Lozovska 1

Olga Lozovska

Professor H. Batty

English 101

10 May 2017

Surrendering a dream for the sake of baby

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a

successful personality and duplicate it, Bruce Lee. In Still Water Saints by Alex Espinoza we

can see several characters and members of the small community that have their own problems

and issues, but no matter what they all try to be brave in expressing themselves. Every individual

is worthy of admiration for some decisions that have been made, and especially for being

dedicated and faithful to themselves even in crises that they face. Azucar is the member of Agua

Mansa community that has some personal issues, assigned male at birth seeking to change

gender, saving money for the sex reassignment surgery. One day her life changes when she finds

abandoned infant and decides to keep him. Although, some may argue that Azucar is selfish for

keeping the baby and that her motives are to feel like a mother and moreover like a woman, I

argue that she is selfless for trying to save the infant and provide him a better life; furthermore,

she is true to herself for expressing her real self, no matter what society says.

Azucar is facing a problem of being in a wrong body, she was assigned male at birth

but lives as a female. She looks and acts like a woman with her long hair, thick eyelashes,

smooth skin and curvy body; she takes care of herself like a lady, keeping up with the latest

beauty treatments. She doesnt care about people gossiping or bullying, she is strong and brave.

Azucar is seeking to do the sex reassignment surgery to completely transition to being a female;
 Lozovska 2

she is saving up money for the surgery, dancing in the club at nights, rolling around onstage in

her tight dress, and cleaning the clinica in the mornings. Its a big step for her, she needs to save

just a little bit more and her big dream will come true.

Transgender are people, whose gender identity, expression or behavior is different from

the one that was assigned at the birth. It is called a Gender Dysphoria, a dissatisfaction with the

biological sex, that may result in anxiety, depression, restlessness or other symptoms. Very often

they feel ashamed, they isolate and hide from the society that may not approve their choice, there

are fears that they will not be accepted by family, friends, classmates, colleges or community. All

these secrets can lead to depression and anxiety, insomnia, or even to suicidal thoughts.

According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender survey, 39% of the responders have experienced serious

psychological distress, and 40% attempted suicide. Yes, Im transgender. No, Im not a freak.

Im just trapped in a wrong body, Im still human, Im in denial about being transgender. I

know the road will lead me to a happier place, but Im scared to go on it, these are opinions

from the anonymous platform, where transgender people shared their journeys, fears and honest

thoughts. And we can see how some of them have fears that society does not accept them.

Transgender people often face discrimination, abuse, harassment and bullying at school, work,

with family or friends. According to the transgender survey, 54% of the transsexual population

were verbally harassed, 24% physically abused and 13% sexually assaulted in school; 30% were

fired from work, denied a promotion or experienced other forms of mistreatment at work.

In Still Water Saints, Azucar meets Beatrice, a girl who works in the clinica for a few

years, they become co-workers and close friends. Beatrice tells her sad stories about abused

women that she had seen at the clinica, about babies being abandoned or taken away from their

mothers, and end up in foster care being abused and harmed. After Beatrice passed away, Azucar
 Lozovska 3

was morning her and praying the Rosario to help guide her soul to Heaven. When Azucar has

found a baby, abandoned by his mother at the clinica door, she has heard her deceased friends

voice I wish I could save just one of those babies. Break that cycle. Without much hesitation

Azucar decides to keep the baby, she just holds the infant and walks away. She spends a portion

of her savings to buy supplies for the baby, diapers, lotion, some clothes and even a stuffed

animal to play with since his birth mother didnt leave him much. Azucar has maternal instinct to

protect this baby from the moment she saw him. She makes a decision to leave the town, to

relocate with the baby and to find a quiet place to settle down. She doesnt think about her big

dream anymore, she is ready to spend money on baby, to provide him a better life. She promises

to take care of him: Youll have things clothes, toys, your own soft crib to sleep in. Ill make

sure of it. The money will be enough to last us for a while until I find another job. Well settle

down. Find a small place with a yard for you to run around in and trees for you to climb. Her

priorities changed, now she has responsibilities and someone to take care of, she needs to make

sure that baby will have better future, she gives him a chance for a happy and healthy life, that he

deserves.

What drives a mother to leave her own baby to the mercy of fate? It's been said, that

women who discard their newborns generally havent made plans for the birth or care of the

child, and are often not mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions. Baby

dumping, which is discarding or abandoning an infant, is an increasing problem in the USA and

other countries. It can occur in different forms: leaving a child in places where it can be found by

authorities, such as hospitals, police or fire stations, or discarding in an unsafe and unattended

location where they have little chance of survival with no health care and hygiene. There are over

20 million of homeless or abandoned helpless children all over the world! The consequences for
 Lozovska 4

the child who grow up being aware of what happened may be lifelong. They may have low self-

esteem and sense of self-worth, depressions, anxiety, sleep issues, even if were adopted by the

loving family. They may have difficulty trusting people, forming lasting bonds, or even relating

to a spouse or partner.

Despite some people believe that Azucar decided to keep the baby only because of the

selfish purposes, that being a mother would make her feel a complete female, I think that there is

more than that. I believe that she felt compassion for the baby, abandoned by his mother, she

imagined him being abused in foster care or getting into a wrong family. She felt that the child

deserves a safe and a loving home. Maybe it wasnt right to just walk away and skip legal

adoption procedures, but I believe that she didnt want the kid to experience depressions, anxiety

and low self-esteem, because of the fact of being left behind by his biological mother, she just

wanted him a normal life with loving mother. She wanted to protect him from the ugly truth. I

admire Azucar for surrendering her big dream, for spending her savings just to save and protect

this little boy, to provide him a better future. Saving a baby was more important than her dream.
 Lozovska 5

Work Cited

2015 U.S. Transgender Survey Executive Summary." Journal (American Water Works

Association) 91.4, Small Systems (n.d.): 257-63. Dec. 2016. Web. 10 May 2017.

Brannagan, Meg. "Psychological Effects of Abandonment on

Children." LIVESTRONG.COM. Leaf Group, 04 June 2010. Web. 01 May 2017.

Stiller, Cleo. "How Many Newborns Are Discarded in the U.S? No One Knows." Fusion.

Fusion.net, 14 Apr. 2015. Web. 01 May 2017.