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600056097X
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Ll.

UT.
 THE

JOYS AND SORROWS

OF A

SCHOOLMASTER.

BY

ONE OF THEMSELVES.

LONDON:
W. ALLAN & Co., STATIONERS' HALL COURT.

J2J5D- **-- ~3/

 LONDON:
FBINTED BT J. WEKTIIEUIEIl AND CO.,
CIRCUS PLACE, FINSBOni CIRCUS.
 THE JOYS AND SORROWS OF
A SCHOOLMASTER.

CHAPTER I.

My name' is Peter Kaiser ; I am a Swiss Protestant

Schoolmaster; and, on the 31st July, 1836, I was lying in
bed, overwhelmed with gloom.
That same day, just after we had done breakfast, my
wife removed the coffee-pot and other things, leaving the
milk jug behind. I went after her to ask why she had not
taken that article away; for, though I am a lover of order,
it had not occurred to me to do so myself. But I did not
put the question. I found her sick, leaning, with one hand
on her breast, against the dresser on which the kitchen
utensils were ranged. I became alarmed, as it behoves a
good husband to be under such circumstances, and I
apprehensively besought her to tell me what was the
matter. As soon as she recovered breath enough to speak
freely, she asked me in her turn, " what was likely to be
the matter with her ?"
With an abortive attempt at a smile, I questioned no
further, merely remarking that I hoped she might be mis
taken, and, somewhat perplexed, stumbled from the kitchen
to the front door. There one of the police officials handed
me a letter from the School Commissary, in which I was
requested to call upon him at two o'clock precisely, as he
had a communication to make me.
" Good," thought I, " he wants to tell me on what scale
. 4 JOTS AND SORROWS

I have been rated, and what increase of stipend I am to

expect in future." I felt better at once, almost leaped for
joy, and would have given the messenger a batzen, had I
happened to have such a thing about me.
The fact is, the Federal Council, at the suggestion of
the Board of Education, had awarded, at one time, a sum
of 40,000 Swiss francs, and, at another, a further sum of
50,000, for the purpose of subsidizing the schoolmasters.
Inspectors had, in consequence, been roving about the
country to find out who, on account of superior attain
ments, were entitled to a share in these grants. The
examiners being sagacious well-informed men went very
courteously through their proceedings. I considered that
I had come off very fairly indeed, and had often so framed
my replies that they had nothing whatever to say to them.
A peasant, who was present, agreed with me in supposing
that I had undergone the ordeal beautifully ; and I told my
wife, when I went home, that I had sent two or three
bullets right into the bull's eye.
We were now in daily expectation of receiving a lot of
the money, but every day in vain. We could have made
very good use of some of it just then; and, in the hope
that it would soon arrive, I had procured my wife some
flannel for her domestic purposes, which was still owing to
the draper, who would have been very glad of his money.
The gold and silver apples hung close to our mouths,
and we opened them wide very wide but they did
not fall into them ; they were reposing quietly in the state
bank ; and, though our desires had been greatly excited,
our sacks were still empty. I had often seen my children
hold out a piece of bread to the cat, and when the animal
made a snap at it, they pulled it away. The cat, getting
angry, snarled and scratched ; the children then cried and
complained. On these occasions, I scolded the children
instead of beating the cat, proving to them very forcibly
that it was unmerciful first to excite a desire and then
wantonly delay its satisfaction. Representing to them how
they themselves would feel, if food were placed before them
in the morning and they were not allowed to eat it till the
evening, I asked them whether they would not deem it a
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 0

sorry comfort to be told to remain quiet and patient, for

they would have it sooner or later. My children by
degrees comprehending the illustration carried their pranks
no further.
Probably the gentlemen who had set us a longing had
neither children nor cats to experiment upon, and had
made use of us instead, and they had very little compassion
on their victims ; for, when urged by the murmurings of
our empty stomachs, we complained of the delay, they only
remonstrated with us on our carnal longings.
It may, therefore, be readily imagined how ovegoyed I
was on receiving the letter. Not liking to wait, like a
child on new year's morning, to know how much I was to
obtain, I ran into the kitchen to announce to my wife our
good luck, which, however, I could only describe as an
unknown quantity. Pressing her to put the last piece of
meat we had in the house into the soup, I said it would do
her good, and that she might set her mind at ease as to
the rest. Then I took my little pot of hot water for
shaving, a part of which I spilt on my hand, and, with
scalded fingers, made two or three gashes on my chin ; but,
as I actually vibrated with joy, felt not the slightest pain,
tranquilly covering the wounds with plasters of tinder.
This being Sunday morning, as I was precentor in the
church by virtue of my office as schoolmaster, I went to the
minister for the psalms. When the heart is full, the
tongue is relaxed; and I spoke to his reverence of my
anticipated elevation. The announcement did seem to
afford him pleasure, a circumstance that astonished me
very much ; for we believed the clergy grudged us better
pay, and that it was owing to them we had not long before
had an increase of stipend. How this notion had entered
into our minds, I do not exactly know ; for, on the other
side, I had often heard the farmers say they could never
satisfy the clergy as to what they gave towards the schools
and salaries of the schoolmasters.
At church, unfortunately, the minister gave out the
psalm in mol, which annoyed me greatly, as my spirits were
too elated to sing in a grave tone, and the organist more
over played unusually slow. I could not for the life of me
6 JOTS AND SORROWS

keep the time in mol, and sang the hymn of praise accord
ing to the tone of my own heart, high and quick, as the
blood sped merrily through my veins.
The result of this was a singular medley, which caused
a good deal of talk, there being a doubt as to who was to
blame. I sang on in lively strain without observing that
the organist was gradually falling behind me, though he
sometimes looked angrily across his shoulder. That part
of the congregation who happened to be in a good humour
followed me, whilst those who had cares to trouble them
lingered behind with the organist. The minister, who is no
great hero in music, tried to keep pace sometimes with the
one and sometimes with the other, not knowing very well
what to make of the difference. It was not till I arrived
at the end of the psalm, and with my co-singers was silent,
that I noticed the playing and singing still continued.
Then all at once I awoke from my day-dream, and stared
in my turn at the organist with a look expressive of my
surprise at his mistake ; but he paid no attention whatever
to my signals of displeasure.
What the subject of the minister's discourse that day
was, I am unable to say; and you, good people, will
perhaps pardon a poor schoolmaster for his shortcomings
in this respect, when you reflect that he had only eighty
Swiss francs a-year, and five healthy children, but who
now thought himself on the point of obtaining a share of
90,000. Oh ! could ycu look into such a heart and be
hold how the pleasing anticipations crowd, and swarm,
and throng, hurrying and devouring each other, in a manner
scarcely conceivable. To form an idea of such a state of
things, put a glass of vinegar, modern fashion, under a
magnifying glass, and witness the world of animalcula?
thronging about, annihilating and re-producing each other
in never-ceasing activity. First come to the surface debts
to be paid ; these are swallowed by a thousand pressing
necessities that present themselves in manifold variety,
from deficiencies in the supply of children's stockings to
the over-bed that wanted a new covering ; in turn, these
give way to a whole flood of wants that roll up dense and
dark, overspreading the entire horizon of the thoughts.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 7

Ah ! the multitude of desires that spring up in the

mind of a schoolmaster, with eighty francs a-year and five
children ! How infinitely varied are the things he has had
to do without, from a new pipe up to that book which con
tains all that he might want 2nd all that he might yet need
to know !
I,was quite frightened when the people rose up, for it
was absolutely not till then I recollected being present at a
sermon. Had I been asleep and set a bad example ?
Collecting myself I joined devoutly in the prayer, and this
time kept better pace with the organist.
At home, my wife had never seemed so slow in getting
dinner ready; but, on the other hand, never did I enjoy
the meal better than this day. The good lady cast a
doleful look at her last piece of meat, whilst I, merry as a
cricket, was playing the fool with the children. At last
she said to me, " Peter, dear, if I were you, I would not sell
the hide till I caught the bear." I wiped my mouth,laughed
at her, tied on my very best neckcloth, and started off.
Speeding on the wings of expectation, I was at the place of
my destination long before two o'clock ; but I could not
then see the commissary, for he was still engaged ex
amining the school-children.
The hearty dinner and the quick walk had made me
thirsty and excited a desire within me to take a drink of
something, an inclination, under ordinary circumstances, I
should have repressed ; for I hold it wrong in a man to
indulge himself whilst his wife had to say to the children
at home, when they ask for a slice of bread, " No, better
wait a bit, and you will have some potatoes." With the
exception of six kreutzers left with my wife, I had all the
ready money we possessed, which consisted of four batzen
and a half. That is not much ; but still, I thought, a man
who expected a share of 90,000 francs, might spare a
choppin out of it.
On'entering the parlour of the inn, I noticed a number
of people making merry in a private room; and, before I
had ordered my choppin, some one called out: "Hallo,
Kaiser, have a glass with me."
A schoolmaster, and one especially who has only four
8 JUTS AND SORROWS

batzen and a half in his pocket, is not very likely to demur

to accepting such an invitation ; but he goes to see who
offers it, and so did I. The speaker was an under-teacher
of the place, who, beaming with joy, sat at the head of a
table addressing his guests as the giver of a feast.
Ordering a chair to be brought in for me, he asked me to
sit down and help myself to whatever I liked. I had dined so
well that I could not eat, but did not refuse a glass of wine,
wondering all the time how a person in his position could
manage to behave in so extravagant a style.
From the appearance of the persons seated at the tahle,
I judged that a christening was being celebrated. Calling
to mind that the under-teacher had been married not long
before, I concluded that he was now rejoicing over the advent
of his first-born. The fool, thought I, fancies his baby to be
the eighth wonder of the world, and is probably forming
schemes and projects to secure for it at least the rank of a
School Commissary. The goose does not seem to know
that all fathers have the same opinion about their first boy ;
but the fifth or sixth materially alters the state of affairs ;
humbly and dolefully they then take the lowest seat at
table, and, on the appearance of the eighth or ninth, they
feel inclined to slip under it altogether. I was not destined
to remain long in ignorance, as to the true cause of my
host's exultation, and the reason why the best of every
thing had been placed on the table.
" You are on your way to the commissary's, are you
not :" said he. " Well, I wish he may have as good news
for you as he had for me. I am in a rapture of delight.
As we came out of church to-day, he told me I had been
classed at 300 francs a year, and 1 thought on the
reception of such gratifying news I might enjoy myself and
friends a little."
I readily admitted he was justified in so doing, and my
own position seemed no longer black, but began to assume
a pink and rosy hue; for, thought I, when such a stripling,
who has scarcely escaped from his teens, and has had no
phere to test his capabilities beyond the Normal School,
has been nominated to 300 francs a year what ought I
not to look forward to, who, besides being forty years of age,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 9

had kept a school for nearly a quarter of a century and

had commenced with very fair testimonials ?
I felt my limbs tingle all over and had some difficulty
in keeping my legs at rest under the table ; but I could
not get away, toast following toast in rapid succession. I
knew that the commissary would now be disengaged and
that the hour of my appointment was long past. At last
I made my escape, somewhat top-heavy owing to the wine
I had drunk, and the bright hopes with which I had
been inspired. On leaving, I promised to look in as 1
returned and report my success ; then with long strides I
hastened to learn what estimate had been formed of my
abilities.
When I arrived, the commissary was walking up and down
in front of his house, enjoying his afternoon whiff.
Greeting me kindly, he expressed a hope that I had been
put to no inconvenience; "for," said he, "you would be
pretty sure to learn the news that I have to give you soon
enough."
" That is a curious remark," thought I to myself.
" Yes," he continued, " I am sorry for you and some
others, that things have turned cut as they have done. I
cannot comprehend what they are about at Berne ; but
such is always the way with people who imagine they
possess infinite wisdom."
"The old gentleman is a little addle-pated," thought I;
" for, if the councillors at Berne who allowed 300 francs a
year to our under-teacher by way of a beginning, have
endowed me in anything like the same proportion, that is
as much wisdom as I could reasonably expect them to
possess ; it would be barefaced to look for more."
"What, then, Mr. Commissary, have they done?" I
enquired" Very likely they have acted to the best of their
ability, and people such as we are easily satisfied ; enough to
keep awny misery is all we want."
" Just so," rejoined the commissary, " and you will not
have that for some time to come, I fear, if things go on as
they are doing now. What you say is the reason why I
regret to communicate to you the intelligence I have
received. The authorities have not granted you an aug
10 JOTS AND SORROWS

mentation of salary, and have placed you in the class to

which they cannot allow a stipend of 150 francs. But on
amending your qualifications, you are at liberty to make a
fresh application, and, so far, you may consider yourself
fortunate, for had you been a single month older, at the
date of your examination, you would have been declared
incapable of improvement."
On hearing this statement, I stood staring with open
mouth, and for a time could neither shut that nor move
my tongue. At length I managed to stammer out, " I
hope things are not so bad as you say."
" Unfortunately," replied the commissary, " they are
exactly as I have described them, and I can let you see
the declaration in black and white if such is your wish."
I would gladly have stayed, and vented my affliction
there and then, and at the same time asked whether any
thing could be done to alter the decision ; but I observed
the old gentleman was as much pained at my disappoint
ment as I was myself.
With heavy and over-burdened heart I moved discon
solately away. I did not keep the promise I had made to
return and let the merry-makers know how I had fared.
Who will blame me, if I did not choose to parade my dis
grace before the under-teacher and his friends ?
I should gladly have welcomed a sympathising heart,
into which I could have poured out my sorrows and my
woes, but none such crossed my path. Heavily oppressed,
I felt as if I were walking knee-deep in mud, and a sheathing
of lead incased all my members. Every man I met startled
me, fearing he might see by my appearance that I was a
schoolmaster who had been deemed unworthy 150 Swiss
francs a year.
To avoid a group of bowlers, I slunk into the shade of
a pine wood, where everything -was as gloomy as my own
thoughts. My distress rose up like a spectre before me,
expanding and becoming more fearful as I advanced.
Throwing myself down, I hid my face in the damp moss
and wept bitterly, everything within and around me seeming
dark, woeful, and hopeless.
Ah, my fellow creatures in adversity, should you desire
 OF A SCHOOI.MASTl.lt. 11

that your tears may dry up, do not press your eyes on the
bosom of the earth. Lift them upwards, thither where
the sun shines, the stars sparkle like bright witnesses of
the Everlasting Light, that can transform sorrow into
eternal joy. Those visible signs in the heavens affect the
mind; and by some unknown impulse dispose it to cheer
fulness and comfort. Let not the soul, therefore, descend
into the abyss of hopelessness by looking downwards.
The bright luminaries that adorn the firmament have not
been placed there merely to vivify the earth ; avoid them
not, let them penetrate through the eye to the inmost
recesses of the heart; you will thus the better discern the
ways that lead to God's grace, and pursue them with
greater courage and more constancy.
I neglected to follow this course of action myself, and
consequently felt the pangs of grief all the more bitterly.
Whilst brooding over my miseries the sun went down, and
the stars were hidden behind the clouds. Thus, owing to
the obscurity without and the darkness within, I could
scarcely find my way home.
The path I had taken led post a large house brilliantly
lit up, the windows of which were open, and a number of
people clustered about them, whilst the room within seemed
crowded to overflowing, and a loud, hoarse voice became
audible. I wondered what was going on, and being con
vinced that I could not be recognised, stopped to listen ;
but the words were too disjointed to admit of being con
nected. That a meeting was here assembled for some
purpose was clear enough, whether spiritual or secular
there were no means of determining.
Two persons conversing in the immediate vicinity of the
place where I stood afforded a clue to the mystery.
" Yes, Kate," said a voice, " you cannot think how
well we fare since my husband has become a clergyman ;
that is a much better occupation than a cobbler's. Now
we have things just as we like to have them, and better
eating than usually falls to the share of peasants. Though
he continues to give me a beating occasionally, and treats
me otherwise very badly ; still that is all much more easily
borne when the stomach is full of ham and cake than when
the diet is watergruel and potatoes."
12 JOTS AND SORROWS

Under other circumstances, I should have laughed at

such a curious phase of domestic life; at present, I felt
fortune had treated these people much better than myself,
and that they had much more reason to laugh than I had.
The nearer I approached home the more downcast I
became. What, thought I, would my wife say to the sad
result of my day's expedition? Should I at once confess
what had transpired, or conceal it for a time ? 1 pitied my
poor wife all the more sincerely, dreading that she might
really be as she hinted in the morning, though I still clung
to the hope that in this she might be mistaken.
It appeared to me singular, that an unfortunate school
master should in one day be baulked in his most cherished
expectations, and learn for a certainty that his burdens
were Jo be permanently increased.
Do not deem me unaffectionate, ye who read these lines.
I know v/ell that David calls children the blessings of God;
but he was a king, not a poor schoolmaster with 80 Swiss
francs a year. Well do I know, also, that a. blessing in
children may become, even to a poor schoolmaster, a real
God's gift, if he know how to presevere and remain stead
fast to the end. But it is this very persevering and
remaining steadfast under all circumstances, that consti
tutes the great difficulty. If actual distress is so hard to
bear that the man sinks under it, who will throw a stone
at him for allowing his heart to despond at the prospect
of a yet heavier burden ?
I had not altogether made up my mind what to say to
my dear little wife when I arrived at the house.
Peeping in at the window, I saw the children ranged
round the table singing a school-song, while their mother
was sitting in the stove corner, with her head leaning
down so that I could not tell whether she wept or was
asleep. This determined me to disguise the truth as long
as possible, by giving equivocal answers and feigning
cheerfulness.
Forcing a smile into my countenance, I entered the room
with a bold " God grant you all a good evening! " The
children started up exclaiming " Good evening, father;"
their mother, quickly drying her eyes, came forward and
 OF A SCHOOLMASTF.lt. 13

saying, " You are late," sat down at the table and then
added, "I know you would like something warm, and I
have got something for you."
In serving up the supper she asked no questions, but
looked acutely into my face, whilst I exerted myself to
joke with the children ; but I could not muster courage to
say, " Mother, things have turned out badly." When all
the children had gone to bed, she sat down by my side,
and said, " Now, am I not right, you have been un
successful ; and we have been too free with our meat."
I would not confess, but she absolutely refused to be
deceived, asserting that she knew me too well to be
mistaken in her impressions, and could tell by the first look
whether I felt easy or uneasy in mind. At last I had to
speak out and communicate the misery I felt to my good
little wife. She wept, and I tried to console her; but
found I was myself in a great deal more need of conso
lation than she was. Indeed, our attempts to mitigate
each other's sorrow only made the mutual grief more
apparent. Next we tried to form projects, resolving to
rise earlier and go later to rest; but on reckoning up, we
discovered this would not much mend matters, for my
hours of duty if increased would in no way augment the
pay-
Next we thought of scattering our children amongst the
good people who had promised to take charge of them.
This scheme pained us both so much that it was not dwelt
upon. After exhausting our stock of ideas, my wife
remarked that as it was getting late, and we were both
tired, and fatigued, we should go to bed.
To this I had no objections to urge, and after com
mending ourselves to God, the suggestion was adopted.
Sleep has, doubtless, been ordained by an All-wise Provi
dence, as a balm to the unfortunate ; my old mother used
to say, it was the great ocean in which poor people drowned
their miseries ; true, they always came up to the surface
again, but each time they were lighter.
Sleep, however, I could not. Gloomy thoughts haunted
me like evil spirits; a violent animosity arose within me
against the people who had placed so low an estimate upon
14 JOTS AND SORROWS

my attainments, and I felt strongly inclined to go to law

with them, and obtain justice in that way. At last sleep
came, and put an end to these contemplations.
But it only changed the current of my thoughts; the
phantoms of a vision took possession of my brain. I beheld
the door gently open and give entrance to a well-known
schoolmaster of the neighbourhood. He was a quarrelsome
fellow, short in stature, thin and wiry; his white hat thrust
deep over his eyes, and a large porcelain pipe with a straight
short stem in his mouth. Holding a long writing in his
hand, he placed himself, with his turned-up nose, right in
the centre of the room.
" Kaiser," said he, " I dare say you have fared very
much as I have done myself. I passed for a learned man,
always professed to be one, and people believed me. Now
the examiners came and placed me in a lower class. I felt
myself and the credit of the country injured by this proceed
ing. I thought the people would have risen and renounced
their obedience, on account of my having been treated in
such a scurvy manner. But no such thing ; they are a
pack of icicles and blockheads, afraid of the magnates
who are delighted at my disappointmentfor I am a great
deal too clever for them, and they have reason to dread me
more than a sword. No one put forward a foot in my
behalf. I believe most of the people think I have been
served right. Now I have drawn up a petition to the
supreme council, which I know to be composed of patriotic
men. I shall read it to you, for I want you to sign it ;
many others will be glad to do so, and be thankful to me
for taking the trouble off their hands, and for putting myself
forward in the breach."
The petition began by stating that the Board of Educa
tion demoralized the people, allowed the teachers to starve,
interfered with things they did not understand, and
squandered away the schoolmaster's subsidies. Next it
averred that the Government Council, by a treacherous
silence, showed itself perfectly ignorant of the art of govern
ing. Then came a variety of things about the clergy; how
they alone were favoured ; and how it would be acting
more wisely to pay teachers such salaries as the clergy had,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 15

since the former were of more service than the latter ;

adding that for aught the petitioner cared, they might
transfer the stipends of the schoolmasters to the clergy.
He (the petitioner) then spoke of the Superior Court, of
the reactionary proceedings, and of a great many other
things besides, that I did not very clearly understand. Then
came the conclusion, in which he demanded that the Grand
Council should appoint a commission to bring the accused
authorities to trial, and craved the councillors meanwhile to
suspend the Superior Covtrt, the Government Council, and
the Educational Board from all their functions, so that no
further mischief might ensue.
When he finished reading, he began to search for pen
and ink, so that I might sign the document.
At this moment another figure glided forward from a
corner of the room. How it had got in, I know not. I
heard as little of its steps as a mouse those of a cat. It
was that of a lean man, with a red face and a remarkable
nose. In one hand it held a good-sized cake, and in the
other a bottle. It stood behind the schoolmaster, and
shook its head very vigorously, making a variety of con
temptuous movements with the cake, and at last began to
speak, but in such a way that the other did not hear a
word.
" Kaiser," began the figure, " I have heard of your dis
appointment, and have come to condole with you. Behold
this bottle. It contains old apple brandy of 1834, that will
always refresh you, and the bottle will never get empty. Do
not listen to that envious fellow there ; envy is but a sorry
passion at the best. As for railing against the clergy,
that is merely silly ; disappointed men are very apt to do
that. There are, no doubt, covetous, headstrong, bigoted,
and even ignorant men in the Church, as well as in every
other profession ; but, if the examiners have rated your
abilities too low, and those of others too high, they alone
Me to blamenot the clergy, the Superior Court, the
Government Council, or the Board of Education. Never
theless there is good fortune in store for you yet, in spite
of the mistaken inspectors. A time will come when pre
sents will be showered upon you, like manna in the desert.
16 JOYS AND SORROWS

Coming home, your knapsack will be always full, and you will
be able to feed your children like young ravens in the brook.
Many a joy you will possess, of which I will not speak now.
You will be extolled over mountain and valley ; ladders
will be placed against your chimney, and hams and sausages
will abound in your kitchen ; all your miseries will then be
at an end. Therefore be of good cheer, and eat a slice of
my cake, and drink a glass of my brandy, instead of signing
envious petitions."
Meantime, the schoolmaster, who had struck a light, lit
his extinguished pipe, and found the pens and ink. Ad
vancing towards me, he presented the petition for my sig
nature, just as the other handed me a glass of his brandy ;
and there I lay, doubtful which to accept.
I felt extremely weak, and wavered between the two,
like a reed in the blast. I could not well refuse to sign
the petition of the little schoolmaster, for, small as he was,
I feared him a great deal. When angry, he was like a wild
cat tied to a rope, and, under such circumstances, highly
dangerous. Yet I was reluctant to append my signature ;
for I knew the little man might, in the end, manage so as
to have himself and all concerned with him hung, particu
larly if the parties he was petitioning against remained
masters. Then the apple-brandy smelt very deliciously,
and the cake looked inviting. What could I do ? Flesh
and blood inclined me to yield to the eating and drinking
yet I hesitated.
Whilst these opposing inclinations were struggling for
mastery, the two tempters had drawn nearer and nearer,
the schoolmaster stretching forth the paper in the one
hand, and holding his pipe with the other; whilst his op
ponent, holding the glass and the cake, pressed his bottle to
his breast. Adopting a middle course, I held my hand a
little way tremblingly for the paper, and shoved my mouth
towards the brandy. This brought the two into contact ,
they touched each other, started back as if struck by light
ning, and stared for a time at each other, as if doubtful how
to act. Advancing again towards me, the little one
wielded his pipe as a shield against the fo.\ and the other
prudently covered himself with his bottle.
 OF A SCIIOOLMASTKB. 17

Not wishing to offend either, I continued passive. They,

seeing that I was not likely, of my own accord, to decide
the contest, entered into a desperate struggle. I felt the
paper thrust into my hand by the one, and the fiery fluid
poured down my throat by the other. The pipe and the
bottle were smashed in the conflict ; both the combatants,
falling upon my body, weighed me down, as if a rock were
resting on my breast. In their blind rage, the one thrust
some of the cake into my mouth, and the other did the
same with his petition. Being thus nearly choked, my
senses left me, or rather I lost consciousness as regards the
dream.
I awoke, bathed in perspiration. My wife, finding me
trembling and moaning, had compassionately roused me.
My body seemed bruised all over, and it being morning, I
got up, but was even more dejected than on the evening
before.
Seeing the mental depression I was labouring under, a
happy thought occurred to my good little wife, who sent
roc off to the residence of a friend, in the hope that he
might be able to cheer and comfort me. This visit will be
recorded further on ; but I may remark here that the idea
of publishing my trials and triumphs arose out of this
walk.
20 JOYS AND SORROWS

to make them, whatever is grown, must of necessity be

consumed by the family, and often there is not enough, so
that additional provisions have to be found. If the small
farmer has no trade, then there is no extra gain, and the
interest or rent cannot be made up ; if he has a trade, but
is not a good workman, then he bungles both his handi
craft and his husbandry.
So it was with us. Every scheme had to be resorted to,
in order to raise the annual tribute. We had nothing to lay
out in implements, improvements, embellishments, or even
on needful repairs. Owing to small defects not being-
looked to in time, they became greater, and new debts had
to be contracted to remedy them. He, for example, who
neglects to lay out 10 kreutzers in time on his roof, may-
have eventually to provide for an outlay of 10 florins. Few-
people think of this till it is too late ; they only know that
they cannot well spare the smaller sum.
My father, looking upon his trade as the chief source of
income, abhorred doing any kind of work away from his
loom. His wife, and afterwards his children, had to do all
the out of door work ; and this was the second reason why
things did not look better. One may imagine what the
appearance of a farm must be, when the wife has to nurse
the children, milk the cow, plant, water, dig, sow, thresh,
spin, and do the household cookery, particularly when she
dare not ask for assistance or money, though almost ready
to sink into the earth from weariness, fatigue, and swollen
legs. Add to this, one child screaming here, and another
there, whilst her husband with sour eyes, asks her" Why
this thing has not been done?" " Why that other has been
neglected ?" " Whether he is ever going to have his dinner ?"
and " How it is she allows the children to scream?"
In the midst of all this, she is not allowed, without
special permission, to buy any necessaries, a number of
questions being asked about every kreutzer spent or going
to be spent. The husband has no idea of the requirements
of his family, and has no wish to get an insight into them;
all his thoughts are directed towards securing the 50 tha-
lers for the interest. It may be readily supposed that the
position of such a wife is not very much to be envied ; yet
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 21

there are thousands of such amongst the small landholder*

of Switzerland.
It is true my father laboured away very bravely ; but
either he was not a particularly good hand at his work, or
he was not very lucky, for matters did not mend. At one
time he bought yarn, and wove it on speculation for the
dealers, but that did not answer ; and when he chanced to
allude to his want of success, loudly reviled the injustice of
the world. The poorer a man is, he would say, the less he
can earnthe rich make more out of their labour. A
dealer or merchant can tell a hundred yards off whether a
man is needy or not; and if he is so, will give him con
siderably less an ell for his goods than to one he knows not
to be pressed for money. The former is turned and twisted
about till he almost loses his eyesight; he can only see that
his neighbour, who is well off, gets more for his cloth than
he does, though it is not so good. Nor is this all. When
he fancies the bargain settled, and makes sure of his small
profit, it will be a great wonder indeed if the dealer does
not discover some flaw for which he makes a deduction,
there is a fault in the weaving there are bad threads, or
some other thing the weaver never dreamt of, but which,
with a sorrowful heart, he has to admit, because he cannot
help himself by refusing to part with his goods at the price
offered.
If these men knew how the poor weaver in his damp
shed, while at his toilsome labour, is calculating to a kreut-
zer or batzen the amount he ought to receive, how he
compares his profits with his debts and his wants, how he
drives the shuttle along more actively, because he feels alarmed
lest he may not be able to square the account ; how, when
after cutting out the piece, he wanders with it to the place
of sale, reckoning the importance of a farthing more or
less on the result; and how wife and children, anxiously
awaiting his return home, afterwards sleep well or ill, ac
cording as the merchant has been in a bad or good humour
if they knew all this, they would certainly drink a bottle
or two less, and give a farthing or two more to the indigent
workman, unless indeed their hearts are stone through and
through, out and out.
22 JOTS AND SORROWS

Thus it came about that my father had at last to give up

his independence, and take employment as weaver for one
of the dealers ; only, what flax he grew on his own land,
he wove on his own account : and when he succeeded in
working up a piece of his own, he assumed quite another
step, because he was not obliged to hand his work over to
his master, as his servant. Perhaps he would contrive to
cheat some old woman into a bargain, and would come
home, his cap cocked a little on one side, very likely a little
jollier than usual, owing to a passing visit paid to mine host
of the Blue Lion.
Once he returned from one of these expeditions pretty
considerably muddled, and the children had such fun, for
he was in an excessively good humour ; he had sold sheet
ing to the wife of a shopkeeper in the village, and she had
given him some work to do for her, the person she usually
employed being dead ; at first he refused to take it, because
his employer was excessively particular about having his
goods delivered exactly to time, and on the slightest delay,
would abuse his workmen worse than if they had been pick
pockets, and he a bashaw of three tails. At length he
consented to undertake a parcel of the yarn, knowing he
could make something by it, and hoping to be able to work
it up by rising earlier and going to bed later.
He accomplished this all right enough, and on taking the
cloth to the dame, began to measure it out weaver-fashion.
" Exactly," said she, making a wry face, and looking very
wise, "I am not so stupid as you think me; you weavers
may be very clever, but, were you twice as cunning as you
are, you will not be able to outwit an old stager like me ;
you must not measure across your thumb, and cheat me in
the number of ells." '* Very good, ma'am," replied my
father, refraining with the greatest difficulty from laughing,
" have it measured any way you like." Ultimately they
parted very good friends; but the batzens my father got
for the thumb-measure omitted every ell, he spent at the
Blue Lion, and so came home in a state not very creditable
to the head of a family.
For a long time my father laboured under the delusion
that his earnings would not only pay the interest of his
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 23

debt, but also clear off the principal, calculating that the
farm would clear the household cxpences; for, he used to
say, other people have debts as well as I, and no better
land ; yet, though they have no extra earnings, they man
age somehow to pay the interest out of their farms alone.
He therefore resolved every year that things must be made
to take a different turn, reckoning up with chalk and pencil
how this was to be effected, what little item he would pay
off first, and then what larger one he would discharge.
But year after year he found himself awry in his calcula
tions, and had sometimes a good deal to do to make both
ends meet without contracting new debts. Unfortunately,
he could only form a tolerably close estimate of his receipts ;
his expenditure was augmented by a number of unforeseen
demands, that snowed in upon him by way of a supplement.
The carpenter, for instance, had to be employed to make a
new seed chest, the old one having fallen to pieces. This
cost money, and he gave his wife for that reason gloomy
looks, and no kind words, for many a sorry day. Then
again, the cow ceasing to yield milk, it was necessary to
change it for another, and the difference had to be made up
in ready money. He then told his wife she had better not
let the new cow go the same way as the old one, else she
would be in for a row. Illnesses came upon the children ;
these caused outlay. The flax did not ripen well; that di
minished the income : and there was day after day some
thing or other for him to grumble about. When his wife
was ailing, which was now and then the case, he grumbled
all the more, saying that she did nothing but get unwell ;
and she had the greatest difficulty in the world to get the
four or five batzen necessary to effect a cure.
A notion exists amongst the women in the place that,
under certain circumstances, it is necessary for them to be
bled ; and likewise, after being bled, they must have a
choppin of red wine and a piece of meat to set them to
rights again, the doctor who prescribes this course being
the favourite practitioner.
Not long ago it was usual to see a number of healthy-
looking women on certain fixed days, after visiting the
doctor, go home each with a small bottle of wine, whilst a
24 JOTS AND SORROWS

number of others would drink a choppin on the way to

their dwellings. This did not happen on a Sunday, nor a
market day, but on blood-letting day.
With the wealthy, another course was pursued. They
were advised to consider themselves under medical treat
ment for a week, and, during that period, to take fresh,
meat and a glass of good wine every day.
This was regarded as right and proper; and the children,
with whom the matrons generally share what they eat and
drink themselves, looked forward to these days with
pleasure, and would sometimes put the question, " Mother,
when are you going to be bled? ' The doctor, too, generally
managed to make himself comfortable out of the affair.
Over and above the batzen he charged for bleeding, there
were also three more batzen extracted for harmless herbs ;
and thus the rogue procured fresh meat and a glass of wine
for himself as well as his patients.
My mother bore her husband's treatment very quietly.
Occasionally she did retort, by saying that it was all very
fine for him to sit in state and grumble. Very often she
talked to a neighbour's wife about him, declaring he was
the most unreasonable being in existence, and that he
always used her worst when he ought to have known
better. In after years, the children had to listen to her
complaints.
Our household was not known to he specially distinguished
for its discord, most of those around it being very little
better, and some of them a good deal worse. Naturally,
the daily bickerings and joyless wrestling with the trials
and tribulations of life had the effect of souring the mind,
so that everything was seen through an unpleasant light.
The success of a neighbour was regarded as an injury done
themselves; the intelligence that some one had come into
an inheritance, or had got an augmentation of income,
made my father cough twice as much as usual ; ill luck,
however, he never grudged to anyone, and was only
astonished that it had not happened to them before and in
a more serious form.
From all this, it may be concluded that my parents were
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 25

not embued with much genuine religion. They did not

seem to know that their faith enjoined a different course of
conduct towards each other, and towards their neighbours ;
they had no idea that human beings are susceptible of im
provement, or that the purification of the soul is the great
business of man's life. Neglect of this great truth leads
to sad consequences, especially as regards education.
My parents did not think it incumbent upon them to
weed out the tares that had taken root in the minds of their
children, nor to guard them against the evil passions in
herent in the flesh. Yet, for all this, we were not regarded
as bad people. My parents were everywhere regarded as
a worthy couple, nothing whatever to their disadvantage
being known. True, they had some difficulty in fighting
their way, but that was nothing uncommon. They possessed
the general integrity that guarded them against doing any
thing likely to get them into trouble. When an animal or
an implement belonging to any of our neighbours was
found, it was at once restored ; the question being asked,
" Suppose they were to see it, what would they say?'' But
if the object found belonged to a stranger, no trouble was
taken to find the owner ; and, indeed, if they had, he
would not have recovered his property without some
difficulty.
They did not cheat poor people like themselves ; but,
when my mother could impose on the minister or doctor's
wives by mixing some bad eggs with the good ones, or
when she sold her spinning stuff, succeeded in passing off
some short hemp amongst the long, she considered it
rather a merit than otherwise. My father also agreed with
her, saying, it would put these persons to no kind of in
convenience, as they had plenty of money ; adding, that
ingenuity was of no use to people unless they turned it
to account. When any of the people, so deluded, took
umbrage and complained, threatening to buy nothing more
from us, my mother would fly into a passion, use abusive
language against the better classes, protesting they grudged
everything, would pay nothing for anything, and always
wanted the best things people had. My parents were not
alone in these respects, and, it may be doubted, whether
26 JOYS AND SORROWS

religion as taught in God's Holy Word is properly under-,

stood in the country, even by the teachers themselves.;,
hence a low standard of morality universally prevails. . .....
The: married pair I have hitherto been describing,
possessed eight children, of whom I was the third. . Let
no one take it amiss I speak so candidly of my parents.
My object is not to ridicule them, but to induce the
numberless couples like them to obtain a knowledge of
themselves, and thus, by leading them to correct the errors
of their ways, confer a benefit on their children. I hope
also, that the more honestly and sincerely I pourtray my
self, they will profit all the more by the example I. place
before them, especially as regards shunning the manifold
pit-falls I have tumbled into.
We children were regarded by our parents as a real
tangible burden hung about their necks for no intelligible
reason, and which they thought it a duty to. diminish as
much as possible by making us as useful to themselves as
they could. We very often heard them say, that So-and-
so were extremely fortunate, since they had no children, or
because they had only one ; yet all the selfishness and all
the accumulated acerbity of their minds had not been able
to destroy the natural attachment to their offspring, which
the Creator has wisely planted in all his creatures, they
loved us, but in a way of their own and for different
reasons.
My father had a great veneration for his land, and he
wanted a son to inherit it; but his first two children were
daughters. This he did not like. He could not bear the
two girls, and he grudged every kreutzer that was ex
pended on their account. Of course their mother took
their part; and the more he grumbled about the children,
the more she caressed them.
When the girls did anything likely to annoy their father,
she did her best to help them to conceal it, and thus they were
taught deception. It is believed, amongst a number of
otherwise sensible people, that it is no sin to rob one's
parents; and, singularly enough, it never struck my father
that the dresses his daughters wore could not have been
obtained out of the money he furnished for the household
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 27

expenses. He seldom enquired how they were obtained,

nor did he care much, so long as he felt satisfied they did
not come out of his pocket. When he chanced to ask a
question on the subject, there was always an answer ready:
a godfather or godmother was converted into a generous
patron for the occasion ; and no more was said.
When I was born, he was perfectly delighted : a crown
prince had come to inherit his one cow estate and his two
thousand florins of debt. In this heir apparent, all his
hopes and plans were centered. " I am nobody," he used
to say, "but my son must be somebody; he shall be
taught everything that is to be learnt, though that should
cost a hundred thalers." He knew people who had not
even been weavers that had amassed wealth, lived in
houses like palaces, were foremost at the fair, and would
not look upon such a little man as himself, however low
he stooped. His son must become a great merchant, not
remain a small farmer; others had contrived to get on in
the world with fewer advantages ; there was nothing,
therefore, to prevent my going a-head.
Thus my destiny was chalked out for me, and I was to
be a great man. Some of the wealthy townspeople, argued
my father, have wedded rich wives, and had built fine
houses, so might I. They had set up chaises ; I also might
set up a chaise, and he could then drive to market with me,
sit with the gentlemen at dinner, and, after the meat, toss
for the coffee. It is true, he did not care much about
coffee, preferring a glass of Schiedam ; but when one is a
man of a rank, he must eat and drink as such. Next he
thought of how he would serve out so and so, who had
treated him very contemptuously, and how he would keep
his hat on when others doffed their caps. After having
gone on in this way for a time, raising me to the highest
dignities, he would actually look upon me as already his
superior, and treat me accordingly.
He would not hear of my crying, and did not believe
that I screamed like other children merely to exercise my
lungs, and thought, whenever I yelled, that some one had
purposely ill used me. When he heard my howls, he
would issue from his loom-shed and give my sister, who
28 JOTS AND SORROWS

was nursing me, a good thrashing, and sometimes, by way

of variety, blow up my mother for not looking after me,
saying, she neglected me to annoy him. Nothing was to
be refused me ; if this happened to be done in his presence,
and I made a wry face, he roared out: " Will you , or
shall I ?"
He never went to market without buying something for
me, but did not spend a single kreutzer on the other
children ; and woe to either of my sisters who meddled
with my toys ! When I was two years old he took me
now and then to the tavern with him, gave me whatever I
liked to eat, and made me drink more wine than I cared
for, saying, boastfully, I must learn to drink, for some day
I should have plenty of wine. He never took my mother
with him, though she often said, tauntingly, that the wine
would do her more good than a measly little brat like me.
It may be readily imagined that I was no great favourite
with either my mother or sisters. They had some bother
or other on my account every day. There were constant
rows about my not being sufficiently attended to ; and they
had to look on all the good things that fell in my way
without being permitted to share them.
My father appears never to have read the story of Joseph
and his brethren, or to have read it in the way careless
people generally do, scanning the words without under
standing their import, much less applying them to their
own conduct in common life. He did not seem to know how
baneful envy is, how easily it is roused, or how unhappy it
makes those in whom it is excited. Indeed, I have ob
served that most people, though they know the names of
virtues and vices well enough, do not recognize them when
they are manifested in themselves ; they do not fee how
they arise, neither do they note them germinating in their
breasts, much less can they check the growth of the evil
passion. When a neighbour offends them, anger bursts
out, and they act foolishly: just like a man who has had
his hand cut by a nail in the wall ; instead of drawing it
out, he gives it a knock with a hammer, injures the wall,
and leaves the nail in it, to wound his hand still more
severely at some future period.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 29

Few persons reflect that the good and evil tendencies of

their children spring from their own breasts, and shape
themselves according to the examples set before them.
When a fault has been committed, which has probably
arisen from their own neglect of the nascent mind, they
resort to scolding and chastisement to correct it, beating
the depravity back to the heart, which it ought never to
have been permitted to enter. By this means, cunning,
deceit, and spiteful feelings are generated, that will ulti
mately cause the parents to suffer severely for their folly.
My father, not unlikely, had read of envy, and knew
pretty well the meaning of the word; but he did not know
the passion lurked in his own breast; neither was he
aware that he had implanted it deeply in the bosoms of
his wife and children, and that by his scolding and beating
he was changing it into hatred ; nor did it strike him that
the course of conduct he was pursuing hourly augmented
his own vexation ; yet all this was so perceptible, that one
would think it might even have been seen by a blind
man.
My mother's affection for the girls increased in the pro
portion my father disliked them ; she detested me because
I was constantly being overwhelmed with kindness hence
envy was engendered; for she considered herself much
more entitled to a white loaf and a draught of wine than I
was. She used to say that if I had been given her to be
a plague and a torment, she would rather that Providence
took back the gift, adding that, in such a case, I would
be better off, and so would she. My sisters held the
same opinion, for they saw me stuffed with comforts they
had to go without ; envy had a fine seed-ground in their
hearts, particularly as they were reminded every day, by a
beating, of the preference shown to me.
At last it came to pass that many of the hidings
they got were deserved. When my father was out
of the way, my mother would pitch me about like a
whisp of straw, and give my sisters anything I happened
to have. They, on their side, stole what my mother
had not given them. Then they would give me a
push, and, if I fell, dragged me up by the shoulders with
SO JOTS AND SORROWS

a gentleness that hurt me ten times more than the fall ;

my screams they did not condescend to notice, for, as they
would get a beating in any case, they thought they were
justified in letting me know the reason why. The days on
which my father had to be absent for a length of time
were periods of carnival to them, and of misery to me ; for
though I bawled out as lustily as usual, he did not hear it ;
and if they half-starved me he did not see it.
Clinging instinctively to my father, I tried always to be
near him, and when my mother and sisters looked sour,
ran to complain to him. He encouraged me to report all
their proceedings to him, and they, knowing this, chased
me away when they were talking, or engaged in any
operation they did not want to be made the subject of our
conversation.
None of them would read the ABC books my father
began to buy me as soon as I reached my third year, each
of which being more attractive than the other. My mother
never happened to have any time ; my sisters were, how
ever, at last compelled to teach me the alphabet, but the
result was not very satisfactory. I made no progress, and
indeed, for my own part, preferred gazing at the golden
elephants and monkeys outside to looking out the ugly
black letters inside ; my teachers and I generally fell a
quarrelling, and the lesson usually ended in a row.
My father, however, being determined to have me
taught, undertook to teach me himself, hut set rather
awkwardly to work. He had not the slightest idea of the
time a child takes to learn the alphabet, particularly when
its intuitive faculties have not been awakened or exercised.
Expecting that I should recognize at once a number of
black characters, that, having no striking characteristics,
may be easily mistaken for each other, he was greatly
astonished to find me not nearly so apt as he had anticipated.
Except at his loom, where he could have the utmost
patience with the worst material, he was extremely irritable.
He could not make out how it was, that, after I had got
the first letter pretty well, I always mistook and confounded
the others. He shouted their names in my ears, scratched
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 31

his head, ran away, but did not strike me; therefore I
preferred him for a teacher, though I had sense enough to
know I did not make any more progress with him than the
others. Nevertheless, in order to be away from my
mother and sisters, I pretended to be anxious to learn the
letters ; though, at the bottom of my heart, I wished all
the alphabets in existence could be torn to pieces and
burnt.
In course of time, in spite of bad teaching, and my own
disinclination to learn, I managed to get the alphabet into
my head, and even get tolerably well on with words of
one syllable. I could not, however, be always learning
away at the Primer; so that, ultimately, of my own accord,
I took to assisting my father in a branch of his weaving
operations termed " spooling," and I became so expert in
this process, that my father had really some reason at last
to think I was clever. He boasted everywhere of having a
little boy at home who was one in a thousand ; and as he
sometimes said this in my presence, I began to entertain a
high opinion of myself.
I often used to wonder where my father went on the
Tuesdays or Thursdays, and where he got all the toys and
books. Often I bothered him to take me with him; but
that, from some cause or other, had been inconvenient.
He was himself anxious enough to take me, for he wanted
to know what the people in the town would say of me,
fancying they would be struck dumb with astonishment on
beholding so wonderful a child.
By this time I had entered my sixth year, and one day
he promised to take me with him to the market at Burg-
dorf, providing I went once more correctly through the
Primer, and assisted him meantime diligently in spooling.
Accordingly I set to work studying and spooling during day,
and at night dreaming of the market, the town, and all the
fine tilings my father said it contained. 1 was thus in a
constant whirl of excitement, and kept perpetually asking
whether, after I had slept a certain number of nights it
would not be market-day.
The eventful morning at length broke, and being in a
twitter to start, I was all the more impatient because I fancied
32 JOTS AND SORROWS

breakfast had been purposely delayed. I went and com

plained to my father that my sisters did not brush my shoes
fast enough, for which they pulled my hair in tying on my
neckcloth. The idea of my going to the market, whilst
they had not been permitted to go for a long time, nearly
broke the hearts of my unlucky mother and sisters.

CHAPTER III.
At length we started, my father carrying on his back a
package of cloth he had to deliver to his employer, also a
basket of butter on his arm that he had to turn into money,
and I with a stick in my hand pretty well as tall as myself.
As a heavy rain first runs into rills, then flows into brooks
that, discharging themselves in the river, swell into a
mighty stream,so from far and wide came people hurrying
on to the market of Burgdorf ; some one issues from almost
every house, and, pouring out of the lanes, they fill the
footpaths, becoming, in the high road, a dense multitude
extending as far as the eye can reach. Most of them are
on business, each carrying something for the merchants or
for sale; but some are also going to buy, or are merely on
pleasure. These are without burden or load of any kind.
In all directions, there is a wild confusion of man and beast ;
the peasants' heavy waggons, rattling through the midst of
it ; a flock of puzzled sheep here and there disperse the
gossiping passengers as if a bomb had fallen amongst them,
and from chaises and dog-carts broad faces glance with an -
expression of great comfort on the pedestrians beneath,
then, touching their horses with the whip, drive smartly on
as if they already smelt the dinner on the table of the
Lord of the Manor.
What a lot of things there were to be seen by an urchin
who had never been to a market before ! The animals
attracted my attention more than the men, and I could not
help stopping every now and then to look at the fleecy
lambs. The nearer we came to the town, the more heavily
1 hung upon my father's coat pocket; every step brought
some fresh novelty within my gaze, particularly when the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 33

little town with its fine castle came proudly into view.
Such a number of beautiful houses I had never seen before,
and I almost stuck fast to the ground in astonishment. On
recovering from this first impression, I hastened on in ad
vance so as to be soon there, and walked so fast that my
father could scarcely keep up with me.
When we entered the town, there was a halt at every
step. " See here, father! Do look!" I kept ejaculating
at every step, pulling so hard at the pocket, that once or
twice it was on the point of giving way ; but my father had
no time to linger, having to deliver his work. It has
already been mentioned, that his employer, being a very
exact man, stood growling, with his hat on his head, at the
weavers who did not arrive at the appointed hour. We
were somewhat late as it was, and the dealer received us
rather grufHy. He neither gave me a batzen nor a kind
word ; indeed, scarcely even condescended to look at me.
My father had expected him to pay me some kind of com
pliment, and was much offended by the disappointment
" If," said he, " I knew any one else who would keep me
in constant employment, I would have nothing more to do
with him."
Having bundled up the fresh supply of flax he received
to work up, he placed himself in the street to sell the
butter, taking the cloth partially off the basket to display
his merchandise. This position did not suit me at all.
I was burning to be off, and kept wriggling to get him to
move on to where the booths and the people were.
Seeing my anxiety to look about, he gave me a batzen
to go and buy something, telling me not to go far away and
to come back soon. He let me depart very reluctantly ;
not that he feared I would come to harm, but because he
wanted to hear what the women who came to buy his
butter would say in my praise ; for, up till now, no one had
taken any notice of me, much less said anything gratifying
about me, which made him almost cross.
Happier than a king, I made off with my treasure, rush
ing along amongst the people, stalls, and booths, without
taking the smallest notice of where my father stood or of
the way I took. Hastening from place to place, I sank
34: JOTS AND SORROWS

deeper and deeper in admiration. I beheld wooden painted

men on horseback, the upper half red and the lower half
blue, with swords and muskets, their gold embroidered fur
caps glittering most splendidly, just like that of the
Amman's son I had so often envied. In another place, I be
held whole heaps of books, also pictures far more magnifi
cent than anything I had ever seen before, and not far
away from them were piles of gingerbread and cakes as
high as stove boards. Before each and all of these
interesting objects I stopped and lingered : how long, I
cannot say; but I had completely forgotten my father and
all his injunctions.
The batzen I held in my hand, gazing alternately at that
and the objects before me ; but the variety of the latter
was so bewildering, I could not make up my mind what to
buy. Feeling hungry, the gingerbread first tempted me ;
but the fur caps were so attractive, the men on horseback
so stately, and the pictures quite ravishing. At last, my
desire for the latter got the upperhand, and, putting down
the batzen, asked for one that had specially struck my
fancy. The trader laughed, and said the picture I had
selected would cost a great many batzen. He showed me
some very small ones ; but they did not at all please me,
my mind being set upon the one I had first seen.
Then I thought of my father, who I knew had heaps of
batzen, and, turning round to look for him, he was nowhere
to be seen. I ran some distance, but could not find the
spot where I had left him ; again I ran, but the result
was the same,he was not to be found. I could not tell
where I was, and the crowd of faces around were all
strange to me. Beginning to feel terribly afraid, a painful
sensation seized my heart, of which it would be difficult to
form a conception, Then I holloaed out lustily: " Father,
where are you?" but to this there came no answering
voice.
My tears and screams attracted the notice of the people
about, who wanted to know what my father's name was,
and what he was like. "His name is Hans," I said,
"and he has a yellow coat on." " But there are a good
many Hanses here," replied they, " and a good many men
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 35

with yellow coats ; what other name has he besides Hans ?"
To this I answered, sobbing, that my mother sometimes
called him. " the grumbling growler" ; whereupon the by
standers laughed and went away.
Here, then, I stood crying alone amidst thousands of
people, but without recognising a single familiar or sym
pathising face. Every one was occupied in some pursuit,
pleasure or business ; most of them gaping about for a slice
of good luck, with which I was not likely to furnish them.
I could not find the gate by which we had entered the
town. All that I had retained in my mind about it, was,
that a large house with a small door stood somewhere near
it. My wretchedness at length became inexpressible.
Pressing myself up against a wall, I covered my face with
my hands, and wept bitterly, more bitterly than ever I had
done in my life before.
No one can conceive the anguish that creeps into a
child's breast, when a sense of loneliness or isolation takes
possession of its mind. When the icefield of selfishness
has overlaid the human heart, and rendered it as callous
as a stone buried in the immeasurable depths of Lapland's
snow, sensations of any kind are out of the question ; but
even those who have not been hardened by contact with
the world, can scarcely imagine what a child feels when it
believes itself forsaken by its natural protectors. It is a real
agony that fills and absorbs its whole being. The men on
the horses, the gingerbread, and the pictures were all still
there, and the batzen was still in my hand ; but for all
these things I had no longer eyes : there was nothing
around me but desolation, for my atti, my father, had
disappeared.
Yet, the parent whom I had lost was only a poor weaver,
with a yellow frockcoat. Above, there is another Father,
beaming in the everlasting light of all-powerful love, whom
many have lost sight of. They know not where He
is ; but they feel no anguish, and, wandering up and down
the market-place of life, delight themselves with pictures,
dolls, gingerbread, and fur caps. It is morning now, but
evening comes; still they care not about the eternal
Father; nay, reminded of him, they are frightened, and
36 JOYS AND SORROWS

prefer losing their immortal souls to going in search of

heaven.
Their frozen hearts have become lumps of ice, and balls
of snow ; but let them beware ! A time may come when,
hard as they are, they will melt, when a consciousness will
dawn upon their minds that they have lost their mighty
Father. Then an infinite woe will settle down upon their
faculties, and they will experience an unutterable pang :
then, and then only, will they know the magnitude of the
fearful calamity that has befallen them !
I continued weeping with my back to the wall, till at
last some one took away my hands from my eyes, and a
familiar voice uttered, " Hullo ! little Peter, is that you ?
What is the matter ? What are you crying about ? "
With dim eyes I looked through my tears, and recog
nised our schoolmaster. He was a stoutish man, with red
eyes, a nose always bedewed in snuff, and a face that
evidently for a long time had been innocent of water.
But had he been the angel Gabriel, he could not have
appeared more beautiful to me than did Old Snuffy, as
we used to call him, at that moment.
What a comfort a known countenance is to one who
deems himself lostl No one can appreciate that who has
not known it from experience ; and, if the countenance alone
has this effect, what think you may not be the solace of a
sympathising heart to one who has been forsaken?
Unfortunately, such consolation can be but rare in this
world ; for are not most people strangers even to their own
hearts ?
I told the schoolmaster, in answer to his questions, that
I had lost my father ; and, though I could not express the
joy I felt at seeing him, my tears dried up at once, and
when he took me by the hand, my sorrow vanished alto
gether, and I felt as if my father had been already restored
to me. The greater one's misery, the greater the thank
fulness for its relief; and he that renders it becomes, at
least for the time, a veritable messenger of mercy.
Throughout the whole course of my life, I never forgot
the timely aid of the old schoolmaster; his appearance '
rescued me from such a depth of unsoeakable despair.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 37

Though he was not a being that any one under ordinary

circumstances could entertain an affection for, my attach
ment to him was enduring, and contributed much towards
my becoming a schoolmaster myself.
On taking me by the hand, he led me away from the
- wall, telling me we should be sure to fall in with father some
where. "We first sought him in the little room where he
had left his yarn, which the schoolmaster knew very well.
He was not there ; but the people in the house said he had
just gone away out of breath, to look for his little boy.
We went through several streets, but did not fall in with
him. At last my companion declaring that it was stupid
for us to be running about in different directions looking
for each other, resolved to go back to the house, where the
yarn was, and where my father, doubtless, would appear
sooner or later. It was, moreover, a thirsty sort of weather,
and we could wait there quietly without fatiguing ourselves
needlessly.
Before entering the house, we looked around ; and during
that survey, I recognised my father's faded yellow coat.
There he was, running about, swinging his hands, and
calling out " Hi '. " I ran after him, holloaing as loud as I
could ; and, hearing my voice, he hurried forward. But
what a welcome I received 1 He called me a confounded
monkey, and was going to take me by the hair and give
me a shaking. Struck with terror, I wept anew; my limbs
became stiff as if turned into lead. On no former occasion
had he treated me so harshly; and this change in his
manner towards me made such an impression upon me,
that I do not think I shall ever forget it.
Reader, can you account for this alteration in my
father's sentiments ? It is simply this. Grown-up people
do not like to be annoyed; and when their annoyance
comes from a younger person than themselves, they resent
it, even though the fault be their own ; and, indeed, in
this last case their resentment is often all the stronger.
Thus, a child when it has already suffered for its own
ignorance, has also to pay the penalty of its parents'
wrong-doing. So it happens thousands of times; and so
it happened in this instance.
38 JOYS AND SORROWS

No doubt my father had been grieved as well as myself,

when he found I did not return, and had searched for me
in the deepest anxiety ; but this anxiety changed into
anger as soon as the cause was removed, and displayed
itself in wrath instead of expressions of joy. But who,
properly speaking, was to blame ? My father, most un
questionably. He did not consider that I knew nothing
whatever about the place ; and, not being seven years of
age, was incapable of judging distances or forming conclu
sions as to the comparative relations of objects. Neither
did he think of the impression his conduct made upon me,
or how, with his rough hand, he had destroyed all the
pleasure I had derived from my first visit to the town, and
many things besides. It is true, his fit of anger soon
passed away ; but by that time the mischief was done, and
the effect could never be eradicated.
When he saw my tears, he took me into the house, and
had some dinner brought in. Fried sausages and plenty of
wine were placed on the table. He told me to help myself;
hut, no longer feeling at ease, I kept on sobbing. Fre
quently he filled my glass with wine, saying each time
" Do not cry any more, there's a good boy; we shall go
together through the market, and buy some things."
I had now no inclination or wish to go. I had had
enough of the market, and the town too; and did not desire
to see anything of either any more: besides which, my
head ached from the wine and the weeping, so that I could
scarcely keep my eyes open. I asked to be taken home,
but walked with so much difficulty, and complained so
bitterly, that my father had to put me into the miller's
waggon. There I fell asleep, and did not wake till we
arrived at the end of the journey.
Thus terminated the anxiously expected festive day.
My misery and suffering had been so great, that since that
period I never felt the slightest desire to visit either the
town or the market again, and for a long time after was
constantly dreaming that I was lost, that my father had
grasped me by the hair ; then I sobbed so wretchedly that
he had to get out of bed, and console me.
 OF A SCHOOLMASlX.t. 39

CHAPTER IV.
Mr mother had borne two more girls, who grew up all
right enough ; and when my parents heard that the
children of some of the neighbours had died, they would
observe, lamentingly, " These people are very lucky ; some
how or other all our children stick to us." A sixth child
was born ; but this time, by way of change, it was a son,
and was no exception to the general rule, for it lived to grow
up like the others.
An addition to the family was not looked upon as a
matter of much importance ; and no kind of attention was
paid to the matter. My father, on such occasions, would
expend six kreutzers on a white loaf, and, perhaps, also
make some soup ; but my mother was not allowed to
_ neglect the household matters for any length of time, and
was obliged to move about, though ready to drop down at
every moment from sheer weakness. The churching also
she hastened as much as possible on her own account ; for
then she might indulge -herself in a choppin of warm wine
at the inn without my father grumbling about it; the
christening likewise was hurried on for similar reasons.
My mother yearned for the gifts of certain well-to-do
families of the neighbourhood termed " the good people,"
which, according to the custom of the country, are
invariably conferred on a woman in her position. But these
gifts are never brought till after the christening ; the cause
assigned for this is, that persons bringing their gifts
before evince a desire to become sponsors, and so stay away
in order not to appear importunate. In reality, it is the
dread of having the office of sponsor thrust upon them, that
keeps them away till the ceremony is over.
The usages of the place entail considerable expense, and
some responsibility, on those who undertake to become
sponsors for a child. Besides the ordinary presents to the
mother, there is what is called the " Good Year's Gift," to
be given. Then there are the swaddling clothes for the
child; the first trowsers, the first bodice, the first suit,
baby linen, and a bright new thaler wrapped up in paper,
40 JOTS AND SORROWS

on which some appropriate motto is printed. A present,

moreover, is expected every birthday till the god-child gets
married; and the parents, if poor, think they have a right
to apply in every emergency to the godfather or godmother
of their child. Nor is this all. In the event of the parents
dying, the sponsor is expected to take the child and bring
it up as his or her own.
People in towns have no idea of the tax upon families
living in the country that arises from this cause. They are
often called upon by entire strangers to become sponsors
for their children. There are families, and not a few of
them either, that actually find it necessary to keep a book,
in which to post up their god-children; the number some
times being above 100. I know one person that applies
to this source of outlay the entire rent of a smithy,
amounting to somewhere about 240 thalers annually. This
is a kind of public burden that falls upon worthy people,
dwelling in Switzerland, which not being generally known,
they often lose sight of in reckoning up the cost of living
in the country.
Nevertheless, it does sometimes happen, that a young
person desirous of entering the bonds of matrimony comes
of her own accord some dark night before the christening,
with a load of pastry as heavy as a one-year-old baby, and
expresses a wish to be godmother, providing such and such
a young man will be godfather. A manoeuvring mother
also not unfrequently makes her appearance with a measure
of wine, and hints that her son would not mind being god
father, if such and such a young heiress can be prevailed
upon to attend as godmother. Occasionally, likewise, a
neutral party is employed, to inspire the poor people with
the intellect necessary to enable them to select, judiciously,
a young man and young woman to act as sponsors. It may
happen, that the father and mother act for themselves in
the same way without any prompting, endeavouring to
bring young people together, by first obtaining the consent
of one, and then mentioning this to another who is not
likely to refuse. I have often been shocked in my capacity
of schoolmaster, to observe the flirtation that is carried on
at the baptismal font, arising from this custom ; the young
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 4)

people paying fur more attention to each other, than the

sacred engagements they were binding themselves to
perform.
My mother, therefore, hastened on the christening, in
order to receive the customary gifts, as well as the quart of
wine and piece of meat my father was expected to bring
home from the christening feast. All these things, how
ever, when obtained, did not do her very much good. What
she wanted was rest ; and this she was not permitted to
have. A number of women, 1 have no doubt, wither and
decay prematurely, from not being allowed sufficient
nourishment and repose at these periods of trial.
The christening feast was always given at the inn, my
father protesting there was no convenience for it at home,
though the real reason was that the outlay was less. At
home, his wife and children would be present ; at the inn,
this was not the case; wife and child being sent off as
soon as they came out of church : besides which, the spon
sors paid the reckoning, at least in part.
There was, consequently, no chance of an incident
happening to my father and mother, that befell another
couple at a christening feast. There both husband and wife
sat enjoying themselves with the other guests ; their child,
meanwhile, they had laid on the top of the oven properly
swaddled up, and which, after a fair amount of screaming,
fell asleep. Shortly before midnight, when the bottles
were empty and the heads heavy, the company departed ;
the married couple full of good cheer going away without
thinking anything at all about their child. When the land
lady was clearing away the things, something began to
whine in a dark corner over the oven. Fancying it was a
ghost, or something of that sort, she ran away frightened.
The landlord also heard the whining, and, with the entire
household at his back, boldly went in to see what it was.
The child was found ; but the innkeeper, having no par
ticular use for such an article, sent it after the parents.
They asserted that it was not their child, which they said
had been sent home, and the man who took it to them had
a world of trouble to get it out of his hands.
I had been present at the christening of my two youngest
42 JOTS AND SORROWS

sisters. The first time my father carried me to the feast

and back; but, en this occasion, in spite of tears and
entreaties, I had to remain at home. This I could not
comprehend ; when, however, my father left, my eldest
sisters solved the riddle. " Ah well, Peter, my lad," said
they, "you will have to fare like ourselves now; you are
fairly deposed ; another has come to put you out."
I then knew that I was no longer the favourite, and that
my young brother, spite of my being the crown prince,
would, in all probability, inherit the patrimonial estate. But
that did not particularly annoy me. I often heard my
mother say, that if she had never seen the beggarly con
cern she would have been much better off. I likewise
heard my father repeat pretty often, that I must become a
scholar, and that then I would make money like hay, build
as many houses, and buy as much land as I liked.
It was, therefore, with the utmost equanimity, I regarded
the idea of my younger brother depriving me of my
heritage. Indeed, I rather preferred the anticipation of
living away below in the village; people seemed merrier and
more active : besides, there were fine meadows and beautiful
booths, and carriages often drove through it with ladies and
gentlemen in them. Again, if I had a chaise of my own,
it would be much more comfortable to drive about there
than here, where the road was strewn with stones often as
large as a man's head. Thus I reckoned away; but, of
course, without my host.
My father's behaviour towards me became greatly
altered. He did not seem to look on me with the same
eyes he had done before. His little estate, as I have
already remarked, was his boast and his pride; and, in
speaking of any of the neighbours who did not possess land,
he said, with an air of compassion mingled with contempt,
" Oh, he is only a tenant.'' Hitherto he had regarded me
as its future possessor, and treated me with the respect
due to my rank. Now my little brother had become the
future lord of the soil, and, accordingly, he occupied the
first place in my father's heart. That was not effected all
at once, and, probably, my father was not conscious of the
change operating within him ; but to me it was painfully
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 43

perceptible. I had no more playthings given me. All the good

things that were brought from market were for my little
brother. My father extolled me much less frequently, and
never by any chance now alluded to my becoming a great
man. What I formerly did of my own accord as an amuse
ment, I had now to perform as a strict duty; and if I did
not accomplish the proper quantity of spooling within the
fixed time, I was first reproached and ultimately beaten.
The idea of making me a scholar was also abandoned.
When 1 did take a book in my hand, my father told me to
go on with my spooling, saying that I had many years
before me for studying, and that I would very soon learn
all that was requisite for a weaver to know. He would then
hint, that he himself had not had many opportunities for
learning, and he did not see the use of my being wiser than
he was. He had contrived to fight his way through the
world pretty well without any extra knowledge ; and so
might I. And if this did not suffice to put an end to my
reading, he took the book out of my hands, and threw it at
my head.
In speaking of or to my little brother, his logic was of a
different complexion, so that he sometimes talked cold
and hot with the same breath. My mother was rather
pleased that another little boy had come to lift me out of
the saddle, for she had been thoroughly disgusted with the
annoyance that I had caused her. Her affection for the
new comer was as great as my father's ; and so my little
brother ran a chance of being doubly spoiled.
My position in the household may be readily conceived.
Disliked by all, my father, whose fault it was that I had
excited envy, now left me in the lurch, and turned his
countenance. Even the house dog, that formerly had got
a share of my wheaten bread, now held to my brother,
well knowing that I had no longer any wheaten bread to
myself, much less to give away. The common football of
the entire household, there was not one to whom I could
fly for refuge. My sisters still bore me a grudge for the
beatings I had brought down upon their shoulders. The dog
and my father having both forsaken me, I was very
wretched;, for there can scarcely be any greater affliction
44 JOYS AND SORROWS

for the human heart, than to be beloved by none, and to

have no one to love.
In middle age, whilst the sun of life still stands high in
the heavens, and the thoughts are bent on gain, a man
may feel the want of intimate companionship much less
than in childhood and old age; for childhood is full of
affection, and old age thirsty for affection; hence children
readily cling to the aged, who accept their attachment
greedily and gratefully. How many a heart that could
find no kindred soul into which to pour its overflowing-
tenderness, has become from this cause petrified and hard
as granite ! How many another has led its possessor to
become a criminal against society, because its rejected love
has been converted into wormwood, gall, and hatred !
Luckily for me, I fared not thus. Kind Providence sent
a messenger to rescue me from such a fate. Who this
angel of mercy was will be seen in the following chapter.

CHAPTER V.
The angel referred to in the preceding chapter was no
other than Old Snuffy, the schoolmaster. On the memor
able occasion of my going amissing at Burgdorf, he had
interceded for me with my father, when, in the excitement
of his anger, he was about to strike me. His timely
interposition in this instance had won my whole heart,
and I ever afterwards remained affectionately attached to
him.
Two persons meeting, for the first time, generally make
an impression of some kind the one on the other. Most
usually the expression of the countenance is the exciting
cause ; and the inference drawn from this expression is
often very accurate, the untutored countenance being the
mirror of the soul. Many a one has afterwards regretted
having been led by oily words to disregard the opinion so
formed, which would have shielded them from bitter
disappointment.
Sometimes this impression is produced by the gestures
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 45

or actions. If a child entering school for the first time

sees the schoolmaster in anger, or hears him chiding
roughly, it will rarely be brought to love him, fear will be
the feeling engendered ; and it may have to be driven to
its lessons by blows, which will seriously augment the
evil.
My first impression of the old schoolmaster being
extremely favourable, what others saw to dislike about him,
my eyes could not detect. When others teazed and
irritated him, I did everything possible to please and soothe
him. He was ugly, and owing to his uncleanliness almost
repulsive, and besides being fond of snuff was addicted to gin,
drinking before, and not unfrequently during, school hours.
His stipend was very small, and, to eke out his income, he
carried on the trade of a cooper, the schoolroom in winter
being his workshop. He was reckoned clever, for he
could measure hay, and even write letters and testimonials
for the peasants.
His method of teaching was not very artistic. In the
morning the pupils had to learn the lessons they had to
say to him. These consisted either in reading or spelling,
learnt by rote, a certain number of lines or words being
pencilled off to be committed to memory. These lines or
words had next to be repeated or spelt without the book ;
and if this did not occupy the whole of the forenoon, there was
a little reading from the book to fill up the time. In the after
noon, the pupils began with reading; after which, there was
some writing and arithmetic.
Superintending even these simple processes was irksome
to the teacher ; and he took as little trouble with them as
possible, occupying himself with his gin or his tubs. He
had, therefore, one or two adjutants to do the bulk of the
work. Order there was none, the deficiency being made
up by a good deal of whipping. Respect for the teacher
there was none either ; and the boy who could annoy him
most was the hero of the school. All sorts of wild pranks
were played him ; his wide coat-pockets were filled with
ory horse dung; his snuff-box emptied and filled with
rdtten wood dust, obtained from decayed willow trees;
nails were stuck in the planks he was going to saw ; but
46 JOTS AND SORROWS

it was when he fell asleep, which happened pretty often,

that these operations were carried out to their fullest
extent.
When the hoys observed that he was falling off into a
doze, the usual hubbub gave way to a dead silence. On
his falling asleep, the depth of his slumbers was tested by-
dropping a book or striking a desk with a ruler. If these
demonstrations did not rouse him, a council of war was
held as to what was to be done next ; and it was rarely
they did not hit upon some exhilarating contrivance.
Either they tied him with ropes to the legs of the stove,
smeared his face with ink, stopped up his nostrils with
paper pellets, or fastened his hair with pitch to the oven.
This done, they as quietly as possible made off; but as,
after all, the fun of the thing was to know how this affair
terminated, one boy remained peeping through some secret
crevice to note the result.
When the schoolmaster's wife they had no children of
their own heard the pupils go away, and found that her
husband did not appear, she usually suspected something
was wrong, and went off to the schoolroom to see how
matters stood. On finding him asleep, she would rouse
him up somewhat roughly, and if he were pitched to the
wall would liberate him with no gentle hand, applying to
him, at the same time, a variety of epithets that are not
fit for " ears polite."To hear all this reported by the boy
stationed at the crevice, afforded the rogues who had done
the mischief the utmost delight.
The schoolmaster, wisely, made no attempt to discover
the delinquents ; but, on the following morning, he used the
rod with marked emphasis, and those whom he suspected of
being the ringleaders in the enterprise of the preceding
day, had a very liberal share of the blows ; but they had all
become so inured to this species of chastisement, that it
had very little effect upon them in a reformatory point
of view.
I had been at his school previous to the affair at
Burgdorf, and up till then had no reason to be dissatisfied
with him. Through my father's aid, I was always well up in
my lessons, could generally get through my tasks without
 OF A SCHOOLMASTEK. 47

a mistake, and was considerably in advance of all the boys

of my own age. I was, moreover, too young then to take
any part in the freaks my elders committed.
Subsequent to the adventure of the market, when all
had ceased to love me at home, the school became my
favourite haunt, the schoolmaster my most cherished friend
on earth. He also bestowed some degree of affection
upon me, perhaps because he had been able to do me a
kindness. A man so rarely does anything good, that he
entertains a kind of friendship for one upon whom he has
by chance conferred a benefit; he is drawn towards him
because he has afforded him an opportunity of doing a
meritorious deed, and his conscience lauds him for the
praiseworthy act.
It must be admitted, that I spared no pains to make
myself agreeable to him, and that some of the means I
adopted for the purpose were not very creditable. I
observed, that some of the children occasionally brought
him presents of milk, bread, bacon, sausages, and so on, also
that they for some days after met with very indulgent treat
ment. His wife likewise expressed her thanks to them,
and wished their parents all sorts of blessings. Accord
ingly, one day when we were baking at home, I very
coolly demanded a loaf to take to the schoolmaster ; but
the request was not received in the spirit I had antici
pated.
My father asked me with a sneer, whether I did not eat
enough of bread myself? adding, that if the schoolmaster
did get one of our loaves, he would grin at it, and throw it
to his goat. Thus I was repulsed, but not satisfied ; I had
no opportunity of appropriating hams or any such bulky
articles, but I stole pretty largely of the eggs, apples, and
dried fruits. Once I attempted to obtain a supply of milk,
direct from the cow ; but the animal not taking kindly to
the manner I performed the operation, knocked me over,
jug and all.
Another means I adopted to curry favour with the school
master, was telling tales of the other boys, disclosing who
took part in the school mischief. This, however, was not
entirely from a mere selfish motive, but really on account
48 JOYS AND SORROWS

of my esteem for the man, often feeling pained by the

annoyance he suffered from their wasteful tricks.
Causing the children to attend regularly, was not one of
the cardinal virtues of our family, my parents having no
kind of proclivity in that direction ; for weeks together
they did not call to mind there was a school at all, much less
that the children ought to be sent there. The use of a
school as regards common people not destined to follow a
particular profession, they conceived, consisted in simply-
teaching children to read, in order that they might be con
firmed. Reading, in other respects, they considered a
useful kind of accomplishment ; but, as all the children
could read, they looked upon further attendance at school
as altogether superfluous. The opinion of others on the
subject they totally disregarded. Possessing the defiance
inspired by republican institutions, they declared nobody
had a right to dictate to them; for it was they that sup
plied the children with food and paid for their shoes.
If the matter had rested with my parents, I should have
gone no more to school. They did not mind my lounging
about the house in idleness for days together. That gave
them very little concern. The neglect of school generally
is in this way, due more to the indifference of the parents
than to the indolence of the children. Nevertheless, every
morning and afternoon, I continued going to school, till at
last my parents thought it necessary to throw impediments
in my way, partly because they fancied I might do more
spooling if I stayed at home, and partly, they said, because,
" What would people say, if we send such a big boy daily
to school ? Will they not think that we have nothing for
him to do ? " My sisters also, though they preferred
staying at home, threw in a word, saying, if I always went,
they would go too ; had they not as much right to go as
I had ?
All this did not prevent me. It is true, that I had in
the intervals to spool with might and main, early and late,
besides attending to a variety of other jobs that were
found for me. I wrought as hard as I could, but would
not give up going regularly to school ; and when an attempt
was made to prevent me, I threatened to run away, saying,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 49

I would obtain shelter from my godfather, and so forth.

