ACOMEDY
1949
persons
EDWARDCHAMBERLAYNE
JULIA(MRS.SHUTTLETHWAITE)
CELIACOPLESTONE
ALEXANDERMACCOLGIEGIBBS
PETERQUILPE
ANUNIDENTIFIEDGUEST,lateridentifiedasSIRHENRYHARCOURTREILLY
LAVINIACHAMBERLAYNE
ANURSESECRETARY
CATERERSMAN
Thesceneislaidinlondon
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ActI
Scene1
The drawing room of the Chamberlaynes London flat. Early evening. edward chamberlayne,
julia shuttlethwaite, celia coplestone, peter quilpe, alexander maccolgie gibbs, and an
unidentified guest.
ALEX:Youvemissedthepointcompletely,Julia:
Therewerenotigers.Thatwasthepoint.
JULIA:Thenwhatwereyoudoing,upinatree:
YouandtheMaharaja?
ALEX:MydearJulia!
Itsperfectlyhopeless.Youhaventbeenlistening.
PETER:Youllhavetotellusalloveragain,Alex.
ALEX:Inevertellthesamestorytwice.
JULIA:ButImstillwaitingtoknowwhathappened.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Iknowitstartedasastoryabouttigers.
ALEX:Isaidtherewerenotigers.
CELIA:Ohdostopwrangling,
Bothofyou.Itsyourturn,Julia.
Dotellusthatstoryyoutoldtheotherday,aboutLadyKlootzandtheweddingcake.
PETER:Andhowthebutlerfoundherinthepantry,rinsinghermouthoutwithchampagne.
Ilikethatstory.
CELIA:Ilovethatstory.
ALEX:Imnevertiredofhearingthatstory.
JULIA:Well,youallseemtoknowit.
CELIA:Doweallknowit?
Butwerenevertiredofhearingyoutellit.
Idontbelieveeveryonehereknowsit.
[Totheunidentifiedguest]
Youdontknowit,doyou?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:No,Iveneverheardit.
CELIA:Heresonenewlistenerforyou,Julia;
AndIdontbelievethatEdwardknowsit.
EDWARD:Imayhaveheardit,butIdontrememberit.
CELIA:AndJuliastheonlypersontotellit.
Shessuchagoodmimic.
JULIA:AmIagoodmimic?
PETER:Youareagoodmimic.Younevermissanything.
ALEX:Shenevermissesanythingunlessshewantsto.
CELIA:EspeciallytheLithuanianaccent.
JULIA:Lithuanian?LadyKlootz?
PETER:IthoughtshewasBelgian.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ALEX:HerfatherbelongedtoaBalticfamily
OneoftheoldestBalticfamilies
WithabranchinSwedenandoneinDenmark.
Therewereseveralverylovelydaughters:
Iwonderwhatsbecomeofthemnow.
JULIA:LadyKlootzwasverylovely,onceuponatime.
Whatalifesheled!Iusedtosaytoher:Greta!
Youhavetoomuchvitality.Butsheenjoyedherself.
[Totheunidentifiedguest]
DidyouknowLadyKlootz?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:No,Inevermether.
CELIA:Goonwiththestoryabouttheweddingcake.
JULIA:Well,butitreallyisntmystory.
IhearditfirstfromDeliaVerinder
Whowastherewhenithappened.
[Totheunidentifiedguest]
DoyouknowDeliaVerinder?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:No,Idontknowher.
JULIA:Well,onecantbetoocareful
Beforeonetellsastory.
ALEX:DeliaVerinder?
Wasshetheonewhohadthreebrothers?
JULIA:Howmanybrothers?Two,Ithink.
ALEX:No,therewerethree,butyouwouldntknowthethirdone:
Theykepthimratherquiet.
JULIA:Oh,youmeanthatone.
ALEX:Hewasfeebleminded.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
JULIA:Oh,notfeebleminded:
Hewasonlyharmless.
ALEX:Wellthen,harmless.
JULIA:Hewasverycleveratrepairingclocks;
Andhehadaremarkablesenseofhearing
TheonlymanIevermetwhocouldhearthecryofbats.
PETER:Hearthecryofbats?
JULIA:Hecouldhearthecryofbats.
CELIA:Buthowdoyouknowhecouldhearthecryofbats?
JULIA:Becausehesaidso.AndIbelievedhim.
CELIA:Butifhewasso...harmless,howcouldyoubelievehim?
Hemighthaveimaginedit.
JULIA:MydarlingCelia,
Youneedntbesosceptical.Istayedthereonce
AttheircastleintheNorth.Howhesuffered!
Theyhadtofindanislandforhim
Wheretherewerenobats.
ALEX:Andishestillthere?
Juliaisreallyamineofinformation.
CELIA:ThereisntmuchthatJuliadoesntknow.
PETER:Goonwiththestoryabouttheweddingcake.
[edwardleavestheroom.]
JULIA:No,wellwaituntilEdwardcomesbackintotheroom.
NowIwanttorelax.Arethereanymorecocktails?
PETER:Butdogoon.Edwardwasntlisteninganyway.
JULIA:No,hewasntlistening,buthessuchastrain
EdwardwithoutLavinia!Hesquiteimpossible!
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Leavingittometokeepthingsgoing.
WhatahostIAndnothingfittoeat!
Theonlyreasonforacocktailparty
Foragluttonousoldwomanlikeme
Isareallynicetitbit.Icandrinkathome.
[edwardreturnswithatray.]
Edward,givemeanotherofthosedeliciousolives.
Whatsthat?Potatocrisps?No,Icantendurethem.
Well,IstartedtotellyouaboutLadyKlootz.
ItwasattheVincewellwedding.Oh,somanyyearsago!
[Totheunidentifiedguest]
DidyouknowtheVincewells?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:No,IdontknowtheVincewells.
JULIA:Oh,theyrebothdeadnow.ButIwantedtoknow.
Iftheydbeenfriendsofyours,Icouldnttellthestory.
PETER:WeretheytheparentsofTonyVincewell?
JULIA:Yes.Tonywastheproduct,butnotthesolution.
Heonlymadethesituationmoredifficult.
YouknowTonyVincewell?YouknewhimatOxford?
PETER:No,IneverknewhimatOxford:
IcameacrosshimlastyearinCalifornia.
JULIA:IvealwayswantedtogotoCalifornia.
DotelluswhatyouweredoinginCalifornia.
CELIA:Makingafilm.
PETER:Tryingtomakeafilm.
JULIA:Oh,whatfilmwasit?IwonderifIveseenit.
PETER:No,youwouldnthaveseenit.Asamatteroffact
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Itwasneverproduced.Theydidafilm
Buttheyusedadifferentscenario.
JULIA:Nottheoneyouwrote?
PETER:NottheoneIwrote:
ButIhadaveryenjoyabletime.
CELIA:Goonwiththestoryabouttheweddingcake.
JULIA:Edward,dositdownforamoment:
Iknowyourealwaystheperfecthost,
Butjusttrytopretendyoureanotherguest
AtLaviniasparty.Therearesomanyquestions
Iwanttoaskyou.Itsagoldenopportunity
NowLaviniasaway.Ivealwayssaid:
IfIcouldonlygetEdwardalone
Andhaveareallyseriousconversation!
IsaidsotoLavinia.Sheagreedwithme.
Shesaid:Iwishyoudtry.Andthisisthefirsttime
IveeverseenyouwithoutLavinia
Exceptforthetimeshegotlockedinthelavatory
Andcouldntgetout.Iknowwhatyourethinking!
IknowyouthinkImasillyoldwoman
ButImreallyveryserious.Laviniatakesmeseriously.
Ibelievethatsthereasonwhyshewentaway
SothatIcouldmakeyoutalk.Perhapsshesinthepantry
Listeningtoallwesay!
EDWARD:No,shesnotinthepantry.
CELIA:Willshebeawayforsometime,Edward?
EDWARD:IreallydontknowuntilIhearfromher.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Ifherauntisveryill,shemaybegonesometime.
CELIA:Andhowwillyoumanagewhilesheisaway?
EDWARD:Ireallydontknow.Imaygoawaymyself.
CELIA:Goawayyourself!
JULIA:Haveyouanaunttoo?
EDWARD:No,Ihaventanyaunt.ButImightgoaway.
CELIA:But,Edward...whatwasIgoingtosay?
Itsdreadfulforoldladiesaloneinthecountry,
Andalmostimpossibletogetanurse.
JULIA:IsthatherAuntLaura?
EDWARD:No;anotheraunt
Whomyouwouldntknow.Hermotherssister
Andratherarecluse.
JULIA:Herfavouriteaunt?
EDWARD:Herauntsfavouriteniece.Andshesratherdifficult.
Whenshesill,sheinsistsonhavingLavinia.
JULIA:Ineverheardofherbeingillbefore.
EDWARD:No,shesalwaysverystrong.Thatswhywhenshesill
Shegetsintoapanic.
JULIA:AndsendsforLavinia.
Iquiteunderstand.Arethereanyprospects?
EDWARD:No,Ithinksheputitallintoanannuity.
JULIA:SoitsveryunselfishofLavinia
Yetverylikeher.Butreally,Edward,
Laviniamaybeawayforweeks,
Orshemaycomebackandbecalledawayagain.
Iunderstandthesetougholdwomen
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Imonemyself:IfeelasifIknew
AllaboutthatauntinHampshire.
EDWARD:Hampshire?
JULIA:DidntyousayHampshire?
EDWARD:No,IdidntsayHampshire.
JULIA:DidyousayHampstead?
EDWARD:No,IdidntsayHampstead.
JULIA:Butshemustlivesomewhere.
EDWARD:ShelivesinEssex.
JULIA:AnywherenearColchester?Lavinialovesoysters.
EDWARD:No.InthedepthsofEssex.
JULIA:Well,wewontprobeintoit.
Youhavetheaddress,andthetelephonenumber?
ImightrundownandseeLavinia
OnmywaytoCornwall.Butletsbesensible:
Nowyoumustletmebeyourmaidenaunt
Livingonanannuity,ofcourse.
Iamgoingtomakeyoudinealonewithme
OnFriday,andtalktomeabouteverything.
EDWARD:Everything?
JULIA:Oh,youknowwhatImean.
Thenextelection.Andthesecretsofyourcases.
EDWARD:Mostofmysecretsarequiteuninteresting.
JULIA:Well,youshantescape.YoudinewithmeonFriday.
Ivealreadychosenthepeopleyouretomeet.
EDWARD:Butyouaskedmetodinewithyoualone.
JULIA:Yes,alone!
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
WithoutLavinia!Youllliketheotherpeople
Butyouretotalktome.Sothatsallsettled.
AndnowImustbegoing.
EDWARD:Mustyoubegoing?
PETER:ButwontyoutellthestoryaboutLadyKlootz?
JULIA:WhatLadyKlootz?
CELIA:Andtheweddingcake.
JULIA:Weddingcake?Iwasntatherwedding.
Edward,itsbeenadelightfulevening:
Thepotatocrispswerereallyexcellent.
Nowletmesee.HaveIgoteverything?
Itssuchaniceparty,Ihatetoleaveit.
Itssuchaniceparty,Idliketorepeatit.
WhydontyouallcometodinneronFriday?
No,ImafraidmygoodMrs.Batten
Wouldgivemenotice.AndnowImustbegoing.
ALEX:ImafraidIoughttobegoing.
PETER:Celia
MayIwalkalongwithyou?
CELIA:No,Imsorry,Peter;
Ivegottotakeataxi.
JULIA:Youcomewithme,Peter:
Youcangetmeataxi,andthenIcandropyou.
IexpectyouonFriday,Edward.AndCelia
Imustseeyouverysoon.Nowdontallgo
JustbecauseImgoing.Goodbye,Edward.
EDWARD:Goodbye,Julia.[ExeuntJULIAandPETER.]
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
CELIA:Goodbye,Edward.
ShallIseeyousoon?
EDWARD:Perhaps.Idontknow.
CELIA:Perhapsyoudontknow?Verywell,goodbye.
EDWARD:Goodbye,Celia.
ALEX:Goodbye,Edward.Idohope
YoullhavebetternewsofLaviniasaunt.
EDWARD:Oh...yes...thankyou.Goodbye,Alex,
Itwasniceofyoutocome.[ExeuntALEXandCELIA.]
[Totheunidentifiedguest]
Dontgoyet.
Dontgoyet.Wellfinishthecocktails.
Orwouldyouratherhavewhisky?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Gin.
EDWARD:Anythinginit?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Adropofwater.
EDWARD:Iwanttoapologiseforthisevening.
Thefactis,Itriedtoputoffthisparty:
ThesewereonlythepeopleIcouldntputoff
BecauseIcouldntgetatthemintime;
AndIdidntknowthatyouwerecoming.
IthoughtthatLaviniahadtoldmethenames
Ofallthepeopleshesaidshedinvited.
Butitsonlythatdreadfuloldwomanwhomattered
Ishouldnthavemindedanyoneelse,
[Thebellrings,edwardgoestothedoor,saying:]
Butshealwaysturnsupwhenshesleastwanted.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
[Opensthedoor]
Julia!
[Enterjulia.]
JULIA:Edward!Howluckythatitsraining!
Itmademeremembermyumbrella,
Andthereitis!Nowwhatareyoutwoplotting?
Howveryluckyitwasmyumbrella,
AndnotAlexandershessoinquisitive!
ButIneverpokeintootherpeoplesbusiness.
Well,goodbyeagain.Imoffatlast.[Exit.]
EDWARD:Imsorry.ImafraidIdontknowyourname.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Ioughttobegoing.
EDWARD:Dontgoyet.
Iverymuchwanttotalktosomebody;
Anditseasiertotalktoapersonyoudontknow.
Thefactis,thatLaviniahasleftme.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Yourwifehasleftyou?
EDWARD:Withoutwarning,ofcourse;
Justwhenshedarrangedacocktailparty.
ShedgonewhenIcamein,thisafternoon.
Sheleftanotetosaythatshewasleavingme;
ButIdontknowwhereshesgone.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Thisisanoccasion.
MayItakeanotherdrink?
EDWARD:Whisky?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Gin.
EDWARD:Anythinginit?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Nothingbutwater.
AndIrecommendyouthesameprescription...
Letmeprepareitforyou,ifImay...
Strong...butsipitslowly...anddrinkitsittingdown.
Breathedeeply,andadoptarelaxedposition.
Thereweare.Nowforafewquestions.
Howlongmarried?
EDWARD:Fiveyears.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Children?
EDWARD:No.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Thenlookatthebrighterside.
Yousayyoudontknowwhereshesgone?
EDWARD:No,Idonot.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Doyouknowwhothemanis?
EDWARD:Therewasnootherman
NonethatIknowof.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Oranotherwoman
Ofwhomshethoughtshehadcausetobejealous?
EDWARD:Shehadnothingtocomplainofinmybehaviour.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Thennodoubtitsallforthebest.
Withanotherman,shemighthavemadeamistake
Andwanttocomebacktoyou.Ifanotherwoman,
Shemightdecidetobeforgiving
Andgainanadvantage.Iftheresnootherwoman
Andnootherman,thenthereasonmaybedeeper
Andyouvegroundforhopethatshewontcomebackatall.
Ifanotherman,thenyoudwanttoremarry
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Toprovetotheworldthatsomebodywantedyou;
Ifanotherwoman,youmighthavetomarryher
Youmightevenimaginethatyouwantedtomarryher.
EDWARD:ButIwantmywifeback.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Thatsthenaturalreaction.
Itsembarrassing,andinconvenient.
Itwasinconvenient,havingtolieaboutit
Becauseyoucanttellthetruthonthetelephone.
Itwillalltaketimethatyoucantwellspare;
ButIputittoyou...
EDWARD:Dontputittome.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:ThenIsuggest...
EDWARD:Andpleasedontsuggest
Ihaveoftenusedthesetermsinexaminingwitnesses.
SoIdontlikethem.MayIputittoyou?
IknowthatIinvitedthisconversation:
ButIdontknowwhoyouare.
ThisisnotwhatIexpected.
Ionlywantedtorelievemymind
BytellingsomeonewhatIdbeenconcealing.
IdontthinkIwanttoknowwhoyouare;
But,atthesametime,unlessyouknowmywife
AgooddealbetterthanIthought,orunlessyouknow
Agooddealmoreaboutusthanappears
Ithinkyourspeculationsratheroffensive.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:IknowyouaswellasIknowyourwife;
AndIknewthatallyouwantedwastheluxury
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Ofanintimatedisclosuretoastranger.
Letme,therefore,remainthestranger.
Butletmetellyou,thattoapproachthestranger
Istoinvitetheunexpected,releaseanewforce,
Orletthegenieoutofthebottle.
Itistostartatrainofevents
Beyondyourcontrol.Soletmecontinue.
Iwillsaythen,youexperiencesomerelief
Ofwhichyourenotaware.Itwillcometoyouslowly:
Whenyouwakeinthemorning,whenyougotobedatnight.
Thatyouarebeginningtoenjoyyourindependence;
Findingyourlifebecomingcosierandcosier
Withouttheconsistentcritic,thepatientmisunderstander
Arranginglifealittlebetterthanyoulikeit,
Preferringnotquitethesamefriendsasyourself,
Ormakingyourfriendslikeherbetterthanyou;
And,turningthepastoverandover,
Youllwonderonlythatyouendureditforsolong.
Andperhapsattimesyouwillfeelalittlejealous
Thatshesawitfirst,andhadthecouragetobreakit
Thusgivingherselfapermanentadvantage.
EDWARD:Itmightturnoutso,yet...
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Areyougoingtosay,youloveher?
EDWARD:Why,Ithoughtwetookeachotherforgranted.
IneverthoughtIshouldbeanyhappier
Withanotherperson.Whyspeakoflove?
Wewereusedtoeachother.Sohergoingaway
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Atamomentsnotice,withoutexplanation,
Onlyanotetosaythatshehadgone
Andwasnotcomingbackwell,Icantunderstandit.
Nobodylikestobeleftwithamystery:Itsso...unfinished.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Yes,itsunfinished;
Andnobodylikestobeleftwithamystery.
Buttheresmoretoitthanthat.Theresalossofpersonality;
Orrather,youvelosttouchwiththeperson
Youthoughtyouwere.Younolongerfeelquitehuman.
Youresuddenlyreducedtothestatusofanobject
Alivingobject,butnolongeraperson.
Itsalwayshappening,becauseoneisanobject
Aswellasaperson.Butweforgetaboutit
Asquicklyaswecan.Whenyouvedressedforaparty
Andaregoingdownstairs,witheverythingaboutyou
Arrangedtosupportyouintheroleyouhavechosen,
Thensometimes,whenyoucometothebottomstep
Thereisonestepmorethanyourfeetexpected
Andyoucomedownwithajolt.Justforamoment
Youhavetheexperienceofbeinganobject
Atthemercyofamalevolentstaircase.
Or,takeasurgicaloperation.
Inconsultationwiththedoctorandthesurgeon,
Ingoingtobedinthenursinghome,
Intalkingtothematron,youarestillthesubject,
Thecentreofreality.But,stretchedonthetable,
Youareapieceoffurnitureinarepairshop
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Forthosewhosurroundyou,themaskedactors;
Allthereisofyouisyourbody
Andtheyouiswithdrawn.
MayIreplenish?
EDWARD:Oh,Imsorry.Whatwereyoudrinking?Whisky?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Gin.
EDWARD:Anythingwithit?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Water.
EDWARD:Towhatdoesthislead?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Tofindingout
Whatyoureallyare.Whatyoureallyfeel.
Whatyoureallyareamongotherpeople.
Mostofthetimewetakeourselvesforgranted,
Aswehaveto,andliveonalittleknowledge
Aboutourselvesaswewere.Whoareyounow?
YoudontknowanymorethanIdo,
Butratherless.Youarenothingbutaset
Ofobsoleteresponses.Theonethingtodo
Istodonothing.Wait.
EDWARD:Wait!
Butwaitingistheonethingimpossible.
Besides,dontyouseethatitmakesmeridiculous?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Itwilldoyounoharmtofindyourselfridiculous.
Resignyourselftobethefoolyouare.
ThatsthebestadvicethatIcangiveyou.
EDWARD:ButhowcanIwait,notknowingwhatImwaitingfor?
ShallIsaytomyfriends,Mywifehasgoneaway?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
AndtheyanswerWhere?andIsayIdontknow;
AndtheysayButwhenwillshebeback?
AndIreplyIdontknowthatsheiscomingback.
AndtheyaskButwhatareyougoingtodo?
AndIanswerNothing.Theywillthinkmemad
Orsimplycontemptible.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Alltothegood.
Youwillfindthatyousurvivehumiliation.
Andthatsanexperienceofincalculablevalue.
EDWARD:Stop!Iagreethatmuchofwhatyouvesaid
Istrueenough.Butthatisnotall.
SinceIsawherthismorningwhenwehadbreakfast
Inolongerrememberwhatmywifeislike.
IamnotquitesurethatIcoulddescribeher
IfIhadtoaskthepolicetosearchforher.
ImsureIdontknowwhatshewaswearing
WhenIsawherlast.AndyetIwantherback.
