N A S H

By Adrian Vitelleschi Cook

-

1 Sneinton Hermitage
Nottingham
NG2 4BT
TEL. 07896261754
FADE IN:

EXT. AUTO CAR WASH

Nash sits alone in the front seat of his car. The muted hum
of the auto car wash fingers away at the windows distilling
the lower frequencies. Nash is blank. Heavy teal blues soak
into his silent reflection.
DISEMBODIED VOICE
Nash...?
CUTS TO NASH PLAYING SQUASH...

INT. SQUASH COURT

Nash is playing squash. The action is intense. Quick

mid/close shots. He wears headband/wrist sweatbands, both
white with a blue stripe. The squash ball, too, is a blueish
hue.

CUTS TO LOCKER ROOM...

Opening his locker door, nash is bathed in a bluish light.
He removes a shoebox and closes the door.
CUTS TO NASH WALKING ON THE STREET...

EXT. URBAN ENVIRONMENT

Nash is walking to work. He is carrying the shoebox from his
locker.

NASH (V.O.)
Stuff is weird. Thats why people
are weird, because theyre just
made up of stuff, which is weird.

CUTS BACK TO NASH IN THE CAR WASH...

EXT. AUTO CAR WASH

White noise ambiance intensifies in the car wash.

DISEMBODIED VOICE
Nash...?
SUDDENLY CUTS TO NASH AT WORK...
 2.

INT. OFFICE
JUICEY K
Nash...!?
Nash is jerked into consciousness, receiving the full
expectant glare of the office secretary, Juicey K. She
conceals her impatience by quickly back-shifting to her
ordinary setting: a coy, shrill gloss with excessive gum
chewing.

NASH
*grunts awkwardly* Uh, yeh...?
Sorry.
JUICEY K
I said, dont forget that youve
got a meeting in twenty-five
with... (whispering) Mr Whisper.
NASH
Oh, right, yeah. Mr Whisper... Do,
do you...?
(stuttering slightly)
JUICEY K
Yes?
NASH
Do you...?
(being cut off by JK)
JUICEY K
(whispering)
Misterr Whisperrr...
NASH
Err... Yes...
(sheepish)
Do you know what Mr Whisper...
(being cut off again)
JUICEY K
(whispering creepily)
Mister Whisperrrr...

NASH
Do you know what he wants?
Juicey K looks on blankly.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.

NASH
Like, is it good news?
JUICEY K
(chewing gum)
Well,good is relative isnt it?
Good to you? Me? Ex Japanese Prime
Minister, Shinso Abe?
NASH
Well, is it...

JUICEY K
Its good babe. Come on... (coyly)
dont be a dick (tightening her
lips slightly).

(then cutting Nash off before he

has a chance to protest)
Dont be a dick.
CUTS TO NASH IN MR WHISPERS OFFICE...

INT. MR WHISPERS OFFICE

MR WHISPER
Youre fired.

Mr whisper is slick and wearing a well fitting suit. With

one leg slung over the other he is leaning in his office
chair much too far backwards to accompany the delivery of
such a message. An expensive pen is trapped between weaved
fingers which rest on the bridge of his sharp nose. Nash
finds himself propped in a simple chair marooned in the
center of a sparse office. A taxidermied cat has made a home
on top of a filing cabinet between the two.
MR WHISPER (CONTD)
Well, not fired... Half-fired.
Youre... cooked! Like a chicken.
Hahaha, yeah... like a chicken.
NASH
(looking confused)
But...
MR WHISPER
(Sighing)
Christ man, let me explain this
again, its not racket science.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.

WIDER SHOT REVEALS MULTIPLE FRAMED SQUASH MAGAZINE COVERS

HUNG ON THE WALL BEHIND MR WHISPER.
MR WHISPER (CONTD)
Things arent the way they used to
be... ever since Jayden Smith.

OVER THE (MR WHISPERS) SHOULDER LOOKING AT NASH. INCIDENTAL

SMALL PICTURE FRAME CONTAINING JAYDEN SMITH CAN BE SEEN
BOTTOM LEFT ON MR WHISPERS DESK.

MR WHISPER (CONTD)
There arent any jobs any more and
the company is sick. We all have to
do our part, and in some cases
(pointing a pen crudely at Nash)
half a part. Your work here is...
important, (somewhat under his
breath and looking away at the
taxidermied cat) allegedly...
CLOSE-UP OF TAXIDERMIED CATS FACE.