This brought me in for sundry boxes on the ear, but the
threat had the desired effect, because I was now beginning
to be useful both at the loom and on the farm.
I studied hard both in and out of school, contriving to
do so without neglecting the spooling; and it is surprising
to me, that so few parents cause their children to work
and learn at the same time. This can be done in many
ways, and would often prove extremely beneficial. Our
Saviour says, " wickedness springeth from the heart." It
is wise, therefore, to occupy the thinking faculties with
something good, so that evil may not obtain the mastery
over them. Girls when employed in spinning, knitting,
sewing, or such like work, might easily be taught to study
some useful subjectgeography, history, languages, or
something of that kind at the same time.
Working and studying together no doubt requires some
degree of effort, but this very effort is salutary. Unless
the thoughts are constrained and forced into a particular
channel, they are not under our control ; as with soldiers
quartered upon us, they come and go as they list ; it is very
little use pressing them to stay, if they desire to take
flight, and still less bidding them depart, if they choose to
stay. Still they ought to be prevented by every possible
means from straying to subjects calculated to poison the
mind.
My industry was not altogether without fruit. I had
learnt the Heidelberg catechism and several psalms by
heart. Of their meaning or import, I understood nothing
whatever, but I could repeat the words so currently as not
to give any one time to strike the thinnest hammer in the
midst of my recital ; indeed, 1 had become thorough
master of the art of repeating, and could answer a ques
tion without drawing a breath, or, if it were long, breath
ing only once.
By the end of winter, I was one of the foremost boya
in the school, and the schoolmaster, who continued very
partial to me, would gladly have advanced me a bench ; but
there was an overseer's son in the same class, and he dared
not. Had he ventured to allow the weaver's son to have
50 JOYS AND SORROWS

sprung past this youth, or to have given me half a batzen

more prize money, he would probably have brought all the
big wigs in the parish about his ears.
The progress I had made by the commencement of the
succeeding winter was very striking. Always when school
recommenced, repeating the catechism and certain psalms
from memory had first to be gone through, and until this
had been accomplished, there was no thought of writing or
arithmetic. These repetitions sometimes continued till the
new year, and with many who came to school at threshing
time, till after Lent. Some did not get so far during the
whole season as they had got the preceding year. The
great majority of the children never thought of looking at
a book in summer ; with their winter stockings they had
laid aside their books, and did not take them up again till
autumn was on the wane. Not a few of them had for
gotten everything they had learned before, and had once
more to take their alphabets in hand ; others who had
gone through the catechism, or the " questions " as it is
called, the preceding winter, could not now give a proper
answer to one of them, and those who could read before
now began again to learn to spell. Hence little or no
progress was made by the children ; but as I had con
tinued to keep in memory all I had learnt, by repeating to
myself whilst spooling, I had the start of them all and
could repeat more psalms, and one thing and another by
rote, than probably all the other children in the school put
together.
This pleased the schoolmaster mightily. " Peter, my
lad," said he, " you will be a prodigy, that is perfectly cer
tain, it is a pity you are a weaver's son, for that will prevent
your cleverness doing you the slightest good ; your learn
ing will never be of any kind of service to you."
I nevertheless entreated him to allow me to hear the
other boys their lessons, or, in other words, to permit
me to act as his substitute.
" You are not quite able to undertake that yet," he
replied, " you must be able to read upside down before you
can act for me."
Singularly enough this was quite true. The school-
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 51

master stood looking at the reversed books of his pupils,

and was able to read the lessons in this position, whilst
they repeated them from memory ; and since the school
master could do this, it was expected that his substitute
should do so likewise. There was another reason, how
ever, that he could not entrust me with the office, namely,
my being a weaver's son, and that probably was the real
one, for the following year the village magistrate's boy
obtained the appointment of under teacher.
Though I could read and repeat very well, I had not
yet learned writing or arithmetic, and besought the school
master to initiate me into these two branches of know
ledge. " They will be of no manner of use to you, Peter,
my lad," he said; "you will never have any rents to calcu
late, and you have no means of reaching the rank of an
overseer. Of what possible utility is it then for you to
bother your head about either writing or arithmetic ?
This reasoning did not persuade me, and I did not cease
my importunities till at last he consented, as soon as I
acquired the art of reading upside down, to take the thing
into consideration.
Relying on this promise, I laboured at books placed top
uppermost, and by dint of perseverance acquired con
siderable facility in reading them in that preposterous
position. My father watched me performing this operation
with wondering eyes, and as, like others of his craft, he
was fond of boasting, he set about enlarging on my
astonishing talents, although he did not become any fonder
of me on that account. He had not much to boast of in a
general way, and when anything of that kind was afoot,
he drew largely upon my abilities. " I have a lad
at home," he would say, " who can read any book set
before him, either when placed in the usual way, or upside
down," adding that he would wager a choppin I could beat
the minister himself in that sort of thing; but, he continued,
whether I would turn out a wise man or a fool, he did not
himself exactly know.
Ultimately the old man did, though with considerable
reluctance, permit me to act as his substitute, and conse
quently Iwasiplaced overthe regular appointedunder-teachers
52 JOTS AND SORROWS

attached to the school. This created a great outcry. Giving

the weaver's son control over his betters, aroused wide-spread
dissatisfaction ; many remonstrances were sent in by
influential grumblers. The schoolmaster was terribly per
plexed, and would have discharged me incontinently from
office, had he not felt his ease and comfort greatly aug
mented by my management.
Formerly, all the boys had been leagued together to
annoy him, and the under teachers were generally the
ringleaders of the conspiracies organised against him. My
elevation materially altered this state of things. By
virtue of my office, I was able to avert a great deal of mis
chief. He therefore did not discharge me, but urging caution
pointed out to me the pupils to whom I might administer
chastisement at discretion ; all the others were to be
turned over to himself.
Delighted with my new position, I strutted about like an
ostrich, ordering this one to mind his lessons, and thrusting
the book back into the hands of that one, telling him
grandly that he did not know a single word. Then, I
thought, there was not a more important personage in the
world than myself.
This dignity was not, however, without its inconveniences.
As soon as the school was over, I became an outlaw; each
of the boys burned to avenge some insult they had
received ; my sisters also at home paid me with interests for
the sufferings they underwent at school. I was not very
strong ; neither was I well up in what is called " the
noble art of self defence," so that I pretty frequently came
in for a drubbing. .Expecting the same respect out of
doors as in school, instead of returning the blows I
received, I threatened to complain. This having no effect,
I had to do the best I could with my fists, but preferred as
much as possible steering clear of my comrades when I
could do so with impunity. This increased my esteem for
the school and the schoolmaster, for in it, and with him
alone was I safe.
My patron's promise to teach me writing and arithmetic
was not so easily carried out as might be supposed at first
sight. There were quite a multitude of insuperable
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 53

obstacles in the way. " What," remarked the old man,

" could I say to your superiors in rank if I were to teach
you these things ? Never since the school was built had a
boy of my class been taught writing, much less arithmetic
and that together. Such a thing has never been heard of
in the parish. It would be equivalent to a revolution in
the State. If," continued he, " I were to teach the chil
dren of working men all that I taught the children of the
farmers and overseers, the latter would say what is the use
of our sending extras to the schoolmaster, since they pro
duce no extra advantage ? Besides, these are the people
that pay the school fees ; the working classes contribute
nothing whatever, either for the support of the school or
the schoolmaster. What should I do if they were to with
draw the light of their countenance from me ? Such a
risk I could not venture to run. My wife also may have a
word or two to say on the subject, that might not jump
with your wishes."
I listened patiently to these observations, but continued
to urge my request, arguing that since I taught the boys
reading, I might teach them the other branches as well ;
and this would be an advantage to him, for when he was
at his work, the big boys having nothing to do, employed
themselves in concocting mischief. He declared to me that
the fewer sums the boys did was all the better for him, but
admitted they were given to rioting and nonsense when
idle, the effects of which he had often felt in his own
person. But then, the objections to my being taught still
remained in full force. Nevertheless, he consented to give
me a little instruction, on the understanding that I was not
to go up for examination. " In thatcase." said he, " nobody
will know you have been taught ; the overseers never enter
the school ; people do not pay any serious attention to the
chatter of their children, and should the minister come in,
I could thrust my copy book under the desk.
As a matter of course, I agreed to all these conditions,
and going home in great glee, announced that 1 was to be
taught writing and ciphering, but that I would require for
the purpose one kreutzer for pens, one kreutzer for ink,
one batzen for an inkstand, half a batzen for paper, two
54 % JOTS AND SORROWS

batzens for a slate ; the slate pencil possibly I might get

gratis into the bargain; the net amount required being;
consequently four batzen.
The Hebrew chorus might well have sung wai ! wai !
had they heard the shouts of wrath this intelligence excited.
Exclamations of indignation poured from the throats of my
father, mother, and sisters, a portion of which were
lavished upon the schoolmaster. " He must be a crazy-
old lunatic," said they, to teach me things that would be of
no earthly use to me, and which, moreover, required an
absolute outlay of money ; batzens were not to be picked
up in the gutters, and if they were, would be wanted for pur
poses other than such tomfoolery. Of what use was writing
to me ? Had I any great relations to write to ? What
need had I to learn arithmetic ? Was it likely that I would
ever have anything to count ? Arithmetic and writing only-
made bad people worse, and had driven faith and confidence
out of the world. If the farmers wanted their children to
be rogues and cheats, that was no reason why we should
be brought up in iniquity. At the conclusion of this
harangue, I was told if ever I dared to ask money for such
a purpose again, they would give me a sound pummelling
with the books that had been bought for me already, and if
that did not do, they would use the broomstick. As for
the old schoolmaster, they would complain of him to the
minister, who, though none of the wisest, would at all
events put a stop to such outrageous proceedings.
This was about as encouraging a rejoinder as I had got
when I asked for a loaf to give away as a present. But as
I had not been dismayed then, neither was I now. The
four batzen I must have; and as I had obtained the presents,
so must I find the money. I had observed for a long time
that my mother and sisters pilfered, and I knew the huckster
with whom they bartered the things they purloined.
I took possession accordingly of a knob of hemp, and
walked off with it to the huckster, an old hag that knew
her calling well. She was one of those traders who thrive
by encouraging people to steal, giving grown-up persons
a half or a third of the value of the property brought her;
bartering with women the household corn for wine and
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 55

velvet; with children, psalm-books for gingerbread; with

servants, flax and yarn for cinnamon-water and ribbons ;
deriving a profit from transactions with even the meanest
beggars in the place. Such plagues are of no country or
clime ; they abound everywhere, and fatten on the vices of
modern society.
The old woman saw at once that the knob of hemp I offered
her had been stolen. She knew well, also, that I could
not dispose of it elsewhere ; and it was only with difficulty
that I could persuade her to give me a slate, a slate-pencil,
and a quill for it, though the price of the hemp would
have bought all these articles three or four times over.
Still these things did not complete my outfit, and I was
under the necessity of committing another larceny.
Going home rather late, I observed my father's silk
pocket handkerchief hung out to dry. This I at once
appropriated towards my educational equipment. In the
morning the article was missed, and being nowhere to be
found, there was a grand explosion ; my sister, who had
washed and left it out to dry, got a sound drubbing for
not taking care of it. My mother strongly suspected that
a woman in the neighbourhood was the delinquent, and
had she possessed six kreutzers would have gone off to
the fortune-teller and got her suspicions fully confirmed ;
as it was, she taunted the suspected party with the theft,
and a feud grew up between them that was in danger, at
times, of culminating in a pitched battle. Meanwhile the
handkerchief was safe in my pocket, and, waiting for a
favourable opportunity, I quietly walked off with it to the
huckster, and obtained the remainder of my writing ap
paratus.
I got on with my stolen materials much better than I
deserved under the circumstances. At first, my written
characters, though bold and well-bodied, were not easily
recognised by those who did not happen to be aware what
they were meant to represent ; in fact, I did not know
myself, and that is not much to be wondered at. Many
a pupil in the school had been copying written characters
for years without knowing their names, this being a secret
the schoolmaster did not deem it necessary to divulge to
56 JOYS AND SORROWS

them. Still I contrived to get acquainted somehow with

the values of letters, and could even read old writings.
With what rapture I sat behind a piece of old yellow parch
ment, and how delighted I was if I succeeded in half a
day in making out half a word !
Equally precocious was I in arithmetic. The school
master told me that being so smart at figures, I should
very soon know as much as he did himself. In teaching
the pupils addition, he used to write down some figures,
and count them up himself, saying when the total was
over ten, here such and such a figure and carry one ; so
when the sum was over twenty, carry two, and so on ; no
further explanation was given, beyond remarking that at
last, instead of carrying the figure it was to be written
down. Following his directions, we all managed, in course
of time, to do a sum in addition. It took us somewhat
longer to overcome the difficulties of subtraction, being
only told that when we could not subtract from a numeral
we might borrow ten from the next. "We stuck fast for a
long time at multiplication. True, we had returned to the
old practice of carrying forward a figure, but the multipli
cation table was not supposed to exist in those days, at
least by us ; and it was very rarely indeed that any of us
found a correct answer. Still worse we fared with division.
We knew that we had to begin at the left hand, and in
multiplication at the right ; but few of us before leaving
school had advanced far enough to say four from two we
cannot get, fours in twenty-four six times.
Our progress, of necessity, was slow and laborious, for
no rule or reason of any kind was given us; all we were
told was, that the thing must be done one way and not
otherwise. Owing to this also, what had been learnt was
soon forgotten. Not only had the pupils to recommence
the same thing anew every winter, but usually when occu
pied with one rule they forgot the others ; thus, subtraction
drove away all recollection of addition, and so on. The
minister at the school examination was once going to try
us with a sum in addition, whereupon the schoolmaster
remarked: " I beg your pardon, Reverend Sir, but the chil
dren have not been doing that rule for a long time, they are
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 57

now in division." This observation excited no surprise,

being accepted as a mere matter of course.
My industry was so indefatigable and my memory so
good, that I could follow the teacher with a degree of
readiness such as never before had come under his notice.
Setting me rather a long question in division, " Now," said
he, "if you manage that, I shall walk to church on my head."
Yet, greatly to his astonishment, I found the correct solution.
He then said to methe time was about Lent" you
stay till after the catechising is over, I want to tell you
something."
I had seen a number of the children go into the school
master's house that day with little parcels; I therefore
gladly accepted the invitation to stay, thinking he was
going to regale me with some of the cake he had just
received, by way of rewarding me for my diligence. On
entering his room with him, instead of cake, there was a
slate on the table, and sitting down, he addressed me
this wise :
" Peter, my lad, you have a head like a tithe-collector.
Were you my son I would make a schoolmaster of you at
once, and I strongly advise you to become one of your
own accord. Meanwhile, I mean to show you something
I have never shewn to any one before ; for, if boys knew
it, they would not have any more occasion for my services.
Now, listen," he continued, with a grave air, " I have
never shewn any one how to place the figures, and no one
has ever had the wit to enquire, looking upon the thing as
beyond comprehension. That is the reason why none of
the people understand ciphering, and always have to bring
their accounts to me. Not knowing better, they invaria
bly place the hindmost figure foremost. We are accus
tomed to say, in speaking, four-and-twenty, six-and-thirty,
and so on, instead of twenty-four, thirty-six. The conse
quence of this is, that in writing five-and-twenty, they
first put down five and then twenty. The result of this is
not twenty-five, but five hundred and twenty, which I need
scarcely tell you are very different things. And the same
kind of mistake is made in writing higher numbers,' so
that it even sometimes puzzles me to make out the exact sum
58 JOTS AND SORROWS

they mean by their figures. Therefore, now pay attention.

In writing a hundred and fifty, you must first put down one,
that signifies a hundred; and then put fifty after it. You
must not, as the pupils do, put down a hundred altogether and
then the fifty, for that makes the total a good deal larger
(10050). Again, if any one tells you to set down figures,
do not forget that in writing a hundred and odds, you
must use three figures only ; a thousand and odds, four
figures ; ten thousand, five ; a hundred thousand, six.
More than that no Christian need reckon. People talk of
millions, but I have myself never seen any ; and, as a
general rule, it is better to put down a cipher too many
than one too few. Consequently, Peter, always keep in
mind when you have to write a hundred thousand odds,
you must use six figures, though you do not say six. The
best way is, first to write down six noughts, and put the
other figures in where they will fit best.
I was vastly delighted at being initiated into this grand
mystery ; for I regarded it as a secret of the highest
importance. I expressed my warmest thanks to the school
master for his generosity ; and, for a long time after, con
tinued pronouncing and writing down numbers, till they
pretty well drove me crazy.
It must not be supposed I am here writing fictitious
events, for the purpose of casting ridicule on the old times,
or the old schoolmasters. Such is not the case. The state
of things in most of the country schools in the Canton of
Berne, thirty or forty years ago, were precisely as I describe
them ; and, in confirmation of this statement, I may appeal
to a most talented man, now high in office. When he had
acquired by heart the usual amount of catechism, psalms,
and passages from the New Testament, having expressed a
wish to know something of writing and arithmetic, " No,"
replied his schoolmaster; " these things are not needful to
you. When you have anything to write or calculate, bring
it to me. If people were to know everything, there would
be no religion left in the world ; for, even as it is, there is
a great deal of unbelief about."
The wealthy classes not only kept on acquiring their
education from their inferiors in the social scale, who were
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 59

employed as teachers ; but the rich, with the best inten

tions, could not obtain for their children the knowledge
they were anxious for them to possess, particularly when
the schoolmaster was a little cunning and worldly. Thus,
one hand washes the other. The farmers and small pro
prietors gave the teachers a dog's pay ; and they, on their
side, retaliated, by keeping the children of their paymasters
in ignorance, holding themselves tributary in all their
business transactions. Avarice and niggardliness in this
way punished each other. The well-to-do classes had
often, owing to their ignorance, to pay large sums, for
what, under other circumstances, they could have done
better themselves ; and so were mulcted in larger amounts
than would have been required to pay remunerative school
fees. ,But the most remarkable part of the whole matter
consists in the fact, that, for a long period, schoolmasters
were allowed to teach how and what they chose, there
being no one who had the power to check or alter their
proceedings ; and, it is by no means certain that such a
state of affairs does not exist in some parts of the country
even at the present day.

CHAPTER VI.
I filled the office of substitute for several years, and
secured immunity from all kinds of persecution. But now
I had become old enough to join the catechising class, and
take part in the clergyman's lessons preparatory for
Confirmation. My glory, therefore, had come to an end ;
for now I must leave school.
In our parish, as well as most others of the Canton, a
pupil, after passing into the catechising class, could no
longer attend school. An enterprising vicar once under
took to alter this practice ; but the clergymen and others
composing the assembly in which he suggested the project,
addressed him thus :
" Within the memory of the oldest inhabitant, no
member of a catechising class has ever attended school.
60 JOYS AND SORROWS

Such an innovation is, consequently, contrary to all pre

cedent. As our pious forefathers have done, so also ought
we to do ; and we are determined to resist all such
alterations. You, of course, may do in your parish as you
like ; but what you do in altering school customs, will not
have our sanction."
After such a severe rebuff, the young vicar, enterprising
as he was, thought it best to allow things to remain as they
were.
Until a pupil enters the catechising class, he or she is
regarded as a child ; and some of them remain children, in
this sense, till very late in life. Indeed, a Suabian is not
considered of age till he reaches forty. During this arbi
trary period of childhood, the pupils forget pretty well all
they have learnt, the greater part of which has gone to the
winds. Thus parents are often not far wrong in asserting,
that schooling is of very little practical utility. The cleverest
hoy, say they, often turns out the most ignorant man ; and,
after the children have finished their education, they seldom
or never voluntarily take up a book. It certainly does
appear that children do not comprehend what they are
learning till they have left school. But all this, probably,
arises from a defective system of teaching,from the want
of capacity on the part of the taught ; or, from the bad
management of the child, when at home, by the parents
themselves.
As for myself, I had not learned much; but the most
part of what had been taught me, I still retained in my
memory. Having been duly enrolled as a member of the
catechising class, my attendance at school ceased, for which
I felt extremely sorry. Now I had to betake myself to learn
a trade; and my father determined to teach me his own
Probably he thought the work of two would increase the
earnings, and thus augment the mutual comfort.
To be an apprentice to my father, however, was no child's
play. He had very little patience with me, and gave me
the very worst yarn to begin with. This breaking at everv
moment, brought me in for a constant series of beatings
and scoldings; particularly when I did not comprehend in
a moment what he told me to do;-a course of proceeding
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. CI

that, though it, perhaps, made me more attentive, did not

heighten my esteem for the occupation.
My only solace now was attending the catechising class.
My doing that was rather distasteful to my father ; and he
spoke of all the parties that had to do with it some
what irreverently. " Formerly," he would say, " people
were much better, when there was not half so much going
to be catechised." He could not see the use of putting
one's self about for such a purpose. Attending church
was all very well in its way ; but, even there, he thought,
the minister explained the subject better the more briefly
he treated it.
My father's expostulations had no very great effect. I
was always delighted to attend the class. It released me,
for a time, from the loom. I enjoyed a little fresh air ;
and the school reminded me of many happy hours. Some
times, when the minister had not arrived, I resumed, for a
brief space, my former office.
The minister was a kindly old gentleman, whom we all
very much liked. He was rather partial to me, for being
always ready with my answers. I gave him least trouble.
When any one stuck fast at a question, he would say,
" Well, I know one who can answer it; Kaiser, you tell
us." The ability to give the printed answer to the
printed question was all that was required ; the catechism
itself never being deviated from. Whoever could do
this without faltering, was regarded as perfect. Many
there were, however, who could not accomplish that much.
The weak shook and trembled, not so much through
dread of the minister, as the jeering and laughter of their
comrades.
Though we had but small conception of the meaning
involved in the questions we were answering, still we were
unconsciously imbibing a kind of creed by taking for granted
all the dogmas we were constantly hearing repeated in the
class. But no religious feeling was awakened within us ;
and this chiefly because we directed all our thoughts to
the words. Indeed, the difficulty of obtaining the verbal
answers rendered anything like a general conversation on
the subjects involved nearly impracticable. It has often
G4 JOTS AND SORROWS

itself intently fixed. Fortunately for me, I had another

day's pleasure in view, that enabled me to forget more
readily Easter and its eggs. This was the First Sunday
after Easter, on which all young fellows who had passed
confirmation were expected to present themselves at the
church of the bailiwick and take the oath of allegiance.
Of what allegiance was, we knew little and cared less.
Boys of fifteen or sixteen, who had never been told what a
state or magistracy signifies, and who knew nothing what
ever of the political duties incumbent upon a citizen, were
not likely to entertain much respect for the abstract rights
of the authorities, particularly as they were constantly
hearing the ruler of the state spoken of as either a fool or
a rogue. It does certainly appear to me absurd, requiring
boys to swear obedience to persons of whom they heard a
great deal that was bad and very little that was good.-
However, such is the law of our land. Few of us know
the name of the country in which we dwell, and fewer still
the nature of its government and political institutions, still
we had to swear to defend them ; but, is this not taking
the ground from under the feet of a nation that owes its
existence to patriotism ?
How little the boys knew what they were taking an oath
about, was generally proved by their conduct on the
occasion of the ceremony. This was the first day on
which they were permitted to assume the right of acting
like grown-up persons, to frequent taverns or do anything
interdicted to children by their parents or the minister.
They interpreted the permission as giving them the privilege
to get intoxicated and to create a riot in the village ; and
singularly enough, the day on which they swore for the
first time, to observe the laws, they usually consecrated to
violating them. So long as the rioting and uproar was
confined to disturbing the peace and annoying quiet people,
it was merely laughed at. But if the slightest show of
doubting the legitimacy of the authorities were manifested,
then the matter assumed a different aspect. A distinction
is thus made between respect for the laws and respect for
the legislators, which engenders the belief that the latter
only act for their own honour and benefit, and not for the
well being of the commonwealth.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. G5

Boys who are to take the oath begin providing for the
day some time before. A small sum of money each must
have, and all sorts of means are resorted to, in order to
obtain the needful supplies. A little is usually given by
the parents ; but, however much that may be, it is rarely
deemed enough, so that a good deal has to be stolen some
how to make up the requisite amount.
On the morning of the ^ eat day, the new Sunday
clothes are put on, and the boys proceed with the statt-
holdcr or village magistrate to the bailiwick or county
town. Here the stattholder fastens himself to the chief
magistrate, or provincial governor, who has to give a good
dinner in honour of the occasion. The boys are supposed
to go home immediately after taking the oath ; but they do
nothing of the sort. They think they have as much right
to enjoy themselves as the stattholder and governor; and
they do so accordingly, paying their score, however, with
their own money, and not out of the public pocket as their
betters do.
The young revellers generally adjourn to some road-side
inn, away from the vicinity of the gentlefolks. There boys
from all the parishes round about are congregated. The
youngsters enter proudly, order about mine host and his
waiters, grandly, touch glasses with each other, so ener
getically often, that some of them get smashed; wine
flows abundantly, all is joy tempered with merriment, every
one desires to be thought great, and tries to prove that he
is so, by excelling the others in riot and vociferation.
In the days of my youth all the parishes of the canton*
hated each other very cordially, and no parish made
common cause with another, except to get up a row with
a third. It may, therefore, be expected, when the youth
from various localities assembled together, and drank
immoderately, a fight might ensue, and such generally was
the case. Sanguinary contests arose, which were not
confined to the youths ; grown-up persons, and even grey
beards, taking part in them. These were the good old
times, which the wiseacres of our own day extol as periods
of order, concord and morality. As soon as the wine
began to ferment, taunting words were used, the one ran
66 JOYS AND SORROWS

up against the other, hy chance of course, glasses began

to fly about freely, several hand-to-hand fights were set
on foot, and became more or less violent according to the
light in which the grown persons present viewed the
proceedings. A few of the belligerents usually got pretty
well punished; betaking themselves to their homes with
battered heads and tattered clothes. Initiated into
animosity, they had shown themselves worthy of their
sires, and loyal to the authorities, by a public breach of
the peace.
In order to imitate their elders to the fullest extent,
besides making themselves mad with wine, they began
smoking three -kreutzer tobacco from a one-kreutzer pipe,
thus putting the dot on the i; and all of them who reached
home in safety, thought next morning of many other
things besides the oath they had taken.
It was the anticipation of this great day, that put to
flight my recollections of Easter and its pleasures. I had
paid a visit to my godfather, and so obtained a few batzen.
I had also saved up a few, given me as prize money at the
examinations. I had sold my inkstand and penbox, which
I dared not bring under my father's cognizance. One way
and another I had scraped together the unheard-of sum
of twelve batzens and a half. I counted over this treasure
very frequently, but secretly; for it was absolutely necessary
to conceal from every one in the house that I had any
money in my possession.
On the morning of the eventful day, after having
thoroughly moistened my hair and combed it straight
down over my eyes, I placed the money in my right hand
trousers' pocket, and as soon as I got clear away from the
house, commenced jingling it at a great rate. Many boys,
proceeding on the same errand as myself, were able to
jingle thalers in the same way, whereas I had to content
myself with the music of the baser coin.
We marched to church in regimental order, headed by
the stattholder, who, I am certain had taken no breakfast
that morning, in order to preserve his appetite for the
dinner in prospect. The minister preached rather a *
long sermon, to which none of us paid much attention.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 67

During the entire discourse I was engaged counting my

batzens with my right, and smoothing my hair with my
left hand.
When the clergyman had concluded his admonition, the
governor stepped forward to give us a few words of advice.
He was a tall, gentlemanly looking man, with a sabre at
his side, and a three-cornered cocked hat in his hand.
"Lads," said he, "you have just heard the many beautiful
things the minister has told you ; now listen to the bailiff's
clerk, then lift up three fingers and repeat what I say
Read, Monsieur the Secretary."
This latter was a lean, angular little man, whom the
governor might very easily have put in his coat pocket,
but for the nose, which, extremely long and sharp, seemed
designed, partly as a protection to his own body, and
partly to poke- into the affairs of other people.
The secretary read us a longish homily about obedience,
fidelity, and thankfulness, and then the governor said
something that we repeated with uplifted hands. We
behind did. not hear exactly what the words were, but we
imitated the muttering of those sitting in front, which
seemed to answer the purpose perfectly well. Meantime,
anxious to be off, we were getting tired of the whole affair.
At last the doors were opened, but, before departing, the
governor again addressed us, advising us to go straight
home, and not get quarrelling ; an injunction he might
well have spared us ; for he knew perfectly well it would
not be attended to.
We, now proceeded in high feather to the tavern, each
assuming the attitude of a hero. People were pushed
rudely into the middle of the road, and some premonitory
scuffles had occurred before we reached the house of
entertainment. The scenes there were quite as high
flavoured as those of preceding years. I could not afford
to pay for smashed glasses ; so I did not break anybody's
head with them ; still I managed to get rid of all my
money, got soundly kicked, both by big boys and grown
up men from other parishes, had my Sunday neckcloth torn
to shreds, was very drunk, and, finally staggered towards
home with a pipe in my mouth. I had not got far on my
68 JOTS AND SORROWS

way before I fell into a ditch, and there I lay in the mire,
sick, morose, and miserable. But the dirty water sobered
me somewhat; and I slunk home, got quietly to bed,
rejoicing that, owing to the darkness, my father did not
observe the plight I was in. My head ached so badly
that I scarcely got any sleep ; and so ended with me the
long-looked-for and ever to be remembered Day of
Homage.

CHAPTER VII.
I had already attained some acquaintance with the art of
weaving; but now that the confounded catechising, as my
father called it, was entirely at an end, I was formally
yoked and chained to the loom. From early morning till
far on in the evening I had to ply the shuttles, except when
my mother required my assistance in the field; and if,
owing to bad yarn and out door labour, I did not get the
cloth I was working at finished by a fixed time, my father
treated me like a dog. Once or twice I had to work on
Sunday mornings to make up for lost time, and this was
made a rule ; but the period allowed me to complete my
web was shortened.
I got nothing for all this hard work beyond my food and
clothes. These last 1 had some trouble in obtaining; and,
after all, was but scantily clad.
Since I could scarcely get clothes, money was not to be
expected. Consequently it was a long time before I found
myself in possession of such a sum as twelve batzen, the
largest amount I was able to reach being six kreutzers.
Generally speaking, it is not good that children should
have too much money. They are apt to squander it away;
and, what is worse, to acquire habits of extravagance.
But, on the other hand, neither is it good for them to have
too little, or none at all. In this last case, they never learn
its value, and should any in after years fall into their hands,
it will, in all probability, prove their destruction.
That, however, is not the only evil to be dreaded from a
grown-up youth being kept in a state of pauperism. He
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 69

naturally resorts to all sorts of vile expedients to obtain a

little money. The sons, nay, the daughters, of wealthy
farmers, have become thieves owing to a mistaken close -
fistedness on the part of their parents. A young fellow
without money is, in a great measure, excluded from the
companionship of his equals, for he dare not join in their
sports, because he cannot share their expenditure.
There are some young people who exclude themselves
of their own accord from association with their equals, in
order to save money. Such youths cannot be called
selfish, because they may have a laudable object in view :
they may contemplate doing something with the money
hoarded up, that will do them infinite credit in after-years.
But with those who have no special reason for hoarding
up money, and who are fond of society, the case is very
different; for them to be debarred from association with
their equals, because they cannot do as others do, is com
plete wretchedness. It ought not to be ignored, that even
the innocent amusements of young people require a little
outlay.
Though I never got any money, I knew very well that
besides the cost of my food and clothes, I was earning at
least thirty or forty batzen a week, that is to say, nearly
as much as my father; but notwithstanding this, the house
hold fared no better than before. There was still the
same scolding, nagging, and grumbling. The only difference
was that my father took matters a little easier, and when
he succeeded in doing a little extra business at Burgdorf or
Langenthal, he drank one choppin more, ate an additional
sausage, and bought two cakes of gingerbread for his heir
instead of one. My mother also laid out a little more
money for the girls, bought them some broader velvet
bands, and when she herself went to be bled, drank half a
bottle instead of a choppin of wine.
As an affectionate son and brother, I ought not to have
grumbled at all that ; but it was rather hard to find that
my earnings increased everybody's comfort except my own,
and that I had not even the satisfaction of receiving a
kindly word.
Right or wrong," it stung me to the heart to be a slave
70 JOTS AND SORROWS

without recompense, without thanks, and without love.

On a fine Sunday evening, when I saw the lads and lasses
going gaily to the village, and again beheld the merry
couples returning arm in arm, whilst I had to stand aloof,
alone and joyless, I would often press my burning eyes on
the grass and weep.
In my sorrowing heart evil thoughts arose, and changed
the gathering tears into drops of bitter gall. The selfish
ness of my kindred begot selfishness in me. Can any
blame me if therefore I lost sight of what my parents had
done for me, and only looked at what I did for them ?
Very likely the whole batch of us had had our souls
cramped by the littleness around us, and were all alike un
charitable, vicious, and unsociable. Be this as it may, I
began to think of forsaking the parental roof and taking care
of my own personal interests.
*****
Two long years had passed slowly on their course since
the Homage Day, on which I spent my twelve and a half
batzens, and came home with an aching head, soiled
clothes, and a desolate heart. Summer had come, and
was blazing on the earth. Sunday stood on the calendar;
my father had gone out early in the morning to buy a cow,
for the old one had been sold. Properly I ought to have
gone into the loom-shed ; but I felt so much aversion to it
on that particular morning that I resolved to go to church,
a place to which I had not been for a very long time.
Collecting my Sunday state dress, I thrust my lengthened
limbs into the clothes, which had not increased in size.
Then, entering into the open fresh air, I sauntered off com
fortably in the direction of the church, in spite of my
mother's scolding and threats that she would tell my father.
I felt cheerful at being once again abroad and away from
the detested loom, even though I had no money in my
pocket to enjoy myself like other young people about.
The inside of the church was quite refreshing to me.
The organ sounded so full and so beautiful ; the prayer
soothed me, and, forgetting my miseries, I was much edified
by the Minister's vigorous interpretation of God's goodness
and mercy. I fancied myself for the moment quite in
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 71

another world ; but when the organ pealed for the last
time and its note mysteriously died away ; when the doors
opened, and the congregation began to disperse, then my
sadness revived. I must now quit the sacred edifice in
which I had felt so happy, and return to the outer world
where I was always so miserable. Crossing the threshold,
I could almost have wept, when I thought how many long
weeks and dreary months must elapse before I could re
visit the House of God.
Dejectedly traversing the churchyard, I stumbled upon
my old schoolmaster, who complained that I had altogether
forgotten him, saying that he could not forget me, for such
another pupil he might never have. Then he asked me
why I never came to see him ; and, observing a trace of
sorrow in my face, enquired what was the matter with me,
adding, that I looked just as if I had swallowed a measure
of vinegar.
I was going to reply to these questions, when he pulled
me by the sleeve towards his house, saying, *' I see things
are not as they ought to be with you ; we cannot talk
very well here. Come along ; I have got something in
doors that will cheer you up a bit, and then you can tell me
how you are getting on ; besides, I can give other people
better advice than I can take myself, though I am by no
means singular in that respect."
He placed a small glass of brandy before me, and, whilst
sipping that, I told him how harshly I was treated by my
parents; how they grudged me clothing, and how they
never gave me any money, or allowed me to take any
recreation.
The schoolmaster waxed wroth, said a great many dis
respectful things of my parents, advising ms to leave them,
and look after myself. " You can," said he, " find work as
a weaver anywhere, and, failing that, can hire yourself out
as a farm-servant."
I confessed that I entertained an intense dislike for
weaving, and that I could not expect any wages as an
agricultural labourer, for I could neither sow, milk, nor
feed cattle, and had never in the whole course of my
life driven a horse.
72 JOTS AND SORROWS

The schoolmaster, assuming an air of perplexity, re-filled

his glass; then suddenly striking the table with his fist, he
exclaimed" Well, Peter, my lad, as I told you once
before, you must become a schoolmaster."
This remark was followed by a profound silence. I felt
as if struck by a flash of lightning. We gazed at each
other across the table with large eyes, mine expressing
hesitation, his, satisfaction. As soon as I had brought my
thoughts to bear on the suggestion, I urged several objec
tions, stating that I had forgotten many things, that my
father would not let me go, and so on.
Like all objections not put forth in earnest, mine were
easily refuted. " I am not one of the most unskilful,"
remarked the schoolmaster "; yet, you know about as much
as I do. As to your father's permission, if he refuses it,
you can do as others do, and run away."
" But how am I to get into a school ?" enquired I at
length.
"That is my affair," replied my friendly counsellor ; "you
leave that to me."
Then emptying his glass, he hastily bade me good bye.
His wife had called him twice to dinner, and her commands
it was sometimes dangerous for him to trifle with.

CHAPTER VIII.
A person with a flea in his ear is known to be very rest
less; and so it is also with some people when they get an
idea into their heads. It is astonishing how a hint thrown
out it may be by chancefastens itself to one ; how it
bores itself into our thoughts, drives everything else aside,
permeates our entire imagination, and, like a stream that
has burst its banks, discharges itself into the wide field of
the future.
There are people much more subject to such attacks
than others, whose minds constantly overflow with a flood
of schemes and projects. But these overflowings, like a
cloud of locusts, leave the field they have overrun in a state
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 73

of sterility, and it will continue so till the end of time, if

like inroads be frequently repeated.
There are mental inundations of another character, which,
occurring more rarely, leave behind them a fertile soil, as
with the Nile in the land of Egypt. A plentiful harvest
springs up merrily after they pass away, and they do not
reappear till the crop has been secured.
The man who is not susceptible of such mental over
flowings has a frigid mind. He will enjoy comfort in a
morning gown and slippers, and, with all possible non
chalance, lay batzen on batzen, and pour choppin to chop-
pin ; or, if in a humble sphere, will do obediently what he
is bid, and carry with an easy mind the beggar's wallet
from door to door. The world will owe nothing to these
people, and on their graves we may writeHere lies a body
that had a soul: the body's actions we know ; but what the
soul did, is beyond our knowledge.
Among the fertile minds there are some in the mysterious
bosom of whose invisible souls there lurks a divine power
that engenders living thought, nourishes it, till bursting
bolt and bar it streams fructifying out into the world, and
produces a golden harvest. These are the independent
spirits that stand out boldly amidst their fellows. In them
alone dwells unweakened the celestial inspiration, creating
a world around them without external aid ; but they are
rare, these minds, on this hard, flinty earth.
Others there are, and in great numbers, who need fathers
to their thoughts, schemes, and projects ; and such fathers
are found in a variety of shapes and forms. When the
idea begins to buzz in the brain, it knocks at the walls of
the head to get out, but in vain ; it is too weak to effect a
breach. Such ideas must not only have fathers, but also
midwives to deliver them, whose duty it is to bring out the
nascent thought into the light of day, wrap it up in the
necessary swaddling clothes, nurse and tend it. In such
cases father and midwife are often one and the same
person.
I had got a head of the latter kind. The schoolmaster
had thrust an idea into it, which could not get out ; but it
had gradually taken root firmly in my brain. For a time,
74 JOYS AND SORROWS

I could not make out why I was so restless; bewildered,

my head swam round and round, and I nearly missed the
well-known path to my home.
My mother's scolding at my being so late, I did not
hear; nor did I observe that she had swiftly carried away
the plates. Very probably she and my sisters had been
regaling themselves with meat ; for, without meat, there is
not much need for plates. Anyhow, I got no meat ; some
dry beans, as thick as a smith's thumb, and nearly as hard
as his anvil, were given me. I chewed away at them
bravely, and those that refused to be chewed I swallowed
down whole with might and main.
When my father came home, complaints were made
about me. After lecturing me in his usual vigorous style,
he ordered me off to the weaving-shed, whither I went with
out grumbling, and wove away, I know not how, nor at
what material.
My head still continued in a whirl ; but out of the
tumult of formless impressions, distinct thoughts and feel
ings began to issue ; and I became conscious of the
workings of my mind. One sentiment became predomi
nant ; that of pride at the idea of becoming a school
master. People may wonder how it is that pride arising
from such a. notion should set the knocker of the heart
a-stir. Doubtless they do not see what reason there is for
pride at the idea of being a schoolmaster. Yet, good
people, that is not so incomprehensible as it may appear at
first sight ; for, not only does the anticipation engender the
feeling, but, what is more, there is pride in actually being
a schoolmaster, so much so, indeed, that many of the
fraternity are never able to shake it off. It may be dis
cerned in them a hundred yards away ; it is plainly per
ceptible in the back and shoulders of some, and in the
mouths of others, whether they open them for eating,
talking, or singing.
The feeling of pride stealing over myself was intelligible
enough ; because, during many years, I had scarcely any
reason to have a twinge of the sensation. Now it took
hold of me effectively and at once ; nor have I since been
able altogether to suppress it ; for even at the present day,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 75

it throws me into a fever at times. Therefore I have

imposed the penitence upon myself of confessing this sin
before my brethren in office, who will doubtless censure
me for admitting that a schoolmaster can have a defect,
and such a defect as pride.
Yet just consider what the most of us have been before
entering into the profession. Had the great majority of us
not been reduced to the last extremity of misery, we should
never have thought of becoming schoolmasters. A being,
then, who is the dish-clout of the whole world, whom every
one considers himself entitled to tease, torment, and ill
treat, beholds himself all at once under a roof of his own,
sees under his feet a hundred children, who regard him as
second to none in the parish, save the minister. Has such
a one not some reason to indulge in a moderate measure of
pride ? Moreover he has a whole pile of hopes, embracing
all manner of dignities, which buzz about him and cling to
him like wasps to horses in summer time.
Who will blame the poor schoolmaster, if he retains this
pride after all his hopes have been blasted ? It has adhered
to him since all was bright in his dreams of the future ; for,
like other mortals, he has days of glorious visions. In
some, these dreams doubtless have assumed a carnal com
plexion ; but in others they bear a spiritual and less worldly
hue. Is he then to cast off this sentiment, when it is
perhaps the only memento that remains to him of the
glowing past ? It may be that at times he has to conceal
his pride under a tattered coat ; occasionally he will have
to borrow a dozen kreutzers from some one a little richer
than himself, or will have to crave a week's more milk on
credit from a neighbour's wife. Who will think him base
if, on returning from such sour errands, he gives his pride
an airing in presence of an affectionate wife ? Sitting in a
duskily-lighted room, he compares his own handwriting
with that of the minister; and, striking his breast, exult-
ingly exclaims: "lam his superior at all events in one
respect !" his wife, who, in a dark corner, is rocking one
child and suckling another, adding, by way of a sequel :
" Ah yes, things go unfairly in the world,"who, I ask,
will grudge him the inward joy this manifestation of pride
affords?
76 JOTS AND SORROWS

Still I must admit, that the pride glowing within me at

the idea of becoming a schoolmonarch was mingled with a
good deal of fear. I was fearful that I should not be able
to escape from the paternal mansion, and 1 was fearful,
lest, in the event of my obtaining an appointment, I should
not be able to keep it. I had not practised any of my
school arts for more than a year, with the exception of
reading, and even that very rarely.
I knew, from experience, that what is learned, unless
kept in the mind by some means, is soon forgotten. I
therefore set about putting myself under examination ; but
that I could only do in secret, as otherwise it would have
brought me in for a lecture, and perhaps a drubbing.
I was agreeably astonished to find I had not forgotten
much. I could read all the accustomed books, either
straight or upside down ; but, on trying the experiment
with an old newspaper, wrapped round a cake of ginger
bread my father brought home for his heir, found I could
not get on at all. This, however, did not cause my hair
to turn grey, for, thank God ! newspapers are not used as
schoolbooks.
There being neither pen, ink, nor even a lead-pencil in
the house, I had some difficulty in testing my proficiency
as regards writing and arithmetic. At last, having fallen
in with a piece of chalk, I discovered that I could form all
the characters used in writing, except a few of the capitals
that had escaped my memory. This defect, however, I
did not consider material, as the small letters would answer
the purpose quite as well, and, taking up less space, would
save paper and ink.
In arithmetic, too, I got on pretty fairly; only I could
not call to mind whether in division the figures are put
below the others. I had also forgotten whether, in mul
tiplication, the two figures are at the end or the reverse.
But I felt consoled by reflecting that the old schoolmaster
would kindly solve all those doubts for me.
With the result of my self-examination, I was upon the
whole tolerably well pleased. My fears on that score
gradually vanished ; and, as they faded away, all kinds of
hopes came gamboling before my eyes and through my
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 77

thoughts. I fancied myself in bed so late as seven o'clock

in the morning, and, in the evenings, sitting at a comfort
able stove, instead of in a damp weaving shed. I beheld
myself beautifully dark-red, all the way to behind the ears,
leading the singing at church ; saw children bring into my
room little sacks, bottles, and baskets, and heard them
say, " Good morning, schoolmaster ; father and mother
wish you a good day, and there is a present for you."
Then I fancied myself making some nice coffee in the
morning, and superintending the cooking in the kitchen at
midday ; noticing how the black-puddings hissed, the
sausages frizzled, and. the roast-pork smelt, All this
tingling through my marrow and bones, made my mouth
water. Next I imagined myself eating, without anybody
being privileged to take the best bits away from me. What
remained, I put up into the cupboard. In the afternoon, I
took a look at the fragments of the feast, appeasing my
appetite with the end of a sausage. Again, in the evening,
I comforted the inner man with the black puddings. All
this I fancied, and a great deal more, which it will not do
to tell, for, in that case, I should blush myself, and my
wife might not like it.
When I got right into the way of thinking, seeing, and
smelling, I began to feel as if all the good things were
actually between my teeth, and my hands would involun
tarily direct themselves towards my mouth. At times, I
would be roused ungently from my dreams by my father's
voice or fist, who did not, in these cases, spare either his
imprecations or thumps. Perhaps he would observe, spite
of the manner I sent the shuttle flying, that the threads
were broken. Then a thunderstorm would break out, and
the blows fly about in right down earnest. He would ask
to know how it was I could no longer either see or smell,
not being aware that I possessed both these senses very
acutely, though I did not turn them to the purposes he
desired.
Thus I sat on my stool at the loom, brooding over my
thoughts. New ones came at every instant, till my head
was filled with them to bursting. But how to bring any of
them into practical operation I could not divine, and I
78 JOYS AND SORROWS

might have sat on the same stool, thinking, to the present

moment, had not the old schoolmaster come to extricate
me from the dilemma.
The languishing trees had already strewed the ground
with their faded leaves, when, one Saturday afternoon, I
saw the kindly old man pass the house, and proceed on
wards towards the forest. I stared at him through the
chinks of the windows, and was half-inclined to run after
him ; but this notion, like the others, had not power enough
to act upon my inert body, and I did not. Shortly after, I
heard him talking to one of my sisters at the well ; still I
did not move, though I fancied he might want to see me.
He talked away a good while, and at length, I suppose
getting impatient, asked for me, entered the shed, and, in
a half-angry tone, said, " Peter, you are a booby; can you
not smell a rat ? Could you not guess I had something to
tell you, and come out of your hole? Call on me to-morrow,
after dinner; I know of something likely to suit you."
He could not well add any more, for my mother had come
to hear what was going on. She could smell a rat, though
I could not.
I passed a more than usually unquiet night ; for, in
addition to all the old dreams, there were now visions of
employment and pay. At length morning broke, and
lingered slowly past. My mother appeared alarmingly
dilatory in getting dinner ready. Occasionally I slipped
out of the weaving- shed, when I knew she was out of the
way, and thrust a clump or two of wood into the fire, to
hasten on the cookery, but all in vain. We had to wait for
my father, who had gone to church ; and it so happened
that the minister was preaching the school-sermon, which
was longer than on ordinary occasions.
After dinner, I put on my state coat, and was preparing
to go out, which excited some surprise, as I had of late
stayed closely at home. My mother began to nag ; but
she was stopped by my father's remarking, " Well, let him
go and have a drink; he will not spend a king's ransom."
This was quite true, for, at all events, I could not have got
drunk by means of the money I had in my possession.
I had not proceeded far before I met the schoolmaster,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 79

who had come some part of the way to meet me. He told
me that he was going to take me to a neighbouring village,
the schoolmaster of which had fallen into ill-health. The
parish had promised him ten thalers if he hired an .assistant
for the winter, and provided him with board and lodging.
He had agreed to do that, because he could not help it,
and had half promised to engage me.
This was not exactly the sort of thing I had expected,
and hinted to my companion that, being tired of serving, I
should have preferred a school to myself.
" That is likely enough," replied he; "but you must
creep before you can walk:" adding that it was an uncom
monly lucky thing for me the chance, such as it was, had
turned up. He himself had been for three years assistant
in a school; and, though all he got during that time was
his board and a pair of shoes, it was the happiest period of
his life.
I could not reasonably make any further remonstrances,
and it would have been of little use if I had ; for my kind
friend never laid down anything he had taken in hand,
whether it was an egg or an enterprise.
On reaching the school- house, we found the school
mastera consumptive, spiteful-looking mansitting with
his wife ; both still in the prime of life. I was formally
introduced, and negotiations were entered upon; but it was
some time before a bargain was struck. My master in
prospective probably thought we knew nothing about the
ten thalers, and at first only offered me board, then gradu
ally raised his offer a thaler at a time, till he had yielded
the whole up. When he reached the last, and I had agreed
to accept the situation, he set up a considerable wailing,
saying that he would have preferred a smaller assistant, for
such a big lad as I was would eat him up. So, by way of
indemnification, he demanded that, when off duty, I should
act as a kind of man-servant. To this my old mentor agreed,
without thinking it necessary to consult me, and the Sun
day after Michaelmas was fixed upon as the day I was to
enter office. After partaking of some coffee, we sauntered
home,my companion very loquacious, and I extremely
taciturn.
80 JOTS AND SORROWS

CHAPTER IX.
I pblt somewhat less elated than I had been previously,
for now all my grand notions, when reduced to plain every
day fact, amounted to this,that I had probably to work
hard during school hours, and afterwards perform the
drudgery of a household. Not that I wanted the over
hours for any other purpose. Self-improvement I did not
think of; for it was not supposed in those days that one
who could read straight forward and upside down, required
any further qualifications to be a schoolmaster, particularly
when he knew writing and arithmetic, all except some
capital letters and some doubts about division and multi
plication. Besides, the term self-improvement is a disco
very of modern times, not yet well understood at least,
by those who need it most.
Besides all this, I did not like the look of my new master;
and another thing that oppressed me was the difficulty I
should inevitably encounter in getting away from home.
How, I thought, would my mother look when I told her I
was going away? What would my father do when he
heard of it ? And, most important of all, who was to tell
them ?
Whilst I was thus musing, my old companion kept on
talking ; but I paid no attention to his discourse. At last,
observing that I was not listening to him, he asked me,
with a puzzled face, what I was thinking about.
I explained to him the trouble I was likely to have in
shaking off the paternal fetters ; whereupon he laughed,
and said," Peter, my lad, they will not eat you; and if
you do get a drubbing, it will not be the first you have had
in your life. Besides, you will then have all the more right
to start off. Better tell them this very night ; you will find
it all the more difficult to do so the longer you delay. If
they kick up a row, then leave at once, without more ado.
But you must have courage ; come and have a bottle at the
tavern, to brace your nerves."
Instead of one bottle, we had two ; and after I had drunk
my share, I felt all my doubts and difficulties had departed.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 81

I no longer dreaded the paternal anger, and, with my cap

cocked a little on one side, assumed an air of defiance.
Then my old friend said, with a roguish twinkle in his
eye," Now you will do; be off home as fast as you like."
It is singular how differently a person acts when he is
free from care, than when he has a load on his mind, par
ticularly if his intellect be a trifle weak. People rarely
consider this, and are consequently apt to form unjust con
clusions regarding the conduct of others. As for myself,
I had completely forgotten my cares, and being just then
fit for anything, stepped boldly into the house, where I
found father, mother, and sisters, peacefully engaged in
roasting apples. This was a calm before the storm. No
body returned my greeting when I entered ; nothing was
offered me to eat. They had probably been talking about
me, and had got cross at my being out so late, which very
likely had caused some of them to do something I had
been accustomed to do.
This state of affairs roused my choler. It was only
eight o'clock, and it was only the second time I had been
out so late. Both my father and sister had often come
home at a later hour, and they had always had something
to eat. All this I told them in a few angry words. My
mother burst out in her turn, saying, that it was a fine thing
for me to waste all the afternoon out of doors, and then come
home grumbling. The rest chimed in with her, and a
chorus of vituperation followed ; even the little hereditary
prince screamed a soprano to my father's bass.
Now the spirit fired up within me. Making as great a row
as possible, I loudly protested I would no longer be the
dog of them all, and that I should leave the house and go
away.
This announcement was received with some degree of
astonishment. But, after a brief pause, my mother shrilly
vociferated that I might go for aught she cared, and that
she would have been pleased if I had gone long ago. My
father added, that he had no objection whatever, and only
regretted that there was nobody who would have anything
to do with such a booby as I was.
I had become tranquil after uttering my determination.
82 JOYS AND SORROWS

All that the spirit within was able to accomplish had now
been done. My heroism vanished, and I almost felt
frightened at my own audacity. I likewise experienced a
little vexation on finding my parents take the matter so
easily. It seemed even as if they were really anxious to
be rid of me. This was humiliating.
Next morning I commenced diligently plying the shuttle
to finish the piece of work I had in hand. All of them
looked upon this as a sign of repentance for my riotous
behaviour, and treated me with scorn accordingly. After
the labours of the day were finished I began looking over
my linen and clothing, which I found for the most part
tattered and dirty.
As I am speaking of linen, a lady might suppose I mean
five or six dozen shirts, and other things in proportion.
But this is not the case. I had only three shirts, one pair
of worsted stockings without heels, a necktie, and two
pocket-handkerchiefs, the greater part of which were in a
miserable state. The other departments of my wardrobe
were in keeping with these. But, I thought in my
simplicity that my mother might mend them, and my
father supply me with a few fresh things, as shoes and
stockings, particularly as I was about to go amongst
strangers.
A week elapsed, and on a Tuesday morning, when my
father was about to start for Langenthal, I gave utterance
to my request. Potz ! what had I not to hear on all sides,
now that I had no wine within me to reply 1 They told
me to go by all means, but that they were not going to be
cheated into mending my clothes and giving me new shoes
and stockings, simply because I said so.
Fainthearted and humbled I bore all their abuse uncom
plainingly, consoling myself with the notion that I might
wear the shirts inside out for another fortnight ; the hand
kerchiefs I could wash myself, and as a schoolmaster's
assistant might get through the winter with my wooden
shoes.
Thus, I had to enter my new office, unwashed and
unmended, and on the Sunday morning appointed, packed
up my wardrobe, and in my holiday dress sat down to
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 88

dinner. In accordance with the somewhat filthy customs

of the peasantry, having licked my fingers, wiped my
spoon on the table cloth, and my mouth on my sleeve, I
went up to my chamber, fetched down my bundle, which
fortunately, in accordance with a hint I had received from
my friend the schoolmaster, I placed outside the door.
During the last few days my parents had so often told
me to go, and made merry about my going, that now I
merely expected a renewal of their jeers. I was prepared
to hear these ; but in revenge I determined, neither to tell
them where I was going, nor that I had a place. Let
them, thought I, expect me back every day, miss my
earnings, become curious about my whereabouts, and at
last, let them find out I have been able to get on without
them.
Making up my mind to retaliate their jokes upon them
in this way, I entered the house, and said, " Now I am off,
the Lord bless you, and do not be angry with me."
All eyes were turned upon me ; and some of them began
to emit sparks like those of wild cats. I offered my hand
to my mother, who was sitting at the lower end of the
table ; but she struck it away, and the others did the
same. When I reached my father, who was seated at the
other end of the table, I met, to my great astonishment,
quite a different sort of reception.
In a loud, harsh, angry tone he told me that it was
rather a good joke for children, who had been reared at
a great expense, to wipe their mouths and walk off, as
soon as they had become a little useful. He then com
manded me peremptorily to go into the shed, and not to
put a foot outside the door. I had expected to be told as
usual to go, instead of which I was now gruffly ordered to
stay. This alteration of style completely bewildered me.
I stood for a moment at a loss to know what it all meant,
and at last I said, I was determined to go, for I could do
nothing that pleased them.
A general hubbub ensued. My father sprang up as if
to lay hold of me ; my mother screamed out, " Give the
booby a sound thrashing." This, however, I did not wait
for. Bushing to the door, upsetting my little brother on
84 JOTS AND SORROWS

my way, I snatched up my bundle, and took to my heels.

My father ran after me, declaring that he would throttle
me, as soon as he got me by the shoulders, protesting at
the same time he would go to the Governor, and see
whether children could decamp in such a fashion. I had
got a good start of him, so that there was not much
chance of his catching me ; and at last he gave up the
chase, but continued raving; and, on turning round, I
could see the others at the windows, and hear them
echoing his words, my mother's denunciations being even
more horrible than those of my father.
This was the blessing I received from my parents when I
left their house. It scorched my heart, it benumbed my
limbs, which almost refused to carry me further. One kind
word at this moment might have stayed my steps, led me
back, and induced me to settle down quietly at the loom.
But it came not, this word of kindness ; on the contrary,
the terrible imprecations urged me onwards, whilst they
made my whole frame tremble with horror.
I thought myself like Cain, who, with the word
Murderer vibrating through his soul, was driven restlessly
about the earth. But when the imprecations had finally
died away, my fright departed, and the blood began to
circulate more freely through xny veins. I felt pained at
going into the world burdened with such parental maledic
tions; but a-voice within me whispered I had done no
wrong. I began to reflect that I had recently earned as
much for them as my childhood had cost ; that they had
treated me unkindly and- selfishly; that such usage
-cancelled all claims to gratitude ; and that had I continued
a drudge, I must have been ruined. Formerly I had loved
my parents ; but this affection had been deadened by their
-own conduct. I had proved myself dutiful and submissive,
but had received no sign of approbation. All this my
understanding demonstrated, and convinced me I was in
the right, my parents in the wrong.
Still there was a burning at my heart I could not quencli
a profound sorrow I could not drive from my soul. I
dreaded the effects of the fearful anathemas that my parents
had fastened to the neck of their child. A tremor abided
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 85

in tlie marrow of my soul; when I staggered across my

new master's threshold, and whenever afterwards life
handled me roughly, I heard the words of my parents
ringing in my ears. To them I ascribed many of the
stumbles I afterwards made, trembling lest they should
cause me heavier falls and more crushing blows. All my
understanding could not purify my breast from this
festering sore; so terrible a thing it is to go into the
-world with a crushed heart.

CHAPTER X.
Staggering, as I have said, into my new home, I fell
plump against the door ; whereupon the schoolmaster
suggested, that the next time I came in I ought to do it a
little more gently, otherwise I might break the door down.
His wife, while I was eating a dish of soup, having cast her
eyes upon my bundle, asked if that contained all my clothes ;
1 blushed up to my ears, and muttered something, for I
had throughout life great hesitation in telling a falsehood.
She guessed the truth, and hoped enquiringly that it was
all washed. Again there was a blush and an indistinct
sentence. Her face then assumed a very sour expression,
and she observed that they did not want other people's
dirt, for they had plenty of their own ; besides which, she
did not care to have a washing-day every week.
The lady who made these remarks had a face like a nut
meg grater, and all the characteristics of a confirmed shrew.
It must be admitted, however, that her temper had been
sorely tried. Her husband was constantly ill, and imagined
that he had a great many more ailments than he actually
laboured under ; besides which, he fancied those he had
were more serious than they really were. A great portion
of his earnings was spent in drugs, scarcely a day pass
ing that he did not have something or other from the
apothecary, leaving everything else but physic to be pro
vided by his wife; she on her side retaliated by being
thoroughly unmerciful as regards his maladies. He might
cou"-h or pant as miserably as he could, she evinced no com
86 JOYS AND SORROWS

passion ; on the contrary, if in a bad humour, she would

tell him briefly and distinctly, that if he were not so lazy,
he would work more and be all the better for it.
At first this appeared to me very cruel, and I thought it
even worse than my father's conduct towards my mother.
Subsequently experience, however, showed me that poverty
had a great deal to do with all this nagging and harsh
ness. It was the pinchings of penury that grumbled, and
not any natural acerbity of disposition. Moreover, a
husband that is always thinking of himself, and critically
examines every breath, cannot but make his wife impatient,
render her irritable, and instil her with a belief that most
of his ills are mere pretence. Where there is plenty of
money, patience alone is put to the test; but where this
is wanting, and the little there is, expended in medicine,
then the temper also becomes soured.
Thus my reception was anything but kindly, and matters
did not improve in that respect during the rest of the
evening. Abrupt questions were put to me, into the
intonation of which was thrown a hint that I was an
unwelcome guest, thrust upon them against their wish or
inclination. At length I was shown to my sleeping room,
and, for the first time in my life slept under a stranger's
roof. It then occurred to me that, after all, it was much
more comfortable to dwell with unkind parents, with
familiar faces around, than with unkind strangers, in a
strange house and a strange village.
When I got up next morning, the mistress of the
establishment informed her husband and myself that be
fore the school was recommenced the turnips must be
housed and the sheaves threshed : she did not intend to
do all that sort of work herself, for, as she did not swallow
everything, she expected those who shared in the eating
would lend a hand in the working. The school-room had
not yet been cleared out, and that was a hardish job. It
had been used, during the summer, as a barn and lumber-
room ; the fruit had been stored up in it, and it had been
made a receptacle for spinning wheels and whole heaps of
flax and hemp.
The place was not much larger than a farmer's parlour,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 87

and it had to accommodate upwards of two hundred

children. There were four tables, the biggest of which
ran along the centre, the others along the walls, and the
Fourth near the oven ; with the exception of the last,
which was a small one for the younger children, they were
all three feet broad.
The round windows, glistening in all imaginable colours,
had not been cleaned for years, and were consequently
almost blocked up with dirt ; the rest of the building, corre
sponding with the windows, was dark and dingy ; a picture
of unceasing decay, perceptible by the laths becoming year
after year more visible, and by additional shreds of straw
hanging down from the eaves. The heritors of the parish
seemed to look upon the edifice as too sacred to be touched;
for none of them would furnish a few bundles of straw to
renovate the roof, however much ado the schoolmistress
made about their remissness. Latterly she had discovered
there was not much good in talking to them : her goat
had been frozen to death owing to crevices in the barn,
and, when she applied for compensation, was told she had
no business to keep a goat in winter ; the former school
master had not done so, consequently the present one had
not the right.
The whole place was rapidly falling to pieces. The
bricks of the oven, though ten inches thick, were split and
cracked, so that the fire often peeped inquisitively into the
room, and the smoke issued from it in columns dense
enough to cure hams and sausages. The floor was so full
of holes that it required an immense deal of ingenuity to
fix the tables steadily, and wooden shoes often stuck so fast
in the crevices that the schoolmaster had to use force to
rescue the children from the traps they had stepped into.
It was a long time before the apples and potatoes had been
gathered out of these ruts and crannies to the satisfaction
of the schoolmistress.
At length the school-room was cleared out, and a heavy
fall of snow coming on, produced what is regarded in the
country as glorious school weather. I was sent round the
village to give notice to the parents that the school would
re-open on the following day, and was instructed to call at
88 JOTS AND SORROWS

the same time upon the treasurer and urge him to send in
some bundles of brushwood to heat the school oven, for
there were none left.
It is the custom of every peasant to store up wood for
winter use, because, when dry, it gives out more heat and
is much more economical ; and this custom has prevailed
since the days of his great grandfather. Not so, however,
as regards school fire-wood. That from time immemorial
has consisted of green bush cuttings, usually filled with
ice and snow. When the schoolmaster makes an effort to
have this time honoured practice modified, he is met by
the remark, that it is astonishing he cannot manage to do
as his predecessors have always done ; and that it is sur
prising why he is discontented with what they were satisfied.
The consequence of this logic was, that I had to get up at
five in the morning and use two bundles of fagots to set
three alight, a process that probably occupied me till six,
the smoke meanwhile rising thick and black as if for the
purpose of smothering bees. The ice and snow would
melt ; and, after almost setting the fagots afloat, would flow
out on the floor, and give the children a foot-bath, whilst
the smoke and steam, filling the room, compelled us to
make two efforts before we could draw in a mouthful of
air.
I undertook my commission to the village rather un
willingly, for I was somewhat timid. The treasurer said
he could not promise any cuttings just at present, but as
soon as threshing was over would send his men to the
forest ; meantime I might cut some bundles of brushwood
from his fence which was no great way from the school-
house ; adding, that the old man might attend to the school
half a day now and then himself without any assistance.
When I called at the houses of the parents, the people
stared at me as if I had been a wild beast. At one place
only I was invited inside, and that was for the purpose of
introducing me to a little boy, who was so much afraid of
the master that he refused to go to school. I accordingly
made myself as agreeable as possible, and fortunately wou
the child's favour.
On my return, I reported all that had occurred. The
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 89

schoolmaster and his wife seemed pleased to learn I had

only been asked into one house, and they made several
scurrilous remarks about the people that had done so.
Very few children made their appearance at school next
morning. Altogether there were only about a dozen of
the smaller ones. With these the schoolmaster let me
have my own way, both forenoon and afternoon. I liked
the teaching much better than lighting the fire, so that the
time flew quickly and pleasantly away. The alphabet and
the spelling, putting me in mind of old times, amused me;
almost every word reminding me of some joke or incident,
I often could not help smiling. The children observing
that I was addicted to hilarity felt more at their ease, and
we became very good friends. In addition to the spelling,
there was a little repeating from memory, but nothing new ;
and so it continued day after day.
The number of scholars gradually increased, though the
room was by no means nearly full. The schoolmaster
seemed surprised that so many had already come in, and
said it must be out of curiosity. That, however, was not
my opinion ; for I had some reason to think the children
were beginning to like me ; paying them a good deal of
attention, they were making very fair progress; and when
they stuck fast, I took much more patience with them than
they had been accustomed to, which doubtless made them
pleased with my manner and mode of teaching.
I had the stick constantly in my hand, but merely
threatened to use it, and never made good my threat. I
had been the object of so much hate, that now I yearned
to be loved and praised. It is true, that as yet I had only
had the younger children to deal with, the elder ones
having their threshing still to attend to ; but even their
attachment I prized. They all seemed satisfied with me
and were very obedient, though there was a good deal of
noise at the tables I did not happen to be near ; but that I
was used to, and thought it inevitable.
One morning, while lighting the fire, I fled, to escape
the stifling smoke, into the kitchen, which was close to the
schoolmaster's room. There I overheard an altercation
between him and his wife. The latter was rating her hus
90 JOYS AND SORROWS

band roundly for not going oftener into the schoolroom, in

consequence of which I did as I liked. She said the
butcher's wife had spoken to her yesterday of the nice
assistant they had gottold her that the children liked to
go to school, talked a deal about it at home, and had never
made so much progress before. If he allowed all this to
go on any longer, she added, I would elbow him out, and
in that case he would be landed in the mud. After this
preliminary dissertation, she entered upon a general lecture
about his laziness, declaring that if he were not a good-for-
nothing idle fellow, he would not require the services of
the beggarly boy at all.
The husband admitted there was some truth in her re
marks, but protested I would find, in the long run, that no
man or boy in the canton could elbow him out ; the
governor had told him twenty years ago that he was the
greatest nigaud in existence, and, thank God, there was
some weight in what a governor said. I did not myself
understand exactly what this word "nigaud" signified, but
he evidently used it as a synomyme of philosopher.
The conversation of the married pair gratified me ex
ceedingly. Since my first walk out, I had spoken to none
of the villagers ; consequently this was the first intimation
I received that my proceedings had met approval out of
doors; and I felt confident that if the Governor knew me,
he would consider me a still greater nigaud than my
master. I now began to think myself a personage, and
assumed that peculiar sort of gait which my dear little wife
tried hard to get me to abandon. She had seen the children
mimic it, and said she liked me twice as well when I walked
straight upright without tucking up my coat-tails.
The master came down to the schoolroom that morning
in an exceedingly bad humour, saying that he would have
to attend to things himself if I did not look after them
better. This exordium made me stare ; whereupon he
asked me if I thought he paid me wages for standing there
gaping ?how could I pretend to be a teacher, when I did
not know what to do in a school? and why was it I did
not attend to the children spelling ?
Had I not overheard the matrimonial bickerings a few
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 91

hours before, I should have been astonished and grieved at

all this. As it was, it only added a spark to the gun
powder of my vanity. Of course I did not dare to fly out
into a passion; that was not in my nature: besides, in those
days it was not the custom to bristle up against one's
superiors. I determined to avenge myself in another way,
and an opportunity was not long wanting. Out of sheer
testiness the master scolded one of the boys, who after
wards stood up and made all sorts of ridiculous grimaces
behind his back. Instead of correcting this, I smiled ap
provingly, to the great delight of the entire school.
Again, he had sent me to hear the spelling. This I did
with the utmost diligence, being even more patient than
usual with the inveterate dunces, thus disarming his impe-
riousness by submission. And so, when one in authority
adopts harshness as a weapon of offence against an inferior
armed with docility and gentleness, the latter will gene
rally come off victorious.
My superior in office adopted all sorts of expedients to
teaze and annoy me in school. Complaining that I could
neither read nor spell correctly, he told me I did not enun
ciate the vowels or final syllables long enough, desiring me
to give them a drawl peculiarly his own. Singing was
another branch of the school business in which he found
me very defective. He said I sang so badly that I always
put him out. The latter part of the accusation was just
enough, for in trying to excel each other, the one attempted
to drown the other's voice ; and sometimes, in his attempts
to outbawl me, his cough would come on, and I would
remain master of the situation.
His auger would blaze up into a flame if I ventured to
approach the table where three or four of the pupils, after
New Year's-day, had commenced writing, though as yet
no arithmetic had been mooted. I cculd not refrain from
showing that I understood writing, by pointing out how
some particular letter should be formed. This always threw
the worthy old man into a rage. " One," he said, " who
could not read printing, should not pretend to know
writing."
1 did not fare much better out of the school than in it.
92 JOTS AND SORROWS

After school hours, the master ceased worrying and took

to drinking his medicine ; but his wife chivalrously came to
the rescue, and supplied a sufficient amount of invective to
pepper my meals pretty strongly. She was not overly nice
as to the character of her jibes, asking me day after day
whether my shirt was put on right side out, and how much
was left of my stockings. My way of heating the rooms
gave her intense dissatisfaction ; they had never felt less
warm, and there had never been so much wood used.
Occasionally she would hint to her husband that he had
better look out: people complained bitterly about the bad
management in school the children made no progress
whatever, particularly the younger ones; and if things went
on as they did much longer, the children would all take the
measles.
In addition to the constant nagging, the food was unin
viting. I got none of the good things the children were
constantly bringing as presents. I smelt, but never saw
them at any of the meals. This state of matters did not
altogether escape the notice of the children. They alluded
to it at their homes, and, as they saw 1 took an interest in
them, they roused the compassion of the parents in my
behalf, and several got orders to invite me to supper.
Sometimes even, whilst cutting wood, a paterfamilias would
stand talking to me, pay me some compliments, and ask
me to call upon him.
I accepted all this as a tribute to my personal merits;
but there was a good deal of it probably due to a curiosity
on the part of the villagers to know how my master and
mistress managed their domestic affairs; and I, nothing
loath, was always ready enough to gratify them with
such details, particularly as regards their treatment of
myself. People generally are fond of scandalizing their
neighbours, and I was no exception to the rule ; yet, in
common with others, I disliked being scandalized, forgetting,
with them, that I was a scandalizer myself. But so the
world goes: our heads are full of supposed affronts or
neglects, and we are perpetually speaking ill of something
or somebody; for, what is bred in our narrow hearts finds
itself an outlet at the tips of our tongues.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 93

It was no easy matter for me to take advantage of the

invitations I received. There was always a multitude of
things for me to do. I had to get ready the victuals for
the following day, or fifty other things. Even on Sunday
there was as much drudgery to be gone through as on the
other days of the week. Still my anxiety to make friends
and hear what was thought of me abroad, overcame my
submissiveness and dread of a scene.
The parents of the boy who at first would not come to
school, but who now could not be induced to stay at home,
had often invited me to their house; and one evening,
after having fed the goats, I set off to pay them a visit.
They received me very kindly, and, placing some refresh
ments on the table, thanked me for my attention to their,
boy, telling me a number of things he said about me, most
of which were very flattering. From that they passed over
to what my mistress had said, which was the reverse of
complimentary. This, however, they qualified by declaring
they did not believe her, for they knew her to be one of
the greatest viragoes in the parish ; every body disliked
her, but they were afraid of her, for she found a variety of
means to annoy people she had an enmity against.
These observations entirely coinciding with my own
views, unsealed my lips. I related all the odd things I
had observed going on in the house; how I was treated in
the school, and how I could teach the children much better
if I had every thing my own way, not forgetting to throw
in a good deal of self-laudation. The evening passed away
very pleasantly with us all, and my annoyances were no
longer thought of. But time had also dropped out of my
memory, and I was somewhat scared on hearing ten o'clock
strike. The reception awaiting me at home rushed into
my mind, and Mr. Amman, seeing I was about to start off,
thrust a five batzen piece into my hand. I was much
inspirited by this gift; for now I could get my shirts
washed; besides, an individual with five batzens, is a
different sort of person from one who has only bread
crumbs in his pocket.
My reception was by no means such as my experience,
under the paternal roof, had led me to expect. I was
94 JOYS AND SORROWS

assailed with neither abuse nor blows. Probably the

schoolmaster and his wife thought, as I was only engaged
for a temporary period, they had no right to detain me at
home. It is true, they grumbled and made satirical
remarks as usual, particularly next day, when they observed
I did not seem to relish the potatoes quite so much as
usual. " Very likely," the lady remarked, " I had got stuffed
the night before, the Ammans had always plenty to give
vagrant visitors, though they allowed their own people to
starve outright ; it would be much better if they gave food
to those who earned it ; but they were known to be the
most treacherous people anywhere to be found; they
flatter persons to their face, making them believe they are
all silk and velvet, but as soon as their backs are turned,
they speak ill of them. For example," added she, mali
ciously, " only the other day Mrs. Amman said it was a
disgrace to the parish for the schoolmaster to keep an
assistant, the end of whose shirt came out under his coat
tails."
This last allusion stuck to my nose, for I saw it was
meant to throw cold water upon the compliments supposed
to have been paid me. Therefore, to show that I was not
so credulous as they might think, I indiscreetly pulled out
the five batzen piece I had been fumbling in my pocket all
the morning, exclaiming, "Hi ! they would not have given
me that, and a good supper, had they thought so little of
me as you say."
Potz Wetter ! what eyes they made I how green and
yellow they glared over their soup ! They looked as if
both of them had swallowed an alligator apiece.
The ice being thus broken, I made frequent evening calls
upon the parents, which, besides being pleasant, were
sometimes profitable. How the old woman found out
where I had been, I cannot say ; but she did contrive to do
so somehow, for next day she was sure to open up upon
the people I had been with, and mangle them without
mercy, enjoining me, at the same time, to tell them all she
said.
"What a head a woman must have who can store up in
it all the scandalous chronicles of a village, and rattle off
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 05

glibely all the particulars without a halt ! What a still

more singular head a woman must have who can invent
and multiply this scandal to ten times its real magnitude,
converting all the gnats into elephants, and dove-tailing
the whole so well together that even she herself cannot
distinguish the true from the false ! Yet such a head had
the schoolmaster's wife. And what is perhaps the most
extraordinary thing of all is, that girls who do not exhibit
any particular talent at school, should, when they grow up
to womanhood, have such heads.
I availed myself of the good lady's injunction to report
what she said about the people I visited. This I did not
do out of malice, but simply in self-defence. When any
one hinted that she had been saying naughty things about
me, I remarked that she had also been indulging in ill-
natured tirades against them. This often led to a comparison
of notes, and the villagers got me to relate, not only what
had been said about themselves, but also the scandals laid
at the doors of others.
Without being aware of it, I became a regular village-
gossip, and, though not intentionally, was the cause of a
great deal of mischief. The stories I repeated were carried
from one to another greatly exaggerated. These were
ascribed to different persons according to the fancy, or to
suit the purposes of the narrator, giving rise, to feuds in all
directions, and creating a sort of civil war in the village.
Scarcely a day passed that the schoolmaster's wife was not
called to account for some scandal or other she had sent
into circulation. But this was the case also with a great
many other women in the village. The men were quite
bewildered with the complaints made by their wives on this
subject ; nor did I myself escape altogether scatheless out
of the fray.
I had to undergo a series of lectures daily about
slanderers and mischief-makers, sometimes even in the
Bchool-room before the children. Nor was this the worst
of it. The villagers began to dislike me ; husbands would
grumble when their wives began to talk about me,
remarking that they had pretty well enough of that sort of
nonsense, and would prefer a change. At length I was
96 JOTS AND BORROWS

called up before the minister, to whom the schoolmaster

had complained about me. The iniquity of my proceedings
was pointed out to me, and being no orator at any time,
much less when I trembled all over, my defence had no
great effect, and I was solemnly reprimanded.
The winter passed slowly away. The examination caused
me a good deal of work ; but that was got over. With
some difficulty I obtained possession of my ten thalers, and,
after a few vigorous words from the schoolmaster's wife, I
shook the dust from my shoes, and left a place where I had
seen much, but learned little. To digest experience, wisdom
is wanted, and of that I had not yet acquired a very large
store.

CHAPTER XI.
I had got through my engagement, resigned office, and was
thankful. Nevertheless, I felt a little vexed that the
villagers had made no fuss about my going away. They
had not pressed me very much to stay, and not one of them
had offered me quarters till the school recommenced, though
I should have been very well pleased to have acted Sir
Consequential during the summer.
Consoling myself with the reflection that the world is
always ungrateful, and that the peasants of this particular
village were more so than others, I calculated they would
eventually find out what a treasure they had lost ; for it
appeared to me they would never fall in with one who
could do their children so much good, and be so creditable
to themselves. By coldly permitting me to depart, they had,
I opined, done themselves an injury, not me ; and only
wondered what they would do, and what turn things would
take now that I had irrevocably left them to their own
resources.
These thoughts passed through my mind as I slowly left
the village. I had my old bundle on my shoulders, which,
sooth to say, had not grown much bulkier; the shirts were
rather lighter than they were before, but they had been
washed, and I had bought a new pair of boots out of the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 97

gratuities that had been given me. An old peasant whom

I met outside the village, after eyeing me from top to toe,
remarked that I ought to regret leaving the village, for I
must have acquired a good deal of wealth in it. The
observation would have appeared to me very comical had
I not heard it applied before to other people. Whenever
anyone left the village, with a tolerably good coat on his
back, the natives were pretty sure to exclaim, "there goes
some more of our property."
Trotting along, the school, the village, and the ungrateful
peasants, passed out of my mind as I jingled my ten
silver thalers in my breeches' pocket. I had seen such
a sum before, but only at a considerable distance off ; any
thing like so large an amount of capital I had never pos
sessed. It may readily be supposed what the thoughts were
of a person who had such means at his command, and so
small a bundle on his back. An entirely new suit of clothes
was a matter of course; a dozen shirts were indispensable,
and some linen stockings were also requisite ; for I held it
unseemly to be without stockings, especially on Sundays,
and the worsted ones I had worn all the winter were not
likely to be cool in hot weather.
It did not occur to me to square my ten thalers with my
projects, by counting up what each of the articles I pur
posed buying would cost ; and, though a weaver by trade,
and a schoolmaster by profession, I could not have done
so had I tried. The price for an ell of linen I knew
not, many as I had made; nor did I know how many
ells were requisite for any particular garment ; but I knew
perfectly well, that it would be very comfortable to wear
my shirts always right side out, and that was all I cared
about.
Thus I wandered meditatingly and merrily to the house of
my old friend. I had not bothered myself much about the
future, considering that as peculiarly his affair. I found
him sitting at his bench mending a tub. He was very
glad to see me, asked a few questions, and then said that
since I had my clothes with me I intended returning to my
parents. He started when I told him that I had not the
slightest intention of doing anything of the sort, that
98 JOYS AND SORROWS

nothing in the world would induce me to return to the

paternal mansion, that I had come to him to get me
another place, and that in the meantime I meant to stay
with him.
I started in my turn when he replied that all my inten
tions were totally out of the question, for he had firmly
resolved not to worry his mind any more about anybody
but himself. Nothing but vexation and trouble, he said,
comes out of attempts to do good to other people ; he had
got into no end of annoyance on my account ; my parents
had found out that he had had something to do with my
going away, probably from my obliging him to go into the
weaving shed, instead of coming out to him as I ought to
have done. They had been teazing his life out about me ;
my mother had come and abused him most scandalously,
called him a kidnapper, and a variety of other abominable
names. He had endured all that patiently for my sake ;
but he did not want any more of it, and no one could tell
what might not be the consequence to him, if he harboured
me.
I begged him very earnestly not to desert me, for I felt
he was the only friend I had in the world. I told him
that if I went back home, they would beat the life out of
me, take the trifle I had earned from me, and leave me
poorer than ever. My prayers and supplications had con
siderable effect upon the old man ; he consented to run
the risk of giving me shelter for one night at least. I
then gave him an account of what had happened to me at
the village school-house, which appeared very much to
amuse him, particularly the chapter of the schoolmaster's
wife, He told me that if his wife acted in the manner she
did, he would make her drink his medicine herself. Poor
man! he was not aware that he was as completely under
petticoat government as any man in the parish, though in
another way.
As regards myself, it was arranged that I should hire
myself to field labour during the summer, and hope that
by autumn another school might turn up.
I got work, but I did not at all like hedging and
ditching. So the summer passed along very slowly.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 99

Whenever I could escape from the farm, I ran to my

adopted guardian, to know whether he had succeeded in
hunting up anything for me ; but the answer was always
the same: no news for me yet. Beginning to get im
patient I read the advertisements in all the newspapers I
could get a sight of, and made diligent enquiries about
the health of all the ailing schoolmasters round about,
but could hear of none that had any intention of dying
immediately.
One day poring over the announcements in a greasy
newspaper, at a tavern, 1 stumbled upon one that exactly
suited me. Off I ran with it to the old man, and arriving
quite breathless, informed him that I had fallen in with a
school at last. "Where is it?" enquired he, shutting up
a bottle in a cupboard and wiping his mouth. " In my
pocket," replied I exultingly ; for I had no doubt but that
I would get the appointment as soon as I applied for it.
" If the school is in your pocket, I am afraid it is not
much worth," observed the schoolmaster, dryly ; " but, let
me see it."
I handed him the newspaper, and pointed out the
advertisement; whereupon he stuck his spectacles on his
nose, and holding the soiled paper as far away from him
as possible, read the announcement over two or three
times. He then took off his spectacles, wiped them, read
again, and looking somewhat puzzled, exclaimed, " Very
odd, he cannot be dead yet, he seemed a very strong
healthy man." Again he took up the newspaper, looked
at the date, and, turning to me, said, " Peter, my lad, you
are a goose ; " bursting at the same time into a fit of
laughter that almost shook the room. " Why," he roared
out, " the newspaper is two years old."
When he had done laughing, he told me that I was like
other young people, very clever in some things, but in
others a deal more stupid than cows ; and if it were not for
those older than themselves, he did not exactly know what
would become of them. He concluded by advising me to
work, and have patience till I heard from him.
It was not long after I received a message, desiring me
to call next morning. I lay awake the greater part of the
100 JOYS AND SORROWS

night thinking what the news he had for me might be, and
in my anxiety to solve the mystery knocked up the
dreaming old couple out of their sleep soon after sunrise.
I then learned that there was to be a schoolmaster
appointed in a neighbouring village, and that the candidates
were to go up for examination that day. " The school is
certainly not a tip-top one," the old man said, " but very
good for a young fellow who has not got a wife to pester
him. A bachelor does not require much cooking, as he
often gets invited out ; besides, as regards presents, women
generally were a great deal more liberal to an unmarried
than to a married man, though the latter was a vast deal
more in need of generosity. The main point was to get a
school of some kind; a better one could then be more
easily attained, just as with servants, who had generally to
put up with a good deal of hardship in their first situation,
but after undergoing that could pick and choose afterwards.
So also with the government. When a man once gets
the point of his nose thrust into office, it does not require
much pushing to get in the rest of his body." Whilst
talking thus, he finished dressing, and got his wife to tie
on his best neckcloth.
With a long stick which he grasped half a foot below
the upper end, and which he raised high up, and put for
ward as far as he could at every step, the old man marched
on a few paces before me. His air put me in mind of a
vain mother on her way to market or a country wake,
followed by her jauntily dressed daughter, her eyes seeming
to ask the passers-by whether her Meitshi was not the
fairest damsel far or near; her heart beating at the same
time with curiosity to know whose son would cudgel out
for himself the felicity of walking home with her darling.
As we stalked along, the old man said he meant to show
the authorities he was not one of the awkwardest of school
masters, though the young new-fangled ones treated him
with disdain. As for me, I had not entered the doors of
any new-fashioned school, such as had been introduced
since the French came amongst us, and in which nothing
was learned but haughtiness and worldly things. He
would, nevertheless, bet a trifle that I would lick them all.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 101

This I owed all to him alone, and not to an Immoral School,

or whatever else the concerns were called. Still, he con
tinued, if I should chance to be asked anything I could not
answer, I had only to look at him, he would give me a
wink, whisper it into my ear or something ; anyhow, I need
not be afraid so long as he was at my elbow. The minister
was his particular friend, for he had once stood beside the
reverend gentleman when he was buying tobacco at the
apothecary's. The school commissary he also knew well.
He had one day changed horses at the Cross of Langenthal,
when he (the old man), was standing at the inn door, and
had kindly wished him a good evening. True, it was
morning at the time ; but such great men ure not supposed
to know what o'clock it is. Anything he told these gentle
men they would take for granted, quite as much as if they
had seen it in print; they knew their men, and knew whom
they could trust. The examination was only a stupid
formality, the recommendation was the grand thing coupled
with the good opinion of the authorities themselves.
Going along, my mentor also gave me some instruction
in deportment, shewing me how I was to salute the
examiners. Unfortunately, in illustrating how to make a
bow, his strong iron-heeled boot, which he struck out
vigorously, came in contact with my shin bones, and almost
disabled me from proceeding any further.
He also frequently repeated to me the terms by which I
was to address the gentlemen. I recollect now, almost as
well as if it were yesterday, the difficulty I had in pro
nouncing the words Reverend Mr. Schoolcommissary, and
how the old man laughed when I kept on repeating
Reverend Mr. Schoolmilitary. The term Commissary had
till then been perfectly unknown to me, and the peasant
tongue reluctantly articulates foreign terms, probably from
instinct, knowing that things from abroad are not always
wholesome.
Whilst I was thus being initiated into the mysteries of
etiquette, we arrived at the village ; being rather behind,
the gentlemen were no longer at the parsonage. They had
gone off to the school-house and were already engaged
with the candidates, of whom there were seven. I began
102 JOTS AND SORROWS

to feel a little heavy at heart ; not so my companion, whoT

marching boldly into the midst of the party, supported by
his long stick, saluted the examiners with bows and titles,
shaking them all by the hand, as if they had been old
acquaintances ; then, beckoning me forward, introduced me
with a consequential patronising air, as a youth that would
please them, and who was almost as clever as himself.
In accordance with my morning's instructions I made a
bow and a scrape, but fairly broke down at the titles. I
could not for the life of me recollect whether I should say
Rev. Mr. Schoolmilitary or Rev. Mr. Schoolcommissary.
After the names of the seven candidates had been
written down in the usual way, the examination commenced.
The reading I got over beautifully and effectively, giving
the vowels and final syllables a fine full sound as if an o had
been standing before each of them. The examiners seemed
highly pleased with this performance, for a smile rested on
their countenances the whole time. The answers to ques
tions out of the Catechism also went off very fairly ; and
hitherto things wore a promising look ; but, unfortunately,
the old man had told me to manoeuvre so as to get the
topmost seat ; for, said he, the first candidate always gets
the appointment. I had managed accordingly to get the
top seat, but had to pay somewhat dearly for the mistake,
my position making me the first person at whom anything
was asked.
After the catechising, the children's Selections from the
Bible was taken up, and I was asked to explain the fortieth
history of the Old Testament. I began by asking the
question : Who was Adam and Eve ? for my schoolmaster
had told me that it was always wise to begin with these
leading personages, as they afforded greater scope and a
wider range. The school-commissary, however, stopped
me at once, which appeared to me very unbecoming, since
surely at an examination the candidate is justified in
shewing himself off to the best advantage. Interrupting
me he said, I must stick to the subject in hand, for if I
always began with Adam and Eve (I had only done so
once before), they would have to pray for a Joshua to
arrest the progress of the sun. All laughed at this
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER 103

sacrilegious remark; and I, being thoroughly perplexed,

had nothing more to say.
." Now," called out the commissary, " let us hear you
construe. That, after all, is the main point: when anyone
has properly construed a sentence, he is pretty sure to have
some conception of its meaning."
I stared at the speaker with open mouth. I had not the
slightest idea what construing was, the word not having
yet been introduced into my vocabulary. " Go on," con
tinued the commissary impatiently; " look into your book,
and construe the first sentence you come to, there is
nothing printed for you to look at on my nose."
It occurred to me that construing might be a French
word signifying " to spell," and that the gentlemen merely
wished to air their learning a bit; so I began to spell out
lustily the words in the book before me.
" Do you understand your own language f" enquired the
commissary.
" Yes I do, Rev. Mr. Schoolcaptain," replied I.
'' Well then, construe," said he.
" 1 have spelt, sir," said I.
" Do you understand your own language, I ask again?"
exclaimed the commissary angrily.
"Yes, Rev. Mr. Schoolmilitary," replied I; " but I do
not understand French."
This brought out a peal of laughter from all and sundry,
in which even the other candidates joined. I then felt that
1 had put my foot in it somehow, and that all chances of
success had departed.
We were next set to try our skill in composition ; and
here again I was at fault. Nobody had ever told me that
writing was used for any other purpose than making small
letters and capitals ; it had never occurred to me to write
down words from memory, and no one had ever hinted to
me that such a thing would be requisite. I looked, there
fore, at my neighbours, and they looked at me ; but all our
slates remained empty. One only, pretending to be more
skilful than the rest of us, put something down. Luckily,
the gentlemen went off to dinner, leaving us to accomplish
our task at leisure; thinking, perhaps, that our empty
104 JOYS AND SORROWS

stomachs, acting in inverse ratio to our heads, would

prove expert prompters. The simpletons! Surely a school
master is not a hunting-dog, that scents best when it is
hungry. No, his head, up to a certain point, will always
be found on a par with his stomach.
After the gentlemen left, the spectators gave us what
assistance they could, which did not amount to much ; but
they joined us in grumbling at being put to such tests,
and at schoolmasters being required to know such things.
It was quite unexampled in the recollections of the oldest
person present. Each candidate had written a few lines,
and the gentlemen, on returning, glanced over them ; but
we could see that our work did not excite much admir
ation.
Arithmetic was limited to finding the cubic contents of
a haystack; and then we were tested in singing. Each of us
had to intone the ut, re, mi; and, loudly as we bawled,
the commissary, with his hand behind his right ear,
stepped close up to us, and, holding his ear close to the
singer's mouth, received many a vigorous roar into it.
Why he put himself to this inconvenience, it is hard to
say. He seemed to have no ear for music, yet he affected
a critical air, and made eyes as if he had got the spleen.
After the singing had gone round, he asked me, with a
pompous mien, whether I could tell him the difference
between figural and choral music. To this, of course,
being more French, I could not reply in the affirmative.
But, by this time, I had got a little more cunning, and,
taking advantage of a stratagem often resorted to in school,
answered that I knew the difference, but could not express
it in words. This answered the purpose extremely : for
the commissary afterwards put his questions so as to elicit
either yes or no. This way I got on amazingly well, though
I understood nothing whatever of the subject.
For all that I did not obtain the appointment. The
school was given to one of the other candidates. I had,
however, acquired gratis, free, for nothing, a very valuable
caution, which was, not to go up for examination again till
I knew the difference between construing and spelling.
Contrite and crushed, I was seated at a table covered
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 105

with refreshments, supplied to us by the parish, as an

indemnification for the inflictions we had undergone. The
old man sat beside me, savagely protesting that he had
never, in the whole course of his experience, witnessed
such a farce as the recent examination. Everything done,
said he, was shamefully in accordance with the new fangle.
He would like to know whether that construing, for in
stance, was not a complete absurdity ; what earthly purpose
could it serve. It could not obtain for us a remission of
our sins ; neither could we make a meal of it. What
then, he asked, triumphantly, was it good for ? He Vuid
really believed, he continued, the examiners were possessed
of more sense ; but what could be expected from people
dubbed with foreign titles ? Formerly nothing was known
about commissaries, consequently nothing was said about
construing. The French happened to overrun the country,
and when they left, commissaries and construing remained,
more is the pity, behind them. The commissaries wore
long tails to their coats, and dragging a long sabre at their
heels, went about here, there, and everywhere, bothering
people. He could not make out why the Government, now
that the French were gone, whose commissaries robbed us
so much, could countenance other commissaries plaguing
people. But he did not believe the Government had any
thing to do with it ; and if the authorities were to know
what was being introduced into schools, in their name, it
would very soon be put a stop to; for, it was to be hoped,
there were still some sensible men at Berne, who would
not approve of such innovations as construing.
Feeling thoroughly dejected, I made no reply to any of
these remarks. The grand notions I had formed of my
own talents bad been rudely dispelled. Hitherto I had
looked upon myself as a genius, prevented by envy and
jealousy from expanding into greatness. I was not, how
ever alone in that respect, though in some, self-deception
assumes other directions : the world is little else than a
lazaretto full of sick people. The most numerous are the
eye-sick ; for, out of a hundred, there is scarcely one who
sees things and affairs from the right side ; and, if there be
106 JOYS AND SORROWS

one malady more prevalent amongst mankind than another,

that malady is mental blindness.
I now knew that I had a great many things to learn
before I could pass an examination as a schoolmaster,
and remarked to the old man, when on our way home, that
it would perhaps be better for me to abandon the profession
altogether. He would not hear of this, declaring he would
make me a schoolmaster, and a first-rate one too, in spite of
all the construing in Christendom; adding that, as for the
commissaries, he would snap his fingers at the whole lot of
the*i even if the tops of their perriwigs were as high as
the great steeple of Berne, and the sabres at their sides as
long as Goliath's.
Not only did he make this promise, but, what is more,
he kept it. A fortnight had scarcely elapsed before I
observed him strutting along towards the farm with his
long staff and his consequential face, his snuff-begrimed nose
stuck in the middle of it, and over that his honest eyes,
peeping like two stars through a thunder-cloud. He
brought me the gratifying intelligence that he had obtained
a place for me as a schoolmaster, but without a school.
The situation, he told me, was in the parish of Hinterhag,
the parishioners of which had been, for many years, quarrel
ling about the school, often going to law, but oftener re
maining stubbornly quiet. There was but one school-
house in the parish, and that would not contain half the
children, some of whom had to walk a distance of half-a-
league to get to it. That a new school-house was wanted,
no one denied, and all were willing enough to contribute
towards the cost ; but each insisted the building should
be situated in front of his own door, and when a particular
spot was decided upon by the authorities, all those who
lived ten paces away did everything in their power to
prevent or retard further proceedings. Again, each section
of the parish required a distinct school-house, and, as all
these buildings could not be erected at once, each
locality wanted to have its own one done first ; so that
they could not agree about where to begin; and even
when an understanding was come to on this point, "
the other obstacle started up afresh. The Government
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 107

negotiated with the parish, but, like an old grandmother,

coaxed and commanded by turns, allowing itself, in either
case, to be disregarded, so that the parishioners wrangled
away as they liked. Clearly enough, there was no earnest
anxiety on their parts to have the schools built, though
all professed that the existing state of affairs was shameful.
In this belligerent parish there lived a wealthy farmer,
whose house was a considerable distance away from any
school, arid who, in consequence, was accustomed to engage
some one every winter, for six or eight weeks, to teach his
own children. For many years he had employed a retired
schoolmaster, who had recently gone the way of all flesh.
This farmer chanced to meet my old friend, and asked him
to find a person who could supply the place of the defunct,
and, as a matter of course, I was decided upon as the
person most eligible for the vacant post. The wages were
to be two batzens a-day; but my services as tutor were
not required till Christmas, when the threshing would be
over. There was, however, always plenty of work about
the farm, and, if I chose, I was at liberty to commence the
engagement at once, in which case the same wages would
be paid me all through the year.
There was nothing particularly inviting about this offer;
it was doubtless a little better than the hedging and ditch
ing, but not much. I should much rather have preferred
a school, but then I knew the confounded construing stood
in the way of that. My old friend, moreover, declared
solemnly that he would have nothing more to do with me,
now that he had got me into something; my parents were
watching him like tigers, and he was in danger of personal
chastisement on my account. They still continued to hope
that I would return, like the prodigal son in the parable:
very willingly they would take me back, but with cursing
and cudgelling, instead of dancing and singing. They
fancied that no one voluntarily would keep me, and that
ultimately I must return and submit to any hardships they
chose to impose. Unfortunately, they had found out that
the schoolmaster had gone with me to the examination,
and, judging that it was he who prevented me throwing
myself at their feet, my father had been at his house the
108 JOYS AND SORROWS
day before, and abused him most scandalously ; in addition
to which, he would doubtless have given him a sound
thrashing, had a stranger not been present at the time.
" Now," added he, " I dislike fighting under any circum
stances, and especially so with an enraged weaver about
affairs that do not in any way concern me."
Not long after this conversation, I was again pacing
along the high-road, with my bundle en my shoulders, cir
cumstances inducing me to enter my new place long before
the teaching was to commence.
The farmer received me very kindly, and told me that he
did not wish his children to be overtaught or converted into
prodigies ; they were not destined to be lawyer's clerks or
tavern-keepers, there would always be plenty of work for
them to do about the farm till they got some elsewhere.
If they learnt to say their prayers, to read fluently, and
recite the Catechism, the Psalms, and the Bible histories,
he would be perfectly satisfied. It was of no use to plague
them with writing or arithmetic; these things, if learnt,
would be soon forgotten ; besides, people who had a little
money could always find some one to do their writing and
reckoning for them.
Such were the tenor of my instructions ; and in order
that I might acquire the habit of early rising, so as to be
all the better fitted for the duties of my office, I was as
signed quarters beside the milkman, whose work required
him to be afoot before anyone in the house. Meanwhile, I
had to turn my hand to any odd jobs about the farm that
chanced to come in the way. The servants looked upon
me as a decent sort of a lad, willing and handy, but neither
smart nor clever ; on the contrary, I knew very well they
thought me stupid, and was even told that I was dull, awk
ward, and lubberly. My bashfulness and timidity sub
jected me to no end of teasing on the part of the females,
who were constantly making merry at my expense.
Though diffident, I was rosy-cheeked, and not ill-look
ing. These peculiarities made the young women all the
more inclined to play tricks upon me. Sometimes they
Bent me into the parlour with some preposterous thing
fastened to my coat-tails, so that the farmer and his wife
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 109

had often to hold their sides to prevent themselves bursting

with laughter. It was a rule in the farm that the maid
servants should do some of the threshing when the men
were at other work. This was a fine opportunity for them
to amuse themselves with me. After dinner, also, there
was generally a good deal of practical joking carried on,
such as is witnessed in the fields at harvest and haymaking
time. Many things occurred then of which the less that
is said the better.
Amongst other duties, I had to attend to the cattle and
the poultry. In the stable I found a very useful precaution
to prevent conflagration observed. Hay is very liable to
spontaneous combustion ; and to counteract that dangerous
tendency, our people put a layer of dry straw alternately
with the layers of hay, which, I was informed, gave the
former at the same time a taste very grateful to the horses.
A practice was also adopted to make the hens lay large
eggs in winter as well as summer, and which, I believe, is
very prevalent amongst the peasants of Nassau, the eggs
so obtained being often five ounces in weight, and have
sometimes double yolks. The method in use is this :The
mushrooms collected in the forest (not poisonous ones) are
reduced to powder, linseed husks are crumbled in water,
rye or wheat flour is mixed with them, and the mushroom
powder is added in proportion of one and a half times the
quantity of the husks, next the same quantity of bruised
acorns is added all kneaded into a dough. Some of the
mixture is given daily to the hens, in pieces the size of a
large pea, the expense being amply repaid by the size and
beauty of the eggs.
The threshing finished, the teaching commenced, and
was carried on with so much energy that I very soon got
sick and tired of it. As soon as the milkman got up, I had
to rise and teach a poor boy who ate the bread of
dependence at the farm, but who could not be spared
during the day. Getting up at five in the morning, the
time passed very slowly away till the upper maid chose to
get up and set the kitchen fire in a blaze. These cold
mornings being anything but pleasant, materially contri
buted towards disgusting me with the work. In the
110 JOTS AND SORROWS

evening-, after the labours of the day, the farmer would

sometimes ask me to hear the boys go over what they had
learned, which was neither a pastime for them nor me.
All this gave me great distaste for the teaching, though, in
other respects, I fared very well.