AndImustgetherback,tofindoutwhathashappened
Duringthefiveyearsthatwevebeenmarried.
Imustfindoutwhosheis,tofindoutwhoIam.
Andwhatistheuseofallyouranalysis
IfIamtoremainalwayslostinthedark?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Thereiscertainlynopurposeinremaininginthedark
Exceptlongenoughtoclearfromthemind
Theillusionofhavingeverbeeninthelight.
Thefactthatyoucantgiveareasonforwantingher
Isthebestreasonforbelievingthatyouwanther.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:Iwanttoseeheragainhere.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Youshallseeheragainhere.
EDWARD:Doyoumeantosaythatyouknowwheresheis?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Thatquestionisnotworththetroubleofananswer.
ButifIbringherbackitmustbeononecondition:
Thatyoupromisetoaskhernoquestions
Ofwhereshehasbeen.
EDWARD:Iwillnotaskthem.
Andyetitseemstomewhenwebegantotalk
IwasnotsureIwantedher;andnowIwanther.
DoIwanther?Orisitmerelyyoursuggestion?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Wedonotknowyet.Intwentyfourhours
Shewillcometoyouhere.Youwillbeheretomeether.
[Thedoorbellrings.]
EDWARD:Imustanswerthedoor.
[edwardgoestothedoor.]
Soitsyouagain,Julia!
[Enterjuliaandpeter.]
JULIA:Edward,Imsogladtofindyou.
Doyouknow,Imusthaveleftmyglasseshere,
AndIsimplycantseeathingwithoutthem.
IvebeendraggingPeterallovertown
LookingforthemeverywhereIvebeen.
Hasanybodyfoundthem?Youcantelliftheyremine
Somekindofaplasticsortofframe
ImafraidIdontrememberthecolour,
ButIdknowthem,becauseonelensismissing.
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UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST[Sings]:
AsIwasdrinkinginandwater,
AndmebeintheOneEyedRiley,
Whocameinbutthelandlordsdaughter
Andshetookmyheartentirely.
Youwillkeepourappointment?
EDWARD:Ishallkeepit.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST[Sings]:
Tooryoolytooryiley
WhatsthematterwithOneEyedRiley?
[Exit.]
JULIA:Edward,whoisthatdreadfulman?
Iveneverbeensoinsultedinmylife.
ItsveryluckythatIleftmyspectacles:
ThisiswhatIcallanadventure!
Tellmeabouthim.Youvebeendrinkingtogether!
Sothisisthekindoffriendyouhave
WhenLaviniaisoutoftheway!Whoishe?
EDWARD:Idontknow.
JULIA:Youdontknow?
EDWARD:Ineversawhimbeforeinmylife.
JULIA:Buthowdidhecomehere?
EDWARD:Idontknow.
JULIA:Youdontknow!Andwhatshisname?
DidIhearhimsayhisnamewasRiley?
EDWARD:Idontknowhisname.
JULIA:Youdontknowhisname?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:ItellyouIvenoideawhoheis
Orhowhegothere.
JULIA:Butwhatdidyoutalkabout?
Orwereyousingingsongsallthetime?
Theresaltogethertoomuchmystery
Aboutthisplacetoday.
EDWARD:Imverysorry.
JULIA:No,Iloveit.Butthatremindsme
Aboutmyglasses.Thatsthegreatestmystery.
Peter!whyarentyoulookingforthem?
Lookonthemantelpiece.WherewasIsitting?
Justturnoutthebottomofthatsofa
No,thischair.Lookunderthecushion.
EDWARD:Areyouquitesuretheyrenotinyourbag?
JULIA:Whyno,ofcoursenot:thatswhereIkeepthem.
Oh,heretheyare!Thankyou,Edward;
Thatreallywasverycleverofyou;
Idneverhavefoundthembutforyou.
ThenexttimeIloseanything,Edward,
Illcomestraighttoyou,insteadoftoSt.Anthony.
AndnowImustfly.Ivekeptthetaxiwaiting.
Comealong,Peter.
PETER:Ihopeyouwontmind
IfIdontcomewithyou,Julia?Onthewayback
IrememberedsomethingIhadtosaytoEdward...
JULIA:Oh,aboutLavinia?
PETER:No,notaboutLavinia.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ItssomethingIwanttoconsulthimabout,
AndIcoulddoitnow.
JULIA:OfcourseIdontmind.
PETER:Well,atleastyoumustletmetakeyoudowninthelift.
JULIA:No,youstopandtalktoEdward.Imnothelplessyet.
Andbesides,Iliketomanagethemachinemyself
InaliftIcanmeditate.Goodbyethen.
Andthankyoubothofyouverymuch.[Exit.]
PETER:IhopeImnotdisturbingyou,Edward.
EDWARD:Iseemtohavebeendisturbedalready;
AndIdidratherwanttobealone.
Butwhatsitallabout?
PETER:Iwantyourhelp.
Iwasgoingtotelephoneandtrytoseeyoulater;
Butthisseemedanopportunity.
EDWARD:Andwhatsyourtrouble?
PETER:ThiseveningIfeltIcouldbearitnolonger.
Thatawfulparty!Imsorry,Edward;
Ofcourseitwasreallyaveryniceparty
Foreveryonebutme.Andthatwasntyourfault.
Idontsupposeyounoticedthesituation.
EDWARD:IdidthinkInoticedoneortwothings;
ButIdontpretendIwasawareofeverything.
PETER:Oh,Imverygladthatyoudidntnotice:
ImusthavebehavedratherbetterthanIthought.
Ifyoudidntnotice,Idontsupposetheothersdid,
ThoughImratherafraidofJuliaShuttlethwaite.
21
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:Juliaiscertainlyobservant,
ButIthinkshehadsomeothermatteronhermind.
PETER:ItsaboutCelia.MyselfandCelia.
EDWARD:Why,whatcouldtherebeaboutyourselfandCelia?
Haveyouanythingincommon,doyouthink?
PETER:Itseemedtomewehadagreatdealincommon.
Werebothofusartists.
EDWARD:Ineverthoughtofthat.
Whatartsdoyoupractise?
PETER:Youwonthaveseenmynovel
Thoughithadsomeverygoodreviews.
Butitsmorethecinemathatinterestsbothofus.
EDWARD:Acommoninterestinthemovingpictures
Frequentlybringsyoungpeopletogether.
PETER:Nowyoureonlybeingsarcastic:
Celiawasinterestedintheartofthefilm.
EDWARD:Asapossibleprofession?
PETER:Shemightmakeitaprofession;
Thoughshehadherpoetry.
EDWARD:Yes,Iveseenherpoetry
InterestingifoneisinterestedinCelia.
Apart,ofcourse,fromitsliterarymerit
WhichIdontpretendtojudge.
PETER:Well,Icanjudgeit,
AndIthinkitsverygood.Butthatsnotthepoint.
Thepointis,Ithoughtwehadagreatdealincommon
AndIthinkshethoughtsotoo.
22
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:Howdidyoucometoknowher?
[Enteralex.]
ALEX:Ah,thereyouare,Edward!DoyouknowwhyIvelookedin?
EDWARD:Idliketoknowfirsthowyougotin,Alex.
ALEX:Why,Icameandfoundthatthedoorwasopen
AndsoIthoughtIdslipinandseeifanyonewaswithyou.
PETER:Juliamusthaveleftitopen.
EDWARD:Nevermind;
Solongasyoubothshutitwhenyougoout.
ALEX:Ah,butyourecomingwithme,Edward.
Ithought,Edwardmaybeallalonethisevening,
AndIknowthathehatestospendaneveningalone,
Soyouregoingtocomeoutandhavedinnerwithme.
EDWARD:Thatsverythoughtfulofyou,Alex,Imsure;
ButIratherwanttobealone,thisevening.
ALEX:Butyouvegottohavesomedinner.Areyougoingout?
Isthereanyoneheretogetdinnerforyou?
EDWARD:No,Ishantwantmuch,andIllgetitmyself.
ALEX:Ah,inthatcaseIknowwhatIlldo.
Imgoingtogiveyoualittlesurprise:
Youknow,Imratherafamouscook.
Imgoingstraighttoyourkitchennow
AndIshallprepareyouanicelittledinner
Whichyoucanhavealone.Andthenwellleaveyou.
Meanwhile,youandPetercangoontalking
AndIshantdisturbyou.
EDWARD:MydearAlex,
23
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Therellbenothinginthelarderworthyofyourcooking.
Icouldntthinkofit.
ALEX:Ah,butthatsmyspecialgift
Concoctingatoothsomemealoutofnothing.
Anyscrapsyouhavewilldo.IlearnedthatintheEast.
Withahandfulofriceandalittledriedfish
Icanmakehalfadozendishes.Dontsayaword.
Ishallbeginatonce.[Exittokitchen.]
EDWARD:Well,wheredidyouleaveoff?
PETER:YouaskedmehowIcametoknowCelia.
Imetherhere,aboutayearago.
EDWARD:AtoneofLaviniasamateurThursdays?
PETER:AThursday.Whydoyousayamateur?
EDWARD:Laviniasattemptsatstartingasalon.
WhereIentertainedtheminorguests
Anddealtwiththemisfits,Laviniasmistakes.
Butyouwereoneoftheminorsuccesses
Foratimeatleast.
PETER:Iwouldntsaythat.
ButLaviniawasawfullykindtome
AndIoweheragreatdeal.AndthenImetCelia.
ShewasdifferentfromanygirlIdeverknown
Andnoteasytotalkto,onthatoccasion.
EDWARD:Didyouseeheroften?
ALEXSVOICE:Edward,haveyouadoubleboiler?
EDWARD:Isupposetheremustbeadoubleboiler:
Isntthereoneineverykitchen?
24
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ALEXSVOICE:Icantfindit.
Theregoesthatsurprise.Imustthinkofanother.
PETER:Notveryoften.
AndwhenIdid,Igotnochancetotalktoher.
EDWARD:YouandCeliawereaskedfordifferentpurposes.
YourrolewastobeoneofLaviniasdiscoveries;
Celias,toprovidesocietyandfashion.
Laviniaalwayshadtheambition
Toestablishherselfintwoworldsatonce
Butsheherselfhadtobethelinkbetweenthem.
Thatiswhy,Ithink,herThursdayswereafailure.
PETER:Youspeakasifeverythingwasfinished.
EDWARD:Ohno,no,everythingisleftunfinished.
ButyouhaventtoldmehowyoucametoknowCelia.
PETER:Isawheragainafewdayslater
Aloneataconcert.AndIwasalone.
Iveahvaysgonetoconcertsalone
Atfirst,becauseIknewnoonetogowith,
Andlater,IfoundIpreferredtogoalone.
ButagirllikeCelia,itseemedverystrange,
BecauseIhadthoughtofhermerelyasaname
Inasocietycolumn,tofindhertherealone.
Anyway,wegotintoconversation
AndIfoundthatshewenttoconcertsalone
Andtolookatpictures.Soweoftenmet
Inthesameway,andsometimeswenttogether.
AndtobewithCelia,thatwassomethingdifferent
25
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Fromcompanyorsolitude.Andwesometimeshadtea
Andonceortwicedinedtogether.
EDWARD:Andafterthat
DidsheeverintroduceyoutoherfamilyOrtoanyofherfriends?
PETER:No,butonceortwiceshespokeofthem
Andabouttheirlackofintellectualinterests.
EDWARD:Andwhathappenedafterthat?
PETER:Oh,nothinghappened.
ButIthoughtthatshereallycaredaboutme.
AndIwassohappywhenweweretogether
So...contented,so...atpeace:Icantexpressit;
Ihadneverimaginedsuchquiethappiness.
Ihadonlyexperiencedexcitement,delirium,
Desireforpossession.Itwasnotlikethatatall.
Itwassomethingverystrange.Therewassuch...tranquillity...
EDWARD:Andwhatinterruptedthisinterestingaffair?
[Enteralexinshirtsleevesandanapron.]
ALEX:Edward,Icantfindanycurrypowder.
EDWARD:Thereisntanycurrypowder.Laviniahatescurry.
ALEX:Theregoesanothersurprise,then.Imustthink.
Ididntexpecttofindanymangoes,
ButIdidcountuponcurrypowder.[Exit.]
PETER:ThatisexactlywhatIwanttoknow.
Shehassimplyfadedintosomeotherpicture
Likeafilmeffect.Shedoesntwanttoseeme;
Makesexcuses,notveryplausible,
AndwhenIdoseeher,sheseemspreoccupied
26
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
WithsomesecretexcitementwhichIcannotshare.
EDWARD:Doyouthinkshehassimplylostinterestinyou?
PETER:Youputitjustwrong.Ithinkofitdifferently.
ItisnotherinterestinmethatImiss
Butthosemomentsinwhichweseemedtosharesomeperception,
Somefeeling,someindefinableexperience
Inwhichwewerebothunawareofourselves.
Inyourterms,perhaps,sheslostinterestinme.
EDWARD:Thatisallverynormal.Ifyoucouldonlyknow
Howluckyyouare.Inalittlewhile
Thismighthavebecomeanordinaryaffair
Likeanyother.Asthefevercooled
Youwouldhavefoundthatshewasanotherwoman
Andthatyouwereanotherman.Icongratulateyou
Onatimelyescape.
PETER:Ishouldprefertobespared
Yourcongratulations.Ihadtotalktosomeone.
AndIhavebeentellingyouofsomethingreal
Myfirstexperienceofreality
Andperhapsitisthelast.Andyoudontunderstand.
EDWARD:MydearPeter,Ihaveonlybeentellingyou
WhatwouldhavehappenedtoyouwithCelia
Inanothersixmonthstime.Thereitis.
Youcantakeitorleaveit.
PETER:ButwhatamItodo?
EDWARD:Nothing.Wait.GobacktoCalifornia.
PETER:ButImustseeCelia.
27
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:WillitbethesameCelia?
BetterbecontentwiththeCeliayouremember.
Remember!Isayitsalreadyamemory.
PETER:ButImustseeCeliaatleasttomakehertellme
Whathashappened,inherterms.UntilIknowthat
Ishantknowthetruthabouteventhememory.
Didwereallysharetheseinterests?Didwereallyfeelthesame
Whenweheardcertainmusic?Orlookedatcertainpictures?
Therewassomethingreal.Butwhatisthereality...
[Thetelephonerings.]
EDWARD:Excusemeamoment.
[Intotelephone]Hello!...Icanttalknow...
Yes,thereis...Wellthen,Illringyou
AssoonasIcan.
Imsorry.Youweresaying?
PETER:Iwassaying,whatisthereality
Ofexperiencebetweentwounrealpeople?
IfIcanonlyholdtothememory
Icanbearanyfuture.ButImustfindout
Thetruthaboutthepast,forthesakeofthememory.
EDWARD:Theresnomemoryyoucanwrapincamphor
Butthemothswillgetin.SoyouwanttoseeCelia.
IdontknowwhyIshouldbetakingallthistrouble
Toprotectyoufromthefoolyouare.
Whatdoyouwantmetodo?
PETER:SeeCeliaforme.
Youknowherinadifferentwayfromme
28
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Andyouaresomucholder.
EDWARD:Somucholder?
PETER:Yes,Imsurethatshewouldlistentoyou
Assomeonedisinterested.
EDWARD:Well,IwillseeCelia.
PETER:Thankyou,Edward.Itsverygoodofyou.
[Enteralex,withhisjacketon.]
ALEX:Oh,Edward!Ivepreparedyousuchatreat!
Ireallythinkthatofallmytriumphs
Thisisthegreatest.Tomakesomethingoutofnothing!
Never,evenwhentravellinginAlbania,
HaveImadesuchasupperoutofsofewmaterials
AsIfoundinyourrefrigerator.Butofcourse
Iwasluckytofindhalfadozeneggs.
EDWARD:What!Youusedallthoseeggs!Laviniasaunt
Hasjustsentthemfromthecountry.
ALEX:Ah,sotheaunt
Reallyexists.Asubstantialproof.
EDWARD:No,no...Imean,thisisanotheraunt.
ALEX:Iunderstand.Therealaunt.Butyoullbegrateful.
ThereareveryfewpeasantsinMontenegro
Whocanhavethedishthatyoullbeeating,nowadays.
EDWARD:Butwhataboutmybreakfast?
ALEX:Dontworryaboutbreakfast.
Allyoushouldwantisacupofblackcoffee
Andalittledrytoast.Iveleftitsimmering.
Dontleaveitlongerthananothertenminutes.
29
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
NowIllbegoing,andIlltakePeterwithme.
PETER:Edward,Ivetakentoomuchofyourtime,
Andyouwanttobealone.GivemylovetoLavinia
Whenshecomesback...but,ifyoudontmind,
IdratheryoudidnttellherwhatIvetoldyou.
EDWARD:IshallnotsayanythingaboutittoLavinia.
PETER:Thankyou,Edward.Goodnight.
EDWARD:Goodnight,Peter,
Andgoodnight,Alex.Oh,andifyoudontmind,
Pleaseshutthedoorafteryou,soitlatches.
ALEX:Remember,Edward,notmorethantenminutes,
Twentyminutes,andmyworkwillberuined.
[Exeuntalexandpeter.]
[edwardpicksupthetelephone,anddialsanumber.]
EDWARD:IsMissCeliaCoplestonein?...Howlongago?...
No,itdoesntmatter.
curtain
30
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Scene2
The same room a quarter of an hour later. edward is alone, playing Patience. The doorbell
rings, and he answers it.
CELIASVOICE:Areyoualone?
[edwardreturnswithcelia.]
EDWARD:Celia!Whyhaveyoucomeback?
IsaidIwouldtelephoneassoonasIcould:
AndItriedtogetyouashortwhileago.
CELIA:Iftherehadhappenedtobeanyonewithyou
IwasgoingtosayIdcomebackformyumbrella....
Imustsayyoudontseemverypleasedtoseeme.
Edward,Iunderstandwhathashappened
ButIcouldnotunderstandyourmanneronthetelephone.
Itdidnotseemlikeyou.SoIfeltImustseeyou.
Tellmeitsallright,andthenIllgo.
EDWARD:Buthowcanyousayyouunderstandwhathashappened?
Idontknowwhathashappened,orwhatisgoingtohappen;
Andtotrytounderstandit,Iwanttobealone.
CELIA:Ishouldhavethoughtitwasperfectlysimple.
Laviniahasleftyou.
EDWARD:Yes,thatwasthesituation.
Isupposeitwasprettyobvioustoeveryone.
CELIA:Itwasobviousthattheauntwasapureinvention
31
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Onthespurofthemoment,andnotaverygoodone.
Youshouldhavebeenpreparedwithsomethingbetter,forJulia;
Butitdoesntreallymatter.Theywillknowsoonenough.
Doesntthatsettleallourdifficulties?
EDWARD:Ithasonlybroughttolighttherealdifficulties.
CELIA:Butsurely,theseareonlytemporary.
YouknowIacceptedthesituation
Becauseadivorcewouldruinyourcareer;
AndwethoughtthatLaviniawouldneverwanttoleaveyou.
Surelyyoudontholdtothatsillyconvention
Thatthehusbandmustalwaysbetheonetobedivorced?
Andifshechoosestogiveyouthegrounds...
EDWARD:Isee.Butitisnotlikethatatall.
Laviniaiscomingback.
CELIA:Laviniacomingback!
Doyoumeantosaythatsheslaidatrapforus?
EDWARD:No.Ifthereisatrap,weareallinthetrap,
Wehavesetitforourselves.ButIdonotknow
Whatkindofatrapitis.
CELIA:Thenwhathashappened?
[Thetelephonerings.]
EDWARD:Damnthetelephone.IsupposeImustanswerit.
Hello...oh,hello!...No.Imeanyes,Alex;
Yes,ofcourse...itwasmarvellous.Ivenevertastedanythinglikeit...
Yes,thatsveryinteresting.ButIjustwondered
Whetheritmightntberatherindigestible?...
Oh,no,Alex,dontbringmeanycheese;Ivegotsomecheese...
32
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
No,notNorwegian;ButIdontreallywantcheese...
Slipperwhat?...Oh,fromJugoslavia...prunesandalcohol?
No,really,Alex,Idontwantanything.Imverytired.
Thanksawfully,Alex.Goodnight.
CELIA:Whatonearthwasthatabout?
EDWARD:ThatwasAlex.
CELIA:IknowitwasAlex.
Butwhatwashetalkingof?
EDWARD:Ihadquiteforgotten.
Hemadehiswayin,alittlewhileago,
Andinsistedoncookingmesomethingforsupper;
AndhesaidImusteatitwithintenminutes.
Isupposeitsstillcooking.
CELIA:Yousupposeitsstillcooking!
IthoughtInoticedapeculiarsmell:
Ofcourseitsstillcookingordoingsomething.
Imustgoandinvestigate.
[Startstoleavetheroom]
EDWARD:Forheavenssake,dontbother!
[Exitcelia.]
Supposesomeonecameandfoundyouinthekitchen?
[edwardgoesovertothetableandinspectshisgameofPatience.Hemovesacard.Thedoorbell
ringsrepeatedly.Reentercelia,inanapron.]
CELIA:Youdbetteranswerthedoor,Edward.
