal Communication
1. Depth
To illustrate how complex interpersonal communication can become, imagine yourself
playing a simple game of catch. When you have a ball (a message) that you want to throw
(send), you first look to see that the other person (the receiver) is paying attention. Perhaps
you make good eye contact right away, or maybe you whistle to capture his or her
attention. When the other person is ready, you wind up and give it a hurl. The other
person holds up the glove and catches the ball, or frowns as your poorly thrown ball sails
overhead. We consider this one-way trip with a message to be a communicative action.
However, even when the person misses the ball, he usually retrieves it in order to throw it
back. When the receiver throws the ball back, the same process starts over again, but with
the roles reversed. This catch-throw pattern continues until someone or something breaks
the cycle. We call this two-way exchange of messages an interaction.
Now, let us make things a little more interesting. Suppose that instead of one ball going
back and forth, there are several balls in motion between the same two players. Now, the
two players are simultaneously throwing balls to, and receiving balls from, one another in
rapid-fire succession. We call this type of continuous sending and receiving a transaction.
Now suppose that instead of two people playing catch, there are six, and everyone is
catching and throwing balls to everyone else, continuously. To add even more complexity,
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some balls are thrown while others are rolled along the ground or thrown high in the air,
causing you to shift your gaze in all directions. Now you can begin to see how much
multidimensional processing actually takes place in interpersonal communication.
2. Scope
The scope of interpersonal communication can be as small as one-on-one interactions
between two people, transactions between one person and a small group of people, or even
transactions between one person and a large audience. However, since the focus of the
NCO academy is to help you prepare for managing organizational resources, we limit our
examination of interpersonal communication to one-on-one and small group settings.
3. Suitability
Interpersonal communication, by its very nature, comes attached to various situational
factors. You must consider issues such as confidentiality, formality, familiarity,
appearance, civility, abruptness, and values before blurting out poorly chosen words that
can injure or provoke.
The suitability of your nonverbal signals is also very important; nonverbals should not
contradict accompanying words. Words and nonverbals that are grossly inappropriate or
contradictory can cut communication short and permanently damage healthy relationships.
Perhaps you remember a time when an unexpected or inappropriate comment or response
evoked an emotional reaction and ultimately caused hurt or resentment. On a more
positive side, verbal messages and nonverbal signals that are consistent with one another
and appropriate for the situation, enhance communication and reinforce relationships.
Factors Influencing Interpersonal Communication
Several components make interactions and transactions effective. We will start by looking
at the sender, then go on to consider the receiver, the message itself, the setting, and finish
with other situational factors.
1. Knowing Yourself
It is very important to understand how we assign meaning to words or react to certain
issues or situations. Admittedly, we are often unaware of the nonverbal messages we send
and thus we sometimes send unintentional signals that can trigger negative behaviors in
others (like avoidance or retaliation). We must constantly be aware of distracting
mannerisms such as how we stand, sit, hold our hands, and even the way we talk.
Subordinates (and just about everybody else) are always more aware of our distracting
mannerisms than we are.
The good news is that being aware of our interpersonal tendencies gives us an edge
because it allows us to control verbal or nonverbal signals that might otherwise hinder
communication. Do a little self-evaluation to determine your personality style and your
typical responses to certain situations. For example, if you are always very calm,
subordinates may have trouble recognizing a sense of urgency by the tone of your voice.
Likewise, if you are a very expressive person, subordinates may know you are angry
before you even say anything. The key is to be conscious of your own tendencies so you
can adjust your communication to help receivers interpret your messages correctly.
During the Four Lenses lesson you learned about The Johari Window. This is one of the
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most popular models for illustrating our self-awareness. Essentially, it is a matrix with
four quadrants to illustrate levels of awareness and illustrates each pane can grow or
contract as levels of awareness change.
The Johari Window often leads to very lengthy and provocative discussions about human
behavior, and as much as we would like to pursue those discussions, time limits us to an
abbreviated examination of the concept.
