Writing Brief Messages in Industry

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development
Batam Institutional Development Project
Learning & Assessment Package
Unit Code: BSDC 0509
Writing Brief Messages in Industry

Section 1 Introduction to this Guide
CONTENTS
SECTION 1 INTRODUCTION TO THIS GUIDE.................................................................1

Welcome to this guide................................................................................................1
Definitions...................................................................................................................1
How long will this competency take to achieve...........................................................1
Literacy and Numeracy Requirements........................................................................2
Symbols..................................................................................................................... 2
Glossary..................................................................................................................... 2
SECTION 2 HELP FOR THE FACILITATOR.....................................................................5
The role of the facilitator.............................................................................................5
Training aids needed to deliver this competency........................................................6
Information Sources...................................................................................................6
SECTION 3 COMPETENCY STANDARD.........................................................................6
Unit Title..................................................................................................................... 7
Unit Descriptor............................................................................................................7
Elements of Competency and Performance criteria....................................................7
Range of Variables.....................................................................................................8
Underpinning Skills and Knowledge...........................................................................9
Context of Assessment...............................................................................................9
Critical Aspects of Assessment...................................................................................9
Linkages to Other Units..............................................................................................9
Key abilities to be demonstrated in this unit..............................................................10
Level of ability to be demonstrated in achieving this competency.............................10
SECTION 4 DELIVERY STRATEGY................................................................................11
A The Content Plan...............................................................................................11
B How to Teach the Competency Standard..........................................................14
C Teacher Support Materials................................................................................19
Handouts and Overhead Transparencies......................................................20
Tasks & Activities..........................................................................................54
SECTION 5 HOW TO ASSESS THIS UNIT.....................................................................51
What is assessment?...............................................................................................51
Achieving competency in a work related skill............................................................51
Qualifications of Assessors.......................................................................................51
Summative Assessment...........................................................................................51
Suggested Assessment............................................................................................51
Summary of underpinning skills and knowledge assessment...................................52
Competency Assessment Sheet...............................................................................57
Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page i

Writing Brief Messages in the Industry
SECTION 1 INTRODUCTION TO THIS GUIDE

Welcome to this guide.
This guide uses competency based training to teach workplace skills. It is based on a
competency standard that has been developed for the workplace of Industries in Batam. .
The competency standard is a simply worded statement about the performance in the
workplace that describes in output terms:
What the employee is expected to do
How well the employee is expected to perform
How to tell when the employees performance is at the expected level.
The major emphasis is on what an individual can do after following training. One of the most
important characteristics of competency-based training is its focus on training individuals for
actual jobs in the workplace.
This guide will help you teach, provide student-centred activities and assess in line with the
competency standard entitled Writing Brief Messages in Industry.
This unit can either precede or follow the delivery of the module entitled Report Writing for
Managers and Supervisors If other organisations must develop teaching and learning
materials for technicians and operators, they should ensure that training is tailored to meet
the needs of that particular target group.
Facilitators should structure their sessions according to the:
needs of their trainees
requirements of their organisation
time available for training
training situation.
A delivery strategy, incorporating a content plan, has been provided for facilitators. This
section gives an indication of what needs to be covered in the program to meet the
competency standard.
The delivery strategy used and assessment provided in this package are not compulsory
and should be used as a guide. Facilitators are encouraged to utilize their own industry
knowledge, experience and local examples to adapt the materials or develop their own
resources, in order to ensure the relevance of the training.
Definitions
In the training materials, a person attempting to achieve competence is referred to as a
participant. In your own training situation this person may be referred to as a student, a
learner, or a trainee. Similarly, a person teaching this competence is referred to as a
facilitator. In your own training situation, this person may be referred to as a teacher, mentor,
trainer or supervisor.
How long will this competency take to achieve

This unit has been developed to meet the needs of the employees in industries in Batam. A
thirty-hour face-to-face teaching will be sufficient for the delivery of this course. In addition
participants are required to spend a minimum of 20 hours on research and directed
activities. Facilitators operating under time constraints should focus on providing
Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 1

participants with the maximum opportunities to communicate effectively in a business

situation.
Literacy and Numeracy Requirements

Effective undertaking of the coursework involved to enable competency requires the
following level of literacy and numeracy
Literacy Capable of reading, interpreting and producing basic text.

