Being a teacher is not as

easy as it seemed…not as easy as I thought once upon a time

when I choose to be one…

There was a proverb…a Chinese one I suppose…

“The best person is the one who are capable to change other
people…”

This makes me wonder for a moment, isn’t that a job specialized

for a teacher? …and the question is … am I capable in making
changes?

I will never know… even though I’ve seen one by one my student
achievement …How can I arrogantly say that the success that
they achieve is based from me?

Or even…what did I expect from my students, actually?

Everyone has their own way of life… from the day I agreed to
resign my old job and applied as a teacher…
…I’d never thought of that…

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TE@C#ER | Confidential
 My Life as a Teacher 2

Eighteen years of teaching in two very different places had taught

me a lot about life. Eleven years of teaching in an urban area and seven
years in a rural area has opened my eyes to see the reality of life.

I remember very well when I taught in a vernacular school in Petaling

Jaya. How easy it was being a teacher there. The only thing I needed to do
was to go to school and teach the students. I found out, it was almost
unnecessary to teach them because most of the students were sent by their
parents to the tuition centre. In class instead of listening to my teaching, the
students would rather be asleep or finished their tuition homework. It was
quite frustrating for me as a teacher.

Being a teacher, my job was not only to provide them with

knowledge and information. I need to make sure that my students are well
equipped once they leave school. I have to plant seeds of ethics and
mannerism in them, which I find out, is a very hard thing to do.

In urban areas, from my observation the children are individualistic

and self-centred. Everything is done for their own self-benefit or even pride.

I was one of the teacher advisers of a club there. I had to admit that
those students were well-organised. The only thing I need to do was to give
guidance now and then to whatever the club members planned for their
society.

Once, a school society planned a farewell party in a famous hotel.

The principal, teachers and staffs were all invited. Everything was being set
up in a very grandiose way for a school society farewell party. The food, the
decorations and the entertainment were all being planned by the students
themselves. To our surprise, out of nowhere a famous politician walked in
and sat beside the principal. All the teachers were thunder shock! None of

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the teachers or even the principal was informed about the arrival of the well-
known politician. So we put out our poker faces and enjoyed the party. We
were quite in awe with our student ability to perfectly organise a splendid
party, of how they had made a job well done.

As far as I can remember, financial was never a problem to my

students. They paid their school fees and the any additional fees on time
and sometime even earlier. It was not to my surprise though, since most of
the students were from wealthy family’s background and they brought five or
ten ringgit everyday to school for daily expenses.

I remember an incident; a girl had gone to the principal’s room for a

lost purse. The principal asked her how much cash she had in it and she
said “There is RM 200.” I could not help but wonder. What in the world
would she need to bring RM 200 to school? I knew that the money had
nothing to do with school. However that girl had made herself clear that she
did not give a thought about the lost money. “Sir, I don’t care about the
money. It is the purse. It is worth RM 800. It is a limited edition and I
bought it overseas.” That surely silenced me. This girl owned a purse worth
RM 800? She was barely fifteen! Whereas I had to work my bones out and I
could hardly afford a RM 400 handbag? That was clearly an insult! I had a
talk with my friend, Mdm. Sarah who was her class teacher and I found out
that the girl’s father was the owner of a well known water theme park in
Petaling Jaya. Figures...

However the same year the FIFA competition hit in and there was a
second former boy. He was a moderate student. Studying in a middle class
and him often fell asleep while the teachers were teaching. Although, most
of his result were nothing to be proud of and he looked like nothing but an
average student, his mathematics was outstanding. There was no doubt

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 My Life as a Teacher 4

about it. He was capable to solve a complex math with absolutely no

problem.

The students admired him; the teachers liked him (including me).
Until, in one unfortunate day (for him anyway), the discipline teachers and
the prefects held a sport check. As the prefect rummaging his bag, they
found RM 3000. The teachers were very curious. They asked him about
the large cash. At first he refused to tell us anything. But, the discipline
teacher managed to trick the information out off him. It was gamble money.
He picked up bets from his friends for the FIFA game. He said it was no big
deal. He was just fooling around with his friends. However, the discipline
teacher was not buying it. He checked each one of the student’s books and
discovered a list of names those who were betting on the game. The boy
had it all planned in his History note book. The boy did not only pick up bets
among his friends but from the majority of the twelve classes of the second
former. The discipline teacher took all the money and punished all the
students in the list for gambling and for the trouble maker, he had it far
worse. I felt disappointed in the boy. He could do a lot of better things
rather than this. I suggested the boy to enter the Australian Mathematic
Contest and he won. Shortly, all the school student body and the teachers
barely remembered his.