As we learn more about ourselves, and our receivers learn more about us, the Open
Quadrant becomes larger. As Disclosure increases on the part of the sender, the
Open Quadrant grows, causing the Hidden and Unknown Quadrants to diminish.
Likewise, as the sender receives Feedback, the Open Quadrant again grows,
causing the Blind and Unknown Quadrants to diminish.
Practicing self-disclosure and encouraging feedback broaden your Open Quadrant!
a. Monitoring your own actions
Self-monitoring is our ability to detect appropriateness of our social behaviors and selfpresentation in response to situational constraints and to adjust our behaviors to fit the
situation.5
Individuals who are high self-monitors tend to be more effective in cross-cultural
situations because a high self-monitor tends to read the social situation first and then
present an appropriate response, as opposed to simply presenting a consistent image of
self in every situation. A high self-monitor asks, "Who does this situation want me to
be and how can I be that person?" Whereas the low self-monitor asks, "Who am I and
how can I be me in this situation?"6
It is important to recognize that our culture often sends mixed messages in this regard.
On the one hand, there is an emphasis in the U.S. to "Be yourself" and to "Stay true to
yourself, however research demonstrates that being a high self-monitor is one of the
keys to social success. It is best to recognize that either extreme (high or low selfmonitoring) can be limiting and to be mindful of the complexities of each
communication context in which we choose to interact.7
Being able to monitor and adjust our own behavior is the first step towards improving
our interaction skills.
b. Perception-Checking
As the saying goes, there are two sides to every story. Put another way, each person has
his/her own perception of an event and thus interprets messages differently from the
sender's intention.
A critical component of managing an interaction is managing the outcome. A good
way to do this is through perception checking. We can check our perceptions of our
communication partner's verbal and nonverbal messages in three simple steps:
1. Describe the behavior or message we heard;
2. Communicate our perceptions to our partner or partners without judgment; and
3. Ask to see if our perceptions are correct.
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Although not called perception checking per se, we can check to make sure our cocommunicators understand our messages as we intended by asking them to tell us what
we said in their own words. This ensures each person involved leaves the interaction on
the same page. Perception checking is a key component of active listening.
One pitfall to this practice; it is biased towards individualist cultures because it only
works with people (cultures) who are comfortable being honest about how they
perceived a message. If you sense that your partner is uncomfortable with this, it may
be necessary to ask your perception-checking questions in an indirect manner or use a
self-deprecating style to save his or her face.8
In cross-cultural communication, we often receive unexpected responses. This is a good
indication that a perception-check might be in order.
2. Knowing Others
Understanding the people we communicate with is another critical part of effective
interpersonal communication. Normally, the amount of time we interact with people
determines how much we know about their history, experiences, motives, personality, or
present emotional state. The more we know about our subordinates, the better we can
communicate with them. People with similar backgrounds often use familiar terms to
communicate, while the lack of a common frame of reference may require some trial and
error before effective communication takes place. Knowing the background and
experiences of our people helps us tailor our communication, and it helps us interpret their
nonverbal communication signals.
3. The Message
Another critical factor in interpersonal communication is the messages sent back and forth
between sender and receiver. As described earlier, both verbal and nonverbal components
make up these messages, so we need to take a closer look at the specifics of each one.
What We Say. Not all terms and phrases mean the same thing to all people. For example,
mentioning the term relationship may cause tension or even make a subordinate feel
threatened. While you may use that word to refer to professional working relationships,
the subordinate may associate that term with a bad experience or think you are making
inappropriate advances. Therefore, it pays to choose words that are not likely to be
misinterpreted. Here are some thoughts to consider when choosing appropriate words in
interpersonal communication:
-
Phrasesother countries and even different areas of the United States occasionally
use different phrases to describe the same thing. For example, people in the
northeast might use the phrase going to the bubbler to mean they are going to get
a drink from the water fountain. Be careful to select phrases people understand.
your thoughts in the form of sentences. Your audience expects you to follow
certain rules in your conversation.
-
Sentence Clarityconfusion can occur when too many items are combined in a
single sentence; when modifiers are crossed; and when number (singular, plural),
perspective (1st, 2nd, 3rd person), or time (past, present, future) is mixed up.
