The one with

the poems.

By Amal Egeh
Table of contents

2) tell me how awful your life is

3) I write
4) Sharp
5) routine
6) I am hope
9) Scared
10) White people are immigrants
12) Coded instruction
14) Feed her
17) what is love?
18) My parents
19) without consent
20) who am I?
21) Happy
22) My paint brush
23) Say out loud
24) 13
25) reverse racism
26) youre an extra
27) A little green
28) Ingiriika
29) Pledge Of Allegiance
30) The brown smile
31) The curse
32) Amal
How awful your life is

Children murdered
Women raped
Men tortured
Elders slaughtered
You ungrateful

Tell me how awful your life is

Tell me how much you hate the
Food in your fridge
Tell me how much you hate
waking up
Tell me how much your family
Annoys you
Tell me all

Tell me how awful your life is

While the people of Aleppo live in horror
While the children dig through trash for
food
While they watch their family members die
one by one
Tell me how awful your life is.
I write
I write for
Women
Children
Muslims
Girls
Blacks
For humans.

I write because
I am women
I am children
I am muslim
I am a girl
I am black
Because I am
Human.
 Sharp
Your tongue
Sharper than
A serpents tongue.

Your hugs
Stiffer than
A prick.

Your words
Hurtful
Pierce my heart.

You kill
With your
Words.
Routine
I am tired
Tired of doing
The same meaningless
Things everyday.

To get up
And do the same
routine
Over and over
With no
Satisfaction.

I am trapped
In a life of
Routines.

Its like a
Labyrinth
With
No way
Out off it.
I AM HOPE
I am hope
I am the daughter of Nimco,
Who smiles
Through the struggles
Of a laborer
The child of Fuad,
Who is
Faithful in the toughest times.
My people are Issaq clan
From Somaliland.
We are the people
You have failed to burn.

I am
Found in Africa.
Lost in America.
Suppressed by despair.

Now I have to choose between

Racism and Sexism.

I look at myself and I see

A compassionate
Young girl.
They look at me and see
A vicious terrorist.

I am a girl
I talk like a girl
I act like a girl
I play like a girl
I run like a girl
I throw like a girl
I hit like a girl
I fight like a girl
I am woman.

I am the sister of
Eves and Adams
Children.
Who loves for the sake of Allah
Who sees the light despite the darkness
Who hates bigotry
Who dreams of a world where
No child shall taste starvation.

Just because Im a woman

Dosent mean I am passive
Dosent mean I am indecisive
And dosent mean I like be told what to do
Just because I am a woman
Dosent mean I am weak
Dosent mean I am emotional
Dosent mean I cry a lot
Just because I am a woman
And doesnt mean I dont cry
Just because I am not a woman
And doesnt mean I cry
Because I am a woman
Because I am a human
I cry

I was
Lost
Oblivious
Afraid
Confused
I am
Found
Conscious
Brave
Curious

I live
I protest
I fight
I scream
For peace
Unity
Love
Equality
For acceptance
And I will
Protest
Scream
And scream
Until you knowledge
I am no less than you
And you are on more than me.
Until you
Accept my existence
Until you realize
We bleed the
Same color.

I have survived and existed

In a time of discrimination
In a time of genocide
In a time of police brutality
In a time of gender-based of violence
In a time of hate.
I dream of
A world
Where you will
See me for
The color of my skin
And my gender
And not discriminate me
For it- because
I am Hope.

SCARED
We were
Children
Going to the
Corner store
To get snacks
We were craving candy
Like a pregnant woman craves
Pickles and ice cream
And you were
Grown women and men
Fishing for trouble
Like a cat with a mouse,
You looked at us
Like were pieces of stake.
We were scared like
Astray puppies.
White people are immigrants
White man
Said
Go back home
You dont belong
Here.
Funny
You mean
Here?
The United States of America
The land of freedom
For everyman
But the
Negroes
Latinos
Indians
Immigrants
Women
And poor people
Oh I belong here
Because
You who
belongs
Here
Dont belong
Here
Is in it ironic
The hypocrisy
Of anti-immigration
In America
When the foundation
Of this country
Is europens illegally
Immigrating and
Forcefully
removing
Indigenous people
From their
Native lands.

You are
Right
We dont
Belong here
Yet we are all
Here.
It's just
A
Matter
Of whom
came
first.

So next
Time
You tell someone
Go back home
Ask yourself
Am I home?

Coded instructions

I am tired of you
Asking me about
My hijab.
You dont understand
My hijab makes me
feel liberated.
You tell me to
Take it off.
You tell me
Im oppressed
Not knowing
you are oppressing me
You ask
Do you have hair under there um
no, you see that thing at the back of
my head that looks like a bun is
actually
A giant tumor
Do you like shower in it? yea, you
know it even has its own special
shampoo.
Do you feel hot in that? yea, can you
tell Im shivering from all the
sweating

You dont understand

this article of clothing
on my head is
what makes me who I am.
I will not take it off for
Your pleasure
I will not leave my hijab
So you control me

And I dont need your fucking white

feminism
To fix me
Like broken toys

And i dont want your opinions

That you get from fox news
And wikipedia.