NASH
Excuse me...?
MR WHISPER
I said that the company has to take
on more employees but we dont have
any jobs to give them after what
happened in Fact Checking last
month.
NASH
What did happen, sir, in Fact
Checking last month? (looking at
the taxidermied cat)
CLOSE-UP OF TAXIDERMIED CATS FACE.

MR WHISPER
Fire.
NASH
Fire?

MR WHISPER
Fire. But the facts are hazy.
Obviously... theres no one to
check the facts, because they went
up in a haze. Look, (dispelling the
issue by waving his pen like a
wand) the facts are, were watering
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.

MR WHISPER (contd)
down your position here. But dont
think of watering like watering a
fire, think of it like watering a
plant. Its an opportunity. And
youll be splitting your job with
someone else. OK? Weve been taking
CVs all week. Well dont look at
me like that...
Nashs face looks melty.

MR WHISPER (CONTD)
Its called Job Splitting.
Theyve been doing it even since
things were normal.

CUT TO MR WHISPER IN AN EXTERIOR WOODED SCENE. HE IS SAT IN

THE SAME CHAIR WITH THE SAME DESK AND A LAMP AND A FILING
CABINET WITH THE SAME STUFFED CAT. A LARGE WHITEBOARD ON A
STAND IS PRESENT. MR WHISPER IS BRANDISHING A STICK WHICH HE
HE USES LIKE A POINTER TO EXPLAIN THE HISTORY OF JOB
SPLITTING.

MR WHISPER
(making good and aggressive
use of his stick and the
diagrams on the whiteboard to
illustrate his lecture)
The world is an economic ecosystem.
Time and entropy cause perceived
and actual change. When things
change, we adapt. Often, people
adapt too late. It has only been by
the skin of our teeth that, as a
species, we have slipped through
from disaster to the next. Did you
know that we are descended from
only a few hundred individuals who
made it through the Ice Age? The
fall of Western Rome, the Mongol
invasions, smallpox, influenza,
European imperialism, The Great
Depression, i mean
nineteen-eighty-fucking-three: when
we literally almost blew up the
world.
But... what if we could adapt
before these crises occurred? - We
would have to be able to predict
the events emerging. So, in 1972,
some clever people came up with the
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.

MR WHISPER (contd)
New Ways to Work Foundation and the
Department of Pre-detecting Arising
Phenomena.

PANS OUT, THROUGH AND BEYOND THE SCENE TO REVEAL THAT IT WAS
A PRE-RECORDED VIDEO MESSAGE BEING PLAYED FROM THE SMALL
MONITOR ON THE DESK OF MR WHISPERS OFFICE. HE SWIVELS IT
BACK TO HIMSELF AND CONTINUES SEAMLESSLY.
MR WHISPER (CONTD)
Or... (pronouncing phonetically)
NWWFDPAP for short. I mean, how
do you think i knew to pre-record
that? (pointing to his monitor).
NASH
Right.
MR WHISPER
The government is making us hire
more because of some unknown
economic situation looming around
the corner. (Brushing some pencils
sharpenings from his desk) ...some
people think its the Polynesians.
Look, ill admit this is confusing.
I havent the faintest clue why
its happening either but i went to
all that trouble to explain it so
id like you to just accept that
its for the best and that were
all going ahead with it now,
together (emphasising the word by
pushing his thumbs against
outstretched fists like the way
David Cameron used to do).
Mr Whisper brushes down his suit and puts on a friendly
grin.

MR WHISPER (CONTD)
You are now half-time employed! You
may go, indicating to the door.
NASH
(getting up from his chair)
So, will i be paid the same? Am i
getting a... (driving his words
into silence)

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.

MR WHISPER
...? Yes?
NASH
Getting a... rr?

MR WHISPER
Its not all bad news Nash.
NASH
(hopeful)
Will i be getting compensation?
MR WHISPER
What?!
NASH
Like, a raise. Or a bonu...
MR WHISPER
No! Youll be paid half. You work
half-time now, that would be
ridiculous.

NASH
Right. Right.
(Nash is almost at the door
and pauses)
You said there was good news?

Mr Whisper has begun cleaning out a pipe and pauses to look

up.
MR WHISPER
What?!

NASH
You said there wasnt "all bad
news"...?