How We Say It. Paralanguage is the characteristics of the voice.9 Paralanguage is often
just as important as, if not more important than, the actual words we speak. People
continuously monitor the following items to decipher the true meaning of the message:
-
Ratethe number of words spoken within a specified time. Rate often increases
because of stress. Some people have a constant rate, while others speak in bursts.
Fluencyusing pauses effectively to provide desired flow and effect. Pauses are
typically described in three dimensions: length (milliseconds to minutes), filled
(vocalized) and unfilled (silent), and location (ending of a thought, beginning of a
thought, etc.).
Volumeloudness
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paralinguistic cue such as "eh?", ask a question, or nod in the direction of the listener).
Competitive interruption is aggressive and serves to dominate conversation. It is Ioriented and a battle for conversational control. Conversely, non-competitive
interrupting usually arises out of excitement about the conversation and from not being
able to hold back one's contribution.
The acceptability of non-competitive interrupting varies from culture-to-culture. It is
important to gauge competent response styles based on the culture in which you are
interacting.
Here is some practical advice to help you manage competitive interrupting.
-
Monitor your own behavior, judge the cultural norm for turn-taking, and keep the
following tips in mind:
o Frequency (how often do you interrupt?)
o Timing (at what point in the conversation do you or your partner interrupt?)
o Solicitation (are you being asked to offer your opinions at any time or are
you just assuming?)11
In addition, nonverbal actions give you and your conversation partner clues about the
interaction. You may lean forward, nod your head, point, pause or look away in an
attempt to direct the conversation. These are known as back-channeling cues ... and
are used to communicate various types of information back to the speaker without
your assuming the role of the speaker. You can also do this with utterances such as
"yeah", "uh-huh" which are non-competitive interruptions. However, these are very
culture-specific behaviors.
b. Content Only Response
A content-only response focuses only on the literal meaning of a message without
taking into account the emotions or cultural message behind what is being said.
For example, if an Airman sets foot on the ground for the first time in Baghdad and
said, "This heat is killing me!" A novice interpreter could translate that message
literally and a great deal of misunderstanding could occur between the Airman and
the Iraqis he will be working with before the introductions are even made!
As you see from this example, content-only response can occur in an interpretermediated communication, but it is also common when individuals are communicating
via email, since both parties are not always able to discern the emotional content of an
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email.
This stresses the importance of communication competence -- as opposed to linguistic
competence. It is one thing to understand the literal, dictionary-definition/meaning of
words, but it is quite another to be able to use them appropriately and effectively!
Once again, here is some practical advice to help you manage the content-only
response.
1. Recall the power of paralanguage
One of the keys to managing the content-only response is to recall the power of
paralanguage. Paralanguage is a term used to describe how we say what we say.
Vocal rate, pitch, tone, volume, etc. can give the same words very different
meanings. When we ignore this, misunderstandings and misinterpretations can
occur and make communication ineffective.
2. Be mindful of distinctions in others' behaviors
Effective interpersonal intelligence builds on the core capacity to notice distinctions
among others; in particular, contrasts in their moods, motivations, and intentions.
In more advanced forms, this intelligence permits a skilled adult to read the
intentions and desires of others, even when these have been hidden. This is
achieved once you become aware of and in tune to others' nonverbal
communication and paralinguistic behavior, and when you use the skills associated
with active listening, for example. Once this happens, you may begin re-framing
experiences in order to create new and alternative understandings of people and the
way they communicate.12
Interpreting Culture Messages: The Difference Between Translation and
Interpretation
The clear distinction between knowing how to speak a language and knowing how to use
that language effectively and appropriately is especially applicable and potentially
problematic in electronic communication -- but it is also becomes salient when working
with an interpreter
Consider the differences between these two definitions:
-
Translate (to turn into one's own or another language, often in written format)
Interpret (to explain or tell the meaning of: present in understandable terms)
Major Scott McIntosh at the Air Command and Staff College routinely delivers
presentations on "Working with Interpreters" around the Air Force. He suggests ways in
which military members can simplify their own messages (such as not using acronyms,
allusions, and idioms) to ensure the translator is truly an effective interpreter. He also notes
that military interpreters should strive for interpreting (rather than translating). Interpreting
is about representing ideas in understandable terms, as opposed to word-by-word
translation. The interpretation process involves many of the concepts and skills associated
with effective communication, such as an understanding of communication tone, gestureuse, and other culture-specific rules for interactions.