You say that woman should wear

What they want
Then you tell me I shouldn't wear
My headscarf to express my modesty.
Does this fabric on my head bother
you
That much?

I realize that you are just

A misinformed ignorant
Fed with propaganda
I dont blame you
For being emotionally programmed to
hate
I blame you
For being oblivious
To the fact that you were brainwashed
to hate
All muslims are terrorists

You say
Im not free
That's not true, is it?
Admit it, you want to change me
Because I am in fact free

And that is what

scares you

Feed her

She is fragile.
She is hungry.
She yearns and searches
For compliments.
She demands constant attention
When that is not given
She seeks nourishment
By belittling and criticizing herself
I am stupid
Im sorry
Oh my god why did I say that?
I got an A on the test?
It was just luck
She brags, claims to be smarter, more capable and wiser.
I didn't even study
I didn't even read the book

She is depressed
She pretends to be happy
She knows that people
Don't truly care
When they ask
How are you?
So she puts on a facade
And says
FINE.

She constantly manipulates you

Because she needs you
She needs to be fed
She needs you to praise her
to accept her

She has an exaggerated sense of self importance

She thinks that the world
Revolves around her
Thus, she believes that
She is the center of the universe.

Feed her
Tell her you like her outfit
Smile at her
Tell her her eyebrows are no fleek
Tell her you like her handwriting
Applaud her

Feed her
If you dont
I starve with her
Serve her
If you don't
I shatter with her
Dish out compliments to her
If you don't
I break with her

I'm not saying she is me

I am her slave
In a way we are all her slaves
She controls us

No matter how hard I try to submerge her

The minute I doubt myself
She eventually emerges
And makes sures
I diminish myself worth
Self esteem
Self trust

She is frustrated, angry and irrational

When she is not fed.
She makes me
Act out of insecurity
And the need to prove my intelligence
I start to envy the people around me
And I refuse to accept when I'm wrong

She won't stop until she is fed

Please feed my ego
What is love
What is love?
Is it giving chocolates
And flowers
On valentine's day?
Is it saying
I love you?
Does it hurt?
Does it ache your heart?

Love does not

Ache your heart.
Love isnt about
Getting and giving.
Love is not
I love you because you do things for me.
Love is not
I love you because I need you.
Love is not wanting badly
Love is not being attached to a person
Love is not a feeling
Love is not forever

What is love?
I dont know what love is
But, I know what love is not.

Are you in love?

Or are you in what is misunderstood for
love?
My Parents
My parents struggle
But they
never
Give up
They get up before
The sun.
They work
But I think work
Works them
they come home
With bruises
Bruises from
The cart my mother was pushing all day
From the window she was cleaning
My father bruises from
Driving all night in hazardous weather
conditions
My parents have the bruise from
The minimum wage.

I want to
Heal their bruises
I learn english
Like rubbing ice on their bruises
I study
Like applying heat to the bruise
To help circulate the blood that has
gathered underneath their skin
Hoping that
one day the blood will flow

Because they work

too hard
For me to bruise easily.

Without consent

Her dress was too short

She was asking for it
Why was she walking alone?
Why didnt she just keep her knees
close?
It was just one drunken mistake,
He is too young.
He has a bright future ahead.

They sympathize the Rapist

and accuse the victim.
They teach dont get raped
rather than dont rape.

They manipulate her into thinking

It was her fault
She was raped
emphasize on the word rape
because without consent ITS RAPE.

If she speaks out

She is asking for attention
So her only choice is to make
contingency plan:
Pepper spray,run,tase
Does that really work?
56,916 are raped per month
1,871 per day
78 per hour
And 1.3 per minute

And only
16% are reported.

Who am I?

Who am I?
I dont think anyone really knows
Who they are.

It scares me
Not knowing
The answer to such question.

Who am I?
The truth is
I dont really know who I am
Im still learning about myself
And trying to figure out
Who I am
As a person.
Happy

I am happy
I think

The truth is
I dont know if
I have
Ever been happy
Sad or mad

To me
It is all just a mix
Of emotions

I dont think
I will ever be
Permanently happy
It's just a state
Of mind.
It doesnt make
Sense to always be
Happy
You would have to feel sadness
To feel happiness
Otherwise, how do you know you are
happy
My paint brush

I bet you
Didnt know
I can paint
Paint my problems
Way
I can make you
See something
I can make you
Hear me
I can make you think
With my brush
Without your awareness.
Say it out loud

Let your voice be heard

Let it out, say it out loud
Love trumps hate, say it!
13

6am:sigh
Looking in the mirror
I...Im fat
My nose...my nose is too big
My pimples are disgusting
Im ugly

140 Lbs
Ew my stomach rolls
My legs are short for my body
My thighs are huge
God! nothing fits
This dress makes
me look fat.

