The Manual Your Child Should Have Come With - How To Develop Your Child's Genius

The Manual Your Child Should Have Come With How to Develop Your
Childs genius
The Manual Your Child Should Have

Come With
How to Develop Your Childs Genius
By
Esther Andrews
http://www.all-gifted-children.com
(About the hyper-links in this book: I have checked them at the present time, and
they all work. However, please understand that some of the links connect to pages
that dont belong to me. Since I have no control over these web sites, it is possible
that in the future, some of these links will not work.)
This book is copyrighted. If you are holding a version that

was copied and not directly downloaded from
http://www.all-gifted-children.com, please let us know at
esther@all-gifted-children.com.
Thanks!
Copyright 2006 all-gifted-children.com

All Rights Reserved
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Childs genius
Table of Contents
Forward by Peter Shepherd 4
Introduction 9
A Word About Gender Issues 10
Give Me a Baby Any Baby and I Will Turn It into a Genius 12
Children are Able to Learn Much More, Much Faster than You
Think 13
A Personal Note 17
Love 17
On Whose Side Are You? 18
The Parents Are the Natural Teachers 20
To Push or Not to Push - That is the Question! 21
Follow Your Childs Lead 26
You Cant Teach a Baby the Same Way You Teach an Adult 28
Avoid Boring Your Child 29
Children Hate to Be Tested 30
The Myth of the Geek 31
The Myth of Stress and Frustration and Other Myths 32
When to Avoid Doing Any Planned Educational Activities 35
Learning is Fun 35
Self Confidence - The Deciding Factor 38
Make Sure Your Childs Teacher is Trained in Teaching His

Specific Age Group 42
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Time Management For Busy Moms and Dads 43
Goal Setting and Project Management for children. 47
It is OK to Make Mistakes 49
Different Intelligence Types, Different Leaning Styles 50
Toys As Part of Your Child's development 51
This Right Brain - Left Brain Issue 53

Whole Brain Development - The Shichida Method 58
Visual Discrimination 60
Teach Your Baby to Read 64
Improve Reading Comprehension 68
Help Your Child Read Faster, Comprehend More and Remember

Better 69
Improve Your Child's Eyesight - Improve Your Child's
Intelligence 73
Auditory Discrimination 77
Languages 79
How to Teach Your Baby Math 80
How to Build an Abacus 86

General Knowledge - Super Important 88
Teach Your Baby to Swim 90
Gymnastics and Gross Motor Coordination 95
Fun Activities While Increasing Intelligence 97
Learning to Apply Information 101

It's Time to Go to School 102
Health, Food and Nutrition 107
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Music - a Superior Tool for Brain Development 108
The King of Games - The Game of Kings 111
Relaxation and Yoga for all Age Groups, and Parents Too. 115
How Can I Motivate My Child? 118

Training Your Child for Success 123
Help for Slow Learning Children 127
How to Help Your Child Cope with World News 129
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) - a Useful Tool 131

Developing Concentration and Focus 134
Developing Leadership Qualities 137
One Step Farther 139
IQ Testing and Identification of the Gifted Child 147
About Giving Thanks and Appreciation 153

Children and Money 142
IQ Testing and Identification of the Gifted Child 147
Giving Thanks and Appreciation 153
Conclusion 154
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Childs genius
Foreword
By Peter Shepherd
Are we all born equal? The short answer: yes, but not the same, not
by a long chalk.
All persons have the same qualitative make-up; we are born equal in
this respect, as recognized in the values of Equality, Fraternity &
Brotherhood. All human beings have the same reflexes, instincts,
drives, needs, capacities, and rights; all have the same powers of
perception, discrimination, attentiveness, retentiveness, reasoning,
and so forth.
The differences between persons are quantitative rather than
qualitative. Equality is to do with our qualities that we all share, but
not the degree to which they are developed.
Behavioral psychology has installed the idea that we inherit all of our
traits, and besides the modifying effects of cultural conditioning that
we stay basically the same as our genetic hard-wiring dictates. Thats
true if you dont do anything about making positive change, if you
dont recognize the aspects of yourself that are more than animal.
Recently many have recognized this possibility and they are looking for
valid information that can help them make positive changes.
We each differ in the degree of our various spiritual, mental, emotional
and physical abilities, and in the manner in which the amounts of the
various traits combine in our individuality. A wide range of aptitude,
personality, learning and intelligence tests will show differences as
high as 25:1 from person to person, with a characteristic bell-shaped
distribution curve, in much the same way as physical characteristics
are varied.
It is these quantities, which are such an important factor in personal
competence, creativity and ultimately our success in life, that personal
development courses aim to increase. It is through our differences that
we are able to express our individuality and achieve unique goals.
However, according to expert reports, the average score on the SAT
(the Scholastic Aptitude Test used in the USA for university entrance)
has fallen by at least 20% over the last 30 years. Three students out
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of four at university have failed to reach the level of formal

operations, which is the ability to formulate hypotheses and
systematically test them to arrive at an answer to a problem. To be
able and creative with abstract ideas, in other words - skills that are
needed to live an interesting and original life.
The majority are stuck at a concrete level of thinking, in which they
can only think usefully about actual physical objects. Outside of a
particular context the underlying principles do not transfer. Abstract
reasoning is beyond them, or uncomfortable for them, so they are
unable to fully participate and profit from education at a higher level.
These are the students who cannot apply what they have learned,
because the abstract and the concrete are two unconnected things for
them: the result is a mind-body split.
Why has this occurred? Young people read far fewer serious books
today and spend less time in intellectual discussion; in contrast, they
spend many more hours in watching TV programs with little or no
intellectual content: MTV, soaps and basketball. Many young people
have been brought up on the 30 second sound bite and pap, so their
attention span is shorter than it was before, their vocabulary is much
reduced, and many fail to achieve communication competence. The
pleasure principle has taken over from the reality principle; immediate
gratification rules supreme. They do not have the disposition to think
abstractly nor the training to do so well. They can be cogs in the
machine but cannot have significant career prospects nor play a part
in an innovative company.
Even for those of us who had a good education, if we forget all that we
learned and never exercise our mental skills with new and challenging
tasks, our reasoning ability and effective IQ will deteriorate. We may
have an established expertise at work but for most of our time make
the minimum mental effort. It is a fallacy that IQ and mental capacity
is inbuilt and unchanging. Like physical fitness, if you dont use it you
will lose it!
As yet, this downward trend continues and the situation deteriorates
with each year that passes. Ultimately, this could even spell the end of
our free democracies, which require participants to have an aware and
critical mind. Can anything be done about it?
Yes, for those that care, it is possible to get an education even at an
advanced age, and to build up the mental skills one had before or
which were never properly developed. Fortunately it is possible to
develop our skills, talents, maturity and intelligence to high degrees,
using appropriate techniques. For example, a wide range of mind
development techniques work very well to develop the faculties of
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vision, communication, concentration and will, learning and reading

skills, logic, memory, intuition and creativity. Such methods work for
adults, so at any time a person can revitalize their life and move in a
direction that is, at last, truly fulfilling.
Even more importantly, techniques to improve mental and emotional
intelligence may be taught - in appropriate formats - to developing
infants, such that their convention education is enhanced and their
natural development is both accelerated and guided toward the best
possible outcome for their future happiness and achievement.
Emotional intelligence is vital to success and happiness in the real
world, but is rarely taught at school - it is up to parents to teach these
skills both to themselves and to their children. There are many
important aspects of behavior - reflecting emotional intelligence - that
you can teach your kids, by example, that will be invaluable for their
future lives.
I feel that it is a mistake to belittle the differences between individuals
due to a fear of being seen as judgmental or non-accepting of a person
who has little of certain qualities. It is much better to be realistic
(which is truly to be non-judgmental and accepting) and recognize the
strength and weakness of our various qualities. Then we can take
advantage of the opportunities which are available to develop and
improve ourselves, toward the goal of fulfilling the unique potential
that each of us possesses.
What advantage is it to send a young person out into the world with a
head full of knowledge but without the confidence to use it effectively,
or the ability to grapple with lifes problems with that inner stability
and optimism which alone can bring success?
The most important thing your child can learn is that you love them
unconditionally, without judgment. That is the rock on which their self-
assurance will be built. We need to demonstrate that love by listening,
genuinely listening, to our children. By never imposing our own
evaluations, instead asking appropriate questions to guide the child to
see objectively for themselves. And never making the child wrong
when they give their opinions or make mistakes, and try to discover
their own unique identity.
Secondly, a child (and each of us) needs to learn that we create our
emotional responses based on our interpretation of things. No one
makes me angry - I make myself angry based on the way I choose
to look at things. That is usually highly influenced by the way I have
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been taught to look at things, especially by my parents, so if we hope

for our children to be emotionally intelligent, we need to be ourselves,
and we need to base that intelligence on a world view that is open
minded and flexible, based on facts and observation, not prejudice and
our own cultural conditioning.
It takes time and experience for a child to learn to understand and
control their emotions, and to take responsibility for their beliefs, their
reactions and behaviors. For this they need guidance and a good
example. You.
The supportive knowledge and know-how is readily available and this
book is a prime example. Esther has worked hard for many years to
research the theory and practice of child development and most
importantly has put the principles into practice to aid her own
childrens development. She has had great results! She has been
sharing some of the methods she learned and found to be most
effective on her web site and in the present volume she has put
together a wide and coordinated collection, to help you bring up a
happy and successful family.
Peter Shepherd is author of Transforming The Mind. Trained as
a rational-emotive and transpersonal psychotherapist, Peter
combines these techniques in his own system of
transformational psychology, applied to personal development
rather than therapy. His web site, Tools For Transformation, is
dedicated to introducing the best available resources to free us
of the shackles of the past by re-awakening awareness of our
true identity, and so being fully conscious in the present
moment.
http://www.trans4mind.com

All Rights Reserved
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Childs genius
Introduction
It is my birthday. We are sitting at the dinner table, dining, chatting
and having a good time. Both my children have presents for me, which
they hand to me with a smile. I open the first card, from my son Eric,
and read: I love you very, very much, and I appreciate all the
wonderful things you do for me, and how you take care of me and look
out for me. Have a wonderful birthday. Love, Eric. At 19, Eric has just
completed his first degree in Mathematics at the top of his class, at a
top college in our state. He is now choosing a graduate school for his
Ph.D. program. Professors from schools all over the country are calling
to try to recruit him into their programs. He is being offered full
scholarships, teaching, and research positions. Tammy, my daughter,
is a very successful, renowned child psychologist. She works with
autistic children, and is able to create change in their lives. She gets
them to achieve things for themselves, nobody else can get them to
achieve.
The conversation is flowing, and I am basking in the atmosphere of
love and warmth around me. I am looking at my children, and stop the
conversation to say: I just want you to know, that I am feeling so
happy tonight, looking at you, two successful, gifted young adults, as
human beings. I am so satisfied and happy with the way you turned
out. This is a high point in my life! I cant help reflecting on the past
I was standing in the hospital, looking at the little crib in front of me,
and the tiny little baby inside. The baby was crying with a very faint
voice, moving her legs and arms, and looking at me, directly into my
eyes. What a tiny baby! I picked her up very carefully, looking at my
own baby, trying to bond.
Another young mother, who happened to pass by on her way to her
baby, stopped, and said: You are picking her up without holding her
head? You have to hold her head! Confused, I looked at her, and
asked: I have to hold her head?
Yes, I was a fresh mother, and had no idea how to take care of my
baby. I didnt even know how to hold her, and needed someone to
come and show me how to change her diapers.
In my family, there were no other babies. My twin sister and I were
born to my mother when she was 40, and had no little siblings as we
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grew up. My parents friends and relatives did not have babies either,
so I had no previous experience with babies at all.
The only thing that I did know was this: I want to give this child the
best chances in life, I want to develop this child into the best that she
can be.
When I returned home from the hospital with my newborn daughter, a
few days later, I started reading all the books on parenting I could get
my hands on, and started forming my own opinions about parenting
and about the development of a young child. I found and interviewed
parents of gifted children. I asked myself: what is it that the gifted get
from their parents (or their environment), that contributes to their
excellent skills.
It took some time, but finally I developed my own way of educating a
child, and started applying it to my daughter Tammy. Many friends
and family members, some of whom were experienced parents,
criticized me and offered advice, and I listened but I stuck with my
own methods. My husband, an angel really, gave me free reign, and
let me do whatever I thought was right, but occasionally he looked at
me with raised eyebrows and asked if I was sure I didnt want to be a
normal mother.
When Eric was born, 5 years later, I felt like a veteran mother, rich
with experience and self-confidence. What a wonderful feeling it was! I
stuck with my own method, adding to it and adjusting it as I
accumulated experience and knowledge.
A few years later, I opened the School for Gifted Education, which I
ran for many years, until my son Eric started his college education.
A Word about Gender Issues
2 things Id like to mention:

1. Throughout this book, I refer to a child as a male. This is not
because I forgot about girls after all, I am one myself! It is not
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because I think that girls are inferior in any way, it is just an arbitrary
decision I have made, for the convenience of the reader and the
writer. Instead of saying he or she every time, or him or her, I
prefer to write it in this format. This book refers to girls as well as
boys, females as well as males.
2. Here, in the US, I have noticed that more boys than girls tend
towards the sciences. This is not true for some other countries, where
the number of female students in the sciences is equal to male
students, or sometimes even exceeds it. Here, in the US, (and I am
sure in many other countries), many people happen to think that boys
are better in Math and the Sciences than girls, and some almost
naturally assume that this is the case. I happen to think that this is not
true. Much has been written recently about the fact that the female
brain is different than the male brain, and that they function
differently. That maybe true, but that doesnt mean that girls cant be
good scientists. Maybe girls and boys learn Mathematics differently,
but both could be excellent Mathematicians! People seem to think that
girls are more creative, boys more analytical. Well a mathematician,
or any other scientist, needs both creativity as well as analysis. My
point is girls, as well as boys, can be excellent scientists.
Much has been written about the fact that in schools here in the US,
the teachers encourage boys to study the sciences, while the girls are
encouraged to study humanistic subjects, Psychology or Social
sciences, the girly sciences. As a parent, it is our job to keep all
options open for our children. If you have a girl, the best you can do is
try to shield your girl from this damaging approach. Encourage your
girl to study math, physics and other sciences, teach her science and
tell her she can study any subject, she can take up any profession. All
of us together, lets eliminate this discriminating approach once and
for all.
I suggest that you teach your daughter the sciences starting at an
early age. Find books about biology, physics, teach your child
mathematics, chemistry, astronomy any science you can. It is your
job to make this very interesting and enjoyable. Use visual aids, get
videos on the subject, go to science museums, do interesting science
projects together. Seek out lectures about science, science summer
camps, seminars that are available in your area. Check out kids
Universities. Do whatever you can to involve your girl with the
sciences.
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When I was a child, I was always extremely interested in Medicine. As

a very young child, I sought after books about Medicine; I read
everything I could find. When I was still in high school, friends started
to come to me to ask me medical questions. At that time, I already
had a very deep general knowledge about Medicine and Anatomy.
When I was a senior in high school, I had to decide what I wanted to
study. One conversation with my mother is stuck in my mind forever. I
had just told my mother that I would like to study Medicine, to become
a surgeon. My mother told me that a woman cannot be a good
surgeon. Why? I asked, and my mother proceeded to explain that
women, because they had a monthly cycle, cannot concentrate well a
few days a month, and cannot perform surgery on those days. I was
baffled, because I was one of those blessed women, who never had
any problems concentrating or any other problem during my monthly
cycle.
I must explain here that my mother was a great, outstanding woman.

She was a fashion designer, and a brilliant one. She had been a
professional at the period of time when many people thought that
womens place is in the kitchen. She was a progressive thinker, and
had razor sharp mind. She was respected by everyone who knew her.
But in this case, she was expressing the thought of the time, the
common belief. But what a hug wash! What non-sense that was!
Thankfully, nowadays we have women doctors, surgeons, pilots,
soldiers, and everything else. Please, make sure you encourage your
daughter to be the best that she can be, make sure that she is not
affected by this illogical, chauvinist thinking.

All Rights Reserved
Give Me a Baby Any Baby and I

Will Turn It into a Genius
I believe that its in the genes. Nothing you do can change it either
the baby was born gifted or it wasnt. Thats what people say to me.
They claim that my children are gifted, because they have my
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husbands genes and mine, and ask me if my IQ is also high. Well, it

just so happens that my IQ is high. But I totally disagree with their
stance. So please let me explain, and keep your mind open.
All Children are born geniuses. I repeat: all children are born
geniuses!
When a child is born it is born with a great potential. But in order to
achieve his potential, he has to be fully developed.
I tend to agree that because of heredity, babies are born with different
potentials. But all of us are using just a fraction of our potential, so our
potential doesnt even come into play! What is really important is how
much of our potential we are really achieving. Let me give you an
example: lets say that John has a potential of 150, and Michael has a
potential of 100. This is, of course, a big difference! However, Michael
has a dedicated mother, who provides the best education for him from
an early age, and he achieves 50% of his potential; he will practically
function at the level of 50. John, who did not get the special
education that Michael got, uses only 10% of his potential, so he
performs at the level of 15. Did you get it? Michael, who has a much
lower potential than John, actually appears to be a genius compared to
John, because he performs at a much higher level. Here we have two
people who perform at the level of 15 and 50. Their potential doesnt
even come into play! So for the time being, forget about the genes
and the birth intelligence of your child, and concentrate on helping him
achieve his maximum potential. If you succeed in that your child will
be ways ahead of the pack, no matter what his birth intelligence is.
Please, let me share with you what I have found that works to develop
a childs intelligence, his skills and ability to succeed in life. I will
provide you with an abundance of ideas, and you can pick and choose.
Please dont feel obligated to use all of the ideas. Dont feel guilty if
you cannot fit all of these activities into your schedule. RELAX! Just do
the activities that seem fun, the activities that you and your child
enjoy, the ones that fit easily and comfortably into your schedule. But
if your child is not thrilled with the idea of doing a certain activity
dont toss it out! Try the activity again later, and see if he is interested
in doing it then. Your child will be interested in different things at
different times.
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Children are Able to Learn Much More,

Much Faster than You Think
Popular talk show hosts love bringing children who have special skills
and abilities onto their shows, to sing and perform, to showcase their
achievements. In the newspaper you can occasionally read about a
child that has some unusual abilities. I recently read about a child who
at the tender age of 12 is already graduating from a famous college.
All these children are all treated like an accident of nature.
I recently read about a very talented, gifted child and his
achievements. The mother told the reporter that very early on she
discovered that her son was gifted, and unusual. She is a piano
teacher, and her baby used to be around during her music lessons.
One day, when the child was only two, after rehearing, she had left
the room, and when she came back, her son was standing at the
piano, playing the music she had just rehearsed.
Was her son born a musical genius? Was it a coincidence that this
child, the musical genius, was born to a mother who is a music
teacher? He inherited the music gene from his mom, you will say.
But the mother is not a genius, just a simple music teacher! How come
the son is a genius?
A little boy, only 5 years old, is playing chess in the national scholastic
competition. He wins the grand prize. His father is telling the reporter
that very early on, he discovered that his son was a genius at Chess.
The father is a chess player himself, and used to take his baby with
him when he went to the chess club. The little boy used to watch the
chess players, and listen to their comments.
Was this child, by a strange coincidence, born as a chess genius, to
a chess player?
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Again the father is just an ordinary chess player, he is not a genius!

(In fact he wasnt even a chess master).
I think not! I am here to argue that a childs learning capacity is far
beyond what we usually imagine. I am here to say if you keep your
baby in the room when a music lesson is going on, he will develop
surprising musical abilities. If you take your baby to watch the chess
players, your baby, too, will develop an understanding of chess, and
an outstanding ability to play chess. Your baby is learning at an
amazing speed, from his environment, from what he hears and sees.
Since your baby doesnt talk yet, you have no idea how much he has
learned while observing you.
This is my shocking and wild announcement: Give me a healthy
baby any baby! A baby of whatever background, with
whatever genes! I can turn that baby into a gifted and talented
young adult, by applying the same techniques and activities I
have applied to my own children.
It is common knowledge that children learn very fast. Everybody
knows that they learn a language early in life, and they show amazing
skill in doing that. However, when we observe young children learn,
we are always amazed. Why? Because we naturally assume that
children are limited in what they can learn and understand. Two things
contribute to this: children, especially when they are very young and
cant speak yet, learn very fast, but they cant communicate to us yet
what they know and what they understand. Also, we naturally assume
that childrens ability to learn is similar to our own. If we learned to
read at the age of six, we assume that children cannot learn to read
before the age of six.
My parents generation seemed to believe that children should have
plenty of rest, and when you teach children and keep them busy, you
excite them, and take away their much needed rest. When my mother
visited me when my children were young and saw the variety of
learning activities and learning materials they had, she said that I was
over-exciting my children. The fact is that my children were very
happily learning and actively researching the world around them. They
got all the rest they need, and loved learning.
I am 11 months old, sitting in my crib. Next to me is my twin sister,
looking at me with her huge brown eyes, observing all of my moves. I
am starting to climb on the side of the crib, pulling myself along the
wooden edge. My mother is working in the adjacent room, in her
workshop. We were put in our room to rest and take our afternoon
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nap. I am not sleepy in the least, and have the need to do something,
to learn something new. The few toys that we have in our crib are old
and simple. Too simple: they dont provide the opportunity to learn
anything new. I must do something, move around, be busy. As I keep
climbing around the crib, I suddenly slip and fall on the tile floor, and
hit my forehead. My mother rushes in, picks me up from the floor; her
face shows deep concern. I hear her later telling my father how scared
she was. I clearly remember the sharp pain in my head.
I have a clear memory of this experience. I remember the pain in my
forehead after falling, but even worse was the experience of boredom.
The feeling of boredom to a child is very difficult indeed to endure.
Putting a child in a crib, with nothing to learn, is as cruel as starving a
child; it causes the child deep suffering.
Here is the truth: children can learn much more than what we learned
in our childhood. For many years, parents were not aware of childrens
capacity to learn, so they did not provide their children with the
opportunity and the materials to learn all that they could. Moreover,
parents werent aware that if you teach your child early enough, and
provide for them the opportunity to learn, their brain will develop
faster and better.
When my daughter Tammy was just a little baby, I started discovering
babies capacity to learn, but I found it hard to believe. I tried to teach
her to read, but had no idea if what I was doing was working or not. I
was ready to give up, when a friend, Sarah, visited me. We sat in
Tammys room, and she noticed the flash cards and started laughing
at me, saying that I must be crazy to attempt to teach my 12-month-
old baby to read. It cant be done, she said. I guess Tammy didnt like
the fact that Sarah made fun of me, because she took the flash card
that read mommy, brought it to Sarah, and said: Mommy! She
then put that card back in the pile, and brought the card that had her
name on it, and said Tammy. Sarah looked at me, shocked, and said
that if she had not seen it with her own eyes, she would have never
believed it. Honestly, I was surprised too!
Do you know that you can easily train a child to distinguish between a
card with 89 dots on it, and one that has 90 dots, just by looking at it?
I know that it is hard to believe, because you cant do it, and I cant do
it. But a baby can.
The capacity of a child to learn, and the speed with which they learn is
nothing short of amazing. But if you never try to teach them, you will
never find out.
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A Personal Note
I am not a child psychologist. I am a mother, just like you. The

reason I am writing this book, is to share my knowledge and
experience with other parents, who could benefit from it. Nothing that
I tell you in this book is a theoretical recommendation, a result of
scientific research in the laboratory. It is not how I think it should be,
or what I think you should do. All this is a result of real experience as
a mother, tried and tested in my home, in the real world, with my
children, and many other children I have observed over the years. My
children and their friends are now young adults, and it is easy to see
the results of our work as parents.
I had a goal just like you to give my children the best chances in
life. I took responsibility for their education. I sent my children to
school for several years, and home-schooled them for several years
too, but I saw it as my responsibility to stay in touch with the
teachers, to update myself on what was going on in school. I saw it as
my responsibility to find out about all the opportunities available in our
community for extra-curricular activities, for enrichment, for learning.
If you inform yourself of whats available, and let others know about
what you find, other parents will let you know about their findings.
Together, you will be able to provide the best programs for your
children.
I have benefited from networking with other parents. Thats how I
found out about Lyceum, a wonderful program in my local area. It
started with a group of parents, who wanted to enrich their childrens
education.. If you dont find plenty of enrichment programs in your
area, get together with a group of parents who share your views, and
organize a seminar series. You will be delighted with the results.
With the help of the Internet, it is much easier than ever before to
search and find out about suitable enrichment programs for your
children, in your area. If you are looking for a specific activity or a
specific product, you can always start your search on our web site,
which is dedicated to providing you, the parent, information about
resources and activities. Additional services will be developed over
time. I am planning on starting a directory of activities by geographical
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area, which you will be able to check periodically, and also add a chat
facility so that parents can communicate with others about their
experiences with their children, and also ask questions. Please make it
a habit to check our web site, at http://www.all-gifted-children.com
often.
Love
If you ask me the very significant question: What is the most
important thing a parent can do for their child? I will say without
hesitation: Unconditional love. Before we speak about intelligence,
before we speak about skill development, before we speak of potential,
before we speak about productivity we have to think about the
childs emotional health and happiness. Dont we all want our children
to be happy and healthy? The foundation of parenting, is giving your
child the warmth and love he needs.
Families are different, cultures are different, and personalities are
different. Some people find it easy to express love, some find it
harder. We all express our love in different ways, and that is alright.
But we all have to make sure our child knows that we love him. Here is
the promise I gave my children: I am your mother, and I love you. No
matter what you do I will still love you. I may be upset at you
because of an action you took that I dont like but I will always love
you.
I recently had a conversation with my daughter Tammys boy friend,
Logan. Logan was worried that I didnt like him, because a day before
he did something I was upset about. I told him the same words:
Logan, I treat you just like I treat my own children: I might be
upset about something you have done, which I disagree with. But no
matter what you do I love you, and I will always love you. Logan
started smiling again, and gave me a hug.
On Whose Side Are You?
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As a child, I had a recurrent dream. A person wanted to harm me. The

persons changed, according to the story of the dream. Once it was a
pirate, at other times it was a thief. But the story was always the same
a person who wanted to harm me approached my parents and asked
to talk to me in the other room. I desperately ask my parents to
protect me, but my parents let him take me into the other room and
kill me.
At times I have thought about this dream, and wondered where did
it come from? I have not been in danger as a child. My parents were
the most generous, loving, supportive parents one could have. Why
did I have this recurrent strange dream?
Then it dawned on me: my parents always believed other adults
instead of me, and often seemed to be on their side in the
conversation. On these occasions I felt abandoned and betrayed.
Let me tell you a somewhat entertaining story about an incident that
will demonstrate this point. My twin sister Dora and I were playing on
our apartments balcony, and munching on corn on the cub. As we are
looking down to see what is happening in the street underneath the
balcony. Accidentally, my corn fell out of my hands, and to my horror
landed on top of one of the cars parking on the side of the street. The
driver, who happened to show up exactly at that moment, and as you
can imagine showed up at the door. My mother opened the door,
and the man told her what had happened. Only in his version, I had
thrown the corn on purpose at his car, and nearly missed him. Being
twin sisters, Dora and I looked very identical, and he was pointing at
my sister as he was telling the story. My mother, without saying a
word, walked to Dora, and slapped her on the face. Understandably,
Dora has been very upset, being the innocent bystander that she was,
she started stating that it wasnt her, when I whispered to her: You
have already gotten the slap, what will it help you if I get a slap too?
Dora accepted the slap quietly, without protesting.
Even though the story is humorous, you probably are left with an
uncomfortable feeling of the injustice that was done. My mother has
believed the man blindly, no questions asked.
In general, children want to make their parents happy, and prefer to
tell us about positive things, so that we can be proud of them. They
naturally hesitate to talk to us about negative things, like conflicts. But
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when your child knows that you will be on his side, no matter what, he
will be much more inclined to speak to you about problems that come
up, or conflicts that he faces. This will lay a foundation for a very
secure, unshakable relationship between you and your child, a
relationship that will prove most valuable for years to come.
The Parents Are the Natural Teachers
Have you observed nature? In nature, the parents, very often the
mother, teach their offspring all they need to know about the world
around them. They teach them the skills they need in order to survive.
The mother bird teaches her babies how to fly. The mother lion shows
her babies how to hunt. The mother duck is teaching her ducklings
how to swim and find food. There is no doubt in nature, the parents
are their childrens first teachers.
In our society, we send our children to school, and expect the teachers
to take responsibility for our childrens education. However, as
parents, our childrens education is our responsibility. Our children
learn from us, before they ever get sent to school. They start learning
at the moment of birth, and there is evidence that they learn even in
the womb.
In new research it has been shown that the parents have much bigger
effect on their children than teachers will ever have. Our children learn
their first words from us, learn from us their first language (several
languages, if we teach them), they observe us and learn how to deal
with anger. They learn their core values from us. Our children learn
from us whether we are aware of it or not, whether we take
responsibility of their education or not. If we leave the responsibility
for their education in the hands of their school teachers and dont take
an active role in it, what we teach our children is that education is not
important.
If we dont purposefully, in an organized manner, tend to our
childrens education at an early age, we miss a great opportunity. At
this age, the child is like a sponge (you have heard that before,
havent you). Even though we might not see the results immediately,
if our child doesnt speak yet, he absorbs and learns everything we
teach him at a lightening speed. We can take advantage of this special
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time in his life to develop and sharpen his talents and skills, increasing
his intelligence.
When we take responsibility for our childrens education, when we put
the effort into it, plan it and actively participate in it, the results are
fantastic. There is nothing better in life than the feeling of pride in our
own children. There is no better feeling than watching our children
grow up to be talented, gifted, successful, genius young adults.
To Push or Not to Push - That is the