Itsthebestthingtodo.Dontloseyourhead.
Yousee,Ireallydidleavemyumbrella;
AndIllsayIfoundyouherestarvingandhelpless
33
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Andhadtodosomething.Anyway,Imstaying
AndImnotgoingtohide.
[Returnstokitchen.Thebellringsagain.]
EDWARD[Goestofrontdoor,andisheardtosay:]Julia!Whathaveyoucomebackfor?
[Enterjulia.]
JULIA:Ivehadaninspiration!
[Enterceliawithsaucepan.]
CELIA:Edward,itsruined!
EDWARD:Whatagoodthing.
CELIA:Butitsruinedthesaucepantoo.
EDWARD:Andhalfadozeneggs.
Iwantedoneforbreakfast.Aboiledegg.
ItstheonlythingIknowhowtocook.
JULIA:Celia!Iseeyouvehadthesameinspiration
ThatIhad.Edwardmustbefed.Hesundersuchastrain.
Wemustkeephisstrengthup.
Edward!Dontyourealizehowluckyyouare
TohavetwoGoodSamaritans?Ineverheardofthatbefore.
EDWARD:ThemanwhofellamongthieveswasluckierthanI:
Hewasleftataninn.
JULIA:Edward,howungrateful!
Whatsinthatsaucepan?
CELIA:Nobodyknows.
EDWARD:ItssomethingthatAlexcameandpreparedforme.
Hewoulddoit.ThreeGoodSamaritans.
Iforgotallaboutit.
JULIA:Butyoumustnttouchit.
34
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:OfcourseIshanttouchit.
JULIA:Mydear,Ishouldhavewarnedyou:
AnythingthatAlexmakesisabsolutelydeadly.
Icouldtellsuchtalesofhispoisoningpeople.
Now,mydear,yougivemethatapron
AndwellseewhatIcando.YoustayandtalktoEdward.
[Exitjulia.]
CELIA:Butwhathashappened,Edward?Whathashappened?
EDWARD:Laviniaiscomingback,Ithink.
CELIA:Youthink!dontyouknow?
EDWARD:No,butIbelieveit.Thatmanwhowashere
CELIA:Yes,whowasthatman?Iwasratherafraidofhim;
Hehassomesortofpower.
EDWARD:Idontknowwhoheis.
ButIhadsometalkwithhim,whentherestofyouhadleft,
AndhesaidhewouldbringLaviniaback,tomorrow.
CELIA:Butwhyshouldthatmanwanttobringherback
UnlessheistheDevil!Icouldbelievehewas.
EDWARD:BecauseIaskedhimto.
CELIA:Becauseyouaskedhimto!
ThenhemustbetheDevil!Hemusthavebewitchedyou.
Howdidhepersuadeyoutowantherback?
[Apoppingnoiseisheardfromthekitchen]
EDWARD:Whatthedevilsthat?
[Reenterjulia,inapron,withatrayandthreeglasses.]
JULIA:Ivehadaninspiration!
Theresnothingintheplacefittoeat:
35
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Ivelookedhighandlow.ButIfoundsomechampagne
Onlyahalfbottle,tobesure,
Andofcourseitisntchilled.Butitssorefreshing;
AndIthought,weareallinneedofastimulant
Afterthisdisaster.NowIllproposeahealth.
CanyouguesswhosehealthImgoingtopropose?
EDWARD:No,Icant.ButIwontdrinktoAlexs.
JULIA:Oh,itisntAlexs.Come,Igiveyou
Laviniasaunt!Youmighthaveguessedit.
EDWARDANDCELIA:Laviniasaunt.
JULIA:Now,thenextquestion
Is,whatstobedone.Thatsverysimple.
Itstoolate,ortooearly,togotoarestaurant.
Youmustbothcomehomewithme.
EDWARD:No,Imsorry,Julia.
Imtootiredtogoout,andImnotatallhungry.
Ishallhaveafewbiscuits.
JULIA:Butyou,Celia?
Youmustcomeandhavealightsupperwithme
Somethingverylight.
CELIA:Thankyou,Julia.
IthinkIwill,ifImayfollowyou
Inabouttenminutes?BeforeIgo,theressomething
IwanttosaytoEdward.
JULIA:AboutLavinia?
Well,comeonquickly.Andtakeataxi.
Youknow,yourelookingabsolutelyfamished.
36
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Goodnight,Edward.[ExitJULIA.]
CELIA:Well,howdidhepersuadeyou?
EDWARD:Howdidhepersuademe?Didhepersuademe?
Ihaveaveryclearimpression
Thathetriedtopersuademeitwasallforthebest
ThatLaviniahadgone;thatIoughttobethankful.
Andyet,theeffectofallhisargument
WastomakemeseethatIwantedherback.
CELIA:ThatstheDevilsmethod!SoyouwantLaviniaback!
Lavinia!Sotheonethingyoucareabout
Istoavoidabreakanythingunpleasant!
No,itcantbethat.Iwontthinkitsthat.
Ithinkitisjustamomentofsurrender
Tofatigue.Andpanic.Youcantfacethetrouble.
EDWARD:No,itisnotthat.Itisnotonlythat.
CELIA:Itcannotbesimplyaquestionofvanity:
Thatyouthinktheworldwilllaughatyou
Becauseyourwifehasleftyouforanotherman?
Ishallsoonputthatright,Edward,
Whenyouarefree.
EDWARD:No,itisnotthat.
Andallthesereasonsweresuggestedtome
BythemanIcallRileythoughhisnameisnotRiley;
Itwasjustanameinasonghesang...
CELIA:HesangyouasongaboutamannamedRiley!
Really,Edward,Ithinkyouaremad
Imean,youreontheedgeofanervousbreakdown.
37
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Edward,ifIgoawaynow
Willyoupromisemetoseeaverygreatdoctor
WhomIhaveheardofandhisnameisReilly!
EDWARD:Itwouldneedsomeonegreaterthanthegreatestdoctor
Tocurethisillness.
CELIA:Edward,ifIgonow,
Willyouassuremethateverythingisright,
ThatyoudonotmeantohaveLaviniaback
Andthatyoudomeantogainyourfreedom,
Andthateverythingisallrightbetweenus?
Thatsallthatmatters.Truly,Edward,
Ifthatisright,everythingelsewillbe,
Ipromiseyou.
EDWARD:No,Celia.
Ithasbeenverywonderful,andImverygrateful,
AndIthinkyouareaveryrareperson.
Butitwastoolate.AndIshouldhaveknown
Thatitwasntfairtoyou.
CELIA:Itwasntfairtome!
Youcanstandthereandtalkaboutbeingfairtome!
EDWARD:ButforLavinialeaving,thiswouldneverhavearisen.
Whatfuturehadyoueverthoughttherecouldbe?
CELIA:WhathadIthoughtthatthefuturecouldbe?
Iabandonedthefuturebeforewebegan,
AndafterthatIlivedinapresent
Wheretimewasmeaningless,aprivateworldofours,
Wherethewordhappinesshadadifferentmeaning
38
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Orsoitseemed.
EDWARD:Ihaveheardofthatexperience.
CELIA:Adream.Iwashappyinittilltoday,
Andthen,whenJuliaaskedaboutLavinia
AnditcametomethatLaviniahadleftyou
AndthatyouwouldbefreethenIsuddenlydiscovered
Thatthedreamwasnotenough;thatIwantedsomethingmore
AndIwaited,andwantedtoruntotellyou.
Perhapsthedreamwasbetter.Itseemedtherealreality,
Andifthisisreality,itisverylikeadream.
PerhapsitwasIwhobetrayedmyowndream
Allthewhile;andtofindIwanted
Thisworldaswellasthat...well,itshumiliating.
EDWARD:Thereisnoreasonwhyyoushouldfeelhumiliated...
CELIA:Oh,dontthinkthatyoucanhumiliateme!
HumiliationitssomethingIvedonetomyself.
Iamnotsureeventhatyouseemrealenough
Tohumiliateme.Isupposethatmostwomen
Wouldfeeldegradedtofindthataman
Withwhomtheythoughttheyhadsharedsomethingwonderful
Hadtakenthemonlyasapassingdiversion.
Oh,Idaresaythatyoudeceivedyourself;
Butthatswhatitwas,nodoubt.
EDWARD:Ididnttakeyouasapassingdiversion!
Ifyouwanttospeakofpassingdiversions
HowdidyoutakePeter?
CELIA:Peter?Peterwho?
39
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:PeterQuilpe,whowasherethisevening.Hewasinadream
Andnowheissimplyunhappyandbewildered.
CELIA:Isimplydontknowwhatyouaretalkingabout.
Edward,thisisreallytoocrudeasubterfuge
Tojustifyyourself.Therewasneveranything
BetweenmeandPeter.
EDWARD:Wasntthere?Hethoughtso.
Hecamebackthiseveningtotalktomeaboutit.
CELIA:Butthisisridiculous!InevergavePeter
AnyreasontosupposeIcaredforhim.
Ithoughthehadtalent;Isawthathewaslonely;
IthoughtthatIcouldhelphim.Itookhimtoconcerts.
Butthen,ashecametomakemoreacquaintances,
Ifoundhimlessinteresting,andratherconceited.
ButwhyshouldwetalkaboutPeter?Allthatmatters
Is,thatyouthinkyouwantLavinia.
Andifthatisthesortofpersonyouare
Well,youhadbetterhaveher.
EDWARD:Itsnotlikethat.
ItisnotthatIaminlovewithLavinia.
IdontthinkIwaseverreallyinlovewithher.
IfIhaveeverbeeninloveandIthinkthatIhave
Ihaveneverbeeninlovewithanyonebutyou,
AndperhapsIstillam.Butthiscantgoon.
Itnevercouldhavebeen...apermanentthing:
Youshouldhaveaman...neareryourownage.
CELIA:IdontthinkIcareforadvicefromyou,Edward.
40
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Youarenotentitledtotakeanyinterest
Now,inmyfuture.Ionlyhopeyourecompetent
Tomanageyourown.Butifyouarenotinlove
AndneverhavebeeninlovewithLavinia,
Whatisitthatyouwant?
EDWARD:Iamnotsure.
TheonethingofwhichIamrelativelycertain
Is,thatonlysincethismorning
Ihavemetmyselfasamiddleagedman
Beginningtoknowwhatitistofeelold.
Thatistheworstmoment,whenyoufeelthatyouhavelost
Thedesireforallthatwasmostdesirable.
Andbeforeyouarecontentedwithwhatyoucandesire;
Beforeyouknowwhatislefttobedesired;
Andyougoonwishingthatyoucoulddesire
Whatdesirehasleftbehind.Butyoucannotunderstand.
Howcouldyouunderstandwhatitistofeelold?
CELIA:ButIwanttounderstandyou.Icouldunderstand.
And,Edward,pleasebelievethatwhateverhappens
Ishallnotloatheyou.Ishallonlyfeelsorryforyou.
ItsonlymyselfIamindangerofhating.
Butwhatwillyourlifebe?Icannotbeartothinkofit.
Oh,Edward!CanyoubehappywithLavinia?
EDWARD:Nonothappy:or,ifthereisanyhappiness,
Onlythehappinessofknowing
Thatthemiserydoesnotfeedontheruinofloveliness,
Thatthetediumisnottheresidueofecstasy.
41
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Iseethatmylifewasdeterminedlongago
Andthatthestruggletoescapefromit
Isonlyamakebelieve,apretence
Thatwhatis,isnot,orcouldbechanged.
TheselfthatcansayIwantthisorwantthat
Theselfthatwillsheisafeeblecreature;
Hehastocometotermsintheend
Withtheobstinate,thetougherself;whodoesnotspeak,
Whonevertalks,whocannotargue;
Andwhoinsomemenmaybetheguardian
Butinmenlikeme,thedull,theimplacable,
Theindomitablespiritofmediocrity.
Thewillingselfcancontrivethedisaster
Ofthisunwillingpartnershipbutcanonlyflourish
Insubmissiontotheruleofthestrongerpartner.
CELIA:Iamnotsure,Edward,thatIunderstandyou;
AndyetIunderstandasIneverdidbefore.
IthinkIbelieveyouarebeingyourself
Asyouneverwerebefore,withme.
TwiceyouhavechangedsinceIhavebeenlookingatyou.
Ilookedatyourface:andIthoughtthatIknew
Andlovedeverycontour;andasIlooked
Itwithered,asifIhadunwrappedamummy.
Ilistenedtoyourvoice,thathadalwaysthrilledme,
Anditbecameanothervoiceno,notavoice:
WhatIheardwasonlythenoiseofaninsect,
Dry,endless,meaningless,inhuman
42
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Youmighthavemadeitbyscrapingyourlegstogether
Orhowevergrasshoppersdoit.Ilooked,
Andlistenedforyourheart,yourblood;
Andsawonlyabeetlethesizeofaman
Withnothingmoreinsideitthanwhatcomesout
Whenyoutreadonabeetle.
EDWARD:PerhapsthatiswhatIam.
Treadonme,ifyoulike.
CELIA:No,Iwonttreadonyou.
Thatisnotwhatyouare.Itisonlywhatwasleft
OfwhatIhadthoughtyouwere.Iseeanotherperson,
IseeyouasapersonwhomIneversawbefore.
ThemanIsawbefore,hewasonlyaprojection
IseethatnowofsomethingthatIwanted
No,notwantedsomethingIaspiredto
SomethingthatIdesperatelywantedtoexist.
Itmusthappensomewherebutwhat,andwhereisit?
AndIaskyoutoforgiveme.
EDWARD:You...askmetoforgiveyou!
CELIA:Yes,fortwothings.First...
[Thetelephonerings.]
EDWARD:Damnthetelephone.
IsupposeIhadbetteranswerit.
CELIA:Yes,betteranswerit.
EDWARD:Hello!...Oh,Julia:whatisitnow?
Yourspectaclesagain...wheredidyouleavethem?
Orhavewe...haveIgottohuntallover?
43
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Haveyoulookedinyourbag?...Well,dontsnapmyheadoff...
Youresure,inthekitchen?Besidethechampagnebottle?
Yourequitesure?...Verywell,holdonifyoulike;
We...Illlookforthem.
CELIA:Yes,youlookforthem.
Ishallnevergointoyourkitchenagain.
[Exitedward.Hereturnswiththespectaclesandabottle.]
EDWARD:Shewasrightforonce.
CELIA:Sheisalwaysright.
Butwhybringanemptychampagnebottle?
EDWARD:Itisntempty.Itmaybealittleflat
Butwhydidshesaythatitwasahalfbottle?
Itsoneofmybest:andIhavenohalfbottles.
Well,Ihopedthatyouwoulddrinkafinalglasswithme.
CELIA:Whatshouldwedrinkto?
EDWARD:Whomshallwedrinkto?
CELIA:TotheGuardians.
EDWARD:TotheGuardians?
CELIA:TotheGuardians.Itwasyouwhospokeofguardians.
[Theydrink.]
ItmaybethatevenJuliaisaguardian.
Perhapssheismyguardian.Givemethespectacles.
Goodnight,Edward.
EDWARD:Goodnight...Celia.
[ExitCELIA.]Oh!
[Hesnatchesupthereceiver.]
Hello,Julia!areyouthere?...
44
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Well,Imawfullysorrytohavekeptyouwaiting;
Butwe...Ihadtohuntforthem...No,Ifoundthem.
...Yes,shesbringingthemnow...Goodnight.
curtain
45
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Scene3
The same room: late afternoon of the next day. edward alone. He goes to the door.
EDWARD:Oh...goodevening.
[Entertheunidentifiedguest.]
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Goodevening,Mr.Chamberlayne.
EDWARD:Well.MayIofferyousomeginandwater?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:No,thankyou.Thisisadifferentoccasion.
EDWARD:Itakeitthatasyouhavecomealone
Youhavebeenunsuccessful.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Notatall.
Ihavecometoremindyouyouhavemadeadecision.
EDWARD:AreyouthinkingthatImayhavechangedmymind?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:No.Youwillnotbereadytochangeyourmind
Untilyourecoverfromhavingmadeadecision.
No.Ihavecometotellyouthatyouwillchangeyourmind,
Butthatitwillnotmatter.Itwillbetoolate.
EDWARD:Ihavehalfamindtochangemymindnow
ToshowyouthatIamfreetochangeit.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Youwillchangeyourmind,butyouarenotfree.
Yourmomentoffreedomwasyesterday.
Youmadeadecision.Yousetinmotion
Forcesinyourlifeandinthelivesofothers
Whichcannotbereversed.Thatisoneconsideration.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Andanotheristhis:itisaseriousmatter
Tobringsomeonebackfromthedead.
EDWARD:Fromthedead?
Thatfigureofspeechissomewhat...dramatic,
Asitwasonlyyesterdaythatmywifeleftme.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Ah,butwedietoeachotherdaily.
Whatweknowofotherpeople
Isonlyourmemoryofthemoments
Duringwhichweknewthem.Andtheyhavechangedsincethen.
Topretendthattheyandwearethesame
Isausefulandconvenientsocialconvention
Whichmustsometimesbebroken.
Wemustalsoremember
Thatateverymeetingwearemeetingastranger.
EDWARD:Soyouwantmetogreetmywifeasastranger?
Thatwillnotbeeasy.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Itisverydifficult.
Butitisperhapsstillmoredifficult
Tokeepupthepretencethatyouarenotstrangers.
Theaffectionateghosts:thegrandmother,
ThelivelybacheloruncleattheChristmasparty,
Thebelovednursemaidthosewhoenfolded
Yourchildhoodyearsincomfort,mirth,security
Iftheyreturned,woulditnotbeembarrassing?
Whatwouldyousaytothem,ortheytoyou
Afterthefirsttenminutes?Youwouldfinditdifficult
Totreatthemasstrangers,butstillmoredifficult
47
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Topretendthatyouwerenotstrangetoeachother.
EDWARD:Youcanhardlyexpectmetoobliterate
Thelastfiveyears.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Iaskyoutoforgetnothing.
Totrytoforgetistotrytoconceal.
EDWARD:TherearecertainlythingsIshouldliketoforget.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Andpersonsalso.Butyoumustnotforgetthem.
Youmustfacethemall,butmeetthemasstrangers.
EDWARD:ThenImyselfmustalsobeastranger.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Andtoyourselfaswell.Butremember,
Whenyouseeyourwife,youmustasknoquestions
Andgivenoexplanations.Ihavesaidthesametoher.
Dontstrangleeachotherwithknottedmemories.
NowIshallgo.
EDWARD:Stop!Willyoucomebackwithher?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:No,Ishallnotcomewithher.
EDWARD:Idontknowwhy,
ButIthinkIshouldlikeyoutobringheryourself.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Yes,Iknowyouwould.Andfordefinitereasons
WhichIamnotpreparedtoexplaintoyou
Imustaskyounottospeakofmetoher;
Andshewillnotmentionmetoyou.
EDWARD:Ipromise.
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Andnowyoumustawaityourvisitors.
EDWARD:Visitors?Whatvisitors?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Whoevercomes.Thestrangers.
Asformyself,Ishalltaketheprecaution
48
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Ofleavingbytheservicestaircase.
EDWARD:MayIaskonequestion?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Youmayaskit.
EDWARD:Whoareyou?
UNIDENTIFIEDGUEST:Ialsoamastranger.
[Exit.Apause.edwardmovesaboutrestlessly.Thebellrings,andhegoestothefrontdoor.]
EDWARD:Celia!
CELIA:HasLaviniaarrived?
EDWARD:Celia!Whyhaveyoucome?
IexpectLaviniaatanymoment.
Youmustnotbehere.Whyhaveyoucomehere?
CELIA:BecauseLaviniaaskedme.
EDWARD:BecauseLaviniaaskedyou!
CELIA:Well,notdirectly.Juliahadatelegram
Askinghertocome,andtobringmewithher.
Juliawasdelayed,andsentmeonahead.
EDWARD:Itseemsveryodd.AndnotlikeLavinia.
Isupposethereisnothingtodobutwait.
Wontyousitdown?
CELIA:Thankyou.
[Pause]
EDWARD:Oh,myGod,whatshallwetalkabout?
Wecantsithereinsilence.
CELIA:Oh,Icould.
Justlookingatyou.Edward,forgivemylaughing.
Youlooklikealittleboywhosbeensentfor
Totheheadmastersstudy;andisnotquitesure
49
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Whathesbeenfoundoutin.Ineversawyousobefore.
Thisisreallyaludicroussituation.
EDWARD:ImafraidIcantseethehumoroussideofit.
CELIA:Imnotreallylaughingatyou,Edward.
Icouldnthavelaughedatanything,yesterday;
ButIvelearntalotintwentyfourhours.
Itwasntaverypleasantexperience.
Oh,ImgladIcame!
Icanseeyouatlastasahumanbeing.
Cantyouseemethatwaytoo,andlaughaboutit?
EDWARD:IwishIcould.IwishIunderstoodanything.
Imcompletelyinthedark.
CELIA:Butitsallsosimple.
Cantyouseethat...
[Thedoorbellrings.]
EDWARD:TheresLavinia.
[Goestofrontdoor]
Peter!
[Enterpeter.]
PETER:WheresLavinia?