MR WHISPER
Yes.
Mr Whisper goes back to cleaning his pipe. A wide shot with
the taxidermied cat in focus reveals a name tag reading "Mr
Whisker".

NASH
What is it?
MR WHISPER
What!?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.

NASH
What is it?
Mr Whisper puts down his pipe and looks earnest, drawing
himself together.

MR WHISPER
(heartfelt)
At least... we still have squash.
NASH
Right. And the opportunity? - You
mentioned there was an
opportunity...
Mr Whisper opens his hands, leaning backwards in his chair,
smiling with his eyebrows and nodding his head sagely.
MR WHISPER
Youll have more time for squash.
CUTS TO SQUASH COURTS.

INT. SQUASH COURT

Nash is playing squash. Its violent and sweaty. The light
is cold, blue, dark.

WIDE SHOT FROM ABOVE.

BACK TO MID-CLOSE. - Nash is exhausted. Doubled over to
catch his breath, he notices something in the corner of the
court. Remaining doubled he scuttles over to it and fondles
the object, inspecting it with childlike curiosity. Its a
squash ball. All squash balls are blue. All squash balls are
not red. This squash ball is red.
CUTS TO SHOWER ROOM.

Nash is having a shower. He reaches for the soap above his

head and his blind sudsy fingers introduce themselves to a
foreign object. Someone has forgotten a pair of glasses.
QUICK CUT TO... THE BACK OF NASHS HEAD, HIS HAIR IS A SOAPY
MESS. HE TURNS SLOWLY TO THE CAMERA. The hot flush of
descending water is fighting the rising steam. Through the
soap and chaos, he is wearing a pair of ill-fitting
sunglasses and grinning manically.
SOUND INTENSIFIES

Nash writes four letters in the condensation of a wet tile:

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.

N A
S H
ZOOMS INTO LETTERS AND CUTS TO LOCKERS AGAIN.

Nash removes a shoebox from the stack in his locker (there

are two now). He opens it, carefully putting the red squash
ball inside.
CUT TO THE STREET...

EXT. OFFICE
Nash is walking on a city centre street carrying two shoe
boxes. He seems clumsy and hurried.

CUT TO OFFICE...

INT. OFFICE

Nash is sat at his desk. he his typing methodically. His

shoe boxes are in view. A screen shot of his monitor shows
that he is typing a CV. Is he applying for a new job?
JUICEY K
Nash, Nash...

NASH
(stiffly)
Hello Gemma.
JUICEY K
(becoming fowl)
Juicey! You know i like to be
called Juicey K, Nash.
NASH
Right.
JUICEY K
How does talking work? Its so
weird isnt it? You, like, open
open your mouth and sounds come
out.
She turns away, looking out the window, opening and closing
her mouth like a dieing fish and making a sound like a
learner driver trying to find reverse.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.

JUICEY K
(returning suddenly to her
lipstick veneer)
Do you know why i like my men like
i like my coffee?
Nashs face describes panic and confusion.
JUICEY K
I said do you know why i like my
men like i like my coffee?
Nash? Naash? Do you, Nash? (she
continues, laughing like a twit)...

Nashs troubled face persists. Becoming too great to

contain, the pressure swirling in his head escapes languidly
from his mouth sounding like but not necessarily "gmumph"...
But just at that moment, Juicey K bats the itinerant
jibberish back into Nashs head with the punchline to her
joke...
JUICEY K
Its because im blacktose
intolerant. Ye, because i only date
white people?

Nash remains stunned. A closeup shows a small bead of blue

blood forming under his nose.
JUICEY K
Its because im blacktose
intolerant, Nash. Haha...
(chortling to herself).
The sound of Juicey Ks laughter blends into the white noise
of the auto car wash...

CUT TO AUTO CAR WASH...

EXT. AUTO CAR WASH

Nash is once again steeped in the intense and dark tones of

the auto carwash. Its his sanctuary. Not that anyone has
any particular trouble being unable to notice his
perfunctory existence normally, but from the silent, sealed,
muuffled world inside his car at the carwash, his
anti-existence is his own jurisdiction. The scene is
split-toned. - Left is blue, right is red. The passenger
foot-well is filled with shoe boxes. A box is open on the
passenger seat. The glasses Nash found are on the dash board
to the right, bathed in red light.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.

CUT TO THE OFFICE...

