AEC Chart for Online Submission

(THE CHART MUST BE WRITTEN IN PHRASES AND/OR BULLETS! NO COMPLETE SENTENCES! DOUBLE SPACE
EVERYTHING!) Once created, you will be required to use our little colored half sheet to assist you on your commentary
development

State Take # and color code it and date

TAKE 1 BABCOCK TAKE 1

TAKE 2 - 9/13/16 BABCOCK TAKE 2

TAKE 3 - 9/15/16 BABCOCK 3

TAKE 4 - 9/18 BABCOCK 4

TAKE 5 BABCOCK 5

TAKE 6

Thesis Information:

Author:__Lincoln____________________________

Prompt Name: _____The Gettysburg Address_________________

Rhetorical Mode: _____Persuasive_________________

Subject: ______Civil War________________________

Audience: __civilian and military alike__________________________

Occasion: ___Battle of Gettysburg_______________________

Tone: ____Hopeful______________________ (pick one)

Shifts: __Lincoln_________ shifts from _honoring the fallen_______ to ___a call to action___________

Purpose: ______Motiavte the union to continue combat in the war______________________

SQ: ___dedicated here to the unfinished work____ WHERE IS YOUR SEXY QUOTE? IT IS 5-7 WORDED QUOTE THAT
ENCOMPASSES THE PURPOSE OF THE PIECE

Why:__Reunite/preserve the nation__________________________

Thesis Sentence: Within Lincolns hopeful persuasive piece entitled The Gettysburg Address regarding the Civil Wars
devastating battle of Gettysburg delivered to civilian and military alike, he hopefully MOVE YOUR TONAL ADJ BEFORE
THE RM shifts from honoring the fallen soliders to a call to action in order to prove that motivating the union to continue
 combat in the war by mentioning declaring <-BY MENTIONING WEAK LANGUAGE they are dedicated here to the
unfinished work to reunite the nation (13). NICE INCORP OF SQ [thank you :)]

DECLARING IS TOO SIMILAR TO SAYING - YOU DONT WANT YOUR SQ TO BE INCORPORATED LIKE THAT. REWRITE
BELOW

Within Lincolns hopeful persuasive piece entitled The Gettysburg Address regarding the Civil Wars devastating battle
of Gettysburg delivered to civilian and military alike, he shifts from honoring the fallen soliders to a call to action, for
they STATE WHO THEY ARE are dedicated here to the unfinished work, in order to prove that motivating the union to
continue combat in the war will reunite the nation (13). WRITE AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR CHART

Within Lincolns hopeful persuasive piece entitled The Gettysburg Address regarding the Civil Wars devastating battle
of Gettysburg delivered to civilian and military alike dedicated here to the unfinished work, he shifts from honoring
the fallen soliders to a call to action in order to prove that motivating the union to continue combat in the war will
reunite the nation (13).

Assertion 1 Concept: __Unify the People_____________

YOU NEED TO COMPLETE THE BELOW

Author: Lincoln
Assertion Concept: Unification of the nation
To/by Statement: (basic verb: to prove) To reconcile by motivating
Purpose/why: Rebuild the nation

Assertion Sentence: (when told, write your sentence below) DO THIS

In Lincolns Gettysburg Address, he urges the audience to reconcile RECONCILE WHAT? by motivating the people to
unify the nation in order to rebuild the nation. REWRITE AT BOTTOM OF CHART

ADJ + DEVICE + TEXTUAL EVIDENCE: COMMENTARY:

1. Four score and seven years ago, our fathers - U.S. history to unite

brought forth on this continent, a new nation, - freedom to persude

conceived in liberty- (lines 1-2) - powerful opening

a) WAY TOO MUCH QUOTE - NO MORE THAN 5-7

SENTENCES
b) ALSO, IM NOT SURE HOW THIS SUPPORTS
YOUR ASSERTION IDEA...IT MAY WORK, YOULL
HAVE TO BE EXTREMELY THOROUGH THOUGH

ADJ : Reflective

Device: Allusion
WRAP BACK

2. We have come to dedicate a portion of that - honoring fallen soliders

field, as a final resting place for those who here

gave their lives that that nation might live.