EDWARD:DonttellmethatLavinia
Sentyouatelegram...
PETER:No,nottome,
ButtoAlex.Shetoldhimtocomehere
Andtobringmewithhim.Hellbehereinaminute.
Celia!HaveyouheardfromLaviniatoo?
OramIinterrupting?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
CELIA:IvejustexplainedtoEdward
Ionlygotherethismomentmyself
ThatshetelegraphedtoJuliatocomeandbringmewithher.
EDWARD:IwonderwhomelseLaviniahasinvited.
PETER:Why,IgottheimpressionthatLaviniaintended
Tohaveyesterdayscocktailpartytoday.
SoIdontsupposeherauntcanhavedied.
EDWARD:Whataunt?
PETER:Theauntyoutoldusabout.
ButEdwardyourememberourconversationyesterday?
EDWARD:Ofcourse.
PETER:Ihopeyouvedonenothingaboutit.
EDWARD:No,Ivedonenothing.
PETER:Imsoglad.
BecauseIvechangedmymind.Imean,Ivedecided
Thatitsallnouse.ImgoingtoCalifornia.
CELIA:YouregoingtoCalifornia!
PETER:Yes,Ihaveanewjob.
EDWARD:Andhowdidthathappen,overnight?
PETER:Why,itsamanAlexputmeintouchwith
Andwesettledeverythingthismorning.
Alexisawonderfulpersontoknow,
Because,yousee,heknowseverybody,everywhere.
SowhatIvereallycomeforistosaygoodbye.
CELIA:Well,Peter,Imawfullyglad,foryoursake,
Thoughofcoursewe...Ishallmissyou;
YouknowhowIdependedonyouforconcerts,
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Andpictureexhibitionsmorethanyourealised.
Itwasfun,wasntit!Butnowyoullhaveachance,
Ihope,torealiseyourambitions.
Ishallmissyou.
PETER;Itsniceofyoutosayso;
Butyoullfindsomeonebetter,togoaboutwith.
CELIA:IdontthinkthatIshallbegoingtoconcerts.
Iamgoingawaytoo.
[lavinialetsherselfinwithalatchkey.]
PETER:Youregoingabroad?
CELIA:Idontknow.Perhaps.
EDWARD:Yourebothgoingaway!
[Enterlavinia.]
LAVINIA:Whosgoingaway?Well,Celia.Well,Peter.
Ididntexpecttofindeitherofyouhere.
PETERandCELIA:Butthetelegram!
LAVINIA:Whattelegram?
CELIA:TheoneyousenttoJulia.
PETER:AndtheoneyousenttoAlex.
LAVINIA:Idontknowwhatyoumean.
Edward,haveyoubeensendingtelegrams?
EDWARD:OfcourseIhaventsentanytelegrams.
LAVINIA:ThisissomeofJuliasmischief.
Andisshecoming?
PETER:Yes,andAlex.
LAVINIA:ThenIshallaskthemforanexplanation.
Meanwhile,Isupposewemightaswellsitdown.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Whatshallwetalkabout?
EDWARD:PetersgoingtoAmerica.
PETER:Yes,andIwouldhaverungyouuptomorrow
AndcomeintosaygoodbyebeforeIleft.
LAVINIA:AndCeliasgoingtoo?WasthatwhatIheard?
Icongratulateyouboth.ToHollywood,ofcourse?
Howexcitingforyou,Celia!Nowyoullhaveachance
Atlast,torealiseyourambitions.
Youregoingtogether?
PETER:Werenotgoingtogether.
Celiatoldusshewasgoingaway,
ButIdontknowwhere.
LAVINIA:Youdontknowwhere?
Anddoyouknowwhereyouaregoing,yourself?
PETER:Yes,ofcourse,ImgoingtoCalifornia.
LAVINIA:Well,Celia,whydontyougotoCalifornia?
Everyonesaysitsawonderfulclimate:
Thepeoplewhogothereneverwanttoleaveit.
CELIA:Lavinia,IthinkIunderstandaboutPeter...
LAVINIA:Ihavenodoubtyoudo.
CELIA:Andwhyheisgoing...
LAVINIA:Idontdoubtthateither.
CELIA:AndIbelieveheisrighttogo.
LAVINIA:Oh,soyouadvisedhim?
PETER:Sheknewnothingaboutit.
CELIA:ButnowthatImaybegoingawaysomewhere
Ishouldliketosaygoodbyeasfriends.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
LAVINIA:Why,Celia,buthaventwealwaysbeenfriends?
Ithoughtyouwereoneofmydearestfriends
Atleast,insofarasagirlcanbeafriend
Ofawomansomucholderthanherself.
CELIA:Lavinia,
Dontputmeoff.Imaynotseeyouagain.
WhatIwanttosayisthis:Ishouldlikeyoutorememberme
AssomeonewhowantsyouandEdwardtobehappy.
LAVINIA:Youareverykind,butverymysterious.
Imsurethatweshallmanagesomehow,thankyou,
Aswehaveinthepast.
CELIA:Oh,notasinthepast!
[Thedoorbellrings,andedwardgoestoanswerit.]
Oh,Imafraidthatallthissoundsrathersilly!
But...
[edwardreenterswithjulia.]
JULIA:Thereyouare,Lavinia!Imsorrytobelate,
Butyourtelegramwasabitunexpected.
Idroppedeverythingtocome.Andhowisthedearaunt?
LAVINIA:SofarasIknow,sheisverywell,thankyou.
JULIA:Shemusthavemadeamarvellousrecovery.
Isaidsotomyself,whenIgotyourtelegram.
LAVINIA:Butwhere,mayIask,wasthistelegramsentfrom?
JULIA:Why,fromEssex,ofcourse.
LAVINIA:AndwhyfromEssex?
JULIA:BecauseyouvebeeninEssex.
LAVINIA:BecauseIvebeeninEssex!
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
JULIA:Lavinia!Dontsayyouvehadalapseofmemory!
Thenthataccountsfortheauntandthetelegram.
LAVINIA:Well,perhapsIwasinEssex.Ireallydontknow.
JULIA:Youdontknowwhereyouwere?Lavinia!
Donttellmeyouwereabducted!Tellus;
Imthrilled...
[Thedoorbellrings.edwardgoestoanswerit.Enteralex.]
ALEX:HasLaviniaarrived?
EDWARD:Yes.
ALEX:Welcomeback,Lavinia!
WhenIgotyourtelegram...
LAVINIA:Wherefrom?
ALEX:Dedham.
LAVINIA:DedhamisinEssex.SoitwasfromDedham.
Edward,haveyouanyfriendsinDedham?
EDWARD:No,IhavenoconnectionsinDedham.
JULIA:Well,itsalldelightfullymysterious,
ALEX:Butwhatisthemystery?
JULIA:Alex,dontbeinquisitive.
Laviniahashadalapseofmemory,
Andso,ofcourse,shesentustelegrams:
AndnowIdontbelieveshereallywantsus.
Icanseethatsheisquitewornout
Afterheranxietyaboutheraunt
Whoyoullbegladtohear,hasquiterecovered,Alex
AndafterthatlongjourneyontheoldGreatEastern,
Waitingatjunctions.AndIsupposeshesfamished.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ALEX:Ah,inthatcaseIknowwhatIlldo...
JULIA:No,Alex.
Wemustleavethemalone,andletLaviniarest.
Nowwellallgobacktomyhouse.Peter,callataxi.
[Exitpeter.]
Wellhaveacocktailpartyatmyhousetoday.
CELIA:Well,Illgonow.Goodbye,Lavinia.
Goodbye,Edward.
EDWARD:Goodbye,Celia.
CELIA:Goodbye,Lavinia.
LAVINIA:Goodbye,Celia.[ExitCELIA.]
JULIA:Andnow,Alex,youandIshouldbegoing.
EDWARD:Areyousureyouhaventleftanything,Julia?
JULIA:Leftanything?Oh,youmeanmyspectacles.
No,theyrehere.Besides,theyrenousetome.
Imnotcomingbackagainthisevening.
LAVINIA:Stop!Iwantyoutoexplainthetelegram.
JULIA:Explainthetelegram?Whatdoyouthink,Alex?
ALEX:No,Julia,wecantexplainthetelegram.
LAVINIA:Iamsurethatyoucouldexplainthetelegram.
Idontknowwhy.Butitseemstomethatyesterday
Istartedsomemachine,thatgoesonworking,
AndIcannotstopit;no,itsnotlikeamachine
Orifitsamachine,someoneelseisrunningit.
Butwho?Somebodyisalwaysinterfering...
Idontfeelfree...andyetIstartedit...
JULIA:Alex,doyouthinkwecouldexplainanything?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ALEX:Ithinknot,Julia.Shemustfindoutforherself:
Thatstheonlyway.
JULIA:Howrightyouare!
Well,mydears,Ishallseeyouverysoon.
EDWARD:Whenshallweseeyou?
JULIA:DidIsayyoudseeme?
Goodbye.Ibelieve...Ihaventleftanything.
[Enterpeter.]
PETER:Ivegotataxi,Julia.
JULIA:Splendid!Goodbye!
[Exeuntjulia,alexandpeter.]
LAVINIA:Imustsay,youdontseemverypleasedtoseeme.
EDWARD:IcantsaythatIvehadmuchopportunity
Toseemanything.ButofcourseImgladtoseeyou.
LAVINIA:Yes,thatwasasillythingtosay.
Likeaschoolgirl.LikeCelia.IdontknowwhyIsaidit.
Well,hereIam.
EDWARD:Iamtoasknoquestions.
LAVINIA:AndIknowIamtogivenoexplanations.
EDWARD:AndIamtogivenoexplanations.
LAVINIA:AndIamtoasknoquestions.Andyet...whynot?
EDWARD:Idontknowwhynot.Sowhatarewetotalkabout?
LAVINIA:ThereisonethingIoughttoknow,becauseofotherpeople
Andwhattodoaboutthem.Itsaboutthatparty.
IsupposeyouwontbelieveIforgotallaboutit!
Iletyoudownbadly.Whatdidyoudoaboutit?
IonlyrememberedafterIhadleft.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:ItelephonedtoeveryoneIknewwascoming
ButIcouldntgeteveryone.Andsoafewcame.
LAVINIA:Whocame?
EDWARD:Justthosewhowereherethisevening...
LAVINIA:Thatsodd.
EDWARD:...andoneother.Idontknowwhohewas,
Butyououghttoknow.
LAVINIA:Yes,IthinkIknow.
ButImpuzzledbyJulia.Thatwomanisthedevil.
Sheknowsbyinstinctwhensomethingsgoingtohappen.
Trusthernottomissanyawkwardsituation!
Andwhatdidyoutellthem!
EDWARD:Iinventedanaunt
Whowasillinthecountry,andhadsentforyou.
LAVINIA:Really,Edward!Youhadbetterhavetoldthetruth:
NothinglessthanthetruthcoulddeceiveJulia.
ButhowdidtheauntcometoliveinEssex?
EDWARD:Juliacompelledmetomakeherlivesomewhere.
LAVINIA:Isee.SoJuliamadeherliveinEssex;
AndmadethetelegramscomefromEssex.
Well,IshallhavetotellJuliathetruth.
Ishallalwaystellthetruthnow.
Wehavewastedsuchalotoftimeinlying.
EDWARD:Idontquiteknowwhatyoumean.
LAVINIA:Oh,Edward!
Thepointis,thatsinceIvebeenaway
IseethatIvetakenyoumuchtooseriously.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
AndnowIcanseehowabsurdyouare.
EDWARD:Thatisaveryseriousconclusion
Tohavearrivedatin...howmany?...thirtytwohours.
LAVINIA:Yes,averyimportantdiscovery.
Findingthatyouvespentfiveyearsofyourlife
Withamanwhohasnosenseofhumour;
Andthattheeffectuponmewas
ThatIlostallsenseofhumourmyself.
Thatswhatcameofalwaysgivingintoyou.
EDWARD:Iwasunawarethatyoudalwaysgivenintome.
Itstruckmeverydifferently.Aswereonthesubject,
IthoughtthatitwasIwhohadgivenintoyou.
LAVINIA:Iknowwhatyoumeanbygivingintome:
Youmean,leavingallthepracticaldecisions
Thatyoushouldhavemadeyourself.Iremember
On,Ioughttohaverealisedwhatwascoming
Whenwewereplanningourhoneymoon,
Icouldntmakeyousaywhereyouwantedtogo...
EDWARD:ButIwantedyoutomakethatdecision.
LAVINIA:ButhowcouldItellwhereIwantedtogo
Unlessyousuggestedsomeotherplacefirst?
AndIrememberthatfinallyindesperation
Isaid:IsupposeyoudassoongotoPeacehaven
AndyousaidIdontmind.
EDWARD:OfcourseIdidntmind.
Imeantitasacompliment.
LAVINIA:Youmeantitasacompliment!
59
TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:Itsjustthatwayoftakingthingsthatmakesyousoexasperating.
LAVINIA:Youweresoconsiderate,peoplesaid;
Andyouthoughtyouwereunselfish.Itwasonlypassivity;
Youonlywantedtobebolstered,encouraged...
EDWARD:Encouraged?Towhat?
LAVINIA:Tothinkwellofyourself.
YouknowitwasIwhomadeyouworkattheBar...
EDWARD:YounaggedmebecauseIdidntgetenoughwork
AndsaidthatIoughttomeetmorepeople:
Butwhenthebriefsbegantocomein
Andtheydidntcomethroughanyofyourfriends
Yousuddenlyfounditinconvenient
ThatIshouldbealwaystoobusyortootired
Tobeofusetoyousocially...
LAVINIA:Inevercomplained.
EDWARD:No;anditwasperfectlyinfuriating,
Thewayyoudidntcomplain...
LAVINIA:Itwasyouwhocomplained
Ofseeingnobodybutsolicitorsandclients...
EDWARD:Andyouwereneververysympathetic.
LAVINIA:Well,butItriedtodosomethingaboutit.
ThatwaswhyItooksomuchtrouble
TohavethoseThursdays,togiveyouthechance
Oftalkingtointellectualpeople...
EDWARD:Youwouldhavegivenmeaboutasmuchopportunity
Ifyouhadhiredmeasyourbutler:
SomeofyourguestsmayhavethoughtIwasthebutler.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
LAVINIA:Andonseveraloccasions,whensomebodywascoming
WhomIparticularlywantedyoutomeet,
Youdidntarriveuntiljustastheywereleaving.
EDWARD:Well,atleast,theycanthavethoughtIwasthebutler.
LAVINIA:EverythingItriedonlymademattersworse,
Andthemomentyouwereofferedsomethingthatyouwanted
Youwantedsomethingelse.Ishalltreatyouverydifferently
Infuture.
EDWARD:Thankyouforthewarning.Buttellme,
Sincethisishowyouseeme,whydidyoucomeback?
LAVINIA:Frankly,Idontknow.Iwaswarnedofthedanger,
Yetsomething,orsomebody,compelledmetocome.
Andwhydidyouwantme?
EDWARD:Idontknoweither.
Yousayyouweretryingtoencourageme:
Thenwhydidyoualwaysmakemefeelinsignificant?
ImaynothaveknownwhatlifeIwanted,
Butitwasntthelifeyouchoseforme.
Youwantedyourhusbandtobesuccessful,
Youwantedmetosupplyapublicbackground
Foryourkindofpubliclife.Youwishedtobeahostess
Forwhommycareerwouldbeasupport.
Well,Itriedtobeaccommodating.Butinfuture,
Ishallbehave,Iassureyou,verydifferently.
LAVINIA:Bravo!Thisissurprising.
Nowwhocouldhavetaughtyoutoanswerbacklikethat?
EDWARD:Ihavehadquiteenoughhumiliation
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Lately,tobringmetothepoint
Atwhichhumiliationceasestohumiliate.
Yougettothepointatwhichyouceasetofeel
Andthenyouspeakyourmind.
LAVINIA:Thatwillbeanovelty
Tofindthatyouhaveamindtospeak.
Anyway,Impreparedtotakeyouasyouare.
EDWARD:Youmean,youarepreparedtotakeme
AsIwas,orasyouthinkIam.
ButwhatdoyouthinkIam?
LAVINIA:Oh,whatyoualwayswere.
Asforme,Imratheradifferentperson
Whomyoumustgettoknow.
EDWARD:Thisisveryinteresting:
Butyouseemtoassumethatyouvedoneallthechanging
ThoughIhaventyetfounditachangeforthebetter.
Butdoesntitoccurtoyouthatpossibly
Imayhavechangedtoo?
LAVINIA:Oh,Edward,whenyouwerealittleboy,
Imsureyouwerealwaysgettingyourselfmeasured
Toprovehowyouhadgrownsincethelastholidays.
Youwerealwaysintenselyconcernedwithyourself;
Andifotherpeoplegrow,well,youwanttogrowtoo.
Inwhatwayhaveyouchanged?
EDWARD:Thechangethatcomes
Fromseeingoneselfthroughtheeyesofotherpeople.
LAVINIA:Thatmusthavebeenveryshatteringforyou.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Butnevermind,youllsoongetoverit
Andfindyourselfanotherlittleparttoplay,
Withanotherface,totakepeoplein.
EDWARD:Oneofthemostinfuriatingthingsaboutyou
Hasalwaysbeenyourperfectassurance
ThatyouunderstoodmebetterthanIunderstoodmyself.
LAVINIA:Andthemostinfuriatingthingaboutyou
Hasalwaysbeenyourplacidassumption
ThatIwasntworththetroubleofunderstanding.
EDWARD:Sohereweareagain.Backinthetrap,
Withonlyonedifference,perhapswecanfighteachother,
Insteadofeachtakinghiscornerofthecage.
Well,itsabetterwayofpassingtheevening
Thanlisteningtothegramophone.
LAVINIA:Wehaveverygoodrecords;
ButIalwayssuspectedthatyoureallyhatedmusic
Andthatthegramophonewasonlyyourescape
Fromtalkingtomewhenwehadtobealone.
EDWARD:Iveoftenwonderedwhyyoumarriedme.
LAVINIA:Well,youreallywereratherattractive,youknow;
Andyoukeptonsayingthatyouwereinlovewithme
Ibelieveyouweretryingtopersuadeyourselfyouwere.
Iseemedalwaysonthevergeofsomewonderfulexperience
Andthenitneverhappened.Iwondernow
Howyoucouldhavethoughtyouwereinlovewithme.
EDWARD:EverybodytoldmethatIwas;
Andtheytoldmehowwellsuitedwewere.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
LAVINIA:Itsapityyouhadnoopinionofyourown.
Oh,Edward,Ishouldliketobegoodtoyou
Orifthatsimpossible,atleastbehorridtoyou
Anythingbutnothing,whichisallyouseemtowantofme.
ButImsorryforyou...
EDWARD:Dontsayyouaresorryforme!
Ihavehadenoughofpeoplebeingsorryforme.
LAVINIA:Yes,becausetheycanneverbesosorryforyou
Asyouareforyourself.Andthatshardtobear.
Ithoughtthattheremightbesomewayoutforyou
IfIwentaway.IthoughtthatifIdied
Toyou,Iwhohadbeenonlyaghosttoyou,
Youmightbeabletofindtheroadback
Toatimewhenyouwererealforyoumusthavebeenreal
Atsometimeorother,beforeyoueverknewme.
Perhapsonlywhenyouwereachild.
EDWARD:Idontwantyoutomakeyourselfresponsibleforme:
Itsonlyanotherkindofcontempt.
AndIdonotwantyoutoexplainmetomyself.
Yourestilltryingtoinventapersonalityforme
Whichwillonlykeepmeawayfrommyself.
LAVINIA:Yourecomplicatingwhatisinfactverysimple.
ButthereisonepointwhichIseeclearly:
Wearenottorelapseintothekindoflifeweled
Untilyesterdaymorning.
EDWARD:Therewasadoor
AndIcouldnotopenit.Icouldnottouchthehandle.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
WhycouldInotwalkoutofmyprison?
Whatishell?Hellisoneself,
Hellisalone,theotherfiguresinit
Merelyprojections.Thereisnothingtoescapefrom
Andnothingtoescapeto.Oneisalwaysalone.
LAVINIA:Edward,whatareyoutalkingabout?
Talkingtoyourself.Couldyoubear,foramoment,
Tothinkaboutme?
EDWARD:Itwasonlyyesterday
Thatdamnationtookplace.AndnowImustlivewithit
Daybyday,hourbyhour,foreverandever.
LAVINIA:Ithinkyoureontheedgeofanervousbreakdown!
EDWARD:Dontsaythat!
LAVINIA:Imustsayit.
Iknow...ofadoctorwhoIthinkcouldhelpyou.
EDWARD:IfIgotoadoctor,Ishallmakemyownchoice;
Nottakeonewhomyouchoose.HowdoIknow
Thatyouwouldntseehimfirst,andtellhimallaboutme
Fromyourpointofview?ButIdontneedadoctor.
Iamsimplyinhell.Wheretherearenodoctors
Atleast,notinaprofessionalcapacity.
LAVINIA:Onecanbepractical,eveninhell:
AndyouknowIammuchmorepracticalthanyouare.
EDWARD:Ioughttoknowbynowwhatyouconsiderpractical.