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Nonverbal Behavior
When paralanguage and words sharply contradict one another, receivers tend to rely more
heavily on paralanguage and other nonverbal cues such as body language. Consider the
following types of nonverbal behaviors associated with interpersonal communication:
-
Facial expressions. Expressions of fear, surprise, joy, sadness, anger, disgust, etc.,
conveyed through brow, eye, and mouth configurations.
Eye contact. When the sender and receiver are looking into each others eyes.
Body language. Messages sent through body posture (slouching, sitting erectly,
lounging, crossed arms, etc.) and behaviors (stomping a foot, pointing a finger,
shaking the head, etc.).
Positioning. Proximity or distance between sender and receiver (which may vary as
the conversation progresses) and the configuration of their respective positions
(standing, sitting, facing head-on, side-by-side, etc.).
Of all the nonverbal behaviors listed above, facial expressions rank highest when it comes
to interpersonal communication. According to Baskin and Aronoff, Next to speech, the
face is probably the primary source of information in human interaction. It is the primary
site for communication of emotional states, interpersonal attitudes, and feedback to others.
[see the following formula]Perceived attitude = 7% verbal + 38% vocal + 55% facial.13
One last note on nonverbal behavior, there are cultural differences in gesture usage. You
now have a solid understanding of the important role nonverbal communication (such as
gestures) plays in becoming a competent communicator. Cultures differ in their use of
hand gestures, head movements, gestures to illustrate spoken words, and adaptive gestures
to cope with external stimuli (i.e. what to say - or not to say - if someone is sneezing).14
Once non-verbal knowledge and awareness have been cultivated, the next step is to learn
how to employ them effectively to manage an interaction.
4. The Situation
Each interpersonal session is unique in that a number of situational issues (including
random and unpredictable circumstances) drive people to interact with one another.
Although each person may have a different idea of the reason for the communication,
interpersonal sessions usually have only one overriding purpose. Understanding the
primary reason for an interpersonal session helps us prepare to receive certain cues and
respond with appropriate words, paralanguage, and nonverbal behavior. Consider how
your words, demeanor, and behavior might be different in the following situations:
-
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Interacting with your childs teachers following poor report card grades
5. The Setting
Another thing to consider about interpersonal communication is the setting. The three
most critical factors to consider in selecting or preparing the setting are location, space,
and time.
-
Locationsome occasions will require a location with the fewest distractions. The
situation will often dictate the level of privacy needed. Prepare locations for seating,
lighting, temperature, etc., as necessary.
Spaceyour relationship determines the distance between you and the other person.
Anthropologist Edward T. Hall categorizes proxemics (interpersonal communication
distance) as:
o Intimate spacethe closest bubble of space surrounding a person. Entry into this
space is acceptable only for the closest friends and intimates.
o Social and consultative spacesthe spaces in which people feel comfortable
conducting routine social interactions with acquaintances as well as strangers.
o Public spacethe area of space beyond which people will perceive interactions as
impersonal and relatively anonymous.15
Timeconsideration must be given to the time needed to prepare for the interaction
(pre-session), the time spent actually conducting the session, and the time following
the session (post-session). In addition, consideration for the timing of the session is
critically important to the success of a session. When possible, conduct sessions at a
time that is favorable to all parties involved (e.g. at the beginning of a shift).
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Mentoring sessions
Training sessions
All of the above situations place you in slightly different roles. At times, you will act
primarily as an advocate who supports or defends your subordinates, while at other times
you will serve as rater, advisor, counselor, or encourager.