CHAPTER XII.
The drudgery of the farm made me bethink myself of
finding some employment more congenial to my taste.
The schoolmaster at Hinterlag being everywhere spoken of
as. a prodigiously clever man, I called upon him one Sun
day, and told him how I was situated, and that I was
desirous of becoming a member of his own profession, only
I knew nothing of the new branches of education, nor did
I know any one who could teach me. He said that I had
called in time, for two others had just asked him whether
he would teach them the art of school-keeping.
" I have both the time and the inclination to do this,"
continued he, " and could do so much better than the
regular keepers of training schools," for they were mostly
clergymen, who knew very little about the requirements of
a schoolmaster. He had no friend at Berne, and conse
quently might have some difficulty in obtaining permission
to carry out the project, from the Board of Education. He
should, however, begin with three or four, and without
stating that he had a school, merely say his intention was
to prepare a few pupils for the Normal Schools. The
project was for himself more a matter of personal gratifica
tion than of profit; his pupils would not be able to pay
much more than their board ; but, at the same time, they
would, in all probability, do him some credit when they
went up for examination, and then he could all the more
easily obtain permission to establish a regular training
school, which might be an advantage to him.
These remarks appeared to me very satisfactory. I now
saw a hope of being able to overcome the obstacles that
stood in the way of my becoming a schoolmaster. Never
theless, to make sure, I asked him whether he could teach
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. Ill

figural music and construing? " Set your mind perfectly

at rest, Kaiser," replied he, " there is not a man in the
Canton that I am afraid of, were he even a university
professor."
After this I felt myself extricated from all my difficulties,
and was only anxious to begin my apprenticeship and get
initiated in the mysteries of the profession. Once a week
I ran down to the village to ascertain whether he had got a
reply from the Board, and when we were to begin our
studies.
One day I observed him in a great rage, slamming the
doors about so that the noise could be heard a long way
off. It was perfectly clear that something had occurred
to exasperate him; and thinking it best not to trouble him
at such a moment, was moving away ; but he called me
back, and told me he had just received an answer to his
application, and a very curious sort of an answer it was, he
said; his handsome offer had been most shamefully re
jected, and he would henceforward hold the Government
in utter detestation. A friend of his who had made the
application was told that the people in the country seemed
to have no end of queer fancies and pretensions ; normal
schools had been set afoot at the cost of a thousand or one
thousand five hundred thalers annually; and yet not satisfied
with these, a hundred other things were proposed ; some
wanted to convert the schools into universities, others
wanted colleges, though the schools continued three, and
sometimes five months in the year, and were perfectly
efficient for the training of schoolmasters. Such institu
tions were wanted, and there they were, but persons such
as himself were recommended to renounce quackery and
false pretensions.
Here I was once more aground, and at a loss what to
do, asked the schoolmaster whether he could advise me.
He replied that he could render me no assistance himself,
would have nothing more to do with the affair, and, for
aught he cared, I might apply to a normal school teacher,
and see what he could do for me. This the disappointed
man said in wrath, but I took it in real earnest ; moreover
I felt, something must be done if I wished to become a
112 JOTS AND SORROWS

schoolmaster now since my old friend had completely cast

me off.
It is rather a serious affair for those who have had
others to think for them, run about for them, and act for
them, to have to think, run about and act for themselves.
Listlessness and hesitation convert the limbs into lead,
and many persons do not move along with the current
because in their perplexity they cannot shape their course
unless it is done for them. Yet, in modern times, on
promptitude of action success in a great measure depends.
We say of a man that raises himself rapidly from post to
post, and holds his head high above others, that his career
has been splendid ; that is simply, in other words, he has
kept his legs at a gallop, for such is the real signification
of the term.
The present generation is much better off than its pre
decessor. By means of steam and machinery a great deal
more work is done in much less time, as well as easier and
quicker. The work of legs and tongues has also been
simplified: aunts, sisters, cousins, and other gossips, are
not so necessary as they were. If one has got such
auxiliaries he allows them to run about and talk ; but he
can do -without them: a grand gossip-in-chief has been
invented, which has marvellously long legs and a very
capacious mouth ; and he who can get this gossip to take
him up gets through his career careeringly. The gossip-
in-chief is the press, her daughters are the newspapers, and
what are all the old and young gossips of bygone times in
comparison to them ?
This gossip and her daughters can say what none else
dare utter; they praise when all beside blame ; they revile
and scoff whilst the most powerful in the land stands
aghast. One who by impudence or flattery has bribed
this gossip may calculate on making rapid progress, be he
the meanest of creatures. But I had better say nothing
more on this subject : it is not prudent to offend so power
ful a personage ; for not only can she elevate, she can also
bring down. Many a worthy man has she dragged about
in the dirt, till he has become an outcast, people pointing to
him with a finger of scorn, saying, '* Just look at that
good for nothing rogue there I"
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 113

I knew not who to apply to for information regarding

the Normal Schools. I was hard at work, for some time,
grubbing up the oat-fields, and had blisters on my hands
the size of hazel-nuts. At length the weekly newspaper
at the tavern helped me over the stile. In it the time of
entrance to one of these schools was publicly announced.
I did not lose the opportunity. On the day mentioned in
the advertisement, I presented myself to the master, an
elderly man, who received me with a somewhat haughty
mien. He named certain books that I would require, and
told me that I would have to find board and lodging about
the town, which, he said, I might possibly obtain for
eighteen or twenty batzens a week.
On my return home from this interview, my heart grew
heavy as I compared my funds with the prospective ex
penses. The latter I guessed at twelve or fifteen thalers,
which was rather more than my whole year's earnings
and then my shirtsthey were thinner now than ever, and
looked woeful. I could scarcely venture to have them
washed any more. My clothes, also, were very bad. I
had to exercise great caution every morning in putting on
my trousers, to prevent my feet going right through the
knees, instead of the proper place. I had no means left to
buy anything, if I laid out the money in learning constru
ing. To attend the classes so poorly clad, also, would not
be pleasant ; but, there being no help for it, the thing
must be done.
The farmer was sorry to hear I was going to leave. L
believe he had begun to take a liking for me, though I was
still a good deal laughed at. He invited me to come back,,
if I chose, but told me he would not suffer his children to
be taught any of the new-fangled stuff I was about to learn.
He thought I knew all that was necessary already ; and,
consequently, it was a pity to squander the little money I
had in learning more. What, however, was much more to
the purpose, he gave me a very welcome gratuity, in
addition to the wages paid me; and I was delighted in a
still greater degree when his wife brought me a shirt that
seemed strong enough to last for ever. She had starched
it all over, so that it stood on end, and the collar was so
114 JOTS AND SORROWS

high and stiff that it cut my ears pretty severely the first
time I put the garment on. Nevertheless, I was very
proud of this addition to my scanty wardrobe.
There were, in all about twenty in the class, some of
them schoolmasters who had appointments, and others
who wanted to get them. In the evenings, a few went
home ; the others boarded, like myself, here and there in
the town, I had made the acquaintance of one of my class-
fellows, to whom I disclosed the state of my finances, and
my prospects generally. He advised me to offer to do
some weaving for my landlord, as part payment out of
school-hours ; the latter having no objections to this
arrangement, I was at length released from all embarrass
ments of a pecuniary nature.
Our subjects of study were reading, writing, grammar,
combined with construing, composition, arithmetic, and
singing ; of elocution, nothing was said, our attention in
reading being merely called to the stops, at which we had
to drop the voice, more or less. To read fluently was a
matter of difficulty for most of us, but, by the time of
our examination, we had mastered that; grammar was
taught us by dictation, and those who could not follow,
copied from the cahiers of the othersat least those who
could read written matter. I do not recollect what these
exercises consisted of, for I never after consulted my note
books, and cannot refer to them now, as they got lost.
The parts of speech were alluded to ; the words, if I
mistake not, being divided into twenty-four classes. The
cases of the nouns and the tenses of the verbs were touched
upon ; but what further I cannot now call to mind, only I
do not think anything else was embraced in our grammatical
course.
Construing, however, was the grand point with me. In
this we operated upon the text of the Bible stories. The
teacher first called our attention to the fact that between
one full stop and another there must be at least one verb,
which indicated the time and manner of the incident, state,
or act referred to. A sentence was then read out, and we
were required to find the verb ; or, if more than one, that
which governed the others. We often guessed through the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 115

whole lot of words before we pitched upon the right one,

and when this was ascertained, we had to answer who ?
whose ? whom ? to whom ? by whom ? when ? what ?
which? and so on. After all the words had been questioned
off in this way, the sentence was done with.
Generally, attention was called to the nouns, which we
learned to know by the capital letters ; but of the other
words little notice was taken, the great mystery, construing,
turning out to be nothing more than parsing, with special
reference to the nouns and verbs. No proper definition
of the parts of speech was given us ; indeed, I am not
sure that our teacher had any very definite notions on
the subject himself. At one of the preparatory examin
ations, the school commissary asked us what the word
Palestine was ; instead of saying it was a proper noun,
one of us, prompted by the teacher, said "the capital
of Judeo,'' whereupon the examiner looked as if he
thought we were too clever by half.
At writing from dictation we were all alike slow. First
we had some difficulty in catching the words as pronounced.
Next there was the doubt about the letters, and then how
the words were spelled, so that we had no time to think of
their meaning. The stops were read to us, so we had no
great difficulty with them. When we had all finished, the
teacher gave the book to one of us to spell out aloud each
word, so that the faults made might be corrected. None
of us, however, were able to keep up with the speller,
and usually a good half of the mistakes remained standing.
We exchanged slates with each other, in the pleasing
belief that we could detect the faults of our neighbours
better than our own, but this contrivance was of very
little real benefit. Usually the speller pronounced half-
a-dozen letters whilst we, in our awkwardness, were oc
cupied in correcting one ; and I thought, at the time, that
to write and to listen at once was a kind of wizard's
work which no honest Christian could reasonably be
expected to do.
We got over our arithmetic, on the other hand, with
wonderful expedition. All manner of sums were wrought
out in an amazingly short time : the four fundamental rules,
11G JOYS AND SORROWS

both with and without fractions, were despatched in a

twinkling; cubic measurement was confined to the dimen
sions of hay-stacks ; the rule of three, fellowship, and inte
rest were summarily disposed of; we even closely approached
the square-root and chain-rule. The way we managed to
get on so rapidly was this:the teacher cried out "At
tend ! " wrote an example of a rule on the black board, told
us to copy it into our exercise-books, so as not to forget it.
One or two of the pupils then wrote on the board one or
two other examples of the same rule, those having a good
memory copying stroke for stroke what they had seen
done before, and the thing was done.
Much time was taken up with catechisingthe agony of
prospective schoolmasters, and the delight of the established
ones. This consisted solelyas I have had occasion to
remark two or three times already in speaking of examina
tionsin answering from memory the questions in the
Catechism, which, being regarded as a synopsis of the doc
trines of Christianity, was deemed sufficient to enable us
to pass our examination in Theology. Nothing was ex
plained to us, nor were we told anything about the diffe
rences between the Roman Catholic and Reformed churches,
of which it might have been useful to us, as teachers, to
have known something. We repeated the answers in the
Catechism much in the same way the bullfinches pipe words
and sounds they do not understand. It may be asked
whether I am prepared to point out any better means of
placing the Christian tenets before children ? To this
question I must candidly reply that I am not ; but I think
a more effective means might be found.
There are people who advocate the entire suppression cf
the Catechism in schools. But if this be done without
supplying its place with something better adapted for the
purpose, what then becomes of the doctrines of Christi
anity ? would not the schools be rendered utterly godless ?
True, there are some who argue that even this would be an
advantage, because, say they, the country was happy and
religious when ignorance was maintained artificially, and
now that greater attention has been paid to intellectual
cultivation it has become unhappy and irreligious. No
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 117

doubt a little knowledge is a dangerous thing ; a smatter

ing of science tends to cramp narrow minds and generate
materialism. But knowledge in itself has no such effect ;
it is only when directed in particular channels, or when
limited in degree, it has these results. Those, therefore,
who argue that men, on religious grounds, should be kept
in ignorance, are themselves either ignorant or crafty.
They confound cheerless negation and want of faith, with
progress and the expansion of the human faculties, or they
would bind the soul with the bonds of superstition, dark
ness, and prejudice, the more easily to obtain possession of
the body. Do such men believe in Christ Jesus, who was
a light to the whole world, and who was made man to en
lighten men's understanding ?
When we had been catechised almost to our wit's end,
we proceeded to singing, and from singing psalms to
" figural," that is to say, to singing from written music.
We were taught the meaning of the marks denoting flats
and sharps, and were told how to divide the notes into
halves, quarters, and eighths, how to keep time, and how
to distinguish the bars. Then we sang till the windows
clattered and the crickets in the oven began to dance.
Thus we usually closed our day's lessons.
It will be observed by the discerning reader that we
really learned very little, and, if the manner we were taught
this little be taken into account, it is surprising that we
learned anything at all. That we should obtain some
acquaintance with the subjects taught seemed the sole con
sideration ; whether it could be made any use of, or whether
we could apply it in teaching children, did not seem to be
thought of. We were not told how to develop the intel
lectual powers of the young mind, nor were we told how to
digest the matter taught us, so as to place it before young
people in an intelligible form.
So far, then, as regards my own experience of the Nor
mal School, I was taught very little, and was not told how
to impart this little to others. There were a hundred things
told us that we did not understand, either because the
teacher could not explain them in a manner adapted to our
faculties, or because he thought we knew them already.
118 JOTS AND SORROWS

We were consequently not told to avoid presupposing any

thing in children, and to make everything placed before
them perfectly clear. Yet this taking for granted is fatal
to well-regulated instruction, checking all development in
young heads and hearts, and engendering the habit of pro
nouncing words without thinking of their import. Presup
posing is a cancer in our schools. It certainly is a difficult
thing for us to go out of our knowledge and our wisdom,
and make ourselves at home in such a small space as a
child's head. Still more difficult is it to look about there
for what it contains and what is wanting. Yet all this must
be done by one who desires to teach a child and find an
entrance into its heart as well as its head. He must find
out what is deficient in both, then steadily and cautiously
fill them up, as the bee in its bive, which with wonderful
instinct first makes the combs, then builds up the cells,
and finally fills them with luscious honey.
To acquire knowledge was the object of myself and fel
low-learners at the Normal School. All deeply felt that
the knowledge they possessed consisted of fragments, and
deeply as they prized these snatches of learning, they knew
them to be insufficient for their calling. All were hungry
and thirsty, absolutely languishing after wisdom ; but the
means adopted at the school were incapable of supplying
the want. We knew what we knew, but what it was, or
how much it was, we had not the slightest idea ; neither
could we form a conception of what we required to know,
save and except some names such as construing. Real
knowledge was hid from our view by an impenetrable
curtain, such as hides the future from the human mind.
All of us had to struggle with a thousand difficulties in
order to attend the training school. Some had to deprive
their families of their summer earnings that could ill
be spared,had to wear their Sunday clothes, which ought
to last a schoolmaster many a year;and had to look
forward to a winter of privation. Always when they
returned home, they had to witness the sour countenance
of the house-wife, and to hear sad complaints of the
children and neighbours. They anticipated beholding that
sour face all the winter through, rendered more acrid, owing
 07 A SCHOOLMASTER. 119

to there being no butter in the kitchen, and no salt on the

table. Yet, they attended the school most sedulously.
Others were in a similar position with fathers and mothers,
who reluctantly furnished the money, to enable their sons
to acquire the new fangled things they did not approve of.
They had, in addition, to bear the cross faces of their
brothers and sisters, when they carried off money for their
weekly board, that must debar the rest of the family from
many comforts. Others expended the toilsome savings of
years. All the kreutzers they had saved up since their
birth ; denying themselves, meanwhile, all luxuries, and
many necessaries, and who, like myself, had to eke out the
price of their board, by labouring before and after school
hours; though often the wearied eyes proclaimed the need
of rest.
Luckily for us, we did not know that we were learning
next to nothing. On the contrary, we fancied ourselves on
the straight road to eminence ; and were busily laying
up a store of school lessons and funeral sermons for future
use. There was a man, who came every now and then to
visit us, and who professed extreme erudition. In oratory,
he said, no man, be he layman or clergyman, could cope
with him. He assured us, that many things printed were
inferior to his productions ; adding, he did not compose
anything for himself, only for good friends who requested
him to do so. We looked upon this man with profound
respect, since he had progressed so far as nearly to have
his productions appear in print. Therefore, we entreated
him to favour us with some of his writings to copy. He
very willingly brought us a few ; giving the history of each,
its conception, birth, and purpose. Once he lost a small
sack full of them ; how, pr where, we could never make
out. Each of us would have been delighted to have found
them. But none of us, I believe, would, in such a case,
have restored the documents to their proper owner.
Although, from the beginning, we had laboured very
hard, it was nothing to our zeal when the examination
drew nigh, and our course of instruction was coming to a
close. Then, we scarcely knew whether we were walking
on our heads or our heels. Let no one suppose, however,
120 JOYS AND SORROWS

that this increased diligence was merely the examination

fever. There were other causes of tribulation, the chief of
which was, we had to appear before the Ecclesiastical
Court at Berne. Our hearts throbbed through fear of being
rejected, on account of some bit of knowledge forgotten, or
something that we had not been taught. The fields of know
ledge we knew still lay hid behind a thick veil. The
teacher had handed us crumb after crumb ; but, how much
there remained we knew not. We rejoiced over every
morsel vouchsafed to us, because it was new, and because
it was a morsel ; and how proud we were if we succeeded
in gorging it, though this was not always the case. Never
theless, we flattered ourselves, that we had been given, and
had digested everything useful that lay hid behind the
curtain. This hope inspired us with the energy and per
severance by which most of us were animated. There were
a few amongst us, who, possessing sluggish souls and inert
bodies, slumbered when they ought to have listened, and
gaped when they ought to have been writing. Of these
we were actually ashamed; fearing, that if the magnates
at Berne began the examination with one of them, an evil
impression might be formed of us all ; for, if once a gnat
settles behind the ears of such personages, it is difficult to
put it to flight ; at least, without a great deal of fanning
and flutter.
If a man of sense and feeling had watched our pro
ceedings at that period, he, probably, would have burst out
laughing ; but, at the same time, his heart must have bled
with sorrow. Yet this was the way in which schoolmasters
were trained. There may have been normal schools, that
carried en their operations more intelligibly, although I
never observed much difference between the pupils from
different establishments of the kind, at the examinations I
had occasion to attend. It was thought, a schoolmaster
might learn all he required in a few months, though it takes
as many years to turn out a good tailor. From this, the
light in which a schoolmaster and his acquirements were
regarded by high and low, may he readily judged.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 121

CHAPTER XIII.

I got through the examination all right enough. Those

only were rejected who could not read properly. I received
a complimentary letter and a schoolmaster's diploma.
Proud and happy was I, on finding this document securely
lodged in my pocket. I never tired looking at it, and
could not rest in peace till I had shown it to my old friend
and first patron.
The old man was glad to see me, and congratulated me
warmly on my cleverness and my diploma. Formerly he
said a man had no need of such a paper to become a school
master; the only question asked was, did he conduct him
self as a good Christian ? Of the rest the heritors could
judge better than the Ecclesiastical Councillors who sat in
their own rooms, drawing flies into their webs, but letting
very little out. Such gentlemen knew very well the length
of a Laplander's ears, but nothing at all about the peasantry
of their own country. They are therefore generally con
sidered to be nothing more than blockheads in uniform,
especially when they wear spectacles, and in consequence
carry their noses high ; then they overlook the peasantry ;
but the peasantry can always see through and through
them.
When my old friend had concluded his observations on the
councillors, I began to display somewhat ostentatiously my
learning, dwelling especially on the cases of the nouns, and
the who ? whose ? whom ? to whom ? when ? what ? where ?
which ? At this, he grew bitterly angry. Such rubbish, he
said, was of no use whatever, beyond making people neglect
religion, and rendering them haughty. If the gentlemen
of the Ecclesiastical Court were men of sense, they would
forbid such things; but since the French overran the
country, there had been nothing popular amongst them,
except irreligion and construing.
I saw it was time to put my learning aside, and, chang
ing the subject, I spoke to him about writing, arithmetic,
and catechising. When he learnt that I understood frac
122 JOTS AND SORROWS

tions and could measure haystacks in two different ways,

he treated my acquirements with greater respect, and
declared that, if I threw construing and other nonsensical
things to the wind, I might yet become a first-rate school
master.
It may be readily supposed, that I now searched for
advertised scholastic vacancies with great eagerness ; but I
met with none, except one in the Oberland, for which,
without a dwelling, eight thalers a year, was all the salary
offered. Meantime, having some of my board to work off,
I returned to the loom at my landlord's.
One or two vacancies did shortly afterwards present
themselves, and I went up for examination, but was always
unlucky; yet I felt convinced none of the candidates were
better qualified than myself. They might have excelled
me in some things, but I unquestionably excelled them in
others. They generally placed me second in the order of
merit. That was a small drop of comfort. What annoyed
me most was, that I had a diploma, whereas my successful
competitors could show no such proof of capacity.
- After one of these examinations, I drank a glass or so
too much of the wine provided by the parish ; and as it
happened to be rather stronger or more drugged than
usual, I felt somewhat elated. On my way home I met
the school commissary, a round, paunchy man. In my
sulphurated courage, I complained to him of being ill-
treated, and asked him somewhat upbraidingly, what the
use of the diploma of the Lord High Councillors was, if it
carried no weight at an examination ?
The school commissary who was a good natured sort of
a manand it is curious, that corpulent men are generally
better tempered than lanky onesreplied, he would tell
me the cause of my unsuccess, if I would not take it amiss.
I agreed, and he told me that I was certainly superior to the
other candidates, so far as acquirements went, but on the
Other hand, the peasants, whose wishes had also to be con
sulted, refused to have me. The day before, on passing
through the village, I had saluted none of them, and when
they had greeted me with a " May God grant you a good
morning," I had replied with " many thanks," instead of
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 123

" May God give you many thanks." I did not call on any
of them, and seemed to them by far too stuck up ; they
said, I wore a black cap, which might be becoming enough
for a minister, but they did not want a schoolmaster who
appeared to be grander than themselves.
"Goodness!" exclaimed I ; "they must be an obtuse
set of people, if they could not see that I passed with
reluctance through the village, and could scarcely muster
courage to look straightforward from pure diffidence. I
would willingly enough have talked to somebody, but
nobody showed any inclination to talk to me. The cap I
bought at Berne, because I liked it, and because it was
only half the price of the ordinary linen ones ; besides I
thought it becoming in a schoolmaster to look a little
less worldly than his neighbours."
''Very true, my friend," observed the commissary, "but
wiser men than these peasants cannot always distinguish be
tween diffidence and haughtiness. A peasant will not go out
of his way to address one who does not appear to desire his
conversation, and least of all a stranger. For that very
reason, he is all the more susceptible of condescension on the
part of his superiors, Affability is a very soft word, and a
much more estimable virtue than people generally suppose,
and to set a good example in its practice is part of the
schoolmaster's duty. The cap does not constitute the clergy
man, and a sober cowl may cover an intemperate head : an
old prejudice requires a minister to wear a particular head
dress, though it might be better if such were not the case.
The peasants, however, prefer the schoolmaster to be
dressed like themselves, feeling convinced that such gar
ments may cover a very worthy person."
I was going to reply to all this, when the commissary
gave me his hand, and stopped me. " May God have you
in his keeping, Kaiser," said he; "I must strike off to the
left here ; you do not yet understand my meaning ; but
reflect on my words ; you will find eventually that
all I have said is perfectly true ; if, however, you prefer to
learn prudence through dearly bought experience, you will
perhaps find that it will lead you to jail rather than to
fortune. Good bye."
124 JOTS AND SORROWS

Saying this, he walked off to the left, and I continued my

onward course, rather irritated than otherwise at the admo
nitory hints thrown out indirectly by the commissary. " It
is all very well for him to say the peasants made these
remarks;" thought I, "he has invented them all himself;
he talks about pride and arrogance, when he himself is
vexed because I wear a cap the same colour and form as his
own ; it is very little the peasants care about who wears
black coats and black caps ; but the clergy do not like any
thing to come between the wind and their dignity. I
wonder how he would preach from the text that one sees
the mote in his neighbour's eye, but not the beam in his
own. It did not concern him, nor any one else what sort
of a cap I wore, I had paid for it out of my own money,
and would wear it in spite of the whole fraternity of school-
commissaries.
Such were my reflections and resolutions at the time ;
but if I were now to meet the good-natured stout gentle
man anywhere, I should right heartily thank him for his
advice. I have been taught by long experience that he
was right, and knew the peasantry a good deal better than
I did, though I was one of them myself. It is difficult,
however, for a wanderer to know his way in a forest : he
must look over the tops of the trees to discover his
position.
It happened, somehow or other, that when I was going
up to the next examination, I did not put on the black cap ;
neither did I put on a black coat, wearing, instead, my old
yellow one. I had scarcely gone fifty yards on my way,
before I met a ragged old woman with a tobacco-pipe in
her mouth. She was from my own parish, and I knew her
well. Greeting me kindly, she was about to grasp me by
the hand. My face became as red as a furnace, being pro
voked that such a depraved looking old hag should be the
first person I met in my way to seek for good luck ; and,
not only that, but she seemed to expect me to shake hands
with her. I growled out some words, and flying past her
like a dart, gave up all hope of being successful at the
approaching contest, for what else, thought I, could come
out of such an encounter. The old woman stood still for a
 OF A SCHOOLMASTKR. 125

few minutes somewhat puzzled at my behaviour, and then

sent a volley of invectives after me that I should not like to
repeat.
I ran as fast as I could, thinking it was monstrously
unfortunate that both parsons and old women should deem
ine proud, and I formed a resolution to destroy, in some
degree, this impression, in so far as to address courteously
all who could in the slightest degree promote my election
to the school. This resolve I carried out; though, in some
cases I found myself sorely tried. But lo! it had the
desired effect. I got the school ; or, in other words, J stood
at the top of the examination list. At the supper that
followed, the authorities of the place, in congratulating me
on my success, said, they were glad to have fallen in with
such a modest, unassuming fellow as myself: they did not
-want a haughty, stuck-up gentleman, who thought himself
too fine to associate with the peasantry. This was the first
sting my conscience received for not treating the stout
commissary's advice with greater respect ; but it has re
ceived many others since.
There were about a hundred children in the school to
which I had been appointed. The schoolmaster had a
house, a small plot of ground, the usual supply of wood,
and a stipend of thirty thalers a year. It was consequently
one of the most eligible at the time in the canton. I had
not seen the house, and knew nothing of its position, but
had been invited to come soon and take a look about me.
I went home that evening revelling in visions of earthly
bliss. I scarcely thought of where I was going, moving
along sometimes at a slow, and sometimes at a quick pace,
probably according as the pleasing sensations swelled and
swelled up in my breast. The thoughts that passed through
my mind I cannot now recollect : I was simply dreaming
awake. Whilst proceeding thus, I felt my hand smartly
stung, and thought it was the amman bidding me welcome
to my new home, but discovered it was a thorn branch
stretching across the road I had accidentally grasped.
Such a state of ecstasy is touching and agreeable, espe
cially to one such as myself, who had been long buffeting
with fortune. I fancied the end of my troubles and trials
126 JOTS AND SORROWS

had now been reached, and that there was nothing but
ease and tranquillity before me. Unfortunately such day
dreams are never realized: the reality always presents a
different aspect from the vision, just as on reaching some
apparently beautiful object upon which the eyes have been
long fixed, we find the dreamy ideal has completely vanished :
so new sorrows and new anxieties gather around us at
every step we advance.
The traveller in a mountainous country, as he pants
upwards through the intense sunshine, anxiously eyes what
he imagines to be the summit, dreams of level roads and
rest, and is happy in his dream ; but when he stands at the
top and looks around, he awakes from the pleasing delusion :
there are other hills and still steeper summits to ascend.
After a little repose, he must proceed further, panting and
perspiring; yet, on nearing every fresh summit, he yields
to the same rapturous anticipations. Such delusions would
be real pleasures if our hearts would accept them as such in
journeying through life ; but many, at each awakening,
feeling fainter and more dejected, at last sink down discon
solately, and pine away like the fish an ocean billow has
cast upon the sands of the shore, which, after many con
vulsive efforts, languishes and dies in bootless struggles.

CHAPTER XIV.
Next morning I was awoke early by joy, and a desire to
acquaint my old friend with my good fortune. The sun
had risen; but as yet the moon had not entirely dis
appeared, and the little stars were lingeringly retiring to
their couch, driven away by the ever increasing light.
From house and stable door were issuing men and cattle
proceeding to labour with cheerfulness. Merrily bleated
the sheep, their little lambs gamboling around them, as
frisking before the cattle they proceeded to the pastures.
The cattle walked more sedately and gravely, at most
attempting a heavy clumsy trot ; others unwillingly bent
their necks to the yoke and bellowed wildly when driven by
blows on their noses into the poles of the heavily laden
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 127

carts. They evidently would have preferred going to the

pastures with their comrades rather than before the wag
gons ; they looked something like learned professors called
from the dining-hall to the lecture-room, or members of
the State Government summoned from the comfortable inn
parlour to the council chamber.
With a measured tread the horses dragging the plough
paced onwards through the long furrows ; an able-bodied
peasant and a robust-looking young woman are chatting
gaily, and with hooks and hoes gathering the potatoes into
sacks : the industrious housewife herself, after clearing up
the interior of the dwelling, puts on a clean apron, shuts
the door, and marches off more stately than the others to
join her husband at work. One might see from a good
distance off that she knew people were looking at her, and
that the eye of the village was upon her to observe how
and when she went out to the fields. This village eye has
its uses : it keeps the women in the beaten path ; it has
more influence upon them than upon the men : but all are
more or less under its sway. And were it not for this
watchful guardian, many things would occur to disturb the
tranquillity of the peaceful villagers.
In all directions there was a great display of activity.
Troops of labourers, young and old, male and female, were
hard at work, some doing one thing, and some another.
As for myself, in the best of humours, I kept on my way
through the throng; and when I met a peasant leading
his four horses to the field, thought to myself, '' that man
and his horses have a toilsome day before them ; how much
easier and comfortable is the life of a schoolmaster." Then
I hummed a lively air, and sauntered on, in happy bliss-
fulness, wondering what my old friend would say, when he
learned that construing, after all, had secured for me so
enviable a position. I thought of my handsome stipend,
the many fine things it would buy ; how I would be one
that had no equal round about, how people would have to
say they never heard of so talented a person, much less
had such a one amongst them before.
How lightly we step along when the mind is occupied
with such fancies as these ! We feel as if we had wings
i28 JOYS AND SORROWS

and were flying through the air, whereas one cumbered

with griefs and cares feels as if walking knee-deep in mud.
My old friend was truly delighted with my success ;
but he very soon deluged all my beautiful visions with cold
water, and opened my intoxicated eyes.
" Now, Peter, my lad, have you got any money ?"
enquired he. " How are you to get the necessary things ?
You cannot sleep in an empty house ; what about a bed ?"
I had not thought at all about all this, and replied, " that
I should have to board somewhere at least for a time."
" No, Peter, my lad," rejoined he; ''that will never do;
what then will become of your house? Will you leave it
to the rats and black beetles ? Boarding will swallow up
more than half your pay. If you board, you will be ex
pected to give the family you are with a helping hand ;
they will take it amiss if you do not ; you will also be a
great loser in presents ; for, if you have no household,
people will bring you nothing."
All this became manifest enough to me ; but where to
get any money to furnish my house now that I had got one,
was by no means clear ; and I asked my counsellor what,
under the circumstances, he would advise me to do ? He
could make no suggestion other than that I should go to
my parents, and ask them to give me a lift. " They
cannot go on hating you for ever," said he, " and perhaps
they would be glad to hear that you have got settled clown
so comfortably in life ; and, at all events, they might lend
you some spare bed-clothes, and other things for a time."
I expressed my unwillingness to do this ; but as he said
he could see no other way of my getting over the difficulty,
I had to submit to fate, and bite into the sour apple.
The reception my parents gave me was, as I indeed had
anticipated, by no means gratifying. I will not dwell upon
the unkind things they said : I had to leave without
accomplishing the object of my visit ; nor did they offer me
a slice of bread or a glass of water. Of course, I returned
to my adviser. He then said, all he could do was to lend
me a few florins, as much as would buy a saucepan, a few
plates, earthenware dishes, spoons, and a knife ; but as
regards bed, bedding, a cupboard, and other things abso
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 129

lutely necessary, he could do nothing-. It then occurred to

me that I might borrow a bed from the farmer with whom
I had passed the winter; both he and hi3 wife were good
sort of people, and were not likely to refuse. Thus the
matter, as regards furniture, was considered settled.
My old friend next asked me whether I had my first
catechising lesson and a funeral oration ready, as no one
lsnew how soon the latter might be wanted. Luckily,
-whilst at the Normal School, I had furnished myself with
both these requisites ; else I should have been once more
at my wits' end. But then it had to be learned and
delivered. Here was another basin of cold water poured
on my head, just as 1 was getting a little easy. To com
pose a funeral oration might have puzzled me; but that
was nothing in comparison to delivering it. My heart
began to sink within me when I thought of this trial, for I
knew it to be part of my duty as schoolmaster. The old
man administered a small glass of brandy to me, by way of
giving me courage, and told me to learn the oration I had,
and he would hear me repeat it. He then said that he
would ask his wife to buy the kitchen utensils and crockery
for me, as I had not sense enough to do so myself. She
consented, but remarked " she scarcely expected to see the
money again, for many a thing would get into a young
schoolmaster's head besides paying his debts."
I was more successful with the farmer than my parents.
His wife not only lent me a bed and bedding, but also an
old box, that might do duty as a cupboard. She hinted
that I need be in no hurry to return the things, only she
would like them kept clear of bugs; for these creatures
she had no occasion, and they were known to be partial to
schoolmasters' houses. -
I had now to make my appearance in my parish, to
view and be viewed. The little village, which had no
church, lay prettily nestled amidst fields and forests. The
venerable looking thatched roofs stretched their moss-clad
ridges under the shadow of the green trees. Before each
of the houses was planted the inevitable dunghill, to which
the peasant's heart is warmly attached, and which he treats
with greater respect than the noble does his vine-clad
130 JOYS AND SORROWS
verandah. In front there was a narrow valley, through
which a small stream found its way, and, behind, the dim
mountain stretched itself up to the sky, its surface dotted
with groups of heifers and cows.
I had resolved to make myself as agreeable as possible
by calling on the people and gaining their esteem. They
did not prove themselves by any means unsocial : having
discovered that I had come, they all stood before their
doors and bade me welcome. Everywhere I was invited
to enter, had something to eat always placed before me,
and in most places the women made me something warm
to drink. Never in the whole course of my life, had I ever
consumed so much cake and coffee on one day, as I did on
this particular occasion ; much as I begged to be excused,
there were no means of escape. The drinking I might
have got over without much difficulty ; but the eating was
a tougher affair. Great, however, as the embarrassment
was, it was excelled by the offers I received to fetch my
furniture ; how many waggons would I require ? should I
want two or four horses ? and so on. I tried to decline
these kind overtures, but they would take no refusal. I
was ashamed to say that a small cart with one horse would
be quite sufficient, and muttered something about a waggon
with two horses, which was promised me, and a day was
fixed for my removal to the school-house.
Several of the farmers invited me to pass the first day
of my residence in the village at their houses, each saying
he would be offended if I went elsewhere. It was late
before I could get away ; they invited me to prolong my
visit; but, I felt so much horror at the eating and drinking,
and yearned so intensely for rest to my teeth and stomach,
that I would not have remained another hour even if they
had paid me handsomely for it. I had not been ac
customed to gormandizing, and could not, like some, lay
in a store of victuals for future digestion ; nor could I eat
as if I had been fasting for several days, and meant to fast
for several days to come.
* * * *
The waggon appeared on the day appointed to convey
^y furniture to the school-house. The driver, who was
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 131

the son of a wealthy farmer, smiled when, in addition to a

hamper containing my kitchen utensils and crockery, a
bed and a box were placed in the waggon, and he was
told there was nothing more. He had fancied that when
I said I would only require two horses, I had done so not
to incur more expense than was necessary, and, as a pre
caution, he had attached three to the vehicle. Now he
discovered, to his great astonishment, that the whole of
my goods and chattels might have been drawn along by a
stout peasant in a wheel-barrow.
I felt ashamed, and so did he, particularly, when the
people passing by asked with a smile, whether he thought
he would be able to get along ? He evidently felt too
affronted to joke about the matter, and, returning spiteful
answers, grew cooler and cooler towards me. Night had
fortunately set in before we arrived ; and the young driver
asked me frostily whether I would go over to the farm
with him and have some supper. This I courteously
declined, and another peasant, who helped us to unload,
having asked me to do so more pressingly, I told him I
might possibly give him a look in next morning ; but this
evening I intended to put my house to rights, and, more
over, being fatigued, I purposed retiring early to rest.
As the two men were going to leave, they offered to
light my candle for me with one of their lanterns. There
was nothing, however, to be found amongst all my house
hold utensils that bore the slightest resemblance to either
a candle or candlestick. My old friend's wife had either
forgotten these articles, or, what is more probable, would
not lay out money for anything beyond what she had been
absolutely instructed to buy.
One of the men, therefore, left his lantern and candle,
saying he would call at my house for the former next day
my house, yes, these words had a peculiarly agreeable
sound to one who had been always dwelling in other
people's, and had not been accustomed to look upon any
thing as his own. I cannot describe my sensations, when,
with lantern in hand, I moved about examining every
corner, and saying to myself: " Here I can do what I
choose." It seemed to me as if I ruled over half a world.
132 JOTS AND SORROWS

Dancing and prancing about till the whole house resounded,

I was delighted to find that no one called out, " Peter,
what are you making all that noise about ? "
The building was not old, and its defects as a new one
I did not see : walls that had not set, windows that would
not shut, as yet I was happily ignorant of; I only beheld
the two spacious rooms that were mine. I who had
hitherto slept in a garret was master of all I surveyed,
besides two stables and an immense granary large enough
for a ball room. I laid myself down in bed with the
proud feeling that I slept in my own house, not in
another's kitchen.

CHAPTER XV.
In the morning I was roused up by the sun, which sent
its rays into my eyes ; of course I had no curtains either
to the windows or the bed. Cheerfully I sprang up, and
soon stood fully dressed in the almost empty house.
Aye, there I stood, but very doubtful what I ought to
do next. I could discern by the sun that it was late, and
that most of the honest farmers would have breakfasted
by this time. Nor could I call to mind where the house
of the peasant was who had invited me to call on hira.
To find him out it was necessary to know his name ; but
of that I knew as little as of his house. Having already
paid him a visit, he had, no doubt, taken it for granted I
would know his house again. He did not reflect that
peasants' cottages, and sometimes the peasants themselves,
are as like each other as two eggs.
I did not know what to make of myself; and the
hungrier I grew, the more perplexed I became. To show
myself in front of the house would have been to expose
my hunger and my embarrassment. I stepped into the
kitchen in the hope of making a discovery of some kind ;
but everything there was empty ; not even a chip of wood
was anywhere to be seen. Whilst glancing at the window
to make sure that no one was watching me, I rummaged
amongst my moveables in search of something wherewith
 OF A SCUOOLMASTElt. 133

to make a breakfast; but all my earthen vessels, two in

number, were alike unoccupied. I eyed them and the
saucepan very closely, but could not catch sight of a
coffee berry or a stray drop of milk. Then came the
grand query, which not unfrequently occurs to human
beings : What is a man to do when he has nothing to
eat or drink ?
Nevertheless, hope did not desert me. I thought the
people fancied I was still asleep, and had the habit of lying
in bed late. But, eventually, the women and children
would make their appearance with such things as I stood
in need ofmilk, butter, bread, and whatever else they
had to offer me. Putting the saucepan to rights, I wiped
the dishes with the flap of my coat ; arranged everything
in the neatest possible order; and, would have lit a fire,
had there been wood and a tinder box at hand. But, not
possessing these things, I placed myself a little distance
from the window, and watched for some one bringing me
the needful supplies. People did come along ; but they did
not call out " Schoolmaster !" Neither did they knock at
my door. They passed on.
The men at the farms were mostly engaged in threshing.
But a number of stragglers were moving about; and when
any one of these hove in sight, I said to myself, " Now it
is all rightsomebody is coming." Hour after hour
passed away in this way. The sun stood in the zenith, and
the threshing ceased for a brief interval, the people, pro
bably, being at dinner. Still, I remained without "any
breakfast, wearied with gazing through the window. This,
however, evidently enough, was nobody's business but my
own.
At length I seated myself at the foot of the stove, and
began to consider how I should act in the event of no one
coming. Clearly enough, I must go to market; but, for
what ? This set me a reflecting on the things I actually
required ; and a formidable list of necessaries started up in
my mind. I was in want of provisions of all kindsbread,
butter, milk, potatoes (these I had thought would not have
been wanting), salt, flour, bacon, coffee, sugar, candles.
Then I had no candlestick ; neither had I a coffee-mill.
134 JOYS AND SORROWS

Such things as a table and chairs ought to have been in the

house as fixtures ; but there was no vestige of anything of
the kind. I had not even a pail to fetch water in ; and,
when fetched, I had no jug to pour it into. There was no
end of things I did not possess.
Having arrived at this conclusion, I stopped thinking,
put my hands in my breeches pocket, pulled out my money
bag; and, after counting its contents over three times, found
the whole to be exactly four-and-twenty batzens. There
was no use in attempting to divide this sum amongst the
various necessaries of which I stood in need. All of it
might very easily be expended on any one of them. I was
glad there was enough to appease actual hunger; and,
again approaching the window, tried to discover the grocer's
shop. But all the houses were so much alike, that I could
not make out which was which. I did not dare to enquire
for it, lest the people should think I did so on purpose to
shame them into sending me a few presents.
Thus, at every moment, I was getting deeper and deeper
into misery, with less and, less prospect of being able to
extricate myself. I even began to feel a sort of terror on
approaching the window. But I could see the sun was
verging on the horizon, and that darkness would very soon
hide my wretchedness from the gaze of the villagers.
Throwing myself on the bed, sad and sorrowful, I lay there
in a state of utter prostration. Hark !a noise ! Some
one is kicking at the door with both feet ! I hastened to
open it. The peasant, who the evening before had invited me
to his house, stood before it; and a heavy load fell from
my heart. He said, he had just left work, and was going
home to supper ; would I come along with him ?
I did not refuse this seasonable invitation, particularly as
it was very kindly put. As we went along, he asked me,
why I had not kept my promise to visit him in the morning ?
What I had been about all day ? And whom I had called
upon ? To the last question, I replied, " No one ;"and, to
the first, I grumbled out an unintelligible answer. When
we were seated at supper, the peasant's wife, seeing I was
young, and not particularly astute, contrived, in her own
way, to find out that I had not been outside the house all
 OF A SCIIOOLMASTSU. 135

day, and that I had eaten nothing for twenty- four hours.
Women generally are very expert at putting questions, as
well as at knowing the proper sort of questions to put, and
in knowing the temper of the persons they are questioning.
They manage to clothe the words in such a way that their
import is not noticed till the answer has heen given. Many
a one of them would make a tenfold better diplomatist than
one-tenth of our professional politicians. They pitied me ;
but could not help laughing a good deal ; and, 1 have not
the slightest doubt but that the very next day an estimate
jf my character was formed throughout the entire village.
Doubtless, they had come to the conclusion, that I might
be a very good schoolmaster for aught they knew ; but, in
most other respects, I was a complete simpleton.
Next morning, in consequence of the news spread about
that I was very poor, presents came pouring in upon me.
no one wishing to be outdone in generosity by his neighbour.
All sorts of things were brought me, even to brooms and
a tub. Here another embarrassment presented itself. I
could not ask any of the people to sit down, by reason of
not having any chairs, particularly as several of them often
came together. They gazed about the room with an air of
curiosity ; and, having been told that I was a little stupid,
thought I would not observe them. That, however, was a
great mistake on their part. Conscious of my poverty, I
noticed their looks and air, and my embarrassment increased.
A person is all the more sensitive to a look or word, when
he knows the defect to which it points is real. Haughty and
vain people are the least sensitive when their failings are
hinted at, because they do not imagine they have any. A
man who ventures to cast insinuations about him by his
looks, ought to be a skilful physiognomist, and know well
the persons in whose presence he is criticising ; for, if such
a look is caught, he has shown his cards, and his sentiments
become known to the party concerned. Afterwards, when
I knew myself, and consequently other people, better, I
could often ascertain the opinion others entertained of me
by their glances, and was thereby put on my guard. It is
worth something to be able to look keenly into another's
136 JOTS AND SORROWS

eye. The power is invaluable in fencing ; and what, after

all, is life, but a continual fence ?
On Sunday I had to perform the first of my duties as
schoolmaster, and, at the same time, one of the most
arduous, namely, my induction to extemporary catechising.
I experienced then what a person feels when he has to per
form an important operation at a fixed hour, which cannot
be deferred. He may, from the beginning, be fearful, that
he will not be prepared in time. He may be constantly
interrupted, and have his time still further shortened.
How, in that case, he must knit his brows; and, whilst
affecting the utmost urbanity, be boiling over with irrita
tion ! Even when the visitor departs, the evil is not
remedied ; for he requires time to collect his scattered
thoughts, and again bring his mind to bear on the subject.
The more anxious he becomes, the less progress he makes;
the more he hastens, the slower he gets along. This is
particularly so, when one has, for the first time, to make
his appearance in public as an orator. The most hetero
geneous thoughts and ideas come into his head. Hope and
anxiety struggle in his soul. Now he imagines himseli
laughed atnow he fancies himself applauded ; and it
requires strenuous internal exertion to chase away these
unbidden guests.
I had carefully committed to memory the preamble and
application, and I did not fear failing in these, particularly
as I could take the rough sketch with me ; but I dreaded
the catechising, and read, over and over again, Musli's
Guide to strengthen me for the task. I also kept in mind
my old friend's advice, never to tarry over wrong answers ;
to pass them over quickly, and not get into confusion.
I was also most anxious to do everything properly, and in
regular order. First, to place my hat before my face, then
to sing, to pray, preamble, the catechising, application, then
again prayer, next singing, and finally prayer. The greatest
of my anxieties was about my manner in entering the room,
and ascending the few steps to the little pulpit. I thought
at least a hundred times a day, that, if I once got up there
all right, I would manage tolerably well.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 137

I did not oversleep myself that Sunday morning. On

the contrary, I wasup betimes, busily practising the
mode of entering the room,the standing in the pulpit,
and the motioning with the hands. The nearer the hour
approached, the more nervous I became. I could scarcely
breathe ; still, though I had a good deal to do, I could
not help staring out of the window, to see how many
people were going into the schoolroom.
I had a good deal of bother with my neckcloth,a
beautiful black one, with a blue and red border. Having
no looking-glass, I had to look at myself in the window-
panes ; but each pane gave me a different appearance ; 80
that when one pane convinced me I had accomplished a
tasteful knot, another proved to me the same knot was
hideous. This threw me into a state of perspiration ;
and I would never have got the operation finished, had
not some one come in and told me that I had better
make haste, for the schoolroom was full of people with
seats and stools, and I would not be able to get through
them.
My left side throbbed violently at this information, and
as I entered the school, my face coloured up to the eyes.
The crowd seemed to me floating in the air, and I stag
gered rather than walked to my place. When I began to
read the psalm, I felt as if an iron fist was throttling me,
and could scarcely get a thimbleful of breath, though I
dived ever so deep in search of it. Do what I would, I
could not make the long pauses in reading ; but when I
had to give out the psalm, and was intoning the la, mi, re,
ut, I sometimes croaked like a frog, and at others chirruped
like a sparrow, pushing the boat off into the water before
I seized the rudder. But the singing went off very well
for all that. There were some worthies there who under
stood that part of the business a great deal better than I.
Meanwhile, I recovered my breath, grasped the reins, and
became master of the tune. This raised me into the
saddle, and inspired me with courage. It is astonishing,
the controlling and tranquillizing power of singing on the
human heart, particularly when we join in it with our own
voices. Many a grief and many a rancour have I drowned
138 JOTS AND SORROWS

From this point I went on smoothly enough, and had

not even to refer to my notes. In the catechising, I
insisted on progress, but nevertheless had to do all the
work myself, and so was not troubled with any wry
answers. The children looked straight into my face,
smiled to, and nudged each other. This led me to hurry
on, and when I asked a question, gave also the answer with
the supplementary query, " Is it not ? "
In short, my introductory catechising went off without
a flaw. I did not stick fast in anything, did not make any
egregious blunder, and if I did feel a little short of breath
at the beginning, I had plenty to spare at the end, and
could have puffed myself out as broad as I liked. Some of
the men stayed behind and paid me a few compliments.
They had not thought, they said, that I could catechise so
well ; for so young a man, it was very creditable indeed ;
many an elder one could not have acquitted himself with
so much propriety ; their late schoolmaster was a very
good sort of man, but he could not get along in the cate
chising ; there was always a hitch somewhere ; he kept
lingering about one place, and would often dwell so long
on a word as to make the people ready to rush out of
their skins.
I was much gratified with these praises, especially when
I thought of the anxieties out of which I had justemerged ;
but Satan never finds a better opportunity to take posses
sion of us, nor does he ever find our doors wider open than
when we are under the influence of flattery. Assuming a
grandiloquent air, 1 said that I had had but little time
for preparation, and only that morning could give a little
attention to the subject ; but at another time the cate
chising would go off much better, as I believed myself
inferior to no man in that particular branch of education.
When the praises of the elders had subsided, I became
curious to know why the children had been laughing and
nudging each other. Asking some of them whether they
had noticed anything ludicrous about me, they replied in
the negative, but said I pronounced some words very oddly.
I could not make this out, as I fancied my pronunciation
was not now very far out of the way ; I therefore requested
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 139

them to point out some instances. Thus I discovered I

had not given the absurd local inflection to some of the
words. They told me I had said ja (yes) instead of jo, ni
instead of net, bumeli instead of baumeli, and so on.
I was gravely advised to lay aside these peculiarities.
They told me that with a little attention I should soon be
able to pronounce correctly, adding, they thought my
accent vulgar, and that it could do no good to speak and
read in such an outlandish manner. Such is the way with
people who have never travelled beyond their own home
steads, and seldom hear of what goes on elsewhere : they
acquire a self-complacency that breeds contempt for all
who are not exactly like themselves, and who do not act
precisely as they do. Unfortunately, these notions have a
pernicious effect, by checking improvement. The peasants
smile to their very teeth, when an attempt is made to shake
them out of their local prejudices, and their smile expresses
distinctly enough that they know a great deal more about
such matters than you do. A housewife of this stamp is
fully persuaded that no lady whatever can make a more
rational basin of porridge, or fatten a sensible pig better
than she can.
I did not sleep much that night, but had pleasing dreams
all the same. I was very happy, and joy keeps one awake
quite as effectually as its opposite sorrow. 1 felt no great
anxiety about the school business; for I did not think there
was anything connected with that I need feel anxious about.
The school was opened in the usual way, and at the usual
time. When the children had assembled, I heard the
lessons of the bigger ones first, then read with the
question-bookers, and spelt with the spelling- bookers,
finally winding up by reading in the Bible Selections, with
such as were sufficiently advanced. Precisely the same
course was pursued in the afternoon, at least in so far as
regards the first few weeks ; and, although I say it myself,
I really was extremely industrious and painstaking ; going
early into the schoolroom, I began to hear the children
their lessons as soon as they came in, not waiting till they
had upset all the tables and turned the stools topsy turvy.
Thus, by preventing them becoming impatient, I kept
140 JOTS AND SORROWS

them out of a great deal of mischief. This, however, gave

me a good deal of extra trouble, for the young people got
no end of questions, of Gellert, of psalms, of Bible Stories,
and even whole chapters of the New Testament, on their
memory, vying with each other as to who would be able to
say most. I had to listen to waggon loads of one thing
and another, and in attending four or five times a day to
the spellers, never had a moment unoccupied.
Sometimes a child would stay at home for a week learn
ing by heart, and then wanted me to hear all that off at
once, which took up half the day, and almost justified the
parents in saying, " Really, schoolmaster, there is no use
for sending our children to school, for they learn as much
at home as they do there."
The people praised me as a hard working young man, and
matters went on better than they had expected ; only I was
not thought severe enough. This was perfectly true.
During the two preceding winters, I had contracted the
habit of doing my best to make myself a favourite, being of
opinion, that by first gaining the affection of the children,
I might afterwards, when necessary, resort to severity
without incurring their dislike. No child, however, and
least of all one rudely brought up, is obedient from pure
aflection ; it is ever prone to follow the dictates of its own
inclination. Attachment begets obedience only when
accompanied by respect, which must be secured by making
the child sensible that a higher, firmer, and more powerful
will opposes its own, that this will cannot be blinded,
deluded, or lulled to sleep, and that it is equally wakeful in
the evening, as it is in the morning. Then the child's
nature bends ; love as well as affection are generated in its
breast; but not till then does obedience become cheerful
and voluntary.
Afterwards, when it became absolutely necessary for me
to enforce order, in using the rod, I affected to be under
an impression that I was acting unjustly, that the children
were being ill-treated, and that I had no right to punish
them, that is to say, I had already engendered in their
minds that I would not beat them, do what they might,
and now that I did whip them, they naturally judged my
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 141

conduct to be inconsistent, since I might have done so a

hundred times before had I thought proper, or had it been
justifiable.
My whipping the children now seemed to them a mere
ebullition of ill-humour, or a special ill-will I entertained
towards the boy chastised and his relatives, for it was con
sidered a recognised fact that schoolmasters invariably
visited on the children all the shortcomings or neglects of
the parents. Sometimes the latter would call and ask,
whether they had offended me in any way, since I had
lashed, or put their child in a corner. I generally said,
that I had no complaint to urge against themselves, but
that the child had acted very badly, to which they usually
replied that others had done the very same thing over and
over again, without being punished, and consequently they
supposed I had some particular reason for my severity.
Thus, partial or intermitting chastisement produced a sin
gularly bad effect out of doors.
Though it is possible I may have erred this time in my
system of discipline, still I may urge the importance
generally of first impressions. Schoolmasters ought not to
appear to the children as sheep, neither ought they to
assume the aspect of tigers. They ought to appear,
especially at the outset, as men who are above the children,
who love them, but who insist on being respected and
obeyed. This precept is not only of moment to teachers
of youth, but also to all those who are in positions of
dignity and command.

CHAPTER XVI.
The attendance at my catechising class gradually aug
mented. Girls came from other parishes, two, three, and
four together, hand in hand, in loving rows. I thought
within myself they came on purpose to behold the cele
brated schoolmaster, and consequently deemed it my duty
to show myself as much as possible, so that, having wit
nessed the light of my countenance, they might induce
others to join the class.
142 JOTS AND SORROWS

One fine Sunday morning I dressed myself up smartly to

go to church. I began washing my face at an early hour,
but my hair would not curl nicely however much I wetted
and twisted it, so that it was a long time before I got
through the operation of combing. I had looked forward
to the pleasure of sitting, before the service commenced,
on the churchyard wall, or of standing in the porch and
hearing the people remark, " Is that he ?" " Look ! do
you see that handsome young man there ? that is our new
schoolmaster; he is so clever and catechises beautifully."
Thus I had pre-arranged the affair, and feasted to my
heart's delight on the compliments in prospective ; but by
my dilatoriness I had spoiled the treat. Still I did not
relinquish the hope of being in time, and, using my legs to
good purpose, soon overtook some of the stragglers. These
I tried to pass ; but they stopped me. " Do not be in a
hurry, schoolmaster," said they, " we are early enough."
And such, indeed, was the case; in my anxiety I had
supposed it to be much later than it really was ; and had I
finished dressing myself sooner, I might have been half an
hour meditating among the tombs quite alone, which was
not exactly what I wanted. As it was I had to keep pace
with fat women who amused themselves by talking about
the particular conditions of the atmosphere that required
them to water the cabbages. Next I had to converse
with sedate men, whose constant topic was law-suits.
Others told me of bargains they were about to strike, how
much milk their cows gave, and how little grain their
season's threshing had yielded. As I could not shake off
these talkers, or run away on before, I learnt how a horse
must feel when bridled for the first time.
At length we reached the churchyard. The bells had
not begun ringing ; but a number of people were already
assembled. Three men were standing not far from the
entrance, with their psalm-books under their arms (I had
forgotten mine). One of them addressed me, and, offering
his hand, said, " he presumed I was the new schoolmaster
at the Schnabelweide." On my answering that I was,
he said that the three other schoolmasters of the commune
stood before me.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 143

The gentlemen, my colleagues, as the phrase goes now-

a-days, asked me the usual questions, how I was ? and how
I liked my place ? I civilly, or stupidly, overflowed with
boasting about everything in general, and my own satis
faction in particular ; whereupon one of them opined, that
was the way with all young schoolmasters, but my ideas
would change with time. Another remarked, sneeringly,
that new brooms sweeped clean. The third observed that
the more one boasts at the beginning, the more he will be
disappointed at the end. One asked me whether I could
not sing, as I had no book, or whether I thought it too
much trouble to carry one ; the second enquired whether,
as in duty bound, I had paid my respects to the minister,
because, if I had not done so, I could expect nothing but
sour looks from him. On the third suggesting that of
course I had adopted the modern method of teaching, I
rejoined that I pursued the method in common use every-
where else. Surely I taught construing. I replied that I
had not yet thought of such a thing. " Really, then,"
said he, "I do not see what reason you have for boasting,"
all his pupils could construe, they went through it like mill
wheels.
In this way I had to listen to a multitude of things
vastly different from what I had anticipated. To get away
and mingle with people from whom I could hear something
more agreeable being utterly impossible, clenching my fist
in my pocket, I bore their strictures with the utmost com
posure I could command.
After the sermon I hurried off in all haste without hear
ing one of the compliments that I had hoped would have
been showered down upon me by the dozen. I had been
quizzed and ridiculed, instead of being admired and praised.
So it fared with me very often in after life, meeting irony
and derision where I had reason to expect gratitude and
honour. If perchance I at any time said to myself, " Aye,
Peter, you have managed most ably this time, few could
have done better, many not so well, how the people will
stare when they hear of it, and how they will extol you !"
then, in such a case, I might safely reckon on encountering
nothing but abuse and vexation, even though I had done
144 JOYS AND SORROWS

something actually meritorious, and my expectations were,
in all points of view, reasonable.
How is it that such bitter fruits spring from so good
seed ? This enigma I could not solvte for a long time, and
was beginning to think with most people, that a man is a
fool who aims at being supremely useful, and that true
wisdom consists in every one confining himself to looking
after his own interest. It happened, one catechising day,
I had to explain the words : " All our good works are
tainted with sin." For a long time I could not comprehend
this passage. At length it occurred to me that pride and
vanity were the sins referred to, for they involuntarily rise
up within us when we have done anything that merits
praise, or that we deem praiseworthy: the sins therefore
consisting in the exaggerated estimate we form of our own
actions. Now, as God in His wisdom causes every sin to
be followed by an admonition or a punishment inwardly or
outwardly ; so, pride and vanity are chastised by not being
ministered to, but are left to wound and mortify in our
bosoms. People not comprehending this, instead of re
straining their vain passions, cease doing or striving to do
good. Could we but bring ourselves to perform good
works with unassuming modesty, like the child our Saviour
placed in the midst of His disciples, then should we be
spared a good half of our mortifications, and our truly vir
tuous actions would not be vitiated by sinful aspirations.
At that time, however, I did not see much further than
other young schoolmasters, that is, not much beyond the
length of my nose. The conclusion I arrived at was
simply not to be outdone by my rivals. They had taught
their school children to construe like mill wheels : mine
should be taught to do so likewise. They had dared to
doubt my capacity to teach singing : I should have my
pupils taught written music. Luckily there were a few
copies of Gellert's Hymns in the school: that would enable
me to carry out this resolution. Moreover, not relishing
the idea that others should be on better terms with the
minister than myself, I determined to wait upon his reverence
the following day, and ingratiate myself into his favour.
To present one's self, however, to such a magnate, was
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 145

an event in the life of every one in the parish, and espe

cially so for a timid young schoolmaster like myself. I
therefore deferred my visit till the end of the week. It
looked very repelling, that large stone house with the
knocker on the door, to say nothing of the black clothing
within. The gentleman himself was a majestic person
wrapped up in an immense quantity of clerical dignity and
official importance. One could never tell what might elicit
the thunder and lightning from such a cloud, or whether
one might appear before it opportunely or inopportunely.
Nevertheless I set out one evening on my mission, my
steps becoming shorter the nearer I approached the house,
and, with a beating heart, I knocked at the door. A long
while I waited outside : no one seemed to stir within. At
length, wearied out, I knocked again : then appeared a
servant maid snarling and growling at not being permitted
to eat her evening meal in quiet, and desired to know what
pressing business brought me there at that hour. My
object, I told her, was to speak with the minister. She
replied, curtly, that he was at his coffee, and could not be
disturbed. Then, I said, I would wait till he bad finished;
whereupon the sooty-looking cookmaid told me I might do
so, but it seemed to her that people had no sense, coming
at meal hours, which they surely ought to know by this
time.
After waiting a good long time, two children entered the
room in which I stood, and without either wishing me
" good evening," or saying " God bless you,'' eyed me on
all sides, asked who I was ? what I wanted ? whether I
had scraped my shoes? remarking, at the same time, that
mama thought I was very rude to call when papa was
taking his coffee. All this I listened to somewhat be
wildered, answering the questions as well, as I could.
Having undergone this ordeal decently, I was called by
his reverence, a tall man, wearing a little black skull cap.
He was in a little dusky room occupied in filling his pipe ;
nor did he take the slightest notice of me till he had
accomplished that operation and had entered upon the pro
cess of lighting it. Meanwhile the waiting had much the
same effect upon me as the first catechising, my throat
L
146 JOYS AND SORROWS

having become as parched as then. Words at last dropped

from his mouth.
He began by saying, that he thought I had been some
what tardy in making my appearance, and that he could
not make out what young schoolmasters were made of in
these days, since they kept school open for weeks without
coming to consult the minister: they seemed to aim very
high, and fancy themselves very lofty. He, for his part,
could not comprehend how in the world a schoolmaster,
who had fallen into a school as if from the skies, was to
succeed without the aid and advice of the clergyman ; he,
probably, fancied himself a prophet, and his school a sort
of beggnr's coat, which it was of no consequence whether
we began to mend at the top, the bottom, behind or in
front.
Whilst lecturing me in this way, I was standing on my
feet and he was blowing magnificent clouds of smoke from
an elegant meerschaum, that must have cost a florin or
two.
I attempted to excuse myself by pleading want of time,
chiefly on account of the preparations I had to make for
the catechising ; but I took care not to boast on this
occasion of the rapidity with which I got over the business.
He then offered me a wooden stool, and seated himself in
a large easy chair with a very long back covered with
leather, such as I had never seen before. When seated,
becoming less abrupt in his remarks, he asked me what I
had been doing in school, and what course I intended to
pursue.
I gave him a detailed account of my daily proceedings,
observing that the children had been neglected ; but that I
had done my best to remedy the defect, and that they had
already made fair progress. " When do you intend com
mencing writing and arithmetic ? " he inquired. I replied,
that two or three boys had expressed a wish to commence
writing after New Year's Day, and at the same time to
begin learning the art of measuring haystacks. "Very
good," observed his reverence, " but it will not do to let
them have their own way." It was his office, he added, to
dictate how teaching was to be carried on ; now, he would
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 147

not allow any of the pupils to commence writing and sums

before having committed the Catechism to memory; every
thing learned by heart during the preceding year should be
repeated at each successive opening of school, and if the
entire Bible could be gone over in this way, of course so
much the better. This repetition was a matter of the
greatest importance, for to ground the children well in
religion was our primary duty, and without attention to
this matter, nothing could be done in the Catechising class.
On the other hand, he continued, the Catechism being
known, no one need be asked whether he or she wishes to
learn writing or arithmetic. Both ought to be taught as a
matter of course, or at least as much of them as possible,
particularly to boys, for these branches of knowledge were
most useful to them. The poor also ought to be taught
them as well as the rich, for, indeed, the poor had more
need of them than wealthy people. The girls too ought to be
taught ; both writing and arithmetic might be of use even
to them some time or the other. He wished every one in
the school, who had learnt the Catechism, to do sums one
hour in the forenoon, and to write one hour in the after
noon, or to give more time to these subjects if it could be
found. He had given these directions to the former
schoolmaster, but one girl only had succeeded in ac
complishing the preliminary step ; and she, not wishing to
appear singular, had abandoned both the writing and the
arithmetic.
When his reverence had finished giving me instructions
as to how I was to conduct the school business, he turned
his attention to my own personal deportment. " Always
behave," said he, "becomingly; do not make yourself too
familiar with young people, and especially with females ; the
latter, particularly, are extremely apt to lure a young
schoolmaster to join in their pranks, simply with a view
to laugh at his folly and to pride themselves in the notion
that they are wiser than he, or, it may be, to cloak their
own doings by saying that the schoolmaster was with them,
and that he surely knew what was right and proper for
them. He strongly advised me to be on my guard, adding
that there were people in the immediate vicinity of the
148 JOYS AND SORROWS

schoolhouse, who would like nothing better than to divert

themselves at my expense, which my predecessor had dis
covered to his cost. He next urged me to stay at home
in the evenings and improve myself in acquiring useful
knowledge, and especially to repose during the night in
my own bed, for that was the proper place for a school
master.
Having concluded his homily, which, as we have seen,
he divided into two very dissimilar sections, he relapsed
into occasional remarks verging almost on complete
silence. I, on my side, had been entirely silent throughout,
and was now beginning to wish myself at home, half
dreading that a third division of the discourse might
become manifest. I did not, however, know how to get
away. Jerking about on the stool, I once or twice resolved
to rise, but failed in the attempt. At length his reverence
himself rose up, and said, " Now, Kaiser, you have heard
how I wish you to act ; I hope you will do as I bid you,
-otherwise we shall not get on very well together."
Promising to adhere dutifully to his instructions, I
-wished him good night, turned towards the door, opened
it, entered the passage, and, with my back towards him,
made a very profound and very respectful bow, stumbling
at the same time across the threshold abutting somewhat
ungently against the exterior wall. Nevertheless, I was
infinitely pleased to find that the audience was over, and
that to all intents and purposes I was fairly outside the
clerical mansion.
Yet the lecture I had just heard whirled about my head
as none had ever done before. His reverence had actually
commanded me to teach all the children in the school,
girls as well as boys, writing and arithmetic, not excepting
even the poor, who were to be taught as well as, if not in
preference to the rich. This upset my ideas of propriety
altogether, and I could not help thinking that a clergyman
had at least the gift of inventing extraordinary things for
another man to perform.
It appeared to me exceedingly absurd to cause all the
children to learn writing and sums. Surely, thought I,
they themselves are the best judges as to whether they are
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 149

ever likely to require such knowledge. The minister urges the

plan simply to plague the farmers, cause them unnecessary
expense, and annoy the schoolmaster. How could the
latter be expected to hear the lessons and at the same time
superintend, not three or four, but thirty or forty, engaged
in writing and reckoning ? Such a notion could only
occur to a person who knows nothing of school manage
ment, but who, having nothing else to do, fancies impossi
bilities for others to accomplish. I wished his reverence
would try school-keeping for a time, just to find out how
little he knew about the art. It was all very fine for him
seated in his leathern easy chair, to order things to be done
by others that he could not do himself.
After these mental reflections on the first part of the
minister's homily, I turned my thoughts to the second, and
arrived at about the same conclusion that I had come to
regarding the other. The minister is jealous, argued I, of
the esteem I have acquired amongst the people who flock
to my Catechising lessons ; he wishes to estrange me from
them and make them dislike me. I could not help
laughing heartily at his notion, that the young women
would make game of me and turn me into their
scapegoat. This appeared to me a most singular fancy. I
accounted for it by supposing the minister did not know
how fond the people were of me ; how affectionately they
acted towards me, and how discreet I was. In point of
fact, reasoned I, these private affairs do not concern him ;
I was not a nobleman, I was a schoolmaster who has quite
as much right to enjoy himself and take part in the village
sports as the peasants themselves. What would be the
consequence, if I shut myself up in the way his reverence
proposed? Most assuredly the people would declare I was
haughty, that I sought to ape the nobility, and I would be
looked upon as a fool, and laughed at.
Thus with my head full of exceptions to the,clergyman's
views, I got back to my little village, but did not go straight
home. A young man when he has a grievance against any
one rankling in his breast, is rarely able to conceal the
cause of his vexation from others. He generally proceeds
to unburden himself of the affair to his friends, these
150 JOYS AND SORROWS

friends being the first comers that will listen to his real or
imaginary griefs. Stepping into a house the inmates of
which had always professed great regard towards me, I
placed myself at the foot of the stove, and, assuming a
look of irritation, waited till they asked what had crossed
my path to make me look so cross.
To this question I did not reply at once ; and it was not
till it had been put a third time, that I replied, I had been
to see the minister, and that he had made me quite vexed.
Then I recounted the things he had required me to do, and
the cautions he had given. This loosened the tongues of
the worthy people. The housewife especially opened out
very freely, when she learnt that her daughters were to be
taught writing and arithmetic. What a fine thing it would
be, she protested, if children were to be made wiser than
their parents ; surely Satan was at the bottom of such a
proposition. As it was, they had great difficulty in getting
their sons and daughters to obey them, how much greater
would the difficulty not be if they were taught all sorts of
useless things. Working was the chief thing, not pas
time. She did not know either writing or arithmetic, yet
she was a farmer's wife, and defied any one to show a
more saving or better manager than herself.
The husband was not less energetic. The notion that
every beggar's boy was to be taught the same things
as a farmer's son passed his understanding ; the result
would be that the labourers, being as wise as their masters,
would want to thrust their noses into everything ; he should
like to see the end of such a proceeding. The minister
was fond of teasing people whenever he had an oppor
tunity ; he did not like to see that some of us were better
off than himself, always sided with the evil-disposed,
listened to every complaint made to him, and often told the
governor mischievous things of the farmers. He knew
that from the clerk ; but the governor took more interest
in their welfare than the minister did, and paid no attention
to the reports circulated about them. They paid the
schoolmaster, and I had better go on as I had commenced,
for that was the course they approved of.
In like manner and spirit they criticised the admonitions
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 151

I had received regarding my personal deportment. It is

very bad of the minister, said they, to excite the school
master to suspect them; that was done because he him
self could not share in their fun ; he was no better than
other people, but his cloth prevented him openly taking
part in their recreations, and therefore he grudged them
every kind of pleasure. They did not like a schoolmaster
who assumed an air of being grander and better than them-
selves ; 1 was one of their own class, and should do as
they did; they did not care what the minister said, neither
need I. This being the sort of advice I was in search of,
I readily agreed to follow it, and permit the school business
to continue as it had done from time immemorial.
Living in a tolerably good sized house all by myself, I
felt somewhat lonely, and my heart began to evince the
yearnings peculiar to all in tenements of flesh and bone.
The people noticed I liked to hear young women talked of,
that I tried to attract their notice, and that, after the cate
chising, I did not move away in a very great hurry, and
that when the young women and grown up girls showed an
inclination to linger behind, I very readily gave out another
hymn as a further inducement for them to stay.
Taking advantage of these symptoms of the tender pas
sion, and having considered me somewhat simple from the
very first, I was, though quite unconscious of it, made
game of in all kinds of ways. The old people invited me
to their houses, and with grave faces hinted that I was
quite a favourite with the fair sex, and had only to choose ;
never since the schoolhouse had been built, were there so
many girls in attendance at the catechising class ; I had
room enough in my house for a wife, and could easily get
hold of a rich one, a few thousand florins would be just the
thing for a schoolmaster ; my wife and I might farm some
land, keep two cows and sell the butter ; this paid well.
So they talked, and I passed-many a spare hour calculating
how much per annum two cows would realise in calves
and butter, invariably coming to the conclusion, the result
would be certain luxuries which I did not at present
possess.
The young fellows also crowded round me, some of them
152 JOYS AND SORROWS

often assembled at my house in the evenings, and got me

to accompany them afterwards to the tavern. They nar
rated their feats amongst the girls, induced me to take a
part in their pranks, always taking care to make me as
prominent in them as they possibly could, without exciting
my suspicion. Thus young and old courted my society,
partly because I afforded them amusement, and partly
because I was not ashamed of them even under the most
equivocal circumstances.
Once a venerable looking old farmer, with along white
beard, told me that it would be much better for me if I
stayed a little more at home and behaved less foolishly, for
worthy people did not at all approve of my goings-on.
When I spoke complainingly of this admonition to some
of my friends, observing that it seemed impossible for me
to please everybody, as to some I seemed too exclusive,
and to others too frolicsome. They all agreed in declaring
I ought to pay no attention to what old grey beard
said, he had always been an oddity, and had never done as
other people do; besides, if I were to humour him and his
friends, I should lose caste with the others. It almost
appeared as if the entire village had entered into a con
spiracy to make me their laughing-stock by plunging me
into a kind of moral stupefaction that rendered sound judg
ment no longer possible.
The young women behaved no better. In alliance with
the young men, they determined to make use of me to
promote their own ends. Feigning the utmost regard for
me, they would look back after I passed them, and parti
cularly so when in the vicinity of the school-house; and
such glances have always a special signification to those
who are disposed to take notice of them. Even wealthy
well-to-do young women condescended, for some reason or
other, to engage in this species of flirtaton as regards
myself, though I knew perfectly well they were not quite
so lavish of it as regarded certain other young men. One
of them appearing to be sincere, accepted my invitation to
take a cup of coffee, permitted me to accompany her home,
and led me to entertain the notion that I was on a perfectly
sure footing with her. Being much elated, T calculated
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 153

more frequently than ever the produce of the two cows;

only I doubted whether it would not be better to buy a
piece of land than merely rent a farm.
My general inclination towards the fair sex now began
to assume a warmth towards a particular person. Whether
it was the cows or some other coincidences that attracted
me specially towards Studi Hofbure, I cannot exactly say ;
but that I was over head and ears in love with her, and
that I was quite as silly and ridiculous as other individuals
under like conditions is perfectly certain. Every day I ran,
no one can tell how often, past her father's house, and even
if there were no other living creature in front of it except
the dog, I spoke to it, in the hope that Studi might come
out, or at least thrust the tip of her nose through the little
sliding window. When I was fortunate enough to catch
sight of her at the well or the wood heap, I felt a glow all
over me. She would sometimes give me a look that made
me happy for the rest of the day, and kept me awake the
greater part of the succeeding night. I could stand for
hours together looking out of my window in the hope she
might chance to pass, and whenever I happened to see her
talking to any other young man, I felt as if jagged all over
with needles and pins, and was half inclined to attempt
thrashing the fellow, no matter who he might be, or at
least to try and give him a smart push, by way of winding
up the conversation.
For this reason I had often in public places to undergo
a great amount of vexation ; for I had often to submit to
see others dance with her and conduct her home. Every
body joked me on the subject : some praised Studi, told me
she spoke favourably of me, and that her mother said I
was a presentable person, possessed of very good manners ;
but others assured me the young woman spoke of me
sneeringly, and had declared, over and over again, she
would never marry a man whose entire wardrobe consisted
of a suit of clothes, four mended shirts, and part of a pair
cf stockings, Her parents also teased me about getting
married, telling me it was time for me to take a wife, and
that I ought to look out for a rich one. When I called
upon them, they invariably invited me to repeat my visit,
154 JOYS AND SORROWS

so that I took it for granted they had no objections to give

me their daughter, consequently was once or twice on the
point of addressing the jocose farmer as father-in-law.
As regards Studi herself, I could not altogether make
her out. Sometimes she appeared as if she thought my
attentions a nuisance, and would keep me standing and
running about in front of the house for hours without
showing the slightest sign of life; moreover, she would
coolly refuse when I met her abroad to allow me to accom
pany her home, without assigning any reason ; and when
she did consent to my going with her, would often start me
off when about half way, as if tired of my companionship ;
added to which she would flatly decline telling me where
she was going the following Sunday. At other times she
would be extremely agreeable, accepting readily a glass of
wine. On such occasions I flattered myself the two cows
were perfectly secure. As yet I had not talked to her
about marriage, but eventually began to throw out hints.
Once, when she was in a particularly good humour, I re
marked that probably she meant to be a farmer's wife, but
I thought she was fitted for a better position. To this she
replied she would prefer a quieter and more easy life, for,
said she, a farmer's wife was only good for rearing children
and fattening pigs ; she had to get up very early in the
morning; when she wanted a choppin, she had to steal the
money ; and whenever she took a half-holiday had to sub
mit to a week's scolding afterwards.
These strictures on life in a farm gave me courage to
prosecute my suit. I did not doubt for a moment but that
they had been uttered in the utmost sincerity, and were
designed to promote a good understanding between us; yet
I was not ignorant that girls habitually disclaimed what
they ardently desired, and that it is a part of woman's
nature to apply unkind words to what they love.
Nevertheless, buoyed up with hope and self-esteem,
venturing to speak more plainly, I told her how comfortable
a wife would be with me ; she would neither have to rise
very early, nor work very hard; then 1 enumerated the
things I would buy for her, and the places I would take her
to, winding up by asking her how she would like all that ?
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 155

She admitted these comforts would suit her particularly-

well ; whereupon I ventured so far as to propose having
the banns published ; but to that she demurred, saying there
was no hurry, and she preferred being her own mistress for
some time longer. The more, however, she insisted upon
delay, the more pressing I became.
One day, whilst ardently urging her to consent to our
immediate nuptials, I heard footsteps behind me ; a heavy
hand fell upon my shoulder, and a gruff voice enquired what
I was annoying the girl for. Alarmed, I turned round, and
beheld Studi's father. Staring me in the face, he exclaimed,
" Oh, schoolmaster, it is you, is it ? Well, I really did not
think you were such a simpleton as to suppose my daughter
would marry a man of your stamp ; no, young fellow ! you
better leave off such tomfoolery; otherwise you will be
pretty sure to come to grief."
This apostrophe completely unhinged me. I felt like a
dog that had been deluged by a pail of dirty water, and
slunk homewards much in the same way as such a half-
drowned cur would naturally do. It was not until I was
fairly under the shelter of my own roof that I began to
think I ought to have expostulated with the young lady's
father, urged my claims to her hand, pointed out to him
that I was a schoolmaster, and could make his daughter
amazingly comfortable. I was almost on the point of
running off to tell him all these fine things ; but on con
sideration thought that Studi would do that herself, con
soling myself meantime with the reflection that perhaps
next morning he would call, confess himself wrong, make
everything straight, and give me his daughter.
Under this impression I went to bed, and slept soundly
enough. On awaking, I was half afraid I had made myself
rather late for my interview with the farmer ; whereupon
getting up, I dressed myself quite in a flurry ; but I was in
very good time, for long after I finished my toilette, no one
had called. Noon arrived, still no one appeared. Evening
came, but brought not the expected visitor.
Unable to bear the suspense any longer, I hurried off to
the house of my anticipated bride, before dusk had com
pletely enveloped the village in darkness. Passing and
156 JOTS AND SORROWS

repassing the farm without heing taken any notice of, I

resolved to enter ; but when about to put this resolve into
execution, the farmer himself issued from a barn, where he
had probably been watching my movements all the time-.
He told me peremptorily that I must not enter his dwelling,
adding that he was not going to put up with any more
nonsense, he had had a great deal too much of it already.
This announcement staggered me a little. Nevertheless
I commenced my statement, which he cut extremely short
by informing me that if I stood palavering there any longer
he would let loose Schnautz the house-dog on me. Unfor
tunately I then expressed a wish to have a few minutes
conversation with his daughterin an instant Schnautz
came bounding over the door-wayI posted off in the
direction of the school-house as hard as my legs could carry
me, the barking of the dog and the laughter of its master
resounding through the air behind.
Not long after the fair Studi married a neighbouring
farmer.