Practical!Iremember,onourhoneymoon,
Youwerealwayswrappingthingsupintissuepaper
Andthenhadtounwrapeverythingagain
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Tofindwhatyouwanted.AndInevercouldteachyou
Howtoputthecaponatubeoftoothpaste.
LAVINIA:Verywellthen,Ishallnottrytopressyou.
Youremuchtoodividedtoknowwhatyouwant.
But,beingdivided,youwilltendtocompromise,
Andyoursortofcompromisewillbetheoldone.
EDWARD:Youdontunderstandme.HaveInotmadeitclear
Thatinfutureyouwillfindmeadifferentperson?
LAVINIA:Indeed.Andhasthedifferencenothingtodo
WithCeliagoingofftoCalifornia?
EDWARD:Celia?GoingtoCalifornia?
LAVINIA:Yes,withPeter.
Really,Edward,ifyouwerehuman
Youwouldburstoutlaughing.Butyouwont.
EDWARD:OGod,OGod,ifIcouldreturntoyesterday
BeforeIthoughtthatIhadmadeadecision.
Whatdevilleftthedooronthelatch
Forthesedoubtstoenter?Andthenyoucameback,you
TheangelofdestructionjustasIfeltsure.
Inamoment,atyourtouch,thereisnothingbutruin.
OGod,whathaveIdone?Thepython.Theoctopus.
MustIbecomeafterallwhatyouwouldmakeme?
LAVINIA:Well,Edward,asIamunabletomakeyoulaugh,
AndasIcantpersuadeyoutoseeadoctor,
TheresnothingelseatpresentthatIcandoaboutit.
Ioughttogoandhavealookinthekitchen.
Iknowtherearesomeeggs.Butwemustgooutfordinner.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Meanwhile,myluggageisinthehalldownstairs:
Willyougettheportertofetchitupforme?
curtain
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ActTwo
sir henry harcourt-reillys consulting room in London. Morning: several weeks later. sir henry
alone at his desk. He presses an electric button. The nurse-secretary enters, with Appointment
Book.
REILLY:Aboutthosethreeappointmentsthismorning,MissBarraway:
Ishouldliketorunovermyinstructionsagain.
Youunderstand,ofcourse,thatitisimportant
Toavoidanymeeting?
NURSESECRETARY:Youmadethatclear,SirHenry:
Thefirstappointmentatelevenoclock.
Heistobeshownintothesmallwaitingroom;
Andyouwillseehimalmostatonce.
REILLY:Ishallseehimatonce.Andthesecond?
NURSESECRETARY:Thesecondtobeshownintotheotherroom
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Justasusual.Shearrivesataquarterpast;
Butyoumaykeepherwaiting.
REILLY:Orshemaykeepmewaiting;
ButIthinkshewillbepunctual.
NURSESECRETARY:Itelephonethrough
Themomentshearrives.Ileaveherthere
Untilyouringthreetimes.
REILLY:Andthethirdpatient?
NURSESECRETARY:Thethirdonetobeshownintothesmallroom;
AndIneednotletyouknowthatshehasarrived.
Then,whenyouring,Ishowtheothersout;
Andonlyaftertheyhaveleftthehouse...
REILLY:Quiteright,MissBarraway.Thatsallforthemoment,
NURSESECRETARY:Mr.Gibbsishere,SirHenry.
REILLY:Askhimtocomestraightin.
[Exitnursesecretary.]
[alexentersalmostimmediately.]
ALEX:WhenisChamberlaynesappointment?
REILLY:Atelevenoclock,
Theconventionalhour.Wehavenotmuchtime.
Tellmenow,didyouhaveanydifficulty
InconvincinghimIwasthemanforhiscase?
ALEX:Difficulty?No!Hewasonlyimpatient
Athavingtowaitfourdaysfortheappointment.
REILLY:Itwasnecessarytodelayhisappointment
Tolowerhisresistance.ButwhatImeanis,
Doeshetrustyourjudgment?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ALEX:Yes,implicitly.
Itsnotthatheregardsmeasveryintelligent,
ButhethinksImwellinformed:thesortofperson
Whowouldknowtherightdoctor,aswellastherightshops.
Besides,hewasreadytoconsultanydoctor
Recommendedbyanyoneexcepthiswife.
REILLY:Ihadalreadyimpresseduponher
Thatshewasnottomentionmynametohim.
ALEX:Withyourusualforesight.Now,hesquitetriumphant
Becausehethinkshesstolenamarchonher.
Andwhenyouvesenthimtoasanatorium
Whereshecantgetathimthen,hebelieves,
Shewillbeverypenitent.Hesenjoyinghisillness.
REILLY:Illnessoffershimadoubleadvantage:
Toescapefromhimselfandgetthebetterofhiswife.
ALEX:Nottoescapefromher?
REILLY:Hedoesntwanttoescapefromher.
ALEX:Heisstayingathisclub.
REILLY:Yes,thatiswherehewrotefrom.
[Thehousetelephonerings.]
Hello!yes,showhimup.
ALEX:Youwillhaveabusymorning!
Iwillgooutbytheservicestaircase
Andcomebackwhentheyvegone.
REILLY:Yes,whentheyvegone.
[Exitalexbysidedoor.]
[edwardisshowninbynursesecretary.]
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:SirHarcourtReilly
[Stopsandstaresatreilly]
REILLY:[Withoutlookingupfromhispapers.]Goodmorning,Mr.Chamberlayne.
Pleasesitdown.Iwontkeepyouamoment.
Now,Mr.Chamberlayne?
EDWARD:Itcameintomymind
BeforeIenteredthedoor,thatyoumightbethesameperson:
AndIdismissedthatasjustanothersymptom.
Well,Ishouldhaveknownbetterthantocomehere
Ontherecommendationofamanwhodidnotknowyou.
ButAlexissoplausible.Andhisrecommendations
Ofshopshavealwaysbeensatisfactory.
Ibegyourpardon.Butheisablunderer.
Ishouldliketoknow...butwhatistheuse!
IsupposeImightaswellgoawayatonce.
REILLY:No.Ifyouplease,sitdown,Mr.Chamberlayne.
Youarenotgoingaway,soyoumightaswellsitdown.
Youweregoingtoaskaquestion.
EDWARD:Whenyoucametomyflat
Hadyoubeeninvitedbymywifeasaguest
AsIsupposed?...Ordidshesendyou?
REILLY:IcannotsaythatIhadbeeninvited,
AndMrs.ChamberlaynedidnotknowthatIwascoming.
ButIknewyouwouldbethere,andwhomIshouldfindwithyou.
EDWARD:Butyouhadseenmywife?
REILLY:Ohyes,Ihadseenher.
EDWARD:Sothisisatrap!
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
REILLY:Letsnotcallitatrap.
Butifitisatrap,thenyoucannotescapefromit:
Andso...youmightaswellsitdown.
Ithinkyouwillfindthatchaircomfortable.
EDWARD:Youknew,
BeforeIbegantotellyou,whathadhappened?
REILLY:Thatisso,thatisso.Butallingoodtime.
Letusdismissthatquestionforthemoment.
Tellmefirst,aboutthedifficulties
Onwhichyouwantmyprofessionalopinion.
EDWARD:Itsnotformetoblameyouforbringingmywifeback,
Isuppose.Youseemedtobetryingtopersuademe
ThatIwasbetteroffwithouther.Butdidntyourealise
ThatIwasinnostatetomakeadecision?
REILLY:IfIhadnotbroughtyourwifeback,Mr.Chamberlayne,
Doyousupposethatthingswouldbeanybetternow?
EDWARD:Idontknow,Imsure.Theycouldhardlybeworse.
REILLY:Theymightbemuchworse.Youmighthaveruinedthreelives
Byyourindecision.Nowthereareonlytwo
Whichyoustillhavethechanceofredeemingfromruin.
EDWARD:YoutalkasifIwascapableofaction:
IfIwere,Ishouldnotneedtoconsultyou
Oranyoneelse.Icamehereasapatient.
Ifyoutakenointerestinmycase,Icangoelsewhere.
REILLY:Youhavereasontobelievethatyouareveryill?
EDWARD:Ishouldhavethoughtadoctorcouldseethatforhimself.
Oratleastthathewouldenquireaboutthesymptoms.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Twopeopleadvisedmerecently,
Almostinthesamewords,thatIoughttoseeadoctor.
Theysaidagain,inalmostthesamewords
ThatIwasontheedgeofanervousbreakdown.
Ididntknowitthenmyselfbutiftheysawit
Ishouldhavethoughtthatadoctorcouldseeit.
REILLY:NervousbreakdownisatermIneveruse:
Itcanmeanalmostanything.
EDWARD:Andsincethen,Ihaverealised
Thatmineisaveryunusualcase.
REILLY:Allcasesareunique,andverysimilartoothers.
EDWARD:Isthereasanatoriumtowhichyousendsuchpatients
Asmyself,underyourpersonalobservation?
REILLY:Youareveryimpetuous,Mr.Chamberlayne.
Thereareseveralkindsofsanatoria
Forseveralkindsofpatient.Andtherearealsopatients
Forwhomasanatoriumistheworstplacepossible.
Wemustfirstfindoutwhatiswrongwithyou
Beforewedecidewhattodowithyou.
EDWARD:Idoubtifyouhaveeverhadacaselikemine:
Ihaveceasedtobelieveinmyownpersonality.
REILLY:Oh,dearyes;thisisserious.Averycommonmalady.
Veryprevalentindeed.
EDWARD:Iremember,inmychildhood...
REILLY:Ialwaysbeginfromtheimmediatesituation
AndthengobackasfarasIfindnecessary.
Yousee,yourmemoriesofchildhood
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Imean,inyourpresentstateofmind
Wouldbelargelyfictitious;andasforyourdreams,
Youwouldproduceamazingdreams,toobligeme.
IcouldmakeyoudreamanykindofdreamIsuggested,
Anditwouldonlygotoflatteryourvanity
Withthetemporarystimulusoffeelinginteresting.
EDWARD:ButIamobsessedbythethoughtofmyowninsignificance.
REILLY:Precisely.AndIcouldmakeyoufeelimportant,
Andyouwouldimagineitamarvellouscure;
Andyouwouldgoon,doingsuchamountofmischief
Aslaywithinyourpoweruntilyoucametogrief.
Halfoftheharmthatisdoneinthisworld
Isduetopeoplewhowanttofeelimportant.
Theydontmeantodoharmbuttheharmdoesnotinterestthem.
Ortheydonotseeit,ortheyjustifyit
Becausetheyareabsorbedintheendlessstruggle
Tothinkwellofthemselves.
EDWARD:IfIamlikethat
Imusthavedoneagreatdealofharm.
REILLY:Oh,notsomuchasyouwouldliketothink.
Only,shallwesay,withinyourmodestcapacity.
TrytoexplainwhathashappenedsinceIleftyou.
EDWARD:IseenowwhyIwantedmywifetocomeback.
Itwasbecauseofwhatshehadmademeinto.
Wehadnotbeenaloneagainforfifteenminutes
BeforeIfelt,andstillmoreacutely
Indeed,acutely,perhaps,forthefirsttime,
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Thewholeoppression,theunreality
Oftheroleshehadalwaysimposeduponme
Withtheobstinate,unconscious,subhumanstrength
Thatsomewomenhave.Withouther,itwasvacancy.
WhenIthoughtshehadleftme,Ibegantodissolve,
Toceasetoexist.Thatwaswhatshehaddonetome!
Icannotlivewithherthatisnowintolerable;
Icannotlivewithouther,forshehasmademeincapable
Ofhavinganyexistenceofmyown.
Thatiswhatshehasdonetomeinfiveyearstogether!
ShehasmadetheworldaplaceIcannotlivein
Exceptonherterms.Imustbealone,
Butnotinthesameworld.SoIwantyoutoputme
Intoyoursanatorium.Icouldbealonethere?
[Housetelephonerings.]
REILLY:[Intotelephone]Yes.
[ToEDWARD]Yes,youcouldbealonethere.
EDWARD:Iwonder
IfyouhaveunderstoodawordofwhatIhavebeensaying.
REILLY:Youmusthavepatiencewithme,Mr.Chamberlayne:
Ilearnagooddealbymerelyobservingyou,
Andlettingyoutalkaslongasyouplease,
Andtakingnoteofwhatyoudonotsay.
EDWARD:Ionceexperiencedtheextremeofphysicalpain,
AndnowIknowthereissufferingworsethanthat.
Itissurprising,ifonehadtimetobesurprised:
Iamnotafraidofthedeathofthebody,
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Butthisdeathisterrifying.Thedeathofthespirit
CanyouunderstandwhatIsuffer?
REILLY:Iunderstandwhatyoumean.
EDWARD:Icannolongeractformyself.
ComingtoseeyouthatsthelastdecisionIwascapableofmaking.
Iaminyourhands.Icannottakeanyfurtherresponsibility.
REILLY:Manypatientscomeinthatbelief.
EDWARD:Andnowwillyousendmetothesanatorium?
REILLY:Youhavenothingelsetotellme?
EDWARD:WhatelsecanItellyou?
Youdontwanttohearaboutmyearlyhistory.
REILLY:No,Ididnotwanttohearaboutyourearlyhistory.
EDWARD:Andsowillyousendmetothesanatorium?
Icantgohomeagain.Andatmyclub
Theywontletyoukeeparoomformorethansevendays;
Ihaventthecouragetogotoahotel,
Andbesides,Ineedmoreshirtsyoucangetmywife
Tohavemythingssenton:whateverIshallneed.
ButofcourseyoumustnttellherwhereIam.
Isitfartogo?
REILLY:Youmightsay,alongjourney.
ButbeforeItreatapatientlikeyourself
Ineedtoknowagreatdealmoreabouthim,
Thanthepatienthimselfcanalwaystellme.
Indeed,itisoftenthecasethatmypatients
Areonlypiecesofatotalsituation
WhichIhavetoexplore.Thesinglepatient
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Whoisillbyhimself,israthertheexception.
Ihaverecentlyhadanotherpatient
Whosesituationismuchthesameasyourown.
[Pressesthebellonhisdeskthreetimes]
Youmustacceptaratherunusualprocedure:
Iproposetointroduceyoutotheotherpatient.
EDWARD:Whatdoyoumean?Whoisthisotherpatient?
Iconsiderthisveryunprofessionalconduct
Iwillnotdiscussmycasebeforeanotherpatient.
REILLY:Onthecontrary.Thatistheonlyway
Inwhichitcanbediscussed.Youhavetoldmenothing.
Youhavehadtheopportunity,andyouhavesaidenough
Toconvincemethatyouhavebeenmakingupyourcase
Sotospeak,asyouwentalong.Abarrister
Oughttoknowhisbriefbeforeheentersthecourt.
EDWARD:Iamatleastfreetoleave.AndIproposetodoso.
Mymindismadeup.Ishallgotoahotel.
REILLY:Itisjustbecauseyouarenotfree,Mr.Chamberlayne,
Thatyouhavecometome.Itisformetogiveyouthat
Yourfreedom.Thatismyaffair.
[laviniaisshowninbythenursesecretary.]
Buthereistheotherpatient.
EDWARD:Lavinia!
LAVINIA:Well,SirHenry!
IsaidIwouldcometotalkaboutmyhusband:
IdidntsayIwaspreparedtomeethim.
EDWARD:AndIdidnotexpecttomeetyou,Lavinia.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Icallthisaverydishonourabletrick.
REILLY:Honestybeforehonour,Mr.Chamberlayne.
Sitdown,please,bothofyou.Mrs.Chamberlayne,
Yourhusbandwishestoenterasanatorium,
Andthatisaquestionwhichnaturallyconcernsyou.
EDWARD:Iamnotgoingtoanysanatorium.
Iamgoingtoahotel.AndIshallaskyou,Lavinia,
Tobesogoodastosendmeonsomeclothes.
LAVINIA:Oh,towhathotel?
EDWARD:IdontknowImeantosay,
Thatdoesntconcernyou.
LAVINIA:Inthatcase,Edward,
Idontthinkyourclothesconcernmeeither.
[Toreilly]
Ipresumeyouwillsendhimtothesamesanatorium
Towhichyousentme?Well,heneedsitmorethanIdid.
REILLY:Iamgladthatyouhavecometoseeitinthatlight
Atleast,forthemoment.But,Mrs.Chamberlayne,
Youhavenevervisitedmysanatorium.
LAVINIA:Whatdoyoumean?Iaskedtobesent
Andyoutookmethere.Ifthatwasnotasanatorium
Whatwasit?
REILLY:Akindofhotel.Aretreat
Forpeoplewhoimaginethattheyneedarespite
Fromeverydaylife.Theyreturnrefreshed;
Andiftheybelieveittobeasanatorium
Thatisgoodreasonfornotsendingthemtoone.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Thepeoplewhoneedmysortofsanatorium
Arenoteasilydeceived.
LAVINIA:Areyouadevil
Ormerelyalunaticpracticaljoker?
EDWARD:Iinclinetothesecondexplanation
Withoutthequalificationlunatic.
Whyshouldyougotoasanatorium?
Ihaveneverknownanyoneinmylife
Withfewermentalcomplicationsthanyou;
Yourestrongerthana...battleship.Thatswhatdrovememad.
Iamtheonewhoneedsasanatorium
ButImnotgoingthere.
REILLY:Youareright,Mr.Chamberlayne.
Youarenocaseformysanatorium:
Youaremuchtooill.
EDWARD:Muchtooill?
ThenIllgoandbeillinasuburbanboardinghouse.
LAVINIA:Thatwouldneversuityou,Edward.NowIknowofahotel
IntheNewForest...
EDWARD:Howlikeyou,Lavinia.
Youalwaysknowofsomethingbetter.
LAVINIA:ItsonlythatIhaveamorepracticalmind
Thanyouhave,Edward.Youdoknowthat.
EDWARD:Onlybecauseyouvetoldmesooften.
Idliketoseeyoufillingupanincometaxform.
LAVINIA:Dontbesilly,Edward.WhenIsaypractical,
Imeanpracticalinthethingsthatreallymatter.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
REILLY:MayIinterruptthisinterestingdiscussion?
Isayyouarebothtooill.Thereareseveralsymptoms
Whichmustoccurtogether,andtoamarkeddegree,
Toqualifyapatientformysanatorium:
Andoneofthemisanhonestmind.
Thatisoneofthecausesoftheirsuffering.
LAVINIA:Noonecansaymyhusbandhasanhonestmind.
EDWARD:AndIcouldnothonestlysaythatofyou,Lavinia.
REILLY:Icongratulateyoubothonyourperspicacity.
Yoursympatheticunderstandingofeachother
WillprepareyoutoappreciatewhatIhavetosaytoyou.
Idonottroublemyselfwiththecommoncheat,
Orwiththeinsuperably,innocentlydull:
Mypatientssuchasyouaretheselfdeceivers
Takinginfinitepains,exhaustingtheirenergy,
Yetneverquitesuccessful.Youhavebothofyoupretended
Tobeconsultingme;both,triedtoimposeuponme
Yourowndiagnosis,andprescribeyourowncure.
Butwhenyouputyourselvesintohandslikemine
Yousurrenderagreatdealmorethanyoumeantto.
Thisistheconsequenceoftryingtolietome.
LAVINIA:Ididnotcomeheretobeinsulted.
REILLY:Youhavecomewherethewordinsulthasnomeaning;
Andyoumustputupwiththat.Allthatyouhavetoldme
Bothofyouwastrueenough:youdescribedyourfeelings
Orsomeofthemomittingtheimportantfacts.
Letmetakeyourhusbandfirst.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
[Toedward]
Youwerelyingtome
ByconcealingyourrelationswithMissCoplestone.
EDWARD:Thisismonstrous!Mywifeknewnothingaboutit.
LAVINIA:Really,Edward!EvenifIdbeenblind
Therewereplentyofpeopletoletmeknowaboutit.
Iwonderiftherewasanyonewhodidntknow.
REILLY:Therewasone,infact.Butyou,Mrs.Chamberlayne,
Triedtomakemebelievethatitwasthisdiscovery
Precipitatedwhatyoucalledyournervousbreakdown.
LAVINIA:Butitstrue!Iwascompletelyprostrated;
EvenifIhavemadeapartialrecovery.
REILLY:Certainly,youwerecompletelyprostrated,
Andcertainly,youhavesomewhatrecovered.
Butyoufailedtomentionthatthecauseofyourdistress
Wasthedefectionofyourloverwhosuddenly
Forthefirsttimeinhislife,fellinlovewithsomeone,
Andwithsomeoneofwhomyouhadreasontobejealous.
EDWARD:Really,Lavinia!Thisisveryinteresting.
Youseemtohavebeenmuchmoresuccessfulatconcealment
ThanIwas.NowIwonderwhoitcouldhavebeen.
LAVINIA:Well,tellhimifyoulike.
REILLY:AyoungmannamedPeter.
EDWARD:Peter?Peterwho?
REILLY:Mr.PeterQuilpe
Wasafrequentguest.
EDWARD:PeterQuilpe!
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
PeterQuilpe!ReallyLavinia!
Icongratulateyou.Youcouldnothavechosen
AnyoneIwaslesslikelytosuspect.