Limited ability to integrate information in order to generate meaning.
Numeracy Ability to use basic mathematical and technical symbols, diagrams

and terminology in familiar and predictable contexts and be able to
communicate both mathematically and technically.
Symbols
Throughout the training package you will see a range of symbols. This is what they mean:
Symbol Meaning
Handout for trainees

HO
Overhead Transparency of information to be

OHT transferred to a chalkboard or flipchart for trainer
Assessment Task to be completed

Assessment Task
Task or Activity to be completed

Task
Glossary
Access and Equity
Refers to the fact that training should be accessible to everyone regardless of age, gender,
social, cultural, religious or educational background.
Assessment
The formal process ensuring training meets the standards required by industry. This process
is performed by a qualified assessor within an agreed framework.

Competency Based Training

Training that is concerned with what people must be able to do and measures performance
against agreed standards.
Competency Standard
The competency standard is a simply worded statement about the performance in the
Competent
Able to do the job and has all the necessary skills, knowledge and attitude to perform
effectively in the workplace, according to agreed standards.
Critical Aspects of Assessment

Explains the central point of the assessment and the key points to look for when assessing.
Context of Assessment
Specifies where, how and by what methods assessment should occur.
Elements
The skills which make up a unit of competence.
Evidence Guide
These are guidelines on how a unit should be assessed.
Fair
Does not disadvantage particular candidates.
Flexible
Acknowledges that there is no single approach to the delivery and assessment of
performance in a competency-based system.
Formative Assessment
These are small assessment tasks done during training. They assist in making sure that
learning is taking place and also give the trainees feedback on their progress.
Key Ability
Abilities that underpin all work performance. These are collecting, analysing and organizing
ideas and information, communicating ideas and information, planning and organizing
activities, working with others and in teams, solving problems, using technology, using
mathematical ideas and techniques.
These abilities are graded in different levels as follows:

Level of ability to be demonstrated in achieving this capability
Level Characteristics
Undertakes routine tasks within established procedures and is subject to

1
frequent progress checks by supervisor.
Undertakes broader and more complex tasks with increasing personal
2
autonomy for own work. Supervisor checks work upon completion.
Undertakes complex and non-routine activities, is self directed and
3
responsible for the work of others.
Linkages to Other Units

Describes the role of the unit and its place within the full set of competencies specified by
industry. It provides guidance as to which units may be assessed together.
Performance Criteria
This is used to judge whether an individual has achieved competence in a unit.
Qualified Assessor
A person who is qualified to assess.
Range of Variables
This details the range of different contexts that may apply to a particular unit.
Reliable
Uses methods and procedures that engender confidence that competency standards and
their levels are interpreted and applied consistently in all contexts and to all trainees.
Summative Assessment
The assessment done after training of the completed unit of competence to ensure that
trainees have achieved the performance criteria.
Underpinning Skills and Knowledge

Defines the skills and knowledge required to be competent at the specified level.
Unit descriptor
A general description of the competency standard.
Valid
Judgement on the same evidence and criteria will produce the same assessment outcomes
from different assessors.

Section 2 Help for the Facilitator
SECTION 2 HELP FOR THE FACILITATOR

A competency standard is a simply worded statement about the performance in the
The competency standard in this module is designed to meet the needs of employees in
industries in Batam.
This competency is able to be adapted to a wide variety of learner groups.
The range of training activities that has been suggested for delivering this competency may
include:
practical tasks
projects and assignments
case studies
lectures
group activities
role plays and simulations
interviews
Facilitators should select training strategies that are appropriate for the competency being
taught, the situation and the needs of the learners. Where possible data collected from the
workplace should form part of the core material used in the teaching-learning process.
The role of the facilitator

One of your roles as a facilitator is to ensure high standards of service through effective
training.
To ensure that you are ready to start working on this competency with participants, consider
the following questions.
How confident do you feel about your own expertise of workplace skills,
knowledge and attitude required to deliver each element?
Is there any new information that you may need to access before you start
training?
Do you feel confident about demonstrating the practical tasks?
Will you be able to clearly explain the underlying knowledge that the
participant will need to do the job properly?
Are you aware of the language and literacy skills your participants need to
demonstrate for competence in this module?
Have you considered access and equity issues in planning the delivery of this
training program?
From an assessment perspective, it is assumed that appropriate attitudes are integrated into
the assessment of skills and knowledge specified within the competency standard.