Teacher’s Day was like our second birthday. However on our

birthday we get our presents from our family and friends. On Teacher’s
Day, the students would organise a party and some drama presentation for
the teachers. Most of the students would give us fresh roses; some would
give us really cute decorative cards. I myself used to receive a beautiful
brooch from a girl and several books and novels from the others. There
were these twin students. A girl and a boy, they were an artistic pair. They
wrote me a beautiful poem. It was written by the brother and decorated by

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 My Life as a Teacher 5

the sister. If I were not their class teacher, I would assume that they bought
the poem from some gift shop.

Several years later, there was a young male teacher. I was already
considered as an old teacher for I had being teaching for five years in the
same school. I did not quite remember his name. Well, memory fades as
time passes. But I do remember that, he was a highly spirited teacher. He
would do anything to make sure that his students understand.
Unfortunately, there was a student. An ungrateful boy really had triggered
his patience (Well, all the teachers actually). So, the infuriated teacher had
the boy caned.

All teachers thought that the boy had his lesson. However, on that
very night the male teacher was blackmailed by a gang.

The teacher knew that, they were sent by the boy whom he caned
earlier.

After being harassed by the gang several time. The teacher decided
to resign. For all I know the teacher is now an insurance agent. I have
never heard any news from him after.

On my eleventh year in school, my husband was transferred to the

north. Sadly I had to say goodbye to my friends and students. On my last
day, my students gave me a management diary and a book.

My family and I moved to a new house. I was transferred to a new

school (for me anyway).

My first day as a teacher at one of the school here was totally

different. Somehow, I felt disgruntled to teach in that school. Majority of the

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 My Life as a Teacher 6

students were not from wealthy background. So, my attempt to get even
five ringgit from them for their extra exercise books was downright hilarious.

The students here were a disaster. They do not even bother to iron
their uniform. They were really ignorant regarding their personal hygiene.
Worse, they were not interested in education at all. I wonder how they are
going to survive once they leave school. Not that I care about that. Yes, I
am a teacher and at that time I did not care about the student here. I
despise them. Maybe I am still in my old school mood and that had made
me a short tempered teacher. I do not remember a single day of my early
years here without any yelling and screeching.

On my second year in school, I was given a responsibility to be a

class teacher.

To get the students to pay their fees and school requirement was a
torture. They kept on postponing.

“Teacher I’ll pay next week”

Then,

“Sorry, teacher I’ll pay next month, eh?”

That was really one of the reasons why I missed my old school.
Honestly, it was really irritating.

Then I realised. Am I too naïve? What are my expectations? Am I

too proud of my advanced old school?

With regret, if someone ever asked me the questions I would say

yes.

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 My Life as a Teacher 7

However, I noticed that the teachers were different than at those in

my old school. We really had to work hard in teaching these students.
Because, most of them did not attend tuition classes and they 100 percent
rely on the teacher’s to teach them. I think it was the very first time I had the
opportunity to really teach. And the feeling of exuberant in me was sheerer
than ever. The satisfaction that I felt when I managed to educate an
unwilling student to be the best student in school. It was the time I felt like a
real teacher.

That was the toughest task I had to do. The un-conducive

environment makes it tougher for the students to learn. Some of the
students were interested in learning and had quite high IQ. But, they were
faced with many obstacles. Coming from poor family background some
even forced them to quit their study and went to work.

The rural area was complete antonym with the urban area.

The students were not interested in anything that the school

organised. Everything was monotonous. All activities were organised by
teachers. But, the response was lacking.

For club activities, it was the teachers who conducted the meeting.

Eventually, I try to understand these students. The students go

through a tough life. There are more important things for them to do than
just some absurd club activities. Some of them live in a broken family and
they have to shoulder huge responsibility. Most of the students here
understand the value of money more than those who live in the urban area.
There is some sort of maturity in these children that I will not find in those
from my old school.

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 My Life as a Teacher 8

The harshness of life that these children live through has blinded
them to see the importance of education. And that has upset me. I would
always say this with a sigh, “If only they understand...”

However, one thing that I always like about these students, no

matter how many times I yell at them, they would not hold grudge. As if
they knew that it is their fault. I once scolded one particular student. Then,
on the next day he would still bow at me.

“Good morning, teacher.”

I wish to make the students see that they need to change. They are
very respectful and polite to the elders; maybe because they are well taught
or they adopt the manners from their surroundings. No matter how
courteous they are, they need to understand that only through education
their life can be changed. That is how life is.