Question!
It is Saturday night. Eric is checking his e-mail on my

computer, while I am watching television. Suddenly I hear a
loud noise coming from my office, and so I am running to see
what the commotion is all about. In my office, at the computer,
my son is jumping up and down, laughing and cheering. He
points at the computer screen, as he dances around the room. I
look at the computer screen, and there is the report of the
grades Eric has gotten on his last semester classes. He had
several As and one A+. It is the A+ that he is so happy about.
It was an advanced course that happened to be quite difficult.
In the semi final test, the cut-off percent for A was 65%. Eric
has gotten 96% on the test. The final test was as hard, but
from Erics final grade it is clear that he has succeeded. This is
his first semester in his PhD program. He completed his first
degree last year, and has never gotten a grade under A.
It is not easy to bring up a child. Children dont come with a manual or

a tutorial. We all want our children to be healthy, happy and
successful. We all want to do the right thing, to provide the best for
our children, and we all make the best decisions we can. Obviously, we
make our decisions based on our own personality.
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Are you ambitious? If you are, you will have a tendency to have high
expectations from your child, and try to encourage him towards
success and achievement. If you are not, you will prefer to assume a
more relaxed position.
Today, my son came home from college for a visit. I admired his fresh
hair cut. He told me the following anecdote. He said that while cutting
his hair, he had a chat with the hairdresser. The hairdresser found out
that he is a student, and she expressed her admiration. Then she gave
him advice. She said: I will give you the same advice I give my
children dont try to get the best grades, just try to pass. My son
was smiling, and said, Mom, I am sure you are not going to like her
advice.
No, I dont like it. When she tells her child (or mine) not to try to get
the best grade, instead just to try to pass what kind of a student do
you think her child will be? Do you think that he will get many As?
That he will excel? Maybe she doesnt want her child to be stressed.
Maybe she doesnt want to push. But in my opinion, she is setting her
child up for mediocrity, at best. Throughout his life, her child will strive
to pass, to put the minimum effort in order to achieve the minimum
necessary to pass. I fail to see this as a good strategy. When you
expect your child to excel, you also let him know that you think that
he is capable of excelling. Isnt that the best encouragement you can
provide?
Glenn Doman, a well-known author, came out with a revolutionary

idea: how to teach babies reading, Math, and general knowledge. He
worked with brain-injured children, and found out that when he
applied his methods they improved tremendously, and some times
they developed better skills than well children. Then he asked himself
the question: if these methods help brain-injured children, why
wouldnt they help healthy children just the same, or even better?
As a result of his studies and the very popular books that he has
written, many parents have started working with their children,
teaching their babies reading, Math, general knowledge and more.
Parents started putting together schedules that were too busy, too
tiring, schedules that did not leave time for anything else. Many child
psychologists have written and spoken against these methods, and
expressed the opinion that children need to rest, they need time to
think, to create ... to have fun. Psychologists, teachers and parents
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have made up their minds that parents who teach their children are
pushy.
I too, have been called pushy, by my sons schoolteachers. When

Eric started going to Kindergarten, he expected to learn lots of new
things. You know how little kids at this age are - they are excited
about learning! My Eric was so excited about going to school. Imagine
how disappointed he was when he found out that he was not learning
anything new. Eric was reading books at home, while in kindergarten
they were just reciting the sounds of the letters. He could add,
subtract, multiply and divide, but in kindergarten they were only
counting up to 5!
One day I had to pick him up early for a dental appointment, so I

walked into the classroom, and saw Eric sitting there, while the other
kids were reciting the sound of the letter P, and he made a gesture at
me, saying, I dont know why I am doing this.
The next day, I had a talk with the teacher, and explained how excited
Eric was about going to school and learning, and how disappointed he
is now that he is not learning anything new. I said that I was
concerned about destroying this enthusiasm about learning and
school, and asked if there was anything she could do, to provide some
good learning experience for Eric.
This was an expensive private school, and there were only 12 children
in the class. Even though I thought that it was a very reasonable thing
to ask, and I can assure you that I was very respectful, polite, and
sincerely expressed my concern without any criticism, the teacher said
that there was nothing she could do. She had 12 kids in the classroom,
my son was not the only one, so she had no time to customize any
program for him. Aside from that, he did not know all the songs that
she was teaching the kids, so he didnt know everything she taught. In
addition she expressed her concern that I might be an abusive mother,
one who pushes her son too hard.
When my daughter Tammy was in 6th grade, I became concerned

towards the end of the year, when it seemed to me that in her Math
class, They are not going to complete covering all the material they
needed for Junior High.. I was concerned that when she went on to
Junior High, she would not know the material she was supposed to
have studied in Math, and would have difficulty keeping up with her
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peers, who came from different schools. So I went to talk to her Math
teacher.
When I had brought up my concerns, the Math teacher said: It

doesnt really matter what material we cover in this class, the kids in
my class are not good in Math anyhow. This answer completely
shocked me, and as I was searching for words, she added: I dont
want to push the kids too hard.
In my kids schools, I have met with an attitude of Lets not stress the
child. An attitude that made clear to the children, that we dont
expect much from them. I think that when your child knows that you
expect wonderful things from him, it provides motivation and
encouragement. It tells your child that you believe in him, that you are
sure that he can do it. As a result, your child will believe in himself and
his abilities.
I remember being called aside by my teacher in school. He said,

Esther, I noticed that the effort you are putting into studying in the
last few weeks subsided. Is there a problem? If not, I would like to
encourage you to increase your efforts. You are a very talented
student, I would like to see you achieve your high potential. Isnt this
a much more productive approach from a teacher?
I am a great believer in what these two teachers called pushing -

encouraging a child to succeed, encouraging a child to do his best. I
believe in working with your child, telling your child that everything
that is worth doing - is worth doing well. Tell your child that he can
excel, that the sky is the limit. Encourage him to dream big, to persist,
to take on challenges.
What does pushing mean? When does a parent push too hard?
Where is the limit?
When I hear the word pushing, in my mind I see a very distinct

picture. I see the image of a respected neighbor, his body bent over
his little girl, yelling into her little red face, a face that has an
expression of horror. It was at a swim competition of our
neighborhood cabana club swim team. The little girl was an excellent
swimmer, one of the best we had, but in the last competition she did
not get first place for some reason. Her father took her aside and was
reprimanding her severely, for not being super-focused on the goal:
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getting to the other side of the swimming pool first. The expression on
his little girls face said it all: horror and pain.
When a parent is pushing, he is making an unreasonable demand. He

is putting unfair pressure on a child, causing frustration and fear.
Almost every child wants to please his parents. If an impossible goal is
forced on a child, the pressure on this child is unfair and
unreasonable.
When a parent is severely reprimanding a child for not achieving a

goal, he is causing feelings of failure in a child, maybe also feelings of
despair. The child may feel that he has put his full effort into the
activity, and still has not succeeded; a reprimand on top of that may
be devastating, discouraging and altogether negative. It may result in
damage to the self-confidence and self esteem of a child.
When a parent encourages the child to succeed, provides incentives,

and celebrates any small achievement with the child, when he provides
the information and knowledge necessary for a child to learn, when he
provides training - is he pushing the child? If the parent helps a child
achieve success in areas the child is interested in, is he pushing? My
answer is a resounding NO. When I taught my child Math when he was
younger than most children are when they learn that information, have
I been pushing him? Have I been abusing him? When I taught my
son to read when he was 2 years old, was I pushing him? No way!
My son enjoyed every minute of it! He derived pleasure from reading
his book, from being praised by us, from having succeeded.
It is clear that there is a distinction here. There is a difference between

teaching, encouraging, helping, providing information - and pushing
- demanding unfair and unreasonable results, forcing a child to
perform tasks that he is not interested in, doesnt want to do or isnt
capable of doing.
In conclusion - pushing a child is bad, but encouraging, motivating

and providing information is great for your child. Using the Follow
Your Childs Lead technique will make it easy to keep everything fun
and balanced. Make sure you dont overcrowd your childs schedule or
yours, and enjoy!
In this context, I remember a cute story my very good friend Sam told
me. Sam is a mother of three extremely gifted children. Each one of
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them tests at the genius level, each of them graduated valedictorian of

their class in high school, and each of them is a graduate student, at
different phases of their educational path. Sam spent a lot of time with
her children, when they were young, managing their activities.
Sams daughter, Andrea, was in second grade. She participated on a

swim team, and was a very good swimmer. One competition, she was
behaving in a very strange way. Her parents noticed that she kept an
eye on the other children who were swimming in the same heat. Most
of the time, she was ahead of the pack, but towards the end she
stopped, and let 2 of her competitors pass her. As she arrived number
3, she came out of the water, smiling. Her parents asked her to
explain her strange behavior: Why did you let those 2 kids pass you,
Andrea? I already have a blue ribbon for first place, and a yellow
ribbon for second place, but I dont have yet a purple ribbon for third
place, and Id like to have a purple one.
Follow Your Childs Lead

My little neighbor Owen is a very bright boy. He is so much fun, always
fascinated by one subject or another. Right now he is very interested
in firefighters, and every time he hears or sees a fire truck, his asks
his mother to stop and give him the opportunity to look at it and
research it. Christina is a very intelligent young lady, and she enjoys
Owens interests very much. She has a collection of books about the
firefighters and their equipment. She sits with Owen for hours every
day, reading the books and looking at the pictures. She enjoys role-
playing with Owen, where he is the firefighter and she is an innocent
bystander. Since Owen is very interested in firefighters at the
moment, everything Christina does with him is somehow connected to
firefighters. She is teaching him to recognize words all related to
firefighters. They look at pictures and discuss the smallest details (to
improve visual discrimination). They talk about historic events related
to firefighters. They even learn about different countries, their
cultures, and their firefighters.
One of the techniques that worked best for me was exposing my child
to many subjects, and then following his lead. I provided lots of basic
information and activities in many subjects, and then watched my child
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to see which ones he showed interest in. For example, in elementary

school, I had enrolled my son in a Numismatics (coin-collecting)
seminar. Immediately when we got home after the seminar, he started
looking for information on different coins, and started reading about
methods of determining the condition of a coin. He looked for books at
the library, he checked the Internet, he found seminars on the subject
and took the initiative to sign up ... he was definitely interested. He
also took a horseback riding session: he had fun, but didnt show any
special interest in continuing this activity.
Obviously, when a child is interested, you dont have to work hard to

motivate him. Go with the flow, and let your child learn what he is
interested in. Every skill that is acquired aids in your childs
development. When my son studied Numismatics, he also learned
about the historical background of the coins, Geography, and many
other subjects.
Expose your child to many activities, and many topics. Watch your
child, to see what he is most interested in. If your child shows interest
in a certain topic or activity, follow his lead. Provide everything needed
in order for your child to study that particular topic. This is definitely
the path of least resistance! Your child will enjoy himself, and you will
enjoy yourself too.
Children are interested in different topics at different time periods. For
example, children at a certain phase in their development start
dancing when they hear music. That is the period of time when they
are developing their sense of rhythm. At that period of time, children
are interested in listening to music, watching a band play, looking at
the musical instruments. This is an excellent time to take your child to
open concerts, or to music lessons. Take him to dance lessons, or
kiddy gymnastics. Any activity that is related to music and rhythm will
be very enjoyable and beneficial at this period of time.
If your child is interested in a certain topic, you can combine with it
learning about associated topics. If we look at our previous example,
when your child is interested in musical instruments, you can teach
him to read the names of those instruments. This way, you are
teaching your child to read, taking advantage of his interest in musical
instruments. You can talk about the geographical area these
instruments came from, teaching Geography and history. You can
show the globe or an atlas. You can combine many disciplines with the
topic that is your childs obvious interest at the time.
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You Cant Teach a Baby the Same Way

You Teach an Adult
My little Tammy is running all over the room, a crayon in her hand,
papers lying all over the floor, busy producing a masterpiece. She is
not looking at me; on the contrary, she seems to be all focused on the
job at hand, painting on the papers. I am reading a book to her,
wondering if she is even hearing me, let alone understanding what I
am reading to her. So I stop, look at her picture, and prepare to get
up. In my mind, I am planning what I am going to cook for dinner. To
my amazement, Tammy stops what she is doing, turns around looking
at me, and repeats the whole last page that I read to her. She says:
what happened next? Surprise! She was listening to me the whole
time.
A friend, Josh, was telling me about his little girl, 24 months old. She
was so smart and cute. He was telling me about the funny and cute
things she said the day before. I asked him if she could read already,
and he looked at me annoyed and said, She is only two years old.
Yes, I said, why dont you teach her how to read?
Esther, your son may have been a genius, but my daughter is not
interested in learning how to read yet.
How do you know?
Well, I already tried to teach her how to read, but she didnt sit
quietly and listen, she got up and wandered around the room, playing
with her toys.
Josh, how did you try to teach her to read?

I sat her down with a book, and tried to teach her the how to read.
But she didnt show any interest, she got up after just a few minutes,
and started wandering around and playing with her toys.
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This method will meet with failure every time, I can assure you. You
can, sometimes, expect a 7-year-old child to sit down for a little while
and listen to you, but a normal toddler will not sit down and listen to
your lecture, I can almost guarantee it.
In order to teach a baby, you have to use methods that work with
babies. Using the standard methods that are used in school for older
children will not work for your baby.
Avoid Boring Your Child
Eric loves Math. He is 4 years old. Today we talked about

addition, and it seemed to me that he had the concept well
mastered. We worked with blocks, and I made 3 groups of 2
blocks, and I said if you want to add them, what do you get?
Immediately he answered 6. So I said: Eric, look, there are 3
groups of 2 blocks, we can say 3 times 2 is 6. It occurred to
me that he could learn multiplication at this time. Eric looked at
me, smiled, and said: Ah, so then if you have 6 blocks, you can
arrange them in 3 groups of 2 or 2 groups of 3. I couldnt
believe it! I said: Yes, and that is called division. 6 divided by
2 is equal to 3. And 6 divided by 3 is equal - 2!, he said.
Keep in mind that your child learns much faster than you think. Your
child is very young, and his attention span is still short. When you
teach a young child, you have to move fast. If you are too slow, he will
lose interest. Work with small bits of information, just a few minutes at
a time.
Always stop before your child actually wants to stop. Always leave him
wanting more. This way, you keep your child interested. Think of a
soap opera. When does every episode end? When it is most
interesting, so that the viewers tune in the next week to watch, right?
In just the same way, you want to stop teaching your child when he is
still interested. Many people tend to work (or should I say play?) with
their child as long as he is interested, and stop with the first signs of
boredom or tiredness. This is a mistake, because then you always stop
when the child is tired or bored. Stop before the child is tired, and it
will be much easier to get your child interested the next time.
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Children Hate to Be Tested

Eric is reading many words already. I have been using flash
cards and when we drive around, we play a game of reading
the brand names on the cars in front of us. He already
recognizes Ford, Toyota, Mazda, Honda, Mitsubishi and the like.
Every time we stop at a traffic light, he announces the name of
the car stopped in front of us. He never errs.
Today, I have visitors from out of town. Riding with me in the
car is a family member, enjoying my kids. I like to brag about
my little Eric, just 18 months old and already reading words!
We stop at a traffic light, and I ask Eric what car is this? In
front of us is a car with a big Ford sign on the back. Eric hardly
even looks at the car: with his eyes on my guest, he proudly
announces TOYOTA!
Most children hate to be tested (not to mention when we show them
off!) If you test your child often, if you expect him to answer questions
repeatedly, you will lose your childs willingness to learn.
It is difficult to refrain from testing, I know, because you want to know
that what you are doing works. You want to get some feedback.
Dont worry, you will! Have some patience, and your hard work will
pay off. When you least expect it, and when he is ready, your child will
start reading aloud, or follow your reading with his finger, or read to
himself when you happen to peek through the door. But your child
most likely will not enjoy being tested repeatedly.
Work with your child, without testing. Believe that what you are doing
works, have faith. Trust me, you will not be disappointed. Avoid
testing your child, and wait until he is ready to demonstrate his skills.
Occasionally, you can give your child the opportunity to participate, in
a way that he will demonstrate the skills that he has developed. This is
more difficult to do when your child is not yet speaking. You can lay
down 2 flash card in front of him, and say one of the words on the
flash cards (or numbers, or whatevers on the flash card). If the cards
are in arms reach of your baby, he might grab the appropriate card to
show you. If this happens celebrate! You got great feedback.
However, if your child grabs the wrong card, or no card at all, that is
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OK! That does not mean that your child doesnt recognize the card, it
just means that he didnt feel like playing. Please, dont give up! When
the time is right, you will see the benefit of your work with your child,
and it may take some time. Be patient, the results will show!
The Myth of the Geek

My dear friend Chris is a big fan of my son. He always tells friends
how much he likes Eric. He tells everybody: Eric is such a nice kid. He
is so smart, a real genius. But the most amazing thing is he has a
great sense of humor, and he is real cool, not a geek, like you would
expect a genius to be.
Many people, when talking about the gifted have a very unpleasant
picture in their mind. They think of a child who is maladjusted, one
who is thin, wearing thick glasses, one who has no social life, no
friends, one who sits in his room and arranges the dead butterflies in
his collection.
I think that the media has created this image, and it is widespread
today, in kids and adults minds.
Please allow me to destroy this myth. Highly gifted children are usually
nice, many of them handsome, well adjusted and happy children,
cool children who have lots of friends, children who excel in sports,
children who are normal, friendly; in short nothing like the geek
that is depicted in movies and on television.
There is a very simple, logical explanation for it! A child who is highly
intelligent, finds it very easy to study, does not have to struggle in
school, has a lot of interests, and enjoys learning, will obviously have
more fun than a child who has to struggle, a child that has to work
hard in order to succeed. A child that has an easy life, of course, will
find it easy to smile, to be friendly, to develop a positive outlook and
strong self-confidence.
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The Myth of Stress and Frustration

and Other Myths
My neighbor Catie is from Germany. From Catie and from others in
Europe I have heard the idea that when you teach a child too early
you take away his childhood. Catie said that she doesnt want to teach
her young child math, even though he has shown interest and asked
questions, because she wanted to let him be a kid a little bit longer.
What? Who said that when you teach a child math you take away his
childhood? A child cant be a child and know math at the same time?
Do you take away his childhood if you teach him how to read? I dont
understand the logic behind this myth, and it leaves me completely
perplexed.
People assume that teaching a child early in life has to cause stress
and frustration. Nothing is further from the truth! People, and even
professional child psychologists, comment on some parents who
overload their children and force on them a schedule that does not
provide any resting time for a child. That does not have to happen.
I agree that a child needs resting time. I agree that a child needs
some time in the day to calm down, relax, imagine and think.
There is no need to overload a child, or to create a schedule that
forces you to be on your way non-stop, running from one activity to
another, from one teacher to another. You can easily plan some easy,
fun and relaxed activities that will provide the opportunity for your
child to develop their skills and abilities.
I recommend always being alert and watch your child. If your child is
having fun and enjoys himself, everything is alright. If your child
doesnt seem to be having fun, or simply refused to participate in one
of the activities, drop this activity for a while. You can try again later,
but drop it for the time being.
Dont misunderstand! I think that its great if you can take your child
to swimming classes, kiddy gymnastics, violin or piano lessons,
language lessons, ballet and all those wonderful opportunities for
children to learn and grow and develop. I think that its great to do all
the activities that you think your child will be interested in and enjoy. I
have taken my children to as many activities as possible! I just dont
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think that you have to do everything at once! You can definitely plan a
schedule that provides enough resting time for you and your child, and
enough time for your child to develop his ability to entertain himself,
to think and to engage his imagination and creativity. You can do all
this in joy and pleasure. There is no need to stress yourself or your
child.
As to stress and frustration, this is all completely erroneous! I find that
letting a child be bored creates far more frustration than engaging him
with interesting activities, activities that provide the appropriate
learning, that engage natural curiosity, interest and ability to learn.
I can tell you about my own experience as a child, of hours and hours
of boredom, of suffering in school, due to the slow and repetitive
teaching. I was bored out of my mind! Math classes were awful: the
teacher was repeating the same concept again and again and again,
trying to make it clear to the slowest students in the class, while I was
sitting there, feeling that my patience was completely exhausted.
Do you know that many of the kids that are tested for Attention Deficit
Disorder (ADD) are children who find it hard to sit still while they are
completely bored? Many of our schools receive funds and resources for
the special education students, the ones that are slow, but they do
not receive nearly enough resources to take care of the gifted
students, the children that need some more stimulation and extra
activities to challenge them.
When my son Eric was in second grade, we were fortunate enough to
have a wonderful special program at his public school, named
Discovery Program. An award-winning, gifted teacher, Mr. Stadtler,
had initiated this program with some other excellent teachers,
combining a group of Special Education kids with a group of regular
kids and a number of gifted students in one classroom, in order to take
advantage of the Special Education resources. Mr. Stadtler created a
win-win situation for all the students in the program.
In this program, the teachers assessed each child at the beginning of
the year. They grouped the kids by ability, and then they devised a
customized plan for each group. My son formed a group with one other
student. Both tested at the 12th grade level in Vocabulary.
The teaching started, but after some time I noticed that Eric had not
had a Vocabulary class in about two weeks. So I went to talk to the
teacher, and asked about the plans for teaching my child Vocabulary.
The teacher told me that they had children who came from poverty-
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stricken homes, where the kids did not even get a breakfast to eat
before they came to school in the morning. He said some of the kids
were hungry, some had experienced abuse, and ended with a
question: Who do you think am I worried about more: a child who has
no food at home, and cant study because he is hungry, a child who
doesnt even know how to pronounce the letters in 2nd grade, or your
child, who gets everything he needs at home, special enrichment and
after-school activities, who tests at the 12th grade level in English
Vocabulary?
I definitely understood the argument; I am concerned about the
children who are underprivileged, and am interested in them getting
all the attention and resources they need; but what about the other
special education children, the children who need special enrichment,
who need to be challenged with accelerated programs? Are they not
entitled to have their needs met?
There is another myth that I would like to mention here. I have heard
many parents tell me that they are reluctant to teach their child how
to read too early, because they dont want the child to be bored in
school, thus having behavioral problems. This is a valid concern, which
I have already mentioned before. However, dont you think that by
avoiding teaching your child how to read earlier, you are actually
defeating the purpose? In addition, the chances are that if your child is
smart enough, he will be bored in school anyhow! So what is the
solution?
I think that all of us, parents of talented children, have to be activists
and advocates for our children. We need to demand to have special
programs for the advanced children in school. I know that schools
have small budgets nowadays, but I still think that schools can do
much better than they are doing. Our children deserve to have their
needs met, just like all children who go to school.
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When to Avoid Doing Any Planned

Educational Activities
We want the child to associate learning with fun and great feelings of
achievement, celebration and enjoyment. Only work with your child
when your child is happy, in good mood, feeling great physically. If
your child is hungry he wont be able to concentrate and enjoy the
learning experience. If your child is tired or cranky for any other
reason, he will not be able to enjoy himself while learning. Even worse,
he might associate the bad feeling with the learning!
If you are not feeling well or if you are in a bad mood, you will not be
able to enjoy the experience. Children are very smart, as we already
established, and they are very sensitive to their parents mood, if you
dont enjoy yourself your child will know it, and will not enjoy the
learning either.
Avoid doing any planned educational activities when your child is sick,
hungry or not feeling well.. If your child is hungry, it is wise to stop
the activity you are engaged in, and feed him, before you proceed with
the learning activity. Also, when a child is tired, after a sleepless night,
dont attempt to do any educational activities. Let your child rest, and
resume your activities when he is rested.
Learning is Fun
Eric is 19 at the time I am writing this chapter. He just completed his

first degree is Math, and is starting on his PhD. He still loves studying
Math, and occasionally comes to me all excited, telling me about this
or that elegant proof or solution for a problem. Although my
background is also in Math, I dont always understand what he is
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talking about, and I have never been as good as he is now. Today we

had a conversation, and he told me how a friend of his was studying in
a Junior College. So Eric told me that the friend complained that her
studies were very hard, and he laughed. He said: Mom, this is so
funny. She doesnt realize that studying in Junior College is not hard at
all. Even studying for your first degree, or in graduate school, is not
hard. It is just fun!
You want your child to be a life-long learner, dont you? So teach him
that learning is fun! If your child views learning and studying as work
or as an unpleasant activity, one that bores him and that causes him
to be tested and compared to others all the time (and nobody likes
that!), he will avoid studying, and prefer to do other activities. Make
sure you convey to your child the idea that learning is fun and
enjoyable. Knowledge and discovery are exciting!
Have you ever watched a child who is excellent at a game? I have
noticed that some kids can be brilliant playing a game, but will not
excel in the classroom. Thats unbelievable. If a child is brilliant at a
game, I guarantee that this child can be brilliant in academics. The
only reason he excels at the game, and not in his academics, is
because he views the game as fun, and studying as work.
Eric, in our conversation today, told me how easy studying is. You
play all the time. And then he stopped, thought a little bit, and said:
Well, some of that play might be math, but it is still just playing and
having fun.
I know that this may sound very strange to you, if you have been used
to the idea that studying is hard work. It is not my intention to brag! I
just want to demonstrate the fact that what seems to be very hard to
one student seems to be a childs play to another, only because the
latter views studying as fun and games.
Here is another story that proves that learning can be fun, it just
depends on the attitude of the participants. It is Lees birthday. Lee is
10, and all excited, she is waiting for all her little friends to come for
the party. She has a famous entertainer: my daughter Tammy, who
has developed her own puppet show, and is performing at birthdays all
over the area. The experienced performer is only 12. The birthday is
a big success, 35 kids, 10 years old, showed up, and now it is time for
the show. They all are gathered in the living room, sitting on the
floor, watching the show. Its a big success, since the kids are asking
for more. Tammy had prepared a puppet show, planned to perform
for about 20 minutes, and now she ran out of material, as the children
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are demanding some more entertainment. Tammy has a big problem,

but without hesitation, she is calling Lee in front of the crowd. The
birthday girl steps forward, participating in the performance. Tammy
is asking her about the book she recently read. Lee brings the book,
and Tammy asks her to tell everyone about the book, and what she
read. Lee proceeds to tell about the book, and gives a book report.
Every teacher would be proud of her. The children are having lots of
fun, one by one they are coming to the front of the room, to give their
own book report. All around are the parents standing, watching with
amazement at their children having big fun, being entertained, by
giving book reports! That day, Tammy has entertained the children for
45 minutes! A 12 year old girl, holding the attention of 35 ten year old
children! Believe it or not the children told us later that they had
great fun!
Take things lightly, enjoy the learning yourself, your child will
follow.
Celebrate achievement! Make sure that you take time to celebrate
every little achievement. Celebrate learning. Give your child a hefty
amount of praise and show your appreciation and joy every time your
child achieves success, or masters a piece of information or a new
skill. What looks like a small step, or a small achievement, maybe a
big step forward. Any achievement is a cause for celebration, award
and enthusiasm.
Dont ever criticize; do let your child know that he is wonderful, that
he is learning, and developing his skills and himself. Learning and
getting education is investing in oneself. Make sure your child knows
that!
Here are a few ideas how to make learning fun.
Give your child your full attention. When it is time to do a learning
activity, dont let other things interrupt. Dont answer the phone,
unless you are waiting for a very important phone call. Dont wash
dishes, while your child is learning, or read the newspaper
concentrate on your child and your child alone.
Whenever possible, turn it into a game. Eric, my son, loved board
games and liked to compete. Tammy, my daughter, did not like
board games or competition, she just liked to play with me, she
liked it when we worked on the activity together. In each case, I
have always devised a game that fit their styles of learning. For
Eric, I prepared a game ahead of time. It could be a board game, a
card game, or any other creative idea I could think of. I always let
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him win (fun). Tammy was very creative, so I prepared markers or

water colors, to make a masterpiece that depicted the material we
wanted to learn. We have written stories together, about the
material we learned. Even when we studied Math, we always
envisioned a story that described our Math problem. We turned
every exercise into a word problem and a story.
Show real enthusiasm, be light hearted, and enjoy!
Dont see it as your duty to point out mistakes and errors.
Concentrate on the right facts instead, let your child discover his
mistake by himself.
Education is an investment in oneself. I must admit that I was

spoiled as a child. I was born into a wealthy family, and had never
experienced lack. I went to a private high school in an affluent
neighborhood, and viewed going to school as a necessary evil. I did
quite well in high school, but never really appreciated it. One day, I
met Daisy, the daughter of a lady who was employed in my mothers
business. Daisy studied at a night school, during the day she had to
work in order to pay for her tuition. I was so surprised to learn how
hard Daisy studied, in order to complete her high school education!
This girl really understood the concept of investing in oneself. She
had worked hard to earn the money to pay for her tuition! She really
understood the value of her high school education.
This encounter made me think! I realized how I and many of my
spoiled friends viewed school as work, and the opportunity to take
a day off as play. We viewed school as something that was forced on
us. While this friend put in a whole day of work, in order to pay for her
high school education, and in the evening she sat in a classroom, and
viewed learning as an opportunity. That was a big lesson for me.
Self Confidence - The Deciding Factor
Ruth was one of my best friends in elementary school. She was not
the most talented student, nor the most intelligent. She was not the
best student in class. But she had great confidence. She had this
special attitude of I can do it. Later, after graduation, she went on to
work for a corporation. I followed her career, when she went up the
corporate ladder, and finally landed a very prominent, central position
at her company. I saw her take on projects that took major skills, I
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thought she didnt have. She just attacked each project using this can
do attitude, and she always found the right resources to either
acquire the skills she needed, or found the right people to take on the
assignments she could not perform herself. I was amazed at her
achievements.
From observing Ruth and many other people around me in my career,
I learned a very important lesson: ones confidence determines ones
career. A person can be a genius. He can be most qualified for a job. If
he doesnt believe that he can do it, he might not even take on the
assignment in the first place. If he does take it on, most likely he will
not be as successful as he could be.
Just a few weeks ago, I had a conversation with Tammy, another
friend of mine. She is a very talented psychologist, very respected at
her work place and by her superiors. She told me about a position that
has become available at her office. I thought that it would be a
fabulous opportunity for Tammy, but she said that she is not going to
apply for this position, because she doesnt have enough experience,
she does not have the skills needed, and it will take at least another 5
years for her to be able to fill this position.
Whether Tammy was right or not in her assessment, I think that this
incident proves my point: confidence is a deciding factor for how
successful one will be.
So how do we make sure our child develops strong confidence in
himself and his capabilities? In my opinion, this is one of the major
issues in parenting. All educators need to ponder this and make sure
they support confidence.
Here are a few suggestions that can make a huge difference in your
childs confidence:
1. You can do it. Say it to your child often. Teach your child to say to
himself, when he attempts to conquer a challenging assignment:
I can do it.
It is very noticeable that when working on a Math problem, again,
confidence is the deciding factor. A student who doubts his own
ability to solve the problem, may not apply himself in trying to
solve the problem. He will easily say I cant do it or its
impossible to solve this. A student with strong confidence will keep
trying until he finds the solution.
Help your child, by reminding him that he can do it. Teach him to
say to himself, I can do it!
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2. Dont criticize your child when he attempts an activity. Dont correct

him. It is so tempting to correct a child, when you see him doing
something wrong. You watch your child coloring, or trying to
write, at an early age. He is holding the pen in an awkward
position, and your mind is screaming You hold the pen like this,
not like that! Exercise discipline - dont do it!
Should you let your child hold the pen incorrectly? No, of course
not! But let him do his research, his experimentation. Let him try
different ways to hold the pen, he will find out by himself what is
most efficient. If you want, you can take your own pen, and your
own paper, and do some writing right next to him. He will watch
you, and see how you hold the pen. I am sure that he will try your
method, and come to his own conclusion.
My neighbor Chris visited me with his 4 year old son, Nick. In order
to keep Nick happy and busy, we gave him some crayons, pencils
and paper, so that we could have our own conversation. As Nick
was trying to write his name, holding the pencil in a slightly
awkward position, writing some letters that had no resemblance to
the letters in his name, his father jumped up, yanked the pencil out
of his hand, wrote the name down in front of him, and said, What
happened to you! This is wrong, this is how you write your name!
Nick is a very serious child, who attempts everything to the best of
his ability. As I looked at him, I noticed the expression on his face.
It was very troubled. He laid the pencil down, and refused to try
any more. What is the message Chris has given to his son? I think
that the thought that went through Nicks head was, I am not good
at this. Ok, I give you 3 guesses: how good is Nicks handwriting
now, at age 8? - You guessed it! It is not good.
3 Praise, praise, praise. Take the opportunity to celebrate every
achievement, big or small. Praise your child for a good effort to
complete an assignment. Praise your child for learning a new skill.
Praise your child when he shows interest. Praise your child when he
shows drive. Praise your child for anything that you would like to
encourage.
Praise has to be sincere, of course. Praise has to be accompanied
by enthusiasm. It has to feel good.
Before my son, Eric, was 2 years old, we started taking piano
lessons together. I have always wanted to learn to play the piano,
but my parents did not make it available to me. So now I saw an
opportunity. Our scheduled lessons started with Eric, and when Eric
was done I got my lesson. The piano teacher used to praise me
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lavishly. She told me how talented I am. She told me that adults,
when learning to play the piano, usually are much slower than me,
that I am learning so fast, that I have a natural ability. Well - I
loved going to these lessons. I enjoyed the lessons. I was very
enthusiastic about learning to play the piano. Obviously, if the
praise worked so well for me, an adult, wouldnt it work wonders for
a child?
4. At the end of the day, when you tuck your child to bed, discuss the
days events with your child. Ask the important question: Tell me
about the good things that happened today. Make sure the last
thoughts of your child, before he goes to sleep, are the good,
positive experiences of the day. Make sure you praise him for
something he did today, some achievement. End the day on a
positive note. This will also ensure that you havent forgotten to
praise your child where praise is due.
5. Write down a few positive affirmations for your child. Good
examples for affirmations are: You are so smart, and getting
smarter every day. Or You are learning more and more every
day. Affirmations have to be written in the present tense, in
positive format (I am strong and healthy instead of I am not
sick). Think of your childs challenges at the time, or if your child
had a bad experience, write an affirmation that will negate the bad
experience. (Remember - you write it in a positive format).
Repeat the affirmations to your child, 3 times each. 2 to
3 affirmations at a time are plenty. If your child cooperates, teach
him to say the affirmations to himself. You can do this during the
day, and at bed time. Early morning at the time your child wakes
up is also a good time for affirmations. It is a good idea to read the
affirmations into a recording device, and let your child listen to
them at his convenience, or while you are driving, waiting in line, or
just resting.
6. Your child learns about the world and about himself from you, and
from the community that he is a part of. Teachers, classmates and
friends can also easily affect your childs confidence. It is a good
idea to make sure, to the best of your ability that your child is in a
positive environment.
If your child is very young, make sure all others who take care of
him are also aware and considerate of your childs confidence.
When you choose a day care facility for your child, or a baby sitter,
make sure you choose a positive environment. If your child is older
and goes to school, it is a good idea to meet your childs teacher
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early in the school year, and make sure they are positive, gentle
and respectful. You can specifically bring up the issue of confidence
and ask them to support your childs confidence. It is always good
to choose a teacher for your child who is cooperative, a teacher
who will work with you for the benefit of your child.
7. Make sure your child knows he can discuss with you any issue that
is on his mind. This way, if something negative happens, you will be
able to help your child cope with it in a positive way, instead of
creating a painful memory that may affect your child for the rest of
his life.
Make Sure Your Childs Teacher is