AndthenhecametometoconfideaboutCelia!
Ihaveneverheardanythingsoutterlyludicrous:
Thisisthebestjokethateverhappened.
LAVINIA:Ineverknewyouhadsuchasenseofhumour.
REILLY:Itisthefirstmorehopefulsymptom.
LAVINIA:Howdidyouknowallthis?
REILLY:ThatIcannotdisclose.
Ihavemyownmethodofcollectinginformation
Aboutmypatients.Youmustnotaskmetorevealit
Thatisamatterofprofessionaletiquette.
LAVINIA:Ihavenotnoticedmuchprofessionaletiquette
Aboutyourbehaviourtoday.
REILLY:Apointwelltaken.
Butpermitmetoremarkthatmyrevelations
Abouteachofyou,tooneanother,
Havenotbeenofanythingthatyouconfidedtome.
TheinformationIhaveexchangedbetweenyou
Wasallobtainedfromoutsidesources.
Mrs.Chamberlayne,whenyoucametometwomonthsago
Iwasdissatisfiedwithyourexplanation
Ofyourobvioussymptomsofemotionalstrain
AndsoImadeenquiries.
EDWARD:Itwastwomonthsago
Thatyourbreakdownbegan!AndInevernoticedit.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
LAVINIA:Youwouldntnoticeanything.Younevernoticedme.
REILLY:Now,Iwanttopointouttobothofyou
Howmuchyouhaveincommon.Indeed,Iconsider
Thatyouareexceptionallywellsuitedtoeachother.
Mr.Chamberlayne,whenyouthoughtyourwifehadleftyou,
Youdiscovered,toyoursurpriseandconsternation,
ThatyouwerenotreallyinlovewithMissCoplestone...
LAVINIA:Myhusbandhasneverbeeninlovewithanybody.
REILLY:Andwerenotpreparedtomaketheleastsacrifice
Onheraccount.Thisinjuredyourvanity.
Youlikedtothinkofyourselfasapassionatelover.
Thenyourealised,whatyourwifehasjustlyremarked,
Thatyouhadneverbeeninlovewithanybody;
Whichmadeyoususpectthatyouwereincapable
Ofloving.Tomenofacertaintype
Thesuspicionthattheyareincapableofloving
Isasdisturbingtotheirselfesteem
As,incrudermen,thefearofimpotence.
LAVINIA:Youarecoldhearted,Edward.
REILLY:Soyousay,Mrs.Chamberlayne.
Andnow,letusturntoyoursideoftheproblem.
Whenyoudiscoveredthatyouryoungfriend
(Thoughyouknew,inyourheart,thathewasnotinlovewithyou,
Andwerealwayshumiliatedbytheawareness
Thatyouhadforcedhimintothisposition)
When,Isay,youdiscoveredthatyouryoungfriend
HadactuallyfalleninlovewithMissCoplestone,
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Ittookyousometime,Ihavenodoubt,
Beforeyouwouldadmitit.Thoughperhapsyouknewit
Beforehedid.Youpretendedtoyourself,
Isuspect,andforaslongasyoucould.
Thathewasaimingatahighersocialdistinction
Thanthehonourconferredbybeingyourlover.
Whenyouhadtofacethefactthathisfeelingstowardsher
Weredifferentfromanyyouhadarousedinhim
Itwasashock.Youhadwantedtobeloved;
Youhadcometoseethatnoonehadeverlovedyou.
Thenyoubegantofearthatnoonecouldloveyou.
EDWARD:Imbeginningtofeelverysorryforyou,Lavinia.
Youknow,youreallyareexceptionallyunlovable,
AndIneverquiteknewwhy.Ithoughtitwasmyfault.
REILLY:Andnowyoubegintosee,Ihope,
Howmuchyouhaveincommon.Thesameisolation.
Amanwhofindshimselfincapableofloving
Andawomanwhofindsthatnomancanloveher.
LAVINIA:Itseemstomethatwhatwehaveincommon
Mightbejustenoughtomakeusloatheoneanother.
REILLY:Seeitratherasthebondwhichholdsyoutogether.
Whilestillinastateofunenlightenment,
Youcouldalwayssay:Hecouldnotloveanywoman;
Youcouldalwayssay:Nomancouldloveher.
Youcouldaccuseeachotherofyourownfaults,
Andsocouldavoidunderstandingeachother.
Now,youhaveonlytoreversethepropositions
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Andputthemtogether.
LAVINIA:Isthatpossible?
REILLY:IfIhadsenteitherofyoutothesanatorium
InthestateinwhichyoucametomeItellyouthis:
Itwouldhavebeenahorrorbeyondyourimagining,
Foryouwouldhavebeenleftwithwhatyoubroughtwithyou:
Theshadowofdesiresofdesires.Aprey
Tothedevilswhoarriveattheirplenitudeofpower
Whentheyhaveyoutothemselves.
LAVINIA:Thenwhatcanwedo
Whenwecangoneitherbacknorforward?Edward!
Whatcanwedo?
REILLY:Youhaveansweredyourownquestion,
Thoughyoudonotknowthemeaningofwhatyouhavesaid.
EDWARD:Lavinia,wemustmakethebestofabadjob.
Thatiswhathemeans.
REILLY:Whenyoufind,Mr.Chamberlayne,
Thebestofabadjobisallanyofusmakeofit
Exceptofcourse,thesaintssuchasthosewhogo
Tothesanatoriumyouwillforgetthisphrase,
Andinforgettingitwillalterthecondition.
LAVINIA:Edward,thereisthathotelintheNewForest
Ifyouwanttogothere.Theproprietor
Whohasjusttakenover,isafriendofAlexs.
Icouldgodownwithyou,andthenleaveyouthere
Ifyouwanttobealone...
EDWARD:ButIcantgoaway!
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IhaveacasecomingonnextMonday.
LAVINIA:Thenwillyoustopatyourclub?
EDWARD:No,theywontletme.
Imustleavetomorrowbuthowdidyouknow
Iwasstayingattheclub?
LAVINIA:Really,Edward!
Ihavesomesenseofresponsibility.
Iwasgoingtoleavesomeshirtsthereforyou.
EDWARD:ItseemstomethatImightaswellgohome.
LAVINIA:Thenwecanshareataxi,andbeeconomical.
Edward,haveyouanythingelsetoaskhim
Beforewego?
EDWARD:Yes,Ihave.
Butitsdifficulttosay.
LAVINIA:ButIwishyouwouldsayit.
Atleast,thereissomethingIwouldlikeyoutoask.
EDWARD:Itsaboutthefutureof...theothers.
Idontwanttobuildonotherpeoplesruins.
LAVINIA:Exactly.AndIhaveaquestiontoo.
SirHenry,wasityouwhosentthosetelegrams?
REILLY:IthinkIwilldisposeofyourhusbandsproblem.
[Toedward]
Yourbusinessisnottoclearyourconscience
Buttolearnhowtobeartheburdensonyourconscience.
Withthefutureoftheothersyouarenotconcerned.
LAVINIA:Ithinkyouhaveansweredmyquestiontoo.
Theyhadtotellus,themselves,thattheyhadmadetheirdecision.
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EDWARD:Haveyouanythingelsetosaytous,SirHenry?
REILLY:No.Notinthiscapacity.
[edwardtakesouthischequebook.reillyraiseshishand.]
Mysecretarywillsendyoumyaccount.
Goinpeace.Andworkoutyoursalvationwithdiligence.
[Exeuntedwardandlavinia.]
[reillygoestothecouchandliesdown.Thehousetelephonerings.Hegetsupandanswersit.]
REILLY:Yes?...Yes.Comein.
[Enterjuliabysidedoor.]
Sheswaitingdownstairs.
JULIA:Iknowthat,Henry.Ibroughtherheremyself.
REILLY:Oh?Youdidntletherknowyouwereseeingmefirst?
JULIA:Ofcoursenot.Idroppedheratthedoor
Andwentoninthetaxi,roundthecorner;
Waitedamoment,andslippedinbythebackway.
Ionlycametotellyou,Iamsuresheisready
Tomakeadecision.
REILLY:Wasshereluctant?
Wasthatwhyyoubroughther?
JULIA:Ohno,notreluctant:
Onlydiffident.Shecannotbelieve
Thatyouwilltakeherseriously.
REILLY:Thatisnotuncommon.
JULIA:Orthatshedeservestobetakenseriously.
REILLY:Thatismostuncommon.
JULIA:Henry,getup.Youcantbeastiredasthat.
Ishallwaitinthenextroom,
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Andcomebackwhenshesgone.
REILLY:Yes,whenshesgone.
JULIA:WillAlexbehere?
REILLY:Yes,hellbehere.
[Exitjuliabysidedoor.]
[reillypressesbutton.
nursesecretaryshowsincelia.]
REILLY:MissCeliaCoplestone?...Wontyousitdown?
IbelieveyouareafriendofMrs.Shuttlethwaite.
CELIA:Yes,itwasJulia...Mrs.Shuttlethwaite
Whoadvisedmetocometoyou.ButIvemetyoubefore,
HaventI,somewhere?...Oh,ofcourse.
ButIdidntknow...
REILLY:Thereisnothingyouneedtoknow.
IwasthereattheinstanceofMrs.Shuttlethwaite.
CELIA:Thatmakesitevenmoreperplexing.However,
Idontwanttowasteyourtime.AndImawfullyafraid
ThatyoullthinkthatIamwastingitanyway.
Isupposemostpeople,whentheycometoseeyou,
Areobviouslyill,orcangivegoodreasons
Forwantingtoseeyou.Well,Icant.
Ijustcameindesperation.AndIshantbeoffended
Ifyousimplytellmetogoawayagain.
REILLY:Mostofmypatientsbegin,MissCoplestone,
Bytellingmeexactlywhatisthematterwiththem,
AndwhatIamtodoaboutit.Theyarequitesure
Theyhavehadanervousbreakdownthatiswhattheycallit
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Andusuallytheythinkthatsomeoneelseistoblame.
CELIA:Iatleasthavenoonetoblamebutmyself.
REILLY:Andafterthat,theprologuetomytreatment
Istotrytoshowthemthattheyaremistaken
Aboutthenatureoftheirillness,andleadthemtosee
Thatitsnotsointerestingastheyhadimagined.
WhenIgetasfarasthat,thereissomethingtobedone.
CELIA:Well,Icantpretendthatmytroubleisinteresting;
ButIshantbeginthatway.Ifeelperfectlywell.
Icouldleadanactivelifeiftheresanythingtoworkfor;
IdontimaginethatIambeingpersecuted;
Idonthearanyvoices,Ihavenodelusions
ExceptthattheworldIliveinseemsalladelusion!
ButoughtntIfirsttotellyouthecircumstances?
Idforgottenthatyouknownothingaboutme;
AndwithwhatIvebeengoingthrough,theselastweeks,
IsomehowtookitforgrantedthatIneedntexplainmyself.
REILLY:Iknowquiteenoughaboutyouforthemoment:
Tryfirsttodescribeyourpresentstateofmind.
CELIA:Well,therearetwothingsIcantunderstand,
Whichyoumightconsidersymptoms.ButfirstImusttellyou
ThatIshouldreallyliketothinktheressomethingwrongwithme
Because,ifthereisnt,thentheressomethingwrong,
Oratleast,verydifferentfromwhatitseemedtobe,
Withtheworlditselfandthatsmuchmorefrightening!
Thatwouldbeterrible.SoIdratherbelieve
Thereissomethingwrongwithme,thatcouldbeputright.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Iddoanythingyoutoldme,togetbacktonormality.
REILLY:Wemustfindoutaboutyou,beforewedecide
Whatisnormality.Yousaytherearetwothings:Whatisthefirst?
CELIA:Anawarenessofsolitude.
Butthatsoundssoflat.Idontmeansimply
Thattheresbeenacrash:thoughindeedtherehasbeen
Itisntsimplytheendofanillusion
Intheordinaryway,orbeingditched.
Ofcoursethatssomethingthatsalwayshappening
Toallsortsofpeople,andtheygetoverit
Moreorless,oratleasttheycarryon.
No.Imeanthatwhathashappenedhasmademeaware
ThatIvealwaysbeenalone.Thatonealwaysisalone.
Notsimplytheendingofonerelationship,
Notevensimplyfindingthatitneverexisted
Butarevelationaboutmyrelationship
Witheverybody.Doyouknow
Itnolongerseemsworthwhiletospeaktoanyone!
REILLY:Andwhataboutyourparents?
CELIA:Oh,theyliveinthecountry,
Nowtheycantaffordtohaveaplaceintown.
Itsalltheycandotokeepthecountryhousegoing:
Butitsbeeninthefamilysolong,theywontleaveit.
REILLY:AndyouliveinLondon?
CELIA:Ishareaflat
Withacousin:butshesabroadatthemoment,
Andmyfamilywantmetocomedownandstaywiththem.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ButIjustcantfaceit.
REILLY:Soyouwanttoseenoone?
CELIA:No...itisntthatIwanttobealone,
Butthateveryonesaloneorsoitseemstome.
Theymakenoises,andthinktheyaretalkingtoeachother;
Theymakefaces,andthinktheyunderstandeachother.
AndImsurethattheydont.Isthatadelusion?
REILLY:Adelusionissomethingwemustreturnfrom.
Thereareotherstatesofmind,whichwetaketobedelusion,
Butwhichwehavetoacceptandgoonfrom.
Andthesecondsymptom?
CELIA:Thatsstrangerstill.
Itsoundsridiculousbuttheonlywordforit
ThatIcanfind,isasenseofsin.
REILLY:Yousufferfromasenseofsin,MissCoplestone?
Thisismostunusual.
CELIA:Itseemedtomeabnormal.
REILLY:Wehaveyettofindwhatwouldbenormal
Foryou,beforeweusethetermabnormal.
Tellmewhatyoumeanbyasenseofsin.
CELIA:ItsmucheasiertotellyouwhatIdontmean:
Idontmeansinintheordinarysense.
REILLY:Andwhat,inyouropinion,istheordinarysense?
CELIA:Well...Isupposeitsbeingimmoral
AndIdontfeelasifIwasimmoral:
Infact,arentthepeopleonethinksofasimmoral
Justthepeoplewhowesayhavenomoralsense?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Ivenevernoticedthatimmorality
Wasaccompaniedbyasenseofsin:
Atleast,Ihavenevercomeacrossit.
Isupposeitiswickedtohurtotherpeople
Ifyouknowthatyourehurtingthem.Ihaventhurther.
Iwasnttakinganythingawayfromher
Anythingshewanted.Imayhavebeenafool:
ButIdontmindatallhavingbeenafool.
REILLY:Andwhatisthepointofviewofyourfamily?
CELIA:Well,mybringingupwasprettyconventional
Ihadalwaysbeentaughttodisbelieveinsin.
Oh,Idontmeanthatitwasevermentioned!
Butanythingwrong,fromourpointofview,
Waseitherbadform,orwaspsychological.
Andbadformalwaysledtodisaster
Becausethepeopleoneknewdisapprovedofit.
Idontworrymuchaboutform,myself
Butwheneverythingsbadform,ormentalkinks,
Youeitherbecomebadform,andceasetocare,
Orelse,ifyoucare,youmustbekinky.
REILLY:Andsoyousupposeyouhavewhatyoucallakink?
CELIA:Buteverythingseemedsoright,atthetime!
Ivebeenthinkingaboutit,overandover;
Icanseenow,itwasallamistake:
ButIdontseewhymistakesshouldmakeonefeelsinful!
AndyetIcantfindanyotherwordforit.
Itmustbesomekindofhallucination;
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Yet,atthesametime,Imfrightenedbythefear
ThatitismorerealthananythingIbelievedin.
REILLY:Whatismorerealthananythingyoubelievedin?
CELIA:ItsnotthefeelingofanythingIveeverdone,
WhichImightgetawayfrom,orofanythinginme
Icouldgetridofbutofemptiness,offailure
Towardssomeone,orsomething,outsideofmyself;
AndIfeelImust...atoneisthattheword?
Canyoutreatapatientforsuchastateofmind?
REILLY:Whathadyoubelievedwereyourrelationswiththisman?
CELIA:Oh,youdguessedthat,hadyou?Thatscleverofyou.
No,perhapsImadeitobvious.Youdontneedtoknow
Abouthim,doyou?
REILLY:No.
CELIA:PerhapsImonlytypical.
REILLY:Therearedifferenttypes.Somearerarerthanothers.
CELIA:Oh,IthoughtthatIwasgivinghimsomuch!
Andhetomeandthegivingandthetaking
Seemedsoright:notintermsofcalculation
Ofwhatwasgoodforthepersonswehadbeen
Butforthenewperson,us.IfIcouldfeel
AsIdidthen,evennowitwouldseemright.
AndthenIfoundwewereonlystrangers
Andthattherehadbeenneithergivingnortaking
Butthatwehadmerelymadeuseofeachother
Eachforhispurpose.Thatshorrible.Canweonlylove
Somethingcreatedbyourownimagination?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Areweallinfactunlovingandunlovable?
Thenoneisalone,andifoneisalone
Thenloverandbelovedareequallyunreal
Andthedreamerisnomorerealthanhisdreams.
REILLY:Andthisman.Whatdoeshenowseemlike,toyou?
CELIA:Likeachildwhohaswanderedintoaforest
Playingwithanimaginaryplaymate
Andsuddenlydiscoversheisonlyachild
Lostinaforest,wantingtogohome.
REILLY:Compassionmaybealreadyaclue
Towardsfindingyourownwayoutoftheforest.
CELIA:ButevenifIfindmywayoutoftheforest
Ishallbeleftwiththeinconsolablememory
OfthetreasureIwentintotheforesttofind
Andneverfound,andwhichwasnotthere
Andperhapsisnotanywhere?Butifnotanywhere,
WhydoIfeelguiltyatnothavingfoundit?
REILLY:Disillusioncanbecomeitselfanillusion
Ifwerestinit.
CELIA:Icannotargue.
ItsnotthatImafraidofbeinghurtagain:
Nothingagaincaneitherhurtorheal.
Ihavethoughtatmomentsthattheecstasyisreal
Althoughthosewhoexperienceitmayhavenoreality.
Forwhathappenedisrememberedlikeadream
Inwhichoneisexaltedbyintensityofloving
Inthespirit,avibrationofdelight
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Withoutdesire,fordesireisfulfilled
Inthedelightofloving.Astateonedoesnotknow
Whenawake.Butwhat,orwhomIloved,
Orwhatinmewasloving,Idonotknow.
Andifthatisallmeaningless,Iwanttobecured
OfacravingforsomethingIcannotfind
Andoftheshameofneverfindingit.
Canyoucureme?
REILLY:Theconditioniscurable.
Buttheformoftreatmentmustbeyourownchoice:
Icannotchooseforyou.Ifthatiswhatyouwish,
Icanreconcileyoutothehumancondition,
Theconditiontowhichsomewhohavegoneasfarasyou
Havesucceededinreturning.Theymayremember
Thevisiontheyhavehad,buttheyceasetoregretit,
Maintainthemselvesbythecommonroutine,
Learntoavoidexcessiveexpectation,
Becometolerantofthemselvesandothers,
Givingandtaking,intheusualactions
Whatthereistogiveandtake.Theydonotrepine;
Arecontentedwiththemorningthatseparates
Andwiththeeveningthatbringstogether
Forcasualtalkbeforethefire
Twopeoplewhoknowtheydonotunderstandeachother,
Breedingchildrenwhomtheydonotunderstand
Andwhowillneverunderstandthem.
CELIA:Isthatthebestlife?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
REILLY:Itisagoodlife.Thoughyouwillnotknowhowgood
Tillyoucometotheend.Butyouwillwantnothingelse,
Andtheotherlifewillbeonlylikeabook
Youhavereadonce,andlost.Inaworldoflunacy,
Violence,stupidity,greed...itisagoodlife.
CELIA:IknowIoughttobeabletoacceptthat
IfImightstillhaveit.Yetitleavesmecold.
Perhapsthatsjustapartofmyillness,
ButIfeelitwouldbeakindofsurrender
No,notasurrendermorelikeabetrayal.
Yousee,IthinkIreallyhadavisionofsomething
ThoughIdontknowwhatitis.Idontwanttoforgetit.
Iwanttolivewithit.Icoulddowithouteverything,
Putupwithanything,ifImightcherishit.
Infact,Ithinkitwouldreallybedishonest
Forme,now,totrytomakealifewithanybody!
Icouldntgiveanyonethekindoflove
IwishIcouldwhichbelongstothatlife.
Oh,Imafraidthissoundslikeraving!
Orjustcantankerousness...still,
Iftheresnootherway...thenIfeeljusthopeless.
REILLY:Thereisanotherway,ifyouhavethecourage.
ThefirstIcoulddescribeinfamiliarterms
Becauseyouhaveseenit,asweallhaveseenit,
Illustrated,moreorless,inlivesofthoseaboutus.
Thesecondisunknown,andsorequiresfaith
Thekindoffaiththatissuesfromdespair.
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Thedestinationcannotbedescribed;
Youwillknowverylittleuntilyougetthere;
Youwilljourneyblind.Butthewayleadstowardspossession
Ofwhatyouhavesoughtforinthewrongplace.