11am
Cookies!
I want cookies.

11:15am
Why?
I said I was going to eat 2
Oh fuck it
I am already fat
A box of cookies
Isnt going to change a thing.

5ft 2
I learned to suck my belly in
I learned what not to wear
And what hid my fat.

13 years old
I learned to skip meals .
Reverse Racism

My mom makes
Fun of me
Because Im scared of burning
My tongue
Coffee black with red undertones
Tastes bitter
Hot enough to burn my tongue
To the 1st degree

As I wait for my coffee to cool

I read the comments
people write about the movie Get out they say
This movie is racist because it makes it seem like only
White people can be racist, that's not true racism effects all of us
Racism: a system in which
A dominant race benefits of other

Making a movie about

Black men getting murdered, beaten,
and violated is historical fact
No racism

You see
To be racist you have to have
institutional
power and
Black people have not had that power
Therefore, black people can not be
racist

One can not oppress

Their oppressor

White people are the oppressors

They stole, enslaved, and killed
Black people.
If racism was cooked and seasoned
for you U still wouldnt understand
what it tastes like
Ba, but I wasnt alive during slavery,
I swear Im not racist, I have a black
friend.

You are not responsible

For enslavement, but
You benefit from
Those who are responsible
It is hierarchy

You see, you have something

Called
White privilege
The advantages and benefits that one
Receives because
Of one's white skin.

my mouth becomes dry as I let my

coffee sit on the desk beside my
computer. the lukewarm liquid still as
my hands shake at the reaction to
these thoughts

The movie is only

Racist to
Racists forced to confront
their ignorance and
False sense of supremacy

Dear white people am I making you

uncomfortable
If I am it just proves your white
privilege

You insist you dont benefit from

your white skin
Your never had trouble finding your
foundation match because your skin
is fair
because you have
Never been followed around by
security in a store
Never worried about your brother or
father getting gunned down by the
police
Never worked twice as hard as your
white classmate
To get half of what they have.

You have never

Experience what its like
To be a black person
And you never will.
Your example of racism
Is not the same as a
Lifetime oppression.

Ouch
Mom, I got burned
And this time it wasnt the coffee that
scolded my mouth
But the ignorance of these white tears

She looked at me and said

They started it so let them drink their wordsmith
Youre an extra

Isnt it weird to
Think about
People you see everyday
And have never met
Those people are extras in your life
You are an extra in their lives.
Whether It's the old lady at
The bus stop every Morning
Or the man behind the counter
At the coffee shop.
You will never know each other.
Youll never know their name
Theyll never know you name.
You will never
Think about them
they will never think about you.

Because you are just an extra

In that scene of their life.
A little green

Little girl,wide smile

White eyes
All she knew was
Red
Blowing bubbles in
Yellow days.
Little did she know
Her green little heart
Would soon despair
As she gets older
She would become
Blue
Somehow shes still
A little green.
Ingiriiska

I remained silent
Emotionless
Kept everything to myself
Friends were people
Only talked to
During pastime.

My dreams were
To far too complex
To be discussed
Ambitious to the top
Money was never a part of
The plan

I aimed for
Knowledge
Drowned myself in
Words my tongue wasnt flexible
enough to pronounce

And one day

I did what was not expected of me.
Pledge Of Allegiance
I pledge allegiance
To the white man
Who told me to go
Back home
When my dad cut him off
To the women who
Held tighter to her daughter
When she saw people approaching
To the Uber driver who was too
Scared to accept my greeting
To everyone made assumptions
Of me before they knew
My name.
The brown smile

When I was younger kids

Would draw a thin brown line
On the center of their two front teeth
So they would look like mine
Not in a mockery way ,but
Out of Admiration

Now
I forgot how to smile with my teeth
Not because I dont want to but
Because I dont want everyone to wonder
What is wrong with my teeth
Or want to asked if I brush my teeth

So Im sorry if I look mean or sad

But I would rather look sad then be sad
Because of your stares.
The curse

A curse on Trump
I hope he feels
Every inch of pai
He has caused
Immigrants.

I hope he feels
Every fear he caused
Muslim families.

I hope his breath

Stops until he is
Grasping for air
again ,again
And again
Until his lungs give up
Like the syrian
Children he bombed.
Amal

Hope
How do I believe?
Why do I have trouble believing in
My own name?
When it is the name my
Mother believes in
She believed so much
She named her first daughter Amal
But, Amal sometimes struggles to
Believe in hope
 History of my year

At the beginning of the year

I stress cried everyday
As I wrote my personal statement
And supplemental essays
For my college app
While I watched
The the 2016 elections