Trained in Teaching His Specific Age
Group
Eric was 18 months when I took him to piano lessons. I always

wanted to learn to play the piano, but never had the
opportunity to do so. So I selected a Suzuki teacher, and
agreed with her that we would come for an hour each week.
Eric was to get his lesson first, and when his attention span
ended, I was to get the rest of the hour.
Eric enjoyed learning to play the piano, and soon we had a
group recital. Eric was the youngest in the group. We sat and
waited his turn to play. For some reason, the teacher started
with the older children, and the younger ones sat and waited
(not a smart strategy, when you work with toddlers). Eric,
being under the age of 2 at the time, was wandering around,
checking out some seats and looking at the other children,
while watching the older children play. He did not make any
noise, nor did he create a distraction, but the teachers
assistant approached us and told us that if Eric couldnt sit
down in a chair, he would be asked to leave. When we asked
how long we would have to wait, she said that his turn to play
his piece would come in an hour.
The next day we received a letter from the teacher, calling our
attention to Erics undisciplined behavior during the piano
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recital, since he did not sit quietly on his seat for the duration
of the recital.
If your child is very young, and you take him to a teacher, make sure
the teacher knows how to work with very young children! I am here to
tell you, that it is unreasonable to expect a 2-year-old child to sit down
for an hour and listen to other children play the piano. It is natural and
normal for a child to wander around, as he learns about his
environment. A child at this age is curious about many things, and
wants to research and learn by touching and observing.
The teacher I am talking about, who had no children of her own, was a
beginner Suzuki teacher and did not have the experience and
training necessary in order to work with such young children. She
might have had the musical knowledge, but this is not enough in order
to work with young children, keep their interest and make learning a
fun and positive experience. Please, dont let anybody spoil the fun of
learning for your child; be on the lookout, and protect your child from
any negative experience associated with learning.
Time Management for Busy Moms and

Dads
Everyone is super-busy nowadays. It seems that time has sped up!

The days when people met their friends and neighbors and stopped to
chat for a while are over and gone. Now, people hurry all the time.
This is true for most people. However, the busiest people of all are...
moms and dads. Stay-at-home parents keep the house running, take
care of the kids, and coordinate all the family activities. Working
parents hold a job, in addition to everything else. Work is demanding,
and the kids schedules are demanding too.
How can we manage our time in an effective way, and keep our
sanity? How can we include all these wonderful activities we want to
do with our children, to develop their genius?
Time management is closely related to goals. On a certain level, we
want to manage our time so that everything that needs to get done,
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indeed gets done, and that we show up at the right place at the right
time. All homework gets done, permission slips get signed and
delivered, doctor appointments held, everyday stuff. But this is not
enough. Even if all these get done, we might have not managed our
time effectively, if we did not take in consideration our goals, and
made sure that time is spent on achieving them. In our context, that
means that our goals for our children are met. For example, if you
want to make sure that in addition to everything else that is going on,
you also want to teach your child to read, to understand mathematical
concepts, or to play the guitar, you need to manage your time so that
these goals are met.
The secret to effective time management - is effective planning. One
of the most common methods is starting with the long time span, and
then making more specific plans for smaller and smaller time spans.
Using this method, you start making a 5 year plan, narrow it down to
one year, and from there plan the years months, the weeks and the
days.
Be reasonable. Dont include too many activities, dont crowd the day
in a way that the kids dont have any time to rest, to play and to
develop their imagination. Dont crowd the day so much that you dont
have any time to breathe. Without breath, you know, you will not be
able to survive.
Learn to delegate, dont try to be a superwoman. We, women, have a
tendency to take on too many responsibilities, without asking for help.
If you can afford it, hire help. I was lucky, I had a cleaning lady. She
kept the house clean, and freed my time up for having fun with my
children. This way, I could allocate more time to my children. If you,
for some reason, cant hire a cleaning lady, you need to be even more
diligent with your time planning.
In a notebook dedicated to your time management, make a few lists.
One list will include the specific skills you would like to work on with
your kids in the next month or so. The second list will serve as a wish
list: skills that you would like to work on if you get the time this
month. If not - you will work on them next month.
When you are planning your time, fill in first the things that you have
to do, like doctor appointments, parent-teacher conferences, working
hours and so forth. Then make sure you plan some time for yourself.
Financial advisors always say to business owners: Pay yourself first.
I am saying - first plan the time you need for yourself. Make sure you
take time to rest, time to read and time to relax. Fill it in your calendar
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ahead of time, and stick to it. Next, plan free time for your kids. This is
time your kids need for themselves, to dream, to relax and to play.
Now that you have filled in the crucial activities, you can start planning
the special time you are going to spend with your children, developing
their genius. Use your first list from your notebook, and fill in the
available timeslots. Some of the activities take only a few minutes at a
time, like teaching your baby to read, and others may take longer, like
reading a book to your child, or doing some research at the library or
on the computer. Plan one activity at a time, and leave plenty of time
in between activities.
During the week, if you happen to find some unexpected time, like a
day off school, a day off work, or an unexpected cancellation, you can
go to the second list, the wish list, and draw ideas from there.
Researchers have shown that the best time slot to plan for studying is
20 minutes. It has been shown that the parts that students remember
most from their lessons are the beginning and the ending. A student
that studies a subject for 20 minutes at a time, and takes a break in
between, will remember more than a student who attempts to study
for a whole hour, taking less breaks. This method will also avoid
fatigue, leaving the student much more relaxed.
It is a good idea to do a planning session together with your children
at the beginning of the week, if your kids are ready. Have your kids
participate, and bring up their goals and their wish lists. You can
include their items in your wish list. If you make them a part of these
planning sessions, they will learn to organize and plan their time too,
and they will be aware of any crucial activities that have to happen this
week, but also of the fun learning activities that you are planning for
them. It is great when they start adding items to their wish list on
their own during the week, and bring it up during your planning
sessions.
Each child can have their own calendar, and their own activities, but it
is your job to coordinate all activities. Enter them in your calendar and
make sure there are no conflicts, or if you encounter some conflicts,
you can solve them as early as possible. The weekly calendar that you
create will become the general family calendar, you can hang it in a
central place in your home, where all family members can see and
refer to. Since you have the time you need for yourself marked clearly,
they will learn to respect the time you have marked for yourself.
Planning free time for them will teach them to take time for
themselves, a good habit for life.
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What type of calendar should you use? First you have to decide if you
want an electronic format or a simple paper calendar. An electronic
calendar is very handy, fast, it can provide alerts and reminders for
planned activities. However, in case of a power outage, or if your
computer is down you cant use it. In this case, you might want to
create a printed backup. There are all kinds of calendars available at
the store, but why not turn it into an educational activity too? If your
children are ready (and only you know if they are ready or not, not
necessarily their chronological age), you can make the calendars by
yourself. Your general family calendar should be quite big, so that
you have room for all family members activities. There are computer
programs you could use that create a calendar for you, or you can
simply create a weekly or monthly page on your own.
The space allotted for each day should be large enough, so that you
can allocate some space for each member of the family. If a certain
member of the family doesnt have an activity at that time, leave it
empty, so that something can be added later, if necessary.
A good idea is to color code your calendar. You can color code
activities, so that you can see it in a glance. For example, the time for
myself you can always write in blue, or homework time, in yellow.
You can color code the people, for example time needed for the baby
in pink, time needed for you in red, and so forth. Both methods are
helpful.
How often should you hold those planning sessions? That depends on
your preference. It also depends on the size of your family. If, for
example, you have just one baby, all you need to do is a weekly
planning session with yourself, and go over the calendar daily. If you
have several kids at different ages, I recommend having a weekly
family planning session. At the end of the day, before bed, remind
your kids to look at the calendar for the next day. This is a habit they
need to develop, and you will have to remind them. If possible, go
over the calendar for the next day with each kid, making sure they
know the plan for the next day.
All this sounds very regimented, but it simply depends on you, how
you want to handle your time management. Remember that a plan is
not etched in stone. It is a work in progress, a rough draft. The
weekly calendar can be adjusted daily. It is a good tool to make sure
that the necessary activities are kept, resting time is respected, and
special learning activities are included too. It is a good tool to make
sure that the time is not running away from you.
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Goal Setting and Project Management

for children.
Most of us know that goal setting and time management are very
important for success. But only few of us have the habit of actually
setting goals the right way: daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and long
term. There are numerous tools out there, from calendars and
organizers to software packages that are designed to help us set our
goals and manage our time accordingly. Many of us own them, but
only few of us actually use them frequently. Why? What does it take to
build a habit?
It is quite clear that if we can teach our children to set goals and
achieve them, while managing their projects and their time, we will
help them be successful at any endeavor they decide to take on. It is
not enough to teach them how to do it, we also want to create a habit
of doing so, to make it second nature.
Start early on, when your child is very young. Even with a baby, or a
toddler, you can start every activity with stating your intention, your
goal. In the morning, you can state your plan for the day, and your
objective for the activities you are taking on. If your child can talk
already, let him participate. Let him state what he would like to
achieve as a result of engaging with the activity. If you remember to
do this throughout the day, you will build a habit in your child.
When you state what the activity is you are going to engage in, and
talk about your objective, you can start creating a sense of time in
your young child, stating how long you decide to allocate for the
specific activity. For example, you can say: For the next half an hour,
we are going to ... and it is very beneficial to tie it to the time of the
day, for example until noon, when we will have lunch, or until it
turns dark, and it is time to have dinner. It is good to have a big clock
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to look at. Teach your child how to read the clock, let your child watch
the time.
For school age children, provide an organizer that includes a calendar.

At the beginning of the week, take some time to state your goals for
the week, to go over the plan and the activities for the week. Look at
the week thats past, and help your child note the achievements he
accomplished the week before. Goals that were not met can be
included in the week ahead. Make it a point to celebrate the
achievements of last week. Make sure that there is no criticism and no
bad feelings about goals that were not achieved. This should be an
activity that feels wonderful and provides satisfaction, an activity that
your child will enjoy doing throughout his life. If your child is mature
enough (and you are the only one who can judge that), you can start
doing the same at the beginning of every month. Celebrate the
achievements of the month thats past, plan the month ahead, and
plan the weekly activities based on the monthly goals. Start every day
looking at the date at the calendar, going over the activities in the
calendar, and the objectives for those activities. Another thing that is
important to teach your child: the plan is just that, a plan. Be flexible,
and make changes when changes are needed.
I know that this sounds like a lot of work, but after it turns into a
habit, it takes only a few minutes a day. It is well worth it, to teach
your child to live life purposefully, to set and achieve goals.
If your child is older (for example in high school), this is a very

important time. At this age, many children (actually, they are young
adults now) in their attempt to become independent become distant
from their parents. Dont let this happen. Talk with your child about his
goals; make him aware that thinking about his long-term goals, as
well as the short-term goals, will help him achieve a satisfying and
successful life. Be there to guide him, be involved in his life.
It is a well-established fact that people who write down their goals are
more likely to meet them and come up with new ones. It is also the
case that people who keep a diary along the way are more likely to
meet their goals. Talk with your child about his goals, have him think
about what he would like to achieve. Start with his dreams, make sure
he know that everything is possible, that he can achieve anything he
sets his mind to achieve. Never discourage a dream. Never say, you
cant do that! Never say You are too big, too small, too young, too
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old, to do.... Every dream your child has is a legitimate dream. Let
them surprise and delight you!
When they write down their goals and their dreams, tell them to be as
specific as they can, to come up with details, to describe in detail what
they want to achieve or to have. Have them use all their senses, when
they describe their dream: how does it smell? What colors do they
see? How is it going to feel when they achieve it? Have them write
down the reason they want to achieve the specific goal. Suggest that
they develop an idea of the time frame. Teach them to separate the
goal into phases, smaller goals they have to achieve along the way to
the main goal. Let them think about what they need to do to achieve
their goal. What kind of skills do they need? Do they have to get
training or education of a certain kind in order to complete their goal?
Teach them how to make a plan, write down little steps. Those little
steps can turn into short-term goals. Teach your child how to make a
detailed plan they can follow on their way to their goals.
Many people get discouraged or overwhelmed when they look at a big

project they want to engage in. If they create a plan that includes the
little steps they have to take on the way to completing the project,
they will avoid that problem. If you can, purchase a Project
Management software program for your child. Encourage them to use
it for a specific goal they have set for themselves. This is a wonderful
tool to use, and also very beneficial for them to learn and use later, in
college or on a job.
Dont forget to celebrate every achievement, small or big. Make sure

you acknowledge every success on the way. Enjoy the process, your
child is learning a valuable lesson, a lesson for life.
It is OK to Make Mistakes
Mistakes are an integral part of learning! Make sure your child is not
afraid of making mistakes. Many of the most successful people alive
today (or at any other time), have gotten there by trial and error,
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making lots of mistakes, in order to find the one opportunity that

made them successful. The fear of making mistakes is paralyzing. It
prevents children and adults from trying. Teach your child that
mistakes are simply opportunities for learning. They are just feedback
we can use to our advantage. We all know that most people are hard
on themselves, criticizing themselves harshly when they make a
mistake. Teach your child to accept a mistake as a learning
opportunity without criticizing himself. Teach your child to pay
attention to his self talk, and never beat himself up.
Different Types of Intelligence

Several types of intelligence and learning styles have been identified.
Among them are visual, audio, tactile, spatial ( learning through
movement), learning through action (role playing), logic, and language
skills.
It is a good idea to develop and strengthen all types of intelligence. In

this way, we will make sure that our child is gifted in a variety of ways.
We all need and use all those types of intelligence in everyday life,
when we face all challenges of life and succeed in achieving our goals.
As we strengthen all types of intelligence in our child, we also make
sure that our child acquires a variety of learning tools that he can use
throughout his life.
It is a known fact that repetition is a very effective way of learning.

However, repetition is also cause for boredom in children. Children
dont like to repeat, maybe due to the fact that they learn so fast.
However, when you are working with your child on a concept, (and
this is appropriate for all ages), you can plan ahead of time to use
activities that take advantage of a variety of learning styles and that
develop several types of intelligence.
For visual style of learning, prepare some pictures, a video, if

available, reading material. At the same time, make sure you are
using auditory learning, reading the material aloud, recording it, and
maybe playing the recording several times during driving time or
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during resting time. To take advantage of the tactile learning style,

you can find a model or a sample, that your child can touch and feel.
Obviously, in this case the visual learning style also comes into play,
which is great! Combining senses and learning styles in our learning is
a very effective tool. For spatial learning, you can help your child
compose a few rhymes, put them to music, and dance to the music,
reciting the rhymes. This is good for things that need memorization.
For example, when you child learns the multiplication table, you can
use flash cards, and to reinforce them, you can have your child march
to the beat of a favorite tune, reciting the material, in a very fun way.
To make it even more fun, create a dance, use a trampoline, invent
different types of motions. To remember formulas or dates for history,
you can do the same thing.
Role playing is always a fun activity that provides ample of opportunity

to learn. Role playing is a very effective tool that is used for a variety
of learning purposes including company seminars and colleges.
This technique of involving different styles of learning, is very

effective. In addition, it also gives us lots of opportunities to make
learning fun and enjoyable.
Toys As Part of Your Childs

Development
This subject is important all year round, when we buy toys for our
children, but it becomes especially important here in the US around
the holidays when many households who celebrate Christmas or
Hanukkah spend some time choosing and purchasing toys for the
children.
When you plan your toy shopping this holiday season, start with taking
a look at the toys and the games that your child already has, and
determine if there is a category that is missing. For example, if your
child is an infant, does your child have lots of colorful, visually
attractive toys, but no musical enrichment? Or did you often read to
your child, sing to him or play music to him but did not provide a
visually stimulating environment? For an infant, it is important to have
lots of visual stimulation, but also play lots of music (don't forget to
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play classical music). Let your child touch many different surfaces. If
the child is learning how to walk, let him walk on many different
surfaces, like grass, sand, tile, carpet, wood, and so on. If its
summer, and you can let the child walk bare feet on some of those
surfaces (keeping safety in mind) that would be most beneficial.
Fantastic visual stimulators for children of all ages are coloring books
and mazes. These stimulate the visual discrimination, as well as the
fine motor skills and hand eye coordination. There are many types of
coloring books, the best include intricate patterns that can be very
complicated. Good activities are closing the eyes and describing the
colors and the patterns, or recreating from memory. Hold the pattern
in a different position, for example upside down, and ask your child to
draw it right side up. Try it yourself, you will find that you benefit from
this activity too! This is a superior exercise that develops the visual
discrimination and imagination. Your child will surprise you with the
speed they learn to do this.
Building toys that are age-appropriate are great toys to strengthen the
spatial intelligence, and the 3D perception of a child. To strengthen the
tactile skills, make sure your child's building toys are made of a variety
of materials, from wood and metals to plastic and rubber. Make sure to
discuss the differences with your child, the features and characteristics
of each material. For example: how much does it weigh? Does it float
in water, is it breakable? It is a great opportunity to expose your child
to some ideas in Chemistry, and watch for signs of interest. If your
child shows interest in Chemistry, seize the opportunity! By all means,
purchase some Chemistry sets, or just check out a book in the library,
and read it with your child.
Another activity that develops the tactile skills is sculpting. Young

children can sculpt in Play dough, while older children can sculpt in
different media and develop their skills this way. Papier-mch, clay,
and others are good materials to experiment with. At the art store
there are some clay-like materials which you can bake in a
conventional oven. These are quite expensive, but great when your
child creates a masterpiece he would like to save. Combine some
information about great sculptures of all times, show pictures of
famous sculptures, mention the names of the artists. If possible, go to
a museum and let your child see some art pieces. See if you can
encourage your child to recreate what they saw at the museum. You'll
be surprised with the results.
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Strategy games are great to teach analytical skills. Chess is not the
only beneficial game there is! If your child has only few strategy
games, or none at all, make sure to purchase some of those that fit
into your budget and are appropriate for your child's age and ability.
Strategy games can account for many enjoyable hours that I
have spent with my son. Of course, he beat me every time.
When you introduce a young child to any game which results in a

win or a loss, please be sensitive to your child's feelings. Children
around the age of 3 to 5 always want to win, and find it hard to come
to terms with a loss. We, as adults, know that when you play a game,
you sometimes lose. However, for children at this age, it is a very
difficult lesson to learn. A Russian Chess teacher once told me that
when he has a student at this age, he will always make sure that the
child wins. This turns the game into a very enjoyable experience for
the child, and encourages him to learn and excel in the future.
In conclusion, start your planning early, and make sure that when
you purchase gifts for your child, you provide ample of toys and games
that strengthen all types of intelligence and skills and support
development in all learning styles.
In the last few weeks, I have spent a significant amount of time,

looking for some great resources for toys and games that are fun,
educational and very enriching for many age groups, in order to help
you with your planning and choosing,
I have included them in the RESOURCES page on my web site. Please

take a look at http://www.all-gifted-children.com/resources.htm , plan
and choose wisely.
This Right Brain - Left Brain Issue
There has been a lot of talk recently about the Right Brain/Left
Brain concept. It started with the famous Nobel Prize winning work of
Dr. Roger Sperry from the California Institute of Technology about the
brain hemispheres and their different functions. Sperry discovered that
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the left brain is responsible for language, logical thinking and analysis.
The right brain is responsible for images, imagination and intuition.
Researchers have concluded that in every person, one of these

hemispheres of the brain is dominant. Some people even claim that
men are left-brain dominant, while women are right-brain dominant.
No wonder, they conclude, there is such a big gap in communication
between men and women!
Research has shown that it is very important to increase the

communications (or connections) between the hemispheres of the
brain. If we do that, we increase the functionality of the brain. This can
be done at any age, and has proven to be beneficial. Enhanced
balance between the two hemispheres improves peace of mind,
harmony, reading and comprehension, and develops better
concentration and focus.
The activities that have been shown to develop and improve the
brain hemisphere connectivity are usually the ones that use both sides
of the body in concert. The cross pattern we all use while walking or
swimming, and which babies use when they crawl, develops and
strengthens the connection between the brain hemispheres. (By cross
pattern, I mean the movement when we bring the right arm and the
left leg forward, and then the left arm and the right leg). It has been
shown that some brain-injured children who did not crawl developed
severe handicaps, but by practicing the activity of crawling they
showed surprising improvements.
An activity that can help significantly with babies, is stimulating

eye movements between the left and the right side. Hold an
interesting and colorful toy, or just your hand in front of your babys
eyes. After the baby has focused his eye on the object or your hand,
move it to his right side, and then to the left side, back and forth.
These eye movements stimulate the left and the right hemispheres in
turn, and strengthen the left-right hemisphere connectivity. Also
beneficial is the movement of an object from a close position to a
farther away position from your baby. This focus on far and then a
close object develops and strengthens you babys eyesight, and
stimulates the neural connection between the eyes and the brain.
For older children, a very beneficial activity is juggling. The motion

of juggling makes use of exactly the right hand movements and the
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eye movements that stimulates brain activity and creates new neurons
in the brain. My son recently has told me that at his school there is a
juggling club, and many of the members are math university
professors. I found this fact to be very interesting.
Another activity that has been proven to contribute greatly to

higher intelligence as well as better health is swimming. This activity
can be done at any age, and if you swim with your baby or your child,
it will contribute to your health too. If you have followed my
information about teaching your baby to swim, your child might be
already swimming by now. I just want to mention that the formal
swimming styles dont actually use the cross movement that is so
beneficial for the brain hemisphere connectivity, but young babies,
when they start swimming, they use the doggie swim style, which
does use the cross movement.
Another activity that improves the brain connectivity and balance is

crawling. If your baby is still young, and does not crawl yet, swimming
is preferred. You can also team up with a friend or a partner, and
imitate the crawling movement holding the babys arms and legs, in
cross pattern. You stand on one side of the baby, while the baby is
laying on his tummy, and the partner on the other side. Using a table
will make it easier on your back, but make sure that you put the baby
on a soft surface, so that the baby is comfortable, and that you watch
the baby at all times! You hold a hand and a foot, and so does the
partner. Then while you bring the arm forward, the partner brings the
leg forward, and visa versa, creating a rhythm. Do it just for a few
minutes, while having fun. You can repeat it several times a day.
Make sure your child has room and the opportunity to crawl. You
might have to clean the floors, and make sure that the floor is free of
little objects your child can choke on, but encourage him to crawl as
much as possible.
A young couple I know live in a cold climate. When their little boy
was at the age other children crawl, they didnt let him spend any time
on the floor. (It was winter). They always held him on their arms, or
put him in a play pen. When I recommended that they let him crawl,
they said that they prefer to keep him clean. The baby has never
gotten a chance to crawl or move around freely. If you want your child
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to develop and grow the best way possible, do your child a favor, and
let him have room to move around on the floor.
When Tammy was about 3 months old, I put her on the floor, on
the rug most of her waking time. Tammy was a very active baby, I
couldnt put her on a sofa, for the fear that she will fall off of it. One
time I put her in a baby carrier, one of those little seats you can put a
child in. Some of them even have a rocking motion. Within several
minutes, Tammy managed to wiggle her way out of it, and fell on the
floor. When I put her on the floor, I realized, she could not fall!
However, very soon after I started doing this, she started rolling. She
got the idea that she could use this motion to move around, and she
started rolling around the room. She would roll from one corner of the
room to the other, researching her environment!
For older children, chasing each other while crawling can be a fun
and crazy game. You can get on your hands and knees too, it will do
you good! If you have several children, encourage them to play
catch while crawling. This is good exercise, and it contributes to their
intelligence.
Walking and running are natural activities that utilize the cross
pattern, and are great at balancing right and left hemispheres of the
brain.
If you have a very young baby, a very stimulating activity is

massaging both feet, or both hands, for a few minutes, several times
every day. When you gently massage your babys feet, and stimulate
both feet at the same time, and then each foot one after the other,
and watch your babys face, you will notice that he enjoys this activity
very much. It is not necessarily a calming activity, because massaging
the babys feet is actually stimulating. I cant explain why it is great for
the baby, since it does not actually stimulate both hemispheres of the
brain, however, my feeling is that it stimulates some nerve junctures
in the body and in the brain.
I recommend doing this a few minutes every day, before or after

changing the babys diapers. This activity also forces you to take a few
minutes a day to look into your babys eyes and to smile at him; you
will notice that it strengthens the bond you are creating with your
baby, and this is a priceless bonus. Massaging the left foot and the
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right hand at the same time, and then the right foot and the left hand,
can also be beneficial.
As we know, most people have a dominant hand. Some people are

right-handed, and some people are left-handed. Statistically, more
than 50% of the people are right-handed. Very few people can use
both hand easily, and have no preference. In the past (a few
generations ago), it was common practice to force children to use their
right hand for writing, to tie their left arm behind their back, if they
attempted to use it for writing. Children were punished for using their
left hand for writing, cutting with scissors, playing ball etc. There was
even a spoon which couldnt be used in the left hand! All these, of
course, did not turn the child into right handed, but sadly enough,
often created some problems.
I have found that practicing writing using both hands is very

beneficial. A right handed child should practice writing with his left
hand, and a left handed child with his right hand. This will feel very
awkward at first, and takes some practice. So I recommend turning it
into a game. Do it with your child, take turns and compete. The one
who writes clearer, or faster, wins. For example, every word earns a
number of points, and whoever earns most points gets an award.
Invent some games, and turn it into a fun activity. You can use
colorful pens, to create more fun, you can turn it into an art project,
writing and drawing with the weak hand. Be creative and find ways to
turn it into a game and have fun. Only a few minutes of practice a day
will make a big difference. And remember by doing this you are
giving your child an advantage many other children do not have.
Another activity that is amazingly productive for your child:

drumming. I know, this is not for everybody! If you cannot stand the
noise, maybe it is not the right activity for you. However, when your
child learns how to drum, he is using both hands in turn, and is also
learning a pattern. It will be a lot of fun to play a game, in which one
of you invents a pattern and drums it (you dont need a drum for
this) and the others have to recognize the pattern and imitate it. You
can provide an award, and use it as an incentive. The pattern can
become more and more complicated as you get better at this game.
This game strengthens your childs auditory memory, improves the
brain connectivity and improves pattern recognition. It is wonderful.
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Whole Brain Development

Shichidas Method
Here is a fresh approach to education that is relatively new and

emerging.
A new type of education started emerging when the Japanese pre-

school educator Shichida Makoto learned about the famous Nobel Prize
winning work of Dr. Roger Sperry from the California Institute of
Technology about the brain hemispheres and their different functions.
As we have learned before, Sperry discovered that the left brain is
responsible for language, logical thinking and analysis. The right brain
is responsible for images, imagination and intuition.
In 1951, Dr. Makoto Shichida started researching into a method of

education that would take advantage of the right brain features, for
pre-school children age 0 to 3. His method became well known and
widely used in the Far East.
Shichida believes that all children are born geniuses. In Shichidas

opinion, the ideal age for right brain development is age 0 to 3.
However, if your child is older, it is still useful to engage in Dr.
Shichidas Whole Brain Development program. In children younger
than 6, the right brain is dominant. However, after the age of 6, the
left brain starts being dominant. If the child starts learning after the
age of 6, as is done in a big part of the world, it will be hard to develop
the childs right brain.
The claim is that about 80% of the people have developed a stronger
left brain, neglecting their right brain. The current method widely used
in everyday learning is based on logic, which takes advantage of the
right brains strength in language and analysis. In this way, the left
brain develops, dominating the right brain. In todays schools and
education, there is a tendency to neglect the arts, music and
creativity, which take advantage and develop the right brain.
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The methods used to develop the right brain are generally

visualization, imagination and photographic memory.
The right brain works at a lightening speed, as opposed to the left

brain, which is slow and methodic, needing time for analysis.
An important function of the right brain is creativity. The left brain can
learn, analyze and use the information it has been taught, but the
right brain is able to come up with new concepts, which have not been
known before.
Shichida sees right brain development as closely related to spirituality,

and claims that with practice and training with images, children can
develop stronger intuition and psychic abilities. He also claims that
younger children have stronger psychic abilities than adults, due to the
frequency of their brain waves, which is different from adults brain
waves. This, of course, goes hand in hand with the fact we all have
noticed, that children have much more active imaginations, and they
often claim to have premonitions or psychic phenomena.
In his research, Shichida showed a very interesting fact: he ran PET