(lines 6-7)

A) YOU NEED TO CUT YOUR QUOTE DOWN

B) YOU NEED TO STATE WHAT SPECIFICALLY IS THE
ANAPHORA BY QUOTING IT AS WELL AS
PERSONIFICATION
C) MAKE SURE THAT THE TEXTUAL EVIDENCE YOU
END UP CUTTING DOWN TO PERFECTLY
SUPPORTS YOUR ASSERTION

ADJ: honorable

Device: Anaphora, Personification

WRAP BACK

3. *****************-- that this nation, under - religious reference

God, shall have a new birth of freedom-- and - promise of freedom

that government of the people, by the people, - emphasizes people power

for the people, shall not perish from the Earth. powerful connotation of the phrase of the people...for

(lines 18-19)******************* the people OF WHAT WORDS

brings confidence to

audience by reinforcng that the address, war, and

AGAIN, CUT DOWN THE QUOTE SO IT ONLY CONTAINS
THE DEVICE AND IS LESS THAN 5-7 WORDS. OTHER
THAN THAT, THIS IS A PERFECT ONE TO USE - I WANT
YOU TO CHOOSE THIS ONE TO DEVELOP
ADJ: Empowering
battles are all done for the peope of america, and shows
how strong the union is that they are 100% certain
freedom and unity will be reestablished (in the name of

the people) HOW? GO FURTHER WITH IT

creates
Device: epiphora,
sense of trust to Lincoln (likely to agree w/ continuing

war) - by addressing all the war efforts are for the

common people -(does not put government above

people) - HOW DOES THIS CREATE A SENSE OF TRUST IN

LINCOLN - HOW DOES THIS MAKE THEM TRUST HIM -

YOURE RIGHT, BUT I NEED YOU TO EXPLAIN IT

use of deliberate repetition causes sense of urgency in

continuing/winning the war bc it shows people power

people power D
ONT USE QUOTES AROUND STUFF

THAT DOESNT COME FROM THE TEXT (war can be

quickly resolved IF the audience supports the war

efforts; nation CAN be reunited if people come

together) KEEP GOING - creates exigence by implying

the war is for unifying the people and betterment when

repated 3 times. <-YES, BUT HOW IS THAT URGENCY

SEEN WITHIN THE TE?; reminds audience war is for

them; honors the american citizens; urgency is seen

with the epihoras repitiion without the use of

conjunctions (asydenton) Y OURE STILL NOT SHOWING

ME THE URGENCY SEEN WITHIN THE EPIPHORA

honoring the citizens will bring audiende out of grief

and give them closure & the will power needed to

continue battling KEEP GOING!!! - important bc it is a

time of mourning for the people ; Relates to epiphora bc

the connotation of the TE is hopeful and positive which

is supposed to shift the mood from mourning to hopeful

HOW DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE EPIPHORA?

HOW IS HONORING SEEN WITHIN THE TE? Honoring is

seen in the TE with the emphasis of people; lincoln

recognizes the american peoples efforts in war,

advocates that once freedom is reestablished, it will be

maintained FOR the american people; in general

honoring the people; honoring adds trust and credibilty

to lincolns speech ; added nationalistic feels move the

audience ; believe the war will ultimately unite the

people ; recognizes no solder died in vain THIS HAS

NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR TE; imporant bc the

audience will recognize the war is signifigant THUS

CONTINUING FIGHTING IN THE WAR AND ESTABLISHING

THEIR FREEDOM WHICH LICNOLN PROMISES WILL NOT

PERISH BC ALL EFFORTS ARE MADE OF THE PEOPLE..BY

THE...FOR THE PEOPLE YOU NEED TO CONNECT THIS

TO THE TE in reuniting the nation & all combat is done

for the betterment of the peoples lives in america, and

only FOR the people, not the federal govt or lincoln

himself <-? WHY IS THAT IMP?; emphasizes the war

must quickly end to achieve peace - YOU NEED TO

CONNECT THIS TO THE TE

epiphora further emphasizes purpose idea that what

the war and soldiers have endured will create

unification; all struggles made will only benefit the

people of america; <-DONT SAY THAT - DONT REFER

TO THE PURPOSE AS THE PURPOSE - STATE WHAT THE

PURPOSE IS - YOU GET WHAT I AM SAYING? ; adds

unique rhythm to make address flow FLUFFY; appealing

to the audience; appeals to emotions by speaking

directly to the audience when he says

people...people...people HOW? SHOW ME DONT TELL

ME; encourages and motivates bc repeating of people

makes audience empowered and powerful enough to

finish this war; HOW DOES IT DO THAT? SHOW ME!