Section 2 Help for the Facilitator
Training aids needed to deliver this competency

Classroom space for delivery to participants, whiteboard / blackboard, overhead projector,
overhead projector screen, audio cassette player, folder, plastic sleeve, A-4 lined paper,
highlighter, pen and pencil.
Information Sources
The following list of references may be used to obtain more information.
BOVEE, Courtland L., THILL, John V.

Business Communication Today, Sixth edition. Prentice Hall International, 2000
COFFEY, Margaret P.
Communication Through Writing. Prentice Hall International,1987
DWYER, Judith
The Business Communication Handbook. Second Edition. Newcastle: MBC Managing
Business Communication, 1990.
GAVIN, Michael, PRESCOTT, David & HOLT, Richard Huseman

Business Communication: strategies and skills. Reinhart & Winston Publishers, 1985
GEFFNER, Andrea B.
How to Write Business Letters. Second Edition. Barons Educational Series, Inc., 1995
GEFFNER, ANDREA B,
Business English, Third Edition. Barons Educational Series, Inc.: 2000
PEASE, Alan & DUNN, Paul

Write Language. Camel Publishing Company, NSW 2107: 1989
POE, Ann
More Business Letters. Second Edition. McGraw-Hill, 1998
WOLFORD, Chester L & VANNEMAN, Gretchen

Business Communication. A Harcourt Brace Jovanovich College Publishers, 1993
READERS DIGEST
Write Better Speak Better. Readers Digest Asia Ltd., 1972
BSDC-501
Report Writing for Managers and Supervisors. BSDC-501: 2000

Section 3 Competency Standard
SECTION 3 COMPETENCY STANDARD

This competency standard has been developed for industries in Batam. The competency
standard is a simply worded statement about performance in the workplace that describes in
output terms:
Use this section to:
Identify what participants have to do
Identify what participants have already done
Check participants progress
Ensure that you have covered all the Elements and Performance Criteria in
training
Ensure that you have covered all Elements and Performance Criteria if
assessing
Unit Title
Unit Descriptor
This unit aims to develop the skills, knowledge and attitude required to plan, edit and write,
brief messages in industries in Batam.
Elements of Competency and Performance criteria
Element Performance Criteria

1.Plan and prepare brief messages 1.1 Identifies purpose and audience of messages received
within an organisation and written in the workplace
1.2 Identifies different types of brief messages received and
written in the workplace:
Fax
E-mail
Memo
1.3 Recognises various parts of brief messages received
and written in the workplace
1.4 Uses appropriate format and layout for brief messages
written in the workplace

2. Write effective brief messages 2.1 Uses appropriate staging required to plan and write brief
within an organisation messages in the workplace
Defining the problem
Gathering information
Categorising and sequencing information
Making notes
Writing first draft
Editing and presenting final draft
2.2 Uses appropriate style for writing brief messages in the
workplace
2.3 Uses appropriate vocabulary and common abbreviations
Range of Variables
This unit applies to industry employees interested in developing their written communication
skills.
The development of written communication skills includes writing routine workplace
documents.
Written communication may include but is not limited to:
Memos, faxes, e-mails
Formal reports
Informal reports
Statistical reports
Investigative reports
Spoken communication may include but is not limited to:
Face to face conversation
Telephone conversation
Formal interview
Meetings
Information sources may include but are not limited to:
Media
Industry associations and organisations
Industry journals
Computer data, including internet, CD ROMs
Personal observations and experience


To demonstrate competence in writing faxes, e-mails and memos effectively, evidence of
skills and knowledge in the following areas is required:
Purpose and audience
Identification of subject, purpose and type
Presentation and layout
Standard format
Most efficient layout
Discourse structure
Language and style
Ability to use simple and direct language
Use of appropriate vocabulary and accurate grammatical structure
Editing
Checking the content of brief messages for accuracy, objectivity and
completeness.
Checking structure and writing style for coherence, clarity and
conciseness.
Context of Assessment
This unit may be assessed on or off the job. Assessment should include a form of practical
demonstration, plus a range of methods to assess underpinning skills and knowledge.

