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Agenda for Summit with Chinese President Xi Jinping

10:00-10:15 Photo op with awkward handshakes for the lying media to take pictures
and spin false stories around them.

10:15-10:30 Invite President Jinping to stare in awe at the cheap looking portrait of
Trump in the white golf sweater that he had his charity pay for.

10:30-11:00: President Trump will regale President Jinping with stories of the biggest
inauguration crowd in the history of the entire world.

11:00-11:30: President Trump will explain why he thinks China invented the hoax of
global warming to destroy the American economy. If President Jinping does not
admit that this is true, the meeting will immediately adjourn.

11:30-12:00: Lunch (Big Macs and fries; chocolate shake optional).

12:00-12:30: President Trump will berate President Jinping for forcing him to have
much of his clothing line made in Mexico, thus making him look like a hypocrite for
complaining about American companies sending jobs to China.

12:30-13:00: President Trump will change the tone by reassuring President Jinping
that the size of his penis is more than adequate, unlike what hes heard about Asian
penises, if you know what he means (wink, wink, nudge nudge is optional).

13:00-13:30: The two leaders will open an entire bag of fortune cookies. The one
with the best fortune will be declared the winner and the other will forever be a low-
energy loser.

13:30: Meeting adjourns.