relates back to the purpose of unifying THE PPL bc of

the word usage/ emphasis on people, people, people

HOW?

adds drama and cadence to the speech FLUFFY

makes lines memorable/quotable; allows for audience

to retain the address better; continues to motivate

audienceN FLUFFY

use of the word people; makes connection with the

audience; combat is done for their liberty; reinforces

trust and safety bc lincoln is addressing the audience

specifically as if he is in a normal conversation; makes

himself seen as a friend not their leader EXPLAIN;

creates a sense of unification (since he is addressing the

people of america as a whole);

doesnt use citizens; addresses them as what they are

(human) ; refering to the audeince as citizens would

put them in a category (or just generalize them) ;

although use of citizens would = patriotism, people is

more raw and real, goes beyond reunting the country by

creating positivity in his connotation of

people...people...people and brings hope to the

address . CONNECT THIS WITH THE CONNOTATION OF

PEOPLE YOURE TRYING TO ESTABLISH , implies a

reuniting of humanity (putting away racial/ethical

differences); the divided nation may have differences

but they are all one human race; must be united and

support one another I LIKE THIS NOTION - DEVELOP IT

MORE TO GIVE IT A DEEPER MEANING AND THOROUGH

ANALYSIS;

use of the word people denotes respect ; recognizes

the audience is more than just citizens of america;

relates to the bigger picture of humanity; lincoln

equalizes the audience with the federal govt. EVERY

EFFORT IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE. THEY ARE

ALL ONE HUMANITY, ALL PEOPLE, THUS NEED TO BE

UNIFIED. INTERESTING.MORE ON THIS

adds personal feeling/meaning by having lincooln speak

directly to them as if they are in a one on one convo.

HOW?

WHAT BABY DEVICES ARE SEEN WITHIN THE TE???

DEVELOP THOSE. MORE ON THE PERSUASIVE
ELEMENTS SEEN WITHIN THE TE

Allusion to US. CONSTITUTION PREAMbLE

we the people

^^^^^ allusion further stregnths the address; related

back to original founding of america; lincoln aims to
return to unified US; his words
people...people...people are the basis of the
preamble; + adds emotion/feeling to audience
(nationalism); further presueds audience to continue
the war for the nation; persuedes for the ultimate goal
of a unifed U.S under THE PEOPLE. GOOD

WHAT ABOUT THE PREPOSITION USAGE AND THE

ASYNDETON? :)

lack of conjunctions and use of commas between each

phrase (asyndeton); creates speed and flow; speed
 exemplfies Lincons urgency by getting to the main idea
quicker, makes the audience feel the exigence of
continuing war; also makes the believe the war is not in
vain but for the audeince ( people) bc the asydenton
exerts power & pushes the focus onto THE PEOPLE;
ultimately proves the urgency of reuniting the nation

prepostional word of (the people) denotes the

nation&govt are composed OF the common people; by
(the people) denotes nation was created BY the people/
audiences history; for (the people) denotes the
nation is made for the positive furthernce of peoples
lives & opens oppurtnities; all come together to prove
this nation was only made bc it was the efforts and
ideas of the original ppl in america & in order to
perserve the country they must contuinue fighting in
the war.

