Sample Essay

Task

The charts below show the relative amounts of waste treated by various methods in three different countries.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

You should write at least 150 words.

Macmillan Publishers 2004.

 Sample Answer

This three charts show amounts of waste treated in Germany, Japan and USA.
Each country are different. In Germany, they treat most waste by landfill, and
second is incinerated which is also treated a lot. They treat some by recycled, but
not so much as landfill or incinerated. In Japan, three quarters of waste is treated
by incinerated, which is the biggest level in all the three countries. They also use
quite a bit of landfill, but much less than Germany, and recycled is only a little.
The third country, USA, is very different from the other countries, because
there they use most landfill for more than half of all the waste. But they use some
recycled and some incinerated, although not more than the other countries. For
the modern world and global warming, recycled is best, so we can see that Germany
is the best country for treatment of waste.

Macmillan Publishers 2004.

 Examiners Commentary

Task fulfilment
Q. Are the main points required all covered? Are any missing? Are there irrelevant sections? Are the tone and
register appropriate?
_______________________________________________________________________________________

A. This answer is just long enough. There is an attempt to cover the information but the content would be much
better if actual percentage figures were included: it is difficult for the reader to really understand what is
happening without them. Only two attempts are made to use actual figures: three quarters and more than half,
but these are not enough to provide a proper sense of comparisons between the countries. At the same time,
the final sentence may be regarded as irrelevant; this kind of commentary is not part of the describing that the
task requires. The neutral tone and register are appropriate to the answer.

Coherence and cohesion

Q. Has the information been arranged in a clear and logical way? Is paragraphing used effectively? Are linking
devices used effectively?
_______________________________________________________________________________________

A. Each country is described in turn, which is an acceptable approach. The first two sentences comprise a brief
introduction. There is no attempt to use paragraphing. Linking language is represented by two uses of but,
although there were plenty of opportunities to use language such as in contrast, on the other hand, in a similar
way, etc.

Vocabulary and sentence structure

Q. Is there a good range of vocabulary? Is the vocabulary appropriate? Is there a range of sentence
structures? Is language used accurately?
_______________________________________________________________________________________

A. The range of vocabulary used is not very wide, but it is mostly correct. Several sentences are higher than
the most basic level for example, the 4th and 5th and 7th sentences which increase the effectiveness of the
answer. There are a number of errors, which reduce the overall effectiveness of the answer. Those in the first
half of the answer include:
1st sentence: This should be These.
2nd sentence: are should be is.
3rd sentence: the second part of this sentence needs to be something like and the second most common
method is incineration, which accounts for 36% of all waste treated.
4th sentence: some by recycled should be 16% by recycling.
5th sentence: incinerated should be incineration, and biggest should be highest.

Macmillan Publishers 2004.

 Band score

This answer would be likely to receive a band score of approximately 5.

Macmillan Publishers 2004.