INT. OFFICE
CLOSEUP
Nash is pressed up against a wall near the foyer of the
office. His eyes are squeezed tight as if hes trying to
hide from what is about to happen next. He expels a mouthful
of air with two quick hoots, dons the pair of glasses and
sweeps around the corner with a peculiar gait.
NASH/HANS
Whats up guys, good morning! Ye,
yea...
Natasha! Billdon! (hi-fiving
someone called Billdon.) Namaste
bitches. Alan did your wife get the
terrarium i sent her? Spicey!
(pointing a finger in Alans
direction like a gun and shooting
an invisible bullet).
He swings into his office chair with the swagger of a squash
champ. Noticing a fresh pile of documents in a tray to the
side of his monitor labelled Hans, he promptly transfers
them into the empty tray next to it labelled "Nash".
(IT IS CLEARLY NASH IN A TERRIBLE DISGUISE. YET TO EVERYONE
IN THE OFFICE IT IS A NEW EMPLOYEE CALLED HANS AND IS
ENTIRELY CONVINCING.)
Putting his hands together and wedging a couple of fingers
underneath his nose, Hans leans back in his office chair,
creating a triangle between his hands and elbows as if in
deep thought.

HANS
OK guys (to no one in particular).
There has got to be a joke between
the Dalai Lama, a lama-diorama and
a dilemma. But i have absolutely no
idea what it is. Any takers?
Mr Whisper swans in at that moment with his hands in his
pockets...
MR WHISPER
Well it looks like youve got
yourself a real Dalai Lama,
lama-diorama, dilemma... (smuggly)

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.

HANS
Yea thatll do it (suddenly
becoming tense as he turns around
to discover that the voice belongs
to Mr Whisper)

MR WHISPER
(Pointing to the empty box of
documents...) Looks like youve
already gotten through your
workload, Hans. Nice!

HANS
Erm, yea... yes. Well, you know
what they say... "it always seems
impossible until its done"

HANS AND MR WHISPER (IN UNISON)

Nelson Mandela.
Hans laughs uneasily. Mr Whisper perches one leg onto the
edge of Hans desk, bringing one elbow down to his own
thigh.

MR WHISPER
How old are you Hans, thirty-five?
HANS
Err, thirty-three sir.

MR WHISPER
Married?
HANS
No, sir.

MR WHISPER
Ahh, when i was your age i was
thirty-eight. I had just met my
eighteen year old bitch first wife
who was twenty-six.
Hans, looks on...
MR WHISPER (CONTD)
She left me. Something about going
off to Chad (elongated) to help
save the locals. I wouldnt
financially support her. Im
against poverty... for that matter
pestilence, famine, disasters... so
why would i fund them?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.

JUICEY K
(Interjecting...)
What, you dont believe in charity
Sir? Comedy relief n all that?

MR WHISPER
No. Charity doesnt work, it just
perpetuates the problem. And
besides i hate the idea of help.
Helping makes my skin crawl.
Help is why i lost my beautiful,
bitch ex-wife.
Mr Whisper stands up...
MR WHISPER (CONTD)
In fact, fuck help, ive decided
to wage a war against help. I
will destroy help, wherever i
find it.
Its a pretty big job though, im
not going to be able to do it
alone...
At that, Mr Whisper glances at his watch and storms off
resolutely...
Hans raises his eyebrows indifferently, as if to articulate
"what the fuck what that?" He scribbles something onto a red
post-it-note. CLOSEUP - "URGENT", and slaps it onto Nashs
fresh pile.
CUTS TO CAFETERIA...

INT. CAFETERIA
Nash is sat alone eating a pitifully plain sandwich. He
overhears a conversation.

STRANGER 1
Everyone and their fuckin opinions
man. Im so sick of it. No one
should have an opinion.
Pro-life/Pro-choice... how long has
this war been going on for? Any
life form inside you is not right
its a parasite. You dont need a
doctor, you need an exorcist.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14.

STRANGER 2
Mate do you want to keep it down?
You sound like an arsehole.
STRANGER 1
Yea alright... its just my
opinion.
An open shoeboox is in Nashs lap. We cannot see inside but
a reddish glow reflects softly against Nashs face as he
stares dolefully into its contents.

CUTS TO OFFICE...