(Positron Emission Tomography) tests on abacus users while they
were performing calculations, and showed that their right brains were
active, while people who were using the traditional methods to
calculate, had no or very little activity in their right brain. The abacus
is a visual way to perform calculations, and Shichidas conclusion was
that the right brain has the ability to perform high speed, automatic
mathematical calculations. (See chapter on Abacus).
Shichida Makotos method to activate the right brain makes use of

hypnotic suggestions. The children close their eyes, while soft music is
playing in the background. The teacher instructs the children to go to
their imaginary world, where they are free to visualize and develop
their imaginations. Teachers often also make use of images on cards,
and have the children imagine the card changing its shape or color.
These activities strengthen childrens visualization skills and creativity.
Another activity that is used is training the visual memory, again,

utilizes picture cards. Children can flip through them quickly, to
enable their right brain to absorb the images. Another method is to lay
the cards face down, and turn them over quickly. The children then
attempt to remember the cards and their placing. These activities
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activate the right brain, which enables the children to remember huge
amount of data quickly and easily.
It is important to note that according to Shichida Makoto, a childs

development is based on love. He claims that the child needs to have a
loving home, for all these methods to work. There is a close
connection between the right brain, emotions and spirituality. Parents
are encouraged to join class activities and the bond between parents
and children is strengthened. In Shichida based schools counseling is
provided for parents who need to improve the family atmosphere, in
order to ensure that the child has the appropriately loving
environment, which is so important for right brain education.
In Japan, there are nowadays more than 300 Shichida based schools.
However, his methods have not yet been accepted into the main
stream, partly because of lack of scientific proof of his theories.
In my opinion, a good method is keeping a balance between right

brain and left brain development. As I have suggested in other places
in this book, balance is important. Providing a balanced array of
activities, learning styles and toys provides a child with a round
education, developing the left and the right brain. In addition, doing
activities that encourage left/right brain connectivity is also important.
Visual Discrimination
Would you like your child to develop phenomenal creativity? Brilliant
problem solving skills? A perception for details far superior to what you
have ever seen? Genius level imagination? Here is your chance to help
your child develop all these, and improve your own skills in the
process! These are fun and enjoyable activities, which require no
special equipment and no expense; just a little bit of practice will show
huge benefits. I will include different age groups, and age-appropriate
activities.
Infants: Very young babies need the first few weeks of their lives to
mature the neural connection between their eyes and their brain. You
can help your newborn develop his eye-brain connection and mature
his eye-focus skill by showing him an image. The trick is to show your
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newborn an image that is big enough (for example, 10x8 or bigger)

and has bold colors. It can be a simple picture at first, preferably one
of a person close to and important to the baby - for example Mom or
Dad. Hold the picture in front of your baby, and watch his eyes. Wait
until the baby focuses on the picture and hold it there for a second or
two. Do this several times a day. You will notice that the baby takes
less and less time to focus his eyes on the image. Most babies may
take 6 to 8 weeks to get to the point that they can easily focus on an
image and perceive the details, but if you help your baby in this
manner, it will speed up the process. When your baby focuses his
eyes on an object faster, you can start moving the object slowly and
make sure your child is following the movement of the picture with his
eyes. At this time you can start moving the image farther away, and
then bring it back closer to the babys eyes. This will exercise the eye
muscles and provide good practice. Do this slowly and gently, to give
your baby the time to adjust to the activity.
Since Mom knows best, you will know when your child is ready for the
next step. At that time you can start showing a picture of an object
and say the name of the object. The child will develop his vocabulary
and visual discrimination. You can show the same image several times
in a row, and then switch to a different picture. Do this only when the
baby and you are in good mood, and turn it into a fun, relaxed and
joyful activity. Show your baby lots of love when you are done.
I suggest you prepare a set of pictures ahead of time, probably about
25 pictures. Remember, the pictures should be in bold color, and at
least 10x8.
Next Step: Advance to a more detailed image, and go from one
detail to another, pointing them out. Then you can describe what is
happening in the picture, what action is taking place. Observe the
people or the objects, describe them, paying attention to the smallest
details. Next session you can get into finer details. You can do this a
few times in a row, but after 3 times, I recommend starting on a new
picture.
When the Baby Can Talk: This becomes very exciting. You take
turns with your child, observing an image and describing it. From the
very obvious details you can go to the less obvious ones, and then you
can start imagining and developing a whole story around the picture.
You will discover that the more you observe the image, the more
details you will notice. This will develop the childs visual perception
and imagination. You can do it for a few minutes a day, or for a longer
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period of time (in my opinion, you should not take more than 30
minutes), but the longer you do it, the finer the details that you will
observe. You can start with a few minutes several times a day, and
increase the period of time gradually.
This activity is appropriate for a variety of age groups. It is a great
pastime, and it lets you take advantage of wasted time, for example at
the doctors waiting room or in line at the bank. When you are out of
the house, you can observe your environment, and discuss your
surroundings. Turn it into a game take turns describing the subject,
or imagining a story. For example, what are these people doing? What
kind of family do they have? What kind of a house? How does this
person feel right now? (Observe the expressions on their faces).
After a very short period of time of practicing these activities, you will
notice the results. You will notice a huge change in you too! This gets
more and more interesting and beneficial as we progress through the
activities.
When you feel that the time is right: You can start exercising your
childs visual memory. You observe an image for a few minutes, then
you take the image away, and try to remember the details. Take turns
describing the image, and the person who remembers more details
is the winner. You can prepare ahead of time a few questions about
the picture, and ask the questions after the picture was taken away.
For example: how many of a certain object, what color is a certain
object, and so forth. Within a short period of time, the child will be
able to remember many details, and very fine details, too. You will
discover that your own memory is improving too.
Visual memory can be improved indefinitely! I know a boy who, at the
young age of 8, played chess without looking at the board (blindfold).
He beat his chess teacher even though the teacher was allowed to look
at the board!
For school-aged children: All the activities described above (except
for the ones for infants) are appropriate for all ages. With school-aged
children, you can invent some games, or compete with them, and you
can vary the games. You can take time looking at an image and
describing it in more and more detailed fashion. Then take it away and
see who remembers more details. This game trains the perception as
well as the memory. Then you can progress to the imagination and
creativity stage, when you invent a story around the picture, and try
to guess how the people in the picture feel, what brought them to the
present situation and so forth. (Of course, these are just examples).
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See if you can write a little story about the picture at hand. It is fun
taking turns developing a story about the picture. You can record your
picture, and if you have to stop continue with the same story next
time around. Pay special attention to face expressions on pictures. This
will teach your child to be observant and sensitive to other peoples
feelings.
A very beneficial activity for the development of visual discrimination is
working on puzzles. Puzzles are good at any age. At a very early age,
puzzles develop hand-eye coordination too. One piece puzzles are
good at the beginning, when the child learns how to put one piece in
place, but immediately after that, a child can proceed to two piece and
three piece puzzles. Puzzles are known to increase concentration, too.
Many children enjoy working on a puzzle of a familiar picture, for
example a picture of their own house, pictures of family members and
so forth. Putting together puzzles can be a family activity. Use a small
table, so that the puzzle is accessible from all directions, then have all
interested members of the family participate. Make sure to rotate
chairs occasionally, so that each persons vantage point changes.
Dont stop here! 2 dimensional puzzles are great, but 3 dimensional
puzzles are a step farther. For the very young, I have seen clocks that
have a picture on each side. You can change the position of the block,
to change the picture of the puzzle. If you want, you can make a game
like this yourself. Take 9 blocks, cut a picture into 9 pieces, and glue
onto the blocks. Then you can turn the blocks and glue another picture
on and so forth. There are other 3 dimensional puzzles on the market,
some very complicated. Use judgment when choosing a puzzle. After
all, we dont want to frustrate your child, we just want to stretch his
ability. We want to find a challenging game that your child will be able
to solve, but not too easily.
For visual discrimination, I also recommend the game of Chess. Chess
is so beneficial for children, that I have written a whole chapter about
it.
In the resource page of http://www.all-gifted-children.com you will
find resources for puzzles. This page is being updated and new
resources are being added constantly.
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Teach Your Baby to Read
All babies learn a language before they can talk. I am sure that you
have noticed that your baby understands what you are saying to him,
long before he can actually talk or answer.
Babies are especially equipped for learning a language! They can

recognize patterns in an amazing way! How do babies learn a
language? Obviously, they use their hearing (auditory discrimination)
but also their eye-sight (visual discrimination), as we show them the
object, while we say its name.
In the same way, a child can learn to read. Actually, learning how to
read utilizes the same fantastic skill: recognition of patterns using
visual discrimination and auditory discrimination.
There are a few tricks in teaching very young children to read. If you
know these tricks, your chances for success are much increased:
1. When you teach an infant or a toddler to read, you cant test

them, either because they cant talk yet, or because they dont like
to be tested. So for a while, until its evident that your child
recognizes the words, you will have to patient and just simply have
faith. You will have to believe that it works! Its easy to give up,
when you have no sign that what you are doing even works. Dont.
Keep working with your child, and one day you will notice that
your child is reading.
2. Use big letters in red color. In little children, the connection

between the eye and the brain is not mature yet, and so using big
letters in red help them see the word better, and identify the word
better.
3. You have to work very quickly. How long does it take for you to
look at a picture? A very short time, right? Thats all your child
needs to look at a word. If you hold it there in front of him for a
long time your child will lose interest and walk away (or look
away).
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And now to work!
Many of us learned how to read based on the phonetic method. I

learned to read in first grade, using the phonetic method, and so did
all my friends, my parents, their friends, and so on. Notice, though,
that all of us when we read, we do not sound out the words one by
one! We read words or even sentences at once. When do we sound out
a word? When we see it for the first time, or when we try to pronounce
a name, and most of the time we mispronounce the names anyways.
The best way to teach a child to read is using words. From words we
proceed to sentences. In my experience, a child that learns to read
this way, will read faster and have better comprehension.
Your child is a master at pattern recognition. For example, if you show

your child the word bat, then you show him the word cat, and then
hat, your child will know, by himself, in what way the combination
at is pronounced, and will deduct by himself how the letters b, c and
h are pronounced. You dont need to explain it to him he already
knows. Thats why, if you do teach your child phonetics after he
already reads, it will be very easy he will know it already.
Make up some flash cards. (You can also purchase them. Look at the
store page, at http://www.all-gifted-children.com/store.htm.) It is
easy to make flash cards. Use somewhat stiff paper or cardboard, so
that it doesnt bend when you hold it up and show to your child. Use
big letters (3 is good) and red marker pen. Write the letters the way
they look in a book, so use print. Start with simple and familiar words,
like mommy, daddy, the name of the child, and the names of siblings.
Then you can start with familiar objects, like bottle, doll, words that
you know your child recognizes are best. If you can, make up about
100 flash cards.
You start with showing a card to your baby, and saying the word that
is written on the card. Then go to the next card quite quickly. You can
start with one card, two cards or three cards. This will take only a few
seconds really, and then you are done. Now it is time to celebrate. Tell
your child how smart he is, that he is learning to read, and really
celebrate. Wasnt that fun? This you can do several times a day, using
the same cards.
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After a few days of doing this with the same cards, it is time to start
adding cards. Add a new card a day, until you have 5 cards. Again,
just a few seconds at a time, a few times a day, as it fits into your
schedule.
After 3 days of showing 5 cards, it is time to start the next phase. In

this phase, you add one card a day, and omit one of the oldest cards.
First you will omit the cards from the first day, one a day, and then
omit the oldest card, the one that your child has already seen many
times. So for a while now you will show your child every day (several
times a day) 4 of the old cards, and a new one.
Remember show the cards very fast, while saying the word. When
you are done saying the word go to the next one.
Remember dont test your child! Dont ask: What is this? Just
show the cards for a few seconds a day, several times a day, and then
give your child lots and lots of love, and celebrate.
Keep the words you omit in a separate pile, occasionally put them
back in the pile instead of a new word, to review them.
After several weeks, your child should be able to recognize a large

number of words. Now you can start composing sentences. Start with
short simple sentences, like I am Joey or I am Tammy. Use your
own childs name. Use the same method start with 2 3 sentence
cards, and then add up to 5 cards. Now you will show your child the
word pile and the sentence pile, 5 cards in each pile. Still, do it for a
few seconds at a time, several times a day, but alternate between
words and sentences. Keep adding a new word a day (and omitting an
old word a day), and also a new sentence a day and omit and old
sentence a day.
After your child can read (you have to assume that he can read) words
and sentences, it is time to read his first book. You can make the book
by yourself, or purchase a very simple book, one that has only one
sentence on each page.
If you decide to make your own book, just make up a book out of
some of the sentence flash cards you already have. Decorate the
pages (I used stickers) to the best of your ability, and bind the pages
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together to make then into a book. (Any method is good, even if you
are just using a stapler).
If you decide to purchase a book, after you choose the book, make
flash cards of the words in the book, and the sentences in the book.
First show your child the cards with the words from the book, then the
sentences from the book. When your child can recognize all the words
and sentences, you can start showing him the book.
After preparing the book, you can start to read the book to your child,
while showing him the pages. You can do a page a day, (several times
a day), or the whole book, according to your observation and
judgment.
Now it is time for a big celebration! Your child has read his first book!
You can reward your child, you can make up a certificate, which you
can frame and hang on the wall, you can tell everybody around about
your childs achievement, while your child is listening, do whatever it
takes for your child to get the idea: this is fabulous!
From here, you can keep showing new words, new sentences and new
books. You can gradually upgrade to more sophisticated books, with
more sentences on a page, but use the same method. Finally, you can
teach your child phonetics.
A helpful game: Among the words you show your child, you can
include the words that appear often on signs. For example, types of
cars that you see often when you are driving. While you are driving,
you can play a game of recognizing the different types of cars.
You can also include common names of common restaurants,

businesses and so forth. Then when you walk around, or drive around,
you can play the game of recognizing the signs on restaurants, grocery
stores, or other businesses. Start with one word a day. For example,
you can choose the word exit and point out all the places where the
word exit appears. The next day choose a different word, and now
point out the new word, and still include the word exit if you see one.
If you often go to a certain mall in your neighborhood, include the

signs on top of the stores in the words you are working on. Then you
can go to the mall, and read the names on top of the stores. Anywhere
you see names or words printed on signs, boxes, products you use,
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include the words in the word flash cards that you show your child,
and let him recognize the names on the products. This will help your
child realize, that the written words are all around him.
Improve Reading Comprehension
Id like to tell you about a very helpful method of reading books and
articles that aids comprehension and will make your child a champion
reader. This method is appropriate for school aged children, but if you
have a younger child, you can start them on this method with simpler
books, just to get them acquainted to this method. Then the transition
from simple childrens books to more complicated books will be seem-
less.
Instead of working with a book, which shows only two pages at a time,
work with a poster, which shows all pages of the book or the article at
the same time. This way, you can look at the whole text without
having to flip the pages. In order to make a poster, you make a copy
of all the pages, and put them right next to each other. First you put
them in order, but later your can alter the order of the pages, as you
wish. You can work on a long table or spread the pages on the floor, at
a designated area. Taping the pages to the floor or to the table makes
it easier, because the pages then dont move. It is best to use the kind
of tape that you can peel off and reuse. You can tape the pages
linearly next to each other at the beginning, or organize them in other
patterns, depending on the idea you are working on, as you progress
in the analysis of the book. As long as the pages are numbered, you
have the freedom of moving the pages around.
Learning of the material is done in 2 phases:
Phase 1 Organizational Understanding: Look with your child at

the pages and study the way the whole subject is organized. Look at
the headings, and get an idea of where the information is. What is
covered in the book? How are the chapters related to each other? How
are the ideas organized? This is an integral part of reading and
understanding the article or the book. (Start with articles, or shorter
texts, so that your child can practice the technique).
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At this point, let your child outline the paragraphs that are of most
interest and the key ideas, using a marker, and also outline related
subjects, drawing arrows from one to the other.
Phase 2 - Detailed Reading: When your child reads the chapters,

let him mark the pages, make comments and write on it any additional
ideas, questions and where they are answered in the book, additional
material to research, reference to other books and so forth, depending
on your childs level. This is a good opportunity to introduce more
techniques to your child, to bring him to the next level.
This method also lends itself to working in a group. Children and

parents (or teachers) can cooperate on creating a poster, and discuss
the material in a creative way.
If appropriate for the subject, let loose of the imagination. It is

possible then to let your child make illustrations or write their own
addition to the text. In this case, you can use different color of paper,
so that it is visibly clear that this is not a part of the piece that is being
studied. Each child participating can get a color of his own for his
creative work, including comments, additions, illustrations and so
forth.
Help Your Child Read Faster,

Comprehend More and Remember
Better
Your child is already in school, or reads fluently. How can you improve
his reading speed? There are some things you can practice with your
child to make him a better reader.
1. Get rid of bad habits. Watch your child when he reads. Does he
follow the line with his finger? This will slow his reading. To prevent
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this, teach your child to hold the book with both hands. Does your
child read the words to himself? Does his mouth move while he is
reading? This is one of the bad habits many people have. It will slow
your childs reading significantly. Have your child hold a hand over his
mouth while he reads, so that he will notice when his mouth is
moving, and will stop it.
2. Eye Movements: A French researcher named Javal wanted to

investigate the eye movements of people while reading. Up to that
time, everyone thought that the eyes looked at each letter in a word,
and then at each word in a sentence, to read. Javal invented a tool
which he used to monitor eye movements, and found out that this is
not true. The eyes of a good reader proceed fluently over a line,
grasping whole meaningful units at a time. In many studies since
Javals, it has been proven that while the poor reader grasps only a
word or part of a word at a glance, the excellent reader can read
groups of words, groups which represent an idea.
In order to help your child start reading full sentences at a time, you
can work with flash cards. You can choose a book that is appropriate
for your childs age and reading ability, or choose a textbook from
school. Choose sentences out of the book (short sentences at first)
and make flash cards of them. Now, in order to train your child to read
full sentences at a time, you can play several games.
One of the games you can play is - matching. Have two groups of
identical sentences, but in different orders, and see who can match
them the fastest. You can start with only several short sentences, and
advance to more complicated, longer sentences, and more cards. At
the toughest level you can have similar sentences, or sentences that
differ just by one word. The goal here is to get the child into the habit
of identifying the sentences at a glance.
Hold a card up for a few seconds, then take it away, and see if the
child can repeat the sentence. Then its your turn. The person who can
read and remember the most cards is the winner.
Be creative, come up with some more games, and make it fun, fun,
fun! Have a reward for the winner, and make sure your child wins at
least some of the games. Dont forget to praise your child for his
achievements.
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3. Teach Your Child to Concentrate on Ideas: When your child

looks for an idea in the reading material, it improves reading speed
and also reading comprehension. The goal here is to read for the
content, not just in order to sound the words. In order to practice this,
copy a page from the book, and then have your child read the copied
page, and circle the ideas. Take turns doing this, and then check each
others pages. In order to have fun during this activity, choose
humorous books or those you know your child will enjoy very much -
books about favorite activities. Practicing looking for ideas in the book
and circling them will improve your childs reading skills dramatically.
4. Vocabulary: The better your childs vocabulary, the faster he will

read and the better he will comprehend the material. Children learn
vocabulary in school, and you can help. You can improve your childs
vocabulary further by reading to your child, by improving your own
vocabulary and using it when you speak with your child, by choosing a
few new vocabulary words every day and including them in your
conversation with the child.
5. Titles and Subtitles: Teach your child to familiarize himself with

the book or the article before he reads it. This is a good habit to have.
When you go to a bookstore with your child, or the library, choose a
book your child would like to read. Have him look at the title and the
subtitles, check whats covered in the book, familiarize himself with
the book. Then let your child tell you what he noticed about the book,
what interests him in the book. Ask - why did you choose this book?
What questions does this book answer for you? What do you expect to
find in this book? If its fiction - what do you already know about the
story from looking at the chapters? You can turn this activity into a
game too! Choose a book that both you and your child have not read
yet, familiarize yourselves with it, and then take turns mentioning a bit
of information about the book that you have already learned just from
looking at the titles, chapters and the subtitles. Write these down, and
after reading check how many of your guesses were correct.
6. Finding the Main Idea in a Paragraph: Each paragraph

represents an idea. Usually, there is a sentence or two that present
the main idea, and the rest describe the main idea or add detail.
Sometimes this sentence appears at the beginning of the paragraph,
but not always. Finding the sentence that presents the main idea
rapidly helps tremendously in increasing reading speed and
comprehension. This skill can be acquired and practiced. Again, turn it
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into a game. Choose a book or an article, preferably an interesting and

fun one. Take turns looking at the paragraphs and finding the key
sentence. If you have two identical books, you can turn it into a
competition: who will find the key sentence first? If your child
doesnt like competitions, just taking turns can be big fun.
By practicing in an enjoyable way the skills I have mentioned, your

child will improve his reading speed and comprehension. As a bonus,
you will spend enjoyable time with your child, quality time. This will
provide wonderful memories and increase the bond between you and
your child, and improve the relationship between you. Can you
imagine any better way to spend your time?
Photographic Reading: This technique is based on right brain

reading. It takes advantage of the right brains ability to take a snap
shot of a detailed picture, and store it in memory. The tricky part is to
call these details into memory, and into the left brain. (Here come all
these exercises that we have done to improve left-right brain
connectivity very handy.)
Do this experiment: Choose a very simple book, preferably with some

pictures. Look at the book ahead of time, and write down some facts
out of the book, or look at the pictures and find out what is included in
them. Now have your child relax with some pleasant, relaxing music.
Make sure your child drinks enough water before starting this exercise.
Have your child flip the pages fast in front of his eyes. (Make sure that
the whole pages show, when flipping pages, sometimes only part of
the page shows, for the purpose of this exercise, the whole page
needs to be visible while flipping). Do this several times, just to make
sure.
OK, your child is done. Now, in the next hour or so, in a very
nonchalant manner, bring the facts or pictures from the book into
conversation. Dont mention the book in any way, and dont ask
questions in a testing way, just naturally bring a picture or a fact into
conversation, and see if your child starts mentioning facts or describes
the picture. For example, you can talk about the picture, and mention
an erroneous fact. Watch if your child corrects you. The purpose here
is for your child to spontaneously bring into memory some facts from
the book. You will be surprised to find out that your child can actually
remember content from this book.
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In schools based on Dr. Shichidas work, I have seen testimonials of

parents, who wrote that their child reads several books each evening
in this manner, and then summarize them on paper.
Improve Your Childs Eyesight -

Improve Your Childs Intelligence
From a famous vision teacher I have heard that over 70% of the
information a person learns, is absorbed through the eyes. There is no
doubt, our vision is an extremely important part of our lives. In
addition, it has been shown that the functionality of our eyes has a
direct correlation with our health and coordination. Our left and right
brain hemispheres are affected by the function of our eyes, therefore
our vision is directly correlated with our brain function. As we all know,
vision is a coordinated activity of the eyes, brain and the neural
connection between them.
Bad vision habits. All of us have them, and they harm our
eyesight over time.
1. Eye strain. Our grandmothers, when we read in the dark, used to
say Turn the light on, you are ruining your eyesight. They were
not wrong. Eye strain causes damage to our eyesight. When we let
our eyes relax, our vision improves immediately. Make sure your
child doesnt strain his eyes! Make sure the conditions in the room
are good, the light is good and your child is comfortable. If you
notice that your child is reading for a long time, remind him to take
a break for his eyes. Remind him to take his eyes off the book, let
his eyes relax. When we read for a long time, we use only the
muscles that help our eyes focus on details in a short distance.
Taking your eyes off the book and looking at something that is in
great distance, helps relax the eye. If you can, encourage your child
to go to the nearest window, or go outside for a second, and look at
the greatest distance possible.
2. Stress. When your child is stressed, his eyesight will worsen. At
that time, you might decide to take him to the Optometrist, check
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his eyesight and the Optometrist will subscribe corrective lenses

(eye glasses). Before you do all that, make sure your child relaxes.
Solve the stress situation. His eyesight will improve, and the eye
glasses might prove unnecessary.
3. Squinting: When your child has strained his eyes he may become
near sighted. Many kids develop then the habit of squinting.
Squinting is a very bad vision habit, that causes further strain to
your childs eye. Make sure that your child does not squint.
4. Rigid Neck: While working at the computer, most people hold their
neck rigid. As the neck becomes stiff, so do the eye muscles. Make
sure your child relaxes his neck from time to time. Remind him to
relax his neck. One way to do this is to remind your child to move
his head in all directions. For a younger child, ask him to move his
nose and draw imaginary circles on the screen with his nose
(without touching the screen!). This will provide the necessary
relaxation for the neck.
5. Movement. Movement and exercise are essential for good vision.
This goes hand in hand with the idea that there should be a balance
in a child activities. A child that likes academic activities and is
engaged in many activities that require sitting, should also have
plenty of exercise and physical activity. As your child moves
around, he gets the adequate amount of movement and exercise
his eyes need for good development and function.
6. Blinking: Blinking is absolutely necessary for eye health and
comfort. Some children forget to blink, and develop the habit of
staring. Remind your child to blink. To create the habit of blinking,
make sure your child takes occasional breaks for blinking. This can
be done is just a few seconds, and should be done every once in a
while, when your child is studying, reading, or working at his
computer.
7. Rest and Nutrition: I cant stress enough how important these are
for your childs health in general, and for his eyes health too. If a
child doesnt get enough rest, his health will suffer, as well as his
development, not to mention intelligence. Adequate rest and good
nutrition are essential.
A number of exercises have been developed, that improve vision, and

at the same time increase intelligence by improving the right/left brain
communication. You can exercise these with an infant or a toddler
(gently), and you also can exercise these with a school age child, if the
child is motivated. To motivate a school age child, you can talk about
the benefits of these exercises. Every area will improve. If your child is
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active in sports, his performance will improve tremendously. A child

that is interested in the arts will improve in that area. Dance? Theater?
Singing? - every area that your child is interested in will benefit from
this. These exercises literally take only a few minutes at a time. It is
recommended to practice them several times a day, if possible. These
exercises should be done while the child is standing up (unless
its an infant).
Left/right brain communication:
Our far distance vision is associated with the right brain, while our
short distance vision is associated with the left brain. Also, when you
look to the right, you activate the left brain, when you look to the left,
you activate the right brain.
Sphincter Movements:
Sphincters are the diaphragms, the circular muscles in the body (for
example the muscles around the eyes, around the mouth, and the
diaphragm that helps us breathe. These muscles contribute to
coordination and healthy function of movement. All sphincters in the
body are correlated, therefore when you exercise one sphincter, all of
the sphincters will strengthen. When your child does the following
exercises, you will notice small movements in the whole body. You will
see that the child is gently swaying from left to right or from front to
back. This is a healthy part of the exercise. (Children with Asthma will
also benefit from these exercises).
Left/right side crossing:
Similarly to the famous cross movement, for example crawling, which

utilizes the right arm and the left leg, and then the left arm and the
right leg in turns, the left/right side crossing activates the right and
the left brain in turns, and improves the coordination between the
brain hemispheres. For an infant, hold a big, bright colored object in
your hand, and see if you can get the child to focus his eyes on it.
Then start moving it from left (left first) to right, and then back to the
left. (The childs left!). Start slowly, and then increase the speed. Do it
only for a few seconds at a time. For an older child, ask the child to
move his eyes from the left corner of his eyes to the right corner of his
eyes, first slowly and then faster (but not too fast).
Far/close focusing:
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As I have mentioned earlier, the left brain hemisphere is responsible

for distance vision, and the right brain hemisphere is responsible for
the close vision. Ask the child to look at a very far (you can do this at
a window or outdoors) object, and then switch looking at something
close to his eyes. Repeat this 5 to 10 times. If you do this with an
infant, you will have to hold the bright colorful object as far away as
you can, and then move it closer to your childs eyes, while watching
if your childs eyes are focused on the object. This activity will
strengthen your childs eye muscles, as well as brain hemisphere
coordination.
Another great activity for far/close focusing is the game of ping pong,
or table tennis. If its age appropriate (and you can start earlier than
you think!) teach your child to play ping pong, and let him practice
the game!
Circular Movement:
Circular movement of the eyes increases flexibility of the eye
muscles, and in an interesting way, improves the general
coordination of your child. Fine motor skills as well as gross motor
skills will improve with this exercise. Have your child make circular
motion with his eyes. Start with the left corner of his eye (again, the
childs left) look down and to the right corner of his eyes. Then look
up and to the left corners of his eyes. After 2 or 3, reverse the
direction. Do this first with the eyes open, then with the eyes closed.
This exercise should be done slowly. As it activates many muscles in
the body, it is much harder to do than it looks! If you are working
with an infant, hold the bright colored object until the baby focuses
on it, and slowly move in a circular motion, in the way that I have
described earlier.
Open/close:
(This exercise is hard to do with an infant.) Have your child open his
eyes as wide as he can, and then close his eyes as tight as he can.
You will notice that when the eyes are open, your childs body will
move slightly backwards, and when he closes his eyes, his body will
sway slightly forwards. This is because many muscles in the body
work in tandem. Muscles that are rarely exercised in any other way
will be activated using these exercises.
Juggling.
Juggling is a very beneficial activity! It is fun, and it improves hand-
eye coordination in a surprising way! It is good for the eyes and the
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brain! Many colleges have juggling clubs, and these are frequented
by many of the Mathematics professors. Juggling involves cross-side
movement that was mentioned earlier, and also moves and exercises
the eyes. Encourage your child to learn and practice juggling, first
with soft balls and later with juggling clubs.
These are several ways to exercise for improvement in vision,
coordination and intelligence. You can choose a few exercises a day,
and vary so that your child doesnt get bored. Please dont feel that
you have to do all these activities every day! You can leisurely pick
and choose the ones that you feel comfortable with, turn these into
games, and have fun!
Auditory Discrimination
It is important to make sure that you develop your childs auditory

discrimination as well, not only the visual discrimination.
To start with an infant, you can play pleasant classical music in the
background for the baby during the day, at any time. For an infant,
you can play it a little bit louder, to make sure the child can hear it,
but make sure it is not too loud and not too long, so it doesnt bother
your baby when he needs his rest. It might not be a good idea to play
it constantly all day, just for periods of time.
When the child is ready, you can start teaching him to identify musical
instruments. You can use different toy musical instruments. Gather
several musical instruments. Let your child play then, to hear the
sound they make. Then have the child turn around, and sound one of
the instruments. Let your child guess which musical instrument it was.
Take turns guessing. Teach your child the name of the different
instruments. You can also use recordings of different musical
instruments, play the recording and let your child guess what kind of
instrument it is. Tell your child the name of the instrument.
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To improve your childs auditory memory, you can practice

remembering series of numbers. Start with one or two numbers, and
have your child repeat them. Then advance to longer strings of
numbers, letters, or combinations or numbers and letters. You can
also use sentences. Practice auditory memory, and you will be
surprised at the length of the strings of numbers or letters your child
can remember!
Another very beneficial activity is remembering tones. Use a piano,
or a keyboard.
A simple keyboard will do. Start with just 2 sounds, gradually advance
to strings of sounds, and have your child repeat them. Turn it into a
game, and have fun! Take turns, let your child compose the tones too,
and I bet that before you know it, your child will be able to remember
longer strings than you can.
Reading to your child, is one common way of improving auditory
discrimination. In addition to reading, also read to your child, so that
both visual and auditory discrimination are developed. It is very good
to read to your child, while your child is looking at the book with you.
If there are any pictures in the book, let you child look at the pictures
while you are reading the book to him. Combining visual learning with
auditory learning is a good method of learning, and helps develop the
left-right brain connectivity.
A more advanced form of auditory training is drumming. You drum a
pattern, and your child has to imitate it. You can start with very simple
patterns of drumming, and advance to very complicated ones. You will
be amazed at what your child can grasp and remember, after a short
while of practice.
The following exercise is very beneficial for strengthening the hearing.
Have your child turn around, then say a sentence, very softly. Have
your child repeat the sentence.
You can alternate between saying the sentence in a normal voice, then
very softly, whispering. You can vary the sentences, sometimes using
similar words, or the same sentence several times, changing just one
word. This will increase the acuity of your childs hearing, as well as
his concentration.
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Languages
Children start learning their mother tongue at birth (or maybe even
before). As you talk to your child, he learns the language. Long before
your child can talk, he understands what you say to him. We all know
that a child learns languages much better, much faster than we the
adults can. Children also learn languages in a different way than we
do. A person who learned a language in childhood, masters the
language in a different way than a person who learned that language
in school, later in life. When learning a language in childhood, a person
masters the language intuitively, without needing to remember any
rules and grammar.
Little children can learn many languages at the same time. I had
friends who lived in Germany. Lilly was born in Romania, Robert was
born in Russia. They have lived in Israel when their children were
born, and at the time I have met them, they lived in Germany. The
children were ages 4 and 6. Both spoke Romanian with their mother,
Russian with their father, German with their peers in school, and
Hebrew with the Israeli friends they had.
In addition to learning so many languages, children also will remember

which language they speak with which person. They will always speak
that same languages with a person they know.
When you want to teach your child several languages, find different
people to speak that language to your child. They can read books to
him in that language, they can watch movies and videos with him in
that same language. They can teach your child how to read and write
in that language. But if you dont want your child to mix different
languages make sure every person interacts with them only in one
language.
If you happen to know several languages, and you would like to teach
your child several languages, the best way to do that is to have
separate time allocated to each language. For example, find a specific
location to interact in a specific language, or a different time of the day
that would be consistently allocated to that language. Give your child a
tool to differentiate between the different languages.
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If your child learned several languages, and is mixing them up a bit at

the beginning, dont be alarmed. As your child grows, he will know
how to differentiate, and will learned not to mix languages any more.
However, if you help your child separate the languages, by making
sure different people interact with your child in their own language, by
allocating different times of the day to different languages (for
example English in the morning, German in the evening) or if you
allocate different rooms in the house to different languages, you will
be helping your child differentiate between the languages early on.
How many languages should I teach my child? The more the better. I
repeat: the more the better. There is no rule as to how many
languages your child can learn. I believe that if you teach your child
several languages, your child will develop the ability to learn additional
languages fast and effortlessly. When my Tammy was young, I
actively sought out people that agreed to speak to her in different
languages. When she was 18 months old, we have lived in Germany
for a year and a half, so she became fluent in German. My husband
and I kept speaking to her in our mother tongue, and when she was 5
we came to the United States. After living in the US for about 3
months, on the standard testing, Tammy scored in the 98 percentile
for English vocabulary. She has been only 3 months in the country,
and scored better than 98% of the children in the US in English
vocabulary! Are you amazed?
When Eric was at the age of 2, a German friend of mine came to visit
us, and helped taking care of Eric for 2 years. I asked her to always
speak German to him. She read German books to him, and showed
him how to read in German. Of course he learned English at home,
and some other languages from friends and relatives. I always made
sure my children were exposed to many languages.
How to Teach Your Baby Math