1. Assertiveness
An important aspect of interpersonal communication is assertiveness. Although there is a
world of difference between being assertive and being aggressive, many people get the two
confused. Aggressive behavior is associated with being pushy, stubborn, and rude.
Aggressive people always insist on their particular way of doing things and drive others
away in the process.
On the other hand, being self-assured, confident, and respectful of others characterizes
assertiveness. Being assertive is really more about having self-esteem, accepting your own
feelings and opinions as valid, and having the self-confidence to express them. By
asserting yourself properly, you effectively communicate your wishes in a nonthreatening
manner, taking into consideration the opinions and feelings of others.
There may be, however, situations when assertiveness is not called for. You must assess
each situation and consider whether asserting your opinions might be more detrimental
than beneficial. After careful consideration, you may decide that it is not the appropriate
time or place to speak up. For example, if your boss, while surrounded by superiors,
directs you to take immediate and specific action, it is probably not the time to assert your
opinion of a more efficient way of accomplishing the task. However, you may find a more
appropriate setting to share your point of view later on.
2. Conversational Constraint Theory
Conversational Constraint Theory suggests that cultural differences play a role in how we
select communicative strategies to keep our conversations running smoothly. The theory
isolates two main types of conversational constraints: social-relational and task-oriented.16
Just as it sounds, people who emphasize social-relational concerns want to maintain
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harmony in their conversations and be on good terms with others -- even if it means
forgoing the task at hand. On the other hand, those with task-oriented concerns privilege
the discussion of task in the conversation over the relationship. For instance, think about
how the following concerns impact your conversations:
1. Concern for clarity
2. Concern for not hurting the other's feelings
3. Concern for non-imposition
4. Concern for avoiding negative evaluation by the hearer
5. Concern for effectiveness
For example, if clarity is important to you in a conversation, a strategy you might use to
maintain clarity is a direct verbal style (i.e., you might ask your conversational partner
directly, "I don't understand where you're going with this...can you please be clearer?") On
the other hand, if it is more important to you to avoid hurting another's feelings, when
asked directly about your opinion on a subject, you might use silence or avoidance to
maintain harmony with your conversational partner.
If you understand how your conversational partner rates these culture-based constraints, it
can help clarify potentially confusing cross-cultural interaction.
IMPACT OF EFFECTIVE MANAGERIAL INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Impact on Working Relationships
Merely knowing about effective interpersonal communication skills is not enough; we
have to put them into practice if we want to develop effective working relationships with
others. There is a big difference between speaking with and speaking at someone. For
example, when we take the time to listen to our coworkers needs and respond in a way
that helps them feel understood, we enhance our relationships. Among other things, a
simple act of listening communicates, I value your viewpoint. When we listen, others
are more likely to do the same for us, and are more likely to offer assistance when they
sense we need it. The natural result of a mutually supportive relationship is a free flow of
information about job-related issues.
This opens the door for us to exchange trade secrets with others and to become actively
involved in helping others develop their skills and abilities. Genuine listening is
contagious; when others sense cooperation, they want to be part of the team.
Supervisors appreciate genuine feedback from subordinates. Given how much our
decisions can effect followers, we needand should wantto hear and understand their
followers perspectives. Without genuine feedback, it is hard to balance the needs of the
mission with the situational concerns of our workers. Likewise, subordinates benefit from
effective interpersonal communication skills. Subordinates need feedback on performance
in order to progress. Therefore, listening to subordinates concerns and suggestions is
critical to providing good feedback. Listening and feedback motivates subordinates
because it makes them feel like valued members of the team.
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Telling subordinates not only what to do but how to do it, doing all the upward and
lateral communication themselves (if the subordinates idea is good, the leaders handle
it themselves; if they think it is bad, they crush it); and
Talking individually with subordinates (seldom in groups) to keep them competing for
his or her favor.
This type of communication from leaders leads to the same behavior in subordinates.
