Runninghead:OUTOFTHEBOX 1

OutoftheBoxAssignment:TheElderly

NatalieWineholt

TheUniversityofSouthCarolina
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Iwoulddefinemycomfortzoneasbeingsurroundedbypeoplewhoaresimilarto

meinmostways.WhenIamcompletelycomfortablearoundothers,itwouldinbein

situationsinwhichweallspeakthesamelanguage,weareallaroundthesameage,we

alllikethesamethings,andweallpracticethesamereligion.Theentiretyofmy

schoolingpriortocollegewasinallgirlsprivateCatholicschools,wheremyclassmates

andIwereverylikeoneanother.Weallworethesameuniforms,wewereallChristians,

wealltookthesameclasses,andweallknewtheysameboysatourbrotherschools.I

wasverycomfortable,andIvaluedhavingareliableroutineinlife.WhenIcameto

college,mycomfortzoneexpandedenormouslyandrapidly.Fromdailyinteractions

withboysinclasses,tomeetinggirlsfromalloverthecountryinmysorority,to

discussingreligionopenlywithmyresidencehallmates,Iwasgivennumerous

opportunitiestogrowmycomfortzone.However,threeyearsaftermyfreshmanfallin

college,Iamstilloperatinginarelativelysmallcomfortzone.Allofmyfriendsare

Caucasian,intheirearlytwenties,whoattendalargestateuniversity,andpartakein

relativelymainstreamthingssports,Netflix,drinking,andsocialmedia.Iamproud

thatIhavemovedoutsideofmyoncetinycomfortzone,butIrealizethatmycurrent

comfortzonehasnotexpandedquitetowhatIwouldhopeitwouldbe.

Onespecificpopulationthatliesoutsideofmycomfortzonewouldbetheelderly.

Inparticular,theactivityofspendingtimeandtalkingtothispopulationisespecially

uncomfortableforme.Inevermetmypaternalgrandparents,andmymaternal

grandparentsaredivorcedandeachlivesixhoursfrommyhomeinoppositedirections.
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Duetothesecircumstances,Ineverreallyhadtheexperienceofspendingtimewith

seniorcitizens,andwhenIamconfrontedwithasituationthatrequiresinteractionwith

thispopulation,Iusuallyavoidit.IoncepretendedtohavethestomachflusothatI

wouldnothavetogotomyexboyfriendshouseonChristmasEve,justbecauseIwas

nervousthatIwouldhavetotalktotheoldermembersofhisfamily.Ifeltasthoughwe

wouldhavenothingincommontotalkabout,andIwouldbeleftfeelingawkwardand

unwantedintheconversation.Iwasalsoafraidthattheywouldattackmeformyviews.

Ingeneral,Imaintainaliberaloutlookonmostpoliticalandsocialissues,andIthought

thatallseniorcitizensmaintainaconservativeoutlook.Whilestatisticallythisistruefor

mostseniorcitizens,generalizingtheminthiswaywasnotconducivetomemaintaining

anopenmind.Iknewthatworkingwithseniorcitizenswasgoingtopushmeoutsideof

mycomfortzone,andIwasafraid.

Myfirstobstacleinworkingwiththispopulationwasfiguringouthowtomeet

withthem.Iamnotoriginallyfromthisarea,soIhadtoresearchdifferentnursing

homesaroundthearea.Luckily,oneofmyfriendsiscurrentlytakingphysicians

assistantclasses,andiscompletingherclinicalhoursatLifeCareCenterofColumbia.

Shewarnedmethatvolunteeringisalongprocessthatinvolvestestingforvarious

diseases,backgroundchecks,andlettersofrecommendation,butthatinsteadtheyhave

visitingtimeonceadayforfamilies,andthatIcouldjustcomethenandvisitoneofher

strongerpatientswithher.Iwasreallyhesitantatfirst,butIrealizedthatthiswassucha

perfectopportunitythatIhadtotakeitandfacemyfear.Shetoldmeabouthowsweet

allofherpatientsare,howmuchherteacherslovetheirjobs,andhowexcitedsheisto
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workthereonceshefinishesherprogram.JustlisteningtoKelseytalkaboutthepeople

theremademerealizethatitispossibletospeaktothesepeopleandstillbecomfortable.

SinceIdonthaveclassesonFriday,Igottothecarefacilityatnoon,whichis

wellwithintheirvisitinghours,andalsowhenKelseywasstillworkinghershift.She

broughtmeintothemaindiningroom,whereallofthepatientsweresittingtogether,and

thatwasthefirsttimemyheartstartedtorace.TheonlythingIcouldgetthroughmy

mindwashowquietitwas.Hardlyanyonewasspeaking,andiftheywere,itwashushed

mumblingthatwasnearlyoverpoweredbytheracketcomingfrombehindthekitchen

doors.Italsosmelledlikethepotroastthattheywerecooking,andmyveganstomach

wasturningattheodor.ItwasexactlywhatIhadpictured,andIdidnotwanttohave

anythingtodowithit.Kelseywalkedmeovertoawomansittingalone,andintroduced

hertomeasJerry.ShethentoldherthatIwasherfriendfromschool,thatIwasgoingto

keephercompanyforlunch,andpromptlyleft.Iwasfeelinganxious,intrusive,

awkward,anduncomfortableingeneral.Ihadgonefromtalkingwithmybestfriend,to

whomIamsoalikeinsomanyways,tosittinginsilencewithawomanmorethanthree

timesmyage,withoutacluewhattosay.