CHAPTER XVII.
Whilst permitting myself thus to be hoodwinked, and
laughed at by the young women of the parish, I was
dreaming of land, cows, and abundance; but meantime con
trived to get myself plunged deep into a slough of debt.
Mayhap I am not the only one who has found himself poor
on awaking from dreams of imaginary wealth; nor am I the
only one who has become poor through indulging in antici
pations of riches.
It will be recollected, that I started housekeeping with
borrowed furniture and some eleemosynary gifts from the
villagers. I had up till then not the slightest idea of the
multiplicity of little articles that are absolutely necessary in
even a humble household. Every day made me aware
of something or other that not only I ought, but must
have, if I intended to keep house.
I had on the second day purchased an ounce of ground
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 1 57

coffee for one kreutzer, bought some lucifer matches, and

having received a supply of flour from the farmers, thought
I was finally provided for all contingencies. In my kitchen
were two cups, a coffee-pot, saucepan, two ladles, a water
pail, and a milk jug. I was, therefore, upon the whole,
much better provided than the individual referred to in a
certain national song, whose kitchen utensils are said to
have consisted of "an earthen pitcher and a glazed pot."
After having made my coffee and drank it, I nevertheless
discovered myself to be in a state of extreme perplexity ;
and though any housewife will readily guess the cause of
my embarrassment, it may be useful to young people about
to commence furnishing to state what it was.
On finishing my breakfast, I cast my eyes upon the
saucepan which was whitened with the milk, and then it
occurred to me that I had to wash up the things. I recol
lected that my mother used to have a dish clout stuck in
the coop which she took down and dashed about the
utensils inside and out. I was going to do likewise, when
all at once it flashed into my mind that I was not possessed
of the article in question. True, my shirts or pocket-
handkerchief would have answered very well; but I required
them for other purposes. Standing in the middle of my
kitchen, like butter in the sun, with the saucepan in my
hand, I twirled all my five fingers diligently round the inside
to get the milk off, bat my exertions were of no use, the
sides continued white. I tried swinging it round half full
of water; but that also was ineffectual. At length I caught
sight of some wood shavings: these, luckily, got me out of
the difficulty. I consequently resolved never afterwards to
be without a supply of that material.
After I scrubbed the things with the shavings, they had
to be dried, and I had, of course, no towel ; but this did
not cause me much uneasiness, as I argued it did not much
matter whether the dishes are dried or allowed to dry of
their own accord ; for, after all, the becoming dry is the
grand point. I gave the cups and saucers, however, a rub
with my coat flaps, and so long as we wear trowsers, one
need not be at a loss for something to wipe his hands on.
Another perplexity occurred when I was about to put on
158 JOTS AND SORROWS

my leather shoes, instead of the wooden ones I had hitherto

been wearing. During the whole course of my life I had
never put on leather shoes without a shoehorn, and there
was always one behind the stove of every dwelling I had
entered. I no more thought of a house being without a
shoehorn than of one being without a stove, which no one
thinks of carrying about with him when he changes his
lodgings. Running down to the schoolroom, I hoped to
find one there ; but no such thing was to be found, and I
only got out of this difficulty by going to a neighbour's in
my stocking soles, and putting my shoes on there.
Though I was often at my wits' end for lack of many
little articles required in a house, the suggestion that had
been made me to put up with every inconvenience at home
rather than board out was a very good one. Had I adopted
the other course, I should have had to pay all my salary
for my board, whereas the farmers and villagers at first
were extremely liberal. Presents showered in upon me,
and for a time at least I was almost stifled in abundance.
Following the advice of my worthy old patron, I had
bought a few dozen book-marks, most of them ornamented
with figures representing some Roman Catholic Saint, to
give the children when they brought me anything. These
things cost very little, yet they were surprisingly useful.
They pleased the children, who kept plaguing their parents
for something to take to schoolmaster to get a book-mark.
It was a grand boast amongst them to have most of these
decorations, they being regarded as marks of honourable
distinction. In the morning before school hours I was
usually occupied some time in accepting presents of bread,
milk, and apples. Most bread was brought about New-
Year ; cakes were common towards Lent, and I had gifts
of meat at the slaughtering season. Milk was almost a
daily tribute; I was often puzzled what to do with it,
having only a single jug to put it in ; sometimes the quantity
brought me was so large that all the utensils I possessed,
including the cups and saucers, were filled with it. The
bread also often got too stale to be eaten, and the sausages
became so musty that my house might have been smelt
twenty yards off.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 159

Not only the rich but the poor brought me articles of

food, often too with the excuse that mother would have
sent me something before, had she not been put about a
good deal herself lately. There were only two families in
the neighbourhood that had not sent me anything ; and
they, singularly enough, belonged to the wealthiest class. I
fancied they had some dislike to me, though I could not
make out how I had offended them ; evidently they did not
entertain a favourable opinion of me; their children were
the worst behaved in the school, and were more frequently
chastised than any of the others.
When I ran out of anything and went to buy a supply,
very often I got the article for nothing. Thus I went to a
farmer to buy some potatoes, and on offering him the money
for a basketful, he would not take it, saying that he
had plenty to spare, and when I wanted more I was quite
welcome to come and get them. So it was with the miller;
the grocer also, when I went to buy coffee, usually gave
me a larger quantity than he gave his ordinary customers.
For the first few months, my affairs in this way went on
flourishingly ; I had scarcely to make any outlay for food.
Still there were many things I required. I was anxious,
moreover, to pay the debt I owed my old patron ; besides,
I was tired of wearing my shirts outside in ; nor did it look
well to have one always drying on the hedge. For this
reason I was very careful in my expenditure, and tried to
increase my earnings. I had borrowed a loom, and as soon
as school was over set myself to work ; and thus, at all
events, contrived to find enough to supply my daily wants,
and leave a small surplus. At the close of the season,
after the children had been examined, I received my salary;
namely, thirty thalers, an amount of money which appeared
to me a mine of wealth, and which I counted and recounted
even during the night.
I now paid my debt to the old schoolmaster. The bed,
however, not being wanted, I still retained the use of. I
materially improved my wardrobe, and, in fact, did not
spare the money, thinking that with my salary and earnings
together, I might indulge myself freely, especially as most
articles of food cost me nothing. A looking-glass, and a
160 JOTS AND SORROWS

pretty handsome one too, was my first purchase; I could

not see myself to my heart's satisfaction in the window
panes. Smoking likewise I attacked in earnest, not that I
liked it, for it cost me many a struggle and a great deal of
inward convulsion before I could hold the pipe in my mouth
for a consecutive period; but the meerschaum, and the
free and easy posture of a profound smoker, pleased me ; a
man seemed to me much grander when, with a half choked
up pipe, he could draw the lungs out of his body and blow
out his cheeks like a steam boiler. I therefore commenced
buying and displaying tobacco pipes, which took a good
deal of the ready money out of my desk.
A watch had long been one of the objects of my ambition.
Next to smoking a majestic meerschaum, I had always
envied those who, stretching out their legs, pulled a watch
from their pockets and told you with dignity what o'clock
it was. I had hitherto not been able to obtain such a use
ful article ; but now 1 determined to buy one. A school
master, thought I, ought to know the time of day, and
where there is no steeple, he himself ought to officiate as a
church clock, just as he should represent the light of the
church itself when there is no clerical luminary near to
throw him into the shade. Having now money, I appeased
my heart's desire and bought me an old silver watch; but
it did not happen to be a very good one, and I had to resort
to my old expedients for measuring time. True, I had it
repaired, but that did little good ; I bartered it for another,
but got a worse, and one way or another I laid out as
much money upon it as might have bought an excellent
gold repeater. So it often is: when a man makes his
entrance into the world, he has to lay out a good deal of
money somehow in buying a little wit. >
In reading novels we meet with persons who contrive to
live at other people's expense ; they are known by very
distinguished names, being usually called Glucksritter.
These fortune-hunters gamble with fortune ; they borrow
money under any pretext, but never return it ; they smell
feasts at a distance, and, playing the parasite wherever
there is a chance, force themselves upon others by means
of flattery and boasting, dragging the substance out of their
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 161

victims without the slightest remorse. Though this kind

of creatures mostly infest the upper stratum of society, there
are some of them to he met with in fustian jackets.
Of course they have to practise their arts on novices and
yokels ; and the more bashful, timid or vain the victim is,
the more mercilessly is he plundered. I never imagined
myself to be sillier than my neighbours; yet I was some
times taken in by unscrupulous adventurers of the most
ordinary every-day description, and whom, from their
position, one might have expected to be possessed of more
honourable feeling. Many a rich farmer's son would be
ashamed to accept alms; yet, on the other hand, they
delight in inducing a poor devil to pay a bottle of wine for
them. Simpleton that I was, not knowing anything of the
manoeuvres of these gentry, I considered it a favour to lend
them money, pay a tavern bill, or do them a good turn m
any way. When any of them said, " Schoolmaster, you
pay for the wine, I shall hand you the amount another
time," feeling flattered, I at once drew out my purse,
sometimes even of my own accord, without being asked.
Often the well-to-do young scapegraces of the neighbour
hood would say, " Schoolmaster, some of us will come to
have a chat with you this evening; get us a draught of
wine, and we shall play for it." I therefore would send
one of the children for a supply of wine, and bread to eat
with it, and the young men, when they arrived, if they
smelt a sausage, would be sure to ask me to bring it out;
but I rarely or never got back any of the money I had laid
out on their account.
I was easily induced by pedlars to buy any sort of odd
thing, whether I was ever likely to want it or not. Once a
fellow came with an old clarionet, and telling me that it
would be very useful at a catechising class or an evening
meeting, that it would assist me a good deal, especially in
teaching singing, offered to show me how to set about
learning to play it, assuring me that 1 would soon manage
it, and that I could make progress day after day. He
highly praised the instrument, which he said had belonged
to some great nobleman, then played a tune upon it that
scared a stray rat so much as to cause it to upset my ink
162 JOTS AND SORROWS

bottle. I listened with childish pleasure to the tones,

thinking of the ears I should enchant, the hearts I should
soften, and the astonishment I should excite, if I could play
equally well, and the man assured me, that was a mere
matter of time and practice. I took the wonderful instru
ment into my hand, the man placing my fingers to suit his
fancy ; then I blew and a certain amount of noise was the
result. My prompter declared he had never met with any
one who blew so well the first time; he said, it was qui'e
marvellous. After this, you may be assured the rickety old
instrument did not leave my house again. In exchange for a
couple of thalers, I thought myself fortunate in obtaining
possession of the article.
Highly pleased with my new toy, I neglected the
weaving, and even the school, in trying to play upon it;
villanous tones vibrated through my house at all hours of
the day, and pretty well half the night, yet there were
people who could stand listening outside to the frightful
discord. It is said, there are persons born with a substance
resembling buffalo leather round their hearts ; may it not
be that others have a piece of rhinoceros hide in their ears ?
By dint of perseverance I managed to play one of the
common familiar airs, and then one of Gellert's hymns.
Proudly, but with a mysterious air, I announced in the
school that we were about to enter upon something new.
Sending one of the children for the clarionet, I gave out
the hymn in the usual way, sang the first verse ; next I
commenced blowing into the clarionet, with my head and
body stretched out, and keeping time with my feet, turning
round occasionally and placing the instrument first at the
ears of one and then another, to make them follow the
notes. The children were quite as much enchanted with
this proceeding as I was myself. Glowing with pleasure,
they exerted their tiny lungs to the utmost, in order to
raise them to the pitch of the clarionet. Altogether, we
managed to create a formidable uproar, and when the tune
was finished, the very walls seemed to tremble with the
noise. For some minutes we could not tell whether we
were standing on our heads or our heels, so terrific had
been the outburst. An old farmer, who happened to be
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 1G3

passing by, said he had never heard such powerful music

in his life : it had gone through him like an ice-wind, and
nearly knocked him down.
Not long after another pedlar came to me with a violin,
telling me that such an instrument was much more con
venient for a schoolmaster than a clarionet, inasmuch as
it would enable me to sing and play at the same time.
Moreover, it was easily learnt: all that was necessary
being to place the fingers on the right strings. It did not
require much persuasion to cheat me into a bargain, and,
in consideration of an outlay of three thalers, I became
the happy owner of a rudely constructed fiddle. The
practising now recommenced with redoubled energy, and
another description of sounds filled the house night and
day. The neighbours did not seem to dislike the fiddling;
but one of them came and asked me not to keep up the con
cert quite so late at night: he said his fowls did not relish it,
the cock commenced crowing about midnight and roused the
entire household out of their sleep. For the sake of peace
and quietness, I attended to this request, but thought it
hard that a schoolmaster should be compelled to accommo
date himself to the caprices of farm-yard poultry.
It appeared to have been trumpeted about amongst all
the pedlars in the Canton, that the Schoolmaster of
Schnabelweide was an amateur musician, and might be
easily led into buying an instrument. Hence all sorts of
things were brought me ; but luckily, as I had not quite
mastered the fiddle, I did not like to venture upon a trom
bone or the kettledrums. Having discovered this, the
dealers confined themselves to fiddles and clarionets. One
fellow offered to put in my possession a fiddle which had
not its equal in the whole world. Assuming a consequential
air he tried my instrument, said it was very good, but
requested me to try his and see how differently it sounded,
and how superior it was. He then narrated its history,
telling me it had astonished a great many people, who
thought they knew something about violins ; but they all
candidly admitted this one out-did them all: he named
large sums that he had several times refused for it ; but it
was not for sale then, nor was it exactly so now ; at that
164 JOYS AND SORROWS

time, however, he was rather short of money, and had

another of very excellent tone, and therefore did not
require them both ; besides which, his son was engaged in
an occupation that left him no time to study music. Others
came to me with similar instruments, and when they
talked thus, praising their own and mine too, it never
occurred to me not to believe them, particularly when they
said they could easily see I understood such things, adding
that it would break their hearts to part with their instru
ments to a bungler, and that it would be quite a misfortune
if they did not fall into my hands.
I had no idea that people could invent long stories
without a fraction of truth, that they could tell lies with
the most unblushing effrontery ; for at that time I had no
transactions with the gentlemen who deal in pigs and
other cattle. On the contrary, I felt quite proud at being
selected out of the multitude as the depository of musical
treasures that would be defiled by being put into the hands
of meaner individuals. It did my heart good to learn the
sellers had come from a great distance to place in my
custody, for a small sum, things that had a world-wide
celebrity ; and, as a matter of course, the further the
distance they said they had come, the prouder I felt ;
for it gave me to understand that I was known a great
way off. It did not strike me there might be a variety of
reasons for persons being spoken of beyond the limit of
their own village.
Since the pedlars told me I was a connoisseur, I pro
fessed to be one, keeping time with my head or feet,
though I knew nothing whatever about the tone of violins
or clarionets either; but believing all they said, the more
they talked of principles, conscience, and my skill, the more
readily they succeeded in inducing me to deal with them,
or rather, to speak more correctly, to be cheated by them.
Very far was I from thinking that these rogues knew very
well I was totally ignorant of everything I professed to
know, and much less was I aware, that, being a constant
subject of mirth amongst them and their friends, my fame
as a, simpleton was becoming proverbial throughout the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 165

My only consolation is, that I am not the only one who

has been deceived into the belief that he understood things
of which he was perfectly ignorant. The malady is
common enough, and is said to be most prevalent amongst
the higher classes of society. Perhaps there is not a
single individual on earth who does not pride himself on .
knowing something thoroughly that he' or Bhe is as
ignorant of as an ox of climate. It must be conceded at
the same time, that the more vain and empty-headed a
man is, the more prone he is to fancy himself wise as
regards men and things. I am not talking of connoisseur-
ship as regards the arts, but of connoisseurship in general.
Thus one wiseacre asserts, the schoolmaster does not
manage his school properly ; another, that the minister
does not throw enough of doctrine into his sermons ;
both agreeing that they themselves could do better than
either, whilst a third stoutly maintains that he is the very
keystone of civilisation ; and, to prove himself so, invents
words of seven syllables, and should that not produce the
desired effect resorts to cow-hides, riding-whips, lies, and
slander.
Meantime I got rid of all my ready money, but possessed
a choice assortment of violins and clarionets, which I had
been assured were of inestimable value. The pedlars had
told me I might make a great deal of money by them, and
I religiously believed it. When I showed the rubbish to
any one with a view of effecting a sale, he would perhaps
praise them, and say, that there was not a schoolmaster in
the republic who owned four violins and five clarionets ; but
no one offered to buy one of them.
At last a stranger called, and told me that neither
violins nor clarionets were the sort of thing for so talented
a person as myself, adding, that it was passing strange I
did not take up the organ. That, said he, is the proper
instrument for choral music, and, indeed, every other kind
of harmony : it was much grander than half a dozen
violins, besides being a great deal more profitable, for
many organists earned as much as ten thalers a-year for
merely playing at church on Sundays.
Here was a superb idea, and one that exactly suited my
1GG JOYS AND SORROWS

taste. I imagined myself sitting in church at my organ,

all the people gazing at me and whispering to each other,
" How charmingly that clever fellow touches the keys !
No doubt he is the Schoolmaster of Schnabelweide, who is
so favourably spoken of, and who is known to be a remark
ably expert musician !"
As if swayed by the magic wand of an enchanter, I
immediately took a dislike to my violins and clarionets.
The rogue, who was addressing me, probably read this in
my face, though he did not seem to notice it. People of
his stamp, who are manoeuvring to do a stroke of business,
must watch the faces and gestures of their customers,
veiling all the while their own ; nor does this remark
apply to wily pedlars : it is applicable to the high as well
as the low ; to those who are treating about the purchase
of a lordly estate as well as those who are haggling about
the price of a pig's trough ; to Louis Philippe negotiating
the marriage of his son with the Infanta of Spain as well
as the huckster professing to sell nostrums for curing the
heartache. Whoever can conceal his own object and guess
the other's aim wins the game. It is for this reason our
beloved Confederation cuts so sorry a figure in diplomacy.
With us every tailor or shoemaker, and especially every
member of a corporate body, no matter of what kind,
regards himself as the quintessence of wisdom, and con
siders that the Confederacy can only prosper if his par
ticular counsels are followed ; and many of them have the
power of causing themselves to be valued at their own
estimate.
In reply to the stranger, who spoke to me about the
organ, I began as usual with a little fencing, saying, that I
did not care to learn a new instrument ; that I had quite
enough on my hands already ; that I had my school-
business to attend to ; that, unless I could be always
practising, I could not learn ; and finally, I had no one to
teach me. All these objections the stranger overruled
the one after the other, not forgetting to allude pointedly
to my abilities, which he said were adapted to overcome
everything. Then he hinted broadly, that the wisest thing
I could do was to buy an organ : it would look uncom
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 167

monly well in the school-room, and prove a very superior

investment. I continued to hesitate, very much after the
fashion of a girl who is wishing with all her mind to say,
" Yes " to a proposal. Suggesting that it might he
difficult to meet with a suitable instrument, I added, that I
could not invest all my money in purchasing one (my
funds by this time amounted only to a few batzen), the
more so as I had already expended a considerable sum on
account of my musical predilections. He seemed to admit
these were serious obstacles, but, after reflecting for some
time, suddenly called to mind a person who had an organ,
and who might probably accept my violins and clarionets as
part payment, whereupon I said, that, in such a case, I
might probably take the thing into consideration.
Thus, the transaction having been adroitly broached, the
rest of the process of persuading me was easily accom
plished. My desire to obtain an organ grew every day
stronger and stronger, depriving me often of my night's
rest. The result was, that I obtained possession of one I
scarcely know how. The instrument was valued at a hun
dred thalers ; I gave up all my violins and clarionets, which
were valued at thirty thalers, agreeing to give the remain
ing seventy in cash, paying interest meantime till the whole
was cleared off.
Since my violins and clarionets had been estimated at
thirty thalers, and taken by the dealer on account for that
sum, I considered I had made a very fair profit on these
articles, being ignorant that the value of the organ was in
reality not more than fifty or sixty thalers at the utmost.
True, everybody told me it was wonderfully cheap at a
hundred, but very likely they said so, because I asked them
whether they did not think it a great bargain. If we wish
to ascertain the real opinion of persons regarding a pur
chase, we should put the question somewhat differently. I
have not the slightest doubt but that the people who pro
fessed to be astonished at the amazing cheapness of my
new toy laughingly said to each other, as soon as they got
twenty yards off, " Clearly our unfortunate friend Peter
has once more contrived to get himself pretty considerably
humbugged."
168 JOTS AND SORROWS

I had now incurred a debt of seventy thalers, which was

more than double my year's salary ; yet I burdened myself
with it cheerfully, under the impression that the organ
being worth more than the sum I owed, I possessed in it a
surplus of actual property. Nothing is easier than getting
into debt ; the pressure of the burden is only felt as time
proceeds, but then it becomes ever heavier and heavier.
Most people have experienced this at some period or other
of their lives ; and few there are who do not know, from
dearly bought experience, that borrowing rhymes with
sorrowing.
I now recommenced practising at a greater rate than
ever, with a view to qualify myself for the office of church,
organist ; and as the sound of this instrument did not wake
up my neighbour's poultry, I kept on through half the
night. By degrees, the weaving was entirely abandoned;
so I was earning nothing, and was greatly disquieted to
nd the presents from the villagers did not come in so
-abundantly as they used to do. I did not keep account-
books, neither did I weigh the articles as they were brought
in ; but I found I had occasionally to purchase pretty often
both milk and bread, which had rarely been the case before.
What was still worse, when I went to buy things, the
dealers never refused the money; on the contrary, some of
them began to make me pay more than their ordinary cus
tomers.
There were many reasons for the villagers relaxing in
their present-sending donations. At first, every one was
more or less desirous of cultivating the good opinion of
the new schoolmaster. Curiosity to see him in his own
house also weighed with some. Many a mother brought
me something herself that she might have sent by the
children, her object probably being to count my two cups
and saucers, and look about to see whether I really did
not possess a looking-glass. Her grown-up daughter would
also bring me something, for the same reason, and perhaps
with a desire to contemplate the schoolmaster at her ease.
These inducements fell away with time ; the villagers, as
they became familiar with me, became indifferent about my
comfort.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 100

One special reason for this falling off was, the fancy en
tertained by parents that their gifts would buy their children
off from their punishments, obtain for them more attention
than the others, induce me to hear more of their lessons,
and get them placed higher on the forms. It is scarcely
possible to imagine their anger when they found these
expectations had not been verifiedthat their Elizabeth or
Joggerly had got a sound whipping, and that they were
not at the top of the class on examination-day. I had then
to listen to observations that made me feel the reverse of
comfortable, I was not an old practitioner, but an honest
young beginner, and sinned, accordingly, most grievously
in my simplicity. Yet, I must admit, the peasants were not
worse in this respect than their betters. People who lay
claim to the highest amount of cultivation, disliking to see
their children far down on the forms, ascribe the cause to
the method of the teacher, whereas it more usually arose
from their home-training, or from a defect in the mental
capacity of the parents themselves.
Probably a still more cogent reason for the diminution
of the presents was, my hospitality to the young scape
graces of the village. When in the morning one of them at
breakfast made the remark, that he had eaten that same
sort of bread, and it came out that he had been at the
schoolmaster's, the thoughts of the old people may be
readily conceived. Naturally they would resolve not to
supply bread to allure their children away from home. If
that was the purpose it was applied to, they had much
better eat it themselves ; and if they did not want it, there
were other people by whom it might be eaten, besides the
dissipated young rakes of the neighbourhood.
But this was not the worst of it. These young idlers
would sometimes make remarks about the quality of the
articles they had partaken of at the schoolmaster's evening
parties. Hans Durs, they would say, had not spared the
rye-meal in his bread; Grichtssassi ought to have got up
earlier to bake hers, she seemed partial to lying in bed late ;
Kreuz Trini is very sparing of her bacon ; the sausages she
makes are as dry as birch-wood ; Brautwartsfrau did not
seem to have any money to buy pepper, her sausages tasted
170 JOYS AND SORROWS

of nothing but garlic. And so the conversation would go

on. To be talked of in this way about bread and sausages
she had given away in presents, was rather more than any
even tempered woman could bear. To bake good bread is
the housewife's highest pride ; and for this reason her hus
band is sometimes forced to lend a hand. It is, therefore,
regarded as an attack on her reputation to speak of it dis
paragingly, which I found out to my cost.
When I had thus got completely aground, a cart made
its appearance at my door. The driver told me he had been
sent by the farmer for the bed that had been lent me ; they
were building, and had to provide accommodation for a lot
of workmen. There being no help for it, I had to surrender
the piece of furniture in question, without knowing how to
replace it, and I could not sleep in my organ.
This might have opened my eyes, by showing me how a
man is destined to fare who lays out his money in luxuries
before securing necessaries, as also into what trouble he
may get himself by indulging in whims and making silly
calculations at hap-hazard. I ought to have got angry at
having placed myself in a position to have a borrowed bed
taken from under me, and being obliged to lie on the floor,
when I might have bought one for myself, and a handsome
one too, had I not thrown away my money on watches,
tobacco-pipes, and musical fancies.
Instead of regarding myself as a simpleton, I abused the
worthy people who had lent me the bed. Not content
with this, I ran to the house of one of the farmers, com
plained that a person who had lent me a bed had come
and taken it away, after allowing me to keep it for nearly
two years, and begged the housewife to lend me another.
The farmer and his wife were not stupid people. They
admitted I had been harshly treated by my other friends ;
but as regarded lending me a bed, they could not just then
undertake to do that; the cases were being washed, and
the feathers were being aired. Besides, were they in my
place, they would have one made for themselves ; no doubt
I intended to marry, and surely in that case I ought to
have a bed of my own. The cost I need not make myself
-**sy about; a wife with a handsome dowry would set all
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 171

that to rights, and I could not fail to get one. Meanwhile

I might sleep with Hans ; he had a bed all to himself, and
a very comfortable one it was.
All this was obvious enough. But not liking the idea of
sleeping with Hans, I ran helter-skelter to a merchant who
sold furniture. He told me he did not keep bedsteads
ready made; people sometimes wanted them of one fashion
and sometimes of another; consequently, it was of no use.
He could get one made for me, had ticking and feathers
to make the mattresses, bolsters, pillows, and other things
requisite. I had only to state the quality and quantity of
the material I should like.
Here was another riddle for me to solve, which, with all
my arithmetic, was far beyond my capacity. All I knew
about a bed, or the materials it is composed of, was, that it
is a piece of furniture used for sleeping in, and that it is
sometimes hard, and sometimes soft.
The trader and his wife, seeing at once the sort of person
they had to deal with, began to show me a number of
things, explaining how one person preferred this, another
that; how some took so much, and others a great deal
more. This bewildered me so much, that I left both choice
of quality and quantity to themselves. At the end there was
another perplexity; who was to sew up the things for me?
To this I could give no satisfactory answer; but the trader's
wife relieved me from my embarrassment, by saying she
knew a clever seamstress, who would see to that part of the
business. I thanked her for her kindness, and felt a load
removed from my own breast.
At last came the question of cost. With trembling lips,
I asked how much I would have to pay for the bed, their
kindness included. I began to fear, that, after the multi
plicity of things they had shown me, and others they had
spoken of, I should have something tremendous to disburse.
Nor was I mistaken. The amount they named was nearly
half the price of .my organ. With all my vanity and
golden dreams, I could not help looking very sheepish when
they reckoned up the prices of the various articles, and
could just muster voice enough to say, that I thought the
amount rather high, and to ask whether it could not be
172 JOTS AND SORROWS

done cheaper ? They told me I might have inferior ticking,

second-class feathers, and flimsy workmanship; but they
would not advise me to have them, for cheap things always
turned out the dearest in the end.
I had to submit, and, with a heavy heart, to confess that
I had no money just then, but offered to pay when I got
my salary. To this they had no kind of objection, said
they were in no hurry about the money, could wait till it
was convenient for me to settle, and so on.
Thus it always is. When a man enters office, no matter
how insignificant, and is supposed to be in a fixed position,
he has plenty of facilities thrown open for him to get into
debt; no one refuses to give him credit; and unless his own
good sense checks his extravagance he is irredeemably lost.
Sooner or later he gets into a fix ; then the whole of his
creditors pounce upon him at once, demanding their money ;
all have got bills to pay the day after to-morrow, and
cannot wait beyond that time; the miserable debtor is
driven into a corner, from which there is no possible
means of escape.
But not only do shopkeepers press their goods upon the
consumer, and entice him into debt; the shopkeeper himself
is equally subject to the infliction. There are constantly a
number of people flying about the country, often in elegant
vehicles, who, according to themselves, travel not for their
own, but for the good of the public in general. They
offer goods to the shopkeepers at what they call ruinously
low figures, and protest they are selling them merely to
make room for other articles of a fresh design or new
importation ; they are in no hurry for their money, no, not
they; they sell cheaper than their neighbours, and can
wait longer for their returns. The shopkeeper is thus
induced to lay in a larger stock than he is at all likely to
require, gives thoughtlessly a bill of exchange payable at a
fixed date, and is himself duly upset at the period stated on
the draft.
With a great deal of difficulty and vexation, I managed to
scrape together as much money as paid the seamstress. I
got considerably deeper into debt, but slept in a bed of my
own; and, I must admit, I felt very comfortable in it.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 173

Trying it behind and before, I felt it soft and agreeable in

all possible directions. In the morning I left it with the
greatest reluctance, kept thinking of it all day ; at night,
when I got into it again, as I had not then been discarded
by the fickle Studi, I dreamt of her, the organ, and the
cows. Nevertheless, I was shrouding myself in a maze of
difficulties, and, though I did not see the meshes then,
they were closing around me. I had knocked the ground
from under my feet, and, with my eyes open, had under-
mined myself morally as well as financially.

CHAPTER XVIIL
As I. have had occasion to remark two or three times
already, there are quite a number of people who know the
names of the virtues and vices, but who are either totally
ignorant of, or at least completely disregard, what they mean.
It seems to me, therefore, that a map of the heart is quite
as necessary as one of Spitzbergen. Some information
regarding the operation and development of the feelings
and passions would be equally, if not more, useful than dis
quisitions on the layers of strata, the composition of
primitive rocks, or even the distribution of the families of
Noah's three sons. A child in our schools is now made
familiar with everything visible or tangible ; girls are even
initiated into the mysteries of human anatomy ; but they
are not given the key to the working of their own thoughts.
That to them is a sealed book. The reason of this is, that
our modern philosophers know a great deal more about
the constitution of the earth than they do about their own,
and it is very difficult to give what we do not possess.
Unknown to myself, the aim of my heart had completely
changed. My early ambition had been to become an
eminent schoolmaster. Deluding myself into the belief
that this object had been nearly attained, my desires had
unconsciously assumed other directions. Not only did I
wish to be eminent, I longed now to be handsome and fas
cinating, to be merry and gay as well as wise, to be a man
of the world as well as a man of catechisms and hornbooks.
174 JOTS AND SORROWS

I was anxious to be highly esteemed by the old as well as

the young ; and, above all, I desired to possess a rich wife
with two cows.
These desires were partly in accordance with my early
aspirations, and partly opposed to them ; but the only path
open for an honest man to obtain eminence and wealth I
did not pursue. Following the dictates of my inclination,
I fancied by that means I would reach the much wished
for goal more easily than by self-denial and plodding
industry. I was consequently preparing for myself a heavy
burden of disappointment. The path of duty is perfectly
straight and level; it makes no bends either to the right
or to the left, and being visible a long way before, we never
seem to be getting onwards, with all our trouble and steadi
ness ; therefore we start off on some side path or short-cut,
andgo astray.
The first winter I went on extremely well, attending
diligently to my school-business. I found time to do a
little weaving. Always first in the school-room, I never,
in the midst of all my whims, fancied I could teaoh more
in one hour than another could do in two, nor that, if I
commenced school at ten I could get over as much ground
as those who opened at half-past nine. At the examina
tion, the minister declared himself content, only observing
that the children were scarcely quiet enough, and that
they had very few writing copies to exhibit. As, however,
the members of the committee announced themselves per
fectly satisfied, saying that children were children, and not
always easily managed, the clerical censure did not make
my hair turn gray.
Gradually other things began, one after the other, to
absorb my attention. Bit by bit my soul was alienated
from the school-room, till at last nothing was left there but
my body. The tobacco pipes and watches were the first
things that took my thoughts captive. I was constantly
thinking of a great bargain in meerschaums. Whilst
hearing a child spell, I allowed the mistakes to pass
unnoticed, because it occurred to me that my last new pipe
had got choked up, or that my watch had ceased going,
^he musical instruments afterwards assumed a still greater
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 175

hold of my mind. Often I mentally hummed a tune on

the clarionet at the time I was supposed to be hearing the
children read. Next came the attractions of social life:
then I could think of nothing but bright eyes and a rich
wife. Taking no longer any interest in the progress of
the children, and losing all pleasure in being amongst
them, the school hours seemed to drag along with intoler
able tardiness ; and I continued impatient and restless till
posted in the neighbourhood of some favourite window, or
till I was deeply immersed in some evening carouse.
It makes a world-wide difference whether one conse
crates mind and body to a pursuit, or the body alone.
Take the common artizan, and let him engage with delight
and heartfelt pleasure in shoeing a horse or in mending a
rail : the work will be done much more neatly and more
durably than if it had been done merely to earn the three
or four batzens that he received in payment. Observe a
servant girl who is tending a garden evidently interested in
what she is doing, and another who is dragging through
her work impatient for the striking of the evening bell : see
how much more richly the plants and flowers blossom
under the cheerful tending of the one, than the mere
manual labour of the other. If you wish to observe these
effects still more plainly, contemplate a painting that has
issued from the easel of one known to have loved his art,
and compare it with the varnished painting-brush work of
the copyist : in the one, the inert canvas seems to meet
your gaze, talks to you, the spirit of the artist has been
transferred into the painting; it Jives there in a kind of
ever-waking life that charms and delights the beholder;
very different it is with the copy: there nothing meets your
eye but tints and pigments, it may be very agreeable to look
at, and the things it represents may be accurately drawn ;
but it hangs like other leathern and wooden things without
awakening a sense of animation in the breast of the gazer.
It may therefore easily be imagined how things go on in
a school when the teacher's wits are away wool-gathering
amongst other things whilst he is mechanically hearing the
children their lessons. Schoolmasters are apt to forget,
that by neglecting to keep their bodies vigorous and their
17G JOYS AND SORROWS

minds active, hundreds of children lose the benefit of a day-

given them for their improvement by a beneficent Creator.
It ought to sear the conscience of a man, if he has one, to
know that, for the sake of a night's revelry, he has caused
a hundred children to lose a day. There are nights enough
in which a schoolmaster, without faults, has to pass sleep
less, when, with aching limbs and heavy eyes, he cannot do
his duty properly next day. In these cases, the children
must lose a day, because the master has lost a night; but
then no blame lies at his door, and he will not be called to
account for such shortcomings. Ought he not then to be
extremely cautious how he passes the nights that are under
his own control, and so to avoid causing the pupils to
nudge each other, and say, " Schoolmaster looks very wild
to-day?"
I exercised no kind of caution, nor was I even aware of
the necessity for self-control. Things did not therefore go
on well in the school. The children began to entertain
less and less esteem for me, or, as their parents said, they
began to fear me less. There was consequently no con
fidence, no attachment, and no obedience. Children have
an instinct of their own, that tells them clearly enough
whether or not the schoolmaster has their interest at heart,
and whether he is anxious for their progress. When they
find he is regardless or indolent, a kind of aversion grows
upon them; they involuntarily feel their welfare is being
neglected, and they look upon him with feelings either of
hostility or indifference.
The children were estranged from me, not only bymy incon
sistent behaviour and carelessness in school, but also by my
conduct out of doors. They saw me at evening meetings
playing the fool, and witnessed my being made an object of
merriment by others. I was accustomed to say to any of
them I happened to come across under such circumstances,
"Mind, there is nothing of the schoolmaster here; I have
left him locked up at home ; therefore you need not be
afraid of him now." But this only lowered me in their
respect. They also heard their parents say, that they did
not approve of the way I went on, and that for a school
master I carried things a little too far; sometimes they
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 177

even asked the children, when they knew I had been to

some evening merry meeting, how I looked, and whether I
did not fall asleep in the schoolroom.
At the next examination the minister censured me rather
sharply, and dropped some pretty severe sarcasms on my
love of outdoor gaiety. An old committee-man also hinted
that things were not as they ought to be; but all the others
remained silent. This, instead of convincing me I had
been acting injudiciously, threw me into a rage. Being
thoroughly blind to my transgressions, I considered I was
more entitled to praise than blame, and complained from
house to house of the wrong that had been done me,
alluding, at the same time, to the obstinacy of some of the
children and the negligence of their parents. Every one
said I was right, and, perhaps, found fault with their own
children, saying they had become of late very disobedient.
Meanwhile, though they thus confirmed me in all my
goings on, they criticised and laughed at me, and that too
in presence of their children.
It was when in this excited frame of mind that my
absurd adventure with Studi occurred. The affair did not,
however, tend in the slightest degree to reduce me to
reason : it only made me more savage. A few years pre
viously, such an incident would have, for a time at least,
completely humbled my pride, and probably cast me down
into the lowest depths of despair. Now it only inspired
me with an additional amount of wrongheadedness, and it
is, indeed, marvellous how a mind, even though weak, may
be changed in a brief interval of time. Far from being
ashamed of the ludicrous termination of my suit, I related
willingly the entire details to any one who would take the
trouble to listen to them, taking care to abuse Studi's
father and the young lady herself in pretty round terms,
declaring that both of them one day would rue the slight
they had inflicted upon me. Most of the villagers took a
delight in hearing me repeat the story. Some of the
young women ventured a little flirtation with me in order
to obtain a full, true and particular account of the trans
action, probably with a view to have a good laugh over it
With their companions. Had I not been regarded as a sort
178 JOTS AND SORROWS
of privileged simpleton, the peasants would no doubt have
pointed out to me the real views they entertained on such
subjects ; but, as it was, they considered that by doing so
they would very likely do me very little good and spoil
their own fun.
I was determined to prove to Studi she was not the
only well-to-do young lady in the neighbourhood, and that
all of them did not view a schoolmaster in the same light
she had done. When one is bent on marrying and is not
encumbered with an over-sensitive heart, refusals only
increase his eagerness ; besides which, my debts had now
begun to oppress me ; and, as a means of paying them, I
had reckoned on a rich wife instead of my own industry
and frugality. I, therefore, set vigorously to work in
paying my addresses to the daughter of another of the
wealthy farmers, when an incident occurred that brought
this suit also abruptly to a close.
Amongst, the inhabitants of the village there was a
middle-aged widow, somewhere between forty and fifty,
but in a very good state of preservation and rather attrac
tive in her looks. She had a daughter about half her own
age ; but who, in all other respects, resembled her. Rent
ing a small cottage in an out of the way part of the
village, they cultivated a little plot of ground, but lived
ostensibly by selling yarn and twist at the neighbouring ;
markets and fairs. They seemed to have a good many
acquaintances of some kind or other; but they did hot
bear a good character amongst the villagers, who had very
little intercourse with them. If by chance any of the
married men happened to chat or talk with yarn-Lizzy,
as the widow was called and it came to the ears of his
wife, a week's curtain lectures would be the result, and he
might consider himself lucky if he got off with that. The
young men used to joke each other a good deal about the
daughter ; but as the two women had no children to send
to school, I had not spoken a dozen words to either of
them. The widow by some means or other was thoroughly
familiar with every thing that transpired in the neighbour
hood, and no doubt knew very well what had passed
between myself and Studi, as well as that there was no
 OF A. SCHOOLMASTER. 179

very large amount of brains under the crown of my hat,

that I was anxious to get married, that I was not likely to
succeed with any of the well-to-do young women of the
place, and that I was tormented with a load of debt. On
passing my house when I happened to be standing at the
door, she began to throw out signals of friendship by
making a jocular remark ; and one day stopping, said
there was something she might as well ask me about.
Having some yarn she wanted woven into cloth, and
having heard I was a very superior hand at weaving, she
wanted to know whether I would undertake the job,
adding that there were few weavers she could trust, but
knew she could put confidence in me. This flattery grati
fied me, and being anxious to earn a little money promised
to take her. yarn in hand as soon as I finished the piece
that was then on my loom.
The widow called several times to enquire whether I was
ready for the yarn ; and when I told her I could commence
operations, she brought it to me herself; but all this time
she had neither spoken of her daughter nor invited me to
her cottage. One evening, some time after I had set to
work on her yarn, she entered my weaving shed to see
how I was getting on. There she marvelled at the progress
I had made, and the texture of the weft. Then seating
herself she commenced chatting away about things in
general, apparently without any particular aim. Amongst
other matters she expressed her surprise that I did not
weave on my own account, buying the yarn and selling the
cloth, which would yield me a larger profit. She had
thought of doing so at one time herself, for she understood
the trade very well ; but a couple of lone women could do
very little by themselves, though she did not lack funds,
having saved a little money, and was quite as well off as
some of the neighbouring farmers who held their heads
very high. She did not like to have anything to do with
weavers, who were a class of persons all very well in their
way, but required a man to manage them ; whereas, if she
were to meet with an industrious clever partner, she could
undertake to find all the capital that might be required.
Having said this, changing the topic, she began to talk
180 JOTS AND SORROWS

about the villagers in general, and myself in particular,

from which I saw she was pretty well acquainted with all
that was going on around. At last, after excusing herself
for having bothered me with her chatter, and hoping I
would not take anything she said amiss, she went away,
leaving the hints she had thrown out to ferment at their
leisure in my head.
About a week after this the daughter called, brought her
mother's compliments and some yarn I might want ; she had
been so busy lately she could not call herself. The young
woman gave me a friendly glance or two, and stayed just
long enough to make me regret her departure, and when
she left her mother's hints and herself became curiously
intertwined in my thoughts. Neither of them called for
some time after this. One day, the mother looked in ;
but happening to be in a great hurry, and having no time
to stay, invited me to come and see them, and to bring the
cloth any evening after it was finished.
The two women till now had acted very prudently and
very cautiously. The whole affair as yet had merely the
aspect of business ; still I could not help feeling somewhat
ashamed at being mixed up with the widow and her
daughter, knowing them to be regarded as outcasts by the
entire community ; already several scornful allusions had
been made to them in my presence, which were no doubt
designed as warnings for me to take care what I was
about.
Before I had quite finished the work the mother came
in, and saying she had some fresh yarn to show me, asked
une to call that evening at her cottage. I promised to do
:so, and went. It did not strike me there could be the
: slightest harm in this ; but I was grievously mistaken. I
'had been deliberately watched both entering and quitting
the cottage. Next day the whole village was occupied in
'discussing my visit, upon which all sorts of scandalous
misconstructions were put, and in due course it reached the
ears of the minister. The latter, as well as the majority
of the villagers, agreed that 1 had disgraced them as well
as myself, although all the time I was perfectly conscious
that I had really done nothing morally deserving censure.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 181

I received a summons to wait upon the minister, who

read me a severe lecture, pointing out that the particular
error which had brought down upon my head the anger of
the people was only one of a series of wilful transgressions.
Feeling that my position was no longer tenable, I offered to
resign. My resignation was accepted conditionally that
is to say, I was to continue in office till the next examina
tion. I had, therefore, to remain at my post all through
the winter, during which period I was as wretched as any
unfortunate being could well be, whom common consent
has branded as a criminal.

CHAPTER XIX.
I had now once more to mingle my daily avocations witr
searching the newspapers for advertisements of vacant
schools. Only those at a distance being at all likely to suit
me, I had to pass a good many of them over; for where
my story was known it would be useless for me to appear
at an examination, and, even though I did succeed in getting
a school in the vicinity, it would be much better, I thought,
to go far enough off to leave my old repute behind and
try to gain one of better odour. At last an advertisement
announcing the school at Gytiwyl to be vacant fixed my
attention.
The village in question lies in the heart of an agricultural
section of the canton, the neighbourhood being remarkable
for the fineness and abundance of its clover. Potatoes also
grow luxuriantly, and there are extensive fields of rye and
other grain surrounded by forests of beech and oak. The
houses, though large and strongly built, are mostly thatched
with straw, and before each of them stands the ubiquitous
dunghill, which appears to be regarded in the district as
indispensable to a well ordered family mansion. But here
they are larger, smoother, and far more imposing than in
most other parts of the country. The only dilapidated
structure in the village was the school-house. It had no
dunghill ; but it also wanted most of the roof, the rafters
182 JOVS AND SORROWS

peeping through the thatch, tags of which hung in festoons

over the eaves ; the out-house, paved with loam, was full
of holes ; the garden hedge partially broken down, and the
round blind windows every here and there mended with
leaves of copy-books. The land attached to the school
consisted of two patches, one in a morassy part of the
common, the other in a forest clearing, almost buried in
the shade of the trees.
The examination came on, and I presented myself with
three other candidates for the office. The minister and
the school-commissary duly appeared to examine us; but
none of the committee-men were forthcoming. The two
officials, after waiting a short time, becoming impatient,
despatched messengers in search of the court-assessor, the
amman, and the prebendary, without whom the examina
tion would be incomplete.
The assessor sent word he could not attend, as he had
to do some work in the fields, but would endeavour to be
present in the afternoon. The amman's wife sent word
her husband had gone to the smithy, having forgotten all
about the examination, but would attend in the evening.
The prebendary sent his kindest greetings, wished the
gentlemen a very good day, but having to plough in the
forenoon, and sow in the afternoon, he could not come,
therefore left the affair entirely in the hands of his reverence
and the commissary.
Under these circumstances, it was resolved to go on
with the examination without the committee. It presented
nothing remarkable, except that one of the candidates
could not read. He was an elderly man with a coppery
face, who had never kept school, but fancied he had a call
for the profession. The commissary asked him how he
could think of teaching others when he could not read
himself? He said he knew the alphabet very well, and
the rest he could learn from the older children. Whether
he did afterwards acquire the art of reading or not, I
cannot say ; but a schoolmaster he became very shortly
after.
Of all the four candidates I was unquestionably in most
of the subjects by far the best; but I knew there were
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 183

other things to be considered as well as my qualifications.

I was, therefore, by no means certain of obtaining the
appointment, even though superior to my competitors.
When the examination was over, we were told to step out.
By this time some of the missing committee-men had made
their appearance, and, the window being opened, we over
heard the conversation that was being carried on inside.
The school-commissary commenced by expressing his
regret that not abler candidates had come forward, remark
ing, it appeared no member of their own community
seemed desirous of the place. " There is a very good
reason for that," suggested the minister ; " neither salary
nor house are very alluring"; adding that of the four
candidates that had appeared, he thought Kaiser the best
qualified.
The amman, who appeared a little nettled at the minister's
observation, said, "if none of their own people had thought
of becoming schoolmaster, it was because all of them had
something better to do. He had no preference as regarded
the four candidates: any of them would suit; for, after all,
a schoolmaster was neither more nor less than a school
master. The assessor also hinted sarcastically that they had
always found some one glad enough to get the school-
house and salary such as they were. He agreed, however,
in the minister's selection, the more so that they did not
want a schoolmaster with a troop of children who were
always at their doors.
The school-commissary also confirmed the minister's
choice, and, as regards the other point under discussion,
said the late schoolmaster's goats would have been frozen
to death had he not lodged them in the school-house ; he,
therefore, urged that some repairs be done. The assessor
replied that was a matter for the consideration of the rate
payers : they had to earn a living out of doors, whilst the
schoolmaster was not exposed to the wind and weather.
He was not aware that children were taught more in a new
house than an old one. As for the goats, it was the first
time he had heard of them : the schoolmaster had better
not keep any, and then there would be no complaint oa
that score. The commissary then dropped the subject,
and I was declared the most eligible candidate.
184 JOfS AND SORROWS

The minister, in giving me a kind hint that in all pro

bability my election would be confirmed, supposed the
committee would have my things fetched if I respectfully
requested them to do so. This hint I thought it might be
as well not to neglect. So I broached the subject at once
by saying to the amman that as there was some probability
of my being appointed schoolmaster, would he be kind
enough to have my things sent for. To this he replied,
fetching my things was no affair of his, he had no children
to send to school, and referred me to the assessor. In
answer to my question, the latter said, he could not promise
just then to send for my things, he had a great deal of
other parish work to attend to; the people were giving
him a good deal of trouble ; but after my election he would
see what could be done, and I might then renew my
application.
Leaving matters in this state, I trotted off home the
same evening, as no one offered me a night's lodging, and
I did not feel disposed to lay out any money. I had now
almost certainly obtained another school, and could conse
quently escape from the fiery furnace in which I had been
latterly frying and roasting. But yet I felt most strangely
in my mind. I did not by any means rejoice heartily.
The thought of leaving was pleasing enough ; still, to have
been completely happy, my new appointment must have
inspired me with some hope, which, however, it did not,
and I was half inclined to fear I would be no great gainer
by the change. I had seen enough of the people to per
ceive they were a purse proud set, and that I would be
contemned by every one who had a kreutzer more than
myself.
Thus joy I felt none. The prospect before me was the
reverse of bright : all was gloom and uncertainty, my
future path was shrouded in heavy mists that made me
even sad. As the night advanced and the stars sparkled
brightly, another kind of feeling came over me. Resolving
to renounce all ambitious projects, I determined to perform
the duties of my office quietly and steadily, neither to be
offended by good advice nor haughty arrogance, not to
expect gratitude, nor to be surprised at ingratitude, to
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 185

submit patiently to mortification, and to employ my time in

unassuming labour. But unfortunately with weak minds,
and many strong ones, it is a great deal easier to form
good resolutions than to carry them into practical exe
cution.
I had now to put my affairs in order, a labour of no
mean magnitude, when the disorder into which they had
fallen is taken into consideration. By dint of hard work
and extreme frugality, I was enabled to clear off the whole
of my small encumbrances and the greater part of the sum
I owed for my bed: but the organ, now my sole friend and
comforter, I could not pay for, neither could I muster
courage enough to part with it ; I had therefore to com
pound with the dealer, who knew very well that in the
canton of Berne 1 could not run away with such a piece of
goods. He did not ask for his property back, though he
noticed that I was anxious to keep it ; but professing to be
woefully short of ready money, said he knew lots of people
who would purchase the organ, had even a mind to make
use of it himself, and by such logic got me to pay a pretty
round sum for delay. I had now only the balance of the
bed debt to make up, and there were several odd debts
owing to myself; but my debtors had no end of excuses to
make when I asked them for the money, and none of my
creditors would accept the debts owing to me in part pay
ment. The dealer and his wife from whom I had the bed
were not positively rude, but regretted the hard times, had
met with several losses of late, could not wait, had no
reason to trust people at a distance, but consented, after a
deal of trouble and chaffering, to take the amount still due
to them out in weaving. They knew well enough that a
person in my condition was not likely to make off with a
bundle of yarn. I delivered the cloth to them at the time
and place they had appointed ; but the surplus wages pay
able to me on account of the work I never could obtain.
I had been duly appointed to the school at Gytiwyl, and
the time arrived for me to make my appearance there, and
renew my application for a waggon to remove my furniture.
The place was a six hours' walk distant, and I thought that
instead of walking there and back, I would make my
186 JOTS AND SORROWS

application in writing. Accordingly I wrote to the assessor

politely requesting him to send me three horses on a fixed
day, congratulating myself on having managed the matter
so cleverly, and feeling thankful that a twelve hours'
journey could be saved by scholarship and a small fee to
the carrier. The day I had named for the arrival of the
waggon came, but it passed away without the appearance
of any sign from Gytiwyl ; a week followed, and still no
one came. It was now time to bestir myself; so I hastened
off to the village. There I encountered only sour looks;
my letter had been received, but they did not choose to be
written to, and ordered about ; I could not have been
more peremptory, they said, if I had been a general com
manding an array.
I had to call upon the authorities personally, supplica-
tingly beseech them, and wait patiently for their gracious
reply. By this means I induced them to consent to furnish
a waggon with three horses, and, also to name a day when
it would be placed at my disposal, instead of merely saying,
as they had done hitherto, they would send one when it
was convenient. Meanwhile I had to permit myself to be
questioned and gazed at. One farmer's wife gave me
something to eat, and even a glass of cherry- brandy, but
not without an equivalent. She asked me a number of
questions that brought the perspiration to my brow,
examining me much more searchingly than the school-com
missary. She seemed, however, satisfied with my replies,
and finally permitted me to depart.
I returned to my old home to wait the arrival of the
waggon, which in a few days was to come for my goods
and chattels. One forenoon I observed most of the
villagers standing at their doors, and on carrying my
observations a little further noticed a tall slender man in
dark clothes, who had a smartly dressed female leaning on
his arm. He went to one of the houses, and the people
asked him to enter. After the lapse of about half an hour
he came out, and going to another house was again invited
inside. It then occurred to me that I had been treated in
the same way when I first came to inspect the school,- and
that consequently this was the new schoolmaster. I must
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 187

confess it rather pained me to behold my successor, and to

see him made so much of whilst I was still a sojourner
in the land. I fancied the things he would be told about
me, and also the compliments that would be paid to him
self. Supposing that he would come to inspect the
schoolhouse, I felt half inclined to take myself ofF some
where, so as not to meet him. On second thoughts I took
courage and remained, chiefly because it would be a subject
of laughter for the villagers if they detected me running
away. At the same time a sort of mischievous pleasure
rose within me when I thought how unlikely it was that
the people would ever meet with any one who could please
them in all respects. I almost pitied a man destined to
earn his living amongst such a set of practical jokers, and
half-resolved to give him a hint of the trials he had to
encounter. On the other hand, I thought it would be but
fair to myself to allow him to undergo the same ordeals
and permit him unwarned to run his chance of falling into
the same snares.
Whilst debating how to act towards him, he arrived
with his wife or intended, I could not make out which.
They very soon decided the footing we were to hold with
regard to each other. Making an effort to seem hospitable,
I invited them to sit down and partake of some refresh
ment. They at once declined, and as it seemed to me
somewhat uncourteously, saying they had no time, had
eaten a great deal too much already, had promised to call
here, there, and everywhere, on their way back. The lady,
who seemed a remarkably affected person, declared the
villagers to be quite a delightful class of persons : it was
highly gratifying to have one's lot cast amongst people so
agreeable and so strikingly intelligent. Her companion
chimed in, pronounced the peasantry to be specially kind
and affable, adding, that he felt confident he could accom
plish very great things amongst them. "Very good,"
thought I, " then I will leave you to accomplish your task
at your leisure, and to retain the good opinion you have
formed of the villagers till you find out your mistake."
Therefore, instead of cautioning them, I appeared to assent
to what they said.
188 JOTS AND SORROWS

They both professed themselves pleased with the little

they saw of the schoolhouse. But, the schoolroom did
not come up to the lady's expectations. She told her
companion he should have it altered, it was too this, too
that, and too the other. I laughed in my sleeve when I
thought of the grimace the farmers would make when they
were asked to alter and amend the premises.
Some copy-books that had been left behind gave the
gentlemen an opportunity of remarking how beautifully his
pupils wrote ; he had not yet ventured to tell the people
he was going to leave ; they would be extremely sorry ;
there would be a terrible to do when they were informed
of it ; he scarcely dared to think of the regret that would
arise. He made no enquiries as to the school business or
the progress of the children: all that he was supposed to
have learnt by intuiton ; he had no occasion to be told
what he knew accurately beforehand. His whole demean
our seemed to say, " Aye, just look at me, I am a very
different sort of a person from what I hear you are ; you
have been fiddling and fifing the time away, but, I shall
make Schnabelweide a Utopia, and the school a sort of
sublunary paradise." On leaving he did not condescend
to bid me good bye, walking away without uttering a
word.
The couple stopped at the first house they came to, after
leaving mine, and I could see there was a great deal of
laughter and gesticulation going on, which I inferred for
the most part concerned myself. " Ah well," thought I,
" let them have their joke ; they will be laughing at the
other side of their mouths bye and bye ; stop a bit till
they get thoroughly disgusted with each other, which will
not be very long. Then the villagers will say to one
another, we should gladly give something handsome to
get rid of these impertinent people and have Kaiser back
again." These notions of mine were afterwards consider
ably strengthened, when next day I was told sneeringly
that things would take a better turn now, and that the
people were fortunate in having fallen in with such an
excellent person as my successor.
The relation in which the new schoolmaster and myself
 ok a schoolmaster: 169
stood to each other is unfortunately a very common one.
Far from regarding each other as friends and brothers,
members of the same profession, feelings of hostility and
ill-will had arisen between us. He, the successor, spoke
slightingly of me and my work, endeavouring to exhalt
himself by lowering me. All his efforts were directed to
wards proving himself infinitely my superior, and he
sought for esteem, even at the risk of exciting expecta
tions that could never be realised. I, the predecessor,
looked with envy and a feeling closely verging on malice
upon the person who was received well by those who had
treated me so unworthily. I trusted that all his exertions
to retain the good-will of the parents would be in vain,
and that he would signally fail either in improving the
children or in acquiring their attachment.
Such, alas ! are the feelings entertained by Christian
schoolmasters of Christian schools towards each other, and
it is to be feared that predecessors and successors in other
professions are equally wanting in Christian Charity.
Though I had secured a new school, and was tolerably
at rest as regards my debts, I was still far from being
altogether easy in mind. I did not dare to tell the
authorities of my new school the true cause of my leaving
the old one ; for, though I had done nothing wrong, still
to be accused of a scandalous thing always leaves a taint
even on the most irreproachable. I was consequently in
terror, lest some of the Gytiwylers should meet some of
the Schnabelweiders, and that the two should compare
notes, as regards my sayings and doings. I, therefore,
took every imaginable precaution I could think of to
prevent them coming in contact. In order that the
waggoner who came for my things might not be led to
visit the tavern, I had laid in a supply of food and drink
for man and beast, and managed matters so well that he
did not exchange a single word with anybody in the
village.
I had previously bidden all who still professed friendship
for me good bye, and, I must say their conduct towards
me after I left was highly honourable to them, and that,
instead of referring to my misdeeds, they invariably spoke
190 JOTS AND SORROWS

well of me. There could scarcely be a better proof than

this that they were worthy people at bottom, and that I
would have found them so had I known how to conduct
myself towards them, and been able to prevent myself
being misled by their apparent concurrence in my own
folly. On quitting the village with the waggon, any of
them I met gave me a kind word or a friendly nod, and
when I offered my hand to the old farmer who had first
cautioned me, " Peter," said he, " had you placed confi
dence in those who meant you well, you would have
spared yourself no end of mortification. I am sorry for
you and ourselves, for latterly you have shewn that you are
capable of better things. Continue in the same prudent
line of conduct, and you may be yet a happy if not a
prosperous man."
Besides the driver, the waggon was accompanied by a
man to assist in loading and unloading, and both were
under the direction of a farmer's son, who had been de
puted to look after the whole affair. I had, consequently,
three persons to entertain on the road ; and, as they were
constantly thirsty, the conveyance of my furniture drew
very heavily on my slender finances. The stoppages at the
inns also made it very late before we arrived at the end of
our journey, and we had to unload by lantern light. The
organ gave us an immense deal of trouble. It was too
large for the schoolroom door ; indeed, the room itself was
not more than seven feet high. We had, therefore, either
to dismantle the instrument, or enlarge the entrance. At
last we managed to get it within doors. The other things
were then pitched into the house higgledy-piggledy ; and
the farmer's son, whose heart the wine had warmed up a
little, invited me to pass the first night at his father's
house.
Next morning I set about putting things in order. This
gave me a little more trouble than it did a few years ago,
when I first commenced housekeeping, for now I had a
considerably larger number of odds and ends to arrange ;
and it is quite surprising what an immense quantity of
articles time and a little outlay accumulates about one.
Moreover, the house was much smaller than my former
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 191

one ;the schoolroom I found would accommodate about

150 children, though there would be only about a square
foot for each if all attended at any one time. But that was
not likely. The stove, a formidable looking structure, had,
in some places, been almost ground through by the children
whetting their slate pencils. The house, consisting of one
room and a kitchen, was a very inconvenient affair. There
being no weaving shed, I had to place my loom in along
side my bed, and these pieces of furniture nearly filled up
the entire space ; so that I had the greatest possible diffi
culty in stowing away my table and three wooden chairs.
At every step I ran risk of breaking my legs, by stumbling
into the holes of the flooring. In the kitchen, which was
paved with clay, the holes were deep enough to have served
for cisterns.
These defects made my heart heavy. I had not noticed
them at first, for a bachelor has no eyes for such matters,
and only finds them out when he runs his nose against
them. Nevertheless, ruinous and uncomfortable as the
place was, the thought " better here than there," reconciled
me to all its manifold inconveniences.

CHAPTER XX.
The remark of the minister of my old parish, that people
thought a school was like a beggar's coat, which one might
either begin mending behind or before, now occurred to my
recollection ; and, I thought, the wisest thing I could do
would be to call upon the clergyman who, at the examina
tion, had shown himself to be a courteous kindly sort 01
man, that took an interest in the schools. The former
schoolmaster was dead ; but, even had he been alive, the
information I could have obtained from him would not have
been so useful as that of an unbiassed impartial third person.
The clergyman lived about half a league away, and I set
off one evening to pay him a visit. Going along, I met the
amman and another man issuing from the forest with their
axes on their shoulders, seemingly on their way home from
a wood-cutting expedition. I told the former where I was
192 JOTS AND SORROWS

going, which made him look rather grim. " If," said he,
" you are a tell-tale, and spy of the clergy, like the former
schoolmaster, you will find out that it will not improve
your position in the village. We pay the salary, not the
minister ; and it is, of course, to us you must look for your
instructions." I made an excuse something like that
William Tell made to Gessler, when he said, "It is a way
with schoolmasters." "Ah! very well," replied the amman.
" Go; hut take care what you are about."
This the first admonition I had received since I took
possession of my new appointment, was not very promising,
and somewhat thoughtful I arrived at the minister's house.
The parsonage looked cheerful amidst its screen of leafy
trees. As I approached, the minister greeted me kindly
across the garden wall. He was occupied gathering anken
pears. All his sacks were full ; and he was waiting for his
son, whom he had sent into the house with a basketful,
expecting he would return immediately with the empty
hamper. But he might have waited a good while longer
in vain, for the little fellow was snugly ensconced in a
neighbouring plum tree, having forgotten all about papa
and the pears. When his reverence had disposed of the
fruit, he led me to his room, and we sat down amicably
together.
I observed that he was a man still in the prime of life,
scarcely forty years of age ; that he was very active in all
his movementsthat his very expressive features were
rather pleasing. It was not long before I concluded he
was one of those men, who, endowed with a fluency of
language, are irresistibly impelled to make use of the
faculty. This propensity, no doubt, has some advantages ;
but it likewise has many disadvantages. It does not per
mit us to hear what others think and intend ; whereas, it
makes known our thoughts and intentions, often inoppor
tunely, to others.
He began the conversation by saying, that he was very
glad to find that I had called on him, for it showed that I
did not fancy I was not in want of counsel. He then
informed me, that he made a point of acquainting the new
schoolmasters with the class of people amongst whom tbey
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 103

were to cast their lot ; for he had found this saved them a
great deal of trouble and vexation, though it brought upon
his own shoulders much annoyance. " There are two ways,"
he continued, "of inducing a man to open his mouth. The
first, by gaining his esteem ; and the second, by exciting
his anger. When, for example, the villagers, for some
reason or other of their own, begin to flatter a new school
master by abusing the old one, he naturally thinks them
very agreeable and intelligent, and at an unguarded
moment exclaims Ah ! how surprised I am ; the
minister told me you were rude, ignorant and haughty,
whereas I find you quite the reverse. On the other hand,
when he is provoked to anger by the same persons, he
shouts outAh ! that is just exactly what I expected ; the
minister enlightened me as to your character, which is
known, fur and wide, to be excessively vile. In either case,
you see," he went on, " my words recoil upon myself.
That does not, however, deter me from giving advice. No
amount of personal inconvenience will ever prevent me
from doing what I consider to be my duty. Still, I hope,
schoolmaster," he added, " you will not abuse the con
fidence I am about to repose in you."
As a matter of course, I assured him that I was totally
incapable of betraying a trust reposed in me ; whereupon
he spoke as follows :
" You are aware, schoolmaster, that in our country the
protestant clergymen are expected to minister rather to the
material than the spiritual wants of their flocks. Well,
when first I came amongst the Gytiwylers, I looked about,
and, seeing the land only partially cultivated, antiquated-
implements in use, and a wasteful system of tillage, thought
I had fallen upon a field of labour in which my services
might be extremely beneficial. The soil was fertile, the
proprietors wealthy, the public burdens light. There was
nothing to prevent the necessary improvements being
carried out. The people, moreover, seemed intelligent, and
I took them all to be sensible, keen-witted kleinjoggs ;
therefore the obvious defects in their mode of husbandry,
I fancied, would be corrected as soon as they were pointed
o
194 JOTS AND SORROWS

out. But I thought it prudent to begin by calling atten

tion to only one of the more prominent amongst them.
Noticing that some of the proprietors had patches of
land in one place and others a good way off, I suggested
the propriety of their exchanging lots with each other, so
that all might have their property in one piece. To effect
this, I offered to measure their fields, and otherwise assist
them in rendering their farms more convenient, and so
economise for themselves a large expenditure of time and
labour. On my making this suggestion, they stared at me
with large eyes, and, as I thought, concurred devoutly in
my proposal ; but they made no reply. When I pressed
them impatiently to consent to have the improvement
effected at once, one of them said' Look here, Mr.
Minister ; you had better not worry us with things of tbat
sort. It will not do any manner of good. People who
write and preach on farming, know nothing at all about the
matter. We understand our own affairs a great deal better
than they do.'
" I saw that talking would be useless ; so I determined
to try the effect of ocular demonstration. Turning
farmer myself, I adopted the modern methods of cropping,
manuring, sinking ponds, draining, and so on, showing
them the advantages resulting from these operations. They
gazed at me, grinned, but did nothing ; and as I had to
hire labourers, having little time to do any of the work
myself, my agricultural operations did net pay ; so I had to
give them up, to avoid ruining myself. Out of all the
improvements I showed them, one only they adopted, that
was to, dig deeper cesspools for the house-sewage, and
empty them more frequently; all the others went for
nothing.
- " Next I tried another means of inducing them to
manage their affairs more rationally. I recommended them
in my sermons to use better-made ploughs, and pursue a
better system of drainage. I also lent them, books treating
on agricultural subjects. Some took the latter, but returned
them unread ; others told me flatly they had no time for
reading, because during the day they had to work, during
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 105

the night to sleep, and on Sundays the Bible afforded them

all the reading they required. None of them manifested
the slightest desire to receive instruction ; they were all
perfectly satisfied with what they knew, and had no wish
to learn more. A man that was supposed to know more
than his neighbours did not rise in their estimation, unless
he happened at the same time to possess more land, more
cattle, a finer team, or a larger dunghill. They came to
church on Sunday regularly enough, sat listening very
sedately, but were not in the slightest degree moved by
anything I said, unless it was something personal concern
ing themselves. They paid their tithes willingly, and
punctually attended the services at God's house, in order
that He might not withhold from them rain and sunshine,
each at the proper season.
" Finding that the old were entirely impracticable, I
turned my attention to the young, hoping that I might be
able to instil into their minds the germs of future progress.
The late schoolmaster, your predecessora spirited, active,
outspoken man had just been installed in office. He
entered heart and soul into all my plans, and thus consented
to entail upon himself a large amount of extra labour. His
salary being miserably small, I offered to assist him in
obtaining an increase. The school-house also being incon
venient and ruinous, we both arrived at the conclusion
that before much good could be done with the children, it
would have to be rebuilt and enlarged ; besides, there were
no reading books, no black boards, no writing implements,
the children themselves finding all their own school neces
saries. The schoolmaster and I therefore applied to the
community for the means of properly instructing their
children, which, being rich enough, they might, without
inconvenience to themselves, easily supply. What we
asked for was undoubtedly needed ; and we thought that
no one of the heritors could raise any reasonable objection
to accede to our demands.
" We had, however, reckoned without our host, and had
deliberately, with our eyes open, thrust our hands into a
wasps' nest. At first the people smiled, thinking we were
only joking; but when they found we were really in earnest,
196 JOYS AND SORROWS

and actually expected them to comply with our demands,

they all blazed up into a perfect paroxysm of fury, refusing
point blank to vote a single kreutzer for any such purposes.
Yet some of the people made no scruple to lay out sixty or
a hundred thalers for a dress for one of their daughters,
merely as a matter of display. They told us they had to
work hard, and would not impoverish themselves in having
their children taught useless knowledge; they had never
yet seen any good come out of learning, and, as a proof of
this, referred to schoolmasters in general, defying us to
point out a more hungry, half-starved crew than they
were.
" On the other hand, they asserted that all sorts of
honours, even judgeships, were conferred, not on educated
men, but on persons possessed of wealththat their sons
got rich wives, and their daughters wealthy husbands,
though they could neither read nor write. In such cases
the question was, not What education do you possess? hut
How many thousand florins have you in your money-box?
What are your liabilities, and what are your assets? They,
therefore, thought it the very height of absurdity to lay
out money on schooling that yielded no profit; in fact,
almost thought they would get en very well if there were
no schoolmaster at all in the parish.
" These remarks were, of course, a great deal more
irritating to the schoolmaster than they were to me. He
could not submit quietly to the insults heaped, if not upon
himself, at least upon his occupation. He retorted upon the
heritors, styling them a set of thick-headed dunces. The
consequence was, that having brought upon himself the
ill-will of the parents, he could do little good with the
childrennone of them liked him. Encountering hostility
both within and without the school-room, he became con
sumptive, contracted a fever, and died.
" Though the people have never insulted me personally,
nor done anything that I can regard as disrespectful, they
do not pay the slightest attention to what I say, and when
I ask any of them to do anything, am always met with the
same curt refusal, ' No, I shan't.' I can do nothing with
such a cold-hearted unreasoning multitude. I know of no
 OF A SCHOOLMASTKR. 197

means of making them tractable, and however much I

should like to aid yourself, I fear it will be totally out of
my power; for, were I to take any steps in your favour, it
would turn the whole parish against you. It is as well
that you should know this, in order that you may not mis-
interpret me, and exhaust yourself in making vain efforts
to move the people. The best advice that I can give you
is, to do your duty quietly, and to avoid making yourself
prominent in any way; to do the best you can to make
both ends meet with your humble salary, and to avoid
troubling any of the villagers. If anything can gain for you
the esteem of the people, it is their observing that you are
industrious and frugal. They have a hundred times more
respect for a good manager than for a good schoolmaster.
" In the school, as in most others, the chief thing is
learning by rote ; but your predecessor carried the point,
that not only the wealthy should learn writing, but all who
wished to do so. The strictest discipline has always been
exacted; but latterly, perhaps, there was over much seve
rity, owing to the constant state of irritability in which the
late schoolmaster was kept ; and I think now, if you mingle
a little kindness with the use of the rod, you will get on
tolerably well with the children.
" Be careful, however, not to say anything in their pre
sence that can be construed into an attack on their parents.
Of a whipping they will not complain, because they are all
accustomed to that; but if you have uttered anything cal
culated to be disagreeable to the old people, that will be
carried home, along with the details of the chastisement;
the two things will be coupled together, and you may
safely rely on a storm."
His reverence concluded by saying, " I would not have
told you all these things unless I meant you well, and un
less I thought you deserving of my confidence. We are
both engaged in the same kind of work, therefore let us
pull as much as possible together. I am always pleased
when a schoolmaster calls upon me, because it is an indi
cation that he is bent on doing his duty. Some of them
call upon me to pick up a few remarks, that they may
report them to the peasants ; others come to lodge com
198 JOYS AND SORROWS

plaints with me, but are unwilling to listen to my advice ;

others, again, to excuse their own stupidities by saying
that they had been to the minister, and that he had told
them to act as they had done. These kind of people, that
speak me fair when face to face, but join the peasants in
sneering at me behind my back, are soon found out, and I
leave them to their own resources, to sink or swim as best
they can."
I thanked his reverence heartily for the information he
had given me, told him I should be glad to second his
efforts in enlightening the people, and we parted the best
of friends. I bent my steps homewards, pondering over
the things I had just heard.
It is not, however, advisable for persons passing through
a district they are unacquainted with, to become deeply
immersed in meditation, particularly at night and in the
midst of an autumnal fog. After walking a considerable
distance, I came upon a wooden bridge, the uneven and
rickety planks of which I had not crossed on my way to
the minister's. The neighbourhood, as far as I could dis
cern it through the darkness and the fog, was totally un
known to me, and there was no trace of a village anywhere
to be seen. Stars there were none in the heavens, as we
are accustomed to say, owing to our habit of questioning
the existence of things we do not see.
Clearly enough, I had taken a wrong path, and in what
direction to turn I knew not. Listening, I heard a sound
that made me somewhat nervous; it was that of a low con
tinuous whistling, such as I had heard say robbers use in
making signals to each other. That there were such cha
racters about the country was tolerably certain ; they had
been known to attack travellers, though they rarely molested
the peasantry, and I thought I was now in the vicinity of a
gang ; but on listening more attentively, the sounds grew
so soft and plaintive, that I at length concluded they did
not emanate from the human mouth, but were those of a
flute, which, though I had never heard played, I had often
heard spoken of. It did not occur to me that such an in
strument might be used to decoy unwary wayfarers ; so my
terror departed, and I softly groped my way forward to the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 199

place whence the sounds proceeded, which was either within

or on the verge of a bushy wood that loomed darkly in
front.
After moving some way, I entered the forest, and could
now distinctly make out the tune, which was, " Up, com
rades, to horse, to horse ! " but as yet I saw no player,
though I felt he could not be far off. The sounds seemed
sometimes to issue from the ground, at others from the air,
as if they were the voice of the mist, which now rested like
a heavy mantle on the earth, and would probably remain
so till the morning sun caused it to ascend, and hover over
land and sea in the form of a grey cloud. I was beginning
to feel somewhat uneasy again, on account of the mysterious
ubiquity of the sounds, when I stumbled upon what was
evidently a garden enclosure. I judged that where there
was a garden, there would, in all probability, be a house ;
and such was the case, though I could not discern it for
some little time. Being white, and not very large, it
looked, through the mist and obscurity, like the ghost of a
cottage.
All alarm now vanished ; for, not only could I hear the
flute, but also a voice accompanying it, singing the same
air, and merry people were always associated in my mind
with gleeful music and song. Instead of knocking at the
door and asking my way, I took a fancy perhaps more from
habit than any other impulse to raise my voice and join in
the chorus of the tune. The music and the singing
instantly stopped ; a shutter was thrown violently open, a
shaggy head thrust out, and a gruff voice with a foreign
accent asked what ass was braying there ?
The tone and words of this question took me so much
by surprise, that I did not immediately reply, and it was not
till the strange voice added: "Be off, or I will come out
and pitch you head-foremost into the horse-pond," that I
stammered out, " I was sorry for disturbing the household,
only that, hearing music, I thought there was a merry
making of some kind going on inside, adding that I was a
stranger and had lost my way." I had then to declare who
I was, where I had been, and where I was going. After I
had replied to all these questions, a short conversation
200 JOYS AND SOKKOWS

ensued within in a language I did not comprehend : the

man who had first spoken, then, closing the shutter, said he
would come and show me the way.
The door was opened, and a lofty but haggard-looking-
man issued from the cottage ; his body, composed of bone
and sinew, was firmly knit and wiry ; under a large nose
there was a formidable moustache ; his face, lean and bony
like his body, was dark, as was also his hair ; what he wore
on his head I could not make out ; but he had on a short
jacket, wide trowsers, and in his hand he carried a cudgel
with which he might easily have felled an ox.
I started back and trembled when I beheld this ferocious-
looking apparition, whereupon he said laughingly, '' Aye,
you may well be afraid, many a different sort of fellow
from you has eyed me with fear ; and hark you, school
master," he added, " another time when you enter the
forest be a little more careful, and do not sing without
-invitation before people's houses : there are such things as
fire-arms in the canton, and you might get peppered."
Saying this, he desired me to follow, which I did, humbly
protesting that I merely sang by way of announcing myself
jocularly to what I considered the merrymakers in the
cottage.
" Very likely," he rejoined growlingly ; '' I do not think
there are a sillier class of people in the world than school
masters ; tailors usually think themselves wittier than other
people, playing the fool and buffoon on all occasions ; but,
I think, after all, in point of real, downright unmistakable
stupidity, they are outdone by schoolmasters. These last
are by far the most disgusting tribe I have ever had any
thing to do with, for fleas and lice are fortunately only
known to me by report."
To this unmerciful attack on my profession, I meekly
suggested, that, though there might be vile schoolmasters,
surely there might be some decent men amongst them.
As for myself, I added, I was only a young beginner and
could not arrogate to myself the title of being a full-blown
schoolmaster; but that I intended to do my duty to the
best of my abilities, and that, after all, I thought my
calling as reputable as that of a good many others.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 201