WRAP BACK

Thesis Sentence:

Within Lincolns hopeful MOVE YOUR TONE RIGHT BEFORE SHIFTS persuasive piece entitled The Gettysburg Address

regarding the Civil Wars devastating battle of Gettysburg delivered to civilian and military alike, he shifts from honoring

the fallen soliders to a call to action, for the people are dedicated here to the unfinished work, OF WHAT? in order to

prove that motivating the union to continue combat in the war will reunite the nation (13). REVISE AND REWRITE

BELOW

Within Lincolns persuasive piece entitled The Gettysburg Address regarding the Civil Wars devastating battle of

Gettysburg delivered to civilian and military alike, he hopefully shifts from honoring the fallen soliders to a call to action,

for the people are dedicated here to the unfinished work, of the fallen soldiers battles in order to prove that

motivating the union to continue combat in the war will reunite the nation (13).

Assertion Sentence: In Lincolns Gettysburg Address, he urges the audience to reconcile the nation by motivating the

people to unify the nation in order to rebuild the nation. IM NOT SEEING YOUR ASS IDEA IN THE SENTENCE MAKE IT

OBVIOUS AND REWRITE BELOW

In Lincolns Gettysburg Address, he urges the audience to reconcile the nation by motivating the nation to continue

the war in order to ultimately reestablish unification of the nation.

EV Sentence: The ADJ epiphora of people creates a sense of confidence for the audience to unify the people. CITE -

REVISE AND REWRITE

The empowering epiphora of people creates a sense of confidence for the audience to unify the people (19).

BABCOCK 8

Commentary:

In his address, Lincolns deliberate repeating people...people...people (19) creates confidence for the audience

on <- WRONG PREPOSITION USAGE the idea of sustaining the war because it exemplifies the peoples power in order to

emphasize that the war will be quickly resolved if the audience supports the war efforts, thus the nation will reunite.

THATS A REALLY WORDY EV SENTENCE. CUT IT DOWN A BIT Repetition of the word people three times without

conjunctions allows for an emphasis on the exigence of the audience supporting war efforts in the sense that the

nations reunification will occur faster. <-YOURE BEING REPETITIVE - ALSO, WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF NOT USING

CONJUNCTIONS? DEVELOP THAT SOMEWHERE Using the phrase people YOU HAVE BEGUN EACH OF THE LAST 3

SENTENCES THE SAME WAY - WITH THE EVIDENCE; USE SENTENCE VARIETY reminds the audience all war efforts are

made for them by directly addressing the people, or audience. In this sense, he is directly commemorating the citizens

lost in battle NO HE ISNT which will treat their grief of the lost soldiers so that their will power and confidence will

strengthen for continuance of the war. <THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT / Due to the fact the address is set during a

time of mourning for the audience, IDK HOW THESE TWO PARTS OF THE SENTENCE GO TOGETHER the importance of

people...people...people (19) encourages the audience to be empowered in order to continue fighting; ultimately, the

epiphora WHICH YOU HAVENT DISCUSSED - YOUVE TALKED ABOUT THE REPETITION, BUT NOT THE EPIPHORA will

radiate enough empowerment to allow for the people to reunite. /To further motivate his audience, Lincoln purposefully

gives the phrase of the people...for the people a positive connotation HOW SO? which brings trust to Lincoln HOW?

YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS from the audience by reinforcing resilience in the union. He exerts that freedom and unity
will be reestablished in the name of the people by not mentioning the federal government, HE SAYS

GOVERNMENT...RIGHT BEFORE THE EPIPHORA but only addressing the people. /Focusing of the good of the people IDK

WHAT YOU MEAN BY THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE shows all war efforts are done for them, thus establishing the feeling

of trust and support towards the civil war. / The hopeful and positive connotation OF WHAT? I NEED A WORD THAT

YOURE ANALYZING created in the epiphora allows for a shift in the mood from honoring the fallen to motivating for a

reunification in the name of the people.

SO I AM NOT TOO SURE WHAT ALL OF THESE PARAGRAPHS ARE...I WILL COMMENT ON THE ONE ABOVE THIS ONE AND
THE LAST ONE.

Emphasis of the American peoples efforts in war, which Lincoln advocates that once freedom is reestablished it

will be maintained for the American people, created an honoring tone due to his focus on the good-will of the audience.