This unit focuses on enhancing the written communication skills of industry employees in
Batam.
Look for:
Ability to convey written and oral message in a clear, concise manner.
General knowledge about format, style, structure, language features,
grammatical structure of effective business communication.
Linkages to Other Units

This unit can either precede or follow the delivery of the module entitled Report Writing for
Managers and Supervisors in Industry.

Key abilities to be demonstrated in this unit

Key Abilities Task Level
Using mathematical ideas and techniques -

Collecting, organising and analysing information 2
Communicating ideas and information 2
Planning and organising activities 2
Working with others and in teams 2
Solving problems 2
Using technology 2
Level of ability to be demonstrated in achieving this competency

Level Characteristic
Undertakes routine tasks within established procedures and is subject

1
to frequent progress checks by supervisor
Undertakes broader and more complex tasks with increasing personal
2 autonomy for own work. Work is checked by supervisor upon
completion
Undertakes complex and non-routine activities, is self directed and
3
responsible for the work of others

Section 4 Delivery Strategy
B How to teach the Competency Standard
SECTION 4 DELIVERY STRATEGY

A The Content Plan
Note: 1. In delivering the material below, facilitators, participants and assessors must
ensure compliance with full details spelled out in the competency standard.
2. The Content Plan links the performance criteria to the Underpinning Skills and
Knowledge.
01. Plan and prepare brief messages within an organisation
1.1 Identifies purpose and audience of brief messages received and written in the
workplace
Establish the function of brief messages received and written in the workplace
What is the purpose of writing brief messages?
Why are brief messages written?
When does one write these messages?
Who reads these messages?
Determine audience of brief messages
Why is audience analysis important?
Explain how audience determines the language of a brief messages
Discuss the overall purpose of brief messages received and written in the
workplace
1.2 Identifies different types of brief messages received and written in the workplace
Make a list of the various types of brief messages written at the participants
workplace
Discuss advantages and disadvantages of using different types of brief
messages (fax, e-mail, memo)
Examine brief messages written by participants over the last year. Which
type of brief messages is most commonly used?
1.3 Recognises various parts of brief messages received and written in the workplace
Examine a variety of brief messages issued by participants organisation.
Pay particular attention to
Features characteristic of each type of brief messages
1.4 Uses appropriate format and layout for brief messages written in the workplace
Examine format and layout of memos, faxes and emails both from
participants workplace and examples provided in Overhead Transparencies

02 Write effective brief messages within an organisation

2.1 Uses appropriate staging required to plan and write brief messages in the workplace
Discuss golden rules for writing memos, faxes and emails
Establish appropriate staging required to plan and write messages
Defining purpose
Collecting data
Organising facts
Writing first draft
Editing
Final draft
Discuss importance of selecting and organizing information in a logical order
Establish the importance of making notes
What is involved in drafting a message?
Presenting final draft
2.2 Uses appropriate style for writing brief messages in the workplace
Explain structure of paragraphs
Topic sentence
Elaboration
Evidence
Remaining focused recognise audience and impact message will have on
reader
Explain importance of using simple, direct and unambiguous language
Establish the need to achieve simplicity and clarity in writing brief messages
Natural tone
Avoid redundant expressions
Be courteous and tactful
Personalise message
Discuss concept of effective writing style
Correct choice of words
Choose concrete language
Use Active voice
Use simple, brief and compact sentences
2.3 Uses appropriate vocabulary and common abbreviations
Explain use of appropriate set of vocabulary to reflect topic and level of
formality
Familiarity with common abbreviations

Checklist
Demonstration of the Validity of the Content Plan with respect to Key
Competency Standard Components.
Unit Code BSDC-

Unit Title Writing Brief Messages in Industry
Element No Yes No Performance Criterion Yes No
1 1.1
1.2
1.3
1.4
2 2.1
2.2
2.3
Range of Variables