INT. OFFICE

Nash is about done for the day. He emits a huge sigh of

relief, stares at the ceiling, then grabs a pack of blue
post-it-notes. He writes something, jams it onto the panel
of his PC monitor. CLOSEUP - "HANS:", followed by a hand
jamming a second note: "DO SOME FUCKING WORK". Nash gets up
from his desk and is unsuccessful at evading the secretary.

JUICEY K
Oh, have you seen the new hire,
Nash? You know, the one that got
the other half of your job, have
you?

NASH TURNS TO HER RELUCTANTLY.

JUICEY K (CONTD)
Pretty cute.

NASH
Oh, really?
JUICEY K
Between you and me, right...
(leaning in)
NASH
...yes?
JUICEY K
...nothing.
NASH
Right.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.

JUICEY K
Between me and Hans... (with her
hands apart, as if to indicate some
large dimension)... Ohhh yeah!
(nodding her head too).

NASH
OK...
JUICEY K
Yea, you shouldve heard what he
said to me. Do you want to know
Nash?
NASH
Let me guess (under his breath)...

JUICEY K
I said do you want to know what he
said, Nash? He said (V.O. in Hans
voice - which, coming from Juiceys
mouth, is both menacing and weird)

HANS (V.O.)
Vikings!
CUT TO EARLIER CONVERSATION BETWEEN HANS AND JUICEY K...

INT. OFFICE
HANS
Im Danish, you see, my ancestors,
they sleep in the hall of Odin, the
All-Father, Bileyg, the
Shifty-Eyed, Bolverk, the Doer of
Ill.
JUICEY K
Wow what does that even mean?

HANS
They were water people. Check this out...
Hans then picks up an extremely large water bottle and
proceeds to downing it in its entirety with Juicey K looking
on in awe.
JUICEY K
Wow, thats incredible, how do you
do that?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 16.

HANS
(breathless, spluttering and
smacking his lips) i told you...
Vikings...

Hans gets up and staggers around the corner leaving Juicey K

speechless.
CLOSEUP OF HANS...
HANS
(to himself) This has to stop...
(gasping) How am i getting away
with this??
A man in accounts called Chollice Ketteridge pops his head
around the corner...

CHOLLICE KETTERIDGE
Hans, hey bro, are we still on for
Squash tomorrow?
Hans, still doubled over, gives the thumbs up.

CUTS TO SQUASH COURT...

INT. SQUASH COURT

Hans is playing squash with Chollice Ketteridge. Its an

easy match.
CHOLLICE
Say, Hans... (breathing heavily)

HANS
Eight-love!
CHOLLICE
How, do you do it?

HANS
Do what, Chollice? (Hans serves)
CHOLLICE
How dyou do it? How dyou convince
them?
HANS
Im not following, Chollice.
Nine-love! (smashing another ball
to inexorable victory)

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.

Missing the return, Chollice slaps into the sheen of the

squash court floor, his spectacles slide away. Hans stands
over chollices sprawled body bringing a racket slowly to
his head. We suspect Chollice has seen through Nashs
disguise.

HANS
Explain?
An exhausted chortling sound rings from chollices gasping
mouth as he scrambles around trying to locate his glasses.

CHOLLICE
The girls, Hans. Aha! (finding his
glasses)...
Hans lowers the racket and relaxes. He throws a towel down
to Chollice.
CHOLLICE
How do you make them love you?
Everyone at the office... They all
love you. How do you make them do
that?
HANS
You mean everyone or you mean the
girls, Chollice?

CHOLLICE
Well... everyone. (grinning
impishly) But also mainly the
girls.

HANS
(shaking his head) The horse hair
worm is a parasite. It lurks in
tainted drinking water waiting to
enter a victim where it grows up to
a foot long. You see, once it
matures, like us, it gets... horny.
It needs to return to the drinking
pools where sexy horsehair worms
hang out. So it creates an
infection in its hosts brain
causing the unwitting supplicant to
forget who it is and to succumb to
an insatiable lust to return to the
water and, once there, drown
itself.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.

CHOLLICE
Erm Hans, im not errm...
HANS
Once the host is sufficiently
weakened the horse hair worm
escapes out of its drowning anus,
swimming in search of its wretched
destiny: worm orgies.
CHOLLICE
Hans, I... (beginning to look
horrified)
HANS
You see, Chollice, love is a trap.
Theres a reason we play squash. If
we didnt, wed all remain where we
begin, at love-all. And we remain
in love until we score a point. If
we learned anything from Chancellor
Trump its that life is about epic
winning. We have to score in order
to win, so if we want to win we
have to abandon all notions of
love.
CHOLLICE
(Stuttering...)

