DATING AND COURTSHIP

Prepared by:
E. M. JAMILLA
UST Institute of Religion

The selection of
ones life partner
is an on-going
process which
requires time and
reflection. It is a
great mistake to
think that it is
possible to
choose the
partner and
celebrate the
wedding in a few
days.

Between the
moment in which
two youngsters
decide to go
along together
and marriage
there should be
different stages,
so that they may
strengthen their
decision and lay
the foundation of
their future family
life.

DATING

Dating is the occasional spending of time together by

a boy and a girl for the purpose of companionship, of
getting acquainted, and for some kind of
entertainment, usually without any intention of
marriage.
- Excelso Garcia, OP

A date is a special event

between the couples
because it always implies
certain amount of intimacy
between the couple,
although the degree of
intimacy may vary from
slight to very great. No
matter how casual the
date, however, the
implications of choosing
and special caring always
exist.

Functions of Dating

Recreation adolescents have fun and enjoy each others

company

Status seeking a means of gaining status or prestige

Socialization getting together help adolescents to relate to
different types of persons, especially the opposite sex, to get along
with them and to assist in their learning good manners and other
kinds of social behavior.

Kinds of Dating
Friendship Dating going out
together making new friends

Random Dating also known as

casual dating; sought only for
recreational purposes and usually
there is no intention of marriage.

Group Dating when several boys

and girls, usually in pairs, go to a party
or picnic, movie or just drive
around.

Double Dating initially may

include two couples, usually friends of
one or both of the other party. It
provides some mutual security in
keeping their activities friendly and
within the bounds of decorum, and
enables the sharing of familiar
situations.

Courtship
Courtship denotes the special kind of
relationship between a man and a
woman, which precedes marriage and
serves as a preparation for it.

The first step in the

process of selecting
a mate is called
courtship. This
refers to the attitude
of a man and a
woman who begin to
take special interest
in each other and
try to attract each
others attention.

It should be clear that the

first experience of
courtship need not
necessarily end in
marriage. There may be
other encounters before
the right person is
selected. Therefore
courtship should never be
considered as a binding
commitment, but as a
starting relationship
which can be broken off
at any moment.

For a successful marriage the need for a convenient

period of courtship should not be undervalued. It
provides two people with the opportunity to test each
others feelings, ideas and orientations to life so that they
may decide whether a life together will be possible and
fruitful.

One preparing for a lasting relationship

should Requisites
bear in mind that
and
Other
ofopenness
Courtship
sincerity are essential. Both partners should
strive for mutual understanding.

Courting couples should determine whether they truly love

each other. They should know how to express their
affection in a chaste and dignified way and should seek the
spiritual formation they need in order to undertake the task
ahead of them responsibly.

Role of Parents during Courtship

Parents do not need to be
excessively anxious about their
sons or daughters entering into
this kind of experience. What is
important on their side is to
accept the fact, to watch
carefully its developments and
to be ready to talk freely about
what is positive or negative in
it. Instead of opposing it, they
must be able to play also on
this occasion their role as
educators by advising and
guiding them.