Luckily,Jerrywastheperfectpersonforthisassignment.Imsureshecould

sensemydiscomfort,becauseaftermaybeaminuteofnervouslaughter(fromme),she

startedaskingquestions.Notjustgettoknowyouquestions,butJerrygenuinely

wantedtogettoknowme.Sheaskedmewhatmygoalswereinlife,whatcountriesI

wantedtovisit,whatcommunitiesIwantedtoserve,whereIwantedtolive,andmore.

Shelistenedsointently,andofferedamazingadvice.Asitturnsout,Jerryslate
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husband,David,wasaninternationallawyerwhohadpreviouslyservedinthe

DepartmentofState,whichisacareerpathIhaveseriouslyconsidered.Jerrytalked

aboutmovingforherhusbandsjob,havingtoraisechildreninthreedifferentstates,

meetingpresidentBush,andotheraspectsofthejobthatIwouldnothaveeventhought

about.Shegavehumanqualitiestothisloftycareergoalofmine,andbroughtmeback

downtoreality.Sittingwithher,Irealizedthatheragedoesnotdefinewhosheis.She

maybephysicallyunabletosupportherselfanylonger,butshestillhadamindlikea

steeltrap.Ihadbeenexpectingthispersonwhowouldbereadytoattackme,orworse,

justignoreme;andinstead,ImetoneofthemosthelpfulpeopleIhavecomeacrossin

SouthCarolina.

Thepurposeofthisactivitywastogetmeoutofmycomfortzone,anditworked

perfectly.Walkingintothehomesdiningroomwashonestlysomethingoutofmy

nightmares.However,whenIwalkedoutnearlytwoandahalfhourslater,IfeltlikeI

couldwalkintoanysituation,andIwouldbebetterpreparedthanIpreviouslywas.Ican

nowviewtheelderlyascitizenswhohavelivedfulllives,whoknowmorethanIdonow,

andwhocanofferadvicefarmoreworthwhilethanmyfriends.

Inthisprocess,Ilearnedalotmoreaboutmymorals,values,andideals.Asa

Christian,IroottheseaspectsintheBibleandthelovethatJesusChristoffers.Ivalue

servicetoothers,justiceforallinGodskingdom,andthedignityofhumanlife.After

thisexercise,IrealizethatIwasnotlivinguptothevaluesthatIthoughtIhadinmylife.

Ididnotlovetheelderlywell,eventhoughtheyarejustasmuchchildrenofGodasIam.
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Now,Icanapproachseniorcitizenswithaservicemindset,andholdmyselftoahigher

idealofunderstandinganddignity.

TheNASWCodeofEthicsrelatesdirectlytothisexercisebecauseIexperienced

firsthandthevaluesofsocialworkersthatthecodeliesoutasbasicrequirements.For

example,thevalueofserviceandtheethicalprincipalthatfollows:thatsocialworkers

primarygoalistohelppeopleinneedandtoaddresssocialproblems.Jerrymaynothave

beenindireneedofbasicnecessities,butshewasinneedofcompanionshipand

relationship,whichIbelievearejustasimportanttoapersonshealthasfoodandshelter.

Iservedherbysimplylisteningtoherstoriesandansweringherquestions,allthewhile

knowingthatIwasfulfillinganeedinherlife.Also,theNASWsvalueofthe

importanceofhumanrelationshipsandthebeliefthattheserelationshipsareavehiclefor

changewereevidentinthisexercise.Jerryhasphysicaltherapyandtelevisionandfood

andwater,butthosedonotrepresentafulllife.Jerrydeservestohavesomeonetotalkto

andspendtimewith,justasmuchasshedeservescleanwaterandabed.IamgladthatI

recognizedthisimportanceofhumanrelationshipsamongtheelderly,becausebeforeI

mighthavebrusheditoffasunnecessarybecausetheycannothearwell.

Ifthiswasagroupactivity,Iwouldhavegonethroughtheprocessofbecoming

anofficialvolunteer,becauseagroupofcollegestudentswalkingintoanursinghome

wouldbealotmoreobviousthanjustmewalkinginalone.Wecouldalsorentoutoneof

thesmallergamerooms,andpostaflyersharingaboutwhenwewillbethere,and

offeringtheservicesofcounselingorevenjustconversationtothepatients.These
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visitationscouldhavethepotentialofturningintoalongtermpartnership,andIthinkit

wouldbeworthitforbothsidestoparticipateandlearnmoreabouttheother.

Inconclusion,theelderlyasapopulationdonotmakemeasuncomfortableas

theyoncedid.Ionlyhadthisonehelpfulencounter,butIknowthattherearemanymore

opportunitiesoutthere.Justbecauseapersonisolderthanme,andbecauseittakesthem

alittlelongertoprocesswhatisbeingsaidintheconversation,doesnotmeanthatthey

areweakorunderservingofmytime.Afterthisexercise,mycomfortzonehasexpanded

toincludetheelderly,andIamabletoviewthemasahumanpopulation,withreal

thoughtsandemotions,deservingmytimeandempathy.IfIweretopursueacareerin

socialwork,nursinghomeswoulddefinitelybeaspecialtythatIwouldlookinto.