6 Hidden Downsides of Perfectionism PDF

06/02/2017 6HiddenDownsidesofPerfectionism
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6HiddenDownsidesof
Perfectionism
by Celes
Image Credit
T his is part 2of my3-part series on perfectionism and how to makethe best out of
it.If you havent, read part 1 rst: 11Signs That You Are a Perfectionist.
Perfectionists are their own devils. ~Jack Kirby
Perfectionists vary in their behaviors: some strive to conceal their

imperfections; others attempt to project an image of perfection. ~Flett, York
University
On the surface, being a perfectionist seemsperfect. Not only do you have a keen eye
for details, you are always ready to push yourself to achieve that next big thing, that
goal that nobody has achieved before. You are always exceeding expectations with
https://personalexcellence.co/blog/perfectionismdownsides/ 1/21
goal that nobody has achieved before. You are always exceeding expectations with
thework you do, and the quality of your output is second to none.
Yet, being a perfectionist has its downsides. These downsides are not apparent until
you take a step back to think about your perfectionism and how it has been
servingyou.
Issue#1:Procrastination
While this mayseem ironic, procrastination is a recurring issue for some

perfectionists. Ive found that it seems to affect some more than others for
example, my pain point as a perfectionist isnt really procrastination, but something
else as youll know later in the article but it is a big issue for some. Ive worked with
clients who are chronic perfectionists, and some would heavily procrastinate on their
own goals, even though these are goals they feel passionately about.
Why is that so? Firstly, a perfectionist tends to conjure up an immaculate vision of

how things should be. So when its time to get to work, theybecome extremely detail
oriented, start to obsess about every single thing, get weighed down by every
problem, and get caught up by the need to create everything perfectly. Over time, the
pain of such intricate attention becomes too painful, and this subsequently leads to
procrastination putting off a task to get some relief, but is in actual fact
pushingaway the pain thatthey create with each task.
Secondly, perfectionists are specic about having the perfectconditions before they
get to work. First they need to have enough time, then they need to have ABCin place,
and then they need XYZ in place, and then theyll feel that theyre ready to start. As
long as any one item isnt there, they wont feel like starting. Theyd just put things off
again and again, justto waitfor that perfect moment to do thingsin theperfect
way.
Of course, at the end of the day the perfectionist is only fooling themselves. Thats
because when you put off something in the name of perfectionism, you still end up
getting done. Thats worse than if you had simply tried; even if the output is lousy, at
least its something to build on.Perfectionism that leads to procrastination
thusbecomes a trap that makes someone put off their goals in the name of
perfection.
Issue#2:Skewedviewofreality(Pushing
pastdiminishingreturns)
Recently, I realized that Ihave very low latent inhibition. That meansIm very sensitive
tosurrounding stimuli, which means I tend to pick up sounds,visuals, words, feelings,
behaviors, etc. very readily, more so than theregularperson.
Now, thats terric as it means beingable to pick up details readily. Im able to spot
mistakes and gaps quickly just by seeing things, and thereafter correct them.But the
crazy part about this is that as a perfectionist, I never know when to stop. I never
know when to stop tweaking things, to stop improving on things, and basically to
close the lid on a project.
An example is my podcastsand course video recordings. I personally record these

sessions, edit them, and then publish them.While everyone hears the nal version of
the les, what theydont know is the amount of work that goesbehindediting each
le.Many timesI would record and re-record a segment because I feel it doesnt
deliver my point as clearly.On average, I can re-recorda segment 57 times,
sometimes more. Many times I can record and re-record an entire course section or
podcast episode because I feel it can be better. And the endless hours, days,I spend
podcast episode because I feel it can be better. And the endless hours, days,I spend
editingeachaudio, removing clicks and slight pauses, adding pauses for effect,
removing digressions, and removingsmall fumbles?Its insane.
Now, the thing is that such editing is important, and is in factthe crucial difference
between unpolished work andgreat output. Yet, its easy to have a skewed view of
whats good or not good enough asa perfectionist.
For example, Ive been listening to some very popular and top-rated podcastslately as
a way to getbenchmarks and ideas for my show. I realized, much to my surprise, that
the very errors that I spend hours, evendays,editing in my recordingsare littered
everywhere in said podcasts! Mouth clicks, fumbles, saliva sounds, occasional
explosives, and even digressions by the host.More importantly, the presence of these
errors did not prevent me from getting value from the episodes. Im still able to
benet immensely despite these errors, which, if you think about it, are no different
than what youd hear ina conversation. While I had thought that these were make-or-
break issues that wouldseverelyaffect the quality of a recording,they dont as
longasnot occurring in excess.
What does it mean? As aperfectionist, its common to havea very precise,