HANS
And besides, they dont love me.
They love themselves. (Turning
away...) No. They dont even love
themselves... All of you, youre
just in love with the idea of
yourselves being people who are in
love.
CHOLLICE
Hans... who are you?
Hans turns back around to face Chollice/the camera..
HANS
Im mee! (between gritted teeth)

CUTS TO NASH WALKING ON THE STREET...

 19.

EXT. OFFICE
MID-CLOSE OF NASH
Nash is walking to work again. Struggling under the burden
of his multiplying shoe box situation, he can be heard
muttering "shits" and "fucks" under his breath.
CUTS TO NASH IN THE OFFICE...

INT. OFFICE
Nash is clicking away at his computer, wrinkling his nose
against the concentration. Mr Whisper hovers over Nashs
station.

MR WHISPER
Nash!
NASH
Yessir!

MR WHISPER
Listen here Nash. How long have you
been here for Nash?
NASH
Id say coming up to... five years
now, sir.
MR WHISPER
Yes, five years Nash. I dont know
if youve met Hans: your, uh,
half-replacement...

Have you..? ...met him?

NASH
Not exactly, sir.

MR WHISPER
Nash, Nash, Nash...
Maybe you should. Maybe you should
rrreally get to know him, see what
makes the man tick. You know...
Hans really gets it, he really fits
in around here. Now, youve been
late with every submission lately.
Its about time you started pulling
your weight. The arrangement is
simple: Hans receives and does half
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 20.

MR WHISPER (contd)
the work of each case file and then
all you need to do is complete the
damned thing and submit it. Youre
supposed to be a team. Why dont
you schedule a squash match
tomorrow? And whats with these
passive-aggressive notes you keep
leaving each other? Its got to
stop Nash, otherwise you leave me
with no choice... And what are
these bloody... (indicating to the
array of boxes on his desk).
Look, this is my advice...
NASH
Sir, i...
MR WHISPER
(Conducting Nashs attention by
clicking his fingers)... This is
important Nash! If you lose your
job youll not find another,
especially with your...
capabilities. Think of it like
life or death. This is the ONlY
time ill say this and im not
going to say it again...
Nashs eyes and mouth widen expectantly - CAMERA ZOOMS TO
CLOSEUP. At that moment a loud horn goes off in the office
space.

MR WHISPER (CONTD)
And thats lunch! (storming off)
Hunched at his desk, Nash is glaring hotly at his keyboard.
He looks up to notice another red post-it-note clearly from
Hans. It reads "NASH IS GAY".

NASH
Hans!!
He explodes, swiping at the contents of his desk and sending
a litter of shoe boxes into the air.

WIP PAN TRANSITION TO SQUASH COURT...

 21.

INT. SQUASH COURT

On Mr Whispers suggestion, Nash and Hans are playing a game
of squash.
(Clearly the match is taking place in Nashs head but the
personalities of Nash and Hans are distinguished by blue
and red colouring respectively. Needless to say, the action
is intense and violent.)

NASH
Why cant you be more helpful!? Why
cant you be a better you?!
HANS
I am a better you!
NASH
But you are me. I... i made you!!
HANS
Maybe you were me all along.
NASH
Shut up!
HANS
Im the real us Nash! Ive always
been the real us.
NASH
Thats not true. Thats not true.

HANS
Youre pathetic, who would want to
be youu? (Pointing at himself with
both hands like Tom Cruise does in
films) even you dont want to be
you!
NASH
No!
HANS
Oh yes. Its over Nash. Were over.
And its not you, its me. Its me,
me, me. Just accept it and fucking
fuck off!!
Hans dramatically slams a shot into Nash, appearing to
collide with him at the same time, the culmination of which
explodes into a shower of blue squash balls.
Hans stands, doubled over... panting...

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 22.

HANS
Ye...
Alluah Squashbar motherfucker
(under his breath).

Surrounded by a sea of balls, Hans notices something in the

corner of the court and staggers over to it.
CAM ZOOM DOLLY FROM BEHIND.
He raises it to eye level...

SOUND INTENSIFIES. CAM DOLLIES AROUND HANS, CUTS TO CLOSEUP.

The ball is green. Hans has never seen a green ball before.
CUT TO BLACK.

FIN.