It is possible to develop your childs feel for numbers, amounts and
computation from a very early age. Many people say I dont know
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math because of some bad experience they had in school, or at a

very early age. They accept this fact without questioning it.
My daughter had a bad experience with an unskilled teacher in 2nd
grade. Tammy was a very active child. She loved playing with her
friends on the school grounds. The math class was right before the big
recess, and the children who finished their assignment first, had the
opportunity to go outside early. Naturally, children 6 7 years old,
wanted to go outside and play.
Several times I met with the math teacher, who told me that Tammy
doesnt know math. She said it in front of Tammy, but I didnt react at
the time. Then it happened: I came to pick Tammy up from school
early one day (we had a doctor appointment) and the teacher
approached me. She started with the accustomed sentence, Tammy
doesnt know math, and I would like to show you her work. I was
invited into the classroom, and there the teacher showed me a few
work pages, with long multiplication exercises on it. It was Tammys
handwriting. Each page contained about 20 exercises. The teacher
showed me on each page the first 10 or 12 exercises were done
correctly, and the rest were marked with red pen. They had numbers
on them that could only come from the wild imagination of a 7 year
old child. The teacher said: If you look at the first exercises, you
would think that she understood the concept, but then you look at the
last few and you realize that she has no idea how to multiply.
This is the conversation between me and the teacher that followed:
Me (protective Mom): Mrs. Teacher, how long have you been a
teacher?
Teacher: 15 years. Why?
Me (protective Mom): I am surprised that after 15 years of working
with children you still dont have even an inkling of understanding of
children. Do you have any children yourself?
Teacher: No.
Me (Protective Mom): Do you not realize that Tammy knows the
material, and all she did here is solve the first 12 questions, and then
write in some number, so that she can go and play outside?
Teacher: This had not occurred to me.
This teacher has accomplished one very crucial thing: She has
convinced Tammy that she doesnt know how to do Math. She said it
so many times, Tammy started believing it. I, her mother, whose job it
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is to protect her from harm, was too slow to realize what is happening.
I failed to protect her from the this negativity has caused: Tammy
doesnt know how to do Math. Had it happened today, I would
immediately ask the teacher to never repeat that sentence in front of
Tammy, and would immediately take steps to negate the damage,
(Positive affirmation or EFT) but at that time, I didnt know all that.
If you start to teach your baby Math early on, if you develop the feel
and talent for Math, your child will be ways ahead of the curve. By
doing so, you will give your child a huge advantage and a fantastic tool
for life.
Teaching math to a baby, is best done by the use of flash cards,
combined with hands on materials that a youngster can count.
Start with flash cards that have a number and big red dots on them.
Start with the numeral 1 and one red dot. Advance to 2 and continue
until 100. It is an amazing fact that a child can, with some practice,
differentiate between a card with 98 dots and one with 99 without
counting the dots!
Similarly to reading, you start with just several cards, and show them
very quickly, while saying the number. Speed is of the essence! Dont
hold the cards up for a long time, leave each card up for a very short
period of time! This whole procedure should take only a few second,
and you could repeat it several times a day. Keep the cards handy,
and show them at any time you get a chance. After you have showed
the cards to your child several times, you can start adding a card
every day until you get to 10 cards, and then start adding a card and
eliminating a card every day. In this phase you are showing 10 cards
every time, but each day you add a number, and eliminate a number.
In parallel, when you play with your child, you can help counting. For
example, you can show a block, and say, One block, and then 2
blocks, and say, two block. Take every opportunity you have, to
count. You can count toys, glasses, cups, books, anything that handle
during the day, you can count.
After you have showed all the cards, 1 to 100, you can start a new
phase:
Dont stop showing the number cards. Until now, you have showed the
cards in order. 1 to 10, then 2 to 11, and so forth. Now you can take
random number cards and show them to your child, with no particular
order. At the same time, you can start using the addition cards. Start
with a card that shows that one dot + one dot = two dots. On the
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card, you should have the dots with the signs of + and = in-between.
On top, you can have 1 + 1 = 2. And so forth : 1 + 2 = 3, 1 + 3 = 4
and so forth. Start showing these cards to your child, saying; one
plus one equals two. Again start with 4 cards, increase to 10 cards,
and then start adding one card and eliminating one card each day. Be
sure to show the cards very fast!
In parallel, teach your child addition using the objects that you have
counted before. Now you can give your child two blocks, and say, one
block plus one block equals two blocks. And so forth. You can do this
much slower!
When we are showing flash cards to our child, we are making use of
the right brain. We have to do this fast, so that the right brain absorbs
the information, without engaging the left brain, the logic, in the
action. When we are counting or performing mathematical functions on
hands on materials, we are engaging the left brain, the analytical
part. In this case, we are taking time for our child to understand the
material logically. In this way, we are providing a whole brain
education.
When you are done with the addition, you can advance to subtraction,
again, showing the cards in order. Then, you can start mixing addition
and subtraction cards, and also mix them when you are showing those
functions using anything that you can count.
From here on your way is paved. Now you are an experienced math
teacher. You know what works! Go on, show multiplication, division,
fractions. You can try decimal points, and whatever interesting
concepts you can find.
One very helpful method is playing games. If your child is a toddler,
you can make up songs with math equations. For example, you can
choose a popular song that your child likes, and march to its tempo,
singing, one plus one equals two, one plus two equals three and so
forth. This takes advantage of different learning styles, engages the
auditory memory, the tempo in the song, and if you both dance or
march to the song, you are engaging additional learning styles. It
helps to laugh and be light hearted, to enjoy the experience.
When Eric was in elementary school, he tended to have frequent colds.
When he had a cold, or stayed at home from school, I had to keep him
busy. I used to make up some math cards with math exercises on
them. I put them in a pile in the middle of the table, face down. Each
of us took a card and had to solve the math problem. Then we put it
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aside and took another one. Since Eric was very competitive, we used
to keep score who solved more problems correctly, or who solved the
problems faster. I always let him win, but that wasnt very hard, he
became extremely good, very, very fast.
Your child might not be so competitive, in this case dont turn it into a
competition, just play the game and have fun. Make sure to celebrate
the game, celebrate every problem your child solved fast and
correctly. It wont harm to jump up and down, yell bravo and
hurray, or whatever silly thing you can do to express your joy and
appreciation.
A word about word problems. Word problems are great. They help
your child understand the use of mathematics. I recommend starting
as early as possible to use math in everyday life. For example, when
you are walking in the street, you can count windows, buildings, cars,
whatever. You can add for example: on the first floor of the building
there are 3 windows, and on the second 2, and the sum is 5. Two
windows plus three windows equals five. Those are simple problems,
but you can gradually advance to more complicated math operations.
When it is the right time, start measuring. When you cook, show
measurements. If doing a project in the house measure! When
sewing measure! If you have a scale, show how to weigh things.
Compare your weight to your childs weight. Guess and estimate the
weight of other family members (only the ones who dont mind!). Then
weigh them to see how close your estimates were. Use numbers and
units as much as you can in everyday life.
One very interesting, enjoyable and useful area of math is Geometry.
For Geometry, it is very useful to have a good 2D and 3D
understanding, and visualization skills are very helpful. This is
something you can practice early on! Teach your child the shapes. You
can use paper cutouts, for example, or again flash cards. Show your
child a triangle, a square, a circle advance to 3D shapes, like a
pyramid, a cube, and so forth. Talk about angles. Even a very young
child, at the age of 2 or 3, can understand the basics of Geometry. You
can put the basic equations on a flash card, and let your child see
them very fast. They will sink into his memory easily and effortlessly.
Then take the time to explain them logically.
Another great thing to do is to talk about math history. So much
information is available on the Internet. Some info you can find in the
library. Make sure you get some books about famous mathematicians,
and the development of math. This can be really fascinating. Whether
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it seems interesting to you or not, it is you job to make it fascinating

to your child. I dont care if you are good in math or not, or if you got
good grades in math in school or not. If you are working with your
child, and both of you are enjoying, it might be a great opportunity for
you to fall in love with math too. Find all the interesting info about the
history of math, read about it, discuss it, enjoy it!
One day, we had a famous mathematician from the Weitzman Institute
in Israel come to give a presentation about the practical uses of
mathematics in medicine. It was fascinating. Of course, I took Eric to
the lecture. He enjoyed it very much, and I did too. I have always
liked math, even when I was a young child, but I had no idea that
math has so many uses in practical areas.
Check at your local colleges, to see if there are any lectures of local
mathematicians, or guest mathematicians about a subject your can
enjoy. Local colleges have often lectures about interesting subjects,
and often the public is invited. If your child is ready to listen to a
lecture, take him! You can do some research about the subject ahead
of time, or after the lecture. Even if your child doesnt understand the
details of the lecture, he will get some background knowledge from it.
I hope this gave you some good ideas. Once you start, you will come
up with many new ideas follow up on them! Take every opportunity
to teach your child math and it will pay off.
One more important note Id like to mention. I have mentioned in

other places in this book, a fantastic program that Stanford provides,
named EPGY (Educational Program for Gifted Youth). When Eric was in
3rd grade, the school had provided a flyer about this program. They
have just started then working with younger children. Their youngest
students were in 3rd grade. However, as time progressed, they have
added many great programs. This is a distance learning program that
is available for children and students all over the world! I can
recommend this program whole heartedly! Check it out, and see if
your child could benefit from it too.
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How to Build an Abacus

by Mr. Edward Barinque
In modern research it has been shown that people who use the abacus
to perform mathematical calculations are using their right brain
hemisphere simultaneously to the left. This is unusual! When using an
abacus, the user is utilizing his visual discrimination in concert with the
analytical skills.
It is very advantageous, when teaching a child math, to use the

abacus to demonstrate the use of it. Following are the instructions of
how to build an abacus.
This is taken from the following web site:

http://www.geocities.com/learner_center/abacus.html with permission.
Materials needed:
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9 Popsicle (craft) sticks
12 wooden dowels, 1/8 diameter
plastic pony craft beads
glue
Estimated time to make is approximately 1 hour.
Procedures:
1. Cut a single dowel into three pieces, each piece measuring

approximately 4 inches. The number of wooden dowels you use
depends on how many place values you want on to be your abacus. I
usually have my students make four pieces, for four place values.
(The abacus in the picture has eight place values - thats to say, it can
handle eight digits - up to 99,999,999.)
2. Place the tips of the cut dowels on one Popsicle stick, centered and
equidistant from each other. Mark their places with a pencil mark.
3. Squeeze lines of glue over the pencil marks. Carefully place the
dowel tips onto the glue. Make sure that theyre at right angles!
4. After the dowel tips dry, thread two pony beads on each dowel.
These will be your Heaven beads.
5. Place a second Popsicle stick underneath the dowels about

down from the first Popsicle stick. This will serve as the center bar,
which separates the Heaven beads from the Earth beads. Mark the
dowel positions with pencil marks and squeeze glue lines over these.
Glue the dowels onto this stick. Be careful to not let any beads slide
toward this stick and accidentally get glued to it.
6. After the glue on the second Popsicle stick has dried, thread five
beads on each dowel. These will be your Earth beads.
7. Place a third Popsicle stick underneath and at the tips of the

dowels. Repeat the gluing procedures as stated above.
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8. After the glue has dried, get three more Popsicle sticks. Line up a
Popsicle stick over
each of the three you glued the wooden dowels to. Eye it to make
sure theyre positioned properly. Next, glue these sticks down where
you placed them earlier.
9. Take three more Popsicle sticks. Glue these directly onto the three
you glued in step 8. Youre now looking at the back of your abacus.
Youll see that these extra sticks lift the abacus off the table so the
beads dont rub against it during use.
10. Flip the abacus over. Congratulations! Enjoy your abacus!
On the wonderful web site:

http://werwolf.ee.ryerson.ca:8080/~elf/abacus/index.html you can
find information about how to use an abacus. There is even a java
applet that shows you visually how it works. Show your child how to
work with an abacus, and do some exercises with him. You both will
enjoy it, as well as learn from it. From working with an abacus, your
child will get a tactile experience working with numbers. (You will be
surprised, but even a toddler can benefit from this activity, and use
the abacus more as he learns more concepts in Math).
There are numerous abacus toys on the market. Although they are
good toys, the best option is to build one as described above, or to
purchase a real abacus, so that you have the ability to actually
calculate using your abacus. From it you can derive many hours of
play and learning.
General Knowledge Super

Important
I cant tell you enough how important general knowledge is. It really
separates an ignorant person from a well educated one. It is always
shocking to me, when I speak with a person who seems to be quite
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intelligent, but in conversation exposes lack of knowledge in a basic

concept.
Here, in the US, students learn in school about American history,

American culture and American geography. I find many people to be
ignorant in world history and world geography.
From observation of many highly gifted children, I can tell you that
they have an amazing amount of general knowledge. I must admit
that I didnt directly work with my own kids on general knowledge, but
from reading and through the wide variety of activities they were
involved with, they surprise me time again and again with the vast
amount of knowledge they have.
How to develop your childs general knowledge?
Of course, the more your child reads, the wider his knowledge base is
going to be. If your child starts reading early, in addition to the neural
development, he will also increase the amount of general knowledge,
by starting to read much earlier, and reading lots of books. If you
make sure that your childs reading speed is good, that he
comprehends well and remembers well what he reads, you are making
sure that your child can acquire a vast amount of knowledge.
Its important to cross reference the material your child reads. For
example, if he reads about an event in history, your can make sure he
also gets knowledge about the geography of the countries involved,
the culture and maybe other events that have happened around the
same time frame. Another example: if your child reads a book about
an animal, like a cat or a dog, your can provide information about the
biology of this animal, what it eats, where it lives, how is it adapted to
its environment, example of different or similar animals in short
provide more reading material and more information that relates to
the current material in some way.
For younger children, you can prepare flash cards with colorful, vibrant
or interesting flash cards that include a number of facts about the
picture on the reverse side. You can show the flash cards and mention
one of the facts. Mention the same type of fact for all the cards in your
pile, then move to the second fact and so forth. You can prepare a
wide number of flash cards by taking pictures out of old books or
magazines. For example, it would be relatively easy to make flash
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cards from a magazine about astronomy, and sort the facts into
groups. If you check the NASA site or visit NASAs store, you will find a
variety of colorful and interesting picture in a fascinating subject.
When working with flash cards, you can also try the Whole Brain
method. Find or make flash cards in different subjects, and let your
child flip through them as fast as he can. Similarly to photographic
reading, your child will absorb vast amounts of information, that will
come up into his mind when he needs them.
Obviously, the more time you spend with your child on general
knowledge reading books, exploring the world around you, showing
flash cards the more educated your child will become. The more
books your child reads (the quality of his reading material also makes
a difference) the more general knowledge he will have. Watching
videos and television is also helpful. There are excellent programs on
educational television and on videos (check our resource page on
http://www.all-gifted-children.com ). Nowadays, it is so easy to find
information on the Internet! If your child is reading at his computer,
this information is available to him. Otherwise you can print this
information and make flash cards, or simply read it to your child, or
read it with him.
Teach Your Baby to Swim

The benefits from teaching your child to swim are many. It
strengthens the lungs, it improves coordination, it brings more oxygen
to the brain, it increases intelligence. I have recently read about a
phenomena named the Divers Effect. Evidently, when a person
learns to swim under water, and trains himself to do that for longer
and longer periods of time, it has a great effect on the brain, and
increases IQ. The explanation Ive heard for it was that it increases the
capacity of the lungs, therefore increasing the amount of oxygen
that streams to the brain, thus increasing intelligence. I dont know if
this was proven scientifically, but this effect has been observed, and
you as a parent can take advantage of it.
As you know, the fetus in the womb is surrounded by water. That is

probably the reason infants feel very comfortable in warm (not hot)
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water. You know that often when a baby is cranky, you can sooth it by
giving it a warm, relaxing bath.
When you take a newborn baby, and submerge it in water, it will
usually not react with fear. It feels quite natural for a newborn to be
submerged in water, as long as the water is the right temperature.
If you want to train your baby to swim, you have to make sure that
the water is very clean, so the baby doesnt get exposed to bacteria
and disease causing elements. You have to make sure that the water
is warm, to keep the babys body temperature in a healthy range. It is
a good idea to get your pediatricians permission before you start this
activity.
If you work with a newborn, it is a good idea to start in your own
bathtub. A standard size bathtub is an appropriate size pool for a
newborn. Make sure there is no soap in the water.
It is natural and easy to teach a baby to swim, by taking advantage of
a natural reaction babies have: when you blow on their face, they hold
their breath.
At the beginning, just acquaint your child with the water, and make
sure your child associates the water with having a good experience. It
would work best if you get in the water with your baby, and hold your
babys face close to your face. Never leave a young child in the
water unattended! A child can drown in just a few inches of
water! I repeat: never put a child in the water without being
there with him! Watch your baby carefully to notice any reactions of
fear or discomfort. Start submerging your baby in the water, slowly
and gradually, feet first. If the baby reacts by crying or showing any
other signs of discomfort, stop what you are doing. Check the water
temperature. If the water is too cold or too warm, your baby wont like
it!
If your baby is not showing any signs of discomfort, make sure you
play with it in the water for a while, and make sure it is enjoying this
time with you, in the water. If the baby is enjoying this, keep
submerging it until most of its body is in the water. This is good
enough for the first time.
After doing this several times, your child will feel quite comfortable in
the water, and consider this time with you a fun, relaxed and pleasant
activity. Now it is time to submerge your childs mouth in the water.
Most babies will not mind this at all. Do this for a very short time at
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first, and let your child get used to the feeling of having part of his
face in the water.
When you get to this point, when your child is relaxed and enjoys
being in the water, is familiar with the feeling of being submerged in
the water, and feeling comfortable with his mouth in the water, you
count aloud, one, two, three, then blow on his face, and watch to see
his reaction. You will notice that your child is closing his eyes and
holding his breath. Do it again, and submerge your childs mouth and
nose, just for a very short second, in the water. Chances are that
your child will not mind this at all. It is important that you praise your
child, that you laugh, that you make it clear to him that this is a game,
and it is fun. If you feel comfortable and your child feels comfortable,
you can repeat this activity several times, just submerging his mouth
and nose in the water for a very short period of time.
As you repeat this activity, youll develop some confidence doing this
(I must admit, the first time I submerged my newborn son in the
bathwater, my heart skipped a beat). Your child also is learning what
to expect when you count to three and blow on his face. Believe me,
your child will learn very fast what to do when you count and blow: he
will start holding his breath automatically.
From here on, you keep counting, blowing, and submerging, a little bit
deeper each time, very slowly and gradually.
At some point in time, this will become a predictable, fun game. Your
child will come out of the water laughing and you will know that he is
enjoying this, and youll have the confidence necessary for the next
step - letting go of him in the water.
It is important to bear in mind that babies cannot come up for a breath
by themselves. As you know, the head of a baby is very heavy in
comparison to the rest of the body, and his neck muscles are not
strong enough yet to pull his face out of the water and take a breath.
So he is completely dependent on you to help him pull his head out of
the water so he can take a breath.
But at this point, all you need to do is count, blow, and submerge
letting go for just a split second. Make sure your child is not
frightened, or startled in any way. Pick your child up, hold him next to
you, laugh and praise him for his achievements your child is on his
way to learning how to swim, and that is a reason to celebrate!
If everything goes as planned, if your child is comfortable and happy in
the water, you can slowly and gradually increase the amount of time
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you let him float in the water, but remember to pick him up and let
him breathe. You will notice that your child is kicking his legs and
advancing in the water, most likely with open eyes.
If you have worked with your baby in the bath tub until now, this is
wonderful. Now your baby is ready for the swimming pool. Again, the
water in the swimming pool has to be clean, and at the right
temperature. A public swimming pool is probably not a good choice for
a newborn or for a very young baby. When my daughter Tammy was
about 5 months old, I started taking her to the public swimming pool.
The water was kept quite clean, but the temperature was somewhat
low for a baby. Tammy didnt mind that, so it worked out for her.
However, I know for a fact that this temperature would not have
worked out for Eric when he was at the same age, since he was much
more sensitive to cold temperatures. If you have access to a private
swimming pool, that is great. If you dont, you may be able to find a
swim school that specializes in babies. These places keep the water
clean, and the temperature appropriate for babies.
When you have gotten to this point, the next step is to release your
child in the water, make a small step backwards, and let your baby
propel his way towards you. Little children naturally swim doggie
swim and this is fine. At this stage of the game, they do not need to
learn any specific swimming style. After your child is used to doing
this, you can pick his chin up, let him take a breath and then again
count, blow and put him back in the water. Take a small step
backwards. Your child is now swimming!
It will take a while until your child learns to breathe on his own in the
water. Usually, children start lifting their face out of the water to
breathe between the age of 2 and 3, depending on the strength of
their neck muscles and the weight and size of their head. My son,
however, did not discover how to breathe until he was much older. By
the age of 2, he was so adept at swimming that he could swim the
length of our pool underwater, and never faced the need to come up
for a breath. I tried showing him how to breathe - I tried to tell him to
take a breath, but he simply did not need it, and therefore did not do
it.
At this point of time, you can start teaching your child to swim from
you to the side of the swimming pool, or to swim from you to another
person. Also, let him hold on to the side of the swimming pool, and call
him to swim to you. Next, you can teach your child to dive from the
side of the pool. You can invent games, for example submerge some
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toys and let your child retrieve them from the water. Always be careful
and watch your child for any sign of problems. Be right next to your
child all the time, so you can reach him in a heartbeat. Make sure to
help him pull his head out, to take a breath when he needs it.
Even if your child is like a fish in the water, never leave him in the
water alone, dont take your eyes off him not even for a second!
Dont ever leave your child unattended around a body of water, even if
he isnt in the water.
It is a good idea to let your child jump into the water once or twice
with his clothes on, and his shoes on too. (Use old shoes you do not
mind ruining!) This is a very good exercise, since when children fall
into the water, the surprise causes them to lose their cool and
drown. Familiarizing your child with the experience of falling into the
water will make him more likely to keep his cool and swim to the side
if he ever falls into the water with his clothes on.
From now on, your child will naturally learn how to take a breath when
his neck muscles are strong enough. His muscles will become stronger,
his lungs will become stronger. You can always tell the swimmers from
the other kids, because they are built nicely, have wide and strong
shoulders and nice firm arm muscles.
When your child is ready, you can start showing him how to swim Free
style, and after he masters the Free style, you can teach Breast,
Butterfly, Back, all the popular swim styles youd like.
When your child is safe enough in the water, you can also start
training him to swim under water, to take advantage of the Divers
Effect.
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Gymnastics and Gross Motor

Coordination
It is very important to make sure that your child is doing physical
activity, as well as academics. Physical activity will improve
coordination, improve health and strength, and develop your childs
brain too.
For a young baby, the best way to start is using a gymnastic ball. You
can use the same size ball many people use for exercise for adults.
The trick with using the ball is starting very slowly. You put your baby
on the ball, lying on its tummy, or sitting, while supporting the baby.
When your child is lying on his tummy on the ball, he will start using
his neck muscles to raise his head. This strengthens the neck muscles,
back, and arms. Start moving the ball very slowly. Your child will feel
unsettled at the beginning, so provide ample of support. When you
start moving the ball very slowly, your child will start using his
muscles to balance his body. After your child feel comfortable on the
ball, you can start moving the ball in bigger motions, and reduce the
amount of support you provide. Always make sure your child is
safe. At the end, you will just hold the childs hands, and let the child
balance his body as you are moving the ball.
As a continuation, for kids older than a year, you can let your child lay
his hands on the floor, on a towel, while his feet are supported by the
ball. This will look similar to a head stand for younger children, and as
a handstand for slightly older children. Move the ball very slightly, and
let your child use his arms to support his body. Start with short
periods of time, you may increase the length of time you let your child
do it, after you have done this several times, and you know how long
your child can do this without being uncomfortable. This exercise is
very beneficial. It strengthens the arms and shoulders, the back
muscles, and also increases blood flow to the brain. It improves the
sense of balance, too.
Here in the United States, kiddy gymnastics schools are very popular.
These are exercise classes for babies and toddlers. There are classes
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where the children are accompanied by the parent, other classes teach
the children alone. Here the exercise is often done with musical
accompaniment, and the children have lots of fun. Those are great.
For older children, head stand and hand stand are fabulous exercises
to learn and practice. Tumbling is a great skill your child can learn at a
gym class at a gym club.
A word about gym and tumbling classes: I definitely encourage gym

classes, but you have to be involved and make sure that your child is
safe, and not pushed too hard. My daughter loved gymnastics from a
very young age, and I enrolled her in a gymnastics class at the young
age of 4. The other kids were at least 6, so the teachers were
especially gentle with my little one, and careful. However, when she
was in elementary school She graduated to a different gym school.
This school was based on a very ambitious program, designed to find
the talented girls and prepare them for the Olympics. It was also
based on the method of choosing few from a big number of girls. The
teachers were very young, didnt have training as teachers (they were
gymnasts themselves) and didnt know how to keep the children safe
and how to avoid injuries. They have pushed the children to perform
even if they had pain as a result of a strained muscle. Occasionally,
when the children warmed up or worked on flexibility, a teacher would
go to a child and bend their leg, or back, to help them stretch a
muscle.
Many gymnastics teachers seem to think that this practice is safe. In

my opinion, this is very risky. The teacher who is stretching the childs
muscle does not feel the pain, the child does, so he lacks the most
important tool to tell how far he can stretch the muscle safely.
When you choose a gymnastics school for your child, observe the gym
classes, and make sure the specific school employs experienced
teachers, who are trained specifically as teachers. Teachers who know
how to keep your child from getting injured, who treat your child with
respect, who are careful not to push your child beyond their physical
ability. (In this case it would be real pushing).
Dancing classes are wonderful, and all sports activities carried in

schools are great, even though some of them are somewhat risky.
Again, make sure the teacher is experienced and safety oriented. It is
important to make sure the ball games are played during the cool
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hours in the summer, and plenty of water is available to your child, to

avoid over heating and dehydrations.
In addition to the common sports that are taught and practiced in

school, there are some very beneficial activities that are taught in
private, specific schools. Fencing, for example, is not widely practiced
here in the US, but it is very beneficial. It trains your child to focus,
increases response time, and improves coordination. If your child is
not the athletic type, who likes to play Baseball, Football, Soccer or
Basketball, try to enroll him in fencing classes. He might like it. Roller
skating or ice skating are becoming very popular, and improve the
sense of balance tremendously. Horseback riding, is a great activity. In
addition to the riding itself, children learn how to take care of the
horses, and learn responsibility. If you have access to these activities
and the means to do it, please consider interesting your child in them,
it can provide much enjoyment and development opportunities.
If you have followed my advice in the Teach Your Baby to Swim

chapter, your child will already swim when he is at school age. Keep it
up! If possible, have him join a swim team, so that he can practice
every day. You will see tremendous benefits over the year.
Swimming is especially beneficial for children with Asthma. Doctors
recommend swimming to children with Asthma, because of its
strengthening effect on the lungs. Ive heard that many of the Olympic
swimmers started swimming after the doctor recommended taking up
swimming because of Asthma.
Fun Activities While Increasing