extremeview of how every piece of work should look. This view is probably based on
sound grounds, such as high personal standards and experience.
Yet, this view may sometimes be skewed, in that while aperfectionist may think that a
piece of work must satisfy A, B, C, D, and E criteria in order to be considered
awesome, perhaps that isnt the case. Maybethe quality of thework is based on
factors A and B,more so than C, D, and E. But in trying to perfect every single thing,
sometimes we may miss this big picture. Sometimes, we may also exhaust ourselves
emotionally and expend a large amount of time just to achieve that nal perfect
image. But to what end?
Issue#3:Deepseatedunhappiness
I cant speak for all perfectionists, but between myself and perfectionists I work with
in coaching, Ive found that many of us go through internal struggles, perhaps more
so than the usual person, due to our perfectionism.
For myself, I oftenstruggle with my perfectionism where I (a) beat myself up for
things that I did wronglyor arenot up to my satisfaction, and (b) blame myself for not
getting as much as I want done. Many times I tell Ken, I hate myself or Im a lousy
person as I see so many thingsthat I wish to do, but havent completed yet. Many
times, I fault myself for others issues, even though its not my fault at all. My mission
is to help others grow, and in cases where I see that people arent moving forward,
even if it may have nothing to do with me, even if I have already tried my best, I would
stillfault myself for it.
Working with perfectionists in my courses, Ive seenhow their perfectionism creates

Working with perfectionists in my courses, Ive seenhow their perfectionism creates

great struggle andunhappinessfor themselves too. They struggle with their to-dos,
yet theyrefuse to ask for help. They set sky-high expectations for their work, yet they
procrastinate with theirtasks. They want to achieve perfection and precision in
everything, yet this precision creates great unhappiness for themselves.
In the end, they build this wall of pain, this cave of misery, that they grief and suffer in
each day.
We can see this strugglehappening forvery accomplishedperfectionists as

well.Lady Gaga, famed pop singer,admits to experiencing bouts of unhappiness with
her work, due to her perfectionist tendencies.She says, I am perpetually unhappy
with what I create. Even though I might tell you that[my song]Edge Of Glory is a pop
masterpiece, when its all said and nished there will be things I dread, and every time
I listen to it Ill hear them.
Her obsession with achieving perfection also gives heranxiety as shes constantly
worried that her showswont go well. She says, Im very bossy. I dont move on. I
vomit in the bathroom before every show. I can scream my head off if I see one light
xture out. Im very detailed every minute of the show has got to be perfect.
Akon, a record producerwho has worked with pop legend and known perfectionist
Michael Jackson before, says that MJwas never satised due to his perfectionism.
Akon says in an MTVinterview, He was never satised. Like, we might have passed
up ideas that I know for a fact were smashes. Hed be like, Nah, nah we got to
come up with something better. [But] we can never do better cause his expectation
was so high. It was almost to a point where we would have to get a record and I
would believe in it and just put it out, cause it would never come out cause he always
believed we could do better.
Michael Jackson revealed in a 1993 interview with Oprah Winfrey that he was
a perfectionist and was never pleased with any of his work. It is suspected
that his extreme perfectionism might have contributed to his depression.
Hedied in 2009 fromover-medication that ledto a cardiac arrest.
Of course, the emotional hurdles of a perfectionist varies fromperson to person.

Some experience recurring feelingsof dissatisfaction, while some are perpetually
crippled by the regret of seemingly smallthings. The point is that while being a
perfectionist may seemglorifying, a perfectionist suffers from deep pain, guilt, and
immense self-expectations.Without keeping this in check, perfectionists can become
depressed. Some can be clinically depressed. In extremecases, extreme
perfectionism combined with lowself-worthand a rm refusal to seek helpmay lead
tosuicideor actions that lead to their slow death (see next point).
Issue#4:Disregardforyourhealth
Many perfectionists are obsessed withachieving a certain standard, to the point

