May

Page | 1

Michaela May
ENG-101-011T
Major Essay #1
2/20/2017

Helicopter Parenting

Even in my 18 years of living, the world has changed significantly. My

childhood was a lot different than my parents was, and my nieces and

nephews childhoods are going to be a lot different too. They are going to

grow up in a completely different world. On one hand, I cant wait to watch

them grow up and discover themselves and the beauties that this world has

to offer them. On the other hand, I am worried about them and how the

constantly changing world is going to affect them. Our world changes

constantly. Just look at how different things were last year, compared to now.

This worries me because the millennial stereotype is a result of generational

and cultural changes caused by helicopter parenting and the way it has

impacted the millennial generation.

I came to this theory partly from personal experience, but also from

listening to the perspectives of people in my life. When I asked a family

friend of mine, who is a part of Generation X, about being able to leave the

house or the sight of a parent or guardian she said, As long as we stayed in

the neighborhood. It was a safe time. Parents werent afraid of kidnappers.

Everyone watched out for each others kids. Within the boundaries of the

neighborhood we were allowed outside till dark. When I asked her about her
 May
Page | 2

kids (both age 17 today), it was a different story. She said, When my kids

were born it was a different world. It was too scary to leave them by

themselves. When I was a kid, because I grew up in small town, I fell

somewhere in between these two ideals. My parents had to know where I

was at all times. But, if I was with my older siblings who had cellphones, I

could go out to the Dollar General or ride my bike to the pool. So, I wasnt

really out of the sight of my parents. I was lucky to have this privilege of

equal parts freedom and safety. Unfortunately, kids these days are rarely

have this privilege unless they have siblings close to adult age. There are

children and young adults from my generation who have been so sheltered

they dont know how to act alone and sometimes think for themselves. When

I asked my sister, who has kids of her own now, about how these changes

between generations are affecting children and young adults she said, I

think it has caused a lot of dependency. Kids who arent given the freedom of

exploring and playing on their own without adult interference often become

dependent on parents to help them play and this I think leads to needing

help in other areas of their life as they grow up. The term commonly used

to describe this is helicopter parenting.

In Peter Greys article "Helicopter Parenting & College Students'

Increased Neediness", he defines helicopter parenting as, an over-

protective, over-controlling, intrusive style of parenting that may prevent

young people from learning how to solve their own problems and take

responsibility for their own lives. He continues to discuss the effects of

 May
Page | 3

helicopter parenting and backs up his ideas with the results of a survey done

by Jill Bradley-Geist and Julie Olson-Buchanan (2014) who surveyed 482

undergraduate college students. Each student filled out a questionnaire

designed to assess helicopter parenting Each student also completed a

questionnaire designed to assess their level of general self-efficacy Grey

says. The results of the survey support my theory that helicopter parenting

has become a more prevalent problem in the millennial generation. As Grey

reports in this article, The results were as predicted: Those students who

reported the most helicopter parenting scored lowest on the self-efficacy

scale and also gave the least adaptive responses to the workplace scenarios.

For example, in response to the critical performance review from an

employer, they were less likely than the others to say that they would listen

to the criticism and try to, and they were more likely to say that they would

quit the job, explain to the employer why the rating was unfair, or ask a

parent to call the manager on their behalf. In short, students who reported

helicopter parenting were less able to deal with and adapt to uncomfortable

or difficult situations, and would rely on their parents to deal with it for them.

Being able to work through problem for yourself is a crucial skill for being an

independent adult. Without these skills, you will always be a kid.

Helicopter parenting has also lead to a lack of sense of responsibility.

Parents have taken the approach that children should not have to be

responsible for anything and be able to play and express themselves freely.

While it is important for them to have the time to play and express
 May
Page | 4

themselves, it is equally important for them to learn responsibility and how

to be functioning members of society. Teaching and allowing your children to

be self-expressive and to form their own opinions is a good thing, but if they

are never taught that their opinions can be harmful, they are never taught

the consequences of their actions and words. As observed by my mother,

they have too much freedom too young and they get arrogant and do not

respect elders or think they need them and it seems to somehow affect their

view on life, and create a lack of respect toward others. This lack of self-

responsibility can cause a lack of understanding of their responsibility to the

people around them, or in other words, respect. When someone become

disrespectful or ignorant of the effects of their actions and words they

become destructive members of society and destructive to their own well-

being. I have learned a lot in life from my parents and grandparents from

listening to them and the mistakes they made growing up, and inadvertently

avoided making the same mistakes by taking their advice. After all, if we do

not learn our history we are doomed to repeat it.

One of the ways we teach kids to be respectful of others is the way we

discipline them. If you do not explain to your child why they are being

punished, then you are just hurting them and teaching them to fear you

instead of teaching them that everything has a consequence good or bad.

When I asked my brother-in-law how he was disciplined as a child he said,

Our consequences varied depending upon the act. He went on to explain

how his parent chose specific punishment intentionally to teach them

 May
Page | 5

consequences of their actions and why what they did was wrong; they didnt

just spank them every time they did something wrong. He said the results of

this are that, I have been taught to respect my elders and treat others the

way that I would want to be treated. On the other end of the spectrum,

when I asked my family friend about how she was disciplined she said her

parents, Yelled, and, did not let me have a car or a job as punishment.

Subsequently, she said, It took me longer to develop a good work ethic and

responsibility for my actions. We see from these examples that when you

hide your children and hover over them like a helicopter, they do not learn

anything. But, when you teach them instead of scolding them, they learn

how to act respectfully in the future.

As I began to look at all the data in front of me I began to see a picture;

I began to see patterns. The change in children and young adults wasnt

simply caused by time going by, it was caused by a shift in the way society in

general approached parenting. There was no strange biological change when

the millennial generation was born; there was a shift in parenting. Parents

who take the time to be a parent and let their children learn for themselves

help their children and keep them safer than a parent who hovers over their

child and guards them from everything that isnt safe. We need to stop

hovering over our children and stop guarding them from things that are

actually there to teach them valuable lessons about life and help them.

Helicopter parenting is the root cause of the millennial stereotype, and that
 May
Page | 6

stereotype is slowing becoming reality. Only we can fix it and prevent future

generations from falling victim to the millennial condition.

I honor Parklands core values by affirming that I have followed all academic

integrity

guidelines for this work.