Character relationship in Fifty Shades of Grey: Is there real love?

Introduction

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie has been catalogue as a very controversial one because it

exposes some topic people are not prepared to see. The movie includes nudity, harsh language

and the relationship of two adults that is based on sex. Many critics understand that this movie

would have a tremendous social impact society, especially in the aspects related to the bondage,

discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) in the character relationship.

The BDSM is defined as any consensual activity or lifestyle between adults which

include one or more of the followings: erotic power exchange, dominance and submission, pain

play, bondage or sensation play. This practice is considered by many people not part of the

regular sexual intimacy between couples, but for the ones who engage in this types of activities

are part of the way they want to have their sexual relationship. As part of this practice, adults are

consenting to perform those activities. That means, there is no one is controlling or making the

other person to do it without consent. Even though we can say that a relationship based on sexual

punishment and pain is not love, the ones engaging in these activities does not think that way.

In this paper we are going to discuss the relationship of the characters in the movie and

how the time period affects them. The characters went through a series of situations and

problems during their relationship that people could argue that Christian Grey is only using Ana

as a sex toy. Instead, my thesis is that Christian truly loves Ana and their love is meant for

each other.

Thesis discussion

Before we start with the discussion of our thesis, the reader needs to understand the basic

events that happened in the movie. Ana is a very shy girl that meets Christian, a millionaire
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entrepreneur that has a helicopter and a very big castle. Christian proposed Ana to have sex

with him in a BDSM relationship for which she has to sign an agreement. Ana is a virgin and has

no experience in sex, and at the beginning she agrees to have sex.

During the development of the movie their relationship turns to one where Christian

dominates sex and Ana dominates the emotions. Even though they have an agreement to have

sex in a painful and erotic way, they still do some activities as any other couple would. Ana

started very afraid of the sex games, but then she started to fantasizes and daydream with them,

she starts liking those sexual game up to the moment he start hitting her.

The movie also shows us why Christian has all his interest in having sex painfully. He had

a very bad childhood; he has to be submissive in order to survive. He was adopted by a woman

who controls the sexual relations and dominates him. Christian is looking for the love he does

not have as a child and think that the way to achieve it is by having rough sex with Ana. This is

the way as Ana stared to dominate Christian emotions and at the end of the movie she leaves him

with a final goodbye, but Christian does not want to let her go.

As I get inside the plot of the movie I stared realizing which is the reason Christian has to

have rough sex. He is desperate seeking for someone who loves him and this drives him to the

distortion the meaning of real love. The only live Christian knows is the one that makes you feel

pain. He was abandoned by his mother and a woman adopted him and introduced him in this

sexual playing that is not part of a relationship based on love. As part of this analysis I realized

that Christian really loves Ana, bur the only way he knows how to expressing his love is by

punishing her and playing hard sex.

The movie also shows us that Christian knows exactly what he wants and gets it by any

means. That was the way he survived in his childhood. He achieved all his success as a result of
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his own efforts with his business strategies; his work pays all his efforts. Christian comes from

an affluent adopting family with strange practices. If Christian were a poor person with these

sexual practices people would say that he needs psiquiatric intervention, bur since he is rich his

actions are justified.

Also, Christian portrayed himself as a man of control. Every part of his life is thoroughly

calculated. He has his own private helicopter, is well educated, has a good lifestyle, live in

luxury. All these things attract girls like Ana; they want to catch him and would do anything he

wants in order to be with him. At the beginning this was also Anas way of thinking but in the

process of plying their games both of the fell in love. But Christian has a darker side that soon

revealed. Christian tries to justify himself by saying that his sex preferences emerge because of

his childhood. May be we can agree with him because when kids are in their formative years the

way they are treated is the way they would treat others. It does not matter if you are rich or poor,

childhood experiences marks you for the rest of your life.

Christian also justify his difficulties in engaging normal relationships, his reactions to the

touch and his preference as a dominant partner and not as a lover to his childhood. One of the he

wants to have his relationships is by making a contract as he is used to do with his business. He

transforms his way to behave from been submissive to dominant. Know Ana is the submissive

and Christian is the one in control, but he does pressure her into commitment, to make a

decision. This part is one that makes us think that Christian is falling in love with Ana. Other

parts that show his new love is her way he treat Ana at the beginning with courtesy and

politeness, they did have a fight.

In terms of Ana, she is describe as a virgin and incredibly naive about all sexual practices.

Is Christian the one who trigger all of Anas emotions and sexual desires. She introduced her to
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the art of lovemaking. Hi introduced her to the painful love, because that is the type of love he

knows. At the same time, Christian shows respect and concern for Ana; he shows us he cares for

her. Since the beginning he was honest about his needs and expectations from a sexual partner.

Even though to Ana is looking for a fairy queen knight, she agree to his dominant deviations

from the norm in matters of sexual pleasure. In this game playing both of them fall in love, each

of them the way they understand love is. As the intensity of their sexual relationship reach the

top, Christian realized that he has never met anyone like Ana before. His previous experiences

where incompatible with what he was looking, and with Ana he has to redefine his thinking by

admitting it is worth to try.

This is way at the end we see a transformation in Christian in terms of his emotions to Ana.

On the other hand, when Christian hits Ana, she realized that she has agreed to more than she can

handle. Now their perception to love is different, Christian wants to pursue it, but Ana is

retrieving. As a couple they have their first encounter with their realities, with what they want

and are capable to accept. This different in criteria is the event that sends them apart and their

love cannot be evidence because they take different ways.

Conclusion

After watching this movie we understand that the opinions of some people contrast with

the events that happened on the movie. We cannot say that there were no nudity, harsh words and

erotic sex, but to say that this is a scandal that would have negative repercussions upon society is

an exaggeration. As any other practice, people who like to play painful sex have the same right to

express themselves. We cannot make a judgment of a conduct using our personal values or ideas

about sex. Christian and Ana engage in a relationship that was looking for something. Both of

them were looking for love, each of them in a different way.

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Before we judge we have to stop and analyze the situation as a whole. Christian is a

trouble kid, he was abandoned and the way people express love to him was by domination. This

is not a good reason for Christian to perpetuate this conduct, but in his struggle with his

desperate search of love he expressed it in the only way he can, by dominating Ana. But this does

not means that Christian does not love her, he does not know how to love someone or at least to

express it in a normal way. But who determines which the normal way is? Again we are making

judgments based on our point of view.

For me I understand that Christian loves Ana, but he does not know how to express it in a

different way. If he does not love her how can we explain that he cares for her and wants to see

her again at the end of the movie. Love is something that you give in the way you know how and

that was the way Christian knows to love someone.

References

"All tied up in the Bible belt; Bondage at the box office." The Economist 14 Feb. 2015: 29(US).

Academic OneFile. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.

"Domestic violence campaigners call for boycott of Fifty Shades of Grey film; Using the

#50dollarsnot50shades hashtag, the campaigners ask that people spend their money on

women's shelters rather than a trip to see the Fifty Shades of Grey film adaptation."

theguardian.com 5 Feb. 2015. Academic OneFile. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.

"'Fifty Shades' casts gray area on relationships." UWIRE Text 26 Feb. 2015: 1. Academic

OneFile. Web. 5 Apr. 2015.

Parker, James. "Bad romance: what the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon says about the

modern sexual condition." The Atlantic Oct. 2012: 36+. Academic OneFile. Web. 5 Apr.

2015.
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PervertionOnline. Bondage glossary. BDSM. Retrieved from

http://perversiononline.com/bondage-glossary/