" Well," rejoined my mustachoed friend, laughing,

" there may be something in that last remark of yours : all
professions are not regarded by every one in the same
light ; but your calling, what is it ? To deprive children
of their common sense and rob their parents; that is what
your calling is. You, I have no doubt, will be able, as you
say, to accomplish that much, or at least you will endeavour
to do so ; but if you fail or prove unsuccessful, the people
will be all the better for it. If there were fewer school
masters, there would be fewer starvelings ; and if there
were no schools, there would be less ignorance." He
could not comprehend how any man who had a healthy
drop of blood in his veins could be a schoolmaster : he
only who loved boasting of something that was worse
than nothing, or who preferred idleness to hard work, be
came a schoolmaster. " Now, is not that the fact, school-
masterkin ?"
Hereupon I began to defend my profession once more ;
but he cut me short, and, interrogating me after the fashion,
of a criminal judge, I had to tell the truth, whether I
would or not ; nor did he permit me to pass over anything
as immaterial, but kept me sharply and severely in a line
as the husbandman does the plough. I had to confess how
it was I had become a schoolmaster, how villanously I had
been treated at home, how I had run away from the
paternal oppression with a terrible malediction on my head,
and how no one, save an old schoolmaster, had the
slightest commiseration for me.
After I had, in answer to his questions, told him all this,
he suddenly became silent, and stalked along wildly with
his long legs, but so rapidly that I could scarcely keep up
with him. At last, pointing to a house a little way off, he
said, " Now, there is Gytiwyl ; you are an unfortunate out
cast like myself: should you lose your way again, apply
to me, I may perhaps be able to set you to lights Good
night."
Saying this, he vanished in the fog.
202 JOTS AND SORROWS

CHAPTER XXI.
I began to feel somewhat anxious, as the time for opening
school drew near. I knew very well that even a very
talented person might not give satisfaction. Success in a
schoolmaster often depends less upon his acquirements
than upon his ability to exact obedience and command
respect. I was not, however, then aware that my scholar
ship was of a very low order, and that my system of
teaching was the merest bungling. It was some consider
able time before these facts dawned upon my mind ; other
wise, the approach of opening day might have caused me
a still greater degree of anxiety.
At this period, I considered my duties as a school
master to consist in simply hearing the children their
reading or spelling lessons one after the other ; and, after
that, in saying to the privileged class, you may go to your
copy-books now, and to the others, you are to learn so and
so. Diligence consisted in doing all this rapidly, going
over all the children if the number were large, and hearing
the lessons a second time if the number were small. I
could not comprehend how a schoolmaster could be
expected to teach all the children writing and arithmetic.
Somebody, indeed, had suggested the plan of making
them all read in chorus, by which means, of course, only
a short time was required for this branch. This was
thought to be a discovery beyond which there was no room
for improvement, and that the millennium would soon
follow; but the din, created by a hundred children reading
at the same instant, was too much for ears of flesh and
blood, so that the absurdity had to be abandoned. The
method of dividing the children into classes, and devoting
a fixed period of time to each subject, which would have
rendered many things easy that, judging by the old system,
seemed impossible, had not as yet become known to me;
nor was I more ignorant in this respect than most of my
neighbours.
Though I did not believe that a hundred and fifty children
could be taught reading, writing, and arithmetic together,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 203

I felt no uneasiness as to my qualifications ; but there were

other things to disturb my self-satisfaction, and I awoke on
the first school-day morning with a beating heart, which
did not cease when I beheld the children arrive, and had
to enter the school-room. There were not many scholars
the first day ; but I felt no inclination to laugh or joke
with them. On the contrary, I was grave and gentle. The
children eyed me sharply, but made no other demonstration,
and, on the whole, the first forenoon's schooling went off
without a hitch. When I sat down to my dinner of pota
toes and milk, I would have given my ears to have been a
mouse, so that I might listen at the village dinner tables,
and hear what the children said about me. In the evening
also, I would gladly have called at some of the houses and
learnt what conclusion the parents had arrived at regard
ing me ; but not having been invited by any one, I had to
stay at home and fancy what the villagers were saying.
The school children being the only human beings I had
any intercourse with, the school hours became to me
periods of recreation, and I began to regard each child as
a friend whose presence cheered me. As they found I
took pleasure in their society, they became fond of mine.
After a few days had passed away, those who had come
first were scarcely ever absent, and when it did chance
they stayed away, they would excuse themselves by saying
that father or mother having something for them to do
prevented them coming. Yet, in spite of all this, I knew
they were trying to find out the weak points of my cha
racter, and also that they were desirous of acting rather in
accordance with their own inclinations, than in obedience
to my instructions. That I had observed this was a great
point ; and I did not allow these symptoms of insubordi
nation to pass unnoticed: a slight hint that they were
detected, availed at first; a sharp reproof had to follow,
then an appeal to their sense of duty. Perhaps I dwelt
rather long on this topic. It is very silly on the part of a
schoolmaster to resort to long lectures : they only make
himself bitter and weary the children. A word of command
or a brief expostulation penetrates, whilst a sermon runs
off like rain from the roof.
204 JOTS AND SORROWS

One day that there happened to be no threshing going

on, some of the bigger boys and lads had agreed amongst
themselves to pay a visit to the school, probably with a
view to see what the master was like, and find out how far
they might plague him with impunity. When half a dozen
grown lads of this description, each of whom is able to
carry a sack of flour, enter a school, they rarely use much
ceremony. On this occasion, the door flew open with a
bounce, they entered helter skelter, sat down, began tearing
the books from each other's hands, and joking aloud. I
was struck dumb with surprise, coughed, cried hisht ! and
at last roared out, silence ! As they kept on talking, I
began to preach about bad boys disturbing school, and
assured them I would not put up with it. This made them
laugh outright, whispering at the same time something
into each other's ears. I had now become angry, and,
taking up the ruler, attempted to hit the hand of one who
appeared the ringleader; but, as he resisted, I gave him a
thwack on the arm. Two or three of them tried to wrest
the ruler out of my hand ; hut I laid it about me so
vigorously, that one after the other was forced to
desist ; I thumped away at them till my own arm was
quite sore ; but quiet was restored; and, so far as I know,
not a soul found fault with the proceeding.
In the matter of caning, it is a wise plan to make an
example of the biggest of those that are unruly or trouble
some, and to avoid as much as possible venting one's dis
pleasure on the smaller children; for, nine cases in ten, if
the eldest are made quiet, the point is gained. I have no
doubt, that if these big boys had got the upper hand of me,
the parents would only have laughed and jokingly boasted
that the lads had shown the new schoolmaster what they
were made of. As it was, I had come out of the affair
victoriously ; the lads returned home with aching backs
and sore shoulders. The people admitted I had done the
right thing at the right time, and only wondered how I
had had the courage and strength to do it; they would
not have thought I could have displayed so much energy
judging from my appearance. I do not of course approve
of corporal punishment when it can be judiciously avoided ;
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 205

but in this instance the chastisement I administered to

these great boys had a very salutary effect. Still, as the
number of the children increased, there was a great deal
too much noise in the school. The children usually obeyed
me when I called them directly to be silent; but the
instant I turned my back, the hubbub became as loud as
ever. I mentioned this one day when I paid a visit to the
minister, whereupon he gave me the following very useful
advice.
" A teacher who desires to rule a school properly, espe
cially a large one, must make his presence felt throughout
the entire room : the children must be made conscious
that he is constantly observing and watching everything,
just as if he had no back behind which they could disport
themselves unperceived : they must be brought to the
conviction that, whilst the master is listening to one he is
hearing them all, and that he both hears and sees whilst
he himself is speaking. This ought not to be brought
about by running backwards and forwards : it should be
effected quietly by means of the voice and the eye alone
without any apparent effort. Children comprehend a
decided firm mien, holding it in the utmost respect ; and,
until such method of management is acquired, a school
cannot assume an orderly appearance.
" There is nothing more beautiful," continued my reverend
adviser, "than to behold ateacher presiding with unshakeable
calmness over his pupils, as if he were the soul animating
them all, present everywhere, but nowhere seeming to
intrude. Yet this is rare. Many teachers have no con
ception of omnipresence ; they are not aware of its neces
sity, and even are ignorant of the possibility of hearing
and seeing at the same time, or that it is practicable to
attend to the lessons and maintain order simultaneously.
Generally, three-fourths of the schoolroom are as if out of
the teacher's sight, and the children in the belief they may
do what they please. When matters become too bad, the
teacher commands silence, and there is a temporary cessa
tion of the disorder ; but it is soon resumed. In hundreds
of schools the master's commands are only obeyed so long
as his words continue ringing in the ears. Now," remarked
206 JOTS AND SORROWS

his reverence, in conclusion, " your school is like most

others in this respect; you can only maintain order in the
corner you happen to he, but not throughout the room.
Yet this can be done. It may be difficult at first, but like
everything else may be acquired by practice and per
severance."
I adopted the minister's advice and made an effort to
overawe the noisy portion of my pupils with a look, as
he had told me. I did not succeed in the two or three
first attempts, particularly when I had to speak. Gradually,
however, it became evident that the system was beginning
to tell, for a greater degree of order prevailed than here
tofore. There were fewer naughty tricks played, and the
necessity for punishment became less imperative. I was
greatly benefited by the change myself, because I had
fewer causes of irritation to make me cross, and the good
feeling existing between myself and the children increased.
As may readily be supposed, I had much less trouble
with the girls than the boys. The latter are wilder, more
boisterous and more thoughtless. Girls have generally
more delicacy of feeling, are more considerate, and less
disposed to mischief, though perhaps governesses and
schoolmistresses may not always find it so. Girls no doubt
entertain a greater dread of a man than a woman, and are
more careful not to offend him. This seems to be an
instinct that grows up with them from their earliest child
hood: a man is coupled in their minds with strength and
power, and when this virility is combined with dignity,
energy, and is perfectly free from affectation, respect and
attachment are generated, particularly when some degree
of gentleness is manifested. All schoolmasters agree in
stating that girls do not give them half so much trouble as
boys ; always maidenly, of their own accord they dislike to
cause annoyance, and a serious word with them falls on
impressionable ground. As regards myself, it is just
possible that my meek melancholy manner excited their
compassion, most observers asserting that such a frame of
mind in a man has a special attraction for women, instinct
leading them to assume the office of comforters.
Be this as it may, most of the school girls evinced a
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 207

desire not only to be obedient as regarded their lessons, but

to oblige me in any way they could think of. Observing
that cleaning out the school-room gave me some trouble, I
was very soon relieved of that item of drudgery: they
would even get quarrelling amongst themselves as to whose
turn it was to do the place up, and they went about the
work with an alacrity that probably they very rarely dis
played at home.
The girls who undertook to clean the school-room, had
to come some time before the hour of opening. On a par
ticular morning, I noticed one of them walking about with
her hand in her pocket. At last she pulled out a very
pretty yellow apple with rosy cheeks, one of the finest I
had ever seen. " Schoolmaster," said she, somewhat
diffidently, " will you have an apple ?" " I replied, rather
gruffly perhaps, that I did not want her apple, and she had
better keep it for herself." Looking vexed, she raised her
bright black eyes supplicatingly, and said, "Do have it,
schoolmaster, it is a very nice one." I could not resist
the second appeal, though I knew very well the poor girl
would have no apple to eat that forenoon herself; never
theless she seemed happier and more cheerful than I had
ever seen her before, a gratified smile kept playing about
her features all day long, which singularity strongly attracted
my attention. What, thought I, could be passing in that
girl's mind before she gave me the apple, and what after ?
This much is certain, that, through the gift and its accept
ance, the young person in question afterwards became my
Eve.
The day of examination, an event important to the
children as well as the schoolmaster, now approached.
The former naturally have a desire to display what they
have learned, which desire obtains additional zest from the
dread they feel lest they should break down. A pity it is
that this anxiety did not spring from holier impulses !
Would that the children, when removed from the school
room to every- day life, still continued anxious, and regarded
each day as one of examination in the face of heaven !
How glorious it would be, if every child knew that each
day of its life is a period of examination, and that all
208 JOYS AND SORROWS

knowledge avails little, unless it leads us to obey the com

mands and humble ourselves before our great Master !
Such, however, is not the case. As soon as the children
leave the school, they become so absorbed in the business
and pleasures of life, that they think not of the great day
when they are to appear before the Divine judgment-seat,
and their conduct, it is to be feared, will not always bear
the rigid scrutiny it must then undergo.
The chief attraction examination-day has for the boys,
probably, consists in their anticipations of the bright batzens
they are to receive as a prize. The girls rejoice in the
prospect of donning their white sleeves, and of appearing
like birds in the summer sunshine. But it is not so with
all. At every examination, there is to be seen here and
there a pale downcast-looking girl in a worn-out jacket.
These poor children have no bleached chemisette, and no
white sleeves to display : they sorrowfully try to hide their
arms in their miserable garment, and thus they sit -dolefully
amongst the others rustling with an ample supply of starched
linen. There is no joy in these little hearts; timidity lurks
in their melancholy eyes, and the batzen alone casts a shade
of pleasure over their wan features.
On schoolmasters, the day of examination has much the
same effect as it has upon the little girls with the shabby
dresses. They have also often to take delight in paltry
things, greater ones not being vouchsafed to them. No
one takes the slightest notice of his exertions in the school,
the examiners being bent rather on finding out omissions
than discovering the progress that has been effected. The
schoolmaster endeavours to make a fair show of what has
been done ; but the things he deems important appear
trifling to all but himself. The village authorities stretch
their legs out widely, the Amman yawns stealthily, and,
gradually losing patience, wriggles towards the minister
and whispers in his ear, " We have had enough now; just
get him to come to a conclusion." Now and then an
encouraging word is dropped when a specimen of penman
ship slightly better than the others is displayed ; but, if the
father is present, he is congratulated, not the schoolmaster
who brought out the latent talent. If, at the termination
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 209

of the examination, the teacher is told that the examiners

are not ill pleased with the' children, that they have not
done hadly ; hut, perhaps, it would have heen an advantage
if their reading had been more fluent, and that in consider
ation of the general proficiency a gratuity would be voted
him towards lighting and heating the school-room, though
the committee were in no way bound to do so ; if, 1 say, he
is told this much, he has great reason to be thankful.
At the first examination at Gytiwyl, I had not even that
satisfaction. The minister, who meant me no harm, but
who, perhaps, was really anxious to ascertain what the
children had actually learned, spoiled, so far as I was con
cerned, the whole affair. When the children began to
repeat what they had learned by heart, he ordered them to
put the books out of their hands, and hide them under the
tables. He said he did not like the system of peeping
into the books when they were repeating lessons from
memory: it reminded him too much of a clergyman who,
with a written sermon before him, kept looking into it and
out of it like a goose drinking water ; besides, the lesson
was not learned by heart if they had to have recourse to
the book at every moment This was all very true; but
my scholars having been always accustomed to hold their
books in repeating their lessons, not knowing what to do
with their hands, were completely put out, and the repeating,
on which I had calculated largely, came to a complete stand
still.
The construing, however, went off better even than I
had expected. The children managed to go through the
who's, to whom's, and what's, very glibely. The pre
bendary remarked, that it was marvellous the novelties that
were invented in school teaching : in his younger years the
children learned their prayers, which they rattled off like
spinning wheels ; yet they made very good managers and
householders for all that, perhaps even better than those
who had their heads filled with modern knick-knacks.
Whilst the children were stating the who's and to whom's
of the words " Cedars of Lebanon," my marplot friend
the minister stepped forward and asked them what a cedar
was ? This question was followed by a dead silence. " Is
210 JOYS AND BORROWS

it a man or an animal ?" he enquired. This time one of the

children boldly replied " an animal." " Very good," said
the minister; " is it a four-footed or a creeping animal ?"
"A four-footed one." "A donkey or an ox?" "A
donkey," was the prompt rejoinder. " Now then," con
tinued his reverence, " is Lebanon a tree or a bird ?" " A
tree," cried several. " Is it a fir or plum tree ?" " A
plum tree." " No," he said gravely, " you are all wrong :
cedars are not four-footed animals, they are trees, and
Lebanon is a place where they grow very abundantly."
He then censured the children pretty smartly for saying
things were what they were not. But how could they
know any better ? I had not told them what cedars of
Lebanon were, and who else could have told them ? The
Amman remarked that for his part, he did not know what
cedars of Lebanon were any more than the children; he
had never thought of troubling his head about such things ;
that sort of wisdom answered no good purpose; it only
made the children inquisitive and forward, so that one was
at a loss what to do with them ; so long as they could
say their prayers and repeat their catechism, he was per
fectly satisfied.
The Amman's excuse for the children's ignorance was
not, however, very complimentary to me, particularly as I
thought I had turned them out all but perfect. It is true,
the minister told me at the end of the examination, that he
was perfectly satisfied with the progress that had been
made, and he could easily see I had taken a great deal of
pains with the children, which was greatly to my credit. I
would do very well, he added, if I would explain the
meaning of the words as well as parse them. But how
was I to do this? My normal teacher, who did not know
what Palestine was, had not told me what the cedars of
Lebanon were, and, indeed, all the books in the world
could scarcely comprise the things he had not told me.
The court assessor, however, paid me a great compli
ment. He said that I was the right man for them : I had
kept myself to myself, and did not bother anybody ; when-
ever I bought anything, I had paid for it on the spot or at
the time I promised. This he considered one of the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 211

greatest merits a schoolmaster could possess ; if, therefore,

I did not chance to know everything, or if the children
could not answer every question put to them, I was not
likely to lose my place on that account.
This was a sort of balm to my wounds. It was perfectly
clear, however, that what pleased one examiner displeased
another ; who then can complain of the unfortunate school
master, if he takes short tacks and with an appearance cf
locomotion does not move forward at all ?
I accepted the invitation of the committee to take a
bottle of wine with them, hoping to hear something that
might cheer me up a bit ; but I was as usual disappointed.
When we sat down, they began to talk of what cows
fetched at the last Berne fair; then the conversation
diverged into the proceedings connected with some pending
law suits, and so it continued till the party broke up ; a
considerable quantity of wine having meantime been con
sumed in discussing the knotty points of local jurisprudence.

CHAPTER XXII.
When the winter school examination is over, many a
schoolmaster feels as if a hundredweight were removed
from his heart. He is no longer plagued with unruly mis
chief makers ; moreover, he is relieved from the scarcity of
money, under which he has been labouring for months : he
can get his Sunday shoes mended, and is able to pay in
cash for his stockings. Like others of my profession, I
was very glad of my salary; but the breaking up of the
school was another affair. When morning came, and the
school-room remained empty, I felt unusually low spirited.
Standing at the door, I looked around in the direction of
all the points of the compass to see whether the leg of a
pupil could be distinguished. At length, a little boy hove
in sight with two sheep which he allowed to graze along
the side of my hedge.
I chatted with this youth for a while, and then betook
myself to work in doors, but did not set about it either
212 JOTS AND SORROWS

cheerfully or with a will. When eleven struck, I left the

loom and went into the kitchen to prepare my midday
meal ; but noticing through the window some white sleeves
at the well, and recognising two of the eldest school
girls, I recollected all at once that my supply of water was
getting short, and I might as well hurry off and get a
pailful.
I exchanged a few words with the girls, and one of them
told me she almost regretted there was no school to-day.
This remark cheered me up a good deal, and henceforward
the well became my favourite resort, my promenade, and
my Palais Royal. I washed everything more carefully, and
required much more water than before. One Saturday
afternoon, I went with my coffee-can to the well; but as
this subjected me to no end of raillery, I took care not to
repeat the mistake.
It cost me sometimes a great effort to suppress my
inclination to indulge in silly jocularities at the well. But
I was a thoroughly burnt child, and firmly resisted all my
inward tendencies to play the fool. My unfortunate affair
with the widow had left in my breast a rankling wound
that utterly refused to heal up. It had yet to fester itself
out, and, whilst suffering from it, I refrained from putting
myself in a position to receive another of the same de
scription. Quacks alone can spread a healing balm over
any and every wound. They place some kind of sticking-
plaster on them, and so disguise them from the sight ; but
wounds must, nevertheless, fester out before they can heal
thoroughly. So it is with the wounded spirit. Thousands
of books and millions of sermons have no effect. We may
disguise the taste of a bitter draught by eating sugared
bread; but no real deeply indented wound ever healed
-without time and patience.
I still felt the same pleasure in the society of the softer
-sex ; but the flame burned with a calmer and steadier light,
-very different from the unbridled blaze that formerly
flickered me about from object to object, and the nature of
which I did not comprehend. I took it to be nothing more
than a development of the sensation we feel in being in the
society of agreeable friends. My former misadventures had
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 213

also driven the notion of marrying out of my head. I now

thought only of saving a little money, taking great delight
in the few thalers I had locked up in my hox, as well as in
the two new shirts I had recently got made. Acquiring
the habit of comparing my income with my expenditure, I
felt confident of being able, in a short time, to pay off my
organ debt ; after which I should be able to lay aside a
portion of my earnings, and eventually become a com
paratively rich man. But into these calculations a wife did
not now enter, much less children.
Thus summer passed away, and winter brought with it
the recommencement of the school. This I contemplated
with the utmost pleasure ; but the school was not as in the
former year the sole occupant of my thoughts. I still loved
to encounter the young women at the well, some of whom
were to partake of the Sacrament at the ensuing Easter,
and thus bid adieu to girlhood.
The young person I met most frequently was she who
had given me the beautiful apple. A single year had made
a wonderful difference in her appearance ; but she could not
yet be regarded as anything more than a well grown girl.
She was the daughter of a poor shoemaker, and her name
was Madely, Her father was one of those workmen who
had not thoroughly learned his trade. For the first six
weeks after he settled in the place he had been regarded
as the fashionable boot and shoe maker ; but ultimately he
was only entrusted with the manufacture of wooden sabots,
for he never had money enough to buy leather. He had,
however, a good share of the mending, and was occasion
ally employed by servants to make their strong hobnailed
boots. Madely was his youngest child, and his house
keeper, for his wife was dead, and his elder children had all
left their home. She was tall, slender, and well formed ;
but her cheeks did not possess the red and white usual in
the Alpine face. On the contrary, they bore more
resemblance to the dusky tint of her father's workshop,
not that they had the pitchy hue peculiar to the visage
of a cobbler at fifty, but her cheeks were not red,
neither were they whitebrown and yellow being the pre
dominant shades. Nevertheless, there was a grace about
214 JOTS AND SORROWS

her features, and an expressive playfulness about her smile

that made her features more attractive than the most
artistically combined pearl and vermilion could possibly
have made them. Her eyes and hair were jet black. There
are some eyes of unfathomable depth, like lakes inhabited
by water-sprites and sirens, that, seizing an unwary stranger
by the look, drag him down to their rocky homes at the
bottom. Such were the eyes of the shoemaker's daughter,
and over them were arched eyelids resembling church
windows, through which one might gaze into the sanctuary
within. Her figure, though, probably, in some eyes
slightly meagre, was elastic, and well proportioned. She
looked handsome, though there were no stockings on her
feet, and, being a shoemaker's daughter, was, of course,
very badly shod.
Such was the girl I more frequently met at the well than
any other. She seemed to require more water than most
of her companions. Besides, I was pleased with her on
account of the activity she displayed, to say nothing of her
serious eyes and her friendly words. I had no idea at all
of being in love, yet my solitariness became ever more
irksome ; and, when a button sprung off one or other of my
garments, I would sigh, and wish there were some one in
the house to sew it on again. Beginning to consider
cooking as one of the plagues of life, I always got angry
when I had to wash up the pots and dishes ; they soiled my
clothes, and I had afterwards to wash and scrub them. I
thought life on earth particularly hard, and often at my
loom and during the dark winter evenings tried to think of
some way to mend matters. The idea of boarding came
into my head ; but would I be better off then ? Would,
in that case, any body sew on my buttons, mend my stock
ings, or do the washing I required ? There would not.
Consequently, that solution was abandoned as worse than
useless.
It is amazing the rubbish a bachelor will have occa
sionally to wear owing to his forgetting, from day to day,
to have his shirts washed. If by chance he oversleeps him
self on Sunday morning, on hearing the bells begin to ring,
he springs out of bed, rushes to his box for a clean shirt,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 215

but there is no such thing to be found, each being dirtier

and more smudged than the other. It is even still more
annoying if he does find a shirt, but discovers that there is
no button on the collar, or that there is a tear in front,
which the rough fist of the washerwoman has made, but of
which she said nothing when the clean linen was brought
home. What, then, is the poor wretch to do with the
dilapidated shirt? Necessity suggests expedients. He
puts it ontakes the biggest neckcloth he hasties it
with the largest possible knotselects the waistcoat the
buttons of which run up highest, and so conceals the
defects, as he fancies, from human eyes. When in summer
you see a young man with such a cravat, and buttoned up
after the aforesaid fashion, you may confidently say, " Oh !
there is a screw loose about that fellow's underclothing.
The conviction dawned upon me, that the only cure for
all these evils was a wife. She would at least take the
cooking, washing, and mending off my hands, and when I
came in from the schoolroom would have my dinner spread
out on the table all ready ; whereas, now I was obliged to
set to work and get it ready. A wife would likewise take
care not only to have a clean wearable shirt ready for me
on Sunday morning, but if she had not something else
particularly pressing to do, would even button the collar
for me. She would save me the washing and mending
bills, and might also do some planting and spinning, which
would be as good as money. These reflections led me to
the inference that a wife, even if she had not a batzen,
would be a good speculation, and that I could save more
money with one than I did now, calculating, as regards
eating, that where there is plenty for one, there is usually
enough for two.
One day that I went to fetch water from the well,
Madely was standing with her pail at the pipe ; an elderly
woman was waiting, and a young one was washing potatoes
close by. It was between one and two o'clock. I was
rather pressed for time ; for when a schoolmaster has to
cook his dinner as well as eat it, he has generally not much
leisure at midday. Knowing this, Madely, as she had oftea
done before, took my pitcher, saying, she would fill it first,
s
216 JOYS AND SORROWS

as she was in no particular hurry. This caused the old

woman to remark, angrily, that young girls should not put
their noses so forward. It was not proper for them to
thrust themselves into the arms of the men. I paid no
attention to this speech, and went laughingly home with my
pitcher, not thinking the words I had just heard would affect
me in any way.
One day passedanother disappeareda whole week
elapsed, but I saw nothing more of Madely. At first I
became uneasy, and then slightly alarmed. This sort of
feeling was not much diminished when I caught sight of
her one evening, and observed she turned round a corner
as soon as she saw me. I could not account for this ; and,
being anxious to find out what it meant, I turned over my
two pair of shoes, until I detected a flaw in one, that
afforded something like an excuse for my calling at the
shoemaker's. It was evening, and very cold. The snow
crackled under my feet, and the oil lamps glittered spark-
lingly through the frozen window panes. "When I reached
the house, I heard some one moving about in the kitchen,
and taking it for granted it was Madely, I knocked. The
upper part of the door opened, and she appeared. "Goodness,
schoolmaster," she exclaimed, " is it you ?" " Yes," replied
I ; " my shoes are rather out of sorts, and I have brought
them to get repaired." The door was opened, and we
stepped together into the kitchen. She seemed greatly
surprised at seeing me, and, after a preamble, I asked her
what she had been about lately ? But it is of very little
use to enter into elaborate explanations with young girls.
Without answering my question, she told me to follow her
into the little room where she said her father was.
I had a gossip with the shoemaker, who told me part of
his history. He bad during his journeyman migrations
been a good way offhad dwelt behind Murten where the
great lake ends, and where there are people who speak a
very different language from ours, so that scarcely one in
a hundred of us could make out what they say. I listened
to him attentively with one ear, whilst trying to make out
what Madely was doing in the kitchen with the other. At
last she entered the room where we were, to put on another
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 217

apron, saying, she was going- down to the village for some
oil. This the old man would not allow, and complained
that for some time past she had neglected spinning and the
household work. He could not make out what was the
matter with her, for she used to be very active. He then
told her to sit down to her spinning, otherwise the school
master would see what a good-for-nothing girl she was. I
said all that would right itself in good time. Many things
got into the heads of young girls ; but many things pass
out of them again. Madely cast a curious look at me, and
sat down to her work. I asked her a question or two, but
as she only replied in monosyllables, and as I did not find
her father's conversation very amusing, I took my
departure. She lighted me to the door, and I asked her
tins time without preface whether I had offended her in
any way. " No, schoolmaster ; not that I know of," she
replied, adding hastily, that her father had no light, and
would be cross if she stood talking.
I, therefore, had to bend my steps homeward, without
feeling myself much wiser than before I set out. I thought
the girl very odd, and angrily decided it was not worth my
while to bother my head about her. She had no right to
give herself airs, thought I, for she had not a batzen in the
world ; but the angrier I tried to make myself, the less
satisfied I was ; and when one feels interested in anything,
it is not easy to make one's self indifferent about the matter.
At last the old man brought my shoes, excusing himself
for keeping them so long, by saying, he could not get his
daughter to bring them to me. He did not believe she
would have done so even if he had wrung her neck for her.
The cause, probably, was, that the dairyman's son had said
a few civil words to her, and that had turned her stupid
head. Very likely the thought that she was sure of him,
had made her as proud as Lucifer, and as obstinate as a
colt.
1 turned very red in the face when he gave me this last
piece of information; but said nothing,paid him his
money, and he went away. Notwithstanding all my efforts,
I could not get the girl out of my head. Wherever I went
218 JOYS AND SORROWS

she herself and her singular conduct were ever uppermost

in my thoughts.
Returning in the twilight one evening from a visit I had
paid the minister, I observed a girl whose gait I thought
I recognised. Taking some long strides, I soon overtook
her. It was Madely, who had been some distance off for
a supply of salt. We both started when we stared in each
others faces, and both manifested unmistakable evidence of
constraint and embarrassment. Maidens, generally, are
excitable creatures ; and I afterwards learned from
Madely's private confessions, that what I had taken for
pride, coldness, and aversion, was nothing more than mere
diffident timidity. So, young women are often tearful from
a sense of weakness and a dread of some danger over
taking them they will be unable to resist. Hence it is,
that the bold and self-sufficient are so successful with the
fair sex. The confident and audacious, though repulsive,
secure the best prizes; whilst the undemonstrative are left
to content themselves with whatever chance throws in their
way. They are frightened by maidenly reserve, which to
them appears resolute though restrained hostility. They
pale before it like the Krahwinkler, who was scared away
by painted cannon; or the well-known seven Suabians,
who were frightened by a hare.
Madely and I walked some little way alongside each
other. I asked her why she shunned and avoided me, but
could get no positive answer. At length I became somewhat
irritated by her evasive replies, and asked her when the
banns were to be read ? The girl stared at me with
astonishment, and said, she must be engaged to be married
before her banns could be published. 1 admitted that; but
supposed the dairyman's son had either asked her or was
going to do so. Here she stopped short, a wrathful redness
colouring up her face, and demanded sharply to know who
had coupled her name with that of the dairyman's son. I
was going on joking, without answering this question
directly ; whereupon, she said, gravely, that it was a shame
ful thing to mix her name up with a person she had nothing
to do with, and would be glad to know whether it was an
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 219

invention of my own, or who had put the scandal into

circulation, adding, it was unkind of me to say such things
of her without any foundation. Seeing that she took the
matter so seriously, I thought it necessary to state who
was my informant.
The girl now began to cry, and her affliction grieved me.
Men's hearts, under the influence of maidens' tears, become
like wax in an oven ; though the tears shed by matrons have
not always the same effect. In my efforts to console her,
I said that I did not mean to annoy her ; that I had no
reason to suppose anything had passed between herself and
the dairyman's son beyond ordinary courtesy ; but, at the
same time, her behaviour towards myself was so extra
ordinary, that it justified me in believing anything told me
about her, and that it had puzzled and mystified even her
own father. I then pressed her once more to tell me why
she pertinaciously kept out of my way.
After a good deal of hesitation, many subterfuges, and a
quantity of coughing, she said, I ought to recollect that I
joined the old woman at the well in making insinuations,
and at a time when, out of pure kindness, she had helped
me to fill my pitcher.
I had forgotten all about the old woman and her remarks;
but now they were brought back to my mind quite freshly.
And so it often fares with those who do not know how
deeply irony and scandalous allusions sink into the hearts
of sensitive maidens. She had detected the leanings of
her own feelings, found out that they had been detected by
others, and fancied that I also had discovered them, and
had laughed at her.
Now it was my turn to explain. I spoke to her honestly
and frankly. This had the desired effect. Madely looked
into my face smilingly, and, without any more coughing,
told me how wretched she had felt at the thought of my
fancying she was a brazen-faced girl. Thus, a perfect
understanding was established between us, and engaged in
pleasantly talking the matter over, we arrived in the
vicinity of her father's cottage before we were aware of it.
I had just time to express a hope that she would come to
the well as usual, and she to give me a nod of assent,
220 JOYS AND SORROWS

when some one coming along separated us, and we both

proceeded to our respective homes.
To enter into a confidential chat with a young woman
is a great deal ; but it is nothing at all to a reconciliation.
Nothing is so charming and exciting between maid and
youth, as the renewal of friendship that follows a quarrel.
It makes the heads of both dizzy, and their hearts light
and full. Lovers' quarrels occur more frequently in
humble than in high life ; but to the young women of
both classes they are specially dangerous.
That night I felt very singular. In my dreams 1
beheld Madely sewing on my buttons; and even heard
her calling out, " Come, dear, breakfast is ready." From
my dreams during the night she passed into my dreams
during the day. A wife appeared absolutely necessary to
my comfort. My domestic labours grew unbearably
irksome. The pleasure I experienced in meeting and
talking to Madely ever increased ; and my calcula
tions convinced me more and more, that nowhere could
I meet with a worthier partner than the shoemaker's
daughter.

CHAFFER XXIII.
Whilst in this dreamy state of mind, the washerwoman,
one Saturday evening, brought me home my clean shirts.
Being engaged at the time in blacking my shoes for Sun
day I laid the shirts aside without looking at them, and
it was not until I had done brushing that I took them up
to pick out one for next day's wear, and put the others by.
To my great annoyance I found the best one missing ; so,
without more ado, I ran off as fast as possible to ask the
washerwoman what had become of it ?
Seemingly astonished, she said that all the things I had
given her had been returned, that I ought to have noticed
the deficiency at the time she delivered them, that she did
not believe there was anything wanting, that anybody
might come to her an hour after and say they did not get
so and so ; she could not attend to such complaints, other
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 221

wise people would find it an easy way to get a decent

supply of underclothing. The woman used her tongue at
the same time after the vigorous fashion of washerwomen
in general, employing expletives not fit for fastidious ears.
Hurling the imputation she was a cheat back upon me
with interest, she told me broadly that people had advised
her to be cautious in her dealings with me, for, if not con
stantly on her guard, I would give her a great deal of
trouble ; but now since she had found me out, she did not
want to wash any more of my rags, and would take good
care to tell everybody what a dangerous customer I was.
I could only reply to this tempest of invective by throwing
in occasionally my opinion that she was a wicked woman,
but my words were blind shots when opposed to her
vigorous grape and canister. I therefore thought the
most judicious course I could, under the circumstances,
pursue, would be to make my escape as speedily as pos
sible: so I took to my heels and ran away, thankful the
virago did not give chase. When however I had got a
safe distance from her fire, my anger fairly boiled over ; to
be obliged to put up with my loss, and submit, at the same
time, to be slandered as a suspicious character, was more
than I could bear. Then I reflected it was all owing to
my being a helpless bachelor, and concluded, as this state
of affairs could not go on for ever, it had better cease
whilst I had a shirt remaining.
Determining to lose no time in further consideration, I
started off to the shoemaker's cottage. A wife, thought I,
will be pretty sure to make head against the slanders of
the washerwoman. Whether I knocked at the shoemaker's
door or not, I cannot say ; at all events, without waiting
for some one to open it, stalking in, I found Madely alone
in the little dusky room combing her long black tresses, an
old book open before her, probably '' Arnd's Treasury."
Starting up on hearing me approach, she grasped the lamp
and held it forwards, whilst, with the other, she pushed
aside her hair ; then it rolled down on one side of her
head: the maiden was glowing from a mixture of surprise
and consternation ; the lamp seemed to enjoy the scene as
its faint rays fell upon the face and figure of the speechless
girl.
222 JOTS AND SORROWS

On this occasion she looked more like an astonished

fairy than a cobbler's daughter, and seeing her surprise, I
said, or rather roared, in a great passion, " I must have a
wife, Madely, will you have me for a husband ?"
This abrupt question only augmented her perplexity ; her
hand trembled, the lamp shook, the wick deluged with oil
spluttered and flickered as if jealous and anxious to veil the
maiden's charms from my gaze. '' Gracious goodness,
schoolmaster," she at length exclaimed, " what ever in the
world has happened to you, and what fancy has come so
suddenly into your head?"
I then began to rave about washerwomen, shirts, cooking,
marriage and dish cleaning, mixing the whole up into a
hash of inextricable confusion. So the young woman
declared once more she could not make out what I really
did mean. Finding it necessary to explain myself a little
more clearly, I related to her the details of my dispute with
the washerwoman, stated how I had been cheated, wronged,
and insulted, giving her to understand that being very
angry at this villanous usage, instead of hanging myself by
a hook to the ceiling, I had resolved to get married, after
which I renewed my proposal. To this she replied, " You
are not in earnest, schoolmaster ; when your anger wears
off, you will change your mind and repent, I will very
soon be forgotten ; therefore better say no more on the
subject."
I became more pressing, spoke of love and attachment ;
but my asservations met with no belief. She merely
replied that I was in a passion, and did not then know my
own mind. Seating myself on a bench beside her, I pro
tested ardently that this was not the first time I had
thought of offering her my hand, that it had been running
in my head for a long time, and that my dispute with the
washerwoman had only put an end to my want of resolu
tion. Of all the girls in the parish, I said, she was the
only one that had secured the affections of my heart ; I
never was more happy than when in her presence ; on the
other hand, I could not tell what her feelings were towards
me, for sometimes she seemed friendly, and at other times
quite the reverse ; but now I was sincerely desirous of
 Of A SCHOOLMASTER. 223

having an end put to my bachelor discomforts. I begged

her not to be offended at the abrupt way I had made the
offer, but to believe that I had loved her long and dearly,
that she was the only being I could be happy with, and
that I would strive to make her happy. Then taking her
hand, I looked gravely into her face, entreating her not to
reject me.
Allowing me to retain her hand, her eyes became suffused
with tears, and shaking her head, she said: "No, school
master, I do not believe you have ever loved me ; I am
only a poor working girl, it is not worth while for any
body to love me ; do for mercy's sake leave off, and do not
make game of me." Saying this, laying her head and
arms upon the table, she burst into a flood of tears.
Striving to comfort her, I asked whether she had ever any
reason to believe I was a bad hearted fellow, capable of
trifling with a girl's affections. Slowly lifting her head,
she looked me in the face, and said she had some reason to
think I was not sincere, but she could not tell me what
that reason was.
This exordium of course made me doubly anxious to
know the nature of the mystery. The more she entreated
me not to ask her, the more I insisted upon knowing. I
insisted that if she entertained a spark of affection for me,
she would believe what I said, or, at all events, would not
conceal her reasons for disbelief. This argument had the
desired effect. Looking me again full in the face anxiously,
she said she could not tell me aloud, but would whisper into my
ear. I therefore inclined my head down to hear the secret,
and I felt the close proximity of my face to hers somewhat
embarrassing, particularly as she spoke so low that she had
to repeat the words two or three times over before I could
make them out. The purport of her whispered communi
cation was that I had never taken her out anywhere, nor
treated her as other young men do their sweethearts.
We were now seated very closely and comfortably
together. On being entrusted with the great secret, I
smilingly told her that schoolmasters were not expected to
act precisely like other people, remarking I had learned
that through my own personal experience, having lost my
22i JOTS AND SORROWS

former school by joining rather freely in village merriment.

Then I gave her an outline of my adventures with Studi
and Yarn-Lizzy, sufficient to show her the nature of my
experiences. Afterwards I explained how these events
had made me resolve not again to place myself in a position
to be made the laughing-stock of an entire village.
Madely expressed herself perfectly satisfied with ray
explanation, but said that whilst she was ignorant of these
things, I could not wonder at her being a little disappointed
at my bearing towards her, and might easily excuse her
for thinking that I merely wanted to amuse myself at her
expense. I thought this a favourable opportunity to enquire
whether she did really love me, and whether she would
consent to be my wife."
-" Oh, schoolmaster," replied she, throwing her arms
round my neck, " through my whole life I have not cared
for any one so much as yourself, and I have always loved
you very dearly. I have often thought I was committing
a sin to love you more than my father, but he is always
scolding and never says a kind word to me. I have never
even had a friend other than yourself. The girls about do
not like me because I am not so well dressed as they are,
and the young men turn up their noses at me for the same
reason ; you are the only person who has always spoken
kindly to me, and who has treated me like other people.
From the very first school day, 1 have always felt glad
when I could do you a trifling service. Often and again
have I cried because I thought you must like the girls who
were well dressed and handsome better than me. Sad I
was and sorrowful when the school broke up ; a sight of
you always cheered me, though I only saw you at a distance.
When I heard you sometimes came to the well, I was quite
delighted and in the intervals could scarcely make out
whether I was in heaven or on earth ; even when a person
roared in my ears I often did not hear them. But when
the old woman spoke, and 1 fancied you joined in her
railings, I thought all was over, and would very willingly
have died on the spot. It then occurred to me that, being
a poor girl, neither you nor anybody else cared at all about
me. I resolved to continue single all my life, but determined
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 225

at the same time to keep my love for you a secret, so that

neither yourself or anyone else could jeer me on the sub
ject. Still i when you spoke a kind word to me, it always
gave me pleasure ; but I began to cry shortly after, being
fully persuaded you could not care for me, when you might
choose amongst the fairest and the highest."
It was now my turn to renew my protestations of undying
attachment. I told her how jealous I had been when I first
heard of the dairyman's son, partly on my own account,
and partly because I thought she was a prize fitter for a
governor than a milkman. This pleasing interchange of
sentiment, though soft and sweet, was extremely curious.
Each tires not of hearing, yet interrupts the other by
thrusting in an endearing word at nearly every instant;
and when the one gets a-head in the talking, the other is
overflowing with desire to speak. Meanwhile we sat in a.
sort of half-embrace, gazing lovingly into each other's eyes.
In a state of heartfelt bliss, we consigned our hearts the
one to the other ; and it is a glorious thing to possess a
heart, yet many young couples only pride themselves on
the beauty of their wedding garments. How poor their
joys in comparison to ours!
" Just so ! " resounded from a gruff voice in our ears.
" When the cat is out of the way, the mice dance." We
darted from each other like frightened deer, for papa shoe
maker stood before us. He went on to make some by no
means elegant remarks about jolly schoolmasters, which
caused Madely to cover her face with her hands, and slink
ashamed into a corner. I, however, picked up a little
courage, and stopped him by saying, " All right, friend, we
have not been up to any mischief," adding that, in point o
fact, I had asked his daughter to be my wife ; and as she-
had not said " No," all that was wanted to complete the-
business was his own consent.
" Ohl that is the way the wind blows, is it ?" replied he,
throwing himself into a consequential attitude. " Your
proposal," he added, " though perfectly correct and on the
square, requires a little consideration. My daughter is a
young person by no means to be sneezed at ; she is quite
good enough for a farmer, and not to be got by the first
226 JOYS AND SORROWS

comer." Who, he should like to know, is to attend to his

household affairs, if Madely got married ? That was a
question of special interest to him. He could not afford to
keep a servant ; besides, servants were a very bad investment
for one's stock of ready money. To be sure daughters were
not a much better speculation. After one has fed and
clothed them till they become useful, then they leave the
nest, and fly off with the first beggar that comes in the
way. Jf they thought of the old people after they got
married, and tried to secure a corner for them in their
declining years, that would be a different thingthen
parents might submit with patience to their going away.
He was doubtful whether he would give me the girl at all ;
if she waited a little longer, and did as others do, she might
meet with a much better match.
The old man went on blustering for some time in this
fashion, without listening to anything I had to say. At last
I caught hold of an opportunity to tell him that, though
the school-house was not very large, still I fancied space
enough could be found for him there. Madely also spoke
to him supplicatingly, promising never to desert him. These
overtures seemed to mollify him a little, but he still went
on grumbling. He could not help thinking his daughter
the silliest wench in the world, and must say that he never
in his life anticipated having a schoolmaster for a son-in-
law; a member of such a profession could not be reckoned
as anybody ; besides, schoolmasters could not be relied upon,
scarcely any of them could fight their own way through the
world, let alone helping anyone else ; still, if it must be so,
he would not be a stubborn father.
In this way the worthy cobbler consented to my marriage
with his daughter. He evidently took pleasure in giving
himself airs, for once in his life flattering himself that he
was a great man graciously conferring a benefit on a humble
suppliant. Very likely he chuckled to himself at the thought
of what the people would say on hearing that his daughter
was going to get married, when so many wealthy girls
about the village could not get husbands.
I stayed at the cottage till very late in the evening. The
old man got sleepy, and talked about going to bed ; so I
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 227

had to prepare for departure, but was a long time in making

a start. Even when I got outside the door, there was the
same reluctance to move on, and had not Madely termi
nated my hesitation by giving me a hearty kiss and telling
me to run quickly home, I believe I would be standing
there yet.

CHAPTER XXIV.
Does anyone recollect the time when his godfather or god
mother gave him his first bright new batzen ? How he
fondled itnever allowed it to be out of his hand, except
when, at the request of his mother, he put it into his
breeches' pocket, but quietly fished it out again a few
minutes after ! how it was always taken to bed, and how
everybody was told " See what godfather has given me !"
A young man, when first betrothed to his intended, acts
towards her pretty much in the same way as the boy to the
batzen ; that is to say, when the betrothal is a real genuine
love affair. Betaking myself along the solitary road to my
lonely house, there was no one to whom I could speak of
my intended, of her surpassing beauty, or of her innume
rable virtues. I went to bed, but did not sleep. It seemed
to me that night that morning was very tardy about making
its appearance. When morning did break, I got up, and I
do not think that in the whole course of my life I ever got
up so early on a winter Sunday morning. After making
and drinking my coffee, I made myself particularly smart,
tying my neckcloth three times before I got it into a knot
that pleased my fancy. Though this occupied some time,
I was still too early, and consulted my watch at least thirty
times before I set out for church.
Notwithstanding all this, I started before anyone was
astir. There was scarcely anybody to be seen anywhere,
nor was there any sign of Madely in sight. As I after
wards learnt, she had passed the night pretty much after
the same manner I had done myself. She also was early
afoot ; but the old cobbler would not submit to be put out
228 JOYS AND SORROWS

of his waytold her there was no necessity for being in a

hurry, or putting herself in a fuss ; she would be early
enough to find that her feet would get cold, and feel time
hang heavily on her hands. It would be a very different
thing, he said, if our minister was like the one on the
other side of Murten ; he was a preacher of the right sort,
made the people jump out of their seats every time he
thumped the pulpit, and sometimes even the plaster would
drop from the walls. That was a man really worth going
to hearthe hammering with his hands and feet kept the
people awake ; but here, at Gytiwyl, nobody understood
the business, and he would vote for having the whole thing
discontinued in winter-time altogether.
Thus, though Madely had intended to be in good time,
she was kept at home till it was rather late. I had given
up hopes of seeing her at church at all that morning, but
she entered after the first hymn had been sung. Then my
face, which had become somewhat gloomy, brightened up,
just as the earth may be supposed to do when the sun
begins to shine upon it. What the sermon was about, or
what went on in church, I do not know, all my powers of
observation, and the whole strength of my eyes, being bent
in one direction, and that was towards a lock of Madely's
hair, which peeped from under her bonnet, for I could not
see her face, as she kept either looking straight forward or
at her book. The slyboots might have sat in a position that
I might have seen her more conveniently if she had liked ;
but instead of that, she had planted herself alongside a
huge farmer's wife, who had a head like a soup-kettle, and
there she sat, fixed and immovable. Only when the con
gregation rose up or sat down, she took a stealthy glance
towards me, probably with a view to find out whether I was
still looking in the same direction.
After service, some schoolmasters wished to talk over
with me a novelty that had recently been introduced by
one of them into school business ; but, feeling the ground
burning under my feet, I struggled hard, and got away
from them. I was disappointed, however, in finding
Madely alone. She, like myself, had been seized hold of
by some gossiping girls, from whom she could not get
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 229

away. What was worse, the tall, lanky district judge had
commenced talking to them about some affair then before
the court, and he always contrived to get between me and
my intended, obscuring her from my sight like a palpable
shadow.
I now hoped Madely would make her appearance at the
catechising-class, but again a disappointment. Fortunately,
she had the good sense to stay away. I should have cut
rather an odd figure if she had come and had attracted my
thoughts and eyes to where she sat ; but a sensible right-
minded girl has a hundred times more prudence than a
schoolmaster. Altogether I had a weary day of it, and I
began to think whether I might not pay a visit to the
shoemaker's cottage, even though it was yet broad day
light. It was nobody's business but my own, and the
people would know all about it by-and-bye. I had not,
however, spoken to Madely on the subject; therefore, not
knowing how she might like it, I delayed my visit till dusk.
Then I lit my pipe, filled my pouch with tobacco, so that I
might treat my prospective father-in-law with some oi the
three-kreutzer article, and I was just going to extinguish
the light, when a knock came to the door.
I thought it might be a message from my intended,
or even she herself; but instead of that the bailiff's
serving man stepped in, and said he wanted me to do a
little writing for him. Lighting his pipe, and stretching
himself out at full length on the oven, he commenced
giving me a circumstantial account of a cow that yielded
red milk. With some difficulty I got him to abandon this
chapter, and asked him to tell me what I was to write
about. Blowing dense clouds of smoke from his half-
choked meerschaum, he said, one of the maids who left at
Christmas had written to him, and asked him to write her
in return ; accordingly he had come to me for a letter. My
blood began to curdle in my veins through sheer impatience
and vexation, but when a peasant Hans or Genz is lying
stretched out on the oven with a pipe in his mouth,
impatience is of very little use.
Not knowing what other expedient to adopt, I sat down
at the table, placed paper before me, and said, " Now
230 JOTS AND SORROWS

Hans, go on, what am I to write?" '' Oh," he replied,

" anything you like, I am not very particular, so long as it
can be folded up and put in the post." " But there must
be something in the letter, what am I to say ?" enquired I
pettishly. " Well, schoolmaster, you know best what
should be said in such a letter; I shall leave that to you,"
he rejoined coolly. " Possibly," remarked I, " there may
be something in the letter she wrote that requires an
answer." " Very likely," he muttered, adding, that he did
not know, as he could not make out the pothooks in it.
On my asking for the letter, he told me he had intended to
bring it and had put it in his pocket for the purpose, but
having been at a loss for a little clean straw to do a little
wiping he had unfortunately made use of the letter, but
that was of no great consequence : so I had better write
away, as it would not signify what the letter contained.
Finding it no use to put direct questions, I tried another
system of interrogatory. By this means, I ascertained
that Zingel, the cow, had had two calves, both steers, and
gave a whole pan of milk, that he did not much like the
new servant maid, she used by far too much straw in
littering the pigs, and never cleaned out the sty or the
barn, leaving that for him to do. Having put this into an
epistolary form, I asked him if it would do. He said it
would answer admirably, only I might add his kind greet
ings, and hint that he expected her to pay for a bottle, as
her letter had cost, him six kreutzers.
Quickly folding up the letter, I handed it to him. He
took it, asked me whether there was anything to pay, but
showing no signs of going away, kept lying stretched out
on the oven. I could not tell him I wished to call on the
shoemaker, for in that case he would have insisted on going
there with me. I therefore said I had some pressing
business with the innkeeper, would he go along with me to
the tavern. To this he demurred, because he had his
wooden shoes on ; but as he was very comfortable where
he was he did not mind waiting till I came back. Finding
that the bait had been swallowed, I hastened off to the
shoemaker's cottage as fast as my legs could bear the
strain.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 231

The period of courtship is a period of more than an

ordinary development of sympathy ; as scholars would say
two young people engaged are in a kind of magnetic
reportwhat the one feels the other feels; similar thoughts
arise in hoth at the same moment of time, and the same
wants manifest themselves in each of their hearts. Madely
had been longing to see me as much as I had been longing
to see her; but to her anxiety was added a kind of fear:
she could not account for my staying away so long other
wise than by supposing I had changed my mind. She,
nevertheless, continued to poke her little turned up nose
out of the kitchen door into the wintry air so that it had
become quite red with the cold, doing this every two
minutes till at last her patience was rewarded by hearing
me come puffing and snorting along at a rapid pace. Then
she hurriedly closed the door, retreated into her den, did
the best she could to compose herself, re-opened the door,
let me in with a smile, and showed no wish to push me
into the next room where papa was busily engaged in
hammering a shoe. She did not seem at all uneasy about
my face being near her own, nor was she in the slightest
degree incommoded by my sitting very close to her.
After a bit she pulled from the stove a carefully covered
can of coffee which smelt very fragrantly. This she placed
before me with some bread, and seemed to feel a great
deal of gratification in treating me, for the first time, with
food and drink. The coffee was very good: she had put
three berries more in it than the traditional quantity handed
down in her mother's family.
Whilst sipping this beverage many things were clothed
in words that the day before in the storm of our feelings
had not been touched.
* *
As yet nothing had been said about the wedding day. I
proposed that the banns should be published next Sunday,
candidly admitting that one reason for haste was the fact
that in four or five weeks at most I should require to have
some things washed, and who was to do it for me if I had
not a wife bv that time ?
Over Madely's whole being there flushed a beam ot
232 JOYS AND SORROWS

glowing joy when she saw how anxious I was to hasten

the ceremony, for from a feeling of gladness more than
anything else doubts and misgiving would intrude them
selves on her mind. But now it was perfectly evident I
was thoroughly in earnest. Still she felt a curious sensa
tion tingle all over her when the idea of being a married
woman in four weeks occurred to her thoughts. There
were a great many things to get ready, which, she told me,
could by no manner of means be accomplished in so short
a period of time. The old man also shook his head when
he heard of the proposal. He admitted that he could
neither give his daughter a dowry nor new clothes for the
occasion ; though, as regards the latter, those that had
been made for her confirmation were still as good as new ;
but an extra shift or two, another pair of stockings and a
pair of shoes he meant to add to her store, and all that
could not be done in a month. Then, as regards a dowry,
though Madely had none, still, if he went to live at my
house, he would at all events take some furniture along
with him, and that would not come amiss to me.
That Madely's marriage portion was to consist only of
a couple of new shifts did not at all alarm me; I should
gladly have taken her without even one that very week if
I could have got her. All my grand notions of a rich
wife had taken to themselves wings and fled, and I now
thought it possible to live on love alone. Though I had
run through two love affairs and always been partial to the
society of the fair sex, yet for the first time had I fallen
really and truly in love with a distinct personality. If any
worldly sentiments had mingled with my feelings, I would
of course have commenced bargaining with my prospective
father-in-law, since I had neither father nor brother to
take the business off my hands for me. As it was, instead
of my dictating terms to him, he had rather to enforce
his own upon me, I being in no way loth to submit.
Promising to purchase all the things that were necessary
both for Madely and myself, I told him I should not put
him to any kind of expense; whereupon he asked me
whether I had enough money in hand to do all that with.
This question occasioned me a slight degree of embarrass-
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 233

ment, which the old man did not fail to perceive. He

then put it to me as a sensible man, whether it would not
be wiser in a schoolmaster to delay his marriage till the
school broke up and he had more time, as well as more
money in hand. After a good deal of discussion I had to
consent to wait for Madely till after the examination.
That my wits often went a wandering in school will not,
under the circumstances, astonish anybody, and still less
that my evening visits at the shoemaker's cottage had
been observed by some of the village gossips. Had I paid
my visits late at night, as is customary with young people
in the village, that is, after the old folks had gone to bed,
then nothing would have been said beyond the simple fact
that the schoolmaster was paying attentions to the cobbler's
daughter, but whether I meant to marry her or not, they
could not tell. My going to the cottage at six o'clock, and
returning home at ten, when according to established
usage I should have set out, was a thing totally unheard
of and unknown even to the oldest inhabitant.
My conduct being regarded as outrageous became a
subject of lamentation on the part of the old women and
scandal mongers of the village. They could not put an
unfavourable interpretation upon what they had seen
beyond the extraordinary hours I had chosen for my
courtship. They had detected nothing more than that I
was partial to gazing into the eyes of the cobbler's daughter,
but then, if my intentions were honourable, why did I not
do as other young fellows did, that is to say, seek the seclu
sion of the maiden's chamber at the midnight hour, and
not make a parade of my sweethearting in the light of day,
and in presence of the girl's own father?
On one of my ordinary visits to the minister, when
about to bid him good bye, he hinted that some scandalous
remarks had reached his ears; he, of course, did not believe
them, but advised me to be on my guard, as there appeared
to be a good deal of nonsense in circulation regarding my
proceedings amongst the gossiping section of the peasantry.
On my expressing my surprise, he told me what rumours
had reached his ears. I then confessed to him that I was
engaged to the shoemaker's daughter, that the banns were
234 JOTS AND SORROWS

to be published -after Easter, and that the scandal about me

had evidently arisen from my habit of visiting my intended
early in the evening instead of late at night as was usual
amongst the -village young people, adding that after all it
would probably be as well for me, though a schoolmaster,
to do as other people did. His reverence blazed up at
this, told me I had acted most properly, and would not
hear of my following the village customs ; on the contrary,
he declared that the very next Sunday he would preach on
the subject, tell the people how wrong they were in keep
ing up such vile usages, and also their wickedness in forcing
other people to do evil likewise. I, on my side, naturally
objected to being made the subject of a discourse from the
pulpit ; but he would not consent to abandon the project
till I promised not to adopt the common system of
courtship.
We then parted, both probably dissatisfied with having
yielded so much to each other; he, in abandoning an
opportunity to put down a growing evil, and of profiting
by myself as an example of another course of conduct that
chance had thrown in his way ; I, on my part, was dis
contented, because I must remain exposed to public censure
to gratify a whim of the clergyman's. In spite of all my
former experience, I thought that the most decorous course
for me to adopt would be to do as other people did. It is
certainly a hard thing to acquire knowledge by experience,
but it is sometimes even harder to profit by the wisdom
acquired at so costly a price.
Madely wept when I told her the stories the villagers
had been circulating about us. We resolved to declare
ourselves openly as betrothed, even though we should not
surprise the congregation by having it first announced
from the pulpit, as is the usual custom in the country.
Amongst the farmers and villagers the practice, from time
immemorial, has been to keep a courtship a profound
secret till the banns are published in church : the natural
result of this singular usage is, that, in six cases out of ten,
the mystery is not divulged till it becomes no longer
possible to conceal it.
The people stared with woeful astonishment when they
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 235

heard that, in defiance of this usage, I had actually gone

openly to a shop and bought a ring and a handkerchief for
Madely. Their amazement was still more excited when
they learnt that I had accompanied the maiden and bought
for her the material of a dress. As regards myself, I
should have spent my last kreutzer in this way, had not
my intended whispered to me that I had better keep a
little money for bread and milk.

CHAPTER XXV.
In due course of time the days grew longer, the snow dis
appeared from the fields, larks hovered in the morning
sunbeams, and snowdrops, to the immense delight of the
children, sprouted up in the orchards. The young people
in the school became more and more restive ; when they
got outside and began their games, there was no getting
them in doors again ; a fresh energy had been infused into
their blood, and this invigoration of the animal spirits
usually gives the schoolmaster a great deal of trouble.
Once more the women appeared in the gardens, and vast
quantities of linen were rolled out in lines on the grass to
catch the rays of the genial sun. March dust flew about
the roads, and dogs sported about merrily in defiance of
the stifling blasts.
I had an amazing number of things to arrange with my
intended, and was never done talking to her. We thought
of planting some things we did not exactly know what or
how much ; but she hesitated to assist me till after the
marriage. The wedding day, however, was now drawing
nearer and nearer; with pleasure I counted the ever
diminishing days yet to intervene, but my pleasure was not
altogether unmixed with anxiety. Altogether my sensa
tions were of a singular complexion; I can only describe
them as a kind of joyful uneasiness. I have no doubt that
Madely's impressions were of much the same complex
character, the more so as she always blushed deeply when
I chanced to hint that our marriage day was no great
way off.
236 JOYS AND SORROWS

My intended sometimes almost made me cross by object

ing to the marriage taking place the first week after pub
lishing the banns. She assigned pretexts for the obstinacy,
but they did not appear to me extremely cogent. One
very good reason, however, she did not disclose. The
thoughtful girl was anxious to give me something as a
wedding present, and since a lost shirt had been the
operating cause in bringing about our union, she had
resolved to make up a very nice one for me ; but having a
world of other things to do, this could not be accomplished
in a hurry, particularly as she had to earn the money for
the material by spinning. Being at the same time as
anxious for the wedding as I was, she wrought very hard,
so much so that she looked paler than usual, but her eyes
sparkled none the less brightly when they were turned full
into my face. After all she was obliged to give me the
real reason ; I became so impetuous and fretful ; but when
she told me, of course, I was perfectly satisfied ; besides
which, to allay my impatience, and to see how I was
getting on with my preparations, she would now and then
look in at my house towards the close of the evening.
These, the most delightful events of my courtship, enabled
me to submit quietly to the extra delay.
Every thing at length was arranged, except the place
where the wedding was to he celebrated, and how we were
to get there. Madely had never been to Berne, and that
city was rather far to go on foot. At last we pitched upon
a village about two leagues off, where there was an inn
that bore a good character as regards the bill of fare and
reasonable charges.
The morning fixed for our wedding arrived. We started
at an early hour, and met a little way off, so as not to be
caught by the peasants with their ropes and poles and
made to pay the ransom usual in such cases. Fortunately
the weather was remarkably propitious ; the eastern sky
resplendent with roseate hues tinged with warmth the
distant snowy peaks, announcing to the valleys beneath the
coming of the glorious messenger of day. Solemnly and
majestically rose the sun upwards from the horizon. There
I thought it rested to gaze with wondering delight on my
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 237

fair bride, casting its rays upon her with chastened softness
and splendour, illuminating, as it appeared to me, her only,
neglecting for a brief interval all the rest of mankind. Nor
did this seem to me surprising, for what more lovely
object could Phoebus gaze upon than my young bride ?
Nay, might not the moon have hinted to him the night
before to look out this particular morning for something
surpassingly beautiful ? My little bride indeed looked so
fresh, so joyous, and so neat in her pretty white dress, her
eyes sparkled so brightly, and she blushed so smilingly
when she glanced in my face, that I should not have been
at all astonished had the sun stood still gazing at her the
whole of the day.
" Madely," enquired I, when we met, " do you really
love me with all your heart? and are you glad to have
me?"
" Peter," she replied, " you will not repent and wish
you had married some one richer and handsomer, will
you?"
We gave each other loving protestations, both by words
and the pressure of our hands : we did not talk much,
however ; our hearts were very full, and at times we were
silent, musing, and even grave. It really is no jokethe
wedding morning, and the walk to the little church, where
two loving souls are coupled into one, to bear together
life's burden, to share each other's joys and sorrows, and
to proceed with equal step to that goal which closes the
mortal career, then to part, but to meet again never more
to be dissevered.
The bells rang cheerily at a distance. We heard them
not, but we felt them penetrate to the marrow of our
bones. They were the first summons to Divine service, and
in silence we grasped each other's hands. The sounds
gradually became more distinct ; the bells of one church
seemed replying to those of another, both announcing that
the sacred portals were open to those desiring to commune
with their Redeemer, and to the afflicted seeking the
Divine consolation.
We proceeded to the church, and announced our mutual
wish to be united in the bonds of holy matrimony. The
238 JOTS AND SORROWS

minister, a worthy, venerable looking man, who had pro

bably tied the knot already for countless numbers of young
couples, had, nevertheless, not been seared into a mecha
nical performance of his sacred duties. He addressed to
us a few earnest significant words. To me, as a school
master, he said it was my duty to act piously, and to be as
an example to others. To Madely he pointed out the
difficulties she had to encounter in fulfilling worthily the
prominent position of a schoolmaster's wife, saying it was
incumbent upon her to be a pattern and blessing to others,
instead of a vexation and a burden. " You are young yet,
maiden," he added ; " have you well considered the step
you are taking, the trials and troubles that you must bear,
the obligations and even the penury that your position as
the wife of a schoolmaster will entail upon you ? Are you
aware that it will behove you to advise and reconcile the
people around you, that you will be expected to make your
milk-jug the widow's oil-cruet, that you will have to be
pious, charitable, and cheerful under affliction all the days
of your life, that you must be dutiful and prudent before
God and man, particularly as regards your conduct towards
your husband ? "
To all this she gave no answer, but two large drops fell
from her eyes, I felt vexed at her silence, being afraid
that the minister might think it arose from a want of
respect for his sacred calling. Afterwards, when I asked
her why she did not answer the clergyman's questions, she
told me she felt as if an iron hand were strangling her,
and though she had been offered all the money in the
world, could not have uttered a word.
The minister, however, must have comprehended her
better than I did, for he said, " Well, maiden, I do not
wish to frighten you ; my object is simply to remind you of
the burdens and trials you are taking on your shoulders
by becoming a schoolmaster's wife. May God, in His
mercy, enable you to bear them with meekness and sub
mission."
Having uttered these solemn words, the minister told
us the bells would soon ring, and asked us if we were
ready, and receiving this time an answer in the affirmative,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 239

directed Madely to a room where she might prepare her

self for the ceremony.
The church was small and gloomy, a dim light passing
into it through a heavy-looking window partially glazed
with painted glass. There were thrse other couples in the
pews, waiting to be married. The brides, seemingly glad
that they had got matters thus far, held their heads de
voutly downwards on their tightly-fastened shawls. At
length the minister entered, and, in a deep bass voice, read
slowly and with dignity the beautiful liturgy, the impress-
iveness of which is often destroyed by drawling tones or
an unbecoming delivery. My bride and I trembled as,
hand in hand, we advanced to the altar, and stood listen
ing to the vigorous exhortations addressed to us, particu
larly when we were urged to advise and comfort each other
in sorrow and in joy, in sickness and in health ; to bear
each other's infirmities with affectionate, never tiring
patience. Madely!s eyes became suffused with tears, and
I felt mine stinging and growing dim. Our hands were
firmly locked together, as if they also were hearts never
more to be torn asunder. The time came when we had to
utter the momentous " Yes " ; but though the monosyllable
was willingly breathed out, the sound, swelling in our
throats, died away on our lips. Next, we had to address
our supplications to the Lord of Hosts for His sanction to
our union, for His guidance in life and blessing in death ;
praying at the same time for each other's welfare and hap
piness. Then we sank into that devotion which, no longer
finding words, is borne in sighs to the throne of the
Almighty. The concluding " Amen " woke us all up, and
this word we articulated with our whole souls, repeating it
till, following the footsteps of the other couples, we left
the House of God.
In accordance with the time-honoured custom of our
country on such occasions, when we left the church, we
proceeded with the three other couples to the village inn
a wedding invariably beginning with the temple and ending
with the tavern. Next to the marriage ceremony, the
great affair of the day is the dinner ; but we had to wait
till that was ready. Meantime, we partook of what
240 JOTS AND SORROWS

refreshment we chose, and had the customary measure of

warm wine. The young wives, having nothing better to
do, began to boast, and criticise the cut of their bridal
attire. The three husbands called for cards, to pass the
time away. They asked me to join the game, but I refused ;
and, by way of retaliation, they began to poke their fun at
me. Finding myself not much at home amongst the three,
I took a turn outside.
It is tolerably well known that a blacksmith coming from
a distance can smell the village smithy, and a baker a
bakehouseso with me. My wandering footsteps led me
to the school-house of the place, and not far off I caught
sight of the schoolmaster. We had met before, and were
soon engaged in a professional discussion. As usual, the
conversation turned upon the success each met with in
doing things his own way : if he said he did so and so thus,
I said I did the same thing in a totally different fashion,
that I got on very well, and scarcely thought I would suc
ceed if I had done as he did. More time passed in this
chatter than I was aware of; and on returning to the inn
I found my little wife peeping round all the corners in
search of me. The others had sat down to dinner, and, of
course, she would not do so without me ; not knowing
where I had gone, she became very uneasy, thinking that,
after all, I had changed my mind and run away, that some
accident had happened to me, or that I had been stolen
from her by somebody.
When, however, she did catch sight of me, her face
became radiant with sweet smiles, and all the dismal fears
quitted her mind. Many another young wife, in spite of
her heartfelt satisfaction, would have commenced scolding ;
and, with thunderbolts in her countenance, would have
kept lecturing for the rest of the day. There are minds
that view all things in an unfavourable light, others that
put the best construction on everything; the former dis
cover material for recrimination or grumbling in every joy ;
the latter a source of joy even in grief; the one pours gall
into every honey-pot, the other balm into every wound ;
the one regards every chance omission as an insult, the
other readily pardons even an intentional injury. The one
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 241

set of minds may be compared to cold murky weather

with showers of hail constantly falling, that destroys or
blights every thing ; the other set are like May nights, in
which vegetation strives to put forth its verdure and its
blossoms, filling the air with fragrant odours. My little
wife, having one of the latter class of minds, did not
spoil the taste of my soup that day with a single unkind
word.
Tavern fashion, the dinner was served up very slowly in
order that we might all the better digest the food and find
room for a larger number of dainties. This somewhat
annoyed the young husbands, who, pushing back the
tablecloth, continued playing cards in the intervals between
serving up the dishes. Their wives objected to this,
telling them they ought to leave off playing till dinner was
over; but they paid no attention to these remonstrances,
not even taking the trouble to help their brides to wine.
They were hard at work playing when Madely and I left, and,
as I afterwards learned, they did not cease the whole of the
evening. One after the other of their wives pulled them
by their sleeves and hinted it was time to go home ; but
this moved them not. The sun went down and the women
began to scold, still the gambling went on ; they played
with ever-increasing avidity without noticing the hand of
the clock was hurrying on towards midnight ; they heard
not the loud murmuring and smothered rage of their
wives, who on this, their wedding day, instead of being
overcome by seriousness and devotion, were overwhelmed
with misery and wretchedness. The revellers did not hear
the midnight hour strike, though they began to feel the
blows of each other ; for, heated with wine, they had
quarrelled. Their wives, crying and screaming, tried to
separate them, but were themselves knocked aside here
and there by heavy blows. At length the landlord inter
fered and had the whole rabble bundled out of doors ;
outside they fought and abused each other till utterly
exhausted ; one couple after another left the field of battle,
bruised, yelling, and uttering terrible imprecations.
Since this was the manner the husbands commenced
fulfilling the vows they had taken at the altar, what fearful
242 JOTS AND SORROWS

forebodings must not have arisen in the bosoms of their

-wretched wives !
Madely and I had promised to meet old papa shoemaker
early in the afternoon at a road side inn, in order to treat
him to a half-holiday as well as ourselves. We therefore
luckily left the other newly married couples some time
before the fighting began, but not before much ill-nature
and wrangling, greatly to our astonishment, had been dis
played. We walked cheerfully along, my new wifey and I ;
the feeling that we really possessed each other made us
indescribably happy. Madely, or rather Mrs. Kaiser, was
not only happy, but even roguishly playful, so much so
that once or twice I had a mind to take her up in my arms
and carry her along by main force. When we arrived at
the place of meeting, we found my worthy father-in-law
awaiting us ; and in a very good humour. It appeared
that he had been relating his journeyings beyond Murten
to some peasants, and they had listened attentively to all
the wonders he told them about the people that lived there,
a thing that had rarely happened to him of late. We
tarried at the inn till dusk, so as not to return home
before night had shrouded the village in darkness. Papa-
in-law kept talking all the way; we walked quietly along,
hand in hand, not paying very much attention to what he
was saying. Grasping each other's fingers very firmly,
we gave free play to our thoughts, but kept our mouths
shut. The shoemaker left us to return to his cottage, and
I, with a kind of awe, led my bride across my threshold,
drawing with a tremulous hand the bolt behind us.
And now, gentle reader, I wish you a very good
night.

CHAPTER XXVI.
Many a young wife, particularly when not previously
trained to kousekeeping, is very much at a loss the first
morning she arises in her own house. She does not
exactly know what to do, has no idea where the various
utensils are, is not sure that they exist at all, and is some
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 243

what embarrassed as to what she should do with them

when actually discovered. Some are in great perplexity
when they have to tell the servant what to prepare for
breakfast ; but how much greater the anxiety when they
have to prepare the meal themselves ? Then, again, as to
dinner, what are they to do, if they have not been taught
the difference between boiled veal and roast ,mutton?
To spare their wives this perplexity, or at least postpone
it for a time, men now take their young brides away on a
wedding excursion, sometimes in a carriage and four,
sometimes in a cart, and sometimes without any vehicle at
all. This appears to me a great mistake. It deprives the
bridegroom of an opportunity to find out, whether his wife
is really equal to the occasion, and whether she is fertile
enough in expedients to manage his household under all
circumstances ; he deprives himself of the infinite delight
of witnessing the manoeuvres of a loving thoughtful young
housewife, and of partaking with her their first post-nuptial
meal prepared by her own hands.
Madely set about her new duties with evident pleasure,
her only anxiety being to please me. She made a bright
fire with a wonderfully small quantity of fuel, and, in
sweeping up the room, made a roguish grimace when she
stumbled upon some long-forgotten corner. After making
the place tidy, she ransacked my wardrobe, looked over
my shirts, asked me where I kept my mending odds and
ends, for many of my things stood woefully in need of
repair. Of course no more money was to be spent in that
sort of thing. Every now and then I got a kiss, when I
did as she bade me ; and when yesterday's clothes had
been brushed and put away, we brought out our ready
money. Madely was quite astonished when she found that,
in spite of the outlay, I had still seven thalers in cash left.
Somewhat abashed, she turned out her own treasure, which
consisted of six whole and one half batzen. A tear came
into her eye as she produced her modest dowry; but I
kissed it away, telling her that I valued herself far more
than a purseful of gold, or a gall-apple weighing a hundred
thousand pounds.
Mid-day struck. My little wife had got through a good
244 JOYS AND SORROWS

deal of work, but I had been dallying and delighting myself

in watching her proceedings. We had now to make room
for papa shoemaker, who was to take up his quarters in
my house that afternoon. We converted a portion of the
kitchen into a bed-room for him, and his working apparatus
was placed in the sitting-room, alongside of my loom, my
bed, and my table. Space was found for this new piece of
furniture, and there was just enough, with very little to
spare.
Thus passed our first marriage day, and a happier one I
had never spent in the whole course of my life. Other
days of equal enjoyment followed, each filled with new
pleasures and fresh delights. After a while, Madely took
to planting out of doors very assiduously, being anxious to
do all that kind of work single handed, so that I might
continue uninterruptedly at my loom. She calculated that,
as we had a stock of wood and potatoes, our household
expenses need not exceed two francs a -week; but two
francs a-week made a hundred and four francs a-year,
which was a good deal more than the amount of my salary;
still she thought, with her own planting and spinning,
joined to my weaving, we might manage. The only diffi
culty lay in what might be called the extras ; these did not
altogether consist of vanities ; my shirts, for example, with
the exception of Madely's wedding-gift, were all like sieves.
To provide such things as these, it was perfectly clear we
must work a little hard. Nevertheless, I did not relish the
idea of my little wifey working all day long out of doors by
herself. That she should start at seven in the morning,
stay away all the forenoon, and then again go out at half-
past twelve, and remain till six, appeared to me a great
deal too much of it. This I found to have a bad effect on
myself; for, instead of keeping my shuttle constantly on
the move, I often stopped work to look at my watch, and
see whether it was not time for her to be home. I bar
gained with her for a change of the system, volunteering
to assist her occasionally in the planting, on condition she
would stay more at home. To this proposal she ultimately
consented, but not without a good deal of argument, in
which I brought my arithmetic to bear in proving to her
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 245

that two could do more together than when working apart.