Intelligence
Research on the brain is still in progress. We already know some
things about the brain, but much of it is still to be discovered. New
things are discovered daily.
Much is being hypothesized about the connection between the right

and the left hemispheres of the brain. The following activities have
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been observed to increase intelligence, improve hand-eye

coordination, and strengthen the connection between the brain
hemispheres. But above all - these activities are BIG FUN and
improve the well- being of your child. In addition - your child will enjoy
big popularity among his friends, and that is the icing on the cake.
Balancing Ball: For very young babies and for toddlers, you can start
developing a sense of balance, using a balancing ball. You can use a
big, somewhat soft, ball. An exercise ball like the ones that are used in
gyms everywhere nowadays are appropriate, but make sure that it is
soft and doesnt cause any discomfort to the baby. You can lay the
baby on the ball, or hold him in a sitting position, and while holding
him gently start rolling the ball in different directions. You will notice
that your baby is adjusting his body to keep balance on the ball. Be as
gentle as needed for the childs safety and comfort. You can increase
the movement as the baby gets stronger and his muscles get stronger.
This will help with coordination, balance and strength.
For older children, you can move on to standing on the ball while
balancing, and gradually into walking while rolling the ball first
forwards and then backwards. This will take some practice, and for
safety reasons hold your childs hand and support him first, until he
becomes very adept at this. Also start with a smaller ball.
Juggling: This activity is such fun! By practicing, your child can

improve and learn new tricks for many years to come. There are
juggling clubs all over the place, where people meet on the weekend
to juggle, learn new tricks and pass the names of clubs to others. I am
sure you can find a club in your area.
My son started juggling after visiting a juggling store that we passed

by on our way to his chess club. We went in, and talked with the
owner who - of course - was an enthusiast in juggling and all the other
circus arts. He was more than ready to show my son how to learn how
to juggle, and we bought juggling balls and clubs (not really cheap).
This little juggling bug had bitten my son, and he is still an avid
juggler. Juggling and all the circus arts he has mastered have brought
him many hours of pleasure, helped him make many friends, and
made him very popular in summer camps and other occasions.
You can juggle balls, clubs, oranges and everything in between. You
can juggle two balls or six balls, two clubs or six clubs, and maybe
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even more. You can team up with a group of jugglers and fling the
clubs around amongst the other players. You can juggle standing on
the ground, balancing on a ball or on a unicycle. It is a wonderful
activity. (If you want to see a pretty good demonstration of how to
juggle three balls, go to www.acm.uiuc.edu/webmonkeys/juggling/).
It is not really easy to start juggling, and takes some patience, but it is
worth the effort. At University of California Berkeley, the juggling club
has many members from the Math department, students to
professors.
You can start teaching your child and practicing at home with three
soft objects at the appropriate size for your childs hands. Learn to
throw one ball in the air and catch it with the other hand, then practice
throwing two balls from both hands, and catching them with the other
hand. And then, after your child is very comfortable with that, add the
third ball.
Lots of people learned to juggle from Juggling for the Complete Klutz.
Its well written, funny, comes with three beanbags, and lists for about
eleven dollars (in 2005).
I cant tell you at what age your child is ready to do this. You have to
try and see if your child is interested. The best way to start, of course,
is taking your child to see other jugglers, and if your child shows
interest and motivation, you can start teaching him the basics. Have
patience, and make sure your child does not get frustrated if he
doesnt succeed immediately. This does take some patience and time.
Roller skating: I believe that learning to balance early in life has

great value. When I was growing up, there was no roller skating or ice
skating where I lived. Since I grew up in a city, I learned how to ride a
bike later than most kids nowadays: I was about 10. I have never
become a good bike rider; I can do it, but I dont feel comfortable
riding, and panic when I hear a car behind me. It is very
recommended to get your child involved with activities that teach how
to balance, and I will mention a few options.
Here in the Silicon Valley where we live, there are many skating rinks
that have special sessions for the younger kids. Shortly after my son
started walking, I was already taking him to roller skating sessions.
They had young people (teenagers) who worked with the kids. They
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were very good with the kids, friendly and up-beat. The parents could
be with the child on the rink. It was OK to wear regular shoes, if the
parent was not interested in skating (I cant skate). The kids had great
fun! There always was a lesson, which started with teaching the kids
how to start, how to stop, and how to get up if they fell. Then there
was music and dances, and the kids got some time to just practice and
skate around the rink at their own pace. Check if you have a skating
rink in your vicinity, and if they have classes for the little ones. If they
dont, suggest it to them - they might adopt the idea.
Bicycle, unicycle: Most kids I know can ride a bike. It is considered a

part of childhood here in the US and around the world. You can start
teaching your child how to ride a bike at a very early age, and the
earlier the better. Riding a unicycle is an entirely different thing; even
so, its a wonderful thing to learn! It is a superb way to gain this sense
of balance that is so beneficial, and you learn it for life! Riding a
unicycle is a great exercise. It uses muscles you usually do not use,
and it is great fun. It is a unique skill that your child can show off and
enjoy. An additional advantage is this: riding a unicycle is far less
dangerous than riding a bike. If you live in a busy area, you know how
dangerous it is to ride a bike. I never wanted my kids to ride a bike; I
was worried about their safety. My daughter was brought home one
day by two high school girls. Evidently, she was riding her bike and
she fell. The girls decided to bring her home to make sure that she
was all right. Thank God, she did not break her leg, but she did have a
sprain and was in a lot of pain. When youre riding a unicycle and you
lose your balance, youll end up in a standing position, you wont fall
over (if the unicycle is the right size). Also, in many cities and
countries, the unicycle is not considered a vehicle, and it is permitted
to ride it on the sidewalk. The chances of hitting an innocent
pedestrian are minimal. Lets just say that when my son is riding his
unicycle on the sidewalk, I am much less worried than when he rides
his bike.
There are many other circus arts and fun skills that develop a sense of
balance and coordination, and contribute to this all-important
connection between the right and the left brain hemispheres. But if
you start with the ones that I have just mentioned, your child will
benefit on many levels. They are fun, theyre beneficial, and all around
just great! Use the safety precautions necessary, have your child wear
the right protective gear (helmet is important), and have fun, fun, fun!
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Learning to Apply Information
There are many definitions of intelligence, but the one I learned in

high school claimed that intelligence in nature is the ability of an
animal or a human to use the information they have acquired.
I have also read about the idea that there are several levels of
learning. The lowest level of learning is just memorizing the material
and being able to regurgitate it in the same way that it was
presented, and the highest levels of learning are the those that use
the material in other contexts, or that build on top of the material
learned.
If you teach your child about addition, and he immediately

understands the concept of subtraction; or if you teach your child
about the structure of the dinosaurs teeth in relation to their food, and
he looks at your pet and tries to guess the structure of their teeth,
based on their food: then your child is employing the highest levels of
learning.
Well - you dont need to wait for your child to develop that level of
learning by himself. You can develop this habit and way of thinking on
purpose. Here are some examples:
If you have a baby, and you are looking for books to read to or with
your baby, choose several books with related subjects. For example, if
you have a book that tells a story about an animal (a bear, a duck, a
platypus - whatever animals often appear in childrens books), look for
another book that gives different information about the same animal.
The child will associate the information in one book with the
information in the other book.
For school age children: if you are helping your child with math,
always find a use for the concept you are learning. For example:
addition. Tell a story that demonstrates the use of addition: for
example: John went to the store to buy candy. He bought one bar of
Snickers that cost him one dollar and a bag of Chocolate Kisses that
cost two dollars. How much did he spend? Or, if youre helping your
child with history, and the discussion is about a certain place, pull out
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a map and show him exactly where the place is, and help him learn
something about its geography.
You dont have to wait for your child to do some activity at school; you
can do this anytime. Whenever you discuss something, or observe
something that catches your attention, when you get the chance - find
a piece of information about that subject in the encyclopedia. For
example, you have taken your child to visit a friend, and you have
heard that one of the friends parents is a lawyer. When you come
home, find a story about a famous lawyer, or some other bit of
information about lawyers. Remind your child that the friends parent
is a lawyer, just like in the story.
In this way, you are developing in your child the habit of looking for a
way to apply the information they acquire, to look for the association
between different bits of information, to relate their knowledge to
other fields and subjects.
This is true intelligence.
Its Time To Go To School
Congratulations! Your child is going to school next year. I bet you are
excited, and your child should be extremely excited about going to
school, being "a big boy" (or girl, please forgive me for using "boy" for
both sexes).
This exciting time is often accompanied by a few considerations and
decisions you have to make. One of the main questions parents ask, is
"How do I know if my child is ready?" I often hear parents say that
they think their child is still very childish. OK, but at the tender age of
5 or even 6, what child isn't childish? You can't expect a child of this
age to be anything but childish. "So how do I know? ", you ask.
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It's an important question. You don't want to make a mistake. You

don't want to hold your child back, if he is ready. But you don't want
to send your child to school, if he is not ready yet.
I've heard many mothers say that they kept their child back a year,
and they are very happy they have done so. Mothers will say that
they kept their child one year longer in Kindergarten, or let their child
go to Kindergarten one year later, and found out that their child was
more mature, and had an easier time achieving success.
Every child is different. So you, the parent, have to use your common
sense and best judgment.. Nobody knows your child better than you,
and you are the only person who gets to decide. It is your right, and
your responsibility.
I'd like to share a little bit of my experience. Since my opinion in this
matter is not the popular one, I recommend that you hear what I have
to say, give it serious consideration, and then decide, based on your
own judgment and common sense.
My sister and I (we are twins) were born at the end of December. We
started going to day-care/Kindergarten at age three and at the age of
5 (after 2 years) my mother decided that we are ready to start 1st
grade. (School then started with 1st grade, Kindergarten was not
included).
The cut-off date was in September, but the secretary has not put up a
big argument, and just enrolled us in school. My mother did not take
us with her, so the secretary could not see us. This helped, since both
of us (we are identical twins) were very small, and at age 5 we still
looked like three year old babies.
In spite of the fact that we looked younger than all other kids (we
were almost 2 years younger than some kids, and looked much
younger than our age), we had no problems socially, had many friends
and enjoyed our school years. We had no problems with the materials
taught. On the contrary, both of us were ways ahead, earning top
grades.
There was only one problem: the school had no special program for
gifted or advanced children, and the teaching in school was ways too
slow for me. (I think it was the case for my sister too, but I am the
one who caused a bigger problem). I was always bored in class, and as
a result used to chat with the kids around me, causing the teachers a
major annoyance.
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I remember that one day my mother was invited to meet with the
history teacher, who complained that I am laughing in his class. My
mother, who was tired of hearing the teachers' complaints told him
that the more I laugh the happier she is. "I have a happy child", she
said to the teacher. "May God keep her happy throughout her life".
As opposed to many other kids, who are bored in the classroom, this
situation has not developed into a big problem for me. Using my sense
of humor, I just kept having a good time in school, and despite some
complaints, the teachers were happy to put up with me.
The fact that my experience in school did not develop into a problem,
was just a lucky coincidence, that was a result of the specific
environment I was put in: loving, warm and understanding teachers
and parents who were good communicators. I suppose the fact that we
were so small and kind of cute did not hurt either.
I was lucky, but thousands of kids (if not more) every year suffer in
school and create serious behavioral problems. The reason? They have
active minds, and they are bored. As we have discussed before, many
of them get wrongly diagnosed with ADD, and put on medication.
Some get labeled as "special education" cases, and suffer a permanent
injury to their self esteem.
Everybody thinks that putting a child that is not ready yet into school,
will cause the child some suffering. Please, consider that the opposite
is also true. Putting a child into an environment that does not
challenge him intellectually, or even worse - bores him, causes the
child real suffering. And I can attest to that.
Often parents ask the following question, when their children are
advanced, academically. "Should my child skip a grade?" Teachers
often advise against this practice. Teachers think that your child, being
the youngest after skipping a grade, will not have the same emotional
maturity as his peers, or the same interests (members of the opposite
sex, for example, at a certain age) as his peers, and will suffer
socially. I can appreciate their concern, but I can't say that I agree.
According to my experience, in every classroom there are children of
different ages and different levels of development. Your child will find
the friends who are compatible with him. It is important that your child
will be challenged and will get his educational needs met.
A very important suggestion I have for parents of all kids in school: be
involved with school as much as possible. Volunteer your time, if your
schedule allows it. Go into the classroom when you drop your child off
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or pick him up. See what is being done in the classroom, look at other
children's work, to see if your child measures up. Talk with your child's
teacher as often as possible. Call the school, talk to the teacher on the
phone, if you can't spare the time to go there.
Many parents assume that if there was a problem with their children,
the teacher would notify them. You can't assume that. The teacher
might have different expectations of your child than you have. The
teacher might not consider the situation as a problem, but you want to
know as soon as possible if your child falls behind on any of his
assignments or skills. When you know about things like this early, you
can work with your child to catch up, before it becomes a problem.
Make sure you know what the homework is. Asking your child if he
completed his homework is not enough. Look at the quality of work,
know what your child is studying in school. Know what quality of work
is expected of him at his grade level. Don't be afraid to help with
homework. I don't suggest that you do the homework for your child.
Work with your child, assist your child. Don't forget to celebrate
successes and achievements, and praise your child for every honest
effort. Try, if you can, to turn working with your child on homework
into a fun experience.
You probably have noticed that children are brilliant at the subjects
they really like. If your child enjoys learning, he will always succeed in
school. Make sure that nobody ever spoils your child's enjoyment of
learning. Please keep this in mind, throughout your child's school
years.
Since you want your child to excel, provide your child with
supplemental material. For example, you can plan a fun trip to a
museum that shows exhibits that are related to the material your child
is learning about. You can visit places your child is learning about in
History. Find a movie related to a subject your child learned in school.
Show your child how to research a subject on the Internet. Talk with
your child about the material he learned in school, ask questions that
will encourage your child to think about the material. If your child likes
art, you can provide art materials (for example, water color and
brushes) and spend some time with your child, creating a masterpiece
that is related to the material your child learned about. Above all,
make these activities fun, fun, fun.
I advise parents to find out from the school staff, what special
programs the school offers for the gifted and talented. Find out if the
school district has a special program. You have to be proactive on this.
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Call the school district's office, be informed. Often parents are not
informed about these special programs, and their children miss out.
Don't wait for your teacher to suggest it, ask about it, make sure you
know about any special program, and pursue anything that is
available. Some schools and school districts offer seminars and special
classes, and you want to make sure that your child is included. Find
out early what the requirements are, so that you can help your child
meet them. Talk to your child's teacher. Sometimes the teacher's
recommendation is all that is needed. If the teacher doesn't know that
you are interested, he might not recommend it.
The elementary school district Eric went to, had a special program for
the gifted. They had excellent seminars on various subjects. Once a
trimester, a list of seminars was sent out to parents, for them to
choose and sign up. I have figured out a system, to make sure that
Eric gets into the seminars of his choice: the day the list came home, I
immediately helped Eric make his choices and fill out the registration
form. Then I hopped into my car, and drove to the school district's
offices, I walked in and hand delivered out registration forms. Our
registration form was always the first one to get there (the other
parents have sent it in by mail) and Eric was never disappointed.
Some times you have to be creative, in order for your child to get into
the most interesting programs!
Teach your child organizational skills and time management skills
early. These things are not taught in school, and will make a big
difference in your child's success. Even young children can learn
organization. Buy your child an organizer as early as your child can
handle it, and help them keep their organizer updated.
Another thing that is very useful: most schools will let you choose your
child's teacher. Before the school year ends, find out who the teachers
are your child may have the following school year. Interview them, ask
questions. Ask for permission to visit their classrooms, and observe
them. Talk with parents of kids who had them the year before. When
you know your choice of a teacher, let the school know. Most schools
try to accommodate parents' requests. Finding a teacher who shares
your philosophies will help making the school year a smooth and
satisfying one.
Talk with other parents often. Other parents are a wealth of
information about what happens in the classroom. Find out what their
kids tell them about school, how their kids feel about the school and
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the teachers. You might be surprised with the amount of information

you get.
In summary, make sure that your child is not bored in school. Be
active in your child's school, volunteer to help in the classroom, that
gives you a valuable opportunity to see what your child is studying and
how he interacts with his peers and with the teachers. Be in constant
communication with your child's teacher. Make sure your child knows
that his education is very important to you. Help your child with
homework, know what he is doing and check his homework often.
Provide supplemental materials and activities for active learning. Help
your child remember the material by asking questions.
I wish your children lots of success and enjoyment in school, and you,
the parents, satisfaction and pride in your children.
Health, Food and Nutrition
Health is number 1. When a person is ill, doesnt feel good, is bothered

by physical discomfort, everything he does is affected by this feeling.
If your child is not in tip-top shape, his brain will not function in tip-top
shape either.
Two factors that you control are big contributors to your childs
physical condition: exercise and nutrition.
In previous generations, kids walked to school and from school, often
running. When they came home from school, they ate a hearty meal,
completed their homework and went out to play with their friends in
the fresh air, jumping, running, playing ball.
Nowadays, things have changed significantly from the good old days.
Children get far less exercise. The school yard is confined, the children
go to and from it by bus, they still get to run around some, but not as
much as they used to. Many children have a very hefty amount of
work to do, so they spend far longer than they used to completing
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their homework, leaving much less time for play. In their free time,
they often just watch television, or play electronic games.
Children are heavier than they used to be, and obesity is
widespread.
I cant stress enough how important it is for your child to be in good
condition. If you child is not getting enough play, make sure he is
getting enough physical exercise. There are many sports programs
your child can participate in.
One of the most superior physical activities out there is swimming. In
my opinion, swimming is just about the most beneficial activity
children can take up. The chances for muscle and bone injuries are
minimal. Swimming contributes to muscle strength, coordination, and
above all lung capacity. While swimming, there is plenty of oxygen
supply to the body, the lungs and the brain!
Swimming is beneficial in every age. Infants can be taught how to
swim, and older children can practice swimming as participants of
swimming teams. Teaching a child how to swim is also great for safely
reasons.
Other beneficial physical activities are all kinds of sports, gymnastics,
ball games, and games like jump rope, hopscotch and so forth.
Music - a Superior Tool for Brain

Development
Whether you have high aspirations for your child in the area of music
or not, learning and listening to music is highly advantageous for your
child.
It is common for mothers of very young children to sing to them, in

order to calm them at the end of the day, so that they go to sleep.
Hymns and patriotic music are played on official occasions and at
conventions to arouse patriotic feelings in people. Loud, fast music
with a strong tempo is played at parties to motivate people to dance
and have fun. Romantic type music is played in movies as
accompaniment for romantic scenes.
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Music has the power to change our mood and affect us in ways no
other tool can.
In addition to all that, and most important for our children, it has been
shown in research and statistics that listening to music results in the
creation of special neural connections in our brain, neural connections
that increase our intelligence. There is a very interesting correlation
between math and music, and it has been shown that people who are
mathematically inclined are also talented in music. Learning musical
theory is very enriching to a child, and listening and playing music is a
superior tool for the development of the auditory memory.
Above all, when your child is learning music, he is achieving all this
growth, while having fun and enjoying himself. Offer your child the
opportunity to take music lessons, to choose his favorite instrument,
and let him decide if and when he is interested. If he is not interested
in the present moment, dont forget to try again later, as your child
might be ready to start then.
If you love music, or are interested in music yourself, why not sing or
play with your child? It will bring you closer together, and strengthen
the bond you have with your child forever! Music is an excellent tool to
improve your relationship with your child, especially during the
difficult teenager years.
Babies and Toddlers: Start with listening to music. If you have a

newborn or a young baby, you can play classical music during the day,
while you are busy with all your other activities. It is also good to play
soft, classical music while the child is asleep. Another good time is
while you are driving with your baby in the car. But dont limit yourself
just to classical music! Play childrens songs, sing to your child and
with your child often. Another thing you can do is taking your child to
concerts, maybe with a partner or a friend, and agree ahead of time
that if the baby cries, one of you takes the baby out. See how it goes.
You might have a baby that is naturally quiet in concerts. Another
thing you can do is taking the baby to outdoor concerts. In most cities,
during the summer there are free outdoor concerts of different styles
of music. Those are excellent opportunities to expose babies and
toddlers to different styles of music, while they can watch the players
and the different instruments.
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Very young children can start learning to play a musical instrument.

There are many teachers that are trained to work with babies, and the
Suzuki method was specifically developed with the very young in mind.
Make sure you find a teacher that understands children! Remember
the story I told of how his teacher told off my two-year-old Eric for not
sitting still for hours during a recital! The teacher we found later really
knew how to engage Eric in the lessons, and how to adjust her lesson
plan to his interests.
For parents who would like to find a suitable music teacher for their
children in their area, here is a directory of music teachers:
http://www.musicstaff.com/
School-aged Children: Because of the cost-cutting measures many

school districts have taken, music is hardly taught in school any more.
If your child has not taken any music lessons yet, make sure he is
exposed to different kinds of music. One trick that worked for me was
playing the classical music channel whenever we had to be in the car.
Having a busy schedule, like most people nowadays, we spent a long
time in the car, and I took the opportunity to play classical music from
the radio or from CDs.
A highly recommended activity that children love is learning to play an

instrument by ear. This is an excellent method of strengthening the
auditory discrimination of your child. This will have a profound effect
on his learning ability. A good program for learning to play the guitar
is provided by Jamorama. This program is an excellent place to start,
until your child is ready to go to music lessons, or if its difficult for you
to enroll your child in guitar lessons at the moment. Your child can use
this program at the privacy of your own home; he will learn to play
popular music, and maybe later will become interested in classical
guitar.
Whether your child is taking music lessons or not, playing an

instrument or not, make sure to provide ample opportunities to listen
to music, and to watch other people playing a variety of instruments.
When my son was about 13, he wanted to go to a concert of a popular
band. We wanted to support him, and thought that it would be a great
opportunity for us all to enjoy music together, so my husband and I
bought three tickets to the concert. The music was so loud that we
could not take it. As we left the concert hall, a savvy fan offered to
give us some of those things that you put in your ears to block the
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noise. We went back in, and enjoyed the rest of the concert with our
son, who was having a great time! In my sons opinion, we were the
coolest parents, making it possible for him to attend the concert, and
enjoying the evening with him. You should expose your child to many
types and styles of music, not just what he is naturally introduced to
by his friends. Go to concerts together (even if the style of music is
not your favorite).
Let your child listen to oldies; you never know, he might like them!
Tell him stories about old singers, especially the singers that you like
and admire.
Summary: Music is an excellent tool to increase your childs

intelligence and his auditory memory and discrimination, while
enriching his enjoyment of life. It gives your child the opportunity to
meet other children his age, participate in recitals and bands, and
excel in one more area. It is advantageous for children of all ages,
from infant to college students (and adults), and gives you, the
parent, the opportunity to enjoy this activity with your children and
strengthen your bond and friendship with them.
The King of Games - The Game of

Kings
Many people still think that the game of chess is appropriate only for
old people. In their minds eye, they see two elderly people sitting
across from each other in the park, playing a game of chess. Well, it
might sound surprising to you, but you can teach even a very young
child to play! It has shown to be extremely beneficial for children of all
ages to learn to play chess, and in addition, it is very entertaining. It is
impossible to overstate how much value a child gets from playing
chess.
When my son Eric was about 2 or 3, he showed interest in board

games, so I asked my husband if he knew how to play chess. I didnt
know how myself at the time, but luckily he knew the basics, and
volunteered to teach little Eric. Eric took to it immediately. One day,
my husband and I walked into a computer store to buy a piece of
hardware, and in the back room we saw a person sitting in front of the
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computer, playing chess. We started a conversation with him, and

found out that he was a chess teacher. When we came home, we
asked Eric if he would like us to find a teacher for him: he was very
excited about it.
After some looking around and making some phone calls (now I know
exactly who to call and where to look) we found a recent immigrant
from Russia who was a gifted chess teacher. Some of his students had
become very famous grandmasters. So we made an appointment with
the teacher, and he played a game of chess with our little boy. He
looked at us after the game and said, rather impressed: he is making
all the right moves, it is amazing. Eric was 4 at the time, and the
teacher took him on as a student.
Since then, chess has been a part of our life. It has enriched our lives
a great deal. Thanks to chess, we have traveled and seen parts of the
country and of the world that we would have never traveled to
otherwise. Whenever we visited a new place, we always looked for a
street corner or a coffee house where people might be playing chess,
and always met interesting people and made new friends. There is
always something new to learn; avid players spend a significant
amount of time learning and practicing. Many people find enjoyment in
participating in tournaments.
All over the country there are many chess clubs that encourage the
participation of children, and many scholastic tournaments are taking
place all the time. Players of all skill levels are encouraged to play in
tournaments, and players of similar skill levels are paired to play with
each other.
What will your child learn from playing chess?
He will learn how to put together a plan, and follow up on it.
He will learn to think out a few moves ahead of time, based on

memory and imagination.
He will learn how to concentrate.
He will learn the difference between strategy and tactics.
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He will learn to think before he acts, that every move has

consequences.
He will learn to play fair and be courteous.
He will improve his visual memory and visual discrimination.
He will learn how to follow the rules.
He will learn to take responsibility.
He will learn to have patience.
He will develop his creativity.
There are so many more benefits to studying and playing chess that
you will have to discover them for yourself.
When we started taking little Eric to a kids chess club, we met some
kids that were highly gifted. I will never forget a little boy, 8 years old,
who played a game of blindfold chess with the teacher, who was a
master. (Blindfold means that the player is not looking at the board,
and has to play the game out of memory). The little boy played a
whole game that way and beat the master.
The most successful children were the ones who started very early:
children who had an older sibling or a parent who played chess, and
who had the opportunity to watch the game when they were babies.
If you have a baby, if possible let him watch people playing chess. Do
you play? Wonderful! Let the baby watch. If you dont play, find a
chess club in your neighborhood, or a game in a park or a
coffeehouse, and let the baby watch the games as long as hes
interested. Some babies will be fascinated and watch the game for a
long time, some will watch just for a few minutes. No problem! Let the
baby watch as long as he wants. Even a few minutes will do. Do it as
often as possible.
At home, have a chessboard around, and occasionally just show the

baby the different pieces, and mention their names. Do it a few times
a day. This is a good start for a baby to get acquainted with the chess
pieces.
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When your child is ready (and the parents know best!), you can show
him how to move the pieces. A little bit a day will do. Make sure that
the child spends some time around chess players and gets the
opportunity to watch some games.
For school age children, the best thing to do is to sit with them,
explain the game and play with them. (You can tickle their interest by
explaining the term checkmate to them, and mentioning that it
comes from the ancient Persian words that mean, the king is dead!)
If you dont enjoy chess or dont know how to play, you can find a
teacher, or a chess club that accommodates children.
Here is a special word about girls and chess: some of the best players
are girls! Just look at the sisters Polgar, and many other female chess
players. If you have a girl, encourage her to play chess; it is a most
beneficial activity for girls as well as boys. (In 1988, at the 28th
Olympiad, a Polish team including Szuzsa (Susie), Sofia, and Judit
Polgar, aged 19, 14, and 12, defeated the heavily-favored Russian
Womens team. Chess has always been very popular in the former
Soviet empire, important matches having been followed on TV and in
the newspapers, and the Russians have a formidable list of Masters
and Grand Masters, of both sexes and all ages).
There are many chess computer games on the market, from very
affordable programs like Chess master up to very expensive software
and dedicated chess computers. They are all fine, but remember -
when your child plays with human beings, he learns much more and
enjoys himself a lot more. It is a completely different experience. So
take my advice, let your child play with other children, or even
adults. Computer games can be a good addition.
A good place to start is the Chess Federation of your country. Here, in

the US, we are lucky to have a very active Chess Federation, and
many chess activities for young children. Here are some helpful links
and resources:
www.uschess.org/beginners - Ten Tips for Winning Chess
http://www.uschess.org/ - The US Chess Federation
http://www.fide.com/ - The World Chess Federation
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Relaxation and Yoga for all Age

Groups, and Parents Too.
What does relaxation have to do with genius and intelligence? A whole

lot! As you know, when a person is tense and stressed out, creativity
and learning are stifled and restricted. It is hard to believe, but
children nowadays are as stressed as the adults in their life. It is not
surprising if you consider that children, smart as they are, are
excellent at detecting the mood of their parents and their state of
mind. What family nowadays is completely free of hurry, stress and
overload?
When you provide tools for relaxation to your children, you are
benefiting them two-fold: you are helping them relax and therefore
make it easier for them to enjoy life, to create and develop, and at the
same time you are giving them tools to relieve stress that they can
use for the rest of their lives. Try the tools that are suggested in this
article and notice if you are feeling more relaxed too.
Babies: The most appropriate relaxation for babies is the baby

massage. There are many methods recommended and used in
different cultures. Massage in infants has to be very gentle. Remember
- the goal here is not to invigorate! It is to calm, relax and sooth, and
it is supposed to be very pleasant for the baby. Gentle and loving
touching is essential for babys development and well-being.
In India, it is customary to massage children over a week old, every

day, starting with one minute and increasing gradually to five minutes.
A ball of very soft dough is used, dipped in Almond Oil.
Using your hands, you can start with a drop of Almond Oil, massaging
the babys head very gently, and then massage the arms and the legs,
in gentle long strokes, away from the body. Massage the arms gently
away from the body and towards the fingers, paying attention to
gently massaging the palm of the hand, and every little finger. Then
you can move to the legs, in a similar way, paying attention to
massage the feet gently. The belly can be massaged gently in round
motion, clockwise. This is helpful for digestion and to sooth colicky
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babies. Dont do this too soon after eating, wait for a few hours after a
meal.
Playing soft, classical music during the massage also helps to relax the
baby and the massage provider.
Age 2 to 5: Yoga - adapted for children - is very beneficial at this age.