. An honoring tone produces trust and credibility to lincolns speech through adding nationalistic feeling through by the

people...for the people which causes them to believe the war will ultimately unite the people. Overall, the audience's

trust to Lincoln is important since they will recognize the war is significant and essential to continue, thus will establish

their freedom that LINCOLN PROMISES WILL NOT PERISH because ALL EFFORTS ARE MADE OF THE PEOPLE..BY

THE...FOR THE PEOPLE. All combat and attempts to reunite the nation are done for the betterment of the peoples

lives in america, and only for the people, not the federal governments benefit. Lincoln further adds a personal emotion

to his address due to his use of people which creates the effect of him having a direct, one-on-one conversation with

individual members of the audience, making them feel the mindfulness of Lincoln. Due to this, they will be more likely to

support the continuance of the war in order to reconcile the country.

Appealing to the audiences emotions allows for better manipulation and persuasion of their beliefs. Lincoln

makes a strong notion of appealing to his audiences feelings with his constant use of people. Trust is established

within them by addressing them as if they are friends by bringing himself down from the presidential status to a

common man, showing all classes of the country are united. Lincoln makes it essential to not address the audience as
citizens, instead addresses them as what they are, human. Referring to the audience as citizens would have put them in

a category, or generalized them, as just the people living in the country under the federal government. Although citizens

has a more patriotic connotation, people is raw and real, as well as goes beyond reuniting the country by creating a

hopeful, positive in his connotation of people...people...people. He implies a reuniting of humanity by putting away

ethical or racial differences will be gained through continuing the war. Despite the divided nations differences, overall,

they are all one human race which must be unified. Through his use of people, he denotes respect by recognizing the

audience is more than just citizens of america. Instead he equalizes the audience with the federal government by

expressing EVERY EFFORT IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE since THEY ARE ALL ONE HUMANITY, ALL PEOPLE, THUS

NEED TO BE UNIFIED, which can be achieved by continuing the war.

Throughout the address, Lincoln purposefully alluded to the U.S. constitutions preamble opening of we the

people. He creates an allusion to the time where the country was fully together strengths the address because it relates

back to original founding of America, the basis of what their country is founded on. Lincoln aims to guide the nation back

to the unified U.S. in the creating of the constitution. Repeating of people...people (19) creates the illusion that

causes the audience to feel nationalistic towards their nation, further persuading them to continue the war for the

nation, as well as for the ultimate goal of a unified U.S under THE PEOPLE.

BABCOCK 8

Lincoln purposefully uses a lack of conjunctions but uses commas between each phrase in order to create speed

and flow. Speeding up the phrase exemplifies Lincoln's urgency by conveying the main idea WHICH IS? quicker, as well

as making the audience feel the exigence of continuing war HOW DOES IT DO SO? EXPLAIN. The use of an asyndeton,

overall, makes for a more powerful phrase that urges the audience that the war is not in vain, or for the government,

but for the people. GOOD The lack of conjunctions exerts power by pushing the focus onto the people, ultimately proves

the urgency of reuniting the nation. /Lincoln delivers the idea WEAK PHRASING of the war being for the betterment of

the lives in the nation <-PPLS LIVES IN THE NATION SOUNDS WEIRD by selecting meaningful, and purposeful,

prepositional phrases. Purposeful prepositional words of (the people) denotes the nation and government are

composed of the common people; by (the people) denotes nation was created by the people, or audiences history

IDK WHAT YOU MEAN BY AUDIENCES HISTORY; for (the people) denotes the nation is made for the positive
furtherance of people's lives and opens opportunities IDK WHAT YOU MEAN BY POSITIVE FURTHERANCE . /Both the

use of an asyndeton, as well as selecting meaning prepositional phrases intertwine to prove that this nation was only

made due to the efforts and sacrifices of the original American people, and in order to preserve the efforts, the country,

and their lives, they must continue fighting the war which will result in the reuniting of the nation. YOU NEED TO

CONNECT BOTH THE ASYNDETON AND THE PREP PHRASES (WHICH YOU KIND OF DID) TO THE EPIPHORA. WHAT ABOUT

THE PERSUASIVE ELEMENT? THIS LAST ONE WAS WRITTEN WAY BETTER THAN THE ONE IN PINK. GOOD JOB ON THIS

ONE - THERE IS A LOT OF MEANINGFUL COMMENTARY HERE