I found going with her to the fields a pleasant variety, that
seemed to diminish the burden of labour, and the days
vanished like minutes. Nor was our industry without its
reward ; our income was gaining ground on our expendi
ture ; we had received many presents, and many a hand
had opened to us that before our marriage I had fancied to
belong to very close-fisted persons.
Our plantations looked very fair, fully justifying us in
anticipating a fruitful harvest, and that, besides the flax
Madely might require for her own use, we should have
some to take to market. Indeed, the affairs of a newly-
married couple generally go on for a time very prosperously,
particularly when the young wife is neat and thrifty. It
would almost seem as if the fairies, in accordance with
popular superstition, did lend the young wife a hand,
fostering and guarding her labours, during the night carry
ing the dew to her plants, and during the day tempering
the sunbeams that fall upon them. It is, however, certain
enough that young people can raise better crops than old
ones. Grafters assert that with increasing age more and
more of their grafts come to nothing, till at last scarcely
any of them come to good. This should call our attention
to the value of the energetic years of youth, which we are
so prone to squander away in indolence or dissipation.
One Sunday, after church, we had been to take a look at
our crop of flax, and it seemed so beautiful that we fairly
thought we might safely add a pound or two more to our
calculation. Walking home very gleefully, I was consider
ing whether I might not take my industrious little partner
to the inn that evening, and have a bottle of wine there,
or, at least, have one brought home. Before I had quite
made up my mind on this point, we approached the house,
and I observed a stranger sitting beside the papa shoe
maker. A terrible weight all at once fell plop upon my
heart. It was the man to whom I owed the price of the
organ. In the midst of my wedding delirium, 1 had for
gotten his little bill altogether, or, at all events, when it
did come into my head, I tried to forget it, not thinking it
advisable to bother Madely about the matter. Now the
246 JOYS AND SORROWS

disclosure must be made, and all the bright dreams of my

young wife be dashed to the ground by a debt amounting
to no less than fifty thalers. She asked me quietly who
the stranger was, but, feeling as if half strangled, I made
no reply, and we both entered the house.
The man had already related the whole affair to papa-
in-law, who looked as grim as if he had been asked to pay
the account himself. On seeing me, my creditor said he
had now waited a long time, and hoped that I would pay
him. Madely turned pale, trembled, and, with a puzzled
gaze, seemed to hope that the words were addressed to
the wrong person, and probably intended for the old school
master; but, finding that instead of disclaiming the trans
action, I attempted in broken accents to make a stammering
excuse, she went into the kitchen, and I heard her sobbing.
What between my wife, who did not know that I owed
anybody anything, and my creditor demanding his money,
I felt like a heretic in the hands of the inquisitors. My
father-in-law also expressed his surprise at my having such
an enormous debt on my shoulders.
Leaving the man to talk the matter over with the shoe
maker, going indoors to console my wife, I told her the
debt was part of the price of the organ, and, if she liked,
I would sell the instrument and pay off the incumbrance.
She was somewhat comforted to hear there was at least
one way out of the difficulty. The organ, however, was as
much an object of pleasure to her as it was to me, for often
in the evening we would sing together, accompanied by its
sonorous tones. After some reflection, she said, " No,
Peter, it would be a pity to part with the organ now; go
to the man, and try and make some arrangement with him."
I obeyed her injunction, and though I found him very
unyielding at first, he consented to further delay, on con
dition that I would pay something on account, and fix a
time for liquidating the entire amount.
Madely now called us in to dinner. We had no meat on
the table, for generally we schoolmasters fare six times
worse than cheats, thieves, and murderers in the houses of
correction, who, at least in some places, have meat served
up to them twice a-week, whilst we rarely can afford such
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 247

a luxury beyond every third Sunday. But frugal as our

meal was, I should have enjoyed it as usual, had not my
organ tormentor been present. I trembled lest he might,
from stupidity or malice, allude to the scandals circulating
about me in the Schnabelweide, concerning which Madely
knew nothing beyond the mere outline, and of which I
should not have liked the old man to have known anything
at all, as, if so, he would very likely throw out sly hints to
make my wife believe matters there had been much worse
than I confessed.
Luckily for me, my creditor chose another subject to
entertain us with during dinner, and, fortunately, he pitched
upon the new schoolmaster, who, he said, was a ridiculously
pompous person, and his wife a complete impersonation of
pride and insolence, too high-minded and lazy for any kind
of work ; she would not even do her own washing. She
had sent her dirty linen to the farmers' wives one after the
other to wash it for her, and when she found all of them
refused point blank to have anything to do with it, had it
packed up and sent to Berne to be washed there. At last,
her husband having objected to that, on account of the
expense, he had to do it himself, whilst she lay in bed.
Both of them were already at daggers drawing with the
villagers, who all admitted they would be very glad to have
me back again, being now aware they had treated me
rather badly. This account of matters at the Schnabel
weide, instead of being a torment, was very gratifying to
my ears.
The money matters, however, had yet to be arranged;
and I did not find this part of the business quite so plea
sant. 1 felt satisfied the sum owing was fifty thalers, but
the man insisted it was sixty, and as I had taken no receipts
for the preceding payments, I was not in a position to
contradict his statement. After a deal of wrangling, in
which I had to submit to some offensive remarks as to my
honesty, the debt was fixed at fifty-six thalers, and this
time I despatched my father-in-law in search of a stamp.
In the mean time Madely and I scraped together all our
money, and, with the exception of one batzen, we had just
248 JOYS AND SORROWS

enough to pay the interest on the amount due, and six

thalers on account. Father-in-law supplied the batzen
that was short, and after handing over the money to the
man, we had not a single kreutzer left. Our evil spirit
however left the house, apparently satisfied; but such a
visitor always leaves a shadow behind.
This shadow darkened the hitherto bright countenance
of my poor little wife. It dragged like lead at her feet,
and, sticking in her throat, made her voice choky. I felt
it pressing on all my limbs, and especially on my eyes, of
which I could scarcely open the lids. Madely sat silently
on a little bench outside, I inside, with my head on the
table.
Such a posture of affairs was almost unbearable. Going
out to my wife, I seated myself near her, and, taking her
hand, asked if she was angry with me ? She wept, but
did not chide me, replying wailingly that she was sorry I
had bought so many things for her instead of paying off
my debt, and regretted that I had not told her sooner, for
in that case we might have been better prepared for the
emergency; still, of the terrible truth that we had not a
single kreutzer left, and a debt of fifty thalers impending
over us, she said not a word ; neither did she repel my
words of consolation coldly or sharply, nor utter a selfish
complaint. On the contrary, she very soon regained her
composure, and became once again my dear confiding little
wife, the rainbow of love arching again smoothly and
beautifully on her brow, though her joy was rather more
tempered and her eye a little less bright than they were
before.
The pressure of the debt I had foolishly contracted in
my bachelor days, now felt doubly heavy, for the privations
its payment entailed, my dear wife had to share. Such
burdens all should guard against, and especially a school
master. Had I not indulged in the luxury of buying
bargains, and had I stretched myself out no longer than
the length of my coverlet, I could now have easily earned
all that was requisite for our daily wants. If a man incurs
debts, he should not encumber the marriage contract with
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 249

them ; they are four times heavier on two than on one,

and ten times more difficult to wipe off after than before
the wedding day.
* *
Closely following upon the organ business, Madely
became paler than usual, and began to feel ill, sometimes
in one place and sometimes in another ; each of her limbs
ached more or less ; occasionally she was very sick and
had no appetite, an unripe apple being the only thing that
agreed with her. These ailments sometimes alarmed me.
Like most men in matters of illness I was utterly helpless,
and could suggest nothing other than a dose of balm tea,
which she herself made me take when I felt a little out of
order; but a woman is often very self-willed, and what
she will pour down her husband's throat, she will not
permit to touch her own lips. So it was in this instance.
She would have nothing at all to do with the balm tea ;
yet her complaint went from bad to worse : she scarcely
ever took anything at meals, her face seemed growing
longer and her eyes to sink in their sockets. When I
spoke to her about a doctor, she said she hoped to be
better presently, and then, next day, when she was no
better, I again spoke to her about medical advice ; but got
pretty much the same answer. What was worst of all, I
sometimes found her in tears. Speaking of this to a
neighbour's wife, 1 expressed my fear that Madely was in
a consumption ; whereupon the woman said I was a goose,
and laughingly told me there was very little consumption
about the matter, and I would find that out in due course
of time. When I reported this conversation to my wife,
she looked annoyed, and said she did not want me to go
gossiping with a neighbour's wife about her ailments.
When afterwards I learnt she was about to become a
mother, I could not have paid her more attention had she
been a queen, and I felt a peculiar sensation about my own
heart at the idea of becoming a father. Madely became
more and more affectionate, and seemed to love me twice
as much as heretofore ; yet she was often in tears. Once,
when I clasped her in my arms, asking the cause of her
grief, and whether she was angry with me, she shook her
250 JOYS AND SORROWS

head sadly, and, clinging close to me, said she was sure
she would not get over her illness, that it would be the
death of her ; that she would not have minded dying at
one time, but now she could not bear the idea of leaving
me; she would also like to see the child, but that could
not be, for she would be dead before it was born. On
repeating these melancholy forebodings to one or two of
the farmers' wives that called to see us, they only smiled,
told her not to be so silly, that she was no worse than
other people under like circumstances. Notwithstanding
this, she continued low-spirited, and the women that called
advised her to take nourishing food, meat and wine. Then
it was that I felt the pressure of my debts and our desti
tution with redoubled force. My salary, which was paid
in spring, was all gone, and our earnings were barely
enough for the ordinary expenses of the household.
Winter came, and brought with it the re-opening of the
school. But this time I did not look forward to the return
of my pupils with much pleasure. I had now many other
things to muse about and attend to. When the school
had fairly commenced, the mornings appeared to me very
long, and I could scarcely have borne their weariness had
I not at least once every two or three hours gone in to see
my wife. She, however, always sent me back again very
soon, telling me she could hear the children getting up
roarious. I tried to persuade her to come into the school ;
she might spin and sew there, I said, quite as well as in
the house, and she had as much right to be there as other
schoolmasters' wives, who squat themselves on the school
oven the whole day, sometimes with two or three children
round them, at other times with none. Madely did not
consider this quite proper ; it would, moreover, she said, do
no good, and might cause them to neglect their work ; she
was not one of those that thought men exist for their
wives alone, nor did she think a man ought to allow his
wife's whims or ailings to interfere with his duty.
One morning, after my poor wife ha'd been suffering
severely for several hours, I suddenly heard a loud shriek.
I rushed in the utmost haste to ascertain the cause, and
was met at the room door by the nurse, who had been
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 251

engaged to attend my wife. In reply to my anxious in

quiries, she told me there was nothing the matter, but that
I had got a fine boy, and that the richest farmer in the
parish seldom had a bigger. After a brief parley I was
permitted to enter, and on taking Madely by the hand, she
uttered faintly a fervent " Thank God," and sank, with a
gratified smile, back on the bed. I was rather at a loss
what to do next ; I thought of touching the boy, but he
screamed out so lustily that I thought it better to let well
alone, and not make matters worse. I put a question or
two to the nurse, but she had her hands so full of one
thing and another, and had so many orders to give the
other women that she had no time to talk to me. At last
she said, " Schoolmaster, do get out of the way, you see
we are very busy."
Without taking offence at this, I went back to school,
rejoicing in my boy, in the safety of my beloved wife, and
silently beseeching God's blessing on them both.

CHAPTER XXVII.
The notion of being a father, excites pleasurable sensations
in most men ; the young father rises a step or two in his
own estimation, and voluntarily assumes a consequential
air. When, in addition, he learns that his wife is as well
as can be expected, he feels as light as a fish in a brook, or
a bird in the air, and in some cases even fancies he can
actually fly. He forgets, in his joy and paternal dignity,
that he is a mere mortal, and that, in spite of his new
honours, he looks very like a stork in a fit. Then, again,
what fancies enter into a young father's head, when he
holds his first-born, especially if a boy, in his arms ! That
he will turn out to be a great personage, is almost beyond
a doubt ; and that the world is waiting on tiptoe for him,
is equally certain. The only thing that puzzles him is, to
know what he will look like when he grows up. He is
firmly persuaded that such a child was never yet vouch
safed to mortal man, that glory and renown await hira^
252 JOYS AND SORROWS

and that all around will gape with open mouth at the
prodigy.
Generally, the young father is guided by his own stand
ing, in assigning titles and dignities to his son. The patri
cian sees him a president of the republic, or, at least, a
high minister of state. The farmer beholds him a high
bailiff, with distended legs, his hands thrust into his waist
coat pockets, standing before his door, whilst four sleek
horses are being harnessed to the dung-cart. The village
parson descries his son in an university professor, who can
digest Greek and Latin as easy as he himself can snuff, or,
if not, at least a cathedral preacher; and, with profound
respect, he bows before the little ecclesiastic, as if it were
already crowned with the highest clerical orders. The
schoolmaster decides in his own mind that his son will
prove himself in the pulpit to be one in five hundred, and
that people will say, " There, now, we have at last a burn
ing and a shining light ! "
Mothers, also, have their fancies; but they are not so apt
as the male parent to imagine their first-born buried in
honours and dignities. They dream of tall, handsome
youths, with rosy cheeks and curly hair ; and there is
generally the shadowy outlines of a magnificent wedding
in the background.
Both father and mother, anxious to see their dreams
realized, feel the intervening period of infancy some
what tardy in passing away. Every three quarters of an
hour they go to the child's cot, to observe the progress it
is making towards maturity ; and, if it sleeps, they almost
feel tempted to wake it, in order to find what change the
preceding half hour has effected ; and, even though the
object of their thoughts be not beside them, the same ideas
are constantly flitting through their minds even more
vividly than when the infant is in their arms. So with
schoolmasters ; they can think of nothing but the wonder
ful gift Providence has bestowed upon them. They get
confused in school, can no longer pay attention to the
reading lessons, often demand wrong answers to questions;
and hence arise very provoking incidents. It is an under
stood thing that a schoolmaster never makes a mistake ;
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 253

but when he goes on insisting on having number three

answer to number four question, and the children produce
the catechism, how is he to get out of the difficulty ?
Meanwhile, for some days my wife continued very feeble
and restless, and though she did not say so, was no doubt
greatly annoyed by the noise and hubbub of the school
room. Just fancy how trying the noise made by a hundred
and fifty rustic children must have been to an invalid in
her position ! Then her father had to do his cobbler's
work in the sitting-room. Had the affair taken place in
summer, things would not have been half so bad ; the
school would have been closed, father-in-law might have
done his hammering on a bench outside, and I should have
had time to attend to the household affairs. As it was,
strangers had to do the housework ; the strokes of the
hammer went on, nor could they be dispensed with so
long as the young mother stood in need of butter soup.
Keeping school had never before appeared so irksome
to me as at this particular time. To shorten the days I
kept my watch going at an extra speed, and when that
plan failed to answer, professing to have some important
business in hand I sent the children home half an hour
before the time; nor did the parents, under the circum
stances, take this amiss.
When my wife recovered, and was able to walk about
again, we had a great many things to talk over, a first
child always giving rise to many weighty considerations.
There was a name to be selected for the boy that would
fit him properly in his future greatness. Now-a-days
people look more to the sound of a name than its meaning.
Formerly parents used to select the name for its signifi
cation. The most of our names are derived from languages
we generally know very little about; therefore the deriva
tion of many of them is unknown to us. This is unfortunate,
as in ancient times the names were designed as admonitions
and warnings to their bearers constantly to ring in their
ears. Now, though we bear an admonitory name, we
either do not know or do not care. Such names as
Frederick, Gotthelf, Godfrey, Theophilus, all have their
meanings; but people pay no attention to them, merely
254 JOTS AND SORROWS

looking to the sound ; only the last, Theophilus (beloved

of God) is frequently used by parents who intend to bring
up their sons for the church.
My wife and I were not quite of one mind on the subject
of the name. She rather preferred Peter, a compliment,
of course, to myself. But as I expected my son to excel
me in all things, I thought him entitled to a more eupho
nious designation. My wife insisted that Peter sounded
beautifully, and no word could be more pleasing to the ear ;
but fancying there was a good deal of prejudice mixed up
with her opinion in this respect, I suggested Johannes as
much more harmonious, and besides being in itself a fine
name, its diminutive Johannesly appeared to me infinitely
softer than Peterly. My father-in-law felt that he had
not much influence in the matter, but hinted the name
Daniel as a word possessing something majestic; besides,
he added, most of the people beyond Murten bore that
name. We contested the point a long time, until at last
Madely, gazing at me in a way peculiar to herself, said,
that since she had a Peter she liked very much already,
perhaps, after all, it would be as well not to have two. So
my name carried the day.
Next there was another knotty point to settle : who
were to be the sponsors ? Neither of us for some
time felt disposed to hazard an opinion on this matter. My
own private impression was that the people of the place
would consider it more or less of an honour to be asked,
and that even those not invited might take offence. Let
no one laugh at this notion, for it is very prevalent, and
did not differ in any way from that entertained by my
father at my own birth. Most young parents think that
because the birth of their first child is an important event
to them, it must be a portentous affair to the whole world
besides. These notions vanish, however, as the number of
the family increases, till at last both father and mother are
ashamed of themselves for having permitted such nonsense
to enter their heads.
Though I thus held the belief that the people of the
highest rank and standing in the parish should be invited
to stand sponsors, 1 did not openly say so to Madely,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 255

thinking she might make the suggestion herself. On my

pressing her to let me know her views, she replied that
perhaps the best way would be to ask our relations, as they
might not object much. If our relations had been high
personages, of course I could not have been otherwise
than satisfied with this proposal, As it was, I told her
that neither of us had many relations ; that mine were far
away and unknown to her, besides being almost forgotten
by myself; that, moreover, the people of the place might
be affronted if we did not ask them. Madely smiled in
credulously ; but in spite of her incredulity, I was even
more obstinate in this than in the matter of the name.
Accordingly it was arranged that two of the sponsors
should be left to my selection and that the third should be
Madely's brother, who was at work a few leagues off.
The parties I had decided on inviting were the district
governor, as the highest personage in the neighbourhood,
and the amman's wife, who had been present at my son's
birth, and had in other respects been exceedingly kind.
The next thing to be done was to call upon and invite
the proposed sponsors to perform the duties of the office.
The amman's lady received me very kindly, and, as a
matter of course, said she would be happy to attend, the
more so that she rather liked my wife, adding, that the
good things of this world would bring no blessing on those
who possessed them if they did not share them with others
less fortunate than themselves.
At the Governor's I fared very differently. After being
kept standing about for a long time, I was received
by the lady, who told me, somewhat rudely, to step in and
wait for her husband, who would be at leisure presently.
He was probably in an inner room comforting himself
with some of the luxuries that his high office had abundantly
bestowed upon him. I had again to stand a considerable
time whilst the lady uncourteously danced backwards and
forwards. She told me, in a few curt sentences, that
herself and her husband were sorely plagued with such
requests as mine, that the people seemed to think the
Governor had nothing else to do than to stand godfather
to the parish children. I had to sustain a succession of
256 JOTS AND SORROWS

these cutting phrases for nearly half an hour, and heartily

wished myself outside the house. When the Governor at
length made his appearance I could scarcely muster courage
to proffer my request. ''Well, schoolmaster," said he,
" I have a great deal of that sort of worry, and as I ought
to look a little to myself now, must really decline having
any more of it ; however, though I would refuse to do it
for any one else, I will put myself about so far on your
account." As in duty bound, I expressed my gratitude
to himself and lady for the honour they were about to
confer upon me, and told them they need not put them
selves to any expense on my account, for that was not the
object of my inviting them. On leaving the house, out of
which I was glad to escape, I thought to myself Madely
was not far wrong in her surmises, but I did not tell
her so.
Next I had to hunt up my brother-in-law. He lived a
good way off, and to walk half a dozen leagues in winter
is no joke, and that, too, for the purpose of asking a simple
question. But there was no use grumbling ; the thing
had to be done, for such are the people and such are their
usages. The brother behaved very mannerly, paid for a
bottle, and as he had had a new suit of clothes made re
cently, I fancy he was rather pleased at being invited,
particularly when he thought of how the people of Gytiwyl
would stare at him in his new garments ; only he was
rather disconcerted when I told him the amman's aged
wife was to be god-mother. He would have much pre
ferred a sprightly young damsel to have been his partner
on the occasion. As I stayed till rather late in the after
noon with him, and was anxious to get home speedily, he
directed me to a foot-path which he said would shorten
the distance by half a league.
The blast blew freshly across the plain, cutting the
tobacco smoke sharply away from my lips. I felt light at
heart, for the last call had been made and the number of
sponsors secured ; in an hour or two more I should be
back home beside my little boy, and kept wondering how
much he would have grown in stature and wisdom during
the day. It is true, my thoughts were not altogether of a
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 257

roseate tint ; dark clouds would occasionally weigh upon

my mind. I knew that day after day Madely was dis
covering- something that had not been taken into account
in calculating our household expenses. Then there was
the terrible debt. But these gloomy clouds flitted quickly
past, chased away by my paternal joys, to which I yielded
my whole heart, and which even sheltered me from the
chill of the keen north wind.
Suddenly I heard a voice muttering in low dull wrathful
tones, " Hallo, halt ! " On looking round, I beheld, a little
way off, a hunter standing with his gun levelled, whilst a
dog kept barking in the brushwood close by me ; next a
hare sprang into view ; I cried out, pointing towards it,
"There! there! look there !" But the hunter, turning
round sharply, scowled in my face. My pipe dropped from
my mouth, for I recognised him to be my old nocturnal
guide, with the fierce moustache. The hare startled,,
made a half turn, and was on the point of disappearing in
the forest, when a loud report, followed by the hissing of
shot within a few inches of my head, rang through the
air. The hare dropping, rolled over on its back ; the-
hunter, springing forward, seized it by the hind legs, gave
it a sharp knock on the neck, and threw it down on the
ground. There the dog began to lick it, and would doubt
less have torn it to fragments, had it not been restrained
by the watchful eye of its master.
I went forward to take a look at the captured animal,,
whereupon the hunter, whose quick eye had recognized
me, growled, " No one but a schoolmaster could have
thrust his nose into the danger you did just now "had I
not seen him beckon me to stop ?was 1 thinking about
my catechising lesson instead of where I was going ? and,
worst of all, why did I begin braying like an ass ? It
appeared to him that I had neither eyes nor ears, though
I might have a throat. It was a lucky thing for me that
his gun was so good, else I might have got the shot in
stead of the hare.
I excused myself as well as possible, but felt excessively
annoyed that he should thus a second time begin abusing
and ridiculing myself and my profession. " Surely," said
258 JOTS AND SORROWS

I to him, as he reloaded his gun, " you must have strong

reasons for entertaining such a marked antipathy to school
masters in general, and myself in particular. The first
time I met you, you dismissed me with sneers, and now
you salute me with insults ; can I have offended you in
any way ? "
" Schoolmaster," replied he, " if you had called upon
me, I should have told you the reason of my dislike to
your profession, and if you had been curious to know, you
would have called ; but unless people take the trouble to
praise and flatter, you pay no attention to what they say,
and that is the reason you remain what you are."
I replied, that if I had been able to find his place,
I should perhaps have paid him another visit, though he
did not receive me with overmuch courtesy the first time ;
besides, I had a good deal to do, having married, and so
forth.
"Well," said he, ''if you like to come along with me
now, I do not mind giving you a few of the details; they
may be of service to you." I told him I could not think
of tarrying at present, I had been absent from my wife
some time longer than I had expected, consequently she
might be uneasy about me as it was, but that I should be
glad to hear his reasons for abhorring schoolmasters some
other time. He smiled, and gave it as his opinion that
my wife would be very glad if I would stay away from her
a bit, and not keep myself constantly tied to her apron
strings ; wives, he said, generally, did not like to have their
husbands lounging about the house all day long. " But
schoolmaster," added he, thrusting the hare into his bag
headforemost, "although you do not appearto be veryinquisi-
tive, I may take it into my head one of these days to give you
a call. If all schoolmasters knew what I have to tell them,
many of them would flourish their coat tails less jauntily
about, and, if I mistake not, you yourself would be a wiser
and a better man, if you knew exactly what a school
master is thought to be by other people."
When my mustachoed friend had finished speaking,
the dog, which had been sniffing about very industriously,
giving a yelp, ran off, and the hunter, with his gun on his
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 259

shoulder, posting after it with great strides, soon disap

peared in the forest, leaving me in a state of bewilderment.
He had vanished like a spectre, and the occasional yelps
of the dog sounded more and more faintly till they died
away in the distance, the animal seeming to me quite as
mysterious as its master.
I had made enquiries about the latter in the village, and
all I questioned about bim shook their heads suspiciously.
Some of them said he was a robber chief, who had fled
from foreign parts ; others, that he was a native of Swit
zerland, but having murdered his own father, had to keep
himself in concealment. According to a few, he had slain
his master, a rich officer. The bulk of the villagers, how
ever, were of opinion that he had sold himself to Satan,
and practised here all sorts of black arts. In confirmation
of this last opinion, they adduced a number of proofs, so
that I was almost inclined to share in their belief. These
reports not being very reassuring, I was in no hurry to pay
him a visit.

CHAPTER XXVIII.
Thb solemn ceremony of having my first-born baptized
now engaged my attention. I went very decently through,
the business, and also through the still more trying ordeal
of the christening feast that followed. I took Madely
home a large basket of good things from the inn, and
though she thanked me very affectionately for keeping her
in mind, still she said there was no need for my being so
extravagant. The amman's wife had been very kind and
very liberal to her; besides several of her old school com
panions had brought her presents, but they had taken
good care, at the same time, to remind her of the affair
at the well, and how she had helped me there to scrub my
coffee can.
After school next day, my wife strongly insisted upon
my paying, if possible, the nurse and the inn-keeper, telling
me she could not sleep in peace till these expenses were
cleared off. The amount of the tavern bill I did not yet
260 JOYS AND SORROWS

know ; the landlord had said he would have to consult his

wife about it, and that there was no hurry. I therefore
collected all the money we had in the house, and found it
to amount to eight thalers twenty batzen. Taking the
whole of it with me, I started for the inn, not without
some degree of alarm lest the bill should exceed the sum
I possessed.
The inn-keeper took me into his private room, and
reckoned up on the table with a piece of chalk the quan
tities of tea, bread, meat, and wine we had consumed.
After he had written down a goodly list of eatables and
drinkables, " Schoolmaster," said he, "for the things that
you and your party have had, I should charge an ordinary
customer a louis d'or, not a fraction less, but you I shall
let off for five thalers ten batzen. I know our folks do
not pay you a very high salary ; I have never made you a
present ; you have not plagued me about anything, and
have not, like some other people, been constantly at my
door." Having dreaded a longer bill, I paid him the
money willingly, and almost scrupled at drinking the wine
he set before me, saying that I did not like the idea of
robbing him both right and left. " Oh," he replied, " you
need not hesitate ; I shall take good care to make the next
christening party that can afford it pay for you as well as
themselves ; I treat my customers according to their cir
cumstances."
This idea of charging the poor a little less and the rich
a little more, and thus equalizing his own profits, struck
me as not bad. On the other hand, it is to be feared that
some landlords treat both rich and poor very much the
same, chalking down a few extra bottles of wine alike to
both.
The nurse also was very moderate in her charges. She
only asked one big thaler, so that I returned home with
forty-five batzen in my pocket. But on these we had to
live for three months, for my extra earnings during the
school season amounted to little more than nothing. My
father-in-law also had little to do in winter, so that we had
all to fare very frugally indeed.
There were a good many things wanted for baby that
 0 A SCHOOLMASTER. 261

it had to go without, Madely consoling herself with an

axiom of her mother's, that cleanliness was the main point
with a child, for soap and water made it both healthy and
cheerful. It really would have done any one's eyes good
to see how careful she was of the little fellow, how
tenderly she handled him, never using him as a mere
pretence for doing nothing, and never taking him about as
some mothers do, who run gossiping with their infants in
their arms amongst the houses of the neighbours, wasting
other people's time as well as their own.

One of Madely's household whims' rather annoyed me,

particularly as it specially affected myself, and it was some
time before I found an opportunity of talking to her about
it. She lost a great deal of time in repairing and mend
ing. At the beginning of winter she spent one whole day
filling up the holes of the coat I wore in the school-room.
On that occasion I hinted there was scarcely much use in
taking so much trouble with the coat, as it would very
soon be full of holes again. To this she replied, that the
mending was an amusement to her, that she took pleasure
in such work, and now she would mend the holes at once,
as soon as they made their appearance, and not wait till
my clothes got all full of rents again.
I thought this was one of the delusions peculiar to the
feminine mind, that would very soon pass away ; but I
was mistaken. No sooner did she detect a hole or
a loose button about me than she flew at it with a
needle. Sometimes she would make me take the gar
ment off, but not when the sewing could be effected
without. When the injury was of a serious nature,
the mending was postponed till the evening, and if she
could not do it then she got up earlier in the morning,
but would never suffer me to go into the schoolroom with
a defect in my apparel. Frequently she stopped me to do
some repairs at a moment I had to do something or go
somewhere, and I began to reckon up how much time
was lost in this, as I thought, extremely stupid way.
One day I was brooding over a funeral oration when
Madely laid hold of me to sew a button on my shirt
262 JOYS AND SORROWS

collar, which was projecting outwards somewhat goitre

fashion. Then I harshly, the first time since our mar
riage, desired her not to torment me. It would he hetter,
I said, if she would turn her hand to something useful ;
did she not see, as well as I, how pinched we were even
for a mouthful of bread ?
She gazed on me with a scared look, and said tearfully,
" Do not be angry, Peter; I shall wait till you are at
leisure, but how can you reproach me with idling away my
time, when you see I am working both early and late ? "
The tears began to flow at the same time very freely,
and so it always is with women ; they take a reproach for
general that is only applied to a particular transgression.
I had therefore to explain that I did not accuse her of
idleness, but with frittering away her industry in work
that produced no profit; it was better, surely, for me to
wear a ragged coat than to have good clothes with nothing
in their pockets; besides, T was not proud, and did not
want the people to think I was growing rich.
My little wife was a little vexed, though not angry, at
these petulant remarks ; she did not even look sulky,
mildly entreating me to let her have her own way in these
things. She promised to neglect nothing on that account,
but, if I prefered it, would do that sort of work early in
the morning. She did not like me to go into the school
with ragged clothes, for she knew it had a bad effect. She
then told me that a former schoolmaster used to go about
for all the world like a beggar ; the children used to amuse
themselves by counting the holes in his clothes, and by
estimating the value of his dress, and, though he was
known to be a very talented man, neither the children nor
their parents paid him the slightest respect. She should
not like to see me looked upon in the same light as that
worthy man had been ; besides, it did not seem to her be
coming in a schoolmaster to be seen in tatters; dairymen
and farm -servants wore soiled clothes at their work, but
surely there was a difference between schoolrooms and
pigsties, and also between children and cows ; pride had
very little to do with the matter, on the contrary, when
old things were carefully mended they always look decent;
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 263

if she had not mended my every day coat, it would have

been in rags by this time, and I should have had to wear
my Sunday one.
Just then the child awaiting smiled upon her, as if to
say, " Yes, mother dear, you are quite right."
We took up the infant, and kissed it the one after the
other, and thus came to an understanding all the more
readily, that I saw clearly enough mother dear was not
far wrong. Our first-born smiling sweetly upon us became
a sort of Justice of the Peace, and so our first quarrel was
soon forgotten.

CHAPTER XXIX.
The school children did not look forward to the approach
ing examination with a greater amount of eagerness than
did my wife and I. The evening before this important
event, we counted our store of ready money, and found
it to consist of nine kreutzers; but we had incurred no
new debts, the organ encumbrance being our only liability.
The examination passed off much as the preceding one,
only as I anticipated less praise, I met with fewer dis
appointments. The minister on this occasion did not
hazard any out-of-the-way questions ; he only ventured a
slight criticism, which I did not feel very acutely. It was
to the effect that the children had not been taught com
position, having in all their exercises written from some
printed book, consequently none of them were capable
of writing a letter. In self-defence, I told the minister
that I had made some of the children write without look
ing at a book, but the only result was a good deal of
annoyance to myself; the parents objected to the proceed
ing, on the ground that I kept back their children by not
allowing them to copy from a book as well as the others.
The minister then turned to the committee, and favoured
them with a lecture on the principles of calligraphy and the
art of composition. The committee looked straight before
them, and seemed to say, You may talk till you are hoarse, if
you choose, on such a subject ; but, seeing he neither intended
264 JOTS AND SORROWS

to get hoarse, nor let them off without an excuse, the dis
trict judge said that the children had always been accus
tomed to write from a book, and as the book used was
the Bible Selections, surely to copy that was much better
than to permit the children to scribble any kind of non
sense that came into their heads. This brought out a
rejoinder from his reverence, who pointed out that there
was no necessary relation between writing and religion ;
but the district judge was of a different opinion ; he thought
writing and everything else in school as well as in church
should be based on religion ; the children had to be made
acquainted with their faith when they were young ; they
had no time for even that when they were grown up, their
daily labour then requiring all their attention ; the earlier
we were taught religion the better; when we got too old
to work we might take the matter up again, but many
of us might die in the interval, and to prepare us for the
world to come, was, he thought, the great object of all
education. The minister agreed with him to a certain
extent in his views, but suggested that religion entailed
upon us certain duties in this world as well as preparing
ourselves for the next.
After each of the children had received the usual batzen
as prize money, the treasurer proceeded to hand me over
my salary, and my hand almost trembled as I grasped the
long-expected and anxiously waited for twenty-four thalers.
I felt half inclined to run off home at once to Madely with
the money, but had to stay till the minister and committee
men had taken their departure. In my impatience I
thought them fearfully slow in their proceedings. At last
they went away, and I hastened out, but was delayed by
a woman selling rolls and cakes to the children. She
as ked me whether 1 would not buy one for my little boy.
As I had got hold of my hard-earned wages, I thought
I might indulge in a little extravagance, and so bought
four of the white rolls at once.
Schoolmasters, on such occasions, generally take their
wives to the tavern in the afternoon, and as that would
require a larger outlay than the cost of four rolls, I could
not be reproached with being wasteful. We shared the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 265

four rolls amongst the three of us, and baby smacked

away at his portion of the unwonted delicacies in a way
that did our hearts good to see him. The opulent can
scarcely imagine how greatly the poor enjoy a trifling
luxury that rarely comes in their way. A rich man cannot
possibly conceive how sweetly a roll of wheaten bread
tastes to a poor peasant; so in the case of a piece of juicy,
fat, well-cooked meat, the flavour of such a dainty will
remain in his palate for years ; at times long after he re
collects the taste of it as vividly as if he had been par
taking of it that very honr. A king cannot participate in
such enjoyments ; to him nothing being rare, everything
is more or less vapid or tasteless ; and this, perhaps, has
been designed as a compensation for the apparent injustice
of an unequal distribution of the good things of life.
My little wife was quite electrified with delight when I
poured the twenty-three thalers and the twenty-one
groshen out in a heap on the table before her. " Now
Peter, dear," she said, " we shall be able to buy such a
many of the things we want so badly, but let us first of
all lay aside ten thalers for the organ."
This I did, and she shrank back when she saw how the
heap was diminished ; and when we had taken enough
away to pay for the necessaries we required from the
grocer, she almost cried at seeing how small the remainder
had become. Being summer, however, the current ex
penses were to be paid out of our earnings, so that the
rest of the money was stored up for extraordinary emer
gencies. We again reckoned on the flax and hemp
harvest as well as on some corn we had sown ; but as
Madely could not now be so much out of doors, the
child requiring a portion of her time, we did not expect
the same quantity as the preceding year, though now we
required a little more, there being an additional consump
tion. In order that as much time could be given to field
work as possible, the child was taken with us, and put
to sleep on my coat, which I had to throw off when at
work, but it would often awake, and then one or other of
us had to attend to it. We could not leave the boy with
his grandfather, for he did not like nursing much ; besides,
266 JOTS AND SORROWS

of late he had not been very well, and almost required

nursing himself. What with the field work and the child
together, I did not make much progress at the loom, and
not unfrequently, when I had commenced plying my shuttle
very industriously, somebody would be pretty sure to come
in and say, " Schoolmaster, I want you to do a little writing
for me."
This letter writing business took up a great deal of time.
The people that came could never tell me what they wanted
written ; they would tell me a long story, mixed up with
all sorts of extraneous matters, from which I had to glean
material for the letter. Meantime, whilst I exercised my
ingenuity in bringing order out of the chaos, my visitor
would coolly fill his pipe with my tobacco, saying that he
had forgotten his own, or that mine was better in quality.
When I finished the letter, some of them would simply
say, " Thanks," and walk off; others- would ask if there
was any pay. In this last case, I generally said it was
scarcely worth while to charge anything. The variety of
observations this reply brought out is somewhat curious.
Some of them would say, " Very well, when we meet I
shall pay for a choppin ; " but often a sort of half offer
would be made, which, out of courtesy, I would meet with
a half rejection, and this sort of fencing is very usual in
cases where a thing is done for which no regular charge
can be made ; both trying to be civil, the one presses and
the other politely refuses. This goes on till the one takes
what is offered before the other ceases to press, or till the
other, fearing his offer will be accepted, buttons up his
pocket. The grand point is, for the one to pounce upon
the right moment to accept, or for the other to button up
his pocket in time to prevent the acceptance without ap
pearing anxious to avoid disbursing. Thus, when the
offerer finds the rejecter about to yield to his pressing, he
says, " Well, I do not want to force the money upon you,
so have your own way;" the result is, that the rejecter,
by losing the opportunity, has lost his chance.
People are not conscious of these manoeuvres, practising
them instinctively as ordinary matters of course. Some
times, when I had lost a good deal of time over one of
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 267

the letters, and was rather pressed for ready money, if

asked whether there was anything to pay, I would reply,
"Well, I have had a little trouble; you may give me any
thing you like." Generally, in this case, I would get half
a batzen, rarely a whole one ; but occasionally the person
would rummage a while in his bag, and say, " I have no
change, schoolmaster, I will give you something another
time; be sure to remind me of it." As, however, the
schoolmaster would take good care to do no such thing,
who is to blame if the other, relying upon being reminded,
forgets the whole affair ?
A few of my letter writing customers, without question
or compliments, would at once put their hands in their
pockets, and pay me a fair price for my labour, but sensible
people of that description were, unfortunately, rare in the
neighbourhood. When I had been long in the school
room, where those kind of matters were usually transacted,
Madely would, perhaps, look at me full of expectation,
and ask if 1 had earned anything. When I replied that
I had not, she looked a little vexed, and this at last gave
me courage to ask a small coin from all those who could
afford it.
Time passed on. My wife again grew plumper and
paler, complaining as before of pains in her limbs. On
this occasion I neither spoke about a doctor, nor did I
commit myself with the neighbours ; the matter was too
serious for any nonsense. Though winter had not arrived,
our little store of money had been broken into, and we
had not paid the ten thalers towards the organ. Another
baby would force us to procure a little bed for the elder
one, and we began, not without reason, to feel somewhat
alarmed. Madely, when she thought of the heap of money
we had had, and how it had all dwindled away in spite of
our extra earnings, said she must be a bad manager ; yet
she could not recal to mind a single thing we had bought
that could have well been dispensed with. There were
many things we very much wanted that we had not bought,
and we had not spent a single kreutzer at the tavern.
What appeared most singular was, how other people con
trived to get on, who had no means of coming into such
268 JOYS AND SORROWS

a heap of money at once as we had ; they seemed to suffer

no want, had more children, and always had the means of
joining in the ordinary village amusements. These re
flections made her lose courage. Thinking the blame
rested with herself, she said it would be a lucky thing for
me if she were to die, then I could get another wife that
would manage better ; but, on the other hand, the idea
of my marrying again made her very sad and sorrowful.
In my endeavours to console her, I reckoned up what
we had laid out, and what we had still remaining of the
stores laid in, so that I could easily acquit her of any
fault. But it was impossible for me either to relieve her
or myself of uneasiness as to the future. Our earnings
had not amounted to so much as we had anticipated. Un
expected demands occur in the humblest households ;
clothes will not last for ever, and coffee cups will get
broken ; besides, the year having been none of the best,
we had less flax to sell,_and bread was dearer.
If we put all these things together, and consider how
heavily a multitude of trifles weigh upon an income of
twenty-four thalers a year, no one can accuse us of the
wastefulness, improvidence, or want of management, people
are so fond of ascribing to schoolmasters.

CHAPTER XXX.
Thb proverb says that the greater the affliction, the nearer
we are drawn to the Lord ; and we were no exceptions to
the rule. At first our child was our only solace in grief,
and our only shield from despair. Often when my poor
wife found her heart sinking within her, and I could only
sigh with her, or at most say, " Have patience, things may
mend," our little boy became his mother's comforter.
Stroking her cheeks, or concealing his little head on her
bosom, he would playfully look into her face. Then she
would forget her wretchedness, and think only of the
little treasure she held in her arms ; joining in his gaiety
she would become as a child again herself to share in hisjoy.
This was a great blessing to her, for amidst her sorrows
 OF A SCHOOLMASTKll. 269

and melancholy forebodings she had an occasional happy

hour. It was an attribute of her own cheerful disposition,
for she cherished the gladsomeness of her child, instead
of poisoning its infantile joys with her cankering sorrows.
Parents always have hours of gloom and periods of serious
reflection; their heaven at times becomes overcast, and
the prospect before tbem looks dim. Happy are they when
their children, like zephyrs, chase away the dark clouds ;
when the children's heaven clears and illumines theirs. To
such, children are blessings that will soothe their declining
years, and the youth of the children themselves will be
cheerful and happy ; for what is not a contented mind
able to bear, and what deprivations will it not endure
without repining? On the other hand, what can avail all
the possessions of the earth when the mind is cast in
gloom and darkness, through which no joy, not even the
smile of a child can penetrate ?
Sometimes the morose or afflicted parent meets the
child's gaze with a sullen or weary countenance. Its smiles,
instead of being mirrored on his or her countenance, are
smothered by a sour regard. It is, perhaps, told to be
quiet, to get out of the way, or they say, See what you
have been doing ; there you are in a mess again, and so
on. When it attempts to coax its ruffled parent, it is
told not to be troublesome; let me alone; or to go and
do something. When a child in this way constantly sees
only thunder-clouds and showers of rain in the parental
visage ; when it hears nothing but the roar of the thunder
and the splashing of the rain in the paternal voice, then
its heaven becomes overcast ; its cheerfulness dies within
it ; the days of its childhood are embittered ; the playful
infant becomes first a cheerless boy, then a discontented
man. Many such wretched beings drag a miserable ex
istence through the world, carrying with them a discon
tented mind, regarding God and man with bitter discontent,
and die discontented as discontentedly they have lived.
Of this sin we were not guilty. Our child's smiles
never encountered a frown. But it did not always smile ;
it often lay playing with its own arms, and was often
asleep. Then the mother, having no comforter, sometimes
270 JOTS AND SORROWS

would seek consolation in the prayer-book, but more often

in the New Testament.
" Peter," said she one day, after musing for some time,
" for what purpose do you suppose the Holy Scriptures
were given to us ? " " That we may believe in them, and.
obey the injunctions they contain," I replied. " Then,"
said she, " listen," and she read the following passage :
" I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what
ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, nor yet for your body,
what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat,
and the body than raiment ? Behold the fowls of the
air : for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather
into barns ; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are
ye not much better than they ? Which of you by taking
thought can add one cubit unto his stature ? And why
take ye thought for raiment ? Consider the lilies of the
field, how they grow ; they toil not, neither do they spin :
And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his
glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if
God so clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is, and
to-morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more
clothe you, O ye of little faith ? Therefore, take no thought,
saying, What shall we eat ? or, What shall we drink ? or.
Wherewithal shall we be clothed ? (for after all these things
do the Gentiles seek) for your heavenly Father knoweth.
that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first
the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these
things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought
for the morrow : for the morrow shall take thought for
the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof."
"You know these verses, Peter dear, do you not?"
inquired my wife. I had to acknowledge I did.
" How is it, then, you did not tell me of them, and why,
knowing them, do you give way to sorrow as much as
myself?" To this I replied, that it was impossible to bear
everything in the New Testament in mind, and that it
was even difficult to keep the Commandments in one's
memory. ,
" But, husband, are we not commanded to live accord-
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 271

ing to the ordinances of our Saviour ? And here we are

told not to be anxious about the morrow, yet we have not
even attempted to lay aside our anxiety, at least I have
not. Now is this not a great sin ? Ought we not to
trust a little more in God's goodness and mercy than we
have done ? Is it not a part of our faith that God blesses
them that love Him and obey His commandments ? And
does He not tell us we are not to grieve and be sorrowful
about what may happen to us ?"
" Well, wife," said I, somewhat perplexed, " we cannot
always be thinking of these things."
" Very true, husband," continued Madely, " but listen.
I am no schoolmaster, and have not had much experience,
but I think it is wrong of us, when we know that the
Scriptures are God's own holy Word, and have his or
dinances written on paper before us, that we should allow
them to remain on the paper, and not take them into our
hearts. If we had them there, they would be always
ready to guide us at the right time, whereas if we allow
the Scripture to remain Scripture, we remain what we are.
We read the Bible as if we were merely performing a
piece of labour, and as if the matter we read concerned
us not. I have been reading and thinking at the same
time over every word, and all at once a singular comfort
has come over me. I have not felt so easy in mind for a
long time. Just now I was pondering over these verses,
and I begin to think we have been wrong in not obeying
the commands they contain. After all, we have no just
reason for despondency; we have never yet risen from the
table hungry ; we are all healthy ; God has given us many
comforts others do not possess, and at least one blessing
in our little boy. Our despondency, therefore, besides
being a transgression, is really not justifiable."
In presence of my wife's very sensible remarks, I stood
like a schoolboy rebuked, regarding her as an example of
the great truth, that what is hidden from the wise is mani
fested to the simple-minded, and what the trained intellect
cannot comprehend is lucid to the uninstructed. Therefore,
calling to mind another passage of Scripture, " Wife,"
said I, ''the battle is not to the strong, neither is the race
272 JOYS AND SORROWS

to the swift; they only who wrestle hard with the flesh
will he rewarded in the spirit, consequently I agree with
all you have-said."
She then called my attention to another passage, which
tells us that whoever believes and accepts the Word in
faith and in truth, builds his house on a rock, and will not
be subject to every blast that blows, nor to every whim
and caprice of the mind. From this passage also she told
me she had derived much consolation.
* * * *
At last the hour of trial arrived. Madely bore a girl, a
strangely beautiful child, with large deep blue eyes that
had in them an indescribable lustre ; full of expression,
they inspired all who gazed upon them with a kind of awe ;
so mild were they, and at the same time so marvellously
intelligent, we involuntarily thought the child had brought
them from a more exalted world with greetings to us from
on high. Even the women who attended my wife during
her illuess could not help admitting the child's eyes were
very curious and somewhat unusual, and even unearthly.
Whoever noticed the mother gazing into her child's eyes
could not forget it ; to me it seemed as if two angels were
trying to release themselves from their mortal coil, and
take wing into the realm of spirits. We were both im
mensely proud of the lovely child, and forgot for a time
our troubles and miseries. Even papa shoemaker expressed
himself delighted with it, saying it was an exact picture
of his late wife.
On the third day the infant became restless, and seemed
always as if calling for some one with great anxiety. A
child never calls for its mother in vain, and when she took
it up in her arms, it became somewhat more tranquil, but
still something remained in its look bespeaking great
suffering. By its gaze it seemed as if labouring to tell
its mother of some severe pain. We did not then think
it meant to express its regret at leaving us so soon. Con
vulsive fits of shuddering often flashed through its little
body, and we did not imagine that when it concealed the
pupils of its eyes, as if to hide its agony from us, that
it was in order not to startle us when they closed for
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 273

all time. An overpowering fever seemed striving to ex

tinguish the scarcely awakened life ; the wrestling with the
malady was evidently severe ; the child's lips sometimes
became of a blue tint, seemingly from internal suffering.
A neighbour's wife, whom we invited in to look at it, told
us at once, without further ado, that it was all over with
the child, that it had the nightmare, and that it would very
soon cease to give us any more bother. After saying this,
she hurried off, observing, she had to attend to the pigs,
and that the mess she was boiling for them would get
wasted if she did not make haste.
My wife trembled all over, and sat down with the child
in her arms. Addressing herself to me, she said earnestly,
" Husband, do beseech the Almighty not to deprive us of
the child ; it would be cruel to punish us so." I took the
prayer-book, and sitting down beside the dull lamp, began,
half weeping, to read a prayer for the sick as devotionally
as I could. " Ah, not so, Peter, not so," she said, " that
is of no use ; there is nothing about our child in it ; pray
to Him to spare her." I turned to another part of the
book, and read another prayer still more devotionally than
the first. "Ah, that is no good; pray from your own
thoughts, only about the child." I rose up from the lamp,
my heart full of anguishanguish about the child, anguish
that I could not pray. I never had prayed out of my own
heart. Then, in her agony, my wife fell upon her knees,
and called upon God: " Oh, Heavenly Father ! leave us the
child ; do not take it back again ; it shall be thine, shall
be our angel and thineshall be the Saviours own through
all eternity. We will rear it carefully as a precious gift ;
we will no more give way to sorrow, and bear every hard
ship meekly and patiently. But the child ! the child ! do
not take it ; leave it to us, for thy Son's sake."
Fervently she looked upwards, the tears streaming from
her eyes, the child in her arms pressed closely to her breast.
Then she felt a convulsive motion near her heart. Looking
down, she observed the child stretching out its little limbs ;
becoming still, it looked full into her face, a smile passed
over its featuresits little eyes slowly closed. The smile
seemed to wing its way upwards like an angel, and with
274 JOTS AND SORROWS

it departed the spirit. The little body never moved again

the wondrous eyes were closed for ever !
The wretched mother now looked up to heaven with an
air of reproach. The convulsion that had left the heart
of the child seemed now to have fastened upon her own.
Sobbing violently, she bent over the lifeless body, still
hoping to detect a sign of life. When she found no vital
spark remained, she tottered towards the bed ; she laid the
body upon it, and throwing herself down beside it, appeared
overcome with boundless wretchedness. I too was horrified
at the terrible scene, but my wife's still more deplorable
state roused me from my stupor. I spoke to her, but a
kind of cramp that had seized her body prevented her
answering me. Fearing she would be suffocated, I threw
some water on her face, which seemed to give her some
relief ; but when I attempted to take the infant's body from
her to place it in the little bed, she would not allow it to be
moved, and silently motioned me to leave her. Accordingly
I sat down, without uttering a word, beside my almost
inanimate wife and the dead child.
In the dim light of the lamp I began to think what
would become of me, if mother as well as child were taken
away. Tears came into my eyes at this dismal reflection.
Meantime, the little boy slept in his cot sweetly and soundly,
his little arms bent together over his head ; and cheerful
dreams called a fugitive smile into his little cheeks. His
father's griefs and his mother's sorrow he saw not ; the
perishableness of all earthly things he knew not ; none of
the sombre shadows that filled the room troubled his peace
ful slumbers.
Thus I sat, almost motionless, all the night through, the
only sounds that met my ear being the smothered sobs and
deep-drawn sighs issuing from my wife. Once or twice,
when I asked her how she was, gently pressing my hand,
she whispered to me to be silent. The morning began, to
dawn, and soft rays of light to penetrate through the win
dows ; as if full of compassion, they were removing,
gradually and guardedly, the veil of night from the scene
of death. At length objects became perceptible in the
disorderly house ; the faint beams fell upon me as I sat
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 275

half asleep on a chair; then they shone upon Madely's

folded hands, and upon the golden curls of our living
child.
Starting up from my weary dreams, I was moving off
to the kitchen to prepare some warm coffee, of which we
all stood very much in need ; but my wife, stopping me,
begged me not to go away, for she had something to say
to me. Then she told me she could not describe her feel
ings when she first knew the child was dying in her arms.
For the first time in her life the fountain of prayer had
been opened up within her, and she had poured out her
soul to the Creator. That her prayers would have been
answered she doubted not ; she had thought that if she
had asked a kingdom it would have been vouchsafed to
her. And when she had finished her prayer the child was
dead ! Then she felt as if a burning hand tore her heart
from her bodyas if a thousand mountains had been hurled
on her breastas if an unfathomable abyss had opened to
swallow her up in eternal darkness. Her faith forsook
her ; an impious voice thundered into her ear, There is no
God ; an eternal nothingness stared her in the face ; her
horror was unutterable. She clung to the little body of
the child, in the hope that like it she might become un
conscious of earthly suffering and mental torture. The
tempter had taken advantage of her bodily weakness to
whisper into her mind that man was nothing more than a.
living corpse, without a God above him, and with no eter
nity before himnothing but an everlasting grave, No
one can conceive the awful sensations that arise when the
mind that has clung firmly and lovingly to the hope of a
bright hereafter is deceived by the voice of Satan calling
out, " There is no Godyour faith is vain ! "
" For a time I did not know," continued Madely, " whe
ther I was alive or dead; I could not collect my thoughts.
Gradually a perception of the actual state of things around
me returned to my mind, but for very long I could not
find God. Like a drowning person, I grasped at every
straw, trying to reason myself into faith ; but the tempter
kept muttering in my breast, If the Bible were true, and
if a God existed, my child would be alive. Is it not said
276 JOYS AND SORROWS

in the Bible, * Whoso asks, to him shall be given, and

whoso knocks, to him it shall be opened ? ' I asked, but
I received not; I knocked, but was refused admission. My
misery grew more unbearable. Black, cold, terrible de
spair had woven its meshes round my soul ; my body was
near to death, and I felt as if constantly passing between
a dream and a swoon. At length it seemed to me that a
little spark began to light up the darkness of this gloomy
night ; faintly glimmering, it gave out very little light,
but in this faint gleam 1 saw again that smile of my child
which hovered on its face before it left us. Presently it
seemed to me as if the child had come to life again, and
was smiling to some one with tenderness and trustful con
fidence. Up out of the darkness came a form lovely to
look upon, to whom the child held out its little arms. The
figure took up the child, laid one hand upon its head as if
to bless it ; and behold ! little wings sprouted out from
the infant's shoulders, and, turning its face to me, its eyes
sparkled joyfully with the brightness of carbuncles. In-
Btantly I saw that the form holding the child was no other
than our Lord and Saviour. He raised his hand to me, as
though to say, Woman, if thou hadst had faith ! Then I
noticed in his hands the marks made by the nails of the
cross, and called to mind how He too had known great
sorrow, and had prayed, ' Father, if it be good in thy
sight, let this cup pass from me, yet not my will but thine
be done.' And the cup of sorrow did not pass from Him,
He drank it to the last drop ; but He rose again on the
-third day, so that what was written might be fulfilled. And
as I thought that, the light grew larger and glowed like
the sun; the two forms became more and more angelic,
and looked at me with increasing tenderness. I felt as
-though whole beams of love penetrated my heart, and in
a splendour which my eyes could not bear, the Saviour
and the child both vanished away.
" As soon as the light was gone, the mists of doubt
-once more harrowed my soul. 1 supposed the whole beau
tiful apparition to be a dream, and thought evil spirits were
hovering about, scoffing and laughing at my credulity.
Though in a singular state of dreamy unconsciousness, I
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 277

was able to reason and contend with the Evil One : the
demons had almost overcome me with their fierce burning
scorn, but I wrestled bravely with the temptation. The
bright vision had passed away, but it had left an anchor
of safety behind it, and I clung to the words, ' If it be
good in thy sight, let this cup pass away from me ; yet not
my will but thine be done.'
"The more powerfully the doubts welled up, and the
more sneeringly the evil spirits scoffed, with the more
tenacity I clung to these words, and the more fervently I
prayed, uttering over and over again, ' Not my will, but
thine be done.' The words appeared graven on my heart;
they warded off the attacks of the evil spirits, strengthened
my own agitated mind, and my faith returned to me, and
said, There is a God, a good and wise God, who hears the
prayers of his children whilst He chastises them.
" I became contrite and humble, and aware that I had
seriously transgressed against the heavenly Father, for I
had not committed the life of my child to Him, as the
Saviour had done his sufferings. I had demanded it from
Him with impetuous urgency. I reflected not that He in
his wisdom and goodness knew best what was good for
his erring creaturesthat short-sighted mortals ought to
be glad that the Almighty watches over them, refusing or
granting according to his wisdom, and not according to
their changeful desires. Then I vowed most fervently
never more to doubt in Him and in his goodness and
mercy, but to commit everything to his care, and never
again to allow myself to be stricken down by sorrow ;
always to remember the blessings He grants us, and not
with a worldly mind to ponder and fret over his dispen
sations.
" All this," she continued, " I had found myself able to
say to the All-merciful, just as I have told you. My heart
has been opened, I know not how. I did not utter the
words aloud, yet an unspeakable consolation came over me
when the conviction dawned upon me that I might com
mune freely and frankly with the heavenly Father, and
that He is always ready to aid and comfort me. Moreover,
I now know that the death of my child was not a punish
278 JOTS AND SORROWS

ment, but a voice of God. The heavenly Father knew my

weaknessknows that I am far away from and a stranger
to Him. Taking compassion upon me, He has sent one
of his myriads of angels to call me nearer his throne. The
angel has assumed a child's form, keeping only its heavenly
eyes, and with these the little messenger drew me towards
the Father, held me fast, and did not let go till we were
both safe in his bosom. Since the child was an angel, it
could not have remained in the world, but must have died.
That it died gladly, and knew that it had saved its mother,
was surely evident from its smile. And since God has so
highly honoured me as to call me to Him, I will remain
consecrated to Him. May I have the strength 1 "
Thus was my wife purified and made holy. The child had
become an angel to her, and having stretched out its little
hand, had led her across the high threshold that separates
the earthly heart from God. The child drew, with angelic
power, and the mother passed the threshold and walked
with God, fulfilling every duty in His name, loving all in
His love, judging no one, but giving them over to the
judgment of Him who says, " I will repay ! "
Thus did a dead child confer a great benefit upon its
mother. And so, mothers, can other dead children confer
a benefit upon you. All of them are angels sent to con
duct you to God ; not to estrange you from the world and
its duties, but to enable you to bear its hardships and resist
its temptations. Unfortunately, you do not all hearken to
the voice that calls you, nor do you understand the language
of angels when you hear it. Still, living children also are
messengers of God. They are sent to sanctify the parents,
to elevate, protect and guard them ; but how do many of
you treat these blessings of heaven ?
Other angels wander about the earth. The flames of
the fire are messengers of God, and so are torrents of water.
Beggars even the Lord sends out as messengers to call us
through them to wisdom, prudence, and mercy. Stones
are placed in our waythe dew falls at our feet ; these
also are messengers denoting His strength and beneficence;
through them, ever and anon, His voice touches our hearts.
He appears to us in every bush, and in every brook that
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 279

issues from the rock. Would that we had eyes to see Him
in all his manifestations, and ears to hear his ever-sounding
voice.

CHAPTER XXXI.
A solemn tone had taken possession of our hearts. Our
house appeared as a church, and it seemed as if the Lord
had come to dwell amongst us. An irrepressible power
impelled me closer to my wife, and we did not, during the
so-called honeymoon, feel or display a more tender regard
for each other than we did now ; only there was something
more pure and more enduring in this fondness. Our affec
tion for each other had been tried in the furnace, and had
been purified into boundless love. In this I stood infinitely
below my wife ; but the conviction that she stood above me
in constancy as well as strength of faith, caused me to sym
pathise more readily with her feelings, and to cling to her
for protection from the tempests that were passing over
our heads.
All this hears testimony to the great truth that every
thing becomes a blessing to those who believe. But very
different is it with those who do not. A married couple,
for example, that think only of the vanities surrounding
them, are usually at the bottom of their hearts wholly de
voted to self, and if a misfortune befalls them, it estranges
the one from the other. Watch such a married pair when
a beloved child is snatched away from them by the hand
of deathwhen distress comes upon themwhen hopes
dissolve when wishes burn but cannot be extinguished,
or when disease casts one or other on a sick bedthen
their inmost thoughts find vent in words ; things that were
cunningly concealed under the artificial tinsel of fond looks
or counterfeit expressions of endearment, all come to the
light of day. The one thinks the other in fault ; both be
lieve that if they had never met, such misfortunes would
not have happened to them; neither liking to bear the
burden of distress, push it to each other, becoming vexed
with each other's mode of viewing the calamity. From
280 JOYS AND SORROWS

this annoyance proceed angry words, and they stand in

the same relation to each other that a horse does to a bridle
entangled amongst its feet: the horse kicks the intruder
away, but it still rubs against its fetlocks ; the bridle may
at last break, but not till the foot has sustained consider
able damage. So it is with the godless couple : the con
tinuous irritation breeds suffering; the greater the suffering
the greater the discord, till at length the struggle termi
nates in a rupture. So to sinful minds every calamity has
a threefold bitterness.
My wife and I now frequently talked over spiritual as
well as worldly matters ; but we never allowed these dis
cussions to interfere in any way with our daily labour, the
most trifling duties being attended to with the same con
scientious zeal as those of higher import. But these con
versations regarding holy things prevented our ascribing
to insignificant incidents an importance that did not belong
to them. And, indeed, we greatly needed some such anchor
of support on which we could rely, for we experienced to
its full extent the truth of the axiom that misfortunes
never come single, and that Job only fared like other
mortals.
Scarcely had our grief for the loss of our child subsided
than another woe took its place. Madely's father had be
come seriously ill. He had long been ailing and scarcely
able to work, but now he was frequently attacked with
faintness and other alarming symptoms. One morning he
had seated himself on his stool to mend a shoe for a little
boy who was waiting, and shortly after commencing work
he fell headforemost on the ground. The boy, frightened,
made a great outcry; rushing in, we found the old man
lying in a state of complete unconsciousness. We placed
him on his bed, but he never uttered a word. A doctor
was sent for, who, after opening a vein and ordering us to
use some embrocations to stay the fast ebbing life, told us
that the patient had been seized with a fit of apoplexy.
I felt greatly alarmed lest this event would have an in
jurious effect upon Madely, who was again about to become
a mother; but Providence often grants those in distress
wonderful strength, and so it was with my wife in this
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 281

instance. Without neglecting her ordinary labour, she

attended diligently to all the wants of her disabled father,
who lingered in a condition of speechless prostration for
about six weeks, when God in His mercy called him to
Himself.
On the day of the funeral, I beheld for the first time
all Madely's brothers and sisters collected together ; but I
did not like the appearance of any of them half so well as
that of my little wife. They seemed all indifferent about
the death of their father and very cool towards us. After
the body was interred, a dreadful tumult arose amongst
them about their claims to the property they expected the
old cobbler had left behind him. The bread they had
eaten, the wine they had drunk, the grave-digger that had
buried their father, were all as yet unpaid ; still they in
sisted on dividing amongst themselves the few wretched
articles of furniture the old man had brought from his
own cottage to ours, leaving us of course saddled with the
debts, for of these not one seemed disposed to pay a share.
Madely's wrath, though it did not overpower her under
standing, was fairly kindled by their rapacity, and it fell
upon them like a shower of grape shot. My wrath had
also begun to boil ; but I had been so often imposed upon
and cheated that, like the eels, I had got used to being
skinned ; yet, though I swallowed my indignation as usual,
I did go so far as to mutter some unintelligible grumbling,
and clench my fist in my breeches' pocket. They did not
divide the things; each took possession of what suited him
best, defying the others to wrench it from him. To us
they left nothing but such lumber as was not worth carry
ing away. They also took with them a great deal of ill-
will, hatred, and other tortures of narrow, selfish minds.
Madely almost broke down under this new affliction.
The unseemly covetousness of her relations ; the irritation
at being wronged by them, and at being obliged to part
with them all in anger, preyed upon her spirits, and she
wailed and lamented the trials I had to undergo on her
account; she would have borne all the bitterness of their
conduct quietly, had she not thought that I and the child
were being despoiled as well as herself. As it was, she
282 JOTS AND BORROWS

could not refrain from speaking out and telling them her
mind ; she felt in such a passion with them that she could
have blown them up had they been a regiment of soldiers.
I could not help telling her that I admired the courage she
displayed, and that even I myself had felt half afraid of her
at the time, and that I should not feel comfortable if she
manifested the same spirit every day.
Still there was one consolation to be derived from this
energetic display of indignation. Madely felt conscious
that she had not let off the delinquents who had treated
us so badly without some punishment, and I, in having
discovered in my wife a quality I did not suspect her of
possessing. I knew before that she was capable of en
during much hardship, but her resoluteness and ability in
resenting an injury, I had not observed till now.
Under existing circumstances we both stood much in
need of both endurance and resolution. We were now
totally unable to pay off our debts, and were still exposed
to the necessity of contracting more. Matters, however,
for a time were not quite so gloomy as we had anticipated.
Dysentery became epidemic in the village, and I was daily
called upon for funeral prayers and orations. This windfall
got us over a stile or two. God knows I did not rejoice
at the deaths, neither did I yearn for them, but when they
did occur I cannot say I ever felt any reluctance at taking
. the half-florin that was usually paid me on such occasions,
nor did I seriously refuse more than that sum when it was
offered me, much less reject the meat and bread the heirs
of the deceased sent me on going into mourning.

Another girl was born to us, and we fancied she was an

exact resemblance of the one we had lost ; but the women
about would not admit this. In the first place, the other
girl had death-eyes, that is, eyes which no baby can have
and live ; besides which, there were other points of differ
ence, obvious at least to them.
We sometimes sighed when we spoke of my old father-
in-law, and thought how delighted he would have been
with the new little girl. Then we used to regret his de
parture, though we could not disguise from ourselves that
 0F A SCHOOLMASTER. 283

it was as well he was gone, for we must have fared a great

deal worse than now had he been amongst us. My wife
having to attend to the baby, there was no one to look
after the boy, so I took him with me into the schoolroom,
where the girls often fell a quarrelling about who was to
have him to sit by their side ; but though my wife permitted
me to do this once or twice, she would by no means suffer
it to become a regular practice. What, said she, would I
say if other people sent their infants to school ? They had
as much right to send theirs as I had to take mine, and
indeed, of the two, such a means of disposing of these
plagues during working hours, would be far more advan
tage to them than to me.
True, replied I, but people would not take it into their
heads to send very young children to school, and one child
does not create much disturbance ; besides, it was a very
common thing for schoolmasters to have two or three
children running about the schoolroom. I once saw two
myself in a school not far off only the other day ; both of
them, moreover, had faces so begrimmed with dirt that
you could scarcely recognize the white of their eyes ; the
one kept roaring as if a spit had been run through him,
and the other was flourishing about a cane in such a
manner that the pupils had to keep their heads out of the
way. Of course I admitted that was not seemly, and I
did not approve of it, but then our little boy was so man
nerly, so docile, and so quiet, that it delighted my heart to
see him, for he acted just as if he thought he would be a
schoolmaster one day himself.
But in this matter, as in many others, Madely was de
cided and resolute. She at times would have been very
glad to have got rid of the boy, but she would not hear
of his being taken into the schoolroom, except at rare
intervals. " It is of no use," she would say, " for you to
tell me he creates no disturbance." She knew well the
bother she had at home to keep him at peace ; besides,
the girls that took charge of him must neglect their lessons,
and if he is allowed to run about, they look at him instead
of their books ; then the parents might say they did not
send their children to school to nurse the schoolmaster's
284 JOTS AND SORROWS

babies, since they had enough of that kind of work for

them to do at home.
As regards taking my little boy to the schoolroom,
Madely carried the point, as she did in many other matters
of domestic discipline. Any other schoolmaster's wife
would have said that not only the children should be taken
into the schoolroom, but they must be taken there when
it was necessary to get them out of the way ; it was of
very little moment to her if they set up a roaring enough
to shake the tiles off the roof, she did not hear them, and
it was not her business to keep them quiet there. But
Madely did not happen to be one of those wives who
think their husbands exist only for their convenience, nor
was she one of those mothers who yield to the children in
all things to keep them from screaming, and who do not
know that the more a child has its own way, the more it
will cry and roar and scream. On the contrary, in such
matters she had more good sense than the majority of
schoolmasters' wives, and even than some schoolmasters,
more especially myself.
By not allowing me to take the boy into the schoolroom,
she drew all the more work upon her own shoulders ; but
instead of making a doleful face she exerted herself more
energetically, and it was a real pleasure to observe how
handy she was, and how adroitly she managed the two
children at once. When, in order to get little Peter into
the schoolroom for an hour or two, I expressed my regret
to see her so overburdened with work, she would not at
all admit she had more to do than she could attend to ;
she declared that she could manage it all easily enough
that everybody had been sent into the world for some
purpose, and that one ought not to think a little extra work
a great hardship ; that in all situations of life there is
sometimes less and sometimes more to do, but we ought
to be content in the one case and not grumble in the other;
every simpleton can at times be comfortable and at ease
when there is no hardship to be endured, but to be active
and not feel pained by it is an art confined to sensible
people ; besides, so-and-so and such-a-one were a great
deal worse off than herself, yet they got on very well ;
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 285

how they contrived to get through all the household work

and attend to the field labour besides, she really could not
tell ; she would be ashamed of herself if she did not get
through what she had to do, and still more so if she did
not do it willingly.
One might suppose that such Solomonic reasoning would
have shut my mouth ; but no such thing. Men, taking
them generally, are thoroughly stupid. Calling her at
tention to those who were better off, farmers and shop
keepers for instance, who could keep nurse-maids, I said
that so-and-so could not get through so much as she did,
else she would not pay for a servant to do it for her, and
therefore I did not see how she (Madely) could be expected
unassisted to do the same amount of work.
I could not help thinking, however, that many a man
would be happy if his wife were always contrasting her
self with persons below her rank in life, or with those that
had more hard work to get through than herself. There
are such wives, my own being a case in point, but they
certainly do not fall to the lot of every man. Numbers
of husbands, almost every day of their lives, have to reply
to some complaint with such a remonstrance as, Look,
wife, Mrs. So-and-so has not got such and such a thing,
yet she manages to do very well without it ; Mr. and Mrs.
What's-their-name have greater annoyances and have to
put up with more inconveniences than we have, yet they
are very comfortable and happy for all that. The wife,
nevertheless, prefers comparing her own condition in life
with those who can afford greater luxuries, whereby a
constant gnawing discontent is produced and kept up,
and poured out upon the head of the miserable husband,
converting many a well intentioned and good meaning man
into a brute or a tyrant. How happy would such men not
be if their wives possessed the contentment of mine ! To
effect such a change in his wife's temperament, who would
not gladly walk a goodly distance with peas in his shoes ?
Yet I, dolt that I was, did not comprehend this, and ac
tually tried to argue Madely out of her endurance, though
such a quality in a woman, besides being extremely rare,
is too delicate to bear much handling.
286 JOTS AND SORROWS

Fortunately I had more luck than sense; that is, I

possessed a wife whom I could not argue out of what her
instinct told her was right. She knew that all could not
fare alike, and that many who can command more comforts
and who seem better off, bear a secret burden on. their
shoulders that a beggar would be reluctant to change for
his wallet. Her own impressions told her clearly enough
what course of conduct woidd most likely conduce to her
own comfort, and she sometimes felt half inclined to laugh
at my arguments, and tell me that I had better not trouble
my silly head with the household affairs; times might come
when we would be worse off than we were now, which
she considered it her duty to prepare for, without antici
pating or dreading them, for evils might happen to us that
we had then no conception of.
In saying this, it almost seemed as if my wife had been
endowed with the spirit of prophecy; for, shortly after I
received a message, stating that my father was on his
death-bed, and if I was desirous of seeing him once more
alive, I had better lose no time. This message was de
livered to me by an itinerant dealer in poultry, and as he
had received it several days before, so much time had been
lost. I determined, therefore, to start off as soon as the
school was over in the afternoon, and Madely had just
made me a cup of coffee to fortify me for the journey, when
another message arrived, announcing my father's death,
and giving me notice of the day on which he was to be
interred.

CHAPTER XXXII.
Some weeks after my return from my father's funeral, there
came one evening a knock at the door. Madely was
nursing; so I thrust my head through the little window to
see who it was. No sooner had I done so, than I drew
it back again in utter amazement, exclaiming at the same
time in tones of alarm, " It is my mother !"
" Whose mother ? " inquired Madely. " My mother !
my mother ! she has some luggage in her hand ! " replied
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 287

I, in a tremble. " Very well," said Madely, rebukingly,

" why do you leave her standing at the door in the cold
wind ? " whereupon she rose up, admitted the old woman,
and welcomed her very affectionately.
It was not, however, without good cause that I had felt
alarmed. Unexpected events produce ideas in one's head
with the rapidity of lightning ; not isolated thoughts, but
a whole train of them generally converging to a climax,
agreeable or disagreeable according to the nature of the
subject uppermost in the mind. In my case, the conclusion
the ideas that flashed through my head arrived at was of
the most unpleasant kind. It became perfectly evident to
me that my mother had been turned out of her house, and
had come to claim a home in mine. In a moment I ima
gined a vast number of annoyances calculated to create
for myself and my wife a whole future of miseries. For
this reason I had drawn in my head from the window as
if it had been struck by a real flash of lightning, and
when Madely entered with my mother, I almost forgot to
offer the latter my hand.
The old woman sat herself down with an air of vexation,
and said she never thought it would have been her fate
in life to come to a schoolmaster's wife, she knew how
little they cared about people who had nothing to give
them, and she fancied Mrs. Kaiser did not differ from the
rest of them ; still she thought it was nothing but fair her
children should do something for her, since it was all
owing to them she had come to want. Children, after
their parents have spent their last kreutzer on them, go
away, one in this direction, another in that, leaving them
beggars. She, for her part, would care very little about
her children if she could manage to do without them, but
as it was, she had worked enough already, and thought it
was now time for her to rest a little.
Whilst she was unbosoming herself to us in this fashion,
my wife, without apparently being angry at her words, after
making some coffee, invited her to take some and to make
herself comfortable. My mother had evidently taken it
into her old head that her wretchedness had been caused
by her children, and, in her embittered mind, she had
288 JOYS AND SORROWS

resolved to make them suffer for her misfortunes, but, un

fortunately for me, I was the only one she could operate
upon. It appeared that my good-for nothing younger
brother had enlisted as a soldier, and gone abroad ; as to
where my sisters were, and what they were doing, I was
told I had better not inquire. In passing under review
the disappointments her family had occasioned her, the old
woman did not appear to think she had been to blame in
any way ; of the partiality she had shown to the others,
and her harshness to me, she took no notice, nor did she
seem to be aware that by bringing up her children to be
a torment to her, and helpless as regards themselves, their
ruin in some degree was her fault ; neither did it occur to
her that, though the conduct of the other children might
have impoverished her, I had no hand in it. On the con
trary, she ascribed all her miseries to me ; had I stayed
at home, she said, and not run away like a scoundrel,
things would have turned out better; in those days they
were doing very well, but my absconding made a difference.
I attempted to demonstrate to her, that she and my father
had literally driven me out of doors by their constant ill-
usage, but my efforts in this direction were in vain, at all
events she meant to punish me for the delinquencies of the
entire family.
It may appear to the reader that I am heartless in speak
ing thus of my mother, but amongst the peasant class
around us, affection between parent and child is the excep
tion, ill-will and hatred the rule. Of the paternal estate,
my mother was my only inheritance, but in one respect
she was a rich heritage : she taught my wife and me to
bear many tortures with patience, and enabled us to dis
cover that we could withstand the grand test of charity, by
displaying a willingness to forgive seven times seventy
times every day. My wife especially profited greatly by
this trying discipline, but it was not without advantage to
myself. If people would only think of the benefit their
souls derive from such burdens, they would not regret
never having received a kreutzer from their parents. Pro
vidence sometimes places people at the sides of others to
rid them of impurities. Let most of us open our eyes,
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 2S9

and count up the blessings of this kind granted us, and

they will be ashamed of themselves for having been dis
satisfied with their inheritance. True, they may not be
able to appreciate that kind of beneficence, and they may
even be inclined to grumble about it. To such persons I
can only say, they must not expect Providence to mete out
her gifts to them as if she were a district judge.
Hitherto, though we had not exactly kept aloof from
other people, yet we had kept our own domestic troubles
to ourselves. Together we had borne good fortune and
bad fortune, without calling in others to share in either.
We made neither our joys nor our sorrows a matter of en
tertainment for the farmers around us. My wife took no
pleasure in recounting to the neighbours my infirmities or
my unreasonableness; nor did I think of complaining to
them of my wife's wastefulness, of the money she spent
unnecessarily, or how little she contrived to earn. These
matters we wisely locked up in our own bosoms. I have
generally observed that when a husband begins to com
plain of his wife, he has relinquished his peace of mind
for ever ; he will scarcely ever meet with a woman who
does not admit that he is perfectly right, and that his house
hold is grossly mismanaged.
Our domestic affairs were like a closed press, into which
nearly all the gossips of the village were anxious to thrust
their inquisitive noses, and the person who had the longest,
or rather the most inquisitive nose in the place, was a
woman whose cottage was no great distance from ours.
Under pretence of the warmest sympathies and best in
tentions, she drew out from her unsuspecting victims all
their grievances ; people confiding to her their secrets as
if she were a sort of mother confessor. When she came
across a servant girl, she would stretch out her hand with
an air of perfect frankness, remark, she thought her victim
looked paler than usual, was certain she did not like the
situation she was in, and no wonder, for others had said
they never could like the place. Thus she would blandly
coax the girl into giving her a full, true, and detailed ac
count of all that passed in her master's house. Nor did
she stop at mere curiosity ; she yearned to have a finger
u
290 JOYS AND SORROWS

in everybody's pie, and had even a sort of hankering desire

to rule the village, fancying herself to be by far the wisest
matron in the parish, if not in the canton. Dispensing
counsel and cautions everywhere, she would say : You
must not do so-and-so, the thing must be done in such-
and-such a way, otherwise you will undoubtedly go wrong ;
to strengthen her counsel, she would cite a number of illus
trations of people she had rescued from despair or prevented
drowning themselves in the village horse-pond. The only
thing that puzzled us was why she did not apply her wis
dom in managing matters better at home, for there was
great room for improvement in her own dwelling.
She was well enough off as regards the world's goods,
this gossip, but her children were indolent and disobedient.
She accounted for this, by stating she had foretold they
would be ill-behaved. The people she insisted on ad
vising were not quite so silly as she fancied them to be :
they would take a glance occasionally at the way she
managed her own affairs, and even hint to her that there
was not much wisdom displayed in her domestic arrange
ments. To this she replied, that if she did not confine
her experience to herself, she herself was the loser, not
others. Still, people could not help thinking her own
welfare concerned herself more than others ; at all events
they had as much right to censure her conduct as she had
to advise them.
There were two things that made all this meddling the
reverse of salutary. The woman was always talking of her
good heart and kindly feeling, apparently with some amount
of truth, but which many suspected to be used merely as
cloaks to her vanity and selfishness. It was a common
practice with her to get Mrs. A. to state some suspicion
she entertained about Mrs. B., and, straightway walking
off to the latter, would insinuate that she had better be on
her guard against Mrs. A., who seemed to have a grudge
against her, and so forth.
An acquaintanceship between this woman and my mother
very soon sprang up ; we had no way of knowing how.
At all events, by this means she became intimate with
other women in the village, and would stay away from home
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 31

often for a whole day together. At first, we were rather

pleased at this, on my mother's account, for, at all events,
it prevented her from getting weary and ill-natured at
home, and we entertained hopes that such a change, by
improving her temper, would make her more cheerful, but
it had no such effect ; day by day she became more and
more discontented. This we could not wholly account for,
till one day the wise gossip, chancing to descry Madely
attending to her vegetables in the garden, said, " You have
got out into the sun, have you ? that is a great deal better
than sitting in the shade, billing and cooing ; and how is
your mother-in-law ? she is a very decent, worthy woman
that; you really ought to treat her a little better, to give
her more to eat, and not to grudge it."
This advice she gave in a motherly kind of a way, so
that Madely could not possibly take offence at it ; there
fore, she replied, with an astonished air, " Why, my
mother-in-law fares better than we do ourselves, and she
is never grudged anything." " So you may think," re
joined the gossip, " but if all accounts that are flying about
are true, you plague and starve her; now you might
manage matters a great deal better without putting your
self to any extra expense ; I am merely telling you what
everybody is saying over the whole village, and I sincerely
pity the poor mother-in-law who is so ill used. Good bye
now, but tell your husband that people think it is not
becoming in a schoolmaster to treat his mother cruelly."
Now the riddle was solved ; the source of my mother's
increasing acerbity was detected. What passed in my
wife's mind, or whether a severe struggle had taken place
in it, I know not. When I first saw her after this inter
view, her eyes were red, and evidently enough she had
been weeping : nor could she be otherwise than annoyed
when she felt that though we had done all we possibly
could to make my mother comfortable, the old woman had
been trotting about amongst the villagers complaining of
ill usage and starvation, particularly as we had reason to
fear that all the farmers' wives would take her part, because
we made no complaints, and sought no confidants. I pro
posed calling my mother to account; but Madely would
292 JOTS AND SORROWS

not hear of it ; she preferred bearing her wrongs in silence;

besides my expostulations would perhaps only increase the
evil. I was obliged to admit all that, as highly probable,
and could not help wondering where my young wife had
obtained so much Christian forbearance and worldly
experience.
In truth, my mother was a heavy burden to us both.
She earned nothing, and many a time I paid a batzen or
half a batzen away with a trembling hand to get her some
luxury or to pay for a bottle of her medicine, instead of
attending to the wants of my wife and children. Our
distress was materially augmented by this new pressure,
depriving ourselves of every thing we possibly could do
without ; my heart was nearly broken at the thought of
the hardships my family were undergoing. My wife did
her best to console me, urging that I ought not to lose
hope so long as health remained to us, reminding me, at
the same time, that we possessed what many were without
peace and tranquillity between ourselves; we had no
wrangling like our envious neighbours ; we might not
have so many good things to eat, drink, and wear, but we
faithfully stood by each other. Still when our children in
autumn, their legs blue with cold, crept close to the oven
owing to our having no money to buy them stockings, my
wife's eyes would occasionally become a little moist.
Our slender stock of ready money gradually dwindled
away, less and less coming in from our extra earnings.
We had then to get necessaries on credit and delay longer
and longer in paying them off; and as our liabilities
augmented, the weight upon our hearts increased. It is a
painful thing for persons evidently in straitened circum
stances to ask credit. In such cases it is not given
willingly ; on the contrary, people seem to consider they
are being asked to give their commodities away for nothing.
Still worse it is when poor wretches have to begin a new
score before the old one is cleared off. Then their walk
to the shop becomes slower and more halting, and the
face of the shopkeeper becomes longer, his mien more
unfriendly, and a hint is dropped that it is usual to rub off
the chalk when the board is filled. With a heavy heart
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 293

the debtor makes promises he knows perfectly well cannot

be fulfilled; meanwhile his own appetite is effectually
destroyed for that day at least.
Many parents when in difficulty, instead of encountering
the sour faces of their creditors, send their children to
them when additional credit is wanted. This is one of the
cruelest and most pernicious phases of parental tyranny.
It either hardens the child's mind or makes it abashed and
shamefaced, causing it to lose its courage and its joyous-
ness, its little head hangs dejectedly, and it never again
recovers the expression of happiness peculiar to youth.
Let us observe a child sent by indigent parents to obtain
some necessaries without money. It starts off with ala
crity, hoping to procure bread and milk to appease its
own hunger. It has to wait a long time whilst a consul
tation is being held in the back parlour, and at length it
receives the answer that this time the things will be
supplied, but if it comes again for anything on credit till
the old score is paid off, it will get turned out of the shop.
It returns home with this message : but next morning, for
all that, is again sent off on the same errand : it is told to
say that father has gone out to get some money, that he is
just finishing a job, or something of that sort; the child
goes and tells these lies as it is bid, and if refused at one
place, tries another. Timid children often object to
undergo this ordeal, and are beaten in consequence, then
thrust out of the house by main force, their teeth chattering
and limbs trembling, to go and beg food in this manner.
Should they return unsuccessful, they are again beaten, or
they are furnished with a fresh supply of lies and started
off afresh. Just imagine the effect of such cruelty on a
child. We ourselves were in great straits, but we never
dreamt of inflicting such horrors on our children.
Madely took the disagreeable business of getting things
on credit upon her own shoulders. She did not like it,
but she did not complain. I saw, however, by her uneasy
air and heavy step, how distressing the task was to her
feelings. I thought it unfair that she should undergo all
the sufferings arising from the operation ; so I resolved to
take it off her hands, at least for a time. It had a good
294 JOYS AND SORROWS

effect when the schoolmaster himself went to obtain a

kreulzer's worth of milk on credit: the people sneered
much less, for, after all, it did not add very much to their
own dignity. Now and then a word was dropped by the
shopkeeper's wife, and occasionally they asked me if the
milk was for my mother.
When I awoke in the morning and felt that I must go
and solicit the day's food from our creditors, a shudder
passed through my frame, nor did this task fortify me for
performing my school duties properly, particularly after
having been refused milk in one place and bread in another,
and having had the greatest possible difficulty in procuring
these necessaries for my hungry family. All the bitterness
of poverty was concentrated around me: I saw nothing
but wretchedness, felt nothing but wretchedness, there
was wretchedness for me on rising, and wretched dreams
awaiting me on going to bed. Madely and I wept together,
and we had no comfort save that of pouring out our sor
rows to our Father in heaven.

