A young
mother and her infant daughter were murdered, in this case allegedly by the womans
husband of almost three years and the father of their nine-month-old infant daughter.
At first look mother and child appeared peaceful, the mother lying in bed, her baby
girl curled up next to her. Peaceful, that is, until you noticed they each had bullet
entry wounds, evidence of shots that would soon be heard across two nations.
Each year almost three-quarters of a million Americans experience some kind of non-
fatal domestic violence. In the U.S., the number of people involved in emotionally
and physically abusive relationships is about eight million. The decision you make
about your partner or spouse will, in part, determine whether you live a life of
physically.
Most relationships begin with an introduction. One might first take positive notice of
the other person, perhaps identifying him or her as someone theyd like to get to know
better. It is at this time that we need to know the warning signs of an abusive
individual and use these signs as a kind of personal litmus test as we perhaps consider
individual can help you avoid the emotional and physical pain that accompanies an
abusive relationship.
A third of all women experience at least one or more physical assaults by a partner,
while a smaller but still significant number of men experience similar assaults. Four
women are murdered by an intimate every day in the U.S., while another 600,000
muster up the courage to report that they had been assaulted by a boyfriend or
husband, while others suggest that somewhere between two to four million women
are actually assaulted by an intimate every year in the U.S. Women are 10 times more
likely than men to be assaulted by a partner or spouse. Unemployed men are twice as
Most know that members of both sexes can and do bear the emotional scars that are
inflected on them by someone who initially professed to care for them. Therefore
your choice of a friend, partner, or spouse is the most important emotional choice you
will ever make, one that can have significant long-term consequences if you make the
wrong decision. Every time I have lectured on abusive relationships some women
and a few men attending the lecture put their heads down, their eyes welling up as
they think about the abuse they have suffered at the hands and in the presence of a
Most who marry today hold out some hope that they will spend the rest of their life
with their spouse, establishing a home, raising children, experiencing the joy of
grandchildren, and perhaps dying in bed together some 50+ years later of old age.
Most also realize that upwards of 50% of marriages end in divorce. Therefore half of
us will never realize our marital dreams, at least not with our first spouse. But we
hope, pray, plan, and work toward this goal anyway. Although some accept the
remote possibility that their marriage will not work out, few anticipate that they will
be the victim of severe domestic abuse by their spouse. After all, who would
Neil Entwistle met Rachel Souza in England in 1999. They were married four years
later, and their first child, a pretty little girl they named Lillian, was born in 2005.
Their marriage, like that of so many other young couples, seemed wonderful. Again
there were financial challenges, but this is the norm for a young family just starting
out in life. Neil worked in the IT field, selling what proved to be questionable at best
and fraudulent at worst software, web sites, and get rich quick schemes. Money
initially came in, but customers quickly caught on to the potentially fraudulent aspect
debt, something he never told his wife and in-laws about. What he did tell his wifes
parents was that he was employed in some type of secret government job, one he
couldnt talk about. (He couldnt talk about it because it didnt exist.)
Evidently the pressure of his soon-to-be failed business activities, his marriage, and
his responsibilities as a father and as the primary bread winner began to take their
toll. Some in the media report that Neil had recently expressed dissatisfaction with
the intimate aspect of his relationship with his wife. The IT specialist who sold porn
sites was soon surfing the net for escort services, a polite way to describe prostitutes
for hire. In fact he allegedly looked up travel directions to just such an escort service
a few days before his family was murdered, this as well as instructions on how to kill
with a knife. What finally broke the camels back in this case is unknown, probably a
combination of personal factors. But what authorities now appear to believe is that
two weeks ago Neil Entwistle took a .22 caliber revolver from his in-laws house and
used that gun to shoot his wife and daughter to death. He then waited a day before
flying to his parents home in England. He has now been charged by Massachusetts
authorities for this double homicide and is awaiting extradition to the U.S., probably
Entwistle has told authorities that he had left his wife and daughter at home to run a
few errands. When he returned, both were dead. He says that he then considered
committing suicide with a knife, but thought it would hurt too much so he chose
instead to buy a one-way ticket home to England. He has not suggested who may
have murdered his family with a gun obtained from his father-in-laws home, a gun
that Entwistle himself had fired during target practice, a gun whose location was well
known to Entwistle, and a gun that has his DNA on the grips and Rachels on the
muzzle.
boyfriend against his female partner. Rachel Entwistle was killed by a gunshot to her
head. A second bullet passed through tiny Lillians abdomen and entered her mothers
body. (This sounds just too clinical, though, to truly convey the awful nature of this
crime.) According to a study by the Harvard School of Public Health, the United
States accounts for 32% of the female population among the 25 highest income
countries. But, ominously, among these 25 nations, the U.S. has 70% of all female
homicide victims and 84% of all females killed by a firearm. This same study
confirmed that women are more likely to be killed at home by their spouse, ex-
boyfriend, or some other intimate, while men are murdered away from their home. In
the U.S., about two-thirds of the husbands who kill their wives have been drinking,
almost 25% have been using drugs, and 12% have a history of mental illness. Half of
all women killed by their husbands are shot, and another 20% are stabbed to death.
Although no one can accurately predict which man or husband will murder his partner
or wife, there are signs, characteristics and indicators that should not be overlooked.
These include:
even pets.
against others.
4. Lack of a positive male role model in the home, or the presence of an abusive
8. If male, he views and owns pornographic materials and may spend hours on
10. Has a very low or especially high self-image; if male, a macho man,
background or occupation.
12. Insensitive to the feelings of others he does not feel your pain.
Remember: Knowing these early warning signs can help you self-screen or screen
may also exhibit some of these characteristics at various points in their lives, but with
less frequency, severity, and duration than the truly abusive individual.
The number one cause of death for pregnant women is murder by their unborns
father. Additionally, we know that about 75% of domestic homicides occur during or
around the time of separation and abandonment. How Scott Peterson, Neil Entwistle,
or others who kill or are accused of killing their spouses may have progressed from
loving spouse to believed or convicted killers of their wife and child is unknown.
Anyone who says he or she can accurately predict violent human behavior is being
less than honest at best. No matter what the media tells you, very few people just
are usually present to some degree, but are intentionally overlooked, foolishly
disregarded, or perhaps simply missed by the victims of spousal homicide. Who, after
all, wants to admit that the person they trust most with their life is the person who
may take that same life in a moment of panic, frustration, anger, rage, or calculated
stupidity. No one who marries usually expects to be murdered by the one closest to
them. But for hundreds of women on a yearly basis, the one they trust the most
The finality of our vow of marriage many times includes the phrase, until death do us
part. Few understand that this vow can sometimes suggest a lethal form of
separation, and the most severe statement about your life that someone so close to you
can make. If you are considering a new relationship, know the early warning signs of
an abuser and avoid him or her like the bird flu. If you are already in such a
relationship, or know someone who is, seek help and assistance. The abuse will not
get better by itself. It will not go away, and it may even kill you.
Clint Van Zandt is an MSNBC analyst. He is the founder and president of Van Zandt
Associates Inc. Van Zandt and his associates also developed LiveSecure.org, a
Website dedicated "to develop, evaluate, and disseminate information to help prepare
and inform individuals concerning personal and family security issues." During his
25-year career in the FBI, Van Zandt was a supervisor in the FBI's internationally
renowned Behavioral Science Unit at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia. He was
also the FBI's Chief Hostage Negotiator and was the leader of the analytical team