It helps children relax and develop a better awareness of their bodies.
You start with a breathing exercise, which increases that amount of
oxygen the child gets, improves the breathing habits of your child (all
of us have developed a bad habit of shallow breathing), and increases
the breathing awareness of your child. It will also increase
concentration, a priceless benefit.
Balloon Breathing: Play soothing music of your choice or the childs

choice, and instruct your child to put his palms on his belly, on both
sides of the navel. Tell your child to breath in through his nose, and
think of his belly as a balloon, filling with air. Count to 4 (and increase
it to 9 gradually, over time). Wait a minute, and tell your child to pay
special attention to the point of time when the inhale turns into an
exhale - just to be aware of it. Then empty the balloon, again,
counting till 4. You can start with 3 times, and increase to 10
gradually. Do it with your child, it will be great for you too!
Blow the Candle: This one is fun! It will strengthen your childs
lungs, and increase your childs control over his breathing. Have him
put his hands on his belly again, and fill the balloon with air to the
count of 4. Then hold a hand in front of him, or have him hold his own
hand in front of him, and blow at it, as if it was a candle, 4 times,
without breathing in. He can repeat this exercise 3 times, increasing
gradually to 7.
Relaxation and Meditation. This activity is great for all age groups.
Here, relaxing music is very important. While playing the music, have
your child lay flat on his back, arms by his side, and feet at a small
distance from each other. Have him pay attention to one muscle at a
time, starting with the bottom of the feet, and ending with the scalp.
Have him tense up, and then relax each muscle, one at a time. Have
him close his eyes, then imagine himself walking on the beach. His
feet feel the warm, deep sand he is walking on. Have him imagine
hearing the seagulls, hearing the monotonous sound the waves are
making, as they are moving back and forth. Have him feel the breeze
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on his skin and on his face, the pleasant and healing rays of gentle sun
on his face. Smell the salty air. Involve all of the childs senses. Do
this only as long as you can keep the childs attention. A good time to
do this would be before the child goes to sleep in the evening. Many
times your child will relax and go to sleep. If you want to include some
affirmations, as were mentioned before, now would be an excellent
time to include them. For example: for relaxation, you can say, You
are completely relaxed, calm and serene.
If your children are older, you can prepare a recording of this for
them, or have them prepare one for themselves in their own voice.
This is a very valuable tool to have your child relaxed before tests or
before events that make him tense or excited.
Headstand, handstand: This exercise is extremely beneficial. Yoga

teachers claim this improves all senses, that it will improve eyesight
and hearing as well as concentration and focusing. It is great for
people all ages, but if you or your child are suffering from high blood
pressure, you should avoid it. Children find it easy to do the headstand
and handstand. After a short period of practicing, they will be able to
this perfectly.
Start by leaning against a wall for handstand. You can help by holding
your childs legs, so that you make sure that he doesnt fall on his
head.
For headstand, have your child put his head on a folded towel, and his
hands on both sides of the shoulders, forming a triangle with the head.
Then, with careful control, lift his feet up until his legs and his body
are straight. At the beginning, help your child by holding his legs, so
that he feels safe and secure, and doesnt fall over.
Teenagers and adolescents: This is the age group that is most

affected by stress and pressure, but also the age group that is most
difficult to relax! They tend to listen to fast and active music, which is
not relaxing at all, and many of them wont pay attention to you. It is
not easy to improve their relaxation and well-being. The best thing
that I have found that works for teenagers is to enroll them in
swimming. Maybe you have access to a swim team, at school or in
your neighborhood. Youngsters who participate on a swim team will be
asked to practice every day, or several times a week. Swimming is a
wonderful activity. Its relaxing, it improves breathing and lung
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capacity, muscle strength and general health and fitness. As it

improves lung capacity, it also improves the oxygen flow into the
brain, thus helping with concentration and brain development. If your
teenager is interested in Yoga, you can enroll him in a class.
How Can I Motivate My Child?
My son participated in the local science fair, and after winning first
place in the event, was sent to participate in the California State Fair.
In Los Angeles, thousands of children participated. Children and
parents prepared for this event for a whole year, or even longer.
Looking around me, I saw teams bringing in their huge project boards,
excited parents accompanying their children and carrying their
projects, an atmosphere of excitement everywhere. I felt honored just
to be there and to observe my son participate.
After all the efforts that went into this event, now it was the time for
the award ceremony. Many thousands of people - participants, parents
and guests - were sitting in a stadium, watching. Now it was time for
our category, Mathematics. First the honorable mention winner was
called to the stage. Then - the 3rd place, 2nd place... and first place. It
was my sons name. Can you imagine how I felt? I think that I
practically took off and floated in the air. I remember saying It is a
good feeling. And people around me - congratulating me,
participating in the joy: I heard one man say; I bet it is!
I will never forget that day.
This is a good example of what we want for our children and for
ourselves. This wonderful feeling of accomplishment, satisfaction and
pride But how do we achieve this? How do we get our children to apply
themselves? How do we get our children to understand what actions
they need to take now for their future success?
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How can I motivate my child? This is a question that I get frequently

from parents all over the world.
Four key things contribute to our childs motivation:
1. Importance and Inspiration: Your child has to have an inspiring

goal in mind. One that your child feels is important for him to achieve.
2. Possibility: The child has to know and feel that it is possible for
him to achieve the goal. If the child has doubts that he can achieve
the goal, or thinks that it is impossible, there is little chance that he
will work towards the goal and apply himself.
3. Acknowledgment, Appreciation, and Reward: It is easier to

keep a child motivated when theres a tangible reward. Knowing that
achieving the goal will meet with a tangible form of acknowledgment,
appreciation and reward, will add this extra drive.
4. Persistence. The route towards any worthwhile goal includes

some minor setbacks and disappointments. The child needs to learn to
get up, brush himself off, and get right back on the horse.
When a child knows that a goal is important, feels that it is possible for
him to achieve it, and is offered an incentive to work towards, the
chances are good that he will be motivated to put in the effort needed
to achieve the goal. Add to it persistence, and the results are as good
as guaranteed.
Importance and Inspiration:
As parents, we always want our child to work towards a goal that

inspires him. Help your child see the possibilities. Help your child
dream big.
Dont wait until your child is in high school to start thinking about ways
to achieve that. Would you like your child to get a good education, to
succeed in school? Start early on. Encourage your child to do well in
school. Tell your child stories about students who succeeded in school
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and the achievements that came as a result of this success. Explain

what the advantages of getting a good education are. Why is it worth
it to make great efforts to get a good education? The key is to get your
child to see the opportunity for himself. If your child gets the idea that
it is important for you that he gets a good education and succeeds in
school, you have missed the mark. You want your child to understand
why it is important for him to do all these things.
I always told my children: when you get education, when you study,
you invest in yourself. In addition to the doors that will open to you as
a result of getting education, you become more knowledgeable, more
intelligent. You become wiser. YOU.
Make sure your child hangs out with friends who are successful in
school. When your child is young, it is easy to choose his friends. Later
your child will choose his friends on his own. In order to have some
control over this, do your best to get your child into a good school, and
in that good school, into the honors programs. Children have a
tendency to adjust themselves to their environment, and if your child
is in a good environment, meaning in a good program in school, where
his friends are all kids who value education, he will adjust to that.
Sometimes a healthy competition develops, which encourages the
children to put in more effort. When I went to school, the good
students, the students who are successful, were considered cool.
Now, in some schools, I have seen good students being called nerds.
The rough students, the ones that are into things outside of
academics, are considered cool. Be careful: a child who grows in this
environment, will not want to be a nerd. In this case, you will find
yourself fighting this attitude, and there are chances that you will lose.
Pay very close attention to the environment your child is in.
One tool that mothers have used throughout the ages is repetition. It
is not enough to have one conversation with your child, explaining the
value of applying himself. You have to put together a plan of attack.
Prepare interesting reading material and movies about some role
models. Provide biographies of people of great achievements.
Research theater performances about role models, and take your child
to watch them. Introduce successful people to your child. Do you have
accomplished, educated people among your friends? Ask them to meet
your child and talk about their success and how they achieved it. Have
conversations with your child about his future, his goals, what he
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wants to be when he grows up. Repeat the idea you are trying to
introduce to your child, in many different ways.
A word about girls: In today society, even here in the US, where we
consider ourselves advanced, it is especially important to encourage a
girl. If you happen to see around you women who are prominent
successful and accomplished, ask them to talk to your child. I have
recently attended a special event an African American womens
organization puts together every year, named Respect Yourself. I
have met some outstanding, beautiful accomplished women who gave
presentations at that event. One of the women was a neurosurgeon.
The other was a doctor, holding a high position at Kaiser Permanente.
There were lawyers, teachers, professionals who have decided to give
back of their time, to encourage youth to succeed. In everyday life, if
you find a person who has succeeded and holds a high position, ask
them to take a few minutes of their time, to meet with your daughter.
Make your daughter aware that she can be successful, and she can
choose any profession she wants, whether it is in medicine, in sports,
in law, in finance or in education.
Possibility:
How do we bring our child to believe in himself? We have already

discussed self confidence (Confidence, the Deciding Factor).
Affirmations are a very effective tool. Write down some affirmations
that you think will best encourage and inspire your child. For example:
you are very smart and talented. You learn very fast. You have an
excellent memory. You can do it. It has been shown that
affirmations are most effective when repeated three times. Choose one
affirmation for a day and repeat it at least three times during the day.
Can you get your partner to cooperate and do the same? The more
people you can get to repeat the affirmation, the better the
result. Have your child repeat the affirmation himself - at least three
times.
Can you imagine how your child will feel, if he hears from everyone
that day how smart and talented he is? Can you imagine the smile on
his face? Do you think that there is any chance in the world, that he
will not be encouraged?
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Acknowledgment, Appreciation, and Reward:
A close relative of the word motivate is encourage. What comes to

your mind when you think of the word encourage? The thing that
comes to my mind is praise. All of us, adults as well as children,
respond well to praise, and feel encouraged when we receive it. If you
want to encourage your child to succeed, praise him and celebrate
every action towards the goal, every small achievement on the way to
the goal. Most of us (including our kids) tend to be self-judgmental; in
many cases we are our own worst critics. We criticize ourselves, and
any small setback often seems like a serious failure. Your child will feel
encouraged if his efforts are appreciated and his achievements
acknowledged.
Praise on the way to achieving the goal is important. In addition,

making sure that the child knows the rewards for achieving the goals
will have a significant positive effect. Determining what the rewards
are depends on you. You are the only one who can determine what is
affordable, realistic for you, and very desirable for your child. The
reward has to be age appropriate. In his article: Incentive Plans for
Gifted, But Unmotivated Kids, Wayne Fujita has a few good
suggestions. (http://www.all-gifted-children.com/articles.htm )
Persistence:
Persistence is to a great degree a learned trait. Our children need to

learn persistence; they need to learn that if we suffer a set back, we
dont give up. Instead, we increase our efforts. Who can teach them
that, if not us?
An effective tool to teach persistence is storytelling. Storytelling can

take the form of a book, a movie, a discussion. There are many
inspiring books and movies available about people who persisted and
achieved against all odds. Keep your eyes open, and when you find an
inspiring story, share it with your child.
Holding discussions with your child is also very effective. When your
child suffers a temporary setback, it will help him if you can put it in
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perspective for him. Knowing that a setback is minor takes some

judgment. Good judgment is often a result of experience, and children
and young people need our help to develop good judgment. Explain to
your child that this is just a minor, temporary setback. Help your child
understand the lesson thats necessary to learn from this, and
concentrate on preparing for the upcoming success. Encourage your
child to concentrate on the goal, instead of any small setback on the
way.
Just like parenting, inspiring and motivating our children is a lifelong

job. If you start at an early age, put together a plan of attack, use
the tools of the trade and add a healthy amount of love, the results
will come. Satisfaction guaranteed!
Training Your Child for Success

I would like to talk about a subject that is appropriate for every age
group out there. Even we parents can benefit from this, we can
develop success skills together with our children.
Sometimes you see people (of all ages) that are successful at
everything they do. Whatever they touch, whatever they attempt,
success is theirs. Others, though also successful, have to struggle and
work much harder to achieve success, and yet others, even though
they are smart and hard workers, dont achieve success. What is it
that the always successful people have, that the others dont?
I often have conversations with children about their goals and

objectives, and often I hear young children say to me, I am not very
smart, or I dont think that I can achieve this. How did a young child
get to this opinion of himself, so early in life? A child that has low self-
esteem stands a good chance of failing. SELF CONFIDENCE! a can
do approach - thats what we want our children to develop, so that
they succeed in life.
Its a common saying, that whatever you think about yourself - is true.
If you think that you can do - you are right. If you think that you cant
- you are right! I like to say that a person is only worth what he thinks
he is worth. In other words, if you think that you can achieve success
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in a project, you will do your best, but if you dont think you can, you
will not even attempt it, and never find out if you would be successful
at it or not.
So how do we instill a can do mentality in our children? This starts

very early in life! Believe it or not, your baby, when trying to achieve
his first goals in life - turning over, smiling, sitting up, standing up,
making the first steps, saying the first words - is already getting
feedback from his environment, and especially from you. Throughout
our childs growing-up years, we provide feedback about who they are,
and what they are worth. We cant help it, we teach them how we feel
about these issues ourselves.
Most of us celebrate our babys first steps, we provide encouragement

and support. But after the first year or two, we need to remember to
go on and keep encouraging and supporting. Id like to shed some
light on this issue by giving an example. Ruth, who was a great
mother, a unique and talented person, did not get support in her home
as a child. When she was growing up, her parents provided the best
education to her brother, but did not bother to send Ruth to a good
school and to college, because she was a girl, and she was supposed
to get married and be supported by a husband. Ruth grew up feeling
inferior.
Like all parents, she could not help passing her attitude to her kids.
But hers was a losers attitude. I know that Ruth was not aware of
the affect of what she was doing on her children, but she always
compared her children to other kids, or other people, who always did
better. For example, Look at Michael, he is so talented and smart,
always gets the best grades. I wish I was as good a business person
as Paul, he always manages his business wisely, but we are not that
smart, and always make bad decisions and choices. In a very subtle
way, almost un-noticeably, she would react in a very surprised way,
when her children achieved excellence in school. Edith came home one
day, with a award for being the best reader in her class. Yes, Ruth
celebrated it, of course! She was very happy for Edith. But at the same
time, she acted somewhat surprised! You? How wonderful! and
Edith, as all smart children do, also heard the subtle undertones, the
unsaid words I would never expect it! Edith grew up with the feeling
that other people are better than her, and that she is inferior.
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If we want our children to be successful, we have to make sure we

give them a very clear message: You can do it. With everything we
do, we must expect them to succeed. Never give your child the feeling
that you doubt his ability, that you doubt that he will succeed. Listen
to the way you talk to your child, and catch every sentence that could
be interpreted as doubt. ASSUME success. If your child stumbled, and
did not achieve the maximum success in an assignment - offer
support. Dont criticize! Your child faces enough criticism in his
everyday life, from peers, teachers ... you want to offer support. Make
sure your child knows that you are on his side, and most important -
that you believe in him.
EXPECT SUCCESS! If you expect success, your child will learn to

expect success too. Many parents (and teachers) are concerned about
stressing a child out. So they dont encourage him to succeed, they
accept mediocrity. I dont suggest putting stress on a child. I suggest
encouraging a child to excel. Make clear to your child that its possible
to excel, and that he can succeed. Dont judge or criticize, just make it
clear you know your child can succeed. If needed, assist your child and
support him.
COME FROM A PLACE OF POWER. This point is very hard to teach:

come from a place of power, not from a victims place. Teach your
child to take responsibility for the results. Your child can achieve
success. The results depend on him. How do you teach that? Teaching
a child that he is the one who determines what happens in his life,
provides a feeling of control and power. Dont do what Ruth did: We
have such bad luck, every time we invest in the stock market - the
stock market crashes! This is a victims approach. If Ruth decides to
take the risk of investing in the stock market, do her research and
make her decisions, she needs to take responsibility and simply say: I
made a mistake, I can learn from it. Teach your child that its all right
to make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. Mistakes are simply
feedback for us to learn what works and what doesnt. If your baby
touched the stove and experienced the pain of burning his finger,
provide comfort, and simply say hot!. Your child will learn the lesson.
If your child comes home from school disappointed, because
something did not go his way, first provide support and comfort, then
help him draw the conclusion: what is he going to do differently the
next time?
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PERSISTENCE. Teach your child persistence. Encourage your child

not to give up. This is not easy, so the technique I suggest for this is
story telling. Story telling has a effect similar to hypnosis on children.
Find childrens books or stories about people who persisted, and
achieved, despite adversity. These stories are very uplifting and
motivating.
TECHNIQUES FOR SUCCESS:
1. Visualization. This is a technique that helps with motivation. It is

a known fact that successful athletes visualize themselves going
through their routine in a perfect way, before they actually perform in
a competition. Teach your child how to visualize his success. Children
have active and strong imaginations, and it is easy for them to
visualize. You can talk your child through a visualization. The best
time to do this is at the end of the day, when your child is ready to go
to bed. You can plan the next day, talk about the assignments, and
ask your child to tell you how it will feel to perform the assignments
with great success. This way you encourage your child to visualize his
success, and it will motivate and encourage him. Ask your child to
describe what he needs to do to succeed in detail; this will encourage
him to plan ahead, and visualize the steps he has to go through, in
order to achieve success. Get into the habit of doing that. You will help
your child tremendously.
2. Affirmations. This is a technique that is used often for adults, too.

It can be very helpful for your child. You can plan the affirmations and
write them down. Take a few minutes each day to sit and think what
affirmations you want to use that day. Please dont think that you
cannot apply this technique to babies. Babies understand so much
more than we know that you can definitely start using this technique
at an early age. What is your child working on? You are very smart,
and you are getting smarter every day is a good affirmation on any
day. It has shown that affirmations are more effective if said three
times. So you can make sure that you say each affirmation three
times. Say affirmations always in a positive way, in the present tense.
For example: You are very strong and resilient. When your child is
learning to ride a bike, or play a sport, you can say to him: You have
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a great coordination, and its getting better every day. A very well
known affirmation is Every day, and in every way, you are getting
better and better. Whatever your child is engaged with at the time,
you can put together an affirmation that is appropriate, and say it to
your child. If you can get the child to say it to himself, or to repeat it,
that is even better. Affirmations are a great tool to increase self-
esteem.
Help for Slow-learning Children
When we want to help slow-learning children meet their challenges,

we always have to start with evaluation. There are so many reasons
why a child may face a challenge with certain subjects, some of which
are often hidden to us, the adults.
A decisive reason that can cause a child to fall behind is a learning

disability. I will not discuss learning disabilities, since this is a subject
that belongs in the hands of a skilled expert.
Another reason that can cause a child to fall behind could be a slight
hearing or vision impairment. I recommend checking the childs
hearing and vision as soon as a problem becomes apparent.
Lets evaluate the reasons that could cause a child to appear to be a

slow learner. A child that has a dominant auditory memory may
show difficulties in spelling, if he is required to write the words several
times in order to remember them. This is a learning method that
works well for people who have a dominant visual memory, but it is
not effective at all for children who have a dominant auditory
memory.
A child that has a very strong, dominant visual memory might have
problems remembering tunes, music and songs. Methods can be used
that take advantage of the childs learning style, in order to help him
learn the material using his dominant style of learning. Teachers who
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receive training in this area will be able to utilize methods appropriate

for all styles of learning.
Some students have very active minds. They learn faster than other
kids, and are actually very gifted learners. These children often do not
get adequate stimulation for their minds in a standard classroom
environment. These children experience real suffering, trying to follow
the slow sequence of learning in the classroom. They lose their focus,
and go into their own world. They will appear to be slow learners,
and occasionally will also create a behavioral problem. This case is
hard to deal with if there is no special program for gifted children
available in the school. The teacher will have to find a way to keep this
child challenged and busy. In my sons classroom there was such a
student: he read an immense number of books at home, and had an
amazing amount of knowledge. When the teacher tried to teach in
class, he always tried to intervene with a related story. Of course,
that caused an interruption in the classroom, and the child was
diagnosed as having a behavioral problem and a learning disability.
When he was enrolled in a special class that employed accelerated
learning, the problem was solved.
Another common case is a child that was told that he was a slow
learner at some previous time. For example, in Mathematics. A child
had some challenge with a Math concept, and the teacher, a parent, or
a classmate, made a comment, ridiculed him or laughed at him, and
the child got the idea that he is slow in Math. When a child tries to
solve a problem, he has to believe that he can and will solve the
problem. A child that does not believe that he can solve the problem
may start the process of looking for a solution, but will stop before he
has found it, because he gives up. In this case, dealing with the
problem takes encouragement and lots of praise. Cooperation between
the teacher and the parents will help accelerate the solution. A good
example is a young college student I met, whose teacher in second
grade told her that she was not good in math. She took a Logic
class, and achieved the best grade on the final test. She said to me
later: The teacher told me that I am so good at Logic, I am probably
very good at Math! This student succeeded in Logic, because she had
no idea that Logic is related to math!
Children are naturally very fast learners, but differ in learning styles,
the ability to focus, self-confidence and personality. The school
environment of today does not accommodate all learning styles and all
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personalities. Learning in a big group sometimes creates an

environment that supports one child, but neglects another to some
degree. If there is no learning disability or physical problem, then
taking the time to find out what the reason is and how to deal with it
as early as possible, is a crucial thing to do to stop the child from
falling behind. An alert teacher or a diligent parent can make a big
difference in the childs future.
How to Help Your Child Cope with

World News
In July, 2005, we were informed of the savage terrorist bombings in
London. Everyone was shocked, and many of us discussed the days
events with family and friends. What we often dont realize is - our
young ones also listen and hear our discussions.
We all want to protect our children, and shield them from anxiety. As a
result, our natural tendency is to avoid discussing the events with our
children. Since our children live amongst us, hear our conversations,
the television reports and the radio with us, they are aware of what is
happening, but might not have the background information, the
judgment and experience, to know how to cope with the world news.
They might be affected in ways we dont know about or dont expect.
The news might frighten them, depress them, or cause feelings of
sadness and grief.
We need to keep our children informed about what is happening in the

world. If we want to have exceptionally intelligent children, it is not
enough to teach them only reading, sciences and history. We need to
educate them, so that they are connected and informed with what is
happening all around us, what is happening in the world.
Since you are the parent, and you know your child best, you have to
judge what amount of information is appropriate for your child, and in
what detail. The amount of information you share with your child will
differ according to his age and may vary from one child to another.
Here are some pointers of how to help your child cope with the
situation, understand the news, and even to take the opportunity to
teach them some history, values and general knowledge.
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Inform yourself about the situation first. Make sure you have the
knowledge needed. For example, in the case of London, get hold of as
much information about London as you need - geography, history, the
political situation. Adapt the information to the level appropriate for
your child. If its a conflict between two groups of people or two
nations, inform yourself very well about the history of the conflict, the
history of all the nations involved. In the case of a bombing, for
example, prepare a map that will provide for your child an
understanding of how far London is from where you live. After you
have the background information and the facts, provide the
information that is appropriate to your child in an organized and easy-
to-understand way.
Be honest, dont conceal facts, tell the truth. Our children are
very smart, and they know when they are lied to. This might increase
their anxiety, or shake their confidence in you.
Think ahead of time what values and moral principles you would
like to instill in your child, as a result of this event. You can teach
ideas of war and peace, value of life, tolerance, freedom. Discuss the
event with your child, and use this to explain your values.
In order to stimulate a good discussion, ask your children what

they have heard and what they know about the news. This will give
you the opportunity to correct any misconceptions or provide
additional information that is needed in order to understand the
situation. Ask open-ended questions, like what do you think about...
or what do you think should be done about it.... Let your children
express their opinions and feelings and let them think of possible
solutions.
If a conflict is involved, present your child with the facts about

all its sides. Give your child a good and fair understanding of the
conflict and the issues involved.
Inform your child about any actions that are being taken to
remedy the situation. Tell him what safety measures are being taken
here to prevent similar attacks from occurring here in our
environment, what is being done to protect us. Include any
information that will make your kids feel more secure.
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Take some control over media exposure. We all value the

freedom of speech, but we dont find it necessary to expose our
children to all of it. Make sure your child is not exposed to very
detailed and frightening images that might cause unnecessary
anxiety.
Take a good look at yourself. Do you have anxieties that might

come through in this discussion? As mentioned before, children are
very smart, and they pick up on our anxieties and feelings. Make sure
you communicate with your child sincerely and logically.
If you do all these things, your child will be informed, hell gain
knowledge from world events, and feel assured that he gets all the
information needed. Your child will have the opportunity to voice his
opinions and express his fears and concerns, and the bond between
you and your child will be stronger than ever.
May we all have more good and happy events to share with our
children than stressful and sad news!
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

- a Useful Tool
It all begins with values. Have you ever written down what values you
would like to instill in your child? This is a very important thing to do!
I am sure that you have an idea of what your values are, but do you
know exactly which values are important enough to you to pass on to
your child? Whether you are aware of it or not, you affect your childs
values. If you actually take the time to sit down and think about it,
discuss it with your life partner, write it down, you will be much more
aware of what values you instill in your child.
Values determine how your childs life will unfold! Make sure you talk
with your child about the things that are important to him. If possible,
have your child write down his main values. What is important to
you? is the question to ask. Have him think about his values in terms
of what skills he would like to acquire, what achievements he would
like to have, and the relationships he wants (yes, children of all ages
have relationships).
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Discussing these with your child will strengthen the bond you have
with your child and will also help him set goals and reach them. Many
parents take very good care of their children and make sure to provide
all their needs, but dont discuss these important subjects with them.
Limiting beliefs develop throughout our lives. Some of our most

significant limiting beliefs are set in early childhood - sometimes even
as early as age 3 or 4. How does it happen? A traumatic event
happens in your childs life. As a result, the child makes a decision that
creates a limiting belief. It could be something that happened at home,
it could be something that happened with friends. A child gave a
wrong answer at school, and the classmates laughed at him. The child
is embarrassed, and decides: I am never going to talk in front of a
crowd again. The decision behind it is: I am not good enough. A
decision like this can affect your childs life for many years to come!
At a seminar I attended, participants had the opportunity to find their

limiting beliefs and state them in front of the audience. I was surprised
to find out how many of the participants had the belief that they are
not good enough.
You cant prevent this normal, natural process from happening to your
child. Your child is learning about the world and his environment, and
this process is just a healthy part of it. We are all built this way, to
protect ourselves and survive. But you can talk with your child and
discuss limiting beliefs. You can look for them yourself, or you can ask
your child to observe and detect his own limiting beliefs. A good action
to take when you discover a limiting belief is to create an affirmation
that eliminates the belief. Repeat it to your child or have your child
repeat the affirmation for a few days.
Self talk is one of the things that affect our lives and determines our
results. Teach your child to be aware of his self talk, to gain control of
his self talk. Teach him to empower himself, and to believe in himself.
Many of us can hear our parents talk in our mind, even though our
parents are long gone. If we had a critical parent, we can hear them
criticizing us in our minds ear. Instead of criticizing, we can empower
and encourage our children, so that they will hear our encouragement
and empowerment in their minds ears. This is the way to help them
develop an empowering self talk.
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A very widely used tool in NLP is modeling (thats to say, role

modeling). Find a person that has already achieved and succeeded in
the same area that you would like to succeed in. Study that person:
study the skills he has, the qualities he has, the reason for his success.
Then acquire these skills, the qualities that contributed to his success.
Ask yourself what kind of a person would achieve the goal I have? How
can I become as accomplished as this person?
Use this tool to help your child develop. Discuss your childs goals.
Help him find a role model who has already succeeded. (Make sure it
is a person you would approve of). Help him to study this person, to
research the skills he needs to acquire. Help your child find the
training he needs. Aid in this process.
Persistence - all of us adults know how important persistence is for

our success. Children are not naturally aware of it. Often children
simply give up if they dont get enough encouragement, or if they
encounter obstacles. My children always expected that success would
come very easily. They would set high goals, but with the first obstacle
simply gave up. Talk with your child about the importance of
persistence. Obstacles are to be expected if a high goal is set. Teach
him that it is OK to fail. Failure is just an opportunity to learn a lesson.
As an example, explain to your child that an airplane never flies a
perfect course. The navigator monitors the progress, and makes a
series of corrections to the course, in order to bring the plane to its
destination. In this example, failure is just a correction in the course of
flight. Obstacles should not stop him from achieving his goals.
Positive motivation: When you ask your child: why is this important
to you?; when you discuss his goals, and examine the answers,
watch for negative answers, like because I dont want to.... For
example: I want money because I dont want to be poor or I want
to have a lot of friends because I dont want to be lonely. Negative
reasons for a goal cause unsatisfactory results. As soon as the
negative condition has been achieved, the child loses his motivation,
and stops trying. When you work with your child on goal setting, make
sure the goal is stated in a concise and clear way, and that it is
realistic. Ask your child when will you know that your goal is
achieved? Help him develop a scene that he can visualize, that will
motivate him. For example, for a high school student who sets as his
goal being accepted at the college of his dreams, that scene could be
him holding the acceptance letter in his hands. Visualizing this scene
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will motivate him to put in the effort needed to meet the acceptance
criteria for that specific college. This will help him create consistency in
his effort.
NLP can be used for children of all ages. You can benefit from it too.
Developing Concentration and Focus
Some people can concentrate on an assignment to the exclusion of all

distractions around them. My husband, who is an avid reader, can sit
at a public place and read, no matter how much noise is going on
around him. Some people can play at a chess tournament, and focus
on their game, no matter how many people are standing around them,
watching the game. Others, however, cannot concentrate on their
reading in a coffee house, because too much is going on around
them, and some peoples chess game is affected by the noise around
them or the people watching the game, and they make mistakes and
blunders.
Being able to focus is a very beneficial skill. Schoolchildren have to be

able to take a test, even if their classmates are not keeping quiet.
They have to be able to focus on their homework, even if some other
kids are playing outside, or a sibling is listening to the radio.
But beyond these practical reasons, a persons ability to focus and

concentrate affects their level of performance. In order to solve a
problem, you have to be able to focus, and if you cant concentrate,
you cant find a solution. The ability to concentrate is important to
anything we want to accomplish. When a person increases their
concentration skills, they see a big improvement in everything they do.
There is no doubt, then, that anybody can benefit from the
strengthening of their ability to concentrate and focus.
Children in general have shorter attention spans than adults. It is

impossible to expect a child to sit and concentrate for a long time,
because it is natural for children to move around and be active. In my
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opinion, part of the reason is that childrens minds work extremely

fast, and they have the need to learn new material constantly. When
they feel that they have learned all they can from one activity, they
will move to the next one, looking for more knowledge.
Often you can observe a very young child playing with a toy. The child
will be all into it, fully focused on the toy. For how long? That varies,
depending on many factors. But as long as they are playing, they are
fully focused. Watch children when they are listening to a story; they
are listening intently and are all captured by the story.
There are some exercises, or games, that you can play with your child
that will increase his ability to concentrate and focus. You can play the
games suggested here, or you can invent your own games around
these exercises, depending on your individual children, their ages and
their interests. Here are some suggestions:
1. Have your child close his eyes, and imagine a triangle. Then have
him draw the triangle, with his eyes closed, on a piece of paper,
slowly, and accurately. Then have him do it again, and see if there is
any improvement in the triangle he has drawn. The slower he does it,
the better. It is practically impossible to perform this task without
concentrating and focusing on it, and the slower the task is performed,
the longer the intense focus. If you want, you can have a competition,
you can do it with your child, and the one who finishes later, or the
one who has a better triangle, is the winner. You can organize a group
of kids to compete with each other. (When your child is drawing
perfect triangles, you can advance to more complicated figures, a
square, a star ... whatever figure you can think of.)
2. This is a very interesting game, one that will entertain, surprise

and benefit all participants. Have your child hold his arm out and close
his eyes. Tell your child to start feeling an intense heat on the palm of
his hand, as if he is holding a hot potato. Focus on it for a few
minutes, when it starts to feel uncomfortable (too hot), have him stop
and shake his hand.
3. Have your child practice reading in different environments. Take

him to the library, have him read there, take him to a fast food
restaurant, and have him read there. If your child doesnt read yet -
read a story to him. That also takes concentration! (I dont
recommend reading in the car: some people get motion sickness when
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they read in the car.) Any environment that you can think of is a good
place to practice concentration. Russian chess players practice playing
in noisy places. They play in the park, in coffee houses, wherever they
can!
4. When you are visiting the park, or walking on the beach, have your
child listen to the sounds of nature and life, the sound of the waves, or
the sound of the birds and other animals in the park. Have him
practice listening to the sounds intently for the longest time possible,
and try to increase from there. If you have a recording of nature
sounds (there are many CDs that have the sound of water and other
sounds of nature), your child can do that at home. You can play the
quiet game, yourself and the child (or a group of children) listening
to the sounds of nature CD. The last person still sitting is the
winner.
5. The finger game. Have your child hold his hand out, and bend each
finger very slowly, focusing only on that finger. When all fingers are
bent, start straightening the fingers one at a time, very slowly. You
can play this game with a toddler or a baby, too!
6. The breathing game. Have your child breath in very slowly,

counting to ten, paying attention only to his breathing. Then have him
exhale as slowly as he can.
7. Have a competition, called who can gaze at an object the

longest? . You can put an object at the center of the room, and have
your child and yourself, or a group of children, gaze at the object. The
person who can stay with this assignment the longest without taking
their eyes off the subject is the winner.
If you participate in these games with your child, you will notice an
improvement in your ability to concentrate, too!
Take some time to do these activities with your child, and observe the
results!
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Developing Leadership Qualities
How often have you heard that leaders are born, not made? Do you
think this is true? How many times have you read a biography of a
great leader, and discovered that as a child, he had been quiet,
reserved and rather shy? Are those the natural qualities of a leader?
Of course not! These people developed their leadership qualities later
in life.
Would you like your child to be a leader?
What are the qualities of a leader? Here are some of the qualities
required; here are also the ways which you can use to encourage the
development of these qualities in your child.
Integrity - remember to be a good example, a role model for

your child. Parents teach by example, and integrity is a quality
kids learn from their parents. Talk with your child about
integrity. One tool that is very helpful is story telling. Look for
books that tell about the value of integrity. I found an e-book
that has several stories that promote values in kids; its at
Inspirational Kids Stories. You can also make up your own
stories that tell about the value of integrity.
Courage - always praise courage. When your child shows
courage, notice it and praise it. Praise courage wherever you see
an expression of it. Story telling is also very effective in this
case.
Creative, independent thinking. In order to develop this
quality, it is very helpful to ask questions. When you talk with
your child about any subject at all, always ask open-ended
questions, ones that encourage creative thinking. Use the One
Step Farther principle (see below). After you have worked out
all the obvious answers, ask one more question, to come up with
a deeper, more creative idea. Questions like why, what would
happen if..., how do you think did it felt..., encourage your
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child to think creatively. Talk to your child, encourage

independent thinking.
Confidence - this is one of the most important qualities
required for success in general. To develop confidence in your
child, avoid criticizing your child, praise him sincerely and often,
develop the habit to talk about his strengths and achievements
with him every day. Remember to make it a point to bring up at
least one good quality of your child every day. If you adopt it as
a routine, over time it will do wonders for your child. It takes
only a few minutes to mention an achievement or a strength -
any good quality. Encourage your child, repeat the phrase you
can do it often.
A leader takes responsibility. When something goes wrong,
sometimes it makes us feel better if we can blame something
else or someone else. A leader takes responsibility. Make sure
your child knows that he is the boss in his life. His success is
his responsibility. We are not victims of our environment; we
have control over our life. Teach your child to come from a
place of power. When your child blames someone else or
something else for a mishap, or comes up with excuses, you
have an opportunity to encourage your child to assume
responsibility. Make sure that your child knows that it is OK to
make mistakes. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn. You can
help your child draw conclusions, without making him wrong,
by asking: what did you learn from this?, what do you think
went wrong?, why do you think this happened?, how could
you avoid this? and again what do you think would happen
if...?. Your child should understand that he has no control over
other people, and is not expected to have control over other
peoples actions, but he has full control over his own reaction.
This will give your child the feeling of power, as opposed to
being a victim.
The conversations that you hold with your child have a profound effect
on his future. Make sure you take the time to talk with him every day,
to be involved with what is happening in your childs life, to support,
encourage and inspire. By doing that, you are being a leader, and you
are developing your childs leadership skills.
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One Step Farther
When is a person brilliant? When does a person show his genius?