CHAPTER XXXIII,
Once, on a stormy October afternoon, we were sitting
very disconsolately together. My mother had given us a
brief release from her society by going out to some of the
neighbours' houses. We had been digging some potatoes
when rather a violent storm came on and those playful
children of winter, the snow flakes, after coursing about
our eyes and ears, had finally driven us from the field to
take shelter behind the stove ; and now, as if vexed at our
having escaped them, were lashing in immense masses on
the door and on the window panes. It was just the sort
of weather to enjoy a snug comfortable home ; and, despite
our miseries, we could not help feeling a sensation akin to
pleasure when the notion crossed our minds that at least
we had shelter and fuel, and were not altogether without
food.
I remarked that a little coffee would not be amiss ; but
my wife, on going into the kitchen, finding that all the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 295

milk would be required for the children, brought me some

bread and told me that, after all, that was the staff of life.
" Yes," replied I, taking the bread and giving her a kiss,
" with you and the bread together I shall manage very
well."
I perhaps saluted my good little wife rather more heartily
on this occasion than usual, and was not in the least aware
that a fierce looking face had been gazing all the time at
us through the window. Madely was the first to observe
it, and, starting all at once, she leaped several paces away
from me, and, in a state of the utmost trepidation, ex
claimed, " Gracious goodness, whatever is that?"
I looked round, saw nothing ; but presently there was a
tremendous thump at the street door. I felt somewhat
ashamed at being detected in an unscholastic attitude, and
Madely appeared quite frightened out of her wits when she
heard the hammering at the door. Instead of answering
the knock, I began to think who it could be, and before I
had made up my mind on this point, the door was almost
kicked off its hinges, and my friend of the forest with the
terrific moustache stalked inside the room. Potz Blitz !
how scared Madely was *. and not without reason, for he
was covered over with snow, and behind him trotted his
dog, which was quite black.
Our visitor smiled sneeringly as his eyes wandered from
the one to the other of us. 1 sat looking as stupefied and
as silly as ever a schoolmaster did before, and that is saying
a great deal. '' This is your wife, I hope, schoolmaster,"
said he. " Yes," replied I, " it is." " Oh, very well then,
it is all right enough, you have no reason to be alarmed,
quite the reverse." Saying this, he first offered Madely
his hand, and then he offered it to me, telling us he had
been in pursuit of a hare which had led him a long dance ;
he had been caught in the storm, and thought he might as
well return me the visit I paid him once. He then told
us he had some difficulty in finding me out. At first he
did not in fact know where he got to; eventually he
stumbled upon a road and came to a house ; finding an
old woman inside, he asked her where he was. She stared
at him a long time, and at last declared she would not tell
296 JOTS AND SORROWS

him; she did not want to be made a fool of: every child
knew the village was Gytiwyl,and he was as likely to know-
that as other people. " She did not, however, object to
tell me the direction in which the schoolhouse lay, so you
see," he added, satirically, " I have found you out at last."
Making himself quite at home, he first of all cleaned his
rifle and placed it in a part of the kitchen where it was not
likely to get rusty. Then, pulling off his shoes and gaiters,
he handed them to my wife, saying, " Just hang these up
near the fire, but lake care they do not get burned, other
wise you will have my moustache about you face." After
she had hung up his things, he said to her, without any
kind of ceremony, " Now, schoolmistress, just see if you
can find us something warm to drink."
The schoolmistress, as he called her, went accordingly
into the kitchen: but immediately called me. I went.
She asked who the impudent fellow in the room was, and
where I had got acquainted with him; adding that she
could not make him any coffee, because she had no milk.
I told her briefly how I had stumbled upon him, and more
over that he was as much a stranger to me as he was to
her. I had never seen Madely so cross as she was now.
She desired me to tell him she had no milk, and could not
get any. With a heavy heart I re-entered the room and
reported the state of affairs in the kitchen to our guest.
He laughed and said he had not asked for milk; the coffee
would do very well without, only he would require a little
sugar, and a taste of brandy to give it a flavor.
With a still heavier heart I returned to the kitchen and
delivered this message. Madely grumbled crossly that
she could make the coffee if it must be so ; but as for
going out in search of brandy and sugar for a person
neither of us knew anything about, that was totally out of
the question. I stood on the door step between the
kitchen and parlour in the highest perplexity, not knowing
whether I should go in or remain where I was. At last
Madely desired me to tell the gentleman she would make
him some coffee, but could not give him either brandy or
sugar.
I again entered the parlour and commenced rummaging
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 297

a cupboard as if in search of something ; taking up a little

basket and a little box, I looked into them, put them
down, and taking them up once more, examined them
very closely. After occupying myself very diligently in
this way for some time, the man with the moustache asked
me what I was looking there for, and whether I kept my
kirschwasser in a basket. " No," replied I, " but we keep
the money in it sometimes." He laughed right out, and
said that there did not appear to be any there now at all
events ; but that I was just like other schoolmasters ; they
never had anything in the house that was wanted, and
never had any money to supply the deficiency. Placing a
thaler on the table, he added that he had not come to feast
at my expense, only he should have to trouble me to fetch
the materials for a repast, not to make a fuss, and to tell
my wife he would not put us to any more trouble than
what was absolutely necessary to make us comfortable.
After a consultation with Madely, I went out to make
the necessary purchases ; and on my return found her no
longer cross ; on the contrary, she was quite friendly with
our unbidden guest; and he, on his part, looked at her
with a kind of pleased air. Being somewhat astonished, I
-scarcely knew what to think of this change in the aspect of
affairs. We all sat down, however, very amicably together,
our guest having asked us to share his meal with him. He
then opened the conversation by remarking that he sus
pected wc fared no better than the households of other
schoolmasters. As for himself, though he regretted our
discomforts, he was of opinion that it served the others
perfectly right : there might be a well-intentioned man
amongst them here and there, but the majority were a set
of humbugs scarcely fit for clearing a pig-stye.
Of course, as I had heard him give utterance to this
opinion two or three times before, I felt considerably
annoyed ; but, without evincing any irritation, I remarked
that though there were schools that might not be quite
perfect, still it did not follow that the bulk of them were
improperly managed. He, however, insisted that the
whole were bad, and that the only difference lay in some
of them being worse than others : he had never yet
298 JOYS AND SORROWS

come across a school where the children were taught

anything.
" But surely," I objected, "reading, writing, and arith
metic, are something, to say nothing of religion." Yes, if
the children were taught these things that would be every
thing absolutely necessary ; but they were neither taught
the one nor the other ; and if any of them did ever acquire
any one of the three, he was fairly of opinion they were
indebted to their own diligence, or to some other person
than the schoolmaster for it. As for religion and other
branches of education supposed to be taught at schools,
they put him in mind of counterfeit coins. Ignorant
people took them readily enough as genuine ; but when
they had occasion to make use of them, found them utterly
valueless.
Yet, urged I, as regards religion, the Catechism is surely
genuine enough, and that most of the children in my school
knew by heart: he was welcome to try them, either with
the questions at the beginning, or the end. " Very
possibly," returned he, with a smile, " they know as much
about the end as they do about the beginning. I myself
learned everything that a celebrated teacher could teach
me, and for three years was the top boy of the school.
But. when I ran away and entered the great world, I found
all my learning to be counterfeit, discovered that I had
learned nothing whatever, and had to begin again afresh :
either my schoolmaster had been an ignorant man himself,
or out of jealousy or some other reason had not taught the
children what he did know."
It was impossible for me to deny that as regards writing
and sums, the teachers did not purposely withhold what
they knew from their pupils ; but I contended that such
was by no means the case as regards religion ; that subject
was taught fully and fairly; the children had no other
means of becoming acquainted with it other than the
school; schoolmasters were especially appointed to give
instruction in that branch of knowledge, and some of them
devoted so much time to it that they entirely neglected
everything else.
" That is highly probable ; but schoolmaster, allow me
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 299

to ask you, what is religion ?" said our guest suddenly.

Staring at the questioner with open mouth, it was some
time hefore I could answer his singular question ; at last
I replied that religion consisted in doing no bad action, in
saying one's prayers, and in reading the Bible.
The man with the moustache smiled. " I thought
religion to consist in the same things as you do," said he,
" till I found out my mistake. What is more, when a
youth I was thought to be a particularly clever fellow, in
fact a sort of prodigy in learning. My father would some
times give the tavern table a heavy blow and declare that
if his son Benz had been born to a richer family, he would
one day have been Governor or President : he can reply
to every question the schoolmaster puts to him, and was
never very much at a loss for an answer to any body else.
My mother also would sometimes go to the catechising
class, and, placing her fat arms across each other, would
listen with the- utmost delight to my glibness in going
through the questions. 1 would repeat the last syllables,
or even the whole of the last word, after the schoolmaster,
and never missed fire. When the old woman returned
home she would say to the servant maids that Benz was
a real scholar ; she really believed if I were to catechise
the schoolmaster he would be far more at a loss to answer
my questions than I was to answer his. Some of the
maids accordingly asked leave to go and hear me at the
class, which my mother readily granted. I valued my
reputation, and also took great pleasure in being ranked as
the cleverest boy in the school ; but I had no idea then
that the Catechism was of any use except as an instrument
by which these results could be arrived at. I had certainly
heard it spoken of as the basis of our religion, but what
the word religion actually signified I had no more idea
than you have yourself.
" I was a strong, robust, thoughtless, headstrong, self-
willed youth, the son of a well-to-do farmer, and like most
young men of that rank accustomed to use very bad
language. I was constantly running after the girls em
ployed about the farm. Obedience to my parents did not
belong to my system of morals, and I was accustomed to
300 JOYS AND SORROWS

give my mother the most impertinent answers, and even

ventured to treat my father in the same way; and the
more insolent I was, the better pleased they seemed to be.
I was as great a torment to the neighbours as I was to the
people at home, and nothing gave me greater pleasure than
to fight with and thrash a boy bigger than myself. As for
our duty to one another as fellow-christians that was never
referred to under the paternal roof except it chanced to be
alluded to as one of the questions in the Catechism ; my
parents, like myself, at that time knowing nothing more of
genuine religion than a schoolmaster.
" At last, the way in which I had been brought up re
sulted in my being obliged to abandon the place of my
birth. My father, who was a farmer of the old school,
would allow no iron forks in the stable, because he said the
men sometimes used them in driving about the horses.
Somehow I had an aversion to wooden forks: indeed I
disliked anything that bore the appearance of a command
or a restriction; therefore, when I had to remove the
stable refuse, I always used an iron fork, for which I
frequently got scolded; my father even told me if he
caught me at that again, he would pitch both myself and
the fork into the pond. One day a young horse proving
restive, I could not get it out of the way to remove the
litter ; I knocked it on the feet without avail ; I gave it a
crack with the shaft of the fork, whereupon it struck out
lustily with its hind legs, but luckily only grazed my side.
The blow, nevertheless, having knocked me down, my
passion was thoroughly roused, and I struck the animal
forcibly on the haunches with the fork. Bleeding and in
great pain the horse threw its legs about more fiercely than
ever, and whilst the three prongs were still sticking in the
wounds my father appeared.
" A brief glance made him aware of how matters stood,
and with a few ejaculations he dealt me a well-aimed blow
that sent me reeling against the wall. This, in addition to
the horse's kick, made me furious, and I attempted to
return his blow with the fork in the same way I had treated
the horse; but he was a powerful man, and had even
attained some eminence as a wrestler: grasping the fork
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 301

with his iron fist, he wrenched it from me; a hand to hand

fight ensued, in which I freely used my teeth and my
wooden shoes ; but these weapons of offence appeared to
have no more effect on his tough skin than flea bites :
throwing me down, he took hold of me by the ears and
thrust my head into the softest litter in the stable, tramp
ling upon and kicking me till at last my mother appearing
dragged him away. In a few curt words, I was ordered to
purify myself at the well.
" Covered from my heels to the tip of my nose with
litter, I was truly in a woeful plight. But this was nothing
to the seething rage that boiled within me. I dared not
resent my wrongs openly. I had felt my weakness ; but I
determined on some kind of revenge: I brooded over all
sorts of schemes, and, amongst others, that of setting the
house on fire. Anyhow, I must leave the farm. To
remain there, to get beaten and ill-treated in presence of
the servants, was beyond endurance. When all were in
bed, I rose stealthily, seized all the money I could get hold
off, besides some I had earned myself by feeding sheep
and pigeons. Next I looked about for the means of burn-
ing down the house ; but I had no matches and did not
like to venture into the kitchen. I tried to light some
straw with tinder, but it was too damp. It then occurred
to me that my father was accustomed to go round the out
houses in the middle of the night, and, resolving to play
him a trick, I covered over some drain holes that lay in
his way, concealing them so as to convert them into pit
falls ; and, as some of them were rather deep, I consoled
myself with the reflection that at all events the old gentle
man would find out what one's feelings are when half
suffocated in dung.
" By day break next morning, I had got a considerable
distance from the farm ; but was rather at a loss in what
direction to proceed. I did not consider myself safe in
any part of the country. I knew that Basle was regarded
as one of the portals to the outer world ; so I made that
town my harbour of refuge. It is not my intention to
give you a detail of my adventures. These would probably
be of little service to you. I shall only tell you that I
302 JOYS AND SORROWS

wrought my way down the Rhine from Basle on the

timber rafts, and afterwards embarked as an apprentice in
a Dutch ship bound for Batavia. The voyage is long and
not without clanger ; I very soon became accustomed to
the sea and to my duties on board, and all went on
pleasantly enough till we arrived at the Indian ocean ; but
there we were overtaken by a kind of storm termed a
hurricane. Of the terrible nature of these tempests, we
can form no conception in our climate. Most of us had
given the ship up for lost, and some of the sailors began
to pray very loudly, thinking, probably, that unless they
sung out in a high tone, God would not hear their voices
amidst the roaring of the waves and the howling of the
tempest. I followed the example of these navigators, and
being lashed to a fragment of the mast along with one of
the passengers who did not pray, by way of doing duty for
both, I repeated very loudly a prayer I had often recited at
school, which runs thus :
" ' Our Lord Jesus sat in the church eating the holy
Lord's Supper with His twelve disciples. Johannes spake
and said : This is good wine. The Lord Jesus replied : It
is not wine, it is my own ruby blood, yet it is good for
your sins, and right for you to drink it in my memory ; for
now I must depart from you, having heavy trials to undergo.
The Jews took the good Lord Jesus, struck Him, hung
Him on a cross, took Him down, placed Him in a grave of
stone wherein no human being had been laid before ; but
the good Lord Jesus spake and said : Whoso repeats this
prayer twice every day with an empty stomach, to him
shall be sent three angels three days before his death : one
who shall guide him, one who shall feed him, and one who
shall take him into Paradise, and from Paradise to the
kingdom of Heaven. Amen!'
" I repeated, or rather roared out, this prayer over and
over again, beginning at the beginning when I arrived at
the end : and it proved effectual ; for the storm abated, we
escaped the much-dreaded reefs ; the hurricane rushed past
us ; the sun burst through the masses of clouds, appeasing
with his bright rays the furrows of the ocean, which
coaxed by these tender caresses, again became smooth and
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 303

unruffled. I soon regained my usual composure, and forgot

both my fright and my praying.
" Next day, the passenger who had been lashed to the
mast beside me stepped up and asked me whether I was a
Roman Catholic? No, said I. Then he supposed I was a
Calvinist ? No. A Lutheran then of course. No. The
man who had the appearance of a seneschal, only much
milder, seemed to lose his patience at my negatives ; and,
after muttering a few words in a foreign language,
asked me what my name was and where I hailed from.
Benz Wehrdi, from Loehr, replied I. Whereabout is that?
Beyond Basle, not far from Berne. What church do you
belong to? To the church at Haustiwgl. That is not
what I mean ; of what religion are you ? The religion
that the schoolmaster and the minister teach us.
" This answer did not appear to afford him more satis
faction than the other ; but by another series of questions
he contrived to ascertain that at least I was a Christian,
and that I had been confirmed. He next made a great
many other enquiries as to our books, the church, and how
it was arranged inside, what we did in it, and so forth. By
this means he discovered I was a Calvinist.
" Any direct question he put to me about my religion I
could not answer ; but I accounted for this, not by
supposing it arose from my own want of knowledge, but
from his stupidity in not being able to put his questions
properly, making up my mind that the schoolmaster under
stood the art of questioning on such subjects much better
ttian he did. The man seemed not a little astonished at
my inability to answer his questions, and hinted that I
probably belonged to a poor family who had not been able
to afford me any instruction. I fired up a little at this :
told him my family was one of the richest in the parish,
and that I was the head boy in the school. This amazed
the man still more, and at last he said: Religion in that case
must be poorly attended to in the neighbourhood o? Berne,
if the people did not know they followed the CaWmiatic
creed and said Roman Catholic prayers.
"From that time this stranger, who rather liked my
straightforward, or, as some might call it, rude bearing,
304 JOYS AND SORROWS

took an interest in my welfare. He asked me questions

about my acquaintance with other subjects as well as
theology, and thus ascertained that my knowledge of
reading, writing, and arithmetic, was about on a par -with
that of my religion, As regards the latter, I could answer
questions put to me direct from the Catechism ; but no
others. So in writing I could form the characters when I
had to copy them, or even copy printed matter in the
written character ; but take away the copy or the book,
and I came to a complete standstill. To write a letter or
to transfer my own ideas to writing, was a thing to me
apparently impossible. Then as regards arithmetic, I had
calculated the dimensions of a hundred haystacks; but I
had never actually measured one, and, practically, I found
that I could not have determined the length of a log cf
wood. My reading also, according to my new friend,
consisted in clothing the words in a kind of patois scarcely
comprehensible beyond my own parish, so that I had not
in point of fact been properly taught my own language.
" The stranger turned out to be the super-cargo, that is,
the person who has charge of the goods on board a ship,
and when we arrived at Batavia, he engaged me as an as
sistant. He would have made me his clerk, which would
have been a great thing for me, but as I could neither
write, reckon, or speak comprehensibly, he could not do
so, employing me instead about odds and ends, such as
directing and assisting in arranging the goods for sale.
Then it was that my gross ignorance dawned upon me,
and I found that I had spent ten precious years of my
life in learning absolutely nothing. Now, you are a school
master, still, under such circumstances, can you be sur
prised that I acquired the habit of detesting your profession ?
Nor was my antipathy in this respect without grounds, for
I found that many lads of my own age brought up in
Holland, who had not possessed the same advantages as
myself in regard to schooling, could not only write and
calculate, but speak in a language not their own. Then I
wished that all our schoolmasters were hung, or that our
government would send the whole lot of them to Jamaica
for a year or so, in order that they might find out what
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 305

they were made of, as well as how much they had to learn,
and how many things it was necessary for a youth of the
present day to know besides a provincial patois. When I
became fully sensible of my defective education, my blood
would boil up in my veins, and, had 1 then chanced to
come within reach of one of our schoolmasters, I should
certainly have treated him very roughly. My opinion still
is that our schoolmasters are merely deceiving their pupils,
not teaching them. To know things by halves and quar
ters, as bells are rung, is merely wasting the children's
time ; it is like stuffing them with pebbles and other in
digestible bodies that their stomachs reject, or that stick
in their throats and ultimately choke them ; nothing they
are taught is connected with life, and consequently it has
no vitality. The religion they learn is a mere mechanical
recitation, that is neither calculated to edify their judg
ment nor awaken the understanding. The great truths
of Christianity might be taught children without over
taxing the young mind, but our schoolmasters and ministers
only know how not to do it ; hence it is that the peasantry
regard religion as a kind of pot lid ; they make a cloak
of it for their sins, and a peg to hang their prejudices
and absurdities on. The reason a great many of them do
not irrigate their fields in dry weather is, that Providence
sends rain when it is wanted or asked for by prayer, not
knowing that the Creator has distinctly told us we must
earn our bread by the sweat of our brow. Religion is also
made a cloak of by schoolmasters as well as the peasants,
to hide their own shortcomings, and they wipe their jaws
on the filthy rag of their own creation, just like the
sacristan of a Roman Catholic cathedral, who one day
showed me a worm-eaten ladder of fir wood, with eleven
steps, assuring rue that it was the real ladder on which
Jacob saw the angels ascending and descending on enter
ing and quitting heaven."
Our visitor related this much of his adventures to us,
but somewhat more circumstantially than I have detailed
them, introducing a number of incidents to show the an
noyances he was subjected to and the disappointments he
met with owing to his defective education. He likewise
306 JOYS AND SORROWS

gave us a formidable list of sins he had committed without

knowing that he had offended against any of the Divine
ordinances. I continued unwilling to admit that his edu
cational deficiencies arose from the system pursued by the
schoolmasters, maintaining that the fault might not lie
with the schools, and that, at all events, the method of in
struction was better now than it had been in his time. He
shook his head, and was probably going to launch out into
some more invectives against the profession, when Madely
cut the discussion short by asking him how he fared in
Batavia, and why he came back.
" Well," said he, " by working very hard, and with the
help of a friend or two, I taught myself more in six months
abroad than I had learned in ten years at home. I became
useful to my master; he made me his chief store-keeper,
and paid me a salary such as many a patrician's son would
have been proud of, even though his father had obtained
for him a little appointment connected with the state. My
master's constitution not being strong enough for so fiery
a climate, his health gave way, and some eight or ten years
after our arrival he died. He gave me, however, so strong
a recommendation to another of the colonists, that I speedily
obtained another engagement, and meanwhile I acquired a
little property of my own, for though I lived very com
fortably, still I contrived to save a portion of my salary,
and to turn it to account in a variety of ways.
" My thoughts often roved back to my native land, and
though there were few persons there I had any anxiety to
behold again, still I was curious to know what was going
on in the paternal mansionwhether my mother was still
alive ; whether my father had forgotten the affair of the
drain holes ; how it fared with my brothers, and whether
my sister was married or single. It is customary for the
people in Batavia to sit in the cool of the evening on the
top of their houses, and when I happened to be alone in
this position, I often fell into a kind of doze, and fancied
I was back home amongst the breezy hills. Sometimes I
found myself converted once more into a herd boy, driving
lot of cows before me, with the whip in one hand and a
bundle of fire-wood in the other ; then, arriving at the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 307

meadow, I imagined myself lighting a fire with the wood

I had cut from the hedges coming along, and felt peculiar
delight when my legs, wet with the dew, began to feel the
genial warmth. After stealing a supply of potatoes from
the nearest field, and some apples from an adjoining or
chard, I roasted them in the ashes, and soon had a number
of other herd boys around me to partake of the feast;
meanwhile the cows, left to themselves, selected the fields
for grazing which had the finest crop of grass, without in
quiring about the ownership, but this gave us no concern ;
we played at a variety of games, and indulged in a fight
occasionally, without troubling our heads about the cattle,
till at last one of the farmers appeared, whose meadows had
been invaded by strange cows ; he, in revenge, destroyed
our fire, ran after us to give us a hiding, and, when breath
less, shouted he would throttle the first one of us he got
hold of.
"The idea of this kind of life pleased me exceedingly;
besides, there was the beautiful verdure of the meadows,
the cool morning mists, the invigorating air; not unfre-
quently I felt the odour of the autumnal fog in my nostrils,
imagined every object ten paces distant was shrouded in
it, and finally observed it gradually disperse, one cow
coming into view after the other, till the entire pasture
ground became visible ; rising higher and higher, bright
rents in the grey sea disclosed the distant mountains, the
sun's disc being still behind the veil, which, however, sud
denly dropping, permitted the luminary of day to shine in
all its wonted splendour, and the scattered clouds of mist
hastening across the heavens, vanished like a beaten army
seeking safetyin flight. The air seemed to remain pleasantly
warm till the evening bell announced the conclusion of the
day's work. Then, collecting the cattle with their tinkling
appendages, the herd boys merrily drove them towards the
village, through the mist, which again had begun to ascend
from the marshy ground bordering the road. The nearer
the cows approached the farm-yard, the faster they hurried
along to get rid of their burden of milk, lowing to let the
milker know they were coming, so that .he might lose no
time ; then a great jingling of bells was heard in all direc
SOS JOTS AND SORROWS

tions, mingled with the sharp voices of the herdsmen urging

on some stray calves that insisted upon going the wrong
way, or probably declined to move at all.
" When such scenes arose in my mind they made me
sad and thoughtful. Latterly these visions occurred to me
more and more frequently. I began to long for a glimpse
at the mountains with my waking eyes, and to hear the
rant de vaches with my waking ears. I took less and less
interest in business ; wearied of the pleasures and enjoy
ments of the colony, I was constantly dreaming of home,
by day as well as by night. These yearnings and dream -
ings affected my body ; I staggered along like a shadow
on a wall, so weak that a child might have toppled me
over. I was not aware, however, that it was the constant
hankering after the scenes of boyhood that was depriving
me of physical strength. I applied to physicians for ad
vice, but, not being able to determine the precise seat of
my malady, they talked of lingering fevers, diseases of the
liver, the spleen, the heart, the lungs, and particularly the
kidneys, which the climate seemed to operate upon more
than any other part of the body; but they only deluged
me with medicines without doing me any good, my visions
end longing becoming more and more intense. One night
I dreamt I was driving my father's horses to the pond,
and next morning, not being able to get the notion out
of my head, I sat down at my desk, musing about my boy
hood. Just then a friend came to shake hands ; he was
going to return home, had got a guilder or two in his
purse, and was tired of the Batavian beer. Then I felt as
if a bright light had entered my eye, as if I had just
emerged from a dense obscurity into the glorious, radiant
sunshine, and this bright light was nothing other than the
resolution that I also should return home.
"There was no longer any ailing about me; my liver
and my spleen, and all the other parts of my body, were
suddenly restored to soundness ; the lassitude I had long
felt gave place to unremitting activity, becoming altogether
a different man from what I had been for some years pre
viously. I could not comprehend why the resolution to
return home had not occurred to me before. Probably I
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 309
had grown too heart-sick to generate such a thought, had
the idea not been first suggested from without. There
was nothing whatever to prevent me quitting the colony
beyond the desire to make more money, but even that
impulse gave way before my anxiety to behold once more
the cows, mists, and shingle roofs of my native land. I
had amassed enough to make me moderately comfortable
for life ; it could be all easily realized, and as I did not
haggle long about my landed property, I was very soon as
free as a bird in the air.
Unfortunately, however, I had no wings. I could not
fly across the wide ocean, I had to wait for a home-going
ship. Everything conspired against my anxiety to depart.
The impatient make all things impatient ; the hurried find
all things going slow. At last I embarked, yet still was I
dissatisfied ; the wind insisted on blowing in the wrong
direction, the sails would not fill, the currents were always
ahead, and even the captain seemed purposely to delay the
ship out of spite. Nevertheless, I felt happy, knowing
that, in the face of all these drawbacks, every day carried
me nearer and nearer the morning that would find me again
within sight of the Alps.
" When we arrived in safety at the end of the voyage,
and I felt the firm land under my feet, and knew that no
more sea separated me from my native hills, I became
calmer. Traversing Germany to the Lake of Constance,
I reached the height beyond Lindau, and there halting,
looked into Switzerland with an enraptured gaze. There
I beheld the mighty mountains, the fertile valleys teeming
with fresh foliage, the merry but wild Rhine flowing, rush
ing through them, the verdant Appenzeller Halden, the
vast Thurgau garden, flourishing villages and towns, that,
like friendly countenances, seemed to bid me welcome.
Then my heart swelled. I could have wished to take one
bound across the broad lake, and to embrace the first Swiss
that came in my way, though, if I had done so, I should
have subjected myself to a sound drubbing in return for
the warmth of my tenderness.
" Often during the journey the question occurred to me,
in what manner should I present myself to my relatives ?
310 JOYS AND SORROWS

I had read many long stories of sons that had heen thought
lost, but had turned up in some unexpected guise. I de
bated with myself which of these I should adopt ; whether
I should rattle into the village like a great lord, in a car
riage and four, or whether I should clothe myself in rags,
and knock at the doors as a mendicant ; then again, should
I make my appearance as an old worn out soldier, as a
burly horse dealer, or cheating scamp of a pedlar. Some
objection or other presented itself in my mind to all these
and a hundred other disguises, so that at last I resolved
to present myself in the plain, unassuming citizen dress
I then wore.
" In those days the mail very seldom travelled at night,
and on arriving at the last station I could proceed no further
till morning. I went to bed, but could not sleep ; men
and houses, land and cattle, seemed constantly dancing
about the chamber, all bearing the aspect they had of old.
At last a dim light began to peep through the window
panes ; I felt as if lying on a couch of fire, and, getting up,
rushed through the house like an evil spirit, though not
with either the noise of heavy boots or rattling chains.
Eousing up a postillion, I asked him to get his vehicle, and
drive me over the rest of the journey. He refused to start
till he had some breakfast. Off I went to awake the cook,
but she could do nothing till she got the keys from the
landlady, and by the time I got for everybody all the things
they wanted, besides no end of abuse for the trouble I had
taken, the morning was pretty far advanced. I succeeded,
however, in putting a stop to the grumbling, by using a few
choice Malayan phrases that threw their home-spun epithets
completely into the shade.
" As the postillion drove me along, the steeples reminded
me forcibly of days long gone by, as did also the thatched
roofs, which, like night-caps sinking over the eyes, crept
down upon the windows. Then came little bridges under
which I had fished and caught many a silvery trout ; little
gates, from behind which I and my mischievous companions
had often teased passing wayfarers; orchards from which
we had often stolen fruit, and trees from which we had
dragged birds' nests. Next came familiar houses, and the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 3ll

dogs even which began to bark at us, I thought I had seen

before, though probably they were the grandsons of those
I had left behind. Finally, we reached the well known
inn. There I found the same heap of brushwood piled up
against the gable ; the same wooden steps led up to the
door, and actually the very same parlour-maid, from whom,
owing to a clumsy display of gallantry, I once received a
pretty smart blow on the ear. She had been dressing her
hair, for some of the plaits were not yet quite finished.
'Ah, Eisely, the top of the morning to you!' exclaimed I,
as I threw my arms round her neck. The girl struggled
out of my embrace, and, starting back two or three paces,
looked hard at me, then exclaimed, ' Goodness, sir ! how
is it you know me ? I have never seen you before.'
" It occurred to me instantly that was very likely the
fact, for the girl before me, not being more than eighteen,
could not possibly be my old friend. In reality, as it turned
out, she was the daughter of the hard-fisted waitress. I
found her more courteous than the old one, besides being
a good deal better looking. In her smart Bernese dress
she appeared to me quite charming, and when she put en
her little truss bonnet to go out, 1 felt half inclined to give
her another hug, had the unfortunate box on the ears I re
ceived from her mother not occurred to my recollection in
time to prevent me carrying out the intention.
" The wine of the inn tasted of the same drug it had
done twenty years before, and, curiously enough, in spite
of the lapse of all that time, it was not a single day older.
My heart beat tumultuously at the idea of being so near
my relatives. I could not make up my mind whether I
should invite them to come to me, or whether I should go
to them. Meantime I obtained some information regard
ing them from the pretty maid of the inn, who hovered
about me somewhat diffidently, expressing her desire to
know who I was, and a number of other things that I did
not care to tell her just then. From her I ascertained that
my parents were dead, that the farm had been sold, the
proceeds divided amongst my brothers, and that my sister
had married a neighbouring farmer.
" When twilight set in, 1 came to a decision, and set out
312 JOYS AND SORROWS

for the house of my eldest brother. On the way I recog

nized several faces I knew, but no one recognized me. I
found my brother, who, though a man now, still retained
some of his boyish features. After a brief preamble, I in
troduced myself to him as his brother. He eyed me doubt
fully, then, shaking his head, coolly told me I was an
impostor. It was not very likely, he said, that had his
brother been alive at the time of his father's death, he
would have neglected to claim his share of the property. I
replied, that, having been a long way off, I could not
possibly have heard of the old man's decease. ' Well,'
said he, ' you may try and make other people believe that
if you can,' adding, his father had been a well known man,
and his death was made known far and wide. I received
a similar answer from all my other brothers, and even from
my sister. Their object, clearly enough, was not to admit my
title to any of the property, as, nothing having been put
aside for me, they would have had to refund my share. All
the incidents I could tell about my father and mother, and
about past events, I was supposed to have heard from the
defunct Bendicht Wehrdi, and not from my own know
ledge. ' But,' urged I, ' that is absurd, for how could
Benz Wehrdi have shown me the plum tree out of which ,
I pitched my brother ? How could he have shown me the
corner of the barn where the rabbit hutch was ? How could
he have given me the particulars of our joint account in
the rabbit speculation ? Or how could he have told me
where and when one or other of us got a sound thrashing
from father ? But all these proofs availed me nothing.
The scamp of a schoolmaster also denied me, though I
related correctly many things that had occurred in the
schoolroom, and, amongst others, his having given me a
sound caning for kissing Annie Berkely, the Governor's
daughter.
" They all admitted my ability to relate the particulars
of past events was very curious, gave me credit for being
very clever, and for having a good memory, but for all
that, they asserted, I was not Benz Wehrdi. In the first
place, I was not like him ; he had no moustache, had a
fair red and white complexion, whereas I was as brown as
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 313

a badger ; he was short and I was tall, and if I really were

Benz Wehrdi, why, inquired they, did I not produce my
certificate of birth and extract from the baptismal register ?
They knew well enough I had taken none of these docu
ments with me, and to have them recognized now I must
first prove my identity.
" At first I had not thought of claiming my share of the
patrimonial heritage, but, being irritated by the scurvy
manner in which I had been received, and the greediness
of all my relatives, I determined to punish them by com
pelling them to disgorge. For this purpose I first of all
obtained legal assistance, which gave rise to no end of
meetings and attendances, always resulting in a fresh
delay and an increase of costs. Observing that both my
own lawyer and that of my relatives often came to the con
ferences in the same chaise, I began to fear that the decision
of the matter rested rather too much upon them. I there- .
fore applied to the Dutch ambassador. This speedily altered
the state of affairs. I was recognized as a citizen of
Kungiwyl, and, agreeing to a compromise with my relatives,
obtained a small portion of the family property."
Whilst our guest was enjoying himself and entertaining
us in this way, my mother returned home. She eyed the
good things on the table with a scrutinising glance, and
was evidently angry that a stranger should be treated so
much better than herself. Growling at my wife when she
offered her anything, she kept purposely muttering and
interrupting the conversation ; expressing her dissatisfac
tion by an occasional taunt. Finding the dog, which was
stretched out beside the oven, in her way, she gave it a
smart kick that made it start up and growl. My wife bore
her petulance with her usual patience, and I said very little.
Our guest, while talking, looked at her very sharply once
or twice. Then starting up and glancing through the
window, he said, as the weather was better, he would go
now: he thanked my wife for her attention in a very
mannerly sort of a way, thrust some money into the hands
of my little boy, and told my mother gruffly that as it did
not appear to him she would live for ever, she had better
mend her ways in time ; he then requested me to accom
314 JOYS AND SORROWS

pany him a little way, as he was not acquainted with the

village paths, and might go astray in the snow.
On the way he asked me the particulars of my position,
saying he could see very well we were not overly comfort
able. I told him candidly of our struggles with poverty,
and also that I feared it was impossible for me to get along
honourably in the face of our ever increasing expenses.
He said I laboured under the curse that rested on schools :
they might be useful, but they are not; unfortunately, the
farmers knew as little about what a school ought to be as
the generality of schoolmasters ; and those that did know
found it advisable to keep their knowledge to themselves ;
so that amongst them schools were only tolerated for the
sake of propriety ; the heritors allowed the schoolmaster to
live like a dog, as regards the body, and he, in revenge,
treats the children in the same way as regards the mind;
the peasantry declare the schoolmaster does not earn a
better salary, and they are right ; the schoolmasters say
that the instruction is good enough for the pay they get,
and in that they are both right and wrong ; for, the in
struction they give is in reality worth nothing at all ; the
farmers are not wise enough to pay more and get a better
article, whilst the schoolmasters are too stupid to introduce
a system of teaching for which they might demand higher
pay ; thus they fight against each other in most places, so
that, unless a third party steps in and inspires both with a
little common sense, the whole thing never comes to any
good."
" You are a good natured sort of a fellow," he said to
me, " and I believe if you liked you could do some good
even in a school. If, for instance, you were to teach the
religion your wife practises that would prove more bene
ficial than all your catechism hocus pocus. I pity her, poor
thing, to be tormented with such an old shrew as that
mother of yours. I have seen how much your wife has to
endure, and with what patience she suffers ; I also rather
think she can see as far as most people, and can dissemble
a little too at times. I have not the slightest doubt hut
that she has seen a great deal further through me than you
have, your being a schoolmaster notwithstanding. As for
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 315

that silly old scold your mother, she will not torment her
long, for, unless I am greatly mistaken, she will not be in
this world this time next year."
With these words he bade me good bye, promised to
give me a call another time, and stalked off in the direc
tion of the forest.

CHAPTER XXXIV.
To my great shame the prediction of my late guest con
cerning my mother did not call forth from me any deep
feeling of grief ; nay, it even seemed to afford a shade of
relief to my heavy heart. My mother's death would
diminish our poverty, restore peace in our humble dwelling,
and spare us the annoying gossiping about the village.
On the other hand, I consoled myself with the reflection
that my mother also would profit by the change; she
would no longer experience the stings of the common
poverty, and would, once for all, be cured of her bodily
ailments.
On entering the house, finding my wife in tears, I con
cluded there had been a scene between her and my mother
during my absence. Without further ado, therefore, I
told her our new friend's prediction, thinking that would
afford her some consolation. But I was mistaken. If she
cried from vexation before, she cried from sorrow now,
and even more earnestly. This astonished me, and on
asking her why she cried so bitterly, she told me she had
no idea the poor old woman was going to die ; otherwise
she would have taken better care of her. " That would
have been impossible," rejoined I, "you have taken as
much care of her as you could, and we must all die some
time or other you know." " True, Peter dear," said she ;
" but you have no idea how fond your mother is of life,
and how she dreads death ; you must on no account tell
her of this prophecy ; it would kill her outright." " Very
well," rejoined I " please yourself, I shall say nothing
about it, still what the Almighty ordains must happen,"
and Rave utterance to some other axioms of this sort.
316 JOYS AND SORROWS

My wife, however, rarely paid any attention to my sage

remarks, and especially took good &:re not to answer them.
Her conduct in this instance sorely puzzled me. When I
came in, she was evidently crying -vbout my mother's ill
usage ; now she was crying because it would soon be over ;
in fact, I had no conception of the purity of her heart.
She took something into the room to my mother, and was
received as usual with unkind words. " What are ycu
always crying about ?" enquired the old woman in grumb
ling tones; " it is childish to be always whimpering like a
pig with a headache ; she had gone through a few troubles
in her time, but rarely cried about them ; very likely she
had been complaining about her to me, and I had said
something to vex her ; what I had said about her she did not
care a pin, but that it was incumbent upon her to act as a
dutiful daughter-in-law. I observed that Madely listened
quietly and sorrowfully to all this grumbling without
making any answer.
From this time onward, my wife never spoke of the
trouble or expense my mother caused us. Endeavouring
to gratify her in every whim, she redoubled her exertions
to make her comfortable and alleviate her bodily sufferings.
The old woman noticed this, but would not acknowledge
it. When she did allude to it she spoke of it as hypocrisy.
At last she began to suspect that Madely fancied she would
die soon and was doing what she did, to have the less to
answer for hereafter. One day she told her that what she
did was all very well and becoming; but as to her dying
she had better not rejoice too early, people with a worse
cough than hers had outlived their daughters-in-law.
Notwithstanding her belief in a longer lease of life, she
was perceptibly declining in strength ; her cough, as the
cold weather advanced, grew more severe, her legs began
to swell, and she was extremely restless in bed. The
winter had to me set in very sadly. I began the school in
a sea of troubles ; and sleepless nights would frequently
render me unfit for my duties during the day. Our parlour
became a rendezvous for all the gossips of the village,
who assembled there under pretence of visiting my sick
mother : the latter took care to point out to them and
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 317

magnify the discomforts that surrounded her, professing to

be a martyr of her son and daughter-in-law, but declaring,
at the same time, she did not stand in awe of either the
one or the other.
The Christmas of that year was cold and snowy. On
the day of gladness and joy we had some coffee for dinner,
but no meat. My wife and I sat near the oven in the
evening, between day and night, with light and darkness
also struggling in our souls. Our misery shrouded us in
gloom, which my wife tried to mitigate by talking cheer
fully to the children about our Father in heaven, who had
sent His only Son to die for us, and the wonders the
Redeemer had wrought on earth.
My mother had gone early to bed, and as we were ac
customed to hear her cough, it was not surprising that on
this particular evening we did not pay any attention to it.
At length, however, it became so incessant and severe that
Madely carefully placed the little sleeping child in the
cradle, and hastened to her assistance. Holding her up
right, she hoped her breathing might become easier, and
the attack of coughing pass off. But it was not so. Her
breathing grew heavier and heavier. I tendered my as
sistance, and, to give the patient ease, we lifted her out of
bed, and then into it again. She was evidently in great
pain, and could obtain no rest. I perspired dreadfully, in
spite of the cold, and my wife behaved so affectionately
and seemed so glad when a little alleviation occurred, that
the old dame at last became sensible of her goodness. She
spoke not, but her eyes followed Madely wherever she
went, and, however painful or inconvenient it might be,
she always turned her head so that she could keep her in
sight.
Once we fancied that the soul had burst from its mys
terious receptacle, and winged its flight away from the
body. But it had not yet found egress. Turning her
head, she looked round, and observing our sorrow at her
supposed departure, for a moment her bedimned eyes be
came brighter, and something like love shone from them -
her lips moved, and she breathed out faintlv. " I have
818 JOYS AND SORROWS

wronged you, my daughter, forgive me, as I hope God also

will forgive me, for I have indeed been a great sinner."
Then her lips closed in silence, but evidently she could
still hear our protestations of forgiveness ; an expression of
peace and joy spread over her pale face ; her limbs stretched
out convulsively, and this time the soul did take flight.
Thus died my poor mother. The Lord have mercy on
her! She had led a hard and joyless life; may she enjoy
the peace and tranquillity in the next world that had been
denied her in this !

CHAPTER XXXV.
Surrounded with poverty and wretchedness, I scarcely
took any notice of the events passing in the village, even
though they might be supposed to have considerable in
terest for me. Thus, a new minister had been appointed,
the old one having gone elsewhere, thoroughly tired of a
people he could, after exerting himself to the utmost, do
no good with, he declared his life would literally be thrown
away if passed amongst them. This change had no effect
upon me, and I had not even noticed the difference between
the two men.
Eventually I began to breathe a little more freely. We
were under less constraint in our little parlour, being able
to interchange our ideas without interruption ; we had now
the entire control of our children, and were less annoyed
by the neighbours. The latter even began to treat us with
a little more respect than they had done hitherto. The
women, whilst visiting my mother, had kept their eyes
open, and, though they loved to make ill-natured remarks,
they also very often told the truth, and a better opinion of
us began to prevail in the village. We were still hardly
pressed as regards debts incurred, but were not now in
creasing them, and our distress, though severe, seemed
light when we reflected on the still heavier burden we had
just escaped. A glimmer of ease, therefore, began to
dawn upon us, and I regained sufficient composure to look
around me a little.
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 319

The first person that came under my newly-awakened

observation was the recently appointed minister. That he
was a person of a very different temperament from the
former one was perfectly clear, but what sort of a man he
really was I could not make out. The farmers, also, were
at a loss to make up their minds about him, averring that,
from what they could judge, he might be silly, marvellously
stupid, weak in his intellect, or quite the reverse. They
were very much annoyed by the old one leaving, not that
they liked him or cared about him, but because they had
proved to him what they were made of, and he had got to
understand them ; they had brought him to a knowledge
of his own position, and made him aware that they were
his masters, not his tools. Now a new one had come to
plague them ; no one could tell how long it might take to
teach him reason ; all the ministers wanted to reduce the
farmers under subjection, but they would find out in the
long run this was not to be done at Gytiwyl.
The new minister did not intrude himself anywhere. It
sometimes appeared as if he cared nothing about any
thing, and had determined not to trouble his head about
the temporal affairs of the villagers at all. Yet he was
very obliging and affable, and what he was asked to do he
did uncommonly well. He was so free and easy in his
bearing to all who approached him, that some of the farmers,
forgetting the respect due to his office, thought they might
do and say to him what they liked. Those who essayed
anything of this kind, however, met with an unexpected
reception, and did not make a second attempt.
This made the people somewhat uncomfortable. When
they spoke of the minister, they stared at each other and
shook their heads, fearing that he possessed some secret
power and a fixed determination ; they were, consequently,
anxious to find out what his aims were, so that they might
be on their guard. Some of them protested he was one of
the dangerous sort of people that it was necessary to look
sharply after ; others were of opinion there was nothing in
him, that he kept aloof from them because he was proud:
this party was the largest, and as he continued to allow the
farmers to have their own way in everything, they began to
320 JOTS AND SORROWS

get angry, swearing at the taverns they had got a minister

who did not care a pin-point for anything but his salary.
That sort of thing did not snit them, and most assuredly
they would not put up with it. The man they had before
took rather too much interest in their affairs, but that put
them to no manner of inconvenience, as they only laughed
at him. This one they could not make head or tail of,
therefore should be glad if he would take himself off too,
and show them how his back looked.
To the schoolmasters of the district he was very polite,
paid a good deal of attention to the schools ; but often
annoyed us by asking the children questions they could not
answer. When we remonstrated and said we could never
get the children to take up the subject he was asking them
about, he replied that it might be so, but that it would
nevertheless be au advantage if he could get them to do
so. He got on extremely well with the children at the
catechising class ; and we were rather jealous to find that
he was becoming a favourite with the pupils, and that they
took a great deal of pleasure in his manner of imparting
instruction.
Some of the farmers who had entered into conversation
with the new minister were rather surprised to find that he
was acquainted with many things they considered as secrets
of their own profession ; for example, they found that he
knew that horses had blasts on their legs, not under their
tails ; and also that rye was heavier than oats. One of
them once tried to sell him a cow old enough to have been
godmother to Napoleon the Great, saying at the same time
she was big with her second calf ; but, instead of selling
the brute, he got a very sharp reproof from the parson.
Of course the man was much irritated on finding his
roguery detected, and took his revenge out by openly de
claring at the taverns and amongst his companions that
they did not want Government to send them ministers who
were born to be cattle dealers. The other farmers growlingly
assented to this, adding that a man who had been brought
up amongst cows was not fit to stand in a pulpit. In
spite, however, of their angry talk, they both dreaded and
respected the new minister. He made no display of his
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 321

knowledge in agricultural matters : it only came to light

when an appropriate occasion called it out, and, conse
quently, had all the greater effect. The farmers admitted
he was by no means an ignoramus ; and, besides that, he
evidently had sense enough not to lay a wager with a
butcher about the weight of an ox.
It happened, about this time, one of the influential
farmers died. He was an old bachelor, possessing a large
property, but a very small heart. Whilst alive, he cared
only for his housekeeper, Salomi, and a huge black cat.
Whether the housekeeper cared much about him or not is
uncertain ; but that she had a leaning towards the property
was pretty well known. Whatever might have been the
state of her affections, there could be no mistake about the
cat's : they were most unquestionably true to the defunct.
Whilst I was delivering the funeral oration, the housekeeper
seemed doubtful whether to laugh or cry; but the cat
placed itself on the coffin as if to protect it. The house
keeper tried to remove the animal ; but it set up such a
snarling that she started back as if it had been Beelzebub
in person, and some of the relations had to lay hold of the
obnoxious quadruped.
The funeral was grand. But it is neither with that nor
the defunct himself I have to do at present ; it is with the
proceedings that followed the interment that I have to
speak now. The funeral feast was a very liberal affair ; to
many, no doubt, much more commendable than my oration.
The guests did it ample justice: at the wine flowed, so
did the hearts of the mourners pour themselves out in
words.
The most important personages of the parish were
present ; and when they had fairly commenced talking, all
sorts of subjects were broached, and, amongst other things,
it was stated that the Liittikofers, like a set of fools, were
building a new school-house : it would not cost them less
than five thousand florins; but, added the speaker, if they
were to throw away twice as much, they would after all
remain just what they are, that is, Lattikofers.
"Exactly," remarked the district judge; "and if they
would get a fire-engine for their own use, and a bull of
322 JOYS AND SOKUOWS

a finer breed, they would spend their money to better

purpose."
" By the way," observed the Governor, " the minister
spoke to me the other day about the Lsittikofers, and their
school -house, remarking that though they were building a
new one, their old one was a great deal better than ours ;
he added that he did not like to ask you to build a new
one, as he was afraid you had not the means, and would
therefore have patience."
" Means ! " holloaed the amman, striking the table ; " potz
donner ! What reason has the parson to think we have
not the means ? I do not suppose any of us owe him any
thing, or that anybody has been to ask alms from him.
As to the means and ability we are a match for the Latti-
kofers any day of the week, even if a score of parsons threw
their property into the scale ; and, if we did build, we
should not have to borrow a portion of the money, like the
beggars of Lattikofen. It is a piece of impudence on the
part of the parson to make such a remark. He might at
least have asked us whether we had the means, before he
said we had not."
" Quite right," shouted a farmer, whose lips were like
two good-sized sausages ; " and as for building a school-
house, I should not mind voting for that, if only to show
the governor it would require a good deal more sucking to
exhaust the heritors of Gytiwyl."
" I also am quite agreeable to building a new school-
house," remarked the churchwarden ; " but to building
without extravagance." The children could never be all in
school at one time ; and as to writing, for which it is said
more space is wanted, it would never do to teach the
children of the tenantry any such thing. He did not be
lieve any kind of learning beyond a little religion did any
good, and was only tolerated amongst the better classes on
account of custom. Money was everything now-a-days ;
scholarship would not pay. As a proof of that, we need
only look at a parson ; he was generally as lean as a
pauper's goat ; and if his stipend was withheld for a week,
he would be roaring like a cow before an empty manger."
" Well," remarked another ; "I am not quite certain
 OF A. SCHOOLMASTER.

you are right in all you say, churchwarden. There is my

eldest boy, Jack, who did not like field work, and went
away somewhere ; but, to my astonishment, he came home
the other day, dressed from top to toe like a lord. He
began calculating and reckoning, and declared his head was
of more value to him than my farm to me ; in fact, that he
was earning two thousand florins a-year, whereas I was
making only one. I could not help wondering at this, for
I am sure that my poorest cow has a larger head than Jack
has ; but I believe what he says, because he evidently has
plenty of money, and lives like a prince."
" What your son says may be true enough," observed
the fat district tax-collector. " Any man that knows how
to lord it over his neighbours, can make plenty of money,
in ways that an honest man would not think of." As for
himself, he often came in contact with people in offices of
various kinds ; and could tell a story or two about some of
them, if he chose.
" I am afraid it is time to be off now. Why, they are
bringing in the lights ! " exclaimed the Governor, who no
doubt fancied the conversation was becoming personal.
The action of the Governor was a signal for a confusion of
voices at our table, which now took part in the discussion
that had long been going on at the other. In this Babel
of voices, I could only make out that the churchwarden was
commissioned to talk to a carpenter about building a new
school-house ; I also heard the Governor enquiring of one
of the speakers how a letter intended for his son was to
be addressed. In the midst of the confusion, the district
judge hurriedly emptied his glass twice, and, sighing
deeply, said the world was assuredly coming to an end,
judging from what was going on. He then laid hold of
me as I was going down stairs, and, leaning heavily on my
arm, asked me to accompany him part of the way home.
The heirs of the defunct had pressed a thaler upon me
for my services, and I had bought a bottle of wine for
Madely ; but the landlord would not take the money for it.
A piece of wheaten bread that I could not finish had also
found its way into my pocket ; I do not exactly know how.
I had great difficulty, however, in preventing the bottle
324 JOTS AND SORROWS

from getting broken ; for I and the district judge came in

contact with many pairs of shutters and several door-posts.
Sometimes my companion affectionately fell upon me with
his whole weight, and both would go tumbling towards a
wall ; but, under such circumstances, I dodged aside,
thinking a district judge better able to bear thumps against
a house-gable than a glass bottle. Indeed, I could never
have believed that it would have been so difficult to lead
a man home from a funeral feast, had I not learned it from
practical experience.
Though it was late when I got to my own house, Madely
as usual received me with a smile, and had something warm
waiting for me. I was in high spirits, and when she began
to tell me something about little Peter, whom I considered
a wonderfully clever child, having been naughty, I refused
to listen to that sort of thing, and told her all that had
occurred at the feast, not forgetting how the cat had be
haved at the funeral, adding a lengthened exposition of
my opinion as to the meaning of the cat's proceedings,
till at last it was voted we should go to bed.
Next morning I was much less talkative. My wife then
told me I had been very quarrelsome the night before. I
did not venture to contradict her ; in fact, I had a sort of
presentiment on getting up, that some information of this
kind awaited me, and consequently received her remarks in
all humility.
V j}l SjS i&
An intense curiosity to know what the minister would
say when he heard that a new schoolhouse was going to
be built, without his having taken any steps in the matter,
arose in my mind. Accordingly, after school in the after
noon, I took the roll-call, and walked off to the manse,
under the pretence of requiring his opinion on the children's
attendance.
Giving a gentle tap at the door, I was at once admitted ;
but the servant informed me I should have to wait some
little time, as his reverence was particularly engaged just
then. There being no help for it, I agreed to do so, and
sat down. I had, however, scarcely seated myself before
I was called for, and ushered into the presence of the
clergyman.
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. si?.
Great was my astonishment when I beheld, seated com
fortably beside him, my old friend Bendicht Wehrdi, the
supposed highwayman. I absolutely forgot, through my
surprise, to salute either his reverence or the man with
the moustache, and must have appeared to both exces
sively ridiculous. They began to laugh, and Wehrdi said,
"Well, schoolmasterkin, you did not expect to see one here,
whom, no doubt, you suppose to be either Old Nick him
self, or his brother's son at the very least."
After this interview, which lasted some time, and even
when I returned home, I felt as if there were a worm
powder constantly operating in my bowels, and a wasps'
nest full of action in my head. It was late before I got
home, in fact, nearly half-past ten ; and I must have had
a very singular expression in my face, for my wife appeared
quite astonished. She was still more so, however, when I
told her whom I had met at the minister's.
I could only give her a brief outline of what had passsd,
though I could repeat glibly enough what the farmers had
said at the feast. What surprised me a good deal was. to
hear the minister state, that he had taken an opportunity to
inform the governor how sorry he was they could not afford
to build a new schoolhouse, and that he had purposely
looked very serious, in order that his words might not be
taken as a sneer. Thus I discovered, that it was, after all,
the minister himself who had adroitly set the idea of a
new schoolhouse a-going. I accordingly told him that his
words had been reported at the funeral feast the day
before, and that, in consequence, the churchwarden had
been instructed to consult with a carpenter about the
building.
Here Wehrdi remarked that he was doubtful whether
it was advisable even to do good by dissembling, and work
ing upon the evil passions of men.
The minister looked into the fire, and said, we might
probably misjudge both his designs and his mode of carry
ing them out, and therefore it might be as well for him to
explain his course of action.
" Neither of you," he continued, addressing Wehrdi and
myself, " have probably observed, that there is a good deal
326 JOYS AND SORROWS

of indirect influence at work in the operations of Pro

vidence, and, indeed, that much is implied by the saying-,
that the sins of men are governed by God's Providence,
which so controls the evil instincts that they produce good.
This is further illustrated by some of the events and
parables of Scripture, particularly the narrative of Joseph
and his brethren, as also the intercourse between the Re
deemer and the Jews. Few possess a mind pure enough
to do good for its own sake, or have wisdom enough to
seek for happiness in doing good. So, when a worthy
man comes forward, and advises people without circum
locution to alter their course of life, and adopt a more
rational course of conduct as regards both their spiritual
and worldly affairs, he finds they have no eyes to see and
no ears to hear. He is regarded as an enthusiast that it
would be dangerous to entrust with the powers necessary
to carry out the changes he suggests ; he is misunderstood,
laughed at, and sometimes prosecuted even to death. Why,
then, should we not, instead of incurring these risks, avail
ourselves of selfishness, pride, vanity, envy, ambition, and
other evil passions, as instruments, if we can turn them to
account in doing good ? The proverb says, we must make
our bricks with such materials as we possess, we must
also build with such materials as we have, only taking
care what we use for supports in state, church, and school.
In cases where the inclination to do good does not exist,
why should we not employ such means as are within our
reach to excite it ? I do not mean we should do evil that
good may arise, or act like St. Crispin, who stole leather
to make shoes for the poor; neither do 1 consider that un
lawful means, as falsehood, slander, or deceitful promises,
should be employed to superinduce good ; I only suggest
for such a purpose the propriety of availing ourselves of
the existing vices, passions, and weaknesses of mankind.
Our Saviour, for example, did not use absolutely direct
terms when he said to the Pharisees, Not the healthy need
the physician, but the sick. It appears, by exciting the
passion of vanity or pride in the heritors of Gytiwyl, I have
goaded them into building a new schoolhouse. In this in
stance, avarice has been made to assist in digging its own
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 327

grave ; for what can be a greater foe to these vile passions

than a good school, in which the dignity of the mind is
properly developed ? Still, selfishness gets the better some
times of envy and pride, and this may happen in this case.
Avarice calculates by the florin and batzen. So the heritors,
having laid out money on the schoolhouse, they may ex
pect some profit from the school. Therefore, school
master, you may expect to have some demands made upon
you in this respect. If you do not bring the children on
a little quicker, you may hear them say, Our money has
been thrown away on the new schoolhouse; the children
are not a bit the better for it."
" That," replied I, " already gives me some uneasiness ;
for the farmers hinted, at the feast, they would expect
their children to be made much cleverer." I also men
tioned that one of them told a story about his son's head
being more valuable to him than a well-stocked farm, aud
likewise, that the governor had undertaken to put another
of his sons in the way of becoming a rich man, consequently,
more might be expected from me than I might be able to ac
complish, and therefore was somewhat at a loss how to act.
" If it really be your wish, schoolmaster, to do the chil
dren good," replied the minister, " your position, in some
respects, will resemble my own. A slur very likely may
one day be cast on my character. I may be reproached
with laziness, a gloomy temper, and what not; yet I know
not at this moment anything better I can do than to re
main quiet, and to throw out a seed here and there that
may grow up in time. My purpose is to remain apparently
passive, and leave the initiative of progress and develop
ment to chance. My predecessor was a man of action ;
but he took every will-o-the-wisp for a gleam of sunshine,
announced it, and attempted to force it into every house.
A commune is not a hospital, in which physicians can
make a trial of their new remedies ; a parish minister must
keep his hand from new experiments, for if one of them
miscarries, it deprives him of the people's confidence. So,
therefore, with myself, if I request the people to do any
thing not in accordance with their usages, they would, no
doubt, do the very reverse, merely out of obstinacy. So,
328 JOYS AND SORROWS

as regards the schoolhouse, if I had asked them in plaia

terms to have a new one built, they would never have done
so, even though half the children had to stand outside.
All things are of God: consequently, all I have to do is to
hasten with the utmost of my ability the fulfilment of his
ordinances, and to use my influence in inducing the people
to obey them, even in spite of their own inclination. I
know that success does not depend on me, but on the Divine
will ; still, if I did nothing, I should be responsible, to a
certain extent. I should be responsible, at least, for those
that lagged behind in the path of duty whenever it was
in my power to urge them forward. I know that in the
nature of things there must be progress. I can, therefore,
be patient and wait for an opportunity to make my services
useful in the good work. It is not necessary that I should
display all my capacity in one day, or have all my wishes
realized in a single year. I have first to feel my way, and
find out whether the power to accomplish a particular ob
ject rests, under God, with myself or others. By this
course I am enabled to set these energies in motion without
appearing as the active agent, and, consequently, without
either desiring or expecting the thanks of anybody for my
personal exertions in bringing the work to a successful
issue."

CHAPTER XXXVI.
With regard to the plan of the new edifice, the authori
ties decided it was to be larger than that of the l.attikofers.
This part of the business did not occasion much difficulty.
Secondly, it was to cost at least as much. That, the builder
placidly submitted to. The schoolroom was not to be bound
less, and the schoolmaster was not to have a dwelling like
a baronall of which specifications he might possibly carry
out, even though he had not studied architecture in Italy.
The chief obstacles to be overcome lay in the actual
erection of the structure. The master carpenter was
anxious to do work at the schoolhouse only when the
formers had no occasion for his services. The latter, again,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 329

would only consent to supply conveyances for the material

when their horses were not wanted for their own or other
purposes. Finally, the churchwarden kept saying, hurrying
never did any good, and that the morrow brings another
day. Hence it was, that the erection of the new building,
first delayed till spring, was ultimately deferred till after
the hay harvest. Meantime, the old schoolhouse was taken
down, and we had to remove to a tenement that, during
the winter, had been occupied by one Toni, a cowherd of
Lucerne.
The chief point, namely, the resolution to build, having
been decided upon, the next thing was the selection of a
locality. That also was soon settled, for, as a matter of
course, the new building was to be erected on the site of
the old one, more particularly as it would be in nobody's
way there. It was lucky that such was the case, as the
choice of a site for a schoolhouse is usually a troublesome
affair. No one wants it near, no one too far away, and a
spot to suit everybody's taste is not easily found. There
was also some discussion about the appointment of an ar
chitect, but all seemed satisfied the old carpenter was the
man for them. This personage, who lived in a neighbour
ing village, besides being a carpenter, was a kind of small
farmer, and rather clever at drawing plans ; above all, he
was endowed with the art of disguising his real sentiments,
for, when he did bamboozle a building committee,- he man
aged it so that his victims did not find it out.
It grieved me to see the old ruin of a house disappear.
It had been a silent witness of many painful scenes, but
also of the happiest moments of my life ; in one corner
my children had been born, in another, the little coffin of
the angel baby had rested; on the oven, my wife and I
had often sat and opened our hearts to each other; at the
broken windows with the round panes, I had often stood
watching for happiness, and been rewarded with disap
pointment. Every nook and cranny of the old place re
called to my remembrance some incident or other calculated
to awaken grief, but sometimes also pleasure; all were
memorials of bygone days, with their joys and sorrows.
From the latter, time takes away the sting, whilst the
330 JOYS AND SORROWS

former always awaken a pleasing sensation in the breast.

So it was, the old wreck had become endeared to us. I felt
inclined to shed a few tears over it as a departing friend,
and Madely actually did so.
Building is a notoriously slow process, especially in a
country village; but in our case, the process was some
times arrested altogether; the churchwarden's opinion that
hurrying did no good, and that to-morrow was a new day,
often brought the operations to a stand-still. In October,
Toni, the cowherd, arrived from the mountain, with his eight
children, and his wife weighing two hundred weight, and
all this extra humanity had to be packed with us into one
small room. On the first of December, the churchwarden
had not completed the contract about the windows, and on
the first of January succeeding, they had not been put in.
The beginning of the new year was bitterly cold, the snow
blinding both man and beast, but we had to move into the
new house. As i3 usually the case with new tenements
just out of the builder's hands, neither the doors nor the
windows would shut ; the wind blew about the flame of the
lamp, and our hands became moist when we touched the
walls.
When the school was about to be resumed, the question
occurred to me, Should the new house not be consecrated
in some way ? I had heard such a thing spoken of, though
I had never seen it done. I thought the minister ought to
have been invited to ask a blessing on the building as soon
as the timber work had been finished. When I reflected
on my own neglect in this matter, I did not feel at all com
fortable in my new quarters. Call it superstition, prejudice,
or what you will, it seemed to me that I was living in a
state of outlawry as regards God. It appeared to me that
not only man at his birth and at his marriage ought to be
placed under the Divine protection, but also the dwelling
in which he is to live and die, where his children are to
have their being ; which is to be the magnet that draws
and retains himself and wife together, as also his harbour
and solace in the tempests of life. For without God's
blessing, it can neither be a magnet, a harbour of refuge,
nor a solace.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 331

I therefore walked off to the manse, and asked the min

ister whether he did not think the schoolhouse ought to he
consecrated, and, if so, whether he would perform the chief
part in the ceremony. He replied, it all depended on what
I meant by the term consecration. If I referred to ever
greens and garlands of flowers, processions and parade, he
would rather have nothing to do with it ; he was not partial
to vain show in religious things. But if I meant by conse
cration, simply a thanksgiving for mercies vouchsafed, and
a prayer for the Divine blessing, then he would most cor
dially lend his services, and at the same time hold the first
catechising class in the new schoolroom. He had no objec
tion, however, if, in addition to his part of the proceedings,
I could get up an edifying hymn for the occasion, which
the children might sing. As a matter of course, I fully
concurred in all that he suggested, and declared my willing
ness to abide entirely by his instructions.
The Sunday fixed for the ceremony came round, and so
did the minister. There were no garlands in the school
room, but it was crowded to excess with women. Such a
thing as consecrating a new schoolhouse had not occurred
in their time, and consequently they were all anxious to be
present. The minister commenced the proceedings by
asking a blessing on the schoolhouse, the people of the
district, and the children. He then addressed the persons
present very fervently, spoke of the development of the
human mind, the necessity for nourishing and exercising
the intellectual powers, explained how the young mind
was affected by the objects and actions passing around it ;
this he illustrated by saying that if a child heard nothing
but cats mewing and the twittering of sparrows, it would
continue to mew like a cat and twitter like a sparrow till
other sounds caught its ear. " What a child learns in its
infancy," he added, " not only affects it as regards its
career in this world, but also as regards that to come. If
it is taught nothing, it knows nothing ; its own instinct
may acquaint it there is a God to whom it owes its ex
istence, but, unless told that its Creator has vouchsafed
the Holy Scriptures, it will know nothing of everlasting
life. Instinct will inspire faith, but this perception must
332 JOYS AND SORKOWS

also be trained in a proper direction, or, in other words,

taught that faith in Christ and obedience to his ordinances
are the only means of salvation. This belief once instilled
into the young mind, we need only show, by our own con
duct and example, the path to be followed, and it will
adopt that path ; whether to happiness or eternal perdition,
depends very much on ourselves as parents, instructors,
and ministers. As regards doctrine, or the means of ob
taining Divine grace, all that need be taught is embraced
in the three words, ' Search the Scriptures.' Still, to those
whose worldly occupations prevent them from devoting
sufficient time to this great duty, a knowledge of the general
summary given in the shorter Catechism will be of essential
service; and one of the objects for which lam here to-day,
is to ascertain the proficiency of the children in this matter.
I would have you observe, that man only is the image of
God, when purified from sin, and sanctified, walking in a
spirit of holiness. Obedience to God's holy will is a
treasure to the soul ; to live without faith in Christ is a
living death. All the money chests and well-filled grana
ries, and other worldly treasures, will not compensate for
the want of faith in the soul. Therefore, it behoves parents
to regard the souls of their children as chests and granaries
which they ought to fill with the precious fruits and metal
of the Gospel of Christ. These chests and granaries are
not left behind on the earth ; they are carried with the
soul everywhere, and cannot be got rid of. What men
and women have stored up in their minds will be their
portion in eternity, whether it be much or little, salvation
or damnation."
The minister discoursed in this way so eloquently, that it
occurred to me I could not, had I tried, have done the thing
nearly so well myself. When he finished, the children
sang the hymn I had selected for them and slightly altered
to suit the occasion. The ceremony passed oif very beau
tifully ; and we fondly thought the people were going home
with edified minds.
This view of the case was, however, somewhat dissipated
by a conversation I overheard as the assembly were passing
out. The amman's wife having nudged the lady of the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 333

governor, " Do you know, said she, " I am afraid the min
ister is a little cranky, and if he does not turn out a fool,
I am no judge; to think of turning the children's heads,
or minds as he calls them, into chests and granaries, and
stuffing them full of fruit and metal ; the thing is abso
lutely ridiculous ; and then, he says, they will be able to
carry the whole with them beyond the grave. Now, we
harvest two hundred quarters of spelt, without reckoning
rye and barley, every year, and to think of stuffing all that
into our children's minds ! If that is not folly, I do not
know what is. Certainly, if we could get such things into
our heads, or souls either for that matter, we might carry
them with us to the other world ; but the difficulty seems
to me to get them there, and the minister has told us
nothing about that." What the governor's lady said in
reply, I did not hear.
The women and children having left, the governor stepped
up to the minister, and, shaking him by the hand, said
smirkingly, " Now you see, your reverence, poor as our
people are, they have managed to build a new schoolhouse,
eh ? What is more, it is bigger than the Liittikofers', and,
besides, it is paid entirely off without any borrowing ; then
the schoolmaster has got a dwelling as good as that of the
district judge ; what does your reverence say to taking a
look at it ? "
The latter having no objections, I led both gentlemen
into my apartments. My wife blushed when she saw the
minister enter, though, in reality, she had not very much
to blush about ; the household was not in a state of topsy
turvy, the beds not unmade, the rooms not unswept, the
children not unwashed, the oven not covered over with
stockings and trousers full of holes. Probably she blushed,
because it was the first time his reverence, for whom she
entertained a great respect, had entered our parlour, or had
spoken to her. He expressed his admiration at the tidiness
and order which her house displayed, the more so, that
she differed in that respect from schoolmasters' wives
generally.
Madely offered to make some coffee for us; but the
governor said the minister would go and take some re
334 JUYS AND SORROWS

freshment -with him. He asked me to accompany them,

but I respectfully declined the honour. I mentioned, how
ever, to his reverence, as he left, that I was anxious to
consult him as to the arrangements for the new school,
being rather at a loss how to proceed. " Aye, aye, school
master," remarked the governor, " you must make our
lads a little smarter, otherwise the folks at Berne will be
too clever for us." The minister told me to turn some
plan over in my mind, then call upon him, and he would
see what could be done with it.
Now I set to work musing and musing, but almost came
to the conclusion, like a certain carpenter, that musing and
pondering were the most profitless things in the world. I
could devise nothing for improving the children, beyond
increasing my own diligence, thinking I might do that
by entering the schoolroom every morning at eight, not
dismissing the children till four, and mending the pens
during the midday interval. Besides this, I thought it
would be an advantage to teach the measurement of hay
stacks by fractions, which would be less likely to confound
a calculator, after he learnt how to do it. A little dicta
tion, I fancied might likewise be judiciously thrown in, and
also, that it might not be amiss to make the 'boys copy a
set of receipts. I had heard something of the mutual or
monitorial system, and had even been told it was wonder
fully effective, but, as I knew nothing at all about it, I re
solved to ask the minister whether he could set me a-going
in that.
With these results of my mental conflictions, I started
off one fine winter's evening for the manse, and having
communicated the results of my deliberations to fits oc
cupant, asked him whether he could give me any informa
tion about the mutual method. He told me the method
consisted of nothing more than a particular way of im
parting instruction, and not in new branches of education.
It was nothing more than making one child teach another
what it had itself learned; but by its means, the teachers
being in a manner multiplied, the children were always
kept at work, and their time turned to more account. I
rather liked the idea, and said I would introduce it next
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 335

day ; the more so, that I had been accustomed to practise

it to some extent already, having made the bigger children
hear the little ones their lessons. I was rather annoyed
to find that a smile hovered on the lips of his reverence
when I made this remark. " No, no, schoolmaster," he
said, " do the thing properly; it cannot be done so quickly.
I am afraid you would do very little good if you go on in
the way you propose; there are two things requisite to
make the monitorial system successful; and I do not know
how you are with regard to these requisites." [
" In the first place," he continued, " the eutire school
must be arranged into classes or divisions, not according
to the size of the children, or the number of cows possessed
by their parents, but according to the subjects taught in
the school, and the children of each of these classes again
arranged, not according to height, but according to the
proficiency of each in the particular branch of study. Thus,
suppose the children learning to spell ; let these be col
lected together into one class, next divided into bad spellers,
fair spellers, and good spellers, and at the head of each
of these, let the best of each be placed to teach the others
of that class. To be successful in the monitorial or Lan-
casterian system, you must, therefore, clearly define your
grades, arid know the precise point of that grade each
child has reached, and also the point at which it may be
advanced to the higher form. In the second place, the
child selected to teach the others of its form, must be per
fectly familiar with the subject up to its own stand-point,
and, to enable the monitors to impart their knowledge to
others, they must be taught themselves according to some
well-defined plan, everything being made clear and com
prehensible to them, so that they may never be at a loss or
feel embarrassed. Without this, the mutual system becomes
a mere mechanical routine of no benefit; no faculty of the
child is awakened, except that of imitation, which is pro
perly an attribute of the ape. When you have trained
your monitors, then your own trouble will begin ; you
must be constantly here, there, and everywhere ; present
in every circle, you must yourself guide the instructor, and
take care not so far to lose sight of any child as to be un
336 JOTS AND SORROWS

able to determine its peculiar faculties, and know the exact

progress it makes from day to day. What think you now,
schoolmaster ; do you still imagine you can have all that
in proper working order by to-morrow ? "
I replied that now I saw it could not be done, and I
said so all the more sincerely, that I did not clearly com
prehend what he meant by the grades of the divisions. I
asked him, therefore, how he thought I ought to begin.
" Before all, schoolmaster," he replied, " it will be re
quisite to divide the school into classes. There are the
A.B.C. pupils, the spellers, the readers, and the question-
bookers. These last you have now in two divisions, namely,
those that are learning, and those that have gone entirely
through, the catechism. Now let us add to these, divinity,
arithmetic, and writing, and divide them also into sections,
so as to get the whole properly in hand. Then, when the
children are ranged into some kind of order, the next thing
is to distribute the time so as to proportion the number
of hours to the importance of the subject, and in such
manner that the classes may not interfere with each other,
and you may be able to attend to the one without neglecting
the other. Without a proportionate division of the time,
the whole system is worthless; sometimes one thing being
neglected and sometimes another, according to the humour
of the teacher, his preference in regard to particular
branches or the degree he is acquainted with them."
At this point, I remarked to his reverence, that such an
hour-plan had already occurred to me ; but that it appeared
to me one must be guided in the arrangement by the
number of children that come to school each day. My
practice hitherto had been, first, to hear the lessons learnt
by heart, and then to read in the forenoon, the more ad
vanced pupils being engaged in arithmetic in the afternoon.
After reading, the senior pupils wrote the rest of the time;
and we had singing three times a week.
" Very good ; that is all right enough ; but when do the
junior pupils do their arithmetic and writing," enquired the
minister.
"Why," said I, "they have nothing to do with either.
I have enough to do to hear their lessons, and teach them
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 337

reading ; as fop teaching them writing and arithmetic as

-well, that appeared totally oat of the question. Surely,"
added I, " your reverence does not think that possible."
"Possible!" exclaimed the minister; "most assuredly
I do ; and, as I have already sajd, it is the easiest thing
in the world, with a proper division of time. Besides, if
you do not commence your school improvements with the
younger children, all your efforts will be fruitless. Unfor
tunately, people generally pay little heed to what is taught
the younger children ; but that is a great mistake. To
take pains with the older, and neglect the younger, is be
ginning at the wrong end. The practice in our village
schools is precisely the converse of what it ought to be.
Schools are supposed to develop the latent faculties of the
young mind ; but, instead of that, our schools deaden and
stagnate these faculties. In them the children are made
thoughtless; and their evil passions are confirmed. On
quitting the school, they no longer have ears to hear, nor
eyes to see. Nothing can be more pernicious to the
dawning intellect than to place children, during the years
of their greatest vivacity and activity, in a state of restraint
for hours together, making them stare at letters and words
that convey no ideas to their plastic minds, and then
causing them, by way of variety, to give these letters and
words certain conventional sounds. All this is not only
wrong, but positively wicked. The horrible monotony
weakens the child's spirit ; and if the children are not at
tended to at home, they rarely learn even to read at school;
or if they do, the process is miserably slow. For this
reason, they naturally acquire a dislike to all kinds of in
struction ; hence it is that, at the catechising class, the
children could not tell me what either the catechism or the
Bible Selections contained, though they had read both
twice over, and could repeat the greater part of them by
heart."
" Teachers," continued his reverence, c rarely make
themselves sufficiently masters of a child's thoughts to
exercise dominion over, and direct them to a particular
subject, so as to enable the child to comprehend it ; yet,
without that be done, all instruction is nugatory. The
z
338 JOYS AND SORROWS

child is not taught to reflect upon, and inwardly digest,

what it reads; indeed, it is not expected to understand
what it learns. Its fancies, heing thus left unemployed
and unrestrained, hecome lawless; hence it is why reason
able people are such slaveto their impulses and prejudices;
hence it is also that so many schoolmasters complain in the
spring that they can no longer take any pleasure in their
schools, because their ablest pupils have left, those that
remain being only likely to give them trouble. It is right,
however, that they should suffer a little in some way, since
the fault altogether lies with themselves. Having devoted
their attention to a few of the elder children, and not
having distributed it uniformly over the whole school, they
have no after growth. The people, however, are quite as
hopelessly ignorant about the real uses of a school as the
schoolmasters themselves. At the examination, the latter
glory in exhibiting a few specimens of writing and
examples of arithmetical rules : if the children happen to
answer a few set questions correctly, the whole of the
examiners present are in an ecstasy of delight ; all the
things exhibited are the work of a few of the elder children.
As to the wretched state of the younger, no one takes the
slightest notice, for none of them know that, in properly
conducted schools, a uniform progress as regards all the
pupils is deemed a matter of course."
" If, therefore," observed the minister, in conclusion,
" you are sincerely bent on improving the school, you must
begin at the base, not at the apex, teaching the younger
children a little writing, arithmetic, and other things, as
well as their seniors. By this means, you will find that
not only their faculty of comprehension is increased ; but
also that they themselves are brisker, more lively, and
easier managed in school."
I sat listening to this oration in a state of the. utmost
bewilderment. Though I had heard another minister
speak of teaching all the children, young and old, rich and
poor, writing and arithmetic, I had not yet conceived it
possibly could be done by mortal man. It, therefore, struck
me that, after all, the amman's wife might be right in her
surmise, that the minister really was slightly touched, or,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 339

in point of fact, a little crazy. I consequently stared at

him to observe what sort of a face he made in advancing
such an absurd proposition. Seeing that he maintained
his gravity, I said modestly, I did not see how such a plan
could be carried out; that I doubted whether the younger
children had sense enough to comprehend such things ;
that there was scarcely time in a large school to teach the
younger children even reading and spelling, much less
anything else. Finally, that I did not know what the
heritors would say to such a project ; they had not been
accustomed to have the children of the tenantry taught
writing, and might not approve of it.
In reply, his reverence asked me if I could tell him
what amount of comprehension the children required to
understand the things I now professed to teach them ?
Also, whether I thought it required one kind of under
standing to make out a printed character, and another to
decipher a written one ? " Be assured, schoolmaster,"
he went on to say, " that, as regards writing, it would be
more of an amusement than a task to the younger children.
Imitation is one of the most pleasing occupations for the
young, a fact we may learn any day by watching them
engaged in their amusements." He felt persuaded, if the
teacher went about his work judiciously, the children would
take more pleasure in school ; nay, their enjoyment would
increase n the exact ratio their intellectual faculties and
thirst for knowledge were called into play. Moreover, he
requested me to consider whether children did not actually
acquire more between their first to their fourth year, than
many of them did throughout their whole life after. If that
were so, it would be quite possible to make children of six
or seven better informed than we have them now at six
teen or seventeen ; and that, too, without even putting a
book into their hands."
" What you say may be very true," urged I ; " but if we
taught the children writing and other things, they would
be all the longer in learning to read. As it was, many of
them had not even acquired that branch alone when they
left school and entered the catechising class."
" Quite the reverse," insisted his reverence. " Surely I
340 jors AND SORROWS
did not suppose the children were learning to read, who
were standing aside whilst the master was engaged hearing
the others their lessons. They were, on the contrary, worse
than idle ; not one half of them were looking at their
hooks, and many of those that did were not thinking of
what their eyes were fixed upon. On the other hand, if
they were kept at work on a variety of subjects, and were
not wearied by having always the same thing before them,
they would return to the book again with renewed appetite,
and learn more in a quarter of an hour than otherwise in
two whole ones. As a proof of this, he referred me to the
well-known song of the Journeyman Locksmith.'
I quietly shook my head, and thought to myself that his
reverence surely ought not to profess to know more about
the capacity of children than myself. I was always in the
midst of them ; whereas his knowledge was acquired,
probably, from his books. Still, I did not venture to con
tradict him a second time on the same subject, merely
offering it as my opinion that, whilst what he said might
be perfectly correct, the schoolmaster, who had no time
now to teach the younger children reading, would find it
difficult to instruct them in that and in writing as well.
The minister, however, kept insisting the thing could be
-done by order and method. He admitted that schools of
.from a hundred to two hundred children were rather un
wieldy for one master ; but it was precisely in such schools
.that strict order and a methodical arrangement were most
wanted. The more method there was, the more the
teacher could do ; and the more the younger children were
- taught, the better they would get on when they grew up.
Of course, this could not be managed without introducing
the monitorial system. The elder children might very
easily be trained to teach the younger ones reading, spelling,
and the so-called Strasburg tables, and so give them .the
.groundwork of arithmetic. In that way, plenty of time
-will be found to teach them writing.
"Then," observed I, inquiringly, "your reverence really
-suggests that even the young children should be taught
writing and arithmetic ? "
'' I do," replied the minister, gravely, " and, moreover,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 341

they should bring little slates with them to school with

their ABC book."
"What, then, is to become of the learning by heart? "
I inquired,
" That must be done as before, but instead of being done
at school it must be done at home ; all you have got to
do is to point out what the children are to learn, and hear
it said when it is learnt. The elder children can do that
as well as you can, except in so far as regards their own
lessons."
My hair almost began to stand on end when I saw
there was an absolute necessity for me to attempt intro
ducing these horrid innovations. Before, however, ad
mitting their possibility, " What," I inquired, " will the
heritors think of all this ; will they not say that my in
tentions are to repel religion from the school, and convert
all the children into publicans and cheats?"
" Very likely they will," replied his reverence ; " at the
introduction of anything new, there is pretty sure to be art
outcry of some kind amongst them. You must, therefore,
act cautiously and proceed by degrees. No doubt some
of them would like their children taught more than the
others; you may therefore begin with these; others will
follow the example thus set, and the children of the tenantry
may be smuggled in by degrees too. In doing your duty,"
he added, "you may venture to incur a little risk; the
hazard you run will ultimately prove profitable to yourself.
The younger children are the quintessence of the school,
yet their time has with us been hitherto vilely frittered
away ; their intellects have been most disgracefully allowed
to rust, or, more properly, to rot away ; that was the chief
reason our schools were so bad." Advising me to con
sider seriously how to get the right kind of life into my
school, he urged me once more to establish strict methodical
order, to have for every minute its apportioned task ; then,
I would discover what could be done by one who has the
will and a moderate quantity of ability. Method, he added,
was not so easily brought into play where there was no
space, but now, in my new schoolroom, I had a fair oppor
tunity to introduce improvements. Where there is no
342 JOYS AND SORROWS
room, one's best laid plans may be stifled like turnips
sown too thickly, but now I had at least space enough to
work in.
Thus the minister dismissed me, my head full of the
crotchets he had stuffed into it. I pondered a long time,
and at length came to the conclusion that if he really
deemed practicable what he advised me to do, he might
have taken the trouble to set me a-going in it himself, told
me item by item how I was to proceed, or drawn up for
me a general plan of the division of time he recommended.
It even seemed to me he was defective in the very kind of
systematic arrangement he himself advocated. He had
told me what to do, but had not told me comprehensibly
how to do it. As it was, I knew not how, or with what,
or where to begin. On reflection, however, I could not
help admitting that generally when I asked his advice con
cerning any one thing which I had thoroughly digested in
my own mind, he invariably explained himself very lucidly
and clearly, and often gave me very useful hints regard
ing it.
For this reason, before commencing operations, I again
applied to him for assistance in carrying out the scheme,
stating as my reason he was more familiar with it than
I was.
He replied to me laughingly, " No, no, Mr. School
master, I shall take very good care to do nothing of the
sort. The less I am supposed to have to do with your
school, the better for you; besides, I have two other
reasons for reticence. The first of these is, that you ought
to accustom yourself to think on such subjects for your
self, and not apply for aid till you find yourself at your
wits' end. Secondly, you schoolmasters are an odd set
of people ; you would not be satisfied with any plan or
system laid down for your guidance ; you would discover
all sorts of faults in it, and fancy it was devised simply to
annoy you. In some countries there is, I know, a regular
system of school-management laid down on the hour
system, which must be followed in all schools under all
circumstances; but such a plan, if insisted upon here,
would, I am afraid, drive most of our schoolmasters to
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 343

distraction, and create a tumult amongst the people. I

might state another reason for declining to take an active
part in the management of the schools, hut those I have
given you will, perhaps, suffice for the present."