Section 4 Delivery Strategy B How to teach the Competency Standard
B How to Teach the Competency Standard

This section shows handouts, tasks and overhead transparencies that correspond to the competency standard
Note: Use an interactive, communicative approach throughout the course
What skills, knowledge and attitude do I want How will I transfer the skills, knowledge and attitude to the participant?
the participant to have?
1.1 Identifies purpose and audience of The facilitator should involve the whole group in a discussion regarding the purpose and
messages received and written in the audience of brief messages received and written in the workplace.
workplace
Participants must then work in groups of 4 to consider questions set out in OHT 1 .
Facilitator assists participants.

Participants present summary of groups findings to the class.
OHT 1-4
Participants complete Tasks 1-2
1.2 Identifies different types of brief Participants are divided into groups of 4
messages received and written in the Each group examines a variety of brief messages written by employees of the organisation
workplace:
Identify types of brief messages written. If necessary, facilitator provides
Fax some guidance by indicating one or more types.
E-mail establish features that are common to all brief messages
Memo Participants report their findings to their class
Facilitator compiles findings on the board and provides comment
OHT 2
Complete Task 3

1.3 Recognises various parts of brief Use examples of work related brief messages for this activity.
messages received and written in the
The facilitator leads the discussion, encouraging input from the class. The group identifies
workplace
as many features related to the format and layout of brief messages as possible. Explain
the purpose of these features.in terms of format and layout
OHT 6-8
Participants complete the following task

Task 3
1.4 Uses appropriate format and layout for Use examples of work related brief messages for this activity (the teacher may provide
brief messages in the workplace some examples of brief messages).
This session must be very interactive. Facilitator leads the discussion to establish the
distinctive features of different types of format and layout of brief messages. Participants
may be divided into groups of 4.
Results of discussion must be shared with the group.
OHT 9
H0 1-6

2.1 Uses appropriate staging required to This session must be very interactive. Facilitator leads whole group discussion in
plan and write brief messages in the brainstorming session re Golden Rules for Writing Memos, Faxes and E-mails. Encourage
workplace input from participants.
Defining the problem Establish the stages required to plan and write brief messages. First focus is Defining the
Gathering information problem.
Categorising and sequencing Participants are divided into groups of 4.
information Participants discuss how they select and organize information in a logical order and then
Making notes report the results of their discussion to the class. The facilitator summarizes the results of
Writing first draft each groups discussion.
Editing and presenting final draft Input by facilitator on taking notes. This should be accompanied by practical demonstration.
Discuss importance of editing. Select brief message written by participants. Whole class
editing
Whole group activity summarise all stages of planning and writing of brief messages
Task 9 making notes
OHT 10-16
HO 7-9

2.2 Uses appropriate style for writing brief Input by facilitator on paragraph structure.
messages in the workplace.
Participants practise writing paragraphs, using Topic sentence, Elaboration and Evidence
Revision: Recognise audience (reader). Discuss strategies to attract and maintain readers
attention
Whole group discussion. Appropriate style for writing memos, faxes and e-mails
How does one make ones message simple, clear, concise and precise?
Participants work in groups. Complete activity set out in HO 11-13
Share findings with other members of class

Discuss importance of personalising ones message? What impact does it have on the
reader?
Participants summarise their understanding of An Effective Writing Style. Facilitator assists
in this task.
Active Voice versus Passive Voice
Practise writing simple, short, compact sentences. Use correct punctuation
OHT 17-28
HO 10- 15
Participants are given the following tasks to perform.

Tasks 13-26

2.3 Uses appropriate vocabulary and Examine vocabulary in OHT 29
common abbreviations
Facilitator, with the help of participants, compile a list of
Vocabulary commonly used in memos, faxes and e-mails
Abbreviations commonly used in memos, faxes and e-mails
Participants work in groups of 3. Write a memo / fax / e-mail using vocabulary and
abbreviations
Each group gives their completed writing to another group for editing.
OHT 29-30
HO 16

Section 4 Delivery Strategy C Teacher Support Materials
C Teacher Support Materials

Handouts: These are the notes to be handed to the participants and will contain the
underpinning theory and background information relevant to the Performance
Criteria content being covered.
Tasks: These are small assessment tasks done during training. They assist in making
sure that learning is taking place and also provide participants with feedback on
their progress
Overhead Transparencies: These summarise the content to be covered in each
Performance Criteria.