wherethey pay little regard to their health.
I used to be just like this, though Im working on it. I used to, in the quest ofperfecting
my work, work till 67am in the morning, sometimes later.Often times its not that I
dont care about my health, but that I nd my mission and deadlines more important
than 12 days of early sleep. So for example, if I had a live course on Saturday,
Idwork till wee hours through the week as I ne-tuned mymaterials. Then, Id worktill
wee hours through the weekend as I perfected my recordings and sent them to my
participants.
But this is obviously not sustainable. With my endless workload, Idwind up sleeping
late for pretty muchall days of the year. While I did this with no health ramications in
my teens and 20s (Im 31 as of this writing), I dont think thiswill persistif I continue
my reckless, health-depriving behavior.
With perfectionists in general, there have been studies that point to poorer health
With perfectionists in general, there have been studies that point to poorer health
among them:
In a 2010 study by the University of Coimbra (Portugal), it was found that socially
prescribed perfectionists had more difculty falling and staying asleep than
other students. One reason is because theyre worried about failing and being
labeled as failures. Insufcient sleep is known to raise the risk of diabetes, some
cancers, heart attacks, stroke, and early Alzheimers. [Source]
In a study of 383 people from Sweden, it was found that perfectionism
correlated with the degree of sleep problem. In a second study of 70 patients
with persistent insomnia from a sleep disorders clinic, it was found that these
patients have signicantly higher scores than normal on perfectionism. It is
hypothesized that perfectionism may serve as a predisposing factor for the
development of persistent insomnia. [Source]
In a study of 100 heart attack patients, perfectionists were found to recover
more slowly and at higher risk of further cardiac problems. 3 factors were
identied that slowed down their recovery: (1) stress from the pressure that the
perfectionists put on themselves; (2) chronic negative emotions from never
feeling joy in their achievements; and (3) lack of social support.
Thisis backed up by a Dutch study published in the journal Circulation in 2010,
involving more than 6,000 heart disease patients. Perfectionists with a negative
outlook were 3X more likely to experience more heart problems than those with
positive personalities.
A 2007 research from the University of Auckland suggests that perfectionists
are more prone to developing irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) after a bout of food
poisoning. The researchers followed up with 620 people who had an acute
episode of food poisoning and found those who developed IBS were more likely
to have perfectionist tendencies, such as carrying on regardless until they were
forced to rest.[Source]
(More on the negative effects of perfectionism on physical health here.)
Does that mean that a perfectionist will automatically havebad health? Notreally.
Does that mean that a perfectionist will automatically havebad health? Notreally.
What it means is that the way perfectionists often disregard their health in the name
of work and perfection results in the deterioration of their health. Their constant
worrying about achieving a certain standardalso serves as a bedrock for conditions
likeinsomnia, heart diseases,and headaches. Incidentally, some perfectionists turn
tocompulsive eatingordrinkingto quell their unhappiness [Source #1, Source #2]. In
the end, a perfectionist, through years ofself-neglect, causes their good health to
crumble away.
Issue#5:Difficultyinlettinggo
Perfectionists have difculty letting go. Letting go in terms of control of their work;
mistakes that they made; and imperfections.
This is why if youre a perfectionist, you probably have experienced the following:
You are afraid of delegating, because youre worried that people would mess up
your work.
You cant stop thinking about work, because you are afraid everything will crash
when you do.
Even after you delegate, you keep worrying about whats going to happen.
Youmicro-manage, even when your staff is doing ne.
You spend a lot of time correcting tiny mistakes that dont make a difference.
You keep thinking about past failures even though they have long passed.
This refusal to let go causes you to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders,
as you carry on more responsibilities in your life. In the end, you feel extremely
weighed down by every little thing, even though you have no reason to feel this way.
Issue#6:Compromisedrelationships
Last but not least, perfectionism can often lead tocompromised relationships.
Why? As a perfectionist, you often prioritize the perfection of your work above all
Why? As a perfectionist, you often prioritize the perfection of your work above all
things, including relationships. This means less quality time with people you love.
When the going gets tough, you would rather devote all your time to perfect your work,
hence leaving your relationships in the back burner.
Some perfectionists bring their work struggles into their relationships,lashing out at
their loved ones when things are not going well.Because perfectionistsassociate
themselves so personally with their performance, their friends and family get
negatively affected whenwork isnt going well for the perfectionist, which is lets
face it almost all the time due to their impossibly high standards.
Some perfectionists may even impose their standards of perfectionon their loved
ones, where they expect their spouse or family member to uphold similar standards
as them. An example would be a mom expecting her child to score 100 marks in their
tests all the time, or a wife/husbandblaming their partner for not doing housework in
a particular way, as per their vision.
Clearly, such pressureonly weighs downon your relationships. In the end, not only
does perfectionism hollow you out,you also drain your own relationships and push
your loved ones away.
HowAboutYou?
Can you relate to any of the above? Which downside do you experience as a
perfectionist?
Yet, despite these downsides, it is possible to make the best out of perfectionism and
manage it such that it doesnt compromise on your health or your life.Proceed to part
3:How to Overcome Perfectionism:Your Complete Guide
This is part 1of my3-part series on perfectionism and how to makethe best out of it.
This is part 1of my3-part series on 6HiddenDownsidesofPerfectionism
06/02/2017
perfectionism and how to makethe best out of it.
1. 11 Signs You Are a Perfectionist

2. 6 Hidden Downsides of Perfectionism
3. How to Overcome Perfectionism:Your Complete Guide
Images:Clock, Skewed view, Eyelashes, Michael Jackson, Guy working on a laptop, Clenched st, Couple arguing
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Latest Articles Podcast Videos Courses About

Perfectionists are their own devils. ~Jack Kirby

Perfectionists vary in their behaviors: some strive to conceal their

While this mayseem ironic, procrastination is a recurring issue for some

Why is that so? Firstly, a perfectionist tends to conjure up an immaculate vision of

An example is my podcastsand course video recordings. I personally record these

What does it mean? As aperfectionist, its common to havea very precise,

Working with perfectionists in my courses, Ive seenhow their perfectionism creates

Working with perfectionists in my courses, Ive seenhow their perfectionism creates

We can see this strugglehappening forvery accomplishedperfectionists as

Of course, the emotional hurdles of a perfectionist varies fromperson to person.

Many perfectionists are obsessed withachieving a certain standard, to the point

(More on the negative effects of perfectionism on physical health here.)

1. 11 Signs You Are a Perfectionist

MoreContentin: EmotionalMastery Productivity AllArticles+

FACEBOOK TWEET WHATSAPP

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