CHAPTER XXXVII.
Br way of putting the minister's recommendation into
practical operation, and generally adopting the hour and
monitorial system, I set the elder children to work in
teaching the younger ones. I also had a black board
made, which I had to pay for out of my own pocket, the
commune refusing point blank to put itself to any more
expense on account of the school, and this outlay on my
part obliged my wife to have an old worn out saucepan
mended instead of buying a more convenient new one.
I began, in accordance with the minister's recommenda
tion, to teach the younger children writing, by drawing
the written characters on the black board. They had,
however, to get acquainted with them by sight only, for
as yet I had not ventured to tell any of them to bring
slates. I at last stated formally to some of the readers
who were about to begin to commit their lessons to memory,
that the minister had suggested they might do the learning
by heart at home, and might bring slates to do sums and
writing in school.
Next day most of the children brought me back word
that father had told them he wanted to have them taught
in the usual way, that he did not care a pin what the
minister said, that scribbling and calculating was of no use
to them, being so young, their understanding was not
mature enough for that sort of thing, consequently he
would not buy slates for them, and that, if 1 was not
satisfied with this information, I might say so, and Vie
would call himself and tell me a bit of his mind. One
of the parents complained about his children being taught
the written characters before they knew perfectty the
printed ones ; this, he said, would cause great confusion
in their minds, and do them a world of mischief. Another,
344 JOYS AND SORROWS

who was a trader, called upon me, and said I was quite
right in teaching the children writing and arithmetic, but
as for learning the catechism at home, he did not want his
boy to be bothered with that, either there or at school ; he
intended sending him to Italy shortly, where catechismal
knowledge would do him more harm than good. He
added, that he was glad to see I was enabling the children
to earn their daily bread, for, after all, writing and arith
metic were very useful to young people who had to make
their own way in the world.
Till now, the parents had paid very little attention to
the way I managed the school, or what I taught the chil
dren. So long as I displayed a little industry, that is, if
I always made my appearance in due time, and if the
children occasionally said at home, The schoolmaster
wrought very hard to-day, he got quite warm and had to
throw off his coat, they were all quite satisfied. Under
such circumstances, I had nothing to dread from them ;
if the letters in the copybooks of the children exhibited at
the examination were an inch long, and if any of them,
when asked to read or pray, roared out the passage or
prayer at the top of their voices, loud enough to make the
rafters ring and frighten the cat out of its hiding-place
tinder the oven ; still the parents continued satisfied. The
children, they declared, learned a good deal, the school
master is a hard-working man, and deserving of all praise.
Now, however, owing to the innovations, I had stirred
up a wasps' nest about my ears. Every one of the heritors
wanted to have things managed each in his own way, but
most of them inclining towards falling back upon the old
system. This state of things placed me in an extremely
disagreeable position. One day I mentioned to Wehrdi
how 1 was worried on account of the new arrangements.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, laughing, "you must not mind
that sort of thing ; nothing else could be expected from
people taught by the ignorant or designing rascals of
schoolmasters that have preceded you. Most of the farmers
have contributed in some way towards building the new
schoolhouse; some have paid money, others have furnished
wood, and a few have supplied the cartage ; each, conse
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 345

quently, imagines the building belongs to himself, and he

naturally thinks he has a right to command the school
master ; on the other hand, he does not always rule the
roast in his own house; he issues commands, and so forth,
but are they attended to ? Not a bit of it. So, also, you
had better treat the farmers as their wives treat themlet
them issue orders to their hearts' content ; you say nothing
about it, and go on managing the school in whatever way
you think proper. Moreover, you are introducing some
thing new, and must expect to rouse their ire ; the same
thing would happen if they were asked to cover up their
cesspools ; nothing so likely to excite their indignation, as
to attempt introducing a useful improvement amongst
them. Even as regards their own personal comforts, they
do not like changes for the better. An old farmer, when
he puts on a new cowl, will keep swearing at it for weeks
after, declaring the tailors now-a-days can do nothing right,
they had done much better in former times ; but, in the
end, the new cowl becomes old, and, in course of time,
quite as much a favourite as the one before had been."
" All you have got to do, schoolmaster," he added, " is
not to attempt entering into a discussion with them. Not
one of them will listen to reason. The Gytiwylers imagine
themselves to be the wisest of created beings. They can
judge the weight of a cow within ten pounds, its offal
within seven, its hide within four, and can tell without
erring how many calves she has had ; also whether her
horns have been scraped off and polished. You could not
do all these things; consequently, they consider themselves
ten times better judges than you are of what ought to he
done in a school. No Gytiwyler has the slightest idea
that he is one of the most arrant dunces in Christendom,
and that, beyond the management of cattle, he is in. a
state of the most blissful ignorance. If one of them
happens to be a little cunning in the cow market, he laughs
at all around him, knowing that he can outwit and cheat
most of them whenever he likes; yet that very man coult
not count twenty without losing his way between ten an.
sixteen. The amount of such a man s skill is written o
his face, on his mouth, and on the corners of his eyes, i
346 JOYS AND SORROWS

characters an inch long. I have often felt inclined to tell

these clever fellows that they are nothing better than
grafted donkeys ; that, in places such as Batavia, where
roguery is infinitely more refined, they would be cleared
cut, cows' hides and all, in five minutes. In such countries,
they could only be employed to teach monkeys the art of
talking. It is, however, always so with country people ;
the stupider they are, that is, the less they know how
ignorant they are, the more they are apt to suppose them
selves capable of doing things for which they are utterly
incompetent."
I did not say much to these remarks of Wehrdi's ; for,
in point of fact, I thought he was perfectly right. Still I
was of opinion the farmers had also, in some things, reason
on their side. The minister's plan had thrown many addi
tional burdens on my shoulders ; and there were many
things I could not accomplish. Hence I did not fall very
comfortably with the innovations myself; the complaints I
had to hear about one thing and another, added to the
irksomeness of my position, created within me a distaste
for the new arrangements. I dared not, however, raise
any objections ; but took good care to ask the minister
what I was to do about the merchant who would not allow
his boy to learn the catechism ; and what I was to do with
the younger children now that the parents had refused to
supply them with slates ?
" As regards the latter," he said, " there was nothing to
be done beyond what could be effected by kindness and
persuasion. If I could get two or three induced to bring
the slates, most of the others would do so by degrees.
He could not, however, recommend strong measures, for
they would nowhere find support."
" As regards the merchant's son, that was a different
affair. Every one of the children ought to be compelled
to learn something or other by heart, if not the Catechism,
at all events something equally useful. Formerly, scarcely
anything had been done in the schools, save that one thing ;
the children were made to learn by heart, even before they
had learnt to spell ; as to their understanding what they
^sarnt, that was neither expected nor thought necessary.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 347

The result of such a system, he conceived to be neither

more nor less than useless labour. It was equally non
sensical to have the children commit nothing at all to
memory : yet some looked upon what was so learnt merely
as a thing to be tolerated, owing to its having been long
the practice in schools. Memory is a faculty, by no means
the least important, like all others requiring to be
strengthened by constant exercise, so that it may be
always ready to fulfil the duties it has to perform. More
over, it was exactly those children who had the greatest
difficulty in learning by heart that ought to be kept most
closely at the work, instead of, as is often foolishly done,
excusing them on account of the trouble it gives them.
Of course, endeavours ought to be made at the same time,
as regards these children, to promote the development of
the faculty, which may be done in a variety of ways.
Many young people, who apparently have a bad memory,
merely do not possess the power of fixing their minds
readily on a particular subject ; and this is a deficiency
which, if not supplied in some way, would eventually dis
qualify the child from engaging in any serious matter.
Schooling is designed to invigorate, refresh, and enlarge
the mental faculties ; not to surfeit and blunt them by
overdoses of mechanical labour. You may explain that,"
said he, " to the merchant when you see him."
1 now asked his reverence whether it might not be ad
visable for him to call the people together, and, in urging
them to do their duty, get them to act towards their
children in a sensible manner. I added that it would be
extremely difficult for me to go on with the improvements,
if this were not done ; the more so that Wehrdi has said
the farmers were too stupid to comprehend such things
without they were driven into their heads from without, as
also that the more ignorant a man was, the more head
strong and prejudiced he continued to be."
" What our friend Wehrdi has told you, schoolmaster,
is so far correct; but he ist" somewhat of a satirist, as well
as a man of the world," replied the minister. " When I
see any of the people," he continued, " I will speak to
them as a matter of course ; but, as for calling them to
348 JOYS AND SORROWS

gether for the express purpose of lecturing them about

schoolmasters, that is totally out of the question. I have
no power to enforce any demands I made, and that they
know as well as I do. Moreover, such things cannot be
controlled by force ; improvements may be introduced into
the school by judicious management : it is for you to ac
complish that. If you get the children to take a liking
for a particular branch of study, they will defend the inno
vation at home, and coax the money from their parents to
purchase the requisite implements : a child who solicits
pertinaciously, generally has the request granted. As for
the rest, Wehrdi is rather too severe upon the heritors.
Every class of people have their defects and their good
qualities ; none are entirely destitute of the latter. And
so it is with our farmers ; at all events, there is no use in
arguing on the subject, for we must, in the long run, take
people just as we find them. He would advise me simply
to move gently ahead, to take up one thing after another ;
not to lose courage, and everything would come out right
in the end.
I returned home with this answer, rather out of humour,
for I thought that since his reverence had pushed me into
the mire, he might assist in pulling me out again. On
entering the house, I found two of the farmers awaiting
my arrival. One of them complained that I wasted a great
deal of the younger children's time by playing with them
at beans and chestnuts. This complaint arose from an
expedient I had adopted in accordance with the minister's
advice, to teach them to count, as they had no slates. The
farmer went on to say that the schoolmaster was rather a
costly functionary, and that playing with the children could
be done by the nursemaid at home. The other pater
familias protested solemnly against my not hearing the
younger children their A.B.C.'s myself. Daring the last
three days, his little Hansly had said his lesson to Sigrist's
Babi, and not to me, as he ought to have done ; and little
Hansly did not think he was properly treated.
Both farmers agreed in admitting I had been a fair
schoolmaster at one time ; but that since the new school-
house was built things had been going from bad to worse,
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 349

and they did not exactly see where the process of getting
worse was likely to end.
I confess these complaints deeply annoyed me, and I
was still more provoked, on hearing that the Governor
intended sending his son, because he made no progress
with me, to one of the select schools recently established
in our vicinity for the sons of wealthy farmers. The reason
he assigned for this was that I stuck too long to the same
thing ; his boy had been made to copy one slip three
times running. Such a proceeding was never heard of;
besides doing the same tiling over and over again, could do
no good. I conceived a rooted ill feeling against the
minister, who, as I fancied, had worked me into all this
mischief ; and to some extent, at least inwardly, I chimed
in with those who, accusing the parsons of playing false to
the people, argued that they should be done away with
altogether. The villagers would not be much worse off
without them ; they only worked one day out of seven, and
did very little good on that one, while their schoolmaster
kept on working every day, and was very useful to them
selves and their children.

CHAPTER XXXVIII.
Before thousands of the people became aware of it, the
regeneration of Switzerland was accomplished. The July
revolution in France had swept away the old aristocracy
who had monopolised the offices of the state. Equality
prevailed in the Republic of Berne, and every one had an
equal claim to the vacated seats.
Tausend Schwerenoth ! what grand things were now to
be realized! What could not now be done by those that
had heads ! When this wide vista of the future opened
itself up to the Bernese, numbers of them were seized
with repentance for having neglected to cultivate their
minds during the unoccupied years of youth. Not a few
brought forth the inkstand, rubbed off the accumulated
dust, blew away the cobwebs, and, moistening the hardened
350 JOYS AND SORROWS
crust within, tried in their back parlours whether they could
actually write their own names.
A loud cry then arose for educational progress, for schools
of every kind, and teachers of all denominations. The people
shouted, as if at a conflagration, for implements of instruc
tion, educational fire-engines, and buckets of mental ac
quirements. Good schools, and good schoolmasters, were
now considered essential requisites for the national resur
rection.
The mountains re-echoed with these shouts, and the
reverberation brought the sweet sounds to our ears. Zeal
for cultivation seemed to have seized upon the whole
country ; all yearned for the time when a child entering
into the world, could at once scream out, twice one is two,
and twice two are four ; when the goat-herds and dust-
boys would wrangle about the exact number of primitive
verbs; when every Michael Hans in the Upperland and
the Lowerland would be doctor of some science, and when
the milkman could jump into a learned professor's breeches
whenever he got tired of carrying his pails. All felt con
fident that every member and memberkin of the sovereign
people possessed within him the demon or genius of know
ledge, which the confounded parsons had hitherto contrived
to prevent slipping out of its shell, like a chick from the
egg. It was supposed by many, that if the clergymen
could by some means be got rid of, the people would wake
up in a whirl some fine morning, and by the evening every
mother's son would have become a well of wisdom, com
pared to whom Plato was an ass, and Socrates a fool.
The idea that the parsons were the root of all evil, took
so firm a possession of the newly enfranchised people, that
they exerted themselves to the utmost to destroy or weaken
their influence, so that they might not be able to retard
the delivery of the anxiously expected intellectual mil
lennium. For the purpose of superintending the new
birth, and checking the operations of the clergy, a variety
of authorities were appointed, at the top of whom was
placed the Board of Education.
From the very outset, the State department, known as
the Educational Board, was jealous of all the other autho
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 351

Tities appointed to act in concert with it, under the im

pression that it embraced within itself all the intelligence
and experience requisite to ensure the regeneration of the
nation. But, notwithstanding this omniscience as regards
the people, it very soon became at issue with itself. A split
within its ranks was brought about by the senior member,
Mr. Fellenberg, of Hofwyl, who differed from his colleagues
in some of their fundamental views. He was the most
influential personage of the Board, but, unfortunately for
the utility of the institution, he entertained the opinion
that the salvation of the Republic of Berne depended upon
its pedagogic legislation being entirely subject to his
guidance,-and centred at Hofwyl under his control.
He carried on the contest in a manner peculiarly his own.
A patrician of Berne, he was esteemed in preference to the
mass of his peers, because he evinced no desire to ascend
in the usual way, from post by post, to honours and wealth.
If he coveted dignity and power, he at least did not adopt
the conventional means of attaining either. Like others,
he saw clearly enough the advent of a new era; but,
instead of appearing as a leader, he permitted himself to
be rocked about amidst the heaving billows. This sort
of position is not, however, congenial to the genuine man
of Barne; he likes to grasp something tangible within his
ten fingers. No one can accuse the Bernese of being
Idealists, and, like his neighbours, Mr. Fellenberg took
hold of two of the subjects that were agitating the minds
of his countrymen, namely, agricultural progress, and the
desire for a more rational system of education. In this
taking in hand two things, he displayed a remarkable talent
for combination, weaving them together so closely that a
difference of opinion exists to this day, as to whether
agricultural progress or mental instruction were his main
object, as also, whether he sought the good of his fellow-
citizens, or merely his own personal aggrandisement.
The subject of these discussions alone could decide the
questions in dispute. Had he listened to all, and acted
in quiet eagerness with the great means at his command,
according to the dictates of his own convictions, regardless
352 JOYS AND SORROWS

of the yelping of the cur3 around him, then his works

would have spoken, his detractors would have beensilenced,
and the father of Hofwyl might have become the father
of his country. But the reverse was the case ; he engaged
in controversy with a vehemence which led lookers on to
suspect that he neither possessed a clear conscience nor a
great mind.
His differences with his colleagues had a most fatal
effect on the development of educational reform, and, in
directly, upon the well-being of us schoolmasters, whom
popular clamour had led to expect certain substantial ad
vantages. Beating up for allies against his adversaries,
Fellenberg pitched upon the parochial schoolmasters : we
were to be placed as light troops in the vanguard, and
were to be used as the enfans pcrdus when a breach was
to be effected in the enemies' battery. For this purpose,
our attention was specially invited to Hofwyl, or, at least,
to the system of education advanced there; and, to induce
us to see more clearly its prominent advantages, we were
plentifully regaled with sweet words, had our shoulders
tapped confidentially, and were respectfully addressed as
" worthy man," or " good friend." Our imagination was
specially kindled by being assured that we should be
emancipated from all kind of priestly domination ; charm
ing pictures were shown to us of the dignity, free position,
and the respect due to the instructors of 80,000 young
citizens. We were even told we constituted the most im
portant element in the State, acknowledged as labourers
worthy of our hire, and as martyrs, to whom at length the
crown was due.
Who will censure the schoolmasters, whose means of
becoming acquainted with the great world were extremely
limited, if we did not understand the value or meaning of
the compliments paid us at Hofwyl ? Who can blame us,
if, unaccustomed to combat wiles and intrigues, pressed
by our position, and burdened with a thousand cares, we,
allowing ourselves to be led like sheep to the halter, lost
our heads, and had the ground knocked from under our
feet ? Who shall cast the first stone at us, if we regarded
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 853

Mr. Fellenberg not only as our benefactor, but r.s our

father and saviour, placing in him the utmost confidence
and the most implicit faith ?
Meantime, the bloodless but envenomed disputes, in
which we were unconsciously led to take a part, retarded
all progress, and prevented the realization of the hopes
of our own material amendment.
Although flattered and praised at Hofwyl to our hearts'
content, another feeling had entered into the minds of
many amongst us. A distrust had crept into our secret
thoughts as to the extent of our own acquirements. In
spite of all our outcry, we began to fear that we were not
quite so perfect as we ought to be, and, in fact, that we
laboured under too many defects to deem ourselves properly
qualified for the requirements of the age as instructors of
youth, consequently, that, in reality we were not exactly
the class of men on whose shoulders the future race of
mankind should rest. A presentiment of the dignity of
our calling, coupled with a notion of the immense distance-
that existed between what we were and what we fancied
we were, arose in our minds. Hence, a burning thirst for-
the acquisition of knowledge came over us ; and many felt
an ardent desire to avail themselves of the new sources ot
obtaining instruction that had been recently opened up.
It was touching to observe the effects of this impulse.
Men with bald crowns and aged frames hastened to the
training establishment, and submitted to an endless amount
of profitless scribbling with pious resignation ; their devo
tion would have been praiseworthy on the part of younger
men, but in the old, unaccustomed to close study, it was
altogether marvellous. It was curious, also, to observe how
some of the old stagers wavered. Was he to follow the
impulse, or was he to remain as he was ? became a general
question. When one of them took the subject into his
mind, he would go with a heavy heart to his wife ; many
a half night would be spent in consultation as to what
could be done; whether the wife could attend to the house
hold affairs, the field work, keep the children in order, and
manage during her husband's absence to do without his
earnings. The desires of the latter becoming more intense,
A A
351 JOYS AND SORROWS

the wife, restraining her tears, would consent by a kiss to

the inevitable necessity. Next comes the parting ; he looks
back when a little way off, and observes his wife, with her
five children and two or three batzen, looking anxiously
after hiin, and when he turns the corner, she puts her apron
to her eyes, and, sobbing, seats herself at the spinning
wheel, to draw another half batzen out of the distaff; yet,
though in tears, she contrives always to have a smile on
her face when her youngest child awakes.
Had the authorities witnessed all this, they would have
known how highly the training classes were appreciated by
the class of men for whom they were chiefly designed, and
who consecrated them with the tears of their wives and
their starving children. But they thought not of such
trifles, and, unfortunately, the training classes themselves
were poisoned ly the torches of dissension that flamed
round and round.
The Fellenbergers had established one set and the Edu
cational Board another; between whom a constant war
was waged that diminished the usefulness of both. Looking
more to show than substance, they neglected utility for
mere effect ; the examination of the pupils was downright
clap-trap, the subjects had been all taught imperfectly;
most of them were much in advance of the requirements
in country schools. What the schoolmasters had learned
being of no practical benefit to them, they could in no way
turn it to account. When they returned home to their
families, they had only to report a needless waste of time,
energy, and labour: many, on giving disheartening replies to
their wives, were welcomed by some such remark as, " Oh,
how much better it would have been for all of us had you
remained at home 1"
The members of the Educational Board must have been
either angels or logs of wood not to have been irritated by
the outcry we raised against them. The very nature of
things must have made them ill-disposed towards us. We,
on our sides, fancied that by dint of big words and sharp
thrusts with the pen we could succeed in proving ourselves
victims of all kinds of ill usage, and make out a strong case
with the Grand Council: reports were drawn up and
 OP A SCHOOLMASTER. 355

speeches made in public till we thought none of the state

councillors could be otherwise than wholly on our side.
As for the people, they looked on the squabble very coolly :
they showed no signs of regret when they beheld each of
our hopes rubbed out by a wet finger, and burden after
burden laid upon our shoulders. The Board acted all
along on the principle, that, as a class, the schoolmasters
were below par, and that only those who in their opinion
rose above the common level merited any kind of relief.
Our salaries had been in no way increased by the new
educational movement. The money voted to the Board,
though really intended as a sort of donation for us, was
applied to special purposes. Without any legal obligation
being imposed on the communes to indemnify us, we were
burdened with many heavy obligations ; a law was spoken
of as on the point of being promulgated, requiring eleven
branches of education to be taught in the primary schools:
these were divided into two categories. First, Christian
religion, language, arithmetic, writing, singing. Second,
lineal drawing, history, geography, natural history, natural
philosophy, book-keeping, social constitution of the com
monwealth.
As no one possessing a strong hand or a sensitive heart
stood up in our behalf, all hope abandoned us ; burden
after burden made their appearance ; profound sorrow
overwhelmed many a family, and an atmosphere of gloom
shrouded many a schoolmaster's household. The only
gleam of sunshine to cheer us was the fancy that at least
the worst had arrived. In this belief, sinking into our
ordinary apathy, we applied ourselves to our handicrafts,
weaving, shoemaking, flaxdressing, or whatever it might
be, to make up for the time lost in making speeches.
Then the terrible intelligence reached our ears, that all the
primary teachers were to be subjected to a rigid exa
mination.
The Educational Board, by an inspiration of its own,
had inflicted this trial upon us. No doubt, however, it
was a measure not without advantage to ourselves, operating
much in the same way as an emetic upon an overloaded
stomach. It was a sensible operation in another respect:
356 JOYS AND SORROWS

it completely justified the Board for not having done more

for us. There was a great deal less outcry about ill usage
after the examination than there had been before: many
an unfortunate wight, who had ridden the high horse,
was completely extinguished, and had to seek refuge in
abashed silence. By it the Board obtained a thorough
acquaintance with the educational capacity throughout the
country ; and, supposing it to have been conducted in a
fair and unbiassed manner, the tables showing the result
being perspicuously and truthfully arranged, might reason
ably have been expected to be productive of much prac
tical advantage.
When the news arrived, that the schoolmasters were to
undergo the indignity in question, potz tausend ! what a
rumpus arose amongst the orators ! Every mannikin
amongst us whose tongue could wag a little freely was up
and doing : they talked as if they were so many Jupiters
launching thunderbolts upon the devoted heads of the
members of the Educational Board. The examination was
enforced, nevertheless, and passed off, in spite of the talk,
very quietly. The examiners were a gentlemanly kind of
men, who evidently had no particular wish to decapitate
any of us : they were also extremely well informed, and
evidently had mixed a good deal with the world. They
did not require to ask many questions to find out what a
man was made of; I fancy even, they sometimes came to
a conclusion on seeing him walk forward to the table, and
at once made a mark about him in their almanack. Discreet
they were also, for not one of the persons examined could
find out what opinion they had arrived at regarding his
qualifications. Upon the whole we were pretty well satis
fied with them and with ourselves ; we did, however, feel
somewhat angry, and found considerable fault with our
training teachers, who had not in every respect taught us
to give answers that exactly fitted the questions of the
examiners, and we could not exactly make out whether
they had neglected to do so from malice or stupidity.
Very few of the schoolmasters of the neighbourhood
had offered to submit to being examined in the subjects
composing the Becond category. The Board had offered
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 357

to increase the salary of every teacher who answered the

questions on any one of these subjects satisfactorily, to the
amount of ten thalers per annum. I therefore expected a
handsome increase of income, because some of these
branches of knowledge had at least been mentioned by the
teacher of the Normal School. One thing only caused me
uneasiness. I thought that if the commune had to pay me
for things I did not teach, they would grumble terribly
about it, and say, with some degree of reason, that it was
not customary in well regulated nations to be compelled to
pay for things they did not get. To obviate this objection,
I set to work in the school, putting both myself and the
children into a state of perspiration in an endeavour to
impart to them what I knew about Geography, History,
and Natural Philosophy.
One day, whilst I was busily engaged in groping about
amongst these subjects, the minister entered the school
room. He sat down quietly and listened to what I was
saying, without himself uttering a word or making any
kind of remark. When school was over, he addressed me
somewhat crossly, but in a mannerly sort of a way.
" Schoolmaster," said he, " what in the name of wonder
are you about, talking of this thing and that without order
or method ? What can the children make of such desul
tory discourse ? The heritors have been complaining to
me about it; they say you are leading the children straight
way to Satan, or at least to anti-Christ, and that your pro
ceedings in school have arrived at a height of absurdity too
monstrous for belief."
I briefly replied to the remarks of his reverence, that I
had been giving the children some information relative to
the subjects enjoined in the edict of the examiners, and
that unless they thought it was desirable the children
should be taught theso things, surely they would not
require the schoolmasters to know them, and pay him for
teaching them ; moreover the florins were an object to me;
a single florin was of more importance to me than a
hundred to him; I was anxious to earn them honestly; and
I trusted his reverence would not grudge me a slight addi
tion to my stipend. I did not express this last sentiment
very broadly, but left it to be pretty clearly implied.
35S JOYS AND SORROWS

The minister gazed at me very earnestly for a few

minutes, and at last burst out into a fit of laughter. " No,
no, schoolmaster," said he ; " I grudge you nothing, not
even your industrious helpmate and promising young
family ; but, as regards the florins, it strikes me you are
adopting a singular way to earn them. I wish you a
hundred times more money than you will ever get, but
must caution you against perpetrating gross blunders.
The Board of Education is, of course, the best judge of
everything connected with that department of affairs ; but
though they are to examine you in certain subjects, they
do not require the children under your care to be proficient
in them. Besides, human beings cannot be acquainted
with everything. The members of the Board do not
understand the state of the schools in relation to the
prejudices of the peasantry. They know very well the
actual state of the schools ; but they do not know all the
causes that conspire to keep them in that state. On the
other hand, you know the state of your own school ; and
you may recollect how dissatisfied you were when I sug
gested the propriety of your teaching the younger children
to write and reckon as well as read. Now, you are not
only compelled to do all the things I recommended to you,
but, of your own accord, you introduce half a dozen extra
subjects. You told me you could not find time to teach
the children to read; how, then, are you to find leisure to
keep order, attend to the ordinary classes, and teach all
these new branches ? Besides, ought you not to keep the
prejudices of the heritors in view ? You have them every
day before your eyes, and must know that their notions
about education are not to be slighted altogether. In
reading the Bible Histories with the children, you may
explain to them a thousand things regarding Nature
without appearing to inculcate a new science ; and many
things, too, that it would be useful for them to know.
Instead of this, you go out of your way, and teach them
directly the elements of Natural Philosophy and Natural
History, as distinct branches of knowledge. The parents
fancy these things to be the new religion so much gossiped
about, and that you now are teaching rationalism instead
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 359

of the Gospel of Christ. In proof of this, they inform me

that you have taken to demonstrating the solar system, and
to show that the sun stands still, and the earth goes round
it, whilst the farmers still adhere to the belief that the
Psalms and the Book of Joshua inculcate the reverse.
Hence they are making a fearful outcry about your
infidelity, and the danger the children incur from your
teaching."
" But, minister," said I, " is it not right to tell the truth
to the people, and enlighten them as to their errors ?"
" Yes ; but you must also explain to them at the same
time the source and signification of these divergencies,
which, I fear, you have neither the knowledge nor the
sense to do. Besides, is it fitting that we should tell the
truth under all circumstances ? Do you tell everybody he
has a snub nose, distorted eyes, or red hair ? Do you tell
a person flatly, who conducts himself in an unseemly
manner, that he is a camel ? In like manner, though you
ought never to tell a falsehood, knowing it to be such, it
may not be always advisable to tell the truth. What I
have to do now is to call your attention to the fact, that the
people have a sort of religion of their own, to which they
have joined certain inseparable appendages, and they have
brought themselves to the belief that their religion consists
in the latter. Thus, for example, the Bible is the basis of
their faith. The Bible tells them, ' the race is not to the
swift,' consequently, they adopt, as an article of faith, that
nothing done hurriedly prospers ; and if you touch one of
these appendages, you are at once accused of heterodoxy.
The Scriptures tell us that the Jews had joined many ap
pendages to the law as expounded by Moses ; yet Jesus,
in his intercourse with them, let these excrescences alone,
well knowing they would fall away of themselves as soon
as the meaning of his words was thoroughly understood.
So, when a people or nation is firmly embued with a
rational faith, you may lop off the appendages without
danger, but you must not commence with the taking away,
otherwise the whole fabric will totter and fall to the ground.
Fortunately, our people appreciate the truths of the Gospel ;
they may have mixed up certain errors concerning the sun
36O JOYS AND SORROWS

and the earth with these truths, because they are unable to
draw a line between what is given as doctrine, and what is
introduced merely as illustration. Still, when a person
of no authority, like yourself, in attempting to explain
these phenomena, runs counter to their preconceived
notions, he may not unlikely be regarded as a heathen, or
an atheist.
" The peasantry," he continued, "accept, as an article
of faith, that God holds the lightning in His hand in the
same way that a man does a stone, and hurls it upon any
one who has denied or blasphemed. This is so far correct
enough. The lightning is in God's hand, that is, it is
under Divine control, and Hashes where the Omnipotent
wills, like a grain of sand lifted by the wind from the sea
shore ; but the expression, that God holds the lightning in
His hand, is a mere figure of speech. Knowing this, a
schoolmaster comfortably seated at a funeral feast, once, on
hearing some one say that some villanous governor had
been struck down by the hand of God, who had launched
a thunderbolt at his head, thought this remark a favourable
opportunity for making a display of his learning. Leaning
back in his chair, he placed his hand on the table, with the
fork straight up in it like a sceptre, and said, ' God strikes
no one down with flashes of lightning ; the electric fluid
issues from the clouds, and comes not from heaven.' He
next proceeded to demonstrate the theory of lightning,
how it arises from the contact of two clouds, and is darted
along in whatever direction the wind chances to force it.
As he proceeded in his illustration, the people moved away
from him, and when he had finished, hurried out, in fear
and trembling, lest the Deity, in His wrath, should smite
the house in which such fool-hardy words had been uttered.
The schoolmaster, on finding himself so unexpectedly left
alone, began to reflect that he himself had been the cause ;
he did not, however, think he was to blame, but railed
against the stupidity of the people. He did not compre
hend the pious faith of the peasants, who ascribe all things
to the unerring wisdom of the Creator. Probably, as the
learned gradually discovered that the operations of the
elements were not under the immediate control of the
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 361

Deity, they, too, became confused and unbelieving ; but

pious faith soon found its way out of the difficulty. It
readily admitted that clouds, coming into contact, gave rise
to lightning, and that the wind guided it; but it maintained
that God is nevertheless the ruler of the clouds and the
winds ; that the former discharge themselves, and the
latter blow according to His will ; that, after all, He does
direct the lightning just as much as if He actually wielded
it with His hand. But the schoolmaster had not raised
himself so high in the scale of intelligence as pious belief
had raised his hearers. Their instinctive wisdom im
measurably surpassed his elementary lore ; and as with
him, so it will fare with every one who, without authority,
attempts to explain Nature and her wonders to the un
tutored peasant."
" Still," remarked I, " we may teach natural philosophy
in connection with the inspired writings ?"
" Yes, schoolmaster, you may," he rejoined ; " but you
must be master of both subjects, to handle them properly
together. You must have brought a pious mind to bear
on the study of each, else you will fail in your attempt to
combine the two. The generality of schoolmasters have
not sufficient knowledge to discourse on such matters with
advantage to their audience. They have heard something
of nature, and know something of God ; but not enough
of either to unite them consistently ; although they adopt
the hour plan, they emit the detached fragments disjointly,
just as they themselves have swallowed them."
I did not contradict his reverence; but, after he was gone,
a number of things came into my mind which I wished I
had mentioned to him.
Some of the farmers afterwards came themselves to ex
postulate with me about my proceedings. They declared
I was wiling the children away from the straight path ; that
they did not believe I had ever read my Bible, or I would
not advance the doctrines I did. They used much the
same arguments, in speaking of Joshua and the sun, that
wiseacres of larger pretensions and equally narrow minds
use in speaking of Noah and the Deluge. How could this,
that, and the other happen, they asked me triumphantly,
862 JOYS AND SORROWS

if the earth moved round the sun ? Those who taught

such absurdity, they said, must have bees in their bonnets;
for if the earth did whirl about, as I told the children,
would we not all be standing with our heads downwards,
and would not all the wells be emptied out during the
night, whereas were they not always full both morning,
noon, and eve?
Not being possessed of wit enough to answer these
questions satisfactorily, I treated the questioners with con
tempt, and thought to myselfO ye fools ! But I disconti
nued my lectures on the solar system, merely venturing to
speak of such subjects in the summer school, and then more
for my own amusement than the edification of the chil
dren.
Meanwhile the estimated value of all the schoolmasters
in the canton had been published. This had much the
same effect upon the corporation of pedagogues that a fit
of apoplexy has upon the human frame: it acted like a hoar
frost passing over thousands of beautiful blossoms, or a tub
of cold water thrown on glowing fire. It convulsed their
souls like living flesh under the application of hot iron ; it
tore the coverlet from the surface of an abyss that had
hitherto been hidden by a covering of flowers. A multi
tude of us had been declared unworthy of even the mini
mum salary of sixty thalers per annum, and another multi
tude had been branded as incapable of further improve
ment.
The dire announcement dug deeper than cold steel into
the heart of many a father and mother, who seeing their five
or six hungry children around them in rags, now despaired
of being able to pay off the daily accumulating debts. The
examination proved a boundless humiliation to the entire
profession. It was not on the whole unjust, but harsh,
because designed as a mirror to show us our own defects
and bring us to reason. The Board could not have adopted a
better means of justifying itself against the attacks that had
been made regarding its injustice to ourselves: it fastened
up our mouths as effectually as if they had been shut by a
padlock a hundred pounds in weight ; but the application of
the result to our salaries was cruel in the extreme, whilst it
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 363

necessarily humbled us in the estimation of our respective

communities.
The morning I received the news that placed me amongst
the meanest of my class, I felt ill and dejected. The night
to me had been an interval of sleeplessness and harassing
dreams. Appetite for breakfast I had none. Madely,
observing the depth of my distress, advised me to take a turn
out of doors somewhere to try and forget what had passed,
adding that I might go and call upon Wehrdi, who might
possibly be able to give me some consolation or advice.
She could not have proposed anything more in consonance
with my gloomy thoughts: it almost seemed as if she had
read my heart. I would have proposed the same thing
myself, but I did not like the idea of leaving her at homo
alone, knowing her wretchedness to be as great as my own.
But she spoke cheerfully, saying she would not be lonely ;
besides she had many things to think over, and with God's
help she could do that best when by herself. Therefore,
without any further hesitation, 1 left the house, and bent my
steps wearily towards the forest.

CHAPTER XXXIX.

Thb morning was bright and warm ; the air rang with the
merry strains peculiar to the peasantry of the Alps, yodeln
they call it, and the reapers in the fields were busily plying
the sickle. With a burdened mind and downcast head, I
slunk through the happy crowds, feeling as if the whole
world had awoke up cheerful for the very purpose of scoffing
and mocking me.
I called to mind a period when, on walking through similar
fields and listening to like sounds, I commiserated the hard
working labourers fancying my own burdens much lighter
and easier than theirs. Then, elated and arrogant, I
dreamt of nothing but sunshine, roast meat and savoury
cakes. I shuddered as I reflected on the very different state of
things the course of time had turned up. Now, bowed
down and broken-spirited, as if old age had fallen prema
turely upon me, I found myself sunk up to the eyes in a
3G1: JOYS AND SORROWS

slough of wretchedness, without a prospect of ever being

able to emerge from the ever thickening gloom that seemed
darkening to the very night of the grave. The mirth and
glee that prevailed everywhere around, grating harshly on
my heart, filled me with gall and bitterness.
Feverish and thirsty, I arrived at Wehrdi's house. Its
owner stood under a verdant young tree filled with magni
ficent apples, the branches of which he had carefully tied
with hay bands and propped up, the better to support the
luxuriant crop of fruit. Dressed in his white trowsers and
white shirt, as I approached he gazed at me curiously from
under his dark eyelashes. My heart was so full, that, before
he had time to finish his work and express his surprise at
seeing me, I had told him what had befallen me, and also
that I was resolved to go somewhere else and try to find a
better school and a more indulgent people.
" What do you suppose the age of this apple tree to
be ? " inquired Wehrdi, when I had finished my narrative.
I guessed it might be fifteen years old.
" No, schoolmaster," replied he, " it is only twelve."
" Then," said I, " it has grown splendidly; the soil must
be very suitable for fruit-trees."
" Probably, but in spring I mean to transplant it, for all
that," rejoined he.
" Why so ?" inquired I, with an air of surprise; "it
grows beautifully where it is. If I had so valuable a tree, I
should take good care to let it alone; it yields you a
bountiful crop now, whereas, if you transplant it, you must
lop off some of the branches, and a portion of the root ;
the tree may die, and you will lose your labour and your
apples ; even if it lives, it will be a long time before it
gets to rights again ; under the most favourable circum
stances, five or six years must pass before it will bear as
much fruit as it does now. There is, likewise, something
else to be considered : another tree might not flourish
nearly so well on the same spot as this one does ; the soil
may not take to the roots so kindly, or the roots may not
suit the soil."
" Oh indeed, schoolmaster; then you understand those
sort of things 1" exclaimed Wehrdi, "why, I had really
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 365
not given you credit for being able to talk so sensibly on
such a sylvan subject."
" Just so," I muttered bitterly ; " you still continue to
think a schoolmaster n.ust, of necessity, be an idiot; but
now, alas ! I know you are not alone in that respect.
People give us nothing, grudge us everything, will not give
us credit for anything, and when we do utter something
that they know to be just, they behave, from malignity, as
if they had been struck dumb with astonishment."
Wehrdi laughed like a goblin, not so much at what I
said, as at the irritable way in which I expressed myself.
When he recovered breath enough to speak, " School-
masterkin ! schoolmasterkinl" he cried, "do not, for
goodness' sake, put yourself in a passion because the people
will not believe in schoolmasters ; do not fall into hysterics
because they will not admit the good souls have heads like
barracks, or that they can explain anything, from the
building of the Tower of Babel to the foundation of the
New Jerusalem; do not become apoplectic because the
people are of opinion that schoolmasters, with all their
supposed acquirements, cannot apply them to the practical
instruction of their children, or that, with all their pre
sumed learning, they can make use of the phenomena
around them, as living, never resting, revelations of God,
or hear His voice, though day and night it is resounding
through every land. Do not be angry because the people,
not being credulous enough to believe these things, some
times weep for you, and sometimes laugh at you."
Thunderstruck at this fresh tirade upon my unfortunate
profession, I could not find a single word to say in its
defence. Therefore, by way of turning the tables, I re
marked that,, however deeply versed he might be in the
defects of schoolmasters, he did not appear to know much
about the culture of fruit trees; otherwise he would not
transplant them when in their finest growth.
" Yes," he uttered, seriously, " but do you not see how
that concerns yourself ? Have you only eyes to see my
absurdities, and not to discern your own ? When I spoke
of my apple tree, I alluded to yourself. You are the tree
and the arborist in one person. By this time you have
SG6 JOYS AND SORROWS

taken root in Gytiwyl, for you have been nearly as long in

that spot as my tree in this one ; you have become familiar
with the peculiarities of the people, and they all esteem
you more or less, whatever they may say to the contrary;
you do not annoy them, and you are much less irritable
than the' generality of yqur brethren. There is not a
farmer's wife in the parish that would not do yours a good
turn if it lay in her power. The children you have educated
love you ; the parents know they have to thank you for
many things, and there is a child in every house to in
tercede for you, when an outcry, right or wrong, has been
raised against you. Having thus taken root in the place;
having more or less influence with old and young ; pulling
together with the minister, what is to hinder you, without
any flourish of trumpets, making something of the Gyti-
wylers ? The ground of the commune is tough ; it requires,
therefore, hard labour to work it. So, the people also are
tough, and it requires much ploughing, digging, and rough
ing, to make them arable ; still, there is scarcely any kind
of soil that may not be rendered fertile, and the harder
the labour, the more beautiful the crops. So, there is no
people that, with proper management, are not susceptible
of being softened and ameliorated. In your school, you
know all the children ; they know you, and many a good
thread have you there, ready at hand to begin your spin
ning. Now, those that ought to be the people's gardeners,
not comprehending this advantage of their position, do
not avail themselves of it. Instead of exercising perse
vering labour in their vineyards, they rush about the
country as wasps do in a pear-tree. Every now and then
a schoolmaster uproots himself, lops off his luxuriant
branches, tears to pieces all the ties that connect him with
the soil, destroys the labour of years, and hurries off to
new ground. Can he tell how long it will take him to
take root there, and acquire a firm standing ? Why do
they run about in this fashion ? A few thalers a-year
more salary, a weaving shed, a larger garden, one room
more ; or, it may be, that their own peevishness and
fickleness drove them to those self-imposed transplantings.
Of this kind of rashness, the ministers also are not entirely
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 367

free ; they cannot grasp, any more than the schoolmasters,

the great truth, that transplanting old trees is very dan
gerous, though, perhaps, salutary in some few instances;
on the contrary, it almost always retards the production
of good fruit. You yourself may readily conceive how
an orchard would look, were the trees transplanted every
ten years: you know very well, that, in such a case, there
would not he a single stem with wide-spread, far-extending
branches, holdly defying the winds and tempests. In such
an orchard, there would he none but trees scarcely able to
support their mutilated trunks and prevent their roots
from rotting away ; their fruit scanty, their appearance
wretched, every winter would menace them with death ;
nor would they derive vigorous gladdening juices from
the strange soil. This roaming about is epidemic at times
amongst teachers. Rarely we find amongst them strong,
stately stems, old but beautiful, tended, nursed, and re
spectedand why ? Because it is rare to find one who
has not voluntarily uprooted himself over and over again,
and thus wasted away his young and vigorous blood,
tearing himself out of place after place, till at last ex
hausted, the old lazy blood refuses to assimilate genuine
life, and the old tottering limbs cannot any longer hold
themselves together. Hence arises a never-ceasing ailing
and dying ; the soil accuses the tree, and the tree retorts
upon the soil, finally dropping down dead, unwept and
unmissed, for its place has long been coveted by a young
sapling, destined to run a similar course. So with the
schoolmaster: he does not get along smoothly ; the people
are, of course, in his estimation, altogether to blame; they
are incorrigible, self-willed, and headstrong. True, the
peasants and farmers of the neighbourhood, owing to their
sheer stupidity, would enrage an angel from paradise ; but
so, also, would the schoolmasters, because they are not
skilful enough to avail themselves of the power they possess
to correct the very evite of which they themselves com
plain. I myself am often irritated by the absurdities of
the people; but I can do nothing more than knock one or
two of them down occasionally. The schoolmasters, on
the other hand, if they chose, could overcome them much
368 JOYS AND SORROWS

more easily, and much more effectually ; but they are too
selfish, running about to find schoolhouses more convenient
for their wives, with the well a yard or two nearer, or
something or other of that sort ; and then, when they get
installed in the new place, the new teacher will not begin
where the old one left off; being jealous of each other,
neither will recognize the other's crotchets, each thinking
himself the wisest of the two. What happens ? The
newly-appointed schoolmaster will not continue his pre
decessor's work, perhaps wantonly undoes all the good he
has done, seeking only his own glory, not considering that
real fame consists in being an ever faithful servant of the
Great Master, who Himself sought no other glory save
that of the Father. Meanwhile, the schoolchildren are
injured and disgusted by these unseemly jealousies. No,
schoolmaster," continued Wehrdi, " I would not recommend
you to run away from Gytiwyl, like a cur scared by the
sound of a cracked hurdy gurdy ; should you do so, I
shall think of you no more. Take my parable to heart:
my apple tree is very admonitory, as many other things
are that God has placed before us, had we only eyes to
see their silent meaning."
On concluding these remarks, he led me to a shady
seat behind his house, where he questioned me very closely,
both as to the state of my mind, and the state of my affairs.
He learnt from me, that my affection for my suffering
family kept me very low-spirited ; that I had a great
regard for my little wife, and that she had a great deal to
undergo on account of our mutual wretchedness ; that I
was rarely able to buy her a bottle of wine, however much
she required it, and that the state of our finances did not
even admit of the needful supply of stockings ; that I was
deeply in debt, and particularly as regards the organ, which
I had nearly paid the value of in interest, to gain time ;
that the new work I had to do in school prevented me
doing much at home ; that my children were growing up ;
that my eldest boy was a genius, but no longer obedient,
we could not make out why; my wife thought it was owing
to my making him useful in the school, and being master
there, he fancied it gave him the right to be master at
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 869

home; both of us, nevertheless, agreed it was high time

to have him taught something, but we had not the means.
After relating, in reply to Wehrdi's interrogations, a
number of disheartening things similar to these, I went on
to say that I fully comprehended the force of his parable
relative to transplanting trees; still I could be no worse
anywhere than I was at Gytiwyl, for not a soul in the
place had shown any kind of good feeling towards me,
with the exception of himself and the minister.
" But," enquired he, " is the favour of the minister not
something? And if the Gytiwylers do not show you
much good will, they exhibit no ill will towards you, and
you cannot expect them to treat you better than they do
other people, They have never yet been known to do a l
kindness to anybody. If you were to tell them you were
going to leave, not one of them would ask you to stay ; on
the contrary, they would simply observe, " Very well, yon
may go if you like ; there are plenty of schoolmasters in
the market, and who knows but we may get one twice as
good as yourself." Here, as in other places, the school
master will not reap much profit from rashly throwing
down his bundle before the door. No doubt the people
would miss you afterwards, and say to each other, " What
a pity it is Kaiser went off, we all liked him very much, he
rarely bothered any of us, and he was not altogether to
blame as regards upsetting the school; and, though it is
with schoolmasters as with cows, there are plenty of them
scattered about, still one is not exactly like the other, and
some of them are more plague than profit. Many a child
would weep, and many others, with deep instinct and
secret anger, would blame you for first gaining their affec
tion, and then wantonly going away, leaving them like a
silly husbandman, who, after ploughing the field, runs of
without sowing or waiting for the crop."
" Your reasoning maybe just, Wehrdi," said I; "but
unless I can obtain a school with a larger salary and meet
with a more liberal people, what am I to do ? Things
cannot remain as they are : my wife and family are going
to ruin; no one takes the slightest interest in us; they
all appear as if they rather delighted in our misery. How
B B
370 JOY 3 AND SORROWS

ever ape we to make all ends meet now that we are on the
eve of having five children to support ? I have laid my
accounts before you, and you may easily see it is utterly
impossible to square them. My school duties being vastly
increased, I have no time for extra work: it takes me a
long time to finish a piece of cloth, having only a vacant
half-night now and then to sit at my loom. Gladly would
1 do better things in school ; willingly would I think and
meditate over what is best to be done : I should like much
to compose little stories calculated to acquaint the younger
children with the love of God and the workings of His
all-wise Providence, so to make the Divine dispensations
more evident and impressive ; but alas ! when I set myself
down to the pleasing task, a horrid empty milk-jug stares
me gauntly in the face : then I have got to consider what
means there may be to get it filled ; I see through the
thin trowsers the blue legs of my children, and the recol
lection that the shopkeeper is still waiting for the money
for them comes into my mind. "When my wife is boiling
the flour for our habitual porridge, her soft sighs reach my
ear through the closed doorway, and I often detect her
sweeping her apron across her eyes. With such things
constantly occupying my mind, how is it possible for me to
attend to the duties of the school or devote my energies to
the improvement of the children entrusted to my care ?
You cannot imagine, Wehrdi, how a father feels when he
beholds his healthy young family sitting at table eating
like young wolves : he grudges them nothing, but it
lacerates his heart to think he cannot pay for the things
they are devouring. You would scarcely credit me were I
to tell you my sensations when I notice them all crowding
lovingly round their mother and gazing with wistful eyes at
the loaf she holds in her hands : she can only venture to
give a thin slice to each, and I have to observe her
struggles with the desire to increase the thickness of the
allotted portions, how she has to constrain herself, and
tries, with words of kindness, to compensate for the in
sufficiency of the bread; how the children very soon
devour the morsels, and then again look wistfully at their
mother; how she, with a smiling face but bleeding heart,
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 371

sings them a cheerful song: sometimes under such circum

stances I cannot help leaving the room to hide myself in
some secret corner, where I can weep unobserved. No
one wishes to comprehend our position ; when we allude
to it, they talk of carnal desires, the duty of resignation,
and sometimes seem to have resin in their throats or some
thing or other that prevents them setting the words a going.
Often do I wish I had a chance of explaining all our dis
tress to the school authorities, of showing them to what a
depth of wretchedness the instructor of the young is sunk,
of picturing to them the intense misery that is hidden
behind what some of them consider to be the schoolmaster's
easy life, of convincing them that the gaiety that some of
the silly bachelors amongst us display in their youth is
fearfully atoned for in manhood by the want of even the
comforts enjoyed by the meanest peasant and farm labourer.
Were these things made manifest to them, they would at
least know that it was out of our power to do justice to
their children. By scanty and bad food the physical
strength is weakened; by sorrow and care the mental
energies are vitiated. Yet it might be that even if these
things were known to the leading personages of the com
mune they would refuse to do anything towards removing
the evils that diminish our usefulness to themselves : our
stipends ought not therefore to be left to the mercy of the
heritors, who often have no desire for the education of
their children. Injustice and fairness the schoolmasters
ought not to be made martyrs of by the state: care is
taken that all other classes of functionaries are amply pro
vided for, so that neither hunger nor thirst may impair
their usefulness or their love of country ; it is not fair to
us that professors who cannot secure the attendance of
more than two or three students should be paid at the
rate of from eight to twelve hundred thalers a year, when
we are grudged forty, and even less."
" True, Kaiser," rejoined Wehrdi," as regards yourself
and your good little wife, I do think you are hardly dealt
with, and I pity you from the bottom of my heart ; but as
for the whole brotherhood of schoolmasters, that is a
different affair. Were I the chief of the state, I would
372 JOYS AND SORROWS

not vote them a single kreutzer. Numbers of them to me

are absolutely loathsome ; some I cannot bear to see or
smell: were they to obtain ample salaries, they would, from
sheer arrogance and ignorance, become absolutely disgust
ing and a pest to society."
" Really, Wehrdi," urged I, deprecatingly, " you are too
unreasonable ; to reproach us as a body with arrogance,
appears to me to be totally undeserved. Granted that
Mime of us have been or are arrogant; but have we no
excuse ? Suppose that we desired something, and having
no money to buy it, had to put up with some substitute
that costs nothing; well, what costs less than arrogance ?
Give us the means, and, in all probability, we will lay it
out on something more substantial. Most people are more
or less arrogant ; the richer one is, the less his arrogance
is noticed; the poorer one is, the more prominent his
assumption becomes ; therefore the more these poor school
masters are enriched, the less will their arrogance give
-offence. It is universally admitted, that if you want a
good government, you must pay it well : it may be said
that it would not improve the statesmen we have now, if
we gave them twelve, instead of eight hundred thalers a
year; true, but the inducement held out would encourage
young men of talent to prepare themselves for these offices
as they become vacant. This principle is acted upon as
regards our own grand educational appointments; why
-then should a different sort of practice prevail as regards
schoolmasters ? Why should they all be forced to become
first-rate before they are better paid? Is it likely that
any youth of superior attainments would condescend to
become a schoolmaster so long as the dog's labour and the
dog's pay continues ? Or will those still young and
vigorous who are now schoolmasters have the means of
self-improvement? Are all to suffer because a few are
puffed up, quarrelsome, sleepy in nature, or because two
or three labour under a thirsty liver ? Ought the entire
class, on their account, to be spoken ill of, and kept
eternally in the mire ? Our merciful God, for the sake of
five, would have spared Sodom ; but men, by reason of a
-hundred vile, would allow a thousand just to go to ruin."
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 37?

" Hulloa Kaiser, you are getting quite eloquent l"

exclaimed Wehrdi, laughing.
'' You laugh, Wehrdi," said I, somewhat bitterly ; " but
I doubt whether there is much fun in poverty and starva
tion, particularly when there is an ailing wife and five
helpless children concerned ; had I thought you capable of
scoffing at distress, I would not have knocked at your
door for consolation in my affliction."
" You mistake me, Kaiser," he observed somewhat more
gravely; ''you were not talking of yourself when I laughed,
but were apologising in somewhat warm terms for the
shortcomings of your professional brethren. Your per
sonal distresses grieve me sorely, and I sincerely laments
the unfortunate position of your wife and family ; you have
pleaded for your class so pathetically that my understand
ing has almost been made captive, and I am half-inclined
to wish that schoolmasters' salaries could be raised, not so
much on their own account as on that of their wives and
hundreds and thousands of children, who with hungry
eyes look with envy on every peasant boy that has his-
pocket full of new bread. I would almost venture to say-
if the men high in office heard you relate your miseries,
listened to the reckoning up of your out-goings and in
comings, and the effect of your sorrows on your activity,
they would go as far as I have done, and admit that you?
should have the means of acquiring fresh strength before
you are burdened with fresh labour, nay, even that the
entire class should be elevated before the individuals of
whom it is composed are required to elevate themselves.
Were I in your place I would wait upon the members of
the Educational Board, one after the other, and shout into-
their ears all you have told me."
" Ah, Wehrdi, you will insist upon turning everything-
into a joke. How could I obtain admittance to such
mighty personages ? And if I did, would they listen to
me, a schoolmaster whom they have branded as unworthy
sixty thalers a year ? Granting they would give me a
hearing, I would probably be unable to utter a syllable
more than to ask help for God's sake, and little attention
would be paid to such an appeal at Berne. They do very
374 JOYS AND SORROWS

little there for God's sake, or for anything else beyond

their own gratification."
" In that case," said Wehrdi, "your best plan would be
to write down a plain statement of your grievances,
describing the actual state of your household and your
domestic wretchedness, just as you have now pictured them
to me. If you make a readable unvarnished statement of
this kind, I shall find the means to lay it before the parties
concerned. Do not write irritably or boastfully ; express
yourself contritely ; explain clearly that, considering the
way schoolmasters have been treated hitherto, they could
not well be aught else than the wretched creatures they
are ; and that, unless better pay is afforded, they have no
means of improvement. You might also throw in a little
penance, and confess that you have all behaved more or
less blamably, but under misguidance and in ignorance.
Write all this as touchingly and as truthfully as you possi
bly can, so that women as well as men may be induced to
read it, and take compassion on yourself and brethren :
then the members of the Board will have to look into your
case, whether they will or not."
This notion of Wehrdi' s struck me as worthy of attention.
The idea of writing down the difficulties the poor school
masters laboured under, and making them known far and
wide, had often been a subject of my dreams. There were,
however, many obstacles in the way, and a number of them
welled up in my breast as soon as Wehrdi had finished
speaking. Moreover, I had risen early, after passing a
restless night, had not been able to eat a morsel of food,
had walked a long way in the hot morning sun, and vexa
tion, tinctured with sorrow, was weighing down my soul.
Is it to be wondered at, therefore, that I was weak in body
and dejected in mind ? Timid, vacillating, and hopeless, I
did not think I had the courage to accomplish such a task,
and hesitated to agree to the proposal. But very soon the
complexion of my mental ruminations underwent a chauge.
Wehrdi, calling to mind he had a guest who might be
both hungry and thirsty, brought a bottle of wine, with
some bread and cheese ; then diligently performed his
*-' as host. After I had done justice to the viands set
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 375

before me, the world did not appear to me quite so black

as it had been ; a blush of roseate hue spread itself over
my thoughts ; writing out a memorial as suggested by
-Wehrdi, began to appear to me less difficult; and I felt an
itching at my finger ends to begin the work at once. I
therefore said I would do what he proposed, and that I
thought I might manage as regards mollifying the hearts of
the Board, for in the matter of composition I feared no
man ; in fact, the peasants often wondered how I contrived
to write a letter or receipt without first sketching out the
subject on a separate piece of paper. The only question
was, whether I should use common or stamped paper ; that
I had enough money to buy stamped paper, I could not
very well say, as 1 feared a four batzen sheet would not
contain the whole of my statement.
Wehrdi smiled dryly, advised me to take the commonest
paper I could get hold of; that would do very well for the
purpose. The document, he said, ought not to be a begging
letter, whining for a crust of bread, but the whole unvar
nished story of a schoolmaster and his family ; how they
are without the necessaries of life ; how this poverty
paralyses their energies, and renders them the mere slaves
of milkmen, small grocers, and rapacious creditors, whilst
it weighs heavier on the wives and children than it does on
themselves. As for himself, he admitted he had been all
along under the impression that the schoolmasters received
more pay than they deserved ; but I had placed the matter
before him in a somewhat different light, and, if I did the
same thing to the Educational Board, a beneficial effect for
all parties might be produced. If, therefore, I pourtrayed
in simple terms the schoolmasters and their families just as
they are, that would be the best means I could adopt to
obtain redress. Certainly it would create a wondrous stir,
if all at once they got an increase of salary. There were
plenty of them that even now could scarcely walk or stand
from downright folly. If these were to get more money,
they would most likely clothe themselves with yellow coats
and red breeches ; but even that would be better than
permitting their wives and families to starve.
Whilst Wehrdi spoke thus, he continued filling ray glass
376 JOYS AND SORROWS

and exciting my enthusiasm in the new project. The more

warmly I entered into the spirit of the business, the more
he urged me to describe myself and life accurately ; finally
advising me to begin at my birth, and, step by step, point
out how it was that destiny had played me so scurvy a
trick as to make me a schoolmaster. " One class of people,"
said he, " know little or nothing of the other classes ;
therefore they feel no compassion the one for the other.
On the contrary, a great degree of envy exists amongst
them through ignorance of each other's trials and sorrows.
A man only feels his own burden ; he does not know the
weight of those borne by others, nor how oppressively they
are weighed down. Who knows but that many a forlorn
maiden, with everything except a husband and children,
may envy even a schoolmaster's wife, who has nothing but
a husband and children. Moreover, people in towns think
that people in the country can live without money, just as
hares do on cabbage, which tbey think grows of itself, and
on water, for which nothing has to be paid."
" Do not fear," replied I, boldly ; " the thing will be
done to your entire satisfaction. As I have already said,
in the matter of composition, I did not know the man who
could excel me." At this remark, Wehrdi's visage again
became woefully distorted, his moustache mounting up to
his ears. Filling my glass up to the brim, he said he had
come to the conclusion, that I really was not so much of a
fool as I looked, and that he had not the slightest doubt
but I would succeed marvellously well in drawing up the
memorial. On this admission of my hitherto obstinate
friend, I felt in my best spirits, puffing myself out like a
turkey-cock. At last my tongue became heavier and
heavier, so that I could scarcely pronounce the words dis
tinctly. This sign, I knew well enough, meant that I had
better not drink any more, but make the best of my way
home.
Wehrdi, who accompanied me a little way, said he would
call that day week to see how I was getting on with the
memorial. " All right," rejoined I ; "by that time it will
be pretty well through," whereupon another grim smile
shone on his countenance ; and, on leaving, he once more
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 377

admonished me to begin, be diligent, and not to mind

whether it occupied me or week more a less.
Potz tausend ! how differently I strode along now, from
the manner I crept over the ground in the morning !
Staring everybody I met right in the face, I paced onwards
like a commissary. Before my eyes danced a number of
things I thought it would be advisable to mention in my
memorial ; but none of them came straight out into the
foreground : a vast crowd of odds and ends whirled about
me in utter confusion ; in fact, so many things of more or
less weight, that I began to doubt whether I should be
able to conclude the affair by the end of the week.
Very gracious and good humoured I was when I entered
the house. 1 affected to be very mysterious, dropping
some words about things taking a favourable turn by and
bye, hinting our misery would disappear in good time, and
so on. Madely, who had received me with a kindly smile,
seeing the state of obfuscation I was in, did not enquire
very much as to how I expected these grand results to be
brought about. I felt a little teased at her evincing no
curiosity to know my important secret, and grumbled about
her want of sympathy.
" Peter, dear, you must not get cross," said she, seating
herself beside me ; " but, really, you are chattering like a
magpie. What is the use of making a mystery of what
we should be glad to call out from the house top, if there
was anything in it ? You treat me as if I had no right to
know your secret ; but do not be angry, and tell me in
what direction we are to look for help."
I then told her a confused story about a memorial to the
wives of the Land-amman, of the President, and to some
other ladies who were to be informed as to all the particu
lars of our lives, point by point, and article by article, so
that they might judge whether we really required assist
ance from the State or not, and whether the authorities
would be justified in allowing us to perish. This document
was to be specially addressed to the ladies, because they
understood such things better than men, and had more
sensible hearts.
Madely listened to me with a very singular expression
378 JOYS AND SORROWS

of countenance, allowing me to talk straight on without the

slightest interruption. When at length I asked her opinion
on the subject, she confessed it was a kind of thing she did
not clearly understand ; but, at all events, I must be tired
and sleepy, as I had no rest the night before, and, conse
quently, had better go to bed.

CHAPTER XL.
Sweetly and soundly did I sleep that night. Dream I did
not of either one thing or another. Light and sunny -was
the room when I awoke next morning, and yet as still as if
it had been midnight. This was contrary to custom ; for
the children began to crow with the cock, and there was
usually but scant quiet after they awoke. But now the
whole of the birds had flown, and the room was empty.
Their good little mother had not grudged me the sleep which
I so blissfully enjoyed : she had put it into the children's
heads there would be no end of fun in allowing father to
oversleep himself for once ; softly like a flock of mice had
they consequently all stolen away and gone to their allotted
tasks, for my wife had trained them up to industry from
their infancy, although I thought it cruel and often remon
strated against it; but she insisted that the earlier they
were put to work, the less irksome they would find it when
they grew up ; besides there was nothing she disliked so
much as seeing them run about in idleness, and she could
not understand why other schoolmasters permitted such a
thing.
The children, though they kept very noiseless, peeped in
at the window now and then, to see whether I had awoke.
When at last they saw me leap out of bed bewildered by the
light and the silence, the whole of them burst into the room
like a storm, laughing as merrily as if they had been wit
nessing the rope-dancers. Then came their mother with the
coffee-can and enquired smilingly whether I had slept
soundly. After receiving the customary reproach for not
waking me up in time, she served the coffee all round. The
children who had been waiting a long time for their break-
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 379

-fast, now enjoyed the meal all the more, but, in the midst of
their chewing and swallowing, found opportunity to tease me
about sleeping so long.
When we had all eaten, except mother, who had to at
tend to the rest of us, the potatoes were all gone, and each
had received an extra thin slice of bread, then our young
est child cried out, " Oh mother, I am so hungry yet, I
should like to have another piece of bread." My wife, cast
ing an anxious look at the loaf, which had been greatly di
minished in size, handed the little bit she had cut for her
self to the child, saying, " There, take that, you little
glutton."
It cut me deeply to the heart to observe that my wife
had to deprive herself of her own share of the bread, and I
saw that help must be found soon ; otherwise things would
become too bad to mend. One thing annoyed me dread
fully, and filled me with terrible remorse. That was the
recollection of the way I had squandered my earnings in
my bachelor days, and the error I had committed in enter
ing into matrimony with a load of debt on my shoulders.
I felt, therefore, there was no time to lose about the
memorial, unless I could make up my mind to see my affec
tionate little wife perish by inches before my eyes. And here
I may remark, how much greater the effect of quiet resign
ation in shewing the depth of one's suffering than querulous
outcry and passionate anger. Would that all wives knew
this, and that young schoolmasters also were aware of it.
Full of resolution, I entered the schoolroom, made two
new pens, laid my paper to rights, filled my pipe, dipped one
of the pens into the ink, and commenced my memorial.
But what was I to begin with ? This I found had not
been quite decided in my mind ; and really it is surprising
the difference one feels in beginning to write under a
variety of circumstances. After drinking half a dozen
glasses of wine, I had not fancied there would be the
slightest difficulty; but now, after drinking two cups of
coffee, I could not get on at all.
The mode of address I ought to place at the beginning,
perplexed me exceedingly. Was I to say, "My ladies," or
" My lords " ? Was I to address myself to the Board, or
380 JOYS AND SORROWS

to the wives of the Board ? This, to me, was a fearfully

inexplicable puzzle. Besides, I could not recollect whether
they ought to be styled " Highly esteemed,--' " Highly
honourable," or whether they did not prefer being desig
nated as " Highly virtuous."
I sincerely regretted not having consulted Wehrdi on
these points ; but it was too late now to rectify the neglect,
so 1 left these preliminaries blank. Still remained, how
ever, the question, with what to begin the beginning, and.
after passing a great deal of time in thinking over how I
should commence, I at last resolved to write down what
ever came uppermost in my mind, seeing clearly enough
that a clean copy must be made of the whole affair.
Whflst I was hard at work thus in penning the me
morial, my wife missed me at some other kind of labour,
which, probably, the good woman thought could not be
very well left undone. After waiting some time, she came
running into the schoolroom, alarmed, thinking I might
have been taken ill ; but, seeing that 1 was all right, she
exclaimed, " Why, husband, what in the world are you
about? you know the flax must be beaten to-day."
She then approached closer, to observe what I was
doing, and, though she was no witch in the matter of
either reading or writing, she knew enough of the latter
to notice that I had put on paper something or other
about my father and mother. Then, pulling the pen out
of my hand, she said, " Now, Peter dear, do not be silly;
come along, and help me with the flax."
Shaking my head, I replied, that really the flax would
not prevent us from starving ; that something else, con
sequently, must be done, and that I did not see any better
way out of our difficulties than going on with my me
morial.
" Oh yes ! " exclaimed Madely, '' there is something a
great deal better than that, namely, to trust in God, and
go on with our usual work. We are, after all, no worse
off than our neighbours, and possess both love and peace,
for which we have great reason to be thankful."
Overpowered by the good soul's resignation, I declared,
with tears in my eyes, that, for her sake, I could not allow
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 881

things to go on as they were now, and that it cut me to

the heart to see her depriving herself of a morsel of bread,
in order that the children might not want. From early
morning till late at night, she was always on her legs,
looking the very image of starvation; a new dress she
had not had for ever so long. True, we must trust in
God, but we must also apply our shoulders to the wheel
when our cart gets into a rut. Wehrdi had recommended
me to get up the memorial, as the only thing he could
suggest to extricate ourselves from the mud. That Wehrdi
meant me well, I was convinced ; for he was always press
ing half-florins upon me, under some pretext or other:
besides, he knew a great deal more of the world than we
did, and would not advise me to do anything not likely to
prove useful. He certainly did laugh at me now and then,
but that was a way he had, and he did so in a manner
that I could not take offence at ; therefore I thought the
best thing I could do was to work night and day at my
memorial till it was finished.
" But, Peter dear," urged my wife, " what is it all
about ? It is not a petition, for you begin with your father
and mother, and their freehold house. If it is not a
petition, what then is it ? I have always heard it remarked,
that the shorter these kind of writings are, the better effect
they have ; and if you talk of your parents as well as your
self, there will be no end to the thing."
To this I replied, that Wehrdi had advised me to begin
the memorial with the beginning of my own life, and it
was, consequently, necessary to say that I had a father and
a mother : why Wehrdi had urged me to do so, I could
not tell, but, as he was to call that day week, she had
better ask him to explain the reason himself, and, until
then, she must try and have patience with me, for I was
labouring for her and the children more than for my own
comfort.
During the succeeding eight days, I continued working
very hard, and had scribbled over so much paper, that I
myself began to marvel whether the honourable members
of the Board, or their wives either, would take the trouble
to read it. A great many things regarding my childhood
382 JOYS AND SORROWS

had started into my memory, and, as Wehrdi had told me

to write such things down, I began to fear that the week
would elapse before I reached the tenth year of my age.
Wehrdi arrived on the day he promised ; and, as my wife
was out of doors looking after the beans, he glancec
through my memorial. He said he was of opinion it
would do very well ; he would take what I had writteB
home, look over it carefully, and, possibly, might be abh
to improve it a little here and there. He did not read it
all through, but asked me a number of questions aboti'
how far I had got with the details of my early life, and
what I had to write about next. He put so many question-
to me that I had not an opportunity to ask him any. When,
however, my wife came in, she amply made up my de
ficiencies in this respect.
"Really, sir," she began, on seeing Wehrdi, " I cannot
make out whether you mean my husband well, or whether
you are merely making fools of us. If the latter is your
object, I should be glad to know whether you might not
find some other kind of pastime."
" A man must be a heathen if he made a pastime of yon
and your children, at all events," replied Wehrdi.
" What do you mean, then, by making my husband
neglect his occupation, in writing things about his father
and mother ? What good purpose can it serve, I should
like to know ? he might as well write about myself."
" And so he will, schoolmistress, I hope, in good time!
but he has got to jot down two or three things about
himself first ; but still, I have no doubt what he has to
say about you, will be the best part of the whole, and
have most effect."
" But I do not want to be written about," rejoined
Madely, impatiently ; " sometimes these kind of things get
printed."
" The most likely thing in the world, as regards what
your husband is writing," said Wehrdi ; " that is to say,
if he manages the thing properly, and then the entire
canton will know what an industrious little schoolmistress
you are."
My wife blushed up to the ears on hearing this, and
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 383

protesting that it was unkind of him, not only to mock us

himself, but to make us a subject of merriment to others ;
she could not have expected such conduct from him. It
had given her great pleasure to think he was a friend of
her husband's, but now it was quite clear he was only
amusing himself at our expense.
On concluding these words, tears came into her eyes,
and Wehrdi, whilst being rebuked, stood gazing at her
like snow in sunshine. But he was not the sort of man to
be put out of countenance for any length of time.
As Madely was slowly leaving the room, he seized her
by the arm. " Stay! " he cried, " you must not run away
yet ; you know very well you ought not to condemn any
body unheard." My wife thereupon stood still, with an
indignant air and downcast eyes, to hear what the culprit
had got to say for himself.
" Now, schoolmistress," he began, " do look a little less
angrily, and open your pretty eyes ; then you will the better
understand what I have got to say." He uttered these
words so kindly and so softly, that I was not a little as
tonished; for under such circumstances he would have
laughed at me, and I could not make out why he did not
treat my wife in the same way. As it was, she looked up
in her usual way, and Wehrdi declared to her that no one
had ever so grievously wronged him as she was doing that
moment. Rather than make game of such a person as
she was, he would prefer to make another voyage to
Batavia in search of amusement ; he sometimes did laugh
at me, even though he took an interest in my welfare, but
did she not herself at times smile at me ? In all serious
ness, he wished to help us along a bit, if he could do so
usefully ; money he certainly could give us, but that we
might not like, besides, all he could spare would not suffice
to make us permanently comfortable. He was alone in
the world ; had no relations he cared for, or who cared
for him ; the people round about shunned him as if he
were a leper ; he therefore did not need to take an interest
in the welfare of others ; still, the Almighty might one
day ask, What good have you done in your generation ?
We were the only people in the commune who had sufficient
384 JOYS AND SORROWS

confidence in him to ask his advice ; why, then, should he

amuse himself with our misfortunes ? His wish was, to
put us in the way of making ourselves the architects of
our own elevation. If a family desired to stand firm, they
must themselves take hold of the ground with strong roots ;
little props would only he of temporary service ; something
of more durable benefit was needed. I had come to him
complaining of the authorities, and protesting that, if they
knew the condition the schoolmasters were in, they would
do something towards mitigating their sorrows. It occurred
to him that I might be light in this view ; and therefore he
had advised me to make a truthful statement of my own
position, and that of my professional brethren. Since
then, he had seen the minister, and both arrived at the
conclusion, the people of Berne had come to a dead lock,
owing to the squabbles that had arisen amongst the leaders.
The schoolmasters have rendered their position worse by
joining in the fray ; they have gone into battle, and come
out sorely vanquished, and are now suffering from their
defeat.
" The minister and I, after talking the matter over, are
satisfied the best way to bring about a reconciliation is to
lay before the people and the authorities a plain statement
of the difficulties that beset a schoolmaster in the exercise
of his duties under existing circumstances. We have
thought that your own story, if told in plain and simple
terms, would answer the purpose admirably : if it had the
desired effect, not only would it benefit yourselves, but
numerous other poor families labouring under the same
disabilities.
" I am sure, schoolmistress, if you thought your being
talked about, written about, and even printed about, would
drive away sorrow from other households, you would
submit to this slight inconvenience. Consider that out of
a thousand schoolmasters' wives, at least five hundred of
them are undergoing greater sufferings than yourself, and
that their children have to endure more than your own :
would it not then be a gratification to you, if, by submitting
to a little publicity yourself, you could drive misery from
their doors, the tears from their eyes, and the aching from
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 385

their hearts ? It may be in your power to procure bread,

clothes, a cheerful mind, joyful grateful feelings to a
thousand children, securing for them a better education
and a happier childhood. You may be the means of
enabling many a daughter-in-law to make a mother-in-law
comfortable without depriving herself of the necessaries of
life. And what is the sacrifice you' are required to make ?
Nothing more than laying aside for a time your prejudices
and timidity. You are not required to lay down your life
for the good of your fellow-creatures. You may dislike
being talked about by all sorts of people, even though they
have only to speak of your good qualities; but it is, after
all, no great hardship. It is just like the first kiss the lover
snatches from his sweetheart ; she struggles violently, yet
it is but the precursor of a thousand that are to be given
voluntarily, and a pledge for her own longed-for establish
ment in life. There are more sweets than bitters about
the trial you are asked to undergo: you will have admirers
as countless as the sand of the sea-shore ; who knows but
pilgrimages may be got up to see you, not only of school
masters, but handsome young gentlemen, all anxious to
know how a pious, devoted, unselfish young schoolmistress
looks. Therefore, my good Mrs. Kaiser, do not throw
any obstacles in the way, for we certainly should not like
to proceed in the matter without your consent."
Madely now admitted, that she thought Wehrdi meant
well, but did not think the project likely to turn out so
successful as he seemed to think : many well-laid and even
useful schemes break down, and if this one did not end
well, she would be made the laughing-stock of the com
mune her whole life long to no purpose.
" No one," replied Wehrdi, " can tell the upshot of any
undertaking he may engage in ; but is that a reason why
he should not at least make the experiment ? What good
would ever be accomplished on earth if the principle ' never
to try ' were adopted ? When a man means well, he must
uct, and leave the issue to God. Did you hesitate to run
the risk of a life of misery when your husband asked you
to marry him ? Did you tell him, if you were sure the
386 JOYS AND SOR110WS

match would turn out well, you would have him, but as
you could not be certain he had better go elsewhere ?"
Madely could not help smiling at this illustration of her
own objection to our project, but said that Wehrdi always
turned everything into ridicule, making a joke of most
sacred things. If she could be convinced with anything
like certainty that any endurance on her part would rescue
five schoolmasters and five children from poverty, much less
five hundred, she would willingly submit for their sakes to
any amount of personal trouble ; and if Wehrdi himself
thought there was a fair chance of success, she would offer
no further objection, particularly since the minister had
approved of it; for, that to her was a proof the matter was
not altogether nonsensical.
Wehrdi remarked, that it paid him no great compliment
to value the minister's opinion at more than his own ; the
minister was undoubtedly a very worthy gentleman, but as
for mixing a little mirth with serious things, he did not
disapprove of that ; for, says he, on the dark impenetrable
grave the sunbeams flash, the moonbeams play, and many
other bright lights glance about the dank sward ; and so it
ought to be in life, nothing ought to be altogether buried
in gloom. ^What people call joking about serious matters
was nothing more than a tendency to throw a brighter
ishade of light than usual on obscure subjects : places
where such kinds of light never become visible are bound
less wastes that inspire no awe, and seem merely desert
voids. Now," continued Wehrdi, " since that is the way
the minister talks, you need not suppose, schoolmistress,
that because I joke now and then that I am not serious
even in my mirth."
He said this so drolly, when taken in connection with
his commanding mien, that Madely, laughing outright,
said she would even believe in his jokes so long as be
behaved himself like a gentleman.
The continuation of the work was there and then re
solved on. Wehrdi called, asked a lot of questions, and
carried off all the matter I had written, but never brought
any of it back. When I asked what had become of it, he
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 387

said he had to revise, amend, and correct it; but he,

nevertheless, continued to ask for more.
Whilst we were labouring away, a rumour spread about
that, owing to some proceedings in influential quarters,
steps were being taken by the Board to rescind the arrange
ment based on the valuation, and to grant schoolmasters
of a certain standing a salary of sixty thalers a year pay
able by the state, in addition to the sum paid them by the
communes.
"We thought this news too good to be true. Those who
have often been disappointed become extremely distrustful.
Our hearts vibrated with delight at the bare idea of such
good luck; but we were not fools enough to fancy it
would ever be realised. I thought, however, that if my
work were finished, it might have the effect of softening
some of the Board, and induce them to vote for the
measure. But I had not yet got much beyond half-way;
and I knew the die must be cast before I got to the end.
This disheartened me. I lost courage, and said to Wehrdi
one day he called, that so much profitless writing was
tiring me out, that it caused me to neglect my work, both
at the loom and in the fields, and that I thought it would
be perhaps as well to lay it aside till the Board came to a
decision as to our rise of salary.
" Potz-tausend, no!" exclaimed he; "that will never
do ; the Board will come to no decision at all, if we do not
stir them up a bit. Besides, the conclusion of the story is
wanted to conciliate a number of personages who are angry
now, and would be a great deal more so if you were made
more comfortable. Moreover, the book is required to
induce the people not to grudge the state allowance to the
schoolmasters, by showing them that they cannot possibly
be anything else than beggars under existing circumstances.
It may also be useful to the schoolmasters personally by
holding up as it were a mirror to their faces ; and in this
respect may be of infinite service to the juniors. It will
show them the stones over which they will inevitably fall
if they go a star-gazing as you have done sometimes, and,
with your example before them, may caution and prevent
them rushing heedlessly into matrimony. The minister
888 JOYS AND SORROWS

thinks it may also call attention to the proper working of

the schools, the internal economy of which does not yet
seem to have attracted the notice of the Board, neither
new schoolhouses nor new men being sufficient to remedy
the existing disorder, particularly if the schoolmasters be
left to act as they choose. At all events, if we place yourself
on good terms with the people, open the eyes of a few
of your blind brethren, and guide them into the right path,
we shall have achieved a great deal."
These remarks of Wehrdi's induced me to persevere, and
I received another impetus from the minister, who had
hitherto appeared to know nothing about what was going
on. He said to me one day in passing, " Kaiser, better go
on as fast as possible with your story. I should be sorry f
you were to stop." It was not till some time after, I
learnt that, through their united influence, Wehrdi and
the minister had obtained insertion for my narrative in a
journal published at Berne. Thus none of the joys or
sorrows attending the preliminaries of authorship fell to
my lot. Perhaps this was just as well, one's entrance into
the republic of letters not being always by a path strewn
with roses.
I applied every spare moment to the task, but with ever-
increasing toil and weariness. Any one who has had to
teach a hundred and fifty children for five or six hours,
will know in what state it leaves one's head. Nor could
the household affairs be altogether neglected. I had to lend
my wife a helping hand, as she had become so weak as
scarcely to be able to sit at her spinning-wheel.
The winter was very cold ; and lighting the fire at five
in the morning was so trying to the bodily frame, that I
would not permit her to undergo the fatigue. The way to
the well, also, was so slippery, that I would not permit her
to go there either. The washing I would have sent out,
had I had money enough to pay for it when it was done;
but that was out of the question. The children were be
ginning to be useful, it is true, still we had to keep a
sharp eye on their movements. The eldest boy could not
be weaned from his tendency to domineer over the others,
a disagreeable habit that gave rise to constant bickerings.
 OF A SCHOOLMASTER. 389

Madely, too, as she became weaker, grew low-spirited,

and I could not, for the life of me, keep close to my work
when I knew she was sitting all alone. Always when I
entered the parlour, her face would brighten up as if a
cloud were flying away from it. Our conversation was
mostly a discussion about our common cares, and, though
the subject itself was by no means enlivening, still there
was always concord and harmony between us. The ex
pected addition to our family would necessitate us to buy
another bedstead for the other children. We had to
think deep and long how this was to be obtained cheapest,
and how the cheapest was to be procured. We reckoned
up kreutzer by kreutzer the sum that would be requisite.
Sometimes, when the young people went to bed, I would
take the basket out of the cupboard, and count over the
money we had, piece by piece, as slowly and carefully as
possible, but always found a good deal less than was re
quired. Of the childbed, and its attendant expenses, I
scarcely ventured to think. I proposed to Madely to ask
Wehrdi for a temporary loan ; but she turned quite red in
the face at this proposal, and gave me no rest till I pro
mised I would not do so, unless we were in the utmost
possible straits, and, even then, not without her know
ledge.
* * * * *
One day, it was the first of March, 1837, some one
delayed me a considerable time in the schoolroom, and the
children had been twice to see why I did not come in to
the evening meal. Madely had placed a bowl of porridge
on the table, and had warmed up some sliced apples, over
which she had poured water to convert them into a sort
of broth. On seeing this unsavoury mess, I looked some
what grim, and asked why we had not coffee and fried
potatoes as usual. The tears came into the eyes of my
little wife, as she replied, that she had been twice to the
cellar with a candle to fetch potatoes, and had almost sunk
to the ground when she beheld the few that were left. If
we wanted to have any for planting, we must not touch
any more of them. She had forgotten, however, that I
did not care much about soup, but begged me not to be
390 JOYS AND SORROWS OF A SCHOOLMASTER.

cross, as we had need to be sparing of the potatoes. I

gave her my hand, as a sign that I asked her pardon; of
the sliced apples, however, I could make nothing; moistened
though they were, they stuck like wood-shavings in my
throat, and I thought that my wife had even more diffi
culty than myself in gulping them down.
Nevertheless, the children ate heartily, and whilst they
were enjoying the sweet, bluish broth, we sat together,
hand in hand. Neither sighed, though both reflected in
heavy sadness on the approaching domestic troubles and
the waning potatoes: these twin calamities whistled in
our ears and hovered before our eyes.
Searching for consolation without finding any, we did
not notice that the lamp, for lack of oil, had begun to burn
luridly ; nor did we notice that the room door had opened
gently, till we observed a dusky form step in and advance
towards us. Before we recognized who it was, the well-
known voice of the minister said softly, " Friend Kaiser,
snuff the candle, and rejoice ; a glimpse of good fortune
has shone upon you at last. Yesterday, the Supreme
Council voted you an annual state subsidy of sixty thaler?.
in addition to the salary you now receive from the com -
mune."
We sat as though rooted to our seats. As the sun has
to wrestle with the mists ere its rays reach the earth, so
these words had to struggle with our sorrows before our
minds became fully conscious of their import. At length
my wife, with tearful eyes, lifted up her hands, and uttered
very fervently :
" Merciful Father, forgive us that we had forgotten Thee
and Thy care for us ; never shall we yield again to grief
and repining, but be mindful of what Thou doest, even for
the undeserving. Weak we are by nature, and selfish.
May we through Thy grace become more worthy of Thy
abounding mercy ! "
." Amenl" ejaculated the minister solemnly.

THE END.
 LEBAHN'S WORKS

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 Price 15s.

FAUST,
A TRAGEDY. BY GOETHE.
With Copious Notes, Grammatical, Philological and Exegetical*

se Of all the productions of modern German literature, this singular

and powerful dramatic poem has excited the greatest interest, and not
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LEBAHN-S GERMAN CLASSICS.
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PETER SCHLEMIHL,
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