A Chinese proverb flashes into my mind.

‘A teacher opens the door, but you need to enter by yourself.’

I always tell my students to try to understand it. They have to.

And now, years have passed and I am still here even though my
husband is transferred back to the south. But, here I feel the satisfaction of
teaching; I can monitor the student’s development throughout the five years
of schooling. How they can metaphorize and bloomed. I am able to value
myself now. Have I succeed in making change? Or can I proudly call myself
a teacher…

Here is something I read from a novel.

Dear teacher,

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 My Life as a Teacher 9

You change a future every time you enter a classroom.

Am I that teacher? I will always wonder.

A few months ago, I went a bank for a cash deposit. A young lady
whom I assumed the manager or something was staring at me,
mesmerising. I tried, very hard, to play ignorance. Once everything was
done; when I was about to step out the bank. The young lady was calling
me.

“Teacher! Teacher! Wait!”

I frown. I used to hear this call. But, I could not really place it.

Then, when the young and elegant lady stood in front of me, smiling,
she took my hand and kissed it.

I stared at her, concentrating.

One of my student obviously, but I could not remember her.

“Hello, teacher. Don’t you remember me? You used punished to me

standing on my chair because I always didn’t finish my homework.” the lady
looked at me, grinning, making her looked years younger. And for a
moment she was not an elegant young lady who standing in front of me, but
a teenage girl, a clumsy, and a very hyper one.

Then, I remembered only vaguely of a girl, very similar to the one

standing in front of me. She who could never sit still, brilliant but playful,
talkative but never rude...

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 My Life as a Teacher 10

I looked at her laughing eyes, fill of excitement and warmth. She

sensed that I had begun to recall.

I smiled.

“I do remember you”

She laughed and hugged me.

“I’m glad. You know teacher if it is not because of you I might still be
staying at my old parent’s house. Now, I have a good job, I want to buy my
parents a new house...I really hope that they will like it...are you free now? I
will be happy if you can give me some advice...How are you? ...Are you still
teaching at my old school?”

Yet, some habit still remains.

On that day, we talked and talked till late. She sent me home and
left me her number.

A month later, she called me.

“Teacher! I am going to overseas! I am going for my PhD and I am

also offered a scholarship for my studies. Oh! I’m so thrilled! I could hardly
talk”

I doubted that.

“That’s wonderful! I’m sure that you will be fine there.”

“I’m kind of nervous, I’m not sure whether I’ll manage to adopt
there...” she trailed off.

Well, that was the first time she had nothing to say.

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 My Life as a Teacher 11

“I trust you. You need to have some faith in yourself. You’ll be

wonderful.”I said soothingly.

This time she sounded sad.

“I’m not sure; some people think that I’m doing a foolish thing. They
think it is a waste to resign when I have a good position at the bank.”

“So?”

“I’m considering what they say”

I sighed.

“And you are letting them rule your life?”

She sounded surprised.

“I am not”

“What do you want to do then? Really...”

“I want to go”

“Go then. This is totally one shot deal. Remember, you are not
going to get the same chance later, and another thing that I want you to
understand, never listen to other people when it is regarding your life”

She seemed to be smiling.

“You’re the only one who agree with me, teacher. Thanks.”

“Think about it, will you?”

“I will teacher. Don’t worry, the second I have made my mind, you’ll
be the first to know” She sounded more like herself when she said this.

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 My Life as a Teacher 12

Our conversation ended there.

It was two agonizing days. I was anxious, waiting for her call.

Then on the third day, she came to my house.

I rushed to open the door. Urging her into my living room, I almost
pushed her to sit on the rattan couch.

“So?” I asked impatiently.

She took a while to answer. I knew my eyes were wide. My heart

was beating hard against my ribs by the suspense she created
unintentionally. I mentally count the seconds that passed. After two
hundred and sixty four seconds, she looked up.

“I’m going to United Kingdom for my PhD, teacher”

My tears spilled and I hugged her.

“Congratulations, I’m very proud”

She returned my hug.

“Thank you teacher, for opening my eyes, for broaden my

perspective in life, you have changed it when you first entered my classroom
and I’m grateful that I was in it”

I just managed to nod in sobs.

Then, after a few weeks I received a letter from United Kingdom.

Dear teacher,
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 My Life as a Teacher 13

I get these from a book that I have found in a

library. You might have heard it before, but still, I
think it suits you well.

You have changed a future every time

you enter a classroom.

Thank you for the change that you have made

for my future.

Yours sincerely.

Nadia’

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 My Life as a Teacher 14

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