When leaders do not share information, subordinates become very ingenious at ferreting
out secrets. In addition, unless we can share them, secrets hold no status. This is how leaks
occur. Leaders indicate a lack of confidence when they tell subordinates how to do the
work. It does not take long for subordinates to begin demonstrating that lack of confidence,
usually by refusing to assume new duties or to take on new tasks. When leaders handle all
upward and lateral communication, subordinates learn little about other parts of the
organization, and therefore prove the leaders assumption that the workers are indifferent
to organizational needs. Leaders of this type either kill ideas or send the best ones forward
themselves, thus subordinates have no incentive to present new ideas. When leaders do
not communicate with subordinates in groups, subordinates form informal alliances to
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spread information.
2. Overhumanized Climate
The over humanized climate is at the other end of the continuum. Instead of
dehumanization, there is undue preoccupation with human relationships. Though the
dehumanized climate can be traced to the work of Taylor, the over humanized climate has
its roots in the famous Hawthorne studies, which highlighted the importance of social
relationships to production.
The basic assumptions of the over humanized approach are that human relations are more
important than organizational objectives, conflicts and tensions should be reduced at all
costs, motivation of subordinates should be almost totally intrinsic and self-directed, and
participative decision making is always superior to decisions made by one or a few.
Leaders communicate their belief in this approach by emphasizing individual needs more
than organizational ones. In some instances, these assumptions will produce positive and
productive results, but there is a high frequency of undesirable responses. Subordinates
often respond to the over humanized climate in ways not in the best interest of the
organization. The consistent concern for needs and welfare of individuals further
emphasizes that these are more important than organizational goals, and may eventually
lead to the destruction of the organization. These leaders emphasize an absence of conflict
and often attempt to create the appearance of harmony and warm interpersonal
relationships, even when tensions and conflicts are present. Therefore, instead of
manifesting themselves through conflict at the workplace, tensions and emotions are often
relieved outside the work environment to family and friendsultimately this is more
damaging than conflict at work. Undue emphasis on intrinsic motivation suggests that
something is wrong with individuals who are motivated by external factors, such as raises
or promotions. Belief in decision making exclusively by the group causes subordinates to
be dissatisfied with directives from those above them.
3. Situational Climate
The situational climate contends that organizational and individual goals need not be at
odds with one another, thus this climate falls midway between the dehumanized and over
humanized climates.
Douglas McGregor is one of the best-known advocates of this view. McGregor called for
an appropriate approach, based on an assessment of individual and organizational needs.
By definition, the situational approach suggests establishing an appropriate climate for
each situation. This means using strict uncompromising discipline when necessary and
structuring work experiences to enhance peoples self-development when necessary.
There are three assumptions basic to establishing a situational climate.
1. A flexible climate that can adapt to the complex and changing nature of
individual and organizational needs is superior to a fixed climate.
2. Individuals are not naturally passive, resistant to organizational needs, or
reluctant to assume responsibility.
3. Since individuals are not lazy, we can structure work to bring individual and
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Opening skills
Resolving skills
Attending skills
Closing skills
Responding skills
Communicate how you feel about this situation openly and honestly.
Gradually cooperate with the NCOICs solutions for dealing with this situation.
Roles: (If there are more players than roles, improvise as realistically as possible)
-
Best Friend: You are best friends with the member in trouble and you are very upset
because you feel the punishment was too harsh.
Unsympathetic Peer: You openly express how stupid you think the member was for
drinking and driving.
Workload Concern Peer: Your only concern is the additional workload because you
now have to supervise subordinates who used to work for the member in trouble.
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Opening skills
Resolving skills
Attending skills
Closing skills
Responding skills
Communicate how you feel about this situation openly and honestly.
Gradually cooperate with the NCOICs solutions for dealing with this situation.
Roles: (If there are more players than roles, improvise as realistically as possible)
-
Pushy NCO: You always want your way and your Airmen act the same.
Aggressive NCO: Although you do not let anyone push you around, you neglect your
Airmen as a defense mechanism.
Quiet NCO: You never let others know how you feel, and as a result, you never stand
up for your Airmen.
MC03SG - 22
Opening skills
Attending skills
Responding skills
Resolving skills
Closing skills
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Communicate how you feel about this situation openly and honestly.
