Running Head: A NARRATIVE REFLECTION 1

A Narrative Reflection of My Masters Program

Patrick D. Randolph

Loyola University Chicago

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During my time in the Loyola University Chicago Higher Education and Student Affairs

program, I have learned so much. Every class has been a tough, but rewarding journey of

discovery. I have learned more about myself and the world around me in the past two years than

in the previous 25. In the following pages, I will try to unpack and reflect on this self discovery

and eye opening knowledge.

The Most Important Content

I think there are two things that I learned that are most important to me moving forward

in my higher education career. The first is that theory can be a useful tool, but needs to be

deconstructed and reconstructed whenever possible to better fit each situation a professional

encounters. The second is leaders are never born, they are shaped by their own experiences and

circumstances.

This was the first time I had been given the chance to refute theory and challenge it to its

core. During this program, my favorite theory is Perrys (1981) theory of cognitive development.

This theory talks about the different stages people go through when creating thought. It takes you

through a progression of simple thinking; black and white or right and wrong; dualistic is the

word Perry uses to describe this early stage. A student then works their way to complex thought

with gray area and even the ability to hold two conflicting ideas constant. While I love this

theory and truly think it grasps many problems with American society, it still has it flaws. I have

learned how to find these flaws, but instead of then writing the theory off as incorrect, I am now

able to reconstruct it to make it fit situations in a broader and socially just way.

I have also learned that leaders are not born. If this were a true fact, then this would

exclude many people from the possibility of becoming a leader. This notion that some cannot

lead is a way to maintain the societal norms created by the dominate narrative. This content has
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also emboldened me to encourage those who have been told they are not leaders, to take on a

leader role. Without this lesson, I may have continued to see leaders as a certain type of person

and excluded large populations of my students from ever becoming leaders.

The Most Important Self-Discovery

This section is extremely easy to reflect on. My most important discovery about myself

was coming to terms with my whiteness and better understanding how I fit into the world of

social justice. While I am by no means an expert, I have made leaps and bounds in my white

identity development. A lot of this was influenced by Dr. Dugan, but my biggest break through

was when I stopped framing my whiteness as something I had to distance myself from, and made

it something I needed to learn about.

I also was able to frame the development as learning, taking a lot of pressure off of

myself when interacting with peers with targeted identities. Learning is a process that takes time

and practice. Once this pressure to be perfect was taken away and I was able to live and learn

more freely. I have been confided in by a lot of my classmates that they appreciate my

vulnerability, my willingness to engage in tough conversations, and my willingness to learn. I am

more appreciative of this development than any of the others I have had during my time in the

program.

The Most Important Lessons from Internships

Unfortunately, I did not have the most positive or rewarding Graduate Assistantship or

Internship. I have still learned a lot from these experiences though, even if I rarely enjoyed them.

The first lesson is that of perseverance. During my first year as an Assistant Resident Director I

was forced to fire 11 of my 15 RAs on staff. This was a devastating development that put me into

a spiral of despair surrounding my assistantship. My relationship with co-workers deteriorated

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and I was no longer committed to my work. After leaving Loyola for the summer, I was excited

to start an assistantship at the University of Tennessee in their Office of Orientation and

Transition. While I can look back fondly of my time at UT, the orientation was not run up to my

standards. Often times the graduate interns that were tasked with running the day to day

operations, were not given the support or authority to make things run smoothly. This, along with

Orientation Leaders who were unwilling to engage in a positive manner, again greatly

discouraged me and my higher education career aspirations. Even with all of this going on, I

have persisted and learned a lot about myself and the type of environment I would want to work

in. Learning how to persevere is an amazing lesson and one I had not truly learned yet.

After another rough year as an Assistant Resident Director, I have also learned the skill of

positivity and self-care. I have learned what I need to do in order to get myself through the day

and I really have learned what I love about any job I do. This type of soul searching and tough

lessons are invaluable to me. While I did not enjoy learning the lessons, I know they will stick

with me much longer than if I had perfect experiences.

The Most Important Lessons about Social Justice

Most importantly, I have learned more about social justice than I would have ever

thought coming into this program. Social Justice will be the most important lens I conduct my

higher education work through. Social Justice has become my lifes mission and it is all thanks to

this program.

I have learned so much about the experiences of marginalized identities. I have learned

how to find privilege in systems and how to best resist against that system. I understand now

how I can fight against systems of oppression using my own privilege. I strive to give a voice to
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those who have had their voice taken away. I want to do my part in ending systems of inequality

and oppression.

But the most important piece of information I have learned about social justice is why it

is so important, not only in our work, but in everything we do. Systems of inequality not only

hurt those with targeted identities, they hurt the oppressors as well. Shutting out people with

certain identities deprives an entire country the amazing talents, revelations, and discoveries for

our world. For example, the person who can create the cure of cancer, may never have access to

a college education. While we can all benefit from equality, the even more important reason is all

people, no matter what, deserve to be treated with equity. It is the right of every person to be

treated as everyone else.

Conclusion

I have learned so much while here at Loyola University Chicago, that I can honestly not

write it all down. There will be lessons that I do not realize I have learned until years from now.

When I reflect on all of various lessons I learned, I may even discover a new lesson hiding in the

old. I will forever look back on my experience here in this program and be grateful for the

opportunity to learn them. Most of all, I am excited to have become someone who will strive to

be a life long learner. I owe that to Loyola University Chicagos Higher Education and Student

Affairs program, faculty, staff, and peers.