When he goes beyond the usual, beyond the obvious. When he goes
one step farther in his thinking, understanding and creativity. For
example, when you play chess, you plan ahead. You study the moves
that are available to you, and then the moves your opponent can
make. You analyze the possibilities a few plays deep. My sons chess
teacher once said: Usual players plan 2 to 3 moves ahead. A
grandmaster can plan 6 to 7 moves deep, and that makes
grandmasters - grandmasters. The teacher suggested to my son that
he look at the chessboard, analyze the moves ahead, and then - put a
conscious effort into analyzing one more move. Put conscious effort
into going one step farther.
When applied to all areas of life - this habit alone can differentiate
between the everyday smart person, and an unusually creative,
brilliant genius.
How can we teach our children this exceptional practice - as early as

possible? This truly takes only a few minutes at a time! Whenever you
do an activity with your child, whenever you have a conversation with
your child, whatever your childs age is, encourage him to go one step
farther in his thinking and in his playing or working.
For example, a toddler comes to you and tells you about an experience
that he had, or an observation. Ask questions that lead him to thinking
and analyzing beyond the obvious. When your child builds with blocks,
encourage him to go one step farther by asking questions. What is
this? What can you use it for? What else? How can you improve it? Can
you make it bigger? Can you make it smaller? Is it heavy? Is it light?
Is it strong? How can you make it stronger?
When you play a board game with your child, you can ask questions
like: Why did you decide on this move? What would happen if you
were to make a different move instead? What would happen if I would
make a different move? What was your strategy?
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When you have a conversation with your child, always encourage him
to think one step farther by asking questions. Try to widen his
horizons. Try to get him to think creatively. Ask about possible
solutions - and keep asking.
A very well-known game that encourages creativity is taking a very

ordinary, mundane household object (the classic example is a paper
clip, but you can do it with any object you choose) and try to come up
with all the things you can use it for. Everybody first comes up with
the obvious: clip papers together, hold papers in place ... but after a
while the creativity starts to flow, and people come up with amazing
and fantastic uses for a paper clip. This is a great game to play with
your child, to encourage creativity.
I recommend using this approach to everything that you do with your

child: ask open questions that encourage thinking and problem
solving, and then keep asking. When your child is done with the
obvious, keep asking, so that your child will go one step farther, and
start thinking creatively beyond the obvious.
You can do it with a very young child, during any activity. You can do
it with a school-aged child too. Do you help your child with homework?
Encourage him to go one step farther. Ask your child about the topic
he is studying, and get beyond the obvious. When your child writes a
book report, or a research report of any kind, when he is done with his
work encourage him to go one step farther, by finding some
additional information about the topic that provides a different point of
view, or provides some additional information.
One technique that I used when my son was in elementary school was
asking why questions. For example, when he had to write a report,
and he read to me what he had written, I asked why, and used this
to stimulate his thinking deeper into the subject. When he was done
with the report, I always said - lets go one step farther and see if
we can come up with additional information, explain one more fact,
get to one more conclusion; what would make this paper brilliant
instead of just good?
When he wrote an essay, after I read it I always encouraged him to go

one step farther, and analyze, compare or ask a question that he
hadnt asked himself yet.
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By doing this, we are achieving more than one goal. The first goal is to
increase our childs learning, to deepen his understanding. By doing
this, we encourage our child to grow. But we also get them into the
habit of going one step farther constantly, with every project that
they take on. This will prove to be more and more valuable as they go
through life. It will teach them to be more thoughtful towards other
people, as they deepen their understanding of their fellow man. It will
teach them to go one step farther and discover the solution that was
not yet discovered. It will teach them to go one step farther and
think about a topic in a completely fresh approach nobody has ever
thought about in this way before. It will make it possible for them to
be a true genius, one who comes up with ideas that may change the
face of our world.
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Children and Money

Money is a very complicated issue. Many people have developed
various attitudes towards money, as a result of what money
represents to them. Some people see money as the root of all evil.
Others see money as a symbol of power. Yet others feel that money is
just a form of energy, and there is no need to see it as a symbol at all.
Whatever people's attitudes towards money, they have probably
inherited theirs from their parents. Willingly or unwillingly, we pass our
ideas and attitudes about money to our children.
Our attitude towards money, and the way we teach our children to
deal with money, is sometimes dependent upon our culture. For
example here, in the USA, we use the expression "how much is he
worth?", when we want to ask: "How much money does he have?"
Language is indicative of culture, and this expression shows how
important money is in the American culture. In other cultures, a
person is measured by the amount of education he has received,
rather than the amount of money he has accumulated.
In certain cultures parents see it as their responsibility to provide for

their children all their needs, pay for their education, and when their
offspring gets married, they provide a home and a household for them.
In other cultures the children are required to provide for themselves
after a certain age. Yet in different cultures, the children have to
participate in the "bread winning" for the family, and are considered a
"helping hand".
What is the right approach? What should we teach our children about
money, in order to prepare them for success? How much should we
provide for them, and up to what age?
The idea that money is scarce, that it is a subject of struggle, could be

damaging to your child's financial future. On the other hand, the
approach that "children don't need to concern themselves with
money", is not a good one either. When I was growing up, my parents
said to me: "your job is to get your education, we will take care of the
money issues. Children don't need to bother with money". This
approach is not helpful either, because it ignores the topic altogether,
and does not teach the children how to deal with money responsibly.
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To instill a healthy, straight forward, realistic approach to money, start

teaching your child about money as early as possible. Build a confident
feeling towards money, an informed one. It is an opportunity to teach
your child math, and get a huge amount of information about the
business world and the world around them.
With a preschooler, just start showing the different kinds of currency,

coins and bills. Show your toddler how to count the pennies, (or the
smallest currency in your country). Start with a pile of 10 pennies,
show how they add up and how to subtract. For example, if you have a
pile of 10 pennies, and you buy a pencil that costs 5 pennies (it's just
an example, I know that a pencil is not that cheap any more), you
have only 5 pennies left. Invent some games around that. Prepare
some crayons for your child to "buy" from you. You can also "buy"
some back from your child, to show how the "flow" of money
goes. The idea to demonstrate is that the money is the means to pay
for the goods. At some point you can show your child how to
substitute a dime for 10 pennies, and explain about currency.
I recommend purchasing some play money. You can play "grocery

store", or "bank". Let the child pay for an item at the grocery store, or
help him put money in the parking meter.
Explain about the parents' work. If possible, let the child visit at the
parents' workplace, and explain how the parent earns the money. It's
not too early to explain about interest. Teach how to save, by putting
savings in a jar, pay interest, and let children hold the interest amount
in their hands, to demonstrate the amount and value of the interest. If
you read a newspaper article related to money, tell your child about it,
after you have adapted it to your child's level of understanding.
Remember - your child learns indirectly by watching you: exhibit
responsible money habits and demonstrate them to your child. When
watching television, you can let your child listen to the financial news
and the stock market.
For somewhat older children: Some leading child psychologists

recommend giving your child an allowance. The decision to give your
child an allowance or not is a family decision. The amount of the
allowance depends on their age and your family budget. What will be
paid for by the allowance money is also a family decision. Some
psychologists recommend that the allowance should not buy your child
their basic needs. Food, basic clothing, school supplies, transportation,
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should be provided outside of the allowance. The allowance is to be

used for extra projects. The child should be using his allowance for
things beyond the basics.
Teach your child to divide his allowance into 3 buckets:
1. Immediate purchases.
2. Savings for the future
3. Charity, giving back to the community.
It is a good idea to teach your child about earning money. But here
comes the dilemma: Do you pay your child for doing chores around
the house? When my children were growing up, I felt that I shouldn't
pay them for their help, since I also don't ask them to pay me, for my
"services" to them. I wanted my children to feel that they have to
contribute to the household, without being paid for it.
This dilemma warrants a family discussion. Make very clear to them,

what is expected from them, what their usual duties are, and what
activities they can be paid for. You can brainstorm together, but in the
end, it is recommended to have a clear understanding on the matter.
Teach your child to budget. Talk about the future needs and desires.
Since the allowance is given weekly, sit with your child immediately
after he gets his allowance, and show how to put together a budget.
Teach your child how to project future expenses, and plan ahead of
time. Create a register, where your child enters the "deposits" and
"withdrawals", to follow the flow of money. You can also create a
"bank", and a check book, to show how to keep a checking account,
and how to balance it.
A good idea is to open a savings account at a financial institution that

accommodates children. There are savings accounts designed
especially for children. This is an excellent opportunity to teach your
child about savings, to demonstrate interest and teach the
mathematical skills necessary to understand and calculate interest.
Show how to deal with sales receipts and bills for expenses. Explain
about taxes. Compare prices while shopping for something they want.
If your child is working on a project for school, for example a science
project, help your child establish a project budget. The games
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Monopoly and Pay Day demonstrate some basic financial concepts.

Find some books and magazines for young consumers at the local
library. (For example Zillions from the Consumers' Union).
When you think that your child is ready, let your child understand the
family budget. How much money you have available to you, and how
much their needs cost. This helps your child develop a healthy
understanding of the value of money in the real world. It is beneficial
for your child to know how long you have to work in order to pay for
everyday expenses.
When Tammy was in middle school, she came home one day with a
ton of questions. She wanted to know how much money we spend on
her every week. They have discussed it in class, and the children got
an assignment to find out the family budget and how much is spent on
them. It is then when I realized how important it is to discuss these
topics with the children. Tammy had no idea, and when she went back
to school and compared the amount of money spent on her with her
peers, she was amazed! She came home and told me that she realizes
how much of an effort we put into her education and her special
activities. She said, I had no idea! Thanks you very much!
If you can, match the amount your child saves, in order to encourage
savings.
A great activity for children of all ages is the development of a

business. Children learn a great deal from business training. How to
develop a business, how to keep it running, how to manage it, tax
issues. Here is a site that teaches kids about business.
http://www.disney.go.com/hotshot/hsb.html .
The next step is to teach investment.
Explain the different kinds of investments. Safe investments and

speculative investments. Explain about the stock market. It is a great
idea to let your child paper trade. The following web sites include
some good information for beginners about the stock market and
different methods of investing. They also allow you to paper trade.
http://www.gptc.com/paper_trading_adgo.htm
http://www.worldlinkfutures.com/paper.htm
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It is very important to introduce the concept of a loan, show how the

interest is calculated, and show in which cases a loan is a good idea,
and how a loan can "balloon" into big debt. Give your child a play
credit card, show the responsible use of a credit card, and how a debit
card works. Give your child the opportunity to "abuse" the play credit
card, and show him how to solve this situation. He will remember this
experience and learn from it.
With teenagers, some new issues come up: should your child have a
job, to help support himself and earn some money for his special
"wants"? Many parents feel that a child should learn how to earn
money and work for his living. Others feel that a child should
concentrate on his education. Succeeding in high school is so
important for your child's future, and it takes hard work, and all his
time. If you feel this way, let your child work in the summer.
When my children were at this age, they have used their talents to
entertain. My daughter Tammy used to entertain children at birthday
parties with her puppets, telling a story she wrote for this purpose.
She got paid handsomely for her work. My son, Eric, used to entertain
children and adults with his juggling and circus arts. He preferred to
volunteer at community events.
Tutoring is a wonderful activity children can take on. They can earn
some money doing that, or volunteer - depending on the needs and
circumstances. Tutoring increases self confidence, and teaches
children a valuable lesson. Children can tutor younger students in the
subject they feel most comfortable with. If your child is interested in
tutoring, have him go to the school's office and offer his services.
Middle school students and high school students can go to elementary
schools and offer their tutoring services there.
A very beneficial subject to teach your child is entrepreneurship. This

is not an easy subject to teach, and it is not appropriate for every
child. Talk to your child, and find out if your child is interested. The
age is not significant, young children may be interested in this subject.
If your child is not interested in the present time, wait and check again
next year.
If you are interested in this subject, and if you are interested in

organizing an activity of this nature, you will have to make your intent
known, in order to find other participants. One idea is to send around a
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flyer to your child's school mates and their parents, and possibly find
other parents who are interested in helping, and other students who
are interested in participating. If you can find other parents to help,
arrange for a meeting, to discuss each members strengths and areas
of expertise. Then you can arrange for a brainstorming session for the
children. Provide a guiding hand, but let the children come up with the
ideas, and implement them. This can be a very exciting project from
which the children will learn important lessons and gain valuable
experiences.
Another important issue for older teens is the responsible ownership of

a car. Decide at what age you want your child to start driving (after
the legal age, of course), if you are going to provide a car or let your
child earn the money (and save) for a car. Explain auto insurance to
your child. Discuss ways to deal with risk of potential financial loss (i.e.
savings, insurance, determining risk ahead of time). Compute miles
per gallon and the expenses for gas.
Remember, your child is learning. Unlike you, this is the first time they
are exposed to this subject. Provide loving encouragement, and allow
for mistakes. Instill confidence, competence and make sure your child
is prepared and ready when he has to "stand on his own feet".
Money and finances are an important issue. Many parents feel

uncomfortable with this issue, and as a result they avoid the issue
altogether. Don't count on your child's school to teach him, make sure
your child gets his money education for the best teacher out there -
you!
IQ Testing and Identification of the

Gifted Child
Why should I test my child? I hear this question from many parents.
They also voice their concern that if their child is identified as gifted,
he may become arrogant, or feel different, abnormal. Let me set your
mind at easy: I have found that testing your child is very beneficial. If
your child is identified as gifted, it will open many doors for you. It
makes many special programs accessible. Many school districts have
special programs available for the gifted. There are many private
groups that offer special programs for the gifted and talented, and
some universities and colleges have special programs for gifted
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students. These special programs offer interesting classes and

seminars for your child and interesting enrichment activities, which
can benefit your child for many years to come.
Let me set your mind at ease: if your child is not identified as gifted
dont give up! Some kids are not great at taking tests, others simply
have a type of gift that isnt easily detected by the current IQ tests.
There are different types of IQ tests, some kids do better on one type,
and so good on the others. You have several options: retest, using a
different test, wait a little and retest at a later time, or if your child is
at school, ask for a recommendation from the teacher. Many programs
for gifted youth will accept a teachers recommendation in admissions.
What is an IQ ?
An Intelligence Quotient indicates a person's mental abilities relative to

others of approximately the same age. Everyone has hundreds of
specific mental abilities--some can be measured accurately and are
reliable predictors of academic and financial success.
How to interpret the result of an IQ test?
Intelligence Interval Cognitive Designation

85 - 114 Average
115 - 124 Above average
125 - 134 Gifted
135 - 144 Highly gifted
145 - 154 Genius
155 - 164 Genius
165 - 179 High genius
180 - 200 Highest genius
>200 "Unmeasurable" genius
It has been shown that the earlier you test your child, the higher the
IQ result will be. So it is advisable to test your child as early as
possible. There are many methods and tests available, with special
ones for the very young. If your child is under school age, it is
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advisable to find a child psychologist who specializes in testing of very

young children. In many locales you can find a psychologist that works
with young children, and usually the fee is very reasonable. It is a very
wise investment, since you can use this one test result for many
programs, for many years. Often if your child is accepted by one
program for the gifted and talented, he will be automatically accepted
to continuing programs. An experienced psychologist will make sure
that your child is comfortable during the test, and that it is a pleasant
and interesting experience for him. Some psychologists will come to
your home to perform the testing, to ensure that your young child
feels comfortable during the test.
Many programs have specific guidelines as to which tests they accept

and which they dont. If you consider having your child tested for a
specific program, it is wise to find out what the requirements are -
before testing. If you want to test your child, but you dont have a
specific program in mind, ask the psychologist what specific test he
recommends for your childs age and personality.
Many public programs that are available also offer testing services. For
example, the Educational Program for Gifted Youth (EPGY), a
wonderful program that is offered through Stanford University, offers
testing, but also accepts a variety of tests that are offered through
school districts and by private schools.
As mentioned before, many programs that are offered by schools will

accept a teachers recommendation. Let your childs teacher know that
you are interested in the programs they have available for the gifted.
They may be happy to provide a letter of recommendation and an
assessment. In addition, they will provide you with information on
what is available. Some programs that are offered for the gifted and
talented are not advertised publicly, and you may never find out about
them unless you specifically ask about them. Remember, even if you
dont consider your child to be gifted, he may score well on an IQ test;
or maybe the teacher will be glad to recommend him. Every child can
benefit from the special programs that are available, whether they are
identified as gifted or not.
As I noted, a good place to start is EPGY, the Stanford University

program. Programs in mathematics, physics, English, music and
computer science are offered to schools, groups and individuals over
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the Internet. Interesting programs are added continually. The web site
to check is:
http://epgy.stanford.edu
Another good place to check is the Northwestern University Center for

Talent Development. This is a wonderful program for children; it helps
with the identification of the gifted and provides courses, classes and
enrichment programs. Special camps and programs are offered in the
summer. Go to the Resources page in my web site: http://www.all-
gifted-children.com/, and click on the link thats available there.
When Eric was in Elementary School, I served as the Membership

Chair on the board of Lyceum of Santa Clara, which is an organization
that provides seminars for gifted children, and I have mentioned it
several times in this book. This organization started with a small group
of parents that wanted to provide some enrichment programs for their
kids. Each parent agreed to present seminars about their areas of
expertise, or to find someone to present a seminar for the interested
children. The organization grew into a wonderful, huge organization
that offers hundreds of interesting seminars every year. Since Lyceum
is very picky about whom they accept, there are very specific
guidelines about what tests are accepted and what results qualify a
child for participation. So if there arent many special programs offered
in your neck of the woods, dont discount the possibility of getting
together with similar minded parents and organizing a group like
Lyceum.
Here is a short introduction to IQ testing:
IQ is short for intelligence quotient. It is defined as mental age

divided by actual age. Very obviously mental age can be a wholly
subjectively determined thing, but the concept of IQ does provide
useful broad guidelines.
The first individual to develop an IQ test was a French researcher

named Alfred Binet. His test (first published in 1905) could be used to
predict how well children would do in school. The test was later
translated into English by members of Stanford University. Thus, the
Stanford-Binet test was born. The American David Weschler disagreed
with Binets emphasis on verbal intelligence. As a result, he developed
the Weschler IQ test (in the 1930s). It placed heavy emphasis on the
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perceptual component (puzzles, sequences) of intelligence. The test

was also timed: the faster the puzzles were completed correctly, the
higher the score. The test was often used to assess children with
learning disabilities. The Weschler test was not designed to determine
scores above about 130. As a result, it has limited use in assessing the
gifted.
Intelligence Tests are periodically revised. One reason for their revision
is to account for the general populations increase in intelligence. It is
estimated that the average IQ increases 4 to 6 points every ten years.
This year, the new Stanford-Binet V was released. The new test has a
ceiling of 160 (Stanford-Binet IV 164), no speed requirement, less
emphasis on math, and includes a section on perceptual reasoning
(i.e. puzzles).
Here is an excerpt from the EPGY requirements page. (To find

accurate information, go to EPGYs web site. This is intended to
give you an example of a requirements page, and an idea of the
wealth of different tests that are available and accepted by
different institutions):
Mathematics, Physics, Computer Science, Music

Students age 6 or younger. If available, a psychologists
evaluation from any of the following tests: Stanford-Binet, WISC,
WPPSI-R, or Woodcock-Johnson.
Students age 7-8. The EPGY Mathematical Aptitude Test; if
available, a score report or psychologists evaluation from any of
the following tests: CAT-5, CTBS/4, CTP-III, ERB, ITBS, MAT-7,
OLSAT, PLUS, SAT-8, SAT-9, WISC, SCAT, or Woodcock-
Johnson.
Students age 9-12. The EPGY Mathematical Aptitude Test; if
available, a score report or psychologists evaluation from any of
the following tests: CAT-5, CTBS/4, CTP-III, ERB, ITBS, MAT-7,
OLSAT, PLUS, SAT-8, SAT-9, WISC, SCAT, or Woodcock-
Johnson.
Students age 13-14. For 13 year olds only, the EPGY
Mathematical Aptitude Test. For both ages, if available, a score
report from any of the following tests: CAT-5, CTBS/4, CTP-III,
ERB, ITBS, MAT-7, OLSAT, PLUS, SCAT, SAT-8, SAT-9.
Students age 15 and above A score report from either the
PSAT or SAT.
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Here is an excerpt from the guidelines for Northwestern

University: (again, just to give you an idea and an example):
Eligibility
A qualified student has:
(1) A score at the 95th percentile or above on a nationally normed,
standardized achievement test in the area that matches the class for
which the student is applying (e.g., language or reading scores at the
95th percentile for humanities classes).
(2) A recommendation from a current teacher or gifted program

coordinator.
Students unable to provide qualifying test scores should submit

additional documentation of their above-grade academic ability and
achievement, including grade reports, portfolios, and teacher
recommendations.
(3) Returning students are automatically eligible, provided that test

scores and other documentation support the class requirements.
Testing for PreK-3rd Grade Students in Evanston & Glen Ellyn

CTD offers a testing assessment for PreK-3rd grade students without
test scores who would like to be admitted into a CTD program.
Students must be at least four years old. The assessment consists of
achievement tests in reading recognition, early mathematics, and
general information, tests of abstract logical reasoning ability, fine
motor coordination, and abstract representation. Conducted by a CTD
test consultant, testing takes approximately one hour and costs $100,
to be paid at the time of testing.
The testing is not a general psychological evaluation, and the results

should not be used as such. Comparable evaluations by a school
psychologist may be used provided that achievement scores in the
areas of mathematics and language arts are included.
In conclusion, Id like to include here a description of the skills and
characteristics that a very known school for gifted children here in
California is looking for, when assessing gifted children:
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152
Childs genius
In considering students for admission, we look for evidence of the

following characteristics: intellectual curiosity, independent thought
and depth of ideas, creativity in approach to problems and divergent
thinking. The Admissions Committee also considers factors such as
social skills and emotional acuity.
About Giving Thanks and Appreciation
Thanksgiving: this is a time of the year that creates very strong

emotions in me. Here in the United States, we celebrate this wonderful
holiday that reminds us, at least once a year, to think about all the
reasons we have to be grateful. Children in school spend some time
writing down a list of reasons they have to appreciate the things that
they have and the circumstances of their lives.
You can be sure that I am grateful for you, the reader of this book. I
am grateful for your interest in developing your childs genius, your
willingness to give your child the best opportunities in life, your desire
to invest in your child.
I am also grateful to all the wonderful people who took the time to
write to me, with thanks and requests. Thanks so much!
I was born into a wonderful family. My parents were both business

owners, and were quite comfortable financially. Above all in the world,
they loved my sister and myself. We had a wonderful childhood, free
of worry and concern. Growing up outside the US, we did not celebrate
Thanksgiving, and even though we had everything in the world
children could ask for, we were never taught to be thankful. We never
took the time to think deliberately about all the things we had that we
should have been grateful for. It was only after I spent some time with
not nearly as many things that I started appreciating all I had had.
- -
153
Childs genius
As parents, we all need to take some time to sit down with our
children, and talk about all the wonderful reasons they have to give
thanks. Our childrens job is to learn about the world and their
environment. They observe the environment and everything they see
and they accept it as normal. That is the reason why children are
able to adapt so easily to a variety of situations. It is our job, as their
parents, to teach them appreciation.
Whether you live in the US, where we celebrate Thanksgiving, or

outside the US, take the time to really talk with your children and
learn what they are grateful for. Help them realize how much they
take for granted, how much more they can appreciate.
It is a great time of the year to participate in volunteer activities. Take

your child with you, and teach them how to give back to society, to
help other people who are not as fortunate as they are. There is no
better way to teach our children appreciation.
Conclusion
We all want the best for our children. Beyond our desire for them to be
healthy, happy, normal children, we want our children to turn into
good people, and to have satisfying, productive lives. Their future is in
our hands. Just as it is our responsibility to provide nourishment, to
take care of their health, it is also our responsibility to see that they
achieve their maximum potential. Long before they go to school, our
children learn the most important skills they will ever need. Their
future is in our hands. It is a great opportunity and responsibility to
educate them the best way we can.
Before they are in school, they are dependent on us, the parents, to
provide the best education for them. It is our responsibility. During
their school years, we cannot simply count on the school to educate
our children. It is still our responsibility to make sure that our children
are getting the best education possible.
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154
Childs genius
In this book, I have given you a number of ideas and activities to try
out with your child. As you are working with your child, new ideas will
come up, and new opportunities will present themselves. Please dont
hesitate to try new and exciting things activities that will enrich your
childs life and yours.
If you follow the principles in this book, and try a variety of activities
with your child, you will notice that in addition to the benefit of
increasing your childs intelligence, you will also increase your childs
confidence and most important: the bond between you and your child
will strengthen and your relationship with your child will be the most
wonderful possible. I think that you will agree that these added
bonuses are priceless.
Now that youve finished reading this book, I invite you to e-mail me,
to esther@all-gifted-children.com with any comments, requests or
concerns. I invite you to visit our web site: http://www.all-gifted-
children.com. I am constantly adding new information to the site, so
visit us often.

All Rights Reserved
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The Manual Your Child Should Have Come With How to Develop Your

The Manual Your Child Should Have

This book is copyrighted. If you are holding a version that

Copyright 2006 all-gifted-children.com

Forward by Peter Shepherd 4

A Word About Gender Issues 10

Give Me a Baby Any Baby and I Will Turn It into a Genius 12

On Whose Side Are You? 18

The Parents Are the Natural Teachers 20

To Push or Not to Push - That is the Question! 21

Follow Your Childs Lead 26

Avoid Boring Your Child 29

Children Hate to Be Tested 30

The Myth of the Geek 31

The Myth of Stress and Frustration and Other Myths 32

When to Avoid Doing Any Planned Educational Activities 35

Make Sure Your Childs Teacher is Trained in Teaching His

Time Management For Busy Moms and Dads 43

Goal Setting and Project Management for children. 47

Toys As Part of Your Child's development 51

This Right Brain - Left Brain Issue 53

Improve Reading Comprehension 68

Help Your Child Read Faster, Comprehend More and Remember

How to Teach Your Baby Math 80

How to Build an Abacus 86

Teach Your Baby to Swim 90

Gymnastics and Gross Motor Coordination 95

Fun Activities While Increasing Intelligence 97

Learning to Apply Information 101

Health, Food and Nutrition 107

Music - a Superior Tool for Brain Development 108

The King of Games - The Game of Kings 111

How Can I Motivate My Child? 118

Help for Slow Learning Children 127

How to Help Your Child Cope with World News 129

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) - a Useful Tool 131

Developing Leadership Qualities 137

One Step Farther 139

IQ Testing and Identification of the Gifted Child 147

About Giving Thanks and Appreciation 153

IQ Testing and Identification of the Gifted Child 147

Giving Thanks and Appreciation 153

of four at university have failed to reach the level of formal

vision, communication, concentration and will, learning and reading

been taught to look at things, especially by my parents, so if we hope

Copyright 2006 all-gifted-children.com

A Word about Gender Issues

2 things Id like to mention:

When I was a child, I was always extremely interested in Medicine. As

I must explain here that my mother was a great, outstanding woman.

Copyright 2006 all-gifted-children.com

Give Me a Baby Any Baby and I

husbands genes and mine, and ask me if my IQ is also high. Well, it

Children are Able to Learn Much More,

Again the father is just an ordinary chess player, he is not a genius!

I am not a child psychologist. I am a mother, just like you. The

On Whose Side Are You?

As a child, I had a recurrent dream. A person wanted to harm me. The

The Parents Are the Natural Teachers

To Push or Not to Push - That is the

It is Saturday night. Eric is checking his e-mail on my

It is not easy to bring up a child. Children dont come with a manual or

Glenn Doman, a well-known author, came out with a revolutionary