Gradually cooperate with the NCOICs solutions for dealing with this situation.
Roles: (If there are more players than roles, improvise as realistically as possible)
Training NCO: You are concerned about disruptions to Airmens upgrade training.
Demerit NCO: During the last exercise you received a write up for an improperly packed
mobility bag, which you believe was a ridiculous call
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Opening skills
Attending skills
Responding skills
Resolving skills
Closing skills
Communicate how you feel about this situation openly and honestly.
Gradually become cooperative with the NCOIC on solutions to deal with this situation.
Roles: (If there are more players than roles, simply improvise as realistically as possible.)
-
Joker NCO: You think the NCOIC is making a mountain out of a mole hill
Night school NCO: You feel your two night classes take priority over your job
Overloaded NCO: Because others are not focused, you believe your Airmen do all the
work
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violation, you are ready to take administrative action on everyone in the section! What is
so frustrating is that you consider yourself the ultimate professional. You come in early,
stay late, and value the rules and regulations and you expect others to do the same. You
wish everyone were half as dedicated as you are! Today, you plan to meet with the NCOs
in the shop to discuss the problem and its impact on the mission with the goal of improving
the work center atmosphere. Be ready to deal with emotional responses.
NCOIC Instructions:
Use the following interpersonal communication skills during your meeting:
-
Opening skills
Attending skills
Responding skills
Resolving skills
Closing skills
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Communicate how you feel about this situation openly and honestly.
Gradually become cooperative with the NCOIC on solutions to deal with this situation.
Roles: (If there are more players than roles, simply improvise as realistically as possible.)
Brave NCO: You bravely, but respectfully inform the NCOIC of the holier than
thou perception that workers have of him/her.
Memory NCO: Because you believe, the NCOIC has forgotten about all the
personal issues effecting the work center, you remind him/her about them (divorce,
childbirth, death in the family, financial issues, off-duty employment, night school,
child care, etc.).
Quiet NCO: You do not like what the NCOIC is doing, but you also do not want to
open up because your EPR is about to close out.
Group (Work Center Meeting)
Session #6 NCOIC
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everyone plenty of time for personal hygiene after the workouts, you shift the start of the duty day
from 0730 to 0745. However, when you approach people about your plan, you receive a lot of
resistance and general complaining. Today, you plan to meet with the NCOs in the section to
discuss the issue and to determine if there other ideas or solutions to robust the sections fitness
program. Be ready to deal with emotional responses.
NCOIC Instructions
Use the following interpersonal communication skills during your meeting:
-
Opening skills
Attending skills
Responding skills
Resolving skills
Closing skills
Communicate how you feel about this situation openly and honestly.
Gradually become cooperative with the NCOIC on solutions to deal with this situation.
Roles: (If there are more players than roles, simply improvise as realistically as possible.)
Bodybuilder NCO: You have a regimented fitness schedule that includes aerobics.
Single parent NCO: The daycare center does not open up until 0630.
Protector NCO: You feel your subordinates do not get enough off-duty time as it
is.
Group (Work Center Meeting)
Session #7 NCOIC
Aircraft Incident
NCOIC: Yesterday, someone from another shop left a wrench in the intake of an aircraft;
luckily, the crew chief found the tool prior to takeoff. You are sure your people know the
potential ramifications of this situation and are confident they would never let this happen;
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but you are still concerned with tool accountability procedures. Given the seriousness of
the mistake, you want to ensure everyone knows the rules and requirements. Today, you
plan to meet with the NCOs in the shop to discuss the issue of the mishap. Be ready to
deal with emotional responses.
NCOIC Instructions
Use the following interpersonal communication skills during your meeting:
-
Opening skills
Attending skills
Responding skills
Resolving skills
Closing skills
Communicate how you feel about this situation openly and honestly.
Gradually become cooperative with the NCOIC on solutions to deal with this
situation.
Roles: (If there are more players than roles, simply improvise as realistically as possible.)
Expressive NCO: You express how stupid the mechanic was to do what he did.