CELIA:ThatsoundslikewhatIwant.Butwhatismyduty?
REILLY:Whicheverwayyouchoosewillprescribeitsownduty.
CELIA:Whichwayisbetter?
REILLY:Neitherwayisbetter.
Bothwaysarenecessary.Itisalsonecessary
Tomakeachoicebetweenthem.
CELIA:ThenIchoosethesecond.
REILLY:Itisaterrifyingjourney.
CELIA:Iamnotfrightened
Butglad.Isupposeitisalonelyway?
REILLY:Nolonelierthantheother.Butthosewhotaketheother
Canforgettheirloneliness.Youwillnotforgetyours.
Eachwaymeanslonelinessandcommunion.
Bothwaysavoidthefinaldesolation
Ofsolitudeinthephantasmalworld
Ofimagination,shufflingmemoriesanddesires.
CELIA:ThatisthehellIhavebeenin.
REILLY:Itisnthell
Tillyoubecomeincapableofanythingelse.
Nowdoyoufeelquitesure?
CELIA:Iwantyoursecondway.
SowhatamItodo?
REILLY:Youwillgotothesanatorium.
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CELIA:Oh,whatananticlimax!Ihaveknownpeople
Whohavebeentoyoursanatorium,andcomebackagain
Idontmeantosaytheywerentmuchbetterforit
ThatswhyIcametoyou.Buttheyreturned...
Well...Imean...toeverydaylife.
REILLY:True.Butthefriendsyouhaveinmind
Cannothavebeentothissanatorium.
IamverycarefulwhomIsendthere:
Thosewhogodonotcomebackasthesedid.
CELIA:Itsoundslikeaprison.Buttheycantallstaythere!
Imean,itwouldmaketheplacesoovercrowded.
REILLY:Notverymanygo.ButIsaidtheydidnotcomeback
Inthesenseinwhichyourfriendscameback.
Ididnotsaytheystayedthere.
CELIA:Whatbecomesofthem?
REILLY:Theychoose,MissCoplestone.Nothingisforcedonthem.
Someofthemreturn,inaphysicalsense;
Noonedisappears.Theyleadveryactivelives
Veryoften,intheworld.
CELIA:Howsoonwillyousendmethere?
REILLY:Howsoonwillyoubeready?
CELIA:Tonight,bynineoclock.
REILLY:Gohomethen,andmakeyourpreparations.
Hereistheaddressforyoutogiveyourfriends;
[Writesonaslipofpaper.]
Youhadbetterletyourfamilyknowatonce.
Iwillsendacarforyouatnineoclock.
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CELIA:WhatdoIneedtotakewithme?
REILLY:Nothing.
Everythingyouneedwillbeprovidedforyou.
Andyouwillhavenoexpensesatthesanatorium.
CELIA:IdontintheleastknowwhatIamdoing
OrwhyIamdoingit.Thereisnothingelsetodo:
Thatistheonlyreason.
REILLY:Itisthebestreason.
CELIA:ButIknowitisIwhohavemadethedecision:
Imusttellyouthat.Oh,Ialmostforgot
MayIaskwhatyourfeeis?
REILLY:Ihavetoldmysecretary
Thatthereisnofee.
CELIA:But...
REILLY:Foracaselikeyours
Thereisnofee.
[Pressesbutton.]
CELIA:Youhavebeenverykind.
REILLY:Goinpeace,mydaughter.
Workoutyoursalvationwithdiligence.
[nursesecretaryappearsatdoor.Exitcelia.
reillydialsonhousetelephone.]
REILLY[Intotelephone]:Itisfinished.Youcancomeinnow.
[Enterjuliabysidedoor.]
Shewillgofar,thatone.
JULIA:Veryfar,Ithink.
Youdonotneedtotellme.Iknewfromthebeginning.
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REILLY:ItstheotheronesIamworriedabout.
JULIA:Nonsense,Henry.Ishallkeepaneyeonthem.
REILLY:Tosendthemback:whathavetheytogobackto?
Tothestalefoodmoulderinginthelarder,
Thestalethoughtsmoulderingintheirminds.
Eachunabletodisguisehisownmeanness
Fromhimself,becauseitisknowntotheother.
Itsnottheknowledgeofthemutualtreachery
Buttheknowledgethattheotherunderstandsthemotive
Mirrortomirror,reflectingvanity.
Ihavetakenagreatrisk.
JULIA:Wemustalwaystakerisks.
Thatisourdestiny.Sinceyouquestionthedecision
Whatpossiblealternativecanyouimagine?
REILLY:None.
JULIA:Verywellthen.Wemusttaketherisk.
Allwecoulddowastogivethemthechance.
Andnow,whentheyarestrippednakedtotheirsouls
Andcanchoose,whethertoputonpropercostumes
Orhuddlequicklyintonewdisguises,
Theyhave,forthefirsttime,somewheretostartfrom.
Oh,ofcourse,theymightjustmurdereachother!
ButIdontthinktheywilldothat.Weshallsee.
ItsthethoughtofCeliathatweighsuponmymind.
REILLY:OfCelia?
JULIA:OfCelia.
REILLY:ButwhenIsaidjustnow
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Thatshewouldgofar,youagreedwithme.
JULIA:Ohyes,shewillgofar.Andweknowwheresheisgoing.
Butwhatdoweknowoftheterrorsofthejourney?
YouandIdontknowtheprocessbywhichthehumanis
Transhumanised:whatdoweknow
Ofthekindofsufferingtheymustundergo
Onthewayofillumination?
REILLY:Willshebefrightened
Bythefirstappearanceofprojectedspirits?
JULIA:Henry,yousimplydonotunderstandinnocence.
Shewillbeafraidofnothing;shewillnotevenknow
Thatthereisanythingtheretobeafraidof.
Sheistoohumble.Shewillpassbetweenthescoldinghills,
Throughthevalleyofderision,likeachildsentonanerrand
Ineagernessandpatience.Yetshemustsuffer.
REILLY:WhenIexpressconfidenceinanything
Youalwaysraisedoubts;whenIamapprehensive
Thenyouseenoreasonforanythingbutconfidence.
JULIA:ThatsonewayinwhichIamsousefultoyou.
Yououghttobegrateful.
REILLY:AndwhenIsaytoonelikeher,
Workoutyoursalvationwithdiligence,Idonotunderstand
WhatImyselfamsaying.
JULIA:Youmustacceptyourlimitations.
ButhowmuchlongerwillAlexkeepuswaiting?
REILLY:Heshouldbeherebynow.IllspeaktoMissBarraway.
[Takes up house-telephone.]
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MissBarraway,whenMr.Gibbsarrives...
Oh,verygood.
[ToJULIA]Hesonhiswayup.
[Intotelephone]
Youmaybringthetrayinnow,MissBarraway.
[Enteralex.]
ALEX:Well!Well!andhowhavewegoton?
JULIA:Everythingisinorder.
ALEX:TheChamberlayneshavechosen?
REILLY:Theyaccepttheirdestiny.
ALEX:Andshehasmadethechoice?
REILLY:Shewillbefetchedthisevening.
[nursesecretaryenterswithatray,adecanterandthreeglasses,andexits.reillypoursdrinks.]
Andnowwearereadytoproceedtothelibation.
ALEX:Thewordsforthebuildingofthehearth.[Theyraisetheirglasses.]
REILLY:Letthembuildthehearth
Undertheprotectionofthestars.
ALEX:Letthemplaceachaireachsideofit.
JULIA:Maytheholyoneswatchovertheroof,
MaytheMoonherselfinfluencethebed.
[Theydrink.]
ALEX:Thewordsforthosewhogouponajourney.
REILLY:Protectoroftravellers
Blesstheroad.
ALEX:Watchoverherinthedesert
Watchoverherinthemountain
Watchoverherinthelabyrinth
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Watchoverherbythequicksand.
JULIA:ProtectherfromtheVoices
ProtectherfromtheVisions
Protectherinthetumult
Protectherinthesilence.
[Theydrink.]
REILLY:Thereisoneforwhomthewordscannotbespoken.
ALEX:Theycannotbespokenyet.
JULIA:YoumeanPeterQuilpe.
REILLY:Hehasnotyetcometowherethewordsarevalid.
JULIA:Shallweeverspeakthem?
ALEX:Others,perhaps,willspeakthem.
Youknow,IhaveconnectionseveninCalifornia.
curtain
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ActThree
The drawing room of the Chamberlaynes London flat. Two years later. A late afternoon in July.
A caterers man is arranging a buffet table. lavinia enters from side door.
CATERERSMAN:Haveyouanyfurtherordersforus.Madam?
LAVINIA:Youcouldbringinthetrolleywiththeglasses
Andleavethemready.
CATERERSMAN:Verygood,Madam.
[Exit.lavinialooksabouttheroomcriticallyandmovesabowlofflowers.]
[Reentercaterersmanwithtrolley.]
LAVINIA:There,inthatcorner.Thatsthemostconvenient;
Youcangetinandout.Isthereanythingyouneed
Thatyoucantfindinthekitchen?
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CATERERSMAN:Nothing,Madam.
Willtherebeanythingmoreyourequire?
LAVINIA:Nothingmore,Ithink,tillhalfpastsix.
[Exitcaterersman.]
[edwardletshimselfinatthefrontdoor.]
EDWARD:Imingoodtime,Ithink.Ihopeyouvenotbeenworrying.
LAVINIA:Ohno.Ididinfactringupyourchambers,
Andyourclerktoldmeyouhadalreadyleft.
ButallIrangupforwastoreassureyou...
EDWARD[Smiling]:Thatyouhadntrunaway?
LAVINIA:NowEdward,thatsunfair!
Youknowthatwevegivenseveralparties
Inthelasttwoyears.AndIveattendedallofthem.
Ihopeyourenottootired?
EDWARD:Ohno,aquietday.
Twoconsultationswithsolicitors
Onquitestraightforwardcases.Itsyouwhoshouldbetired.
LAVINIA:Imnottiredyet.ButIknowthatIllbeglad
Whenitsallover.
EDWARD:Ilikethedressyourewearing:
Imgladyouputonthatone.
LAVINIA:Well,Edward!
Doyouknowitsthefirsttimeyouvepaidmeacompliment
Beforeaparty?Andthatswhenoneneedsthem.
EDWARD:Well,youdeserveit.Weaskedtoomanypeople.
LAVINIA:Itstrue,agreatmanymoreaccepted
Thanwethoughtwouldwanttocome.Butwhatcanyoudo?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Theresusuallyalotwhodontwanttocome
Butallthesamewouldbebitterlyoffended
Tohearwedgivenapartywithoutaskingthem.
EDWARD:Perhapsweoughttohavearrangedtohavetwoparties
Insteadofone.
LAVINIA:Thatsneversatisfactory.
Everyonewhosaskedtoeitherparty
Suspectsthattheotheronewasmoreimportant.
EDWARD:Thatstrue.Youhaveaverypracticalmind.
LAVINIA:Butyouknow,Idontthinkthatyouneedworry:
Theywontallcome,outofthosewhoaccepted.
Youknowwesaid,Wecanasktwentymore
BecausetheywillbegoingtotheGunningsinstead.
EDWARD:Iknow,thatswhatwesaidatthetime;
ButIdforgottenwhattheGunningspartieswerelike.
Theirguestswillgetjustenoughtomakethemthirsty;
Theyllcomeontouslater,roaringfordrink.
Well,letshopethatthosewhocometousearly
WillbegoingontotheGunningsafterwards,
TomakeroomforthosewhocomefromtheGunnings.
LAVINIA:Andifitsverycrowded,theycantgetatthecocktails,
Andthemanwontbeabletotakethetrayabout,
Sotheyllgoawayagain.Anyway,atthatstage
Theresnothingwhateveryoucandoaboutit:
Andeveryonelikestobeseenataparty
Whereeverybodyelseis,toshowtheyvebeeninvited.
Thatswhatmakesitasuccess.Isthatpicturestraight?
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
EDWARD:Yes,itis.
LAVINIA:No,itisnt.Dopleasestraightenit.
EDWARD:Isitstraightnow?
LAVINIA:Toomuchtotheleft.
EDWARD:Howsthatnow?
LAVINIA:No,Imeanttheright.
Thatwilldo.Imtootiredtobother.
EDWARD:Aftertheyreallgone,wewillhavesomechampagne,
Justourselves.Youliedownnow,Lavinia.
Noonewillbecomingforatleasthalfanhour;
Sojuststretchout.
LAVINIA:Youmustsitbesideme,
ThenIcanrelax.
EDWARD:Thisisthebestmoment
Ofthewholeparty.
LAVINIA:Ohno,Edward.
Thebestmomentisthemomentitsover;
Andthentoremember,itstheendoftheseason
Andnomoreparties.
EDWARD:Andnomorecommittees.
LAVINIA:Canwegetawaysoon?
EDWARD:Bytheendofnextweek
Ishallbequitefree.
LAVINIA:Andwecanbealone.
Ilovethathousebeingsoremote.
EDWARD:Thatswhywetookit.AndImreallythankful
Tohavethatexcusefornotseeingpeople;
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Andyoudoneedtorestnow.
[Thedoorbellrings.]
LAVINIA:Oh,bother!
Nowwhowouldcomesoearly?Isimplycantgetup.
CATERERSMAN:Mrs.Shuttlethwaite!
LAVINIA:Oh,itsJulia!
[Enterjulia.]
JULIA:Well,mydears,andhereIam!
Iseemliterallytohavecaughtyounapping!
IknowImmuchtooearly;butthefactis,mydears,
ThatIhavetogoontotheGunningsparty
Andyouknowwhattheyofferinthewayoffoodanddrink!
AndIvehadtomissmytea,andImsimplyravenous
Anddyingofthirst.WhatcanParkinsonsdoforme?
Ohyes,IknowthisisaParkinsonparty;
Irecognisedoneoftheirmenatthedoor
Anoldfriendofmine,infact.
ButImforgetting!Ivegotasurprise:
IvebroughtAlexwithme!
Heonlygotbackthismorningfromsomewhere
Oneofhismysteriousexpeditions,
Andweregoingtogethimtotellusallaboutit.
Butwhatsbecomeofhim?
[Enteralex.]
EDWARD:Well,Alex!
Whereonearthdoyouturnupfrom?
ALEX:Whereonearth?FromtheEast.FromKinkanja
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Anislandthatyouwonthaveheardof
Yet.Gotbackthismorning.Iheardaboutyourparty
And,asIthoughtyoumightbeleavingforthecountry,
Isaid,Imustnotmisstheopportunity
ToseeEdwardandLavinia.
LAVINIA:Howareyou,Alex?
ALEX:Ididtrytogetyouonthetelephone
Afterlunch,butmysecretarycouldntgetthroughtoyou.
Nevermind,Isaidtomyself,nottoher
Nevermind:theunexpectedguest
Istheonetowhomtheygivethewarmestwelcome.
Iknowthemwellenoughforthat.
JULIA:Buttellus,Alex.
Whatwereyoudoinginthisstrangeplace
Whatsitcalled?
ALEX:Kinkanja.
JULIA:Whatwereyoudoing
InKinkanja?VisitingsomeSultan?Youwereshootingtigers?
ALEX:Therearenotigers,Julia,
InKinkanja.Andtherearenosultans.
IhavebeenstayingwiththeGovernor.
Threeofushavebeenoutonatourofinspection
Oflocalconditions.
JULIA:Whatabout?Monkeynuts?
ALEX:Thatwasanearerguessthanyouthink.
No,notmonkeynuts.Butithadtodowithmonkeys
Thoughwhetherthemonkeysarethecoreoftheproblem
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Ormerelyasymptom,Iamnotsosure.
Atleast,themonkeyshavebecomethepretext
Forgeneralunrestamongstthenatives.
EDWARD:Buthowdothemonkeyscreateunrest?
ALEX:Tobeginwith,themonkeysareverydestructive...
JULIA:Youdontneedtotellmethatmonkeysaredestructive.
IshallneverforgetMaryMallingtonsmonkey,
ThehorridlittlebeaststolemytickettoMentone
AndIhadtotravelinaveryslowtrain
Andinacouchette.Shewasveryangry
WhenItoldherthecreatureoughttobedestroyed.
LAVINIA:Butcanttheyexterminatethesemonkeys
Iftheyareapest?
ALEX:Unfortunately,
Themajorityofthenativesareheathen:
Theyholdthesemonkeysinpeculiarveneration
Anddonotwantthemkilled.SotheyblametheGovernment
Forthedamagethatthemonkeysdo.
EDWARD:Thatseemsunreasonable.
ALEX:Itisunreasonable,
Butcharacteristic.Andthatsnottheworstofit.
SomeofthetribesareChristianconverts,
And,naturally,takeadifferentview.
Theytrapthemonkeys.Andtheyeatthem.
Theyoungmonkeysareextremelypalatable:
Ivecookedthemmyself...
EDWARD:Anddidanybodyeatthem
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Whenyoucookedthem?
ALEX:Ohyes,indeed.
Iinventedforthenativesseveralnewrecipes.
Butyousee,whatwitheatingthemonkeys
Andwhatwithprotectingtheircropsfromthemonkeys
TheChristiannativesprosperexceedingly:
Andthatcreatesfrictionbetweenthemandtheothers.
Andthatstherealproblem.IhopeImnotboringyou?
EDWARD:Noindeed:weareanxioustolearnthesolution.
ALEX:Imnotsurethatthereisanysolution.
Buteventhisdoesnotbringustotheheartofthematter.
Therearealsoforeignagitators,
Stirringuptrouble...
LAVINIA:Whydontyouexpelthem?
ALEX:Theyarecitizensofafriendlyneighbouringstate
Whichwehavejustrecognized.Yousee,Lavinia,
Thereareverydeepwaters.
EDWARD:Andtheagitators;
Howdotheyagitate?
ALEX:Byconvincingtheheathen
Thattheslaughterofmonkeyshasputacurseonthem
WhichcanonlyberemovedbyslaughteringtheChristians.
Theyhaveevenbeenpersuadingsomeoftheconverts
Who,afterall,prefernottobeslaughtered
Torelapseintoheathendom.So,insteadofeatingmonkeys
TheyareeatingChristians.
JULIA:Whohaveeatenmonkeys.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ALEX:Thenativeisnot,Ifear,verylogical.
JULIA:Iwonderedwhereyouweretakingus,withyourmonkeys.
IthoughtIwasgoingtodineoutonthosemonkeys:
ButonecantdineoutoneatingChristians
Evenamongpagans!
ALEX:Notonthewholestory.
EDWARD:AndhaveanyoftheEnglishresidentsbeenmurdered?
ALEX:Yes,buttheyarenotusuallyeaten.
WhenthesepeoplehavedonewithaEuropean
Heis,asarule,nolongerfittoeat.
EDWARD:Andwhathasyourcommissionaccomplished?
ALEX:Wehavejustdrawnupaninterimreport.
EDWARD:Willitbemadepublic?
ALEX:Itcannotbe,atpresent:
Therearetoomanyinternationalcomplications.
Eventually,theremaybeanofficialpublication.
EDWARD:Butwhen?
ALEX:Inayearortwo.
EDWARD:Andmeanwhile?
ALEX:Meanwhilethemonkeysmultiply.
LAVINIA:AndtheChristians?
ALEX:Ah,theChristians!Now,IthinkIoughttotellyou
Aboutsomeoneyouknoworknew...
JULIA:Edward!
Somebodymusthavewalkedovermygrave:
Imfeelingsochilly.Givemesomegin.
Notacocktail.ImfreezinginJuly!
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
CATERERSMAN:Mr.Quilpe!
EDWARD:Nowwho...
[Enterpeter.]
Why,itsPeter!
LAVINIA:Peter!
PETER:Hullo,everybody!
LAVINIA:Whendidyouarrive?
PETER:IflewoverfromNewYorklastnight
IleftLosAngelesthreedaysago.
IsawSheilaPaisleyatlunchtoday
Andshetoldmeyouweregivingaparty
Shescomingonlater,aftertheGunnings
SoIsaid,Ireallymustcrashin:
ItsmyonlychancetoseeEdwardandLavinia.
Imonlyoverforaweek,yousee,
AndImdrivingdowntothecountrythisevening,
SoIknewyouwouldntmindmylookinginsoearly.
ItdoesseemagessinceIlastsawanyofyou!
Andhowareyou,Alex?AnddearoldJulia!
LAVINIA:SoyouvejustcomefromNewYork.
PETER:Yeah,fromNewYork.
TheBologolomskyssawmeoff.
YourememberPrincessBologolomsky
Intheolddays?Wedinedtheothernight
AttheSaffronMonkey.Thatstheplacetogonow.
ALEX:Howveryodd.Mymonkeysaresaffron.
PETER:Yourmonkeys,Alex?Ialwayssaid
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ThatAlexkneweverybody.ButIdidntknow
Thatheknewanymonkeys.
JULIA:Butgiveusyournews;
Giveusyournewsoftheworld,Peter.
Weleadsuchaquietlife,hereinLondon.
PETER:Youalwaysdidenjoyalegpull,Julia:
ButyouallknowImworkingforPanAmEagle?
EDWARD:No.Tellus,whatisPanAmEagle?
PETER:Youmusthavebeenlivingaquietlife!
Dontyougotothemovies?
LAVINIA:Occasionally.
PETER:Alexknows.
Didyouseemylastpicture,Alex?
ALEX:Iknewaboutit,butIdidntseeit.
ThereisnocinemainKinkanja.
PETER:Kinkanja?Wheresthat?Theydonthavepictures?
PanAmEaglemustlookintothis.
Perhapsitwouldbeagoodplacetomakeone.
AlexknowsallaboutPanAmEagle:
ItwashewhointroducedmetothegreatBela.
JULIA:AndwhoisthegreatBela?
PETER:Why,BelaSzogody
Hesmyboss.Ithoughteveryoneknewhisname.
JULIA:IsheyourconnectioninCalifornia,Alex?
ALEX:Yes,wehavesometimesobligedeachother.
PETER:Well,itwasBelasentmeover
Justforaweek.AndIhavemyhandsfull.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Imgoingdowntonight,toBoltwell.
JULIA:TostaywiththeDuke?
PETER:Anddohimagoodturn.
WeremakingafilmofEnglishlife
AndwewanttouseBoltwell.
JULIA:ButIunderstoodthatBoltwell
Isinaverydecayedcondition.
PETER:Exactly.Itis.Andthatswhywereinterested.
ThemostdecayednoblemansioninEngland!
Atleast,ofanythatarestillinhabited.
Wevegotateamofexpertsover
Tostudythedecay,soastoreproduceit.
ThenwebuildanotherBoltwellinCalifornia.
JULIA:Butwhatisyourposition,Peter?
Haveyoubecomeanexpertondecayinghouses?
PETER:Ohdearno!Ivewrittenthescriptofthisfilm,
AndBelaisverypleasedwithit.
HethoughtIshouldseetheoriginalBoltwell;
Andbesides,hethoughtthatasImEnglish
Ioughttoknowthebestwaytohandleaduke.
Besidesthat,wevegotthecastingdirector:
HeslookingforsometypicalEnglishfaces
Ofcourse,onlyforminorparts
AndIllhelphimdecidewhatfacesaretypical.
JULIA:Peter,Ivethoughtofawonderfulidea!
IvealwayswantedtogotoCalifornia:
Couldntyoupersuadeyourcastingdirector
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Totakeusallover?Wereallverytypical.
PETER:No,Imafraid...
CATERERSMAN:SirHenryHarcourtReilly!
JULIA:Oh,Iforgot!Idanothersurpriseforyou.
[Enterreilly.]
IwantyoutomeetSirHenryHarcourtReilly
EDWARD:Weredelightedtoseehim.Butwehavemetbefore.
JULIA:Thenifyouknowhimalready,youwontbeafraidofhim.
Youknow,Iwasafraidofhimatfirst:
Helookssoforbidding...
REILLY:MydearJulia,
Youaregivingmeaverybadintroduction
Supposingthatanintroductionwasnecessary.
JULIA:MydearHenry,youareinterruptingme.
LAVINIA:IfyoucaninterruptJulia,SirHenry,
Youaretheperfectguestwevebeenwaitingfor.
REILLY:IshouldnotdreamoftryingtointerruptJulia...
JULIA:Butyourebothinterrupting!
REILLY:Whoisinterruptingnow?
JULIA:Nowmyheadsfairlyspinning.Imusthaveacocktail.
EDWARD[ToREILLY]:Andwillyouhaveacocktail?
REILLY:MightIhaveaglassofwater?
EDWARD:Anythingwithit?
REILLY:Nothing,thankyou.
LAVINIA:MayIintroduceMr.PeterQuilpe?
SirHenryHarcourtReilly.Petersanoldfriend
Ofmyhusbandandmyself.Oh,Iforgot[TurningtoALEX]
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Iratherassumedthatyoukneweachother
IdontknowwhyIshould.Mr.MacColgieGibbs.
ALEX:Indeed,yes,wehavemet.
REILLY:Onseveralcommissions.
JULIA:Wevebeenhavingsuchaninterestingconversation.
PetersjustoverfromCalifornia
Wherehessomethingveryimportantinfilms.
HesmakingafilmofEnglishlife
Andhesgoingtofindpartsforallofus.Thinkofit!
PETER:But,Julia,Iwasjustabouttoexplain
ImafraidIcantfindpartsforanybody
Inthisfilmitsnotmybusiness;
Andthatsnotthewaywedoit.
JULIA:But,Peter;
IfyouretakingBoltwelltoCalifornia
Whycantyoutakeme?
PETER:WerenottakingBoltwell.
WereconstructaBoltwell.
JULIA:Verywell,then:
Whynotreconstructme?Itsverymuchcheaper.
Ohdear,Icanseeyouredeterminednottohaveme.
PETER:Youknowyoudnevercomeifweinvitedyou.
ButtheressomeoneIwantedtoaskabout,
Whodidreallywanttogetintofilms,
AndIalwaysthoughtshecouldmakeasuccessofit
Ifsheonlygotthechance.ItsCeliaCoplestone.
Shealwayswantedto.AndnowIcouldhelpher.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
IvealreadyspokentoBelaabouther,
AndIwanttointroducehertoourcastingdirector.
Ivegotanideaforanotherfilm.
Canyoutellmewheresheis?Icouldntfindher
Inthetelephonedirectory.
JULIA:Notinthedirectory,
Orinanydirectory.Youcantellthemnow,Alex.
LAVINIA:WhatdoesJuliamean?
ALEX:Iwasabouttospeakofher
Whenyoucamein,Peter.ImafraidyoucanthaveCelia.
PETER:Oh...Isshemarried?
ALEX:Notmarried,butdead.
LAVINIA:Celia?
ALEX:Dead.
PETER:Dead.Thatknocksthebottomoutofit.
EDWARD:Celiadead.
JULIA:Youhadbettertellthem,Alex,
ThenewsthatyoubringbackfromKinkanja.
LAVINIA:Kinkanja?WhatwasCeliadoinginKinkanja?
Weheardthatshehadjoinedsomenursingorder...
ALEX:Shehadjoinedanorder.Averyaustereone.
Andasshealreadyhadexperienceofnursing...
LAVINIA:Yes,shehadbeenaV.A.D.Iremember.
ALEX:ShewasdirectedtoKinkanja,
Wheretherearevariousendemicdiseases
Besides,ofcourse,thosebroughtbyEuropeans,
Andwheretheconditionsarefavourabletoplague.
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EDWARD:Goon.
ALEX:Itseemsthattherewerethreeofthem
Threesistersatthisstation,inaChristianvillage;
Andhalfthenativesweredyingofpestilence.
Theymusthavebeenoverworkedforweeks.
EDWARD:Andthen?
ALEX:Andthen,theinsurrectionbrokeout
Amongtheheathen,ofwhichIwastellingyou.
Theyknewofit,butwouldnotleavethedyingnatives.
Eventually,twoofthemescaped:
Onediedinthejungle,andtheother
Willneverbefitfornormallifeagain.
ButCeliaCoplestone,shewastaken.
Whenourpeoplegotthere,theyquestionedthevillagers
Thosewhosurvived.Andthentheyfoundherbody,
Oratleast,theyfoundthetracesofit.
EDWARD:Butbeforethat...
ALEX:Itwasdifficulttotell.
Butfromwhatweknowoflocalpractices
Itwouldseemthatshemusthavebeencrucified
Verynearananthill.
LAVINIA:ButCelia!...ofallpeople...
EDWARD:Andjustforahandfulofplaguestrickennatives
Whowouldhavediedanyway.
ALEX:Yes,thepatientsdiedanyway;
Beingtaintedwiththeplague,theywerenoteaten.
LAVINIA:Oh,Edward,Imsosorrywhatafeeblethingtosay!
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
ButyouknowwhatImean.
EDWARD:AndyouknowwhatImthinking
PETER:Idontunderstandatall.ButthenIvebeenaway
Fortwoyearsanddontknowwhathappened
ToCelia,duringthosetwoyears.
Twoyears!ThinkingaboutCelia.
EDWARD:ItsthewastethatIresent.
PETER:YouknowmorethanIdo:
Forme,itseverythingelsethatsawaste.
Twoyears!Anditwasallamistake.
Julia!Whydontyousayanything?
JULIA:Yougaveherthosetwoyears,asbestyoucould.
PETER:Whendidshe...takeupthiscareer?
JULIA:Twoyearsago.
PETER:Twoyearsago!Itriedtoforgetabouther,
UntilIbegantothinkmyselfasuccess
Andgotalittlemoreselfconfidence;
AndthenIthoughtaboutheragain.Moreandmore
AtfirstIdidnotwanttoknowaboutCelia
AndsoIneverasked.ThenIwantedtoknow
Anddidnotdaretoask.Ittookallmycourage
Toaskyouaboutherjustnow;butIneverthought
Ofanythinglikethis.IsupposeIdidntknowher,
Ididntunderstandher.Iunderstandnothing.
REILLY:Youunderstandyourmtier,Mr.Quilpe
Whichisthemostthatanyofuscanaskfor.
PETER:Andwhatamtier!Ivetriedtobelieveinit
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
SothatImightbelieveinmyself.
IthoughtIhadideastomakearevolution
Inthecinema,thatnoonecouldignore
ButhereIam,makingasecondratefilm!
ButIthoughtitwasgoingtoleadtosomethingbetter,
Andthatseemedpossible,whileCeliawasalive.
Iwantedit,believedinit,forCelia.
And,ofcourse,IwantedtodosomethingforCelia
Butwhatmatteredwas,thatCeliawasalive.
Andnowitsallworthless.Celiasnotalive.
LAVINIA:No,itsnotallworthless,Peter.Youveonlyjustbegun.
Imean,thisonlybringsyoutothepoint
Atwhichyoumustbegin.Youweresayingjustnow
ThatyouneverknewCelia.Wenoneofusdid.
WhatyouvebeenlivingonisanimageofCelia
Whichyoumadeforyourself,tomeetyourownneeds.
Peter,pleasedontthinkImbeingunkind...
PETER:No,Idontthinkyourebeingunkind,Lavinia;
AndIknowthatyoureright.
LAVINIA:AndperhapswhatIvebeensaying
WillseemlessunkindifIcanmakeyouunderstand
ThatinfactIvebeentalkingaboutmyself.
EDWARD:Laviniaisright.Thisiswhereyoustartfrom.
Ifyoufindoutnow,Peter,thingsaboutyourself
Thatyoudontliketoface:well,justremember
Thatsomemenhavetolearnmuchworsethings
Aboutthemselves,andlearnthemlater
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Whenitshardertorecover,andmakeanewbeginning.
Itsnotsohardforyou.Yourenaturallygood.
PETER:Imsorry.IdontbelieveIvetakenin
Allthatyouvebeensaying.ButImgratefulallthesame.
Youknow,allthetimethatyouvebeentalking,
Onethoughthasbeengoingroundandroundinmyhead
ThatIveonlybeeninterestedinmyself:
AndthatisntgoodenoughforCelia.
JULIA:Youmusthavelearnedhowtolookatpeople,Peter,
Whenyoulookedatthemwithaneyeforthefilms:
Thatis,whenyourenotconcernedwithyourself
Butjustbeinganeye.YouwillcometothinkofCelia
Likethat,oneday.Andthenyoullunderstandher
Andbereconciled,andbehappyinthethoughtofher.
LAVINIA:SirHenry,thereissomethingIwanttosaytoyou.
WhileAlexwastellinguswhathappenedtoCelia
Iwaslookingatyourface.Anditseemedfromyourexpression
Thatthewayinwhichshedieddidnotdisturbyou
Orthefactthatshediedbecauseshewouldnotleave
Afewdyingnatives.
REILLY:Whoknows,Mrs.Chamberlayne,
Thedifferencethatmadetothenativeswhoweredying
Orthestateofmindinwhichtheydied?
LAVINIA:Imwillingtograntthat.Whatstruckme,though,
Wasthatyourfaceshowednosurpriseorhorror
Atthewayinwhichshedied.Idontknowifyouknewher.
Isuspectyoudid.Inanycaseyouknewabouther;
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YetIthoughtyourexpressionwasoneof...satisfaction!
REILLY:Mrs.Chamberlayne,Imustbeverytransparent
Orelseyouareveryperceptive.
JULIA:Oh,Henry!
Laviniaismuchmoreobservantthanyouthink.
Ibelievethatshehasforcedyoutoashowdown.
REILLY:Youstatethepositioncorrectly,Julia.
DoyoumindifIquotepoetry,Mrs.Chamberlayne?
LAVINIA:Ohno,Ishouldlovetohearyouspeakingpoetry...
JULIA:Shehasmadeapoint,Henry.
LAVINIA:...ifitanswersmyquestion.
REILLY:EreBabylonwasdust
ThemagusZoroaster,mydeadchild,
Methisownimagewalkinginthegarden.
Thatapparition,soleofmen,hesaw.
Forknowtherearetwoworldsoflifeanddeath:
Onethatwhichthoubeholdest;buttheother
Isunderneaththegrave,wheredoinhabit
Theshadowsofallformsthatthinkandlive
Tilldeathunitethemandtheypartnomore.
WhenIfirstmetMissCoplestone,inthisroom,
Isawtheimage,standingbehindherchair,
OfaCeliaCoplestonewhosefaceshowedtheastonishment
Ofthefirstfiveminutesafteraviolentdeath.
Ifthisstrainsyourcredulity,Mrs.Chamberlayne,
Iaskyouonlytoentertainthesuggestion
Thatasuddenintuition,incertainminds,
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Maytendtoexpressitselfatonceinapicture.
Thathappenstome,sometimes.Soitwasobvious
Thatherewasawomanundersentenceofdeath.
Thatwasherdestiny.Theonlyquestion
Thenwas,whatsortofdeath?Icouldnotknow;
Becauseitwasforhertochoosethewayoflife
Toleadtodeath,and,withoutknowingtheend
Yetchoosetheformofdeath.Weknowthedeathshechose.
Ididnotknowthatshewoulddieinthisway,
Shedidnotknow.SoallthatIcoulddo
Wastodirectherinthewayofpreparation.
Thatway,whichsheaccepted,ledtothisdeath.
Andifthatisnotahappydeath,whatdeathishappy?
EDWARD:Doyoumeanthathavingchosenthisformofdeath
Shedidnotsufferasordinarypeoplesuffer?
REILLY:NotatallwhatImean.Ratherthecontrary.
Idsaythatshesufferedallthatweshouldsuffer
Infearandpainandloathingallthesetogether
Andreluctanceofthebodytobecomeathing.
Idsayshesufferedmore,becausemoreconscious
Thantherestofus.Shepaidthehighestprice
Insuffering.Thatispartofthedesign.
LAVINIA:Perhapsshehadbeenthroughgreateragonybeforehand.
ImeanIknownothingofherlasttwoyears.
REILLY:Thatshowssomeinsightonyourpart,Mrs.Chamberlayne;
Butsuchexperiencecanonlybehintedat
Inmythsandimages.Tospeakaboutit
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Wetalkofdarkness,labyrinths,Minotaurterrors.
Butthatworlddoesnottaketheplaceofthisone.
DoyouimaginethattheSaintinthedesert
Withspiritualevilalwaysathisshoulder
Sufferedanylessfromhunger,damp,exposure,
Boweltrouble,andthefearoflions,
Coldofthenightandheatoftheday,thanweshould?
EDWARD:Butifthiswasrightifthiswasright,forCelia
Theremustbesomethingelsethatisterriblywrong,
Andtherestofusaresomehowinvolvedinthewrong.
Ishouldonlyspeakformyself.ImsurethatIam.
REILLY:Letmefreeyourmindfromoneimpediment:
Youmusttrytodetachyourselffromwhatyoustillfeel
Asyourresponsibility.
EDWARD:Icannothelpthefeeling
That,insomeway,myresponsibility
Isgreaterthanthatofabandofhalfcrazedsavages.
LAVINIA:Oh,Edward,Iknew!Iknewwhatyouwerethinking!
Doesntithelpyou,thatIfeelguiltytoo?
REILLY:Ifweallwerejudgedaccordingtotheconsequences
Ofallourwordsanddeeds,beyondtheintention
Andbeyondourlimitedunderstanding
Ofourselvesandothers,weshouldallbecondemned.
Mrs.Chamberlayne,Ioftenhavetomakeadecision
Whichmaymeanrestorationorruintoapatient
AndsometimesIhavemadethewrongdecision.
AsforMissCoplestone,becauseyouthinkherdeathwaswaste
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Youblameyourselves,andbecauseyoublameyourselves
Youthinkherlifewaswasted.Itwastriumphant.
ButIamnomoreresponsibleforthetriumph
Andjustasresponsibleforherdeathasyouare.
LAVINIA:YetIknowIshallgoonblamingmyself
Forbeingsounkindtoher...sospiteful.
Ishallgoonseeingheratthemoment
Whenshesaidgoodbyetous,twoyearsago.
EDWARD:Yourresponsibilityisnothingtomine,Lavinia.
LAVINIA:Imnotsureaboutthat.IfIhadunderstoodyou
ThenImightnothavemisunderstoodCelia.
REILLY:Youwillhavetolivewiththesememoriesandmakethem
Intosomethingnew.Onlybyacceptance
Ofthepastwillyoualteritsmeaning.
JULIA:Henry,IthinkitistimethatIsaidsomething.
Everyonemakesachoice,ofonekindoranother,
Andthenmusttaketheconsequences.Celiachose
AwayofwhichtheconsequencewasKinkanja.
PeterchoseawaythatleadshimtoBoltwell:
Andhesgottogothere.
PETER:Iseewhatyoumean.
IwishIdidnthaveto.Butthecarwillbewaiting,
AndtheexpertsIdalmostforgottenthem.
IrealizethatIcantgetoutofit
WhatelsecanIdo?
ALEX:Itisyourfilm.
AndIknowthatBelaexpectsgreatthingsofit.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
PETER:SonowIllbegoing.
EDWARD:Shallweseeyouagain,Peter,
BeforeyouleaveEngland?
LAVINIA:Dotrytocometoseeus.
Youknow,Ithinkitwoulddousallgood
YouandmeandEdward...totalkaboutCelia.
PETER:Thanksverymuch.Butnotthistime
Isimplyshantbeableto.
EDWARD:Butonyournextvisit?
PETER:ThenexttimeIcometoEngland,Ipromiseyou.
Ireallydowanttoseeyouboth,verymuch.
Goodbye,Julia.Goodbye,Alex.Goodbye,SirHenry.[Exit.]
JULIA:AndnowtheconsequenceoftheChamberlayneschoice
Isacocktailparty.Theymustbereadyforit.
Theirguestsmaybearrivingatanymoment.
REILLY:Julia,youareright.Itisalsoright
ThattheChamberlaynesshouldnowbegivingaparty.
LAVINIA:AndIhavebeenthinking,fortheselastfiveminutes,
HowIcouldfacemyguests.Iwishitwasover.
Imean...Iamgladyoucame...IamgladAlextoldus...
AndPeterhadtoknow...
EDWARD:NowIthinkIunderstand...
LAVINIA:ThenIhopeyouwillexplainittome!
EDWARD:Oh,itisntmuch
ThatIunderstandyet!ButSirHenryhasbeensaying.
Ithink,thateverymomentisafreshbeginning;
AndJulia,thatlifeisonlykeepingon;
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
Andsomehow,thetwoideasseemtofittogether.
LAVINIA:Butallthesame...Idontwanttoseethesepeople.
REILLY:Itisyourappointedburden.Andasfortheparty,
Iamsureitwillbeasuccess.
JULIA:AndIthink,Henry,
Thatweshouldleavebeforethepartybegins.
Theywillgetonbetterwithoutus.Youtoo,Alex.
LAVINIA:Wedontwantyoutogo!
ALEX:Wehaveanotherengagement.
REILLY:AndonthisoccasionIshallnotbeunexpected.
JULIA:Now,Henry.Now,Alex.WeregoingtotheGunnings.
[Exeuntjulia,reillyandalex.]
LAVINIA:Edward,howamIlooking?
EDWARD:Verywell.
Imightalmostsay,yourbest.Butyoualwayslookyourbest.
LAVINIA:Oh,Edward,thatspoilsit.Nowomancanbelieve
Thatshealwayslooksherbest.Yourerathertransparent,
Youknow,whenyouretryingtocheermeup.
TosayIalwayslookmybestcanonlymeantheworst.
EDWARD:Inevershalllearnhowtopayacompliment.
LAVINIA:Whatyoushouldhavedonewastoadmiremydress.
EDWARD:ButIvealreadytoldyouhowmuchIlikeit.
LAVINIA:Butsomuchhashappenedsincethen.Andbesides,
Onesometimeslikestohearthesamecomplimenttwice.
EDWARD:Andnowfortheparty.
LAVINIA:Nowfortheparty.
EDWARD:Itwillsoonbeover.
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TheCocktailParty ACOMEDY T.S.Eliot
LAVINIA:Iwishitwouldbegin.
EDWARD:Theresthedoorbell.
LAVINIA:Oh,Imglad.Itsbegun.
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