Frustrated NCO: You are frustrated over the amount of remedial training.
Good Friend NCO: You are good friends with the individual who left the wrench
in the intake, and although you want to support the policy, you want to support
your friend too.
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Attachment 1
Form ___ Summ ___
Date: _____________
OPENING SKILLS
How well did he/she establish rapport, convey purpose/objective of meeting, encourage participation?
2 or 3
4 or 5
6 or 7
MARGINAL:
GOOD:
EXCELLENT:
- Purpose/objective expressed in an
unclear manner
ATTENDING SKILLS
How well did he/she maintain eye contact, use body posturing, acknowledge gestures, receive verbal/nonverbal cues?
7 or 8
9 or 10
11or 12
MARGINAL:
GOOD:
EXCELLENT:
RESPONDING SKILLS
How well did he/she prompt group members to open up (disclose and/or explore); use verbal skills (tone, volume,
articulation, word usage), use non-verbal skills (facial expressions, proximity, gestures, demeanor)? Were responses:
Suitable (appropriate, responsive, and respectful), consistent (agreement between verbal and nonverbal)?
6 or 7
8 or 9
10 or 11
MARGINAL:
GOOD:
EXCELLENT:
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RESOLVING SKILLS
How well did he/she facilitate the group: To resolve problems and/or reach goals? To generate solutions? Were the
solutions: Comprehensive? Appropriate? Feasible?
6 or 7
8 or 9
10 or 11
MARGINAL:
GOOD:
EXCELLENT:
- Appropriate solutions
CLOSING SKILLS
How well did he/she summarize the session? Assign tasks to achieve goals/solutions? Provide closure? Refrain from
introducing new material?
4 or 5
6 or 7
8 or 9
MARGINAL:
GOOD:
EXCELLENT:
Comments: ___________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Passing Score is 35
___________
___________
Grand Total:
___________
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Attachment 2
Interpersonal Observer Check Sheet
Category
Item
Establish rapport
Opening Skills
Purpose/objective
Group participation
Eye contact
Attending Skills
Body posturing
Gestures
Reception of verbal/nonverbal cues
Solutions comprehensive
Solutions appropriate
Solutions feasible
Summary
Closing
Goals/solutions
Closure
New material introduced
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Yes
No
Attachment 3
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NOTES
Air Force Instruction (AFI) 36-2406, Officer and Enlisted Evaluation Systems, 15 April 2005, 6.
Otis W. Baskin and Craig E. Aronoff, Interpersonal Communication in Organizations (Santa Monica, CA:
Goodyear Publishing Company, Inc., 1980), 4.
4
Stewart L. Tubbs and Sylvia Moss, Human Communication: An Interpersonal Perspective (New York:
Random House, Inc., 1974), 6-7.
5
Chen, G. & Starosta, W. (1997). A Review of the Concept of Intercultural Sensitivity. Human
Communication, 1, 1-16.
6
Stewart, J. (2006). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication. Boston: McGraw Hill.
Paul Hersey, Kenneth H. Blanchard, and Dewey E. Johnson, Management of Organizational Behavior:
Utilizing Human Resources (Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1996), 340.
10
Stewart L. Tubbs and Sylvia Moss, Human Communication: An Interpersonal Perspective (New York:
Random House, Inc., 1974), 161.
11
12
13
Otis W. Baskin and Craig E. Aronoff, Interpersonal Communication in Organizations (Santa Monica, CA:
Goodyear Publishing Company, Inc., 1980), 104-105.
14
15
Center for Spatially Integrated Social Science, Edward T. Hall: Proxemic Theory, 1966, http://www.
csiss.org/classics/content/13.
16
Kim, M.S. (1994). Cross-cultural comparisons of the perceived importance of conversational constraints.
Human Communication Research. 21 (1): 128-151.
17
John A. Kline, Leaders Communicating Effectively, in Concepts for Air Force Leadership, ed. Richard I.
Lester, PhD and A. Glen Morton, PhD. (Maxwell AFB, AL: Air University Press, August 2001), 309-310.
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