Section 4 Delivery Strategy Handouts and Overhead Transparencies
Handouts and Overhead Transparencies
OHT 1
Purpose and audience of brief messages
in the workplace
Group work
What is a brief message?

What is the function of brief messages?
Consider the following set of questions:

What is the purpose of a brief message?
Why do we write brief messages?
When do we write a brief message?
Who reads the brief messages?
What types of brief messages are written in
your workplace?
How often do you have to write a brief
message?

OHT 2
Purpose and audience of brief messages in
the workplace
Purpose
The purpose of brief messages is to:

Communicate information
Explain new procedures
Announce changes
Place routine requests
Present informal reports
Present statements of policy
Confirm outcomes and advise on decisions
needed
Offer acknowledgement
Give instructions

OHT 3
in the workplace
Audience
People to whom the brief message is directed
Employees within the organisation
Employees from other organisations
Customers
Audience analysis
Who is your audience?
Select material appropriate to your audience
Put yourself in your audiences place
Audience will determine language and style of your brief

message.

OHT 4
in the workplace
Recognising your audience
Analyse Who is your audience?

How much does the audience know
about the subject?
Demographic Age, gender, educational background?
Interests What interests does your audience
have?
Environment Is your audience friendly / hostile?
Needs Information required by audience?
Customize How can you customise your message
to connect with your audience?
Expectations What does your audience expect?

OHT 5
Types of brief messages in the workplace
Identify the various types of brief messages written

within your organisation
Memorandum
Faxes
E-mail

OHT 6
List features that are characteristic of each type.
Memoranda
Most memos use a standard heading: the company

name about one inch from the top. Beneath this, the
following basic subheadings are used:
To:
From:
Date:
Subject
Copies (cc)
Enclosure and initials

OHT 7
Faxes
Use a fax cover sheet. This should include

The name of the person for whom the fax is
intended
The name of the sender
The name of the organisation and fax number
Date
Pages including cover
Subject line
A fax may include

Salutations and closings normally used in a
letter
E-mail address

OHT 8
E-mail
Get the address right (key in or copy and paste
recipients e-mail address into the To field
Use CC field for addresses of people who are
not main recipients of message but need to be
kept informed
Specific
Meaningful
Appropriate
Relevant
Thoughtful
Openings / Greetings / Salutations
Closings / Signing off
You may include a Disclaimer and Confidentiality Clause
Some e-mails may contain an attachment

OHT 9
Format and layout of brief messages
Memorandum
Company Logo & Name

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone, Fax, E-mail
MEMO
To:
Cc:
From:
Date:
Subject:
Body of a memo: (usually in three paragraphs)
(Initial of the sender)

encl.
ABC/def

Format and layout of brief messages HO 1
Memorandum
Company Logo & Name

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone, Fax, E-mail
MEMO
To: All Staff
From Administrative Officer
Date 27 June 2002
Subject Operating Instructions for New Copying Machines
1. A new photocopier has been installed in the general office. All staff are
welcome to use it.
2. To ensure the copiers survival, it is important to keep the following procedures
in mind.
a. Use the machine for no longer than 30 minutes at a time.
b. After use, allow the machine to cool for at least 5 minutes
c. Make sure the switch is turned off after use.
3. Please speak to me if you have any questions about the machine.

CC:
encl.
ABC/def

HO 2
Memorandum
Company Logo & Name

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone, Fax, E-mail
MEMO
To: Mr Leung
From Jim Langridge
Date 23 June 2002
Subject Purchase of Accounting Computing Packages
1. Your findings on our existing computing packages identify inadequacies. Your

proposal indicated two new packages suited to our current and projected
needs.
2. Please order these packages from the supplier nominated in the proposal and
arrange for their installation on our terminals as soon as possible.
3. Could you also organize and be involved in training each of our computer
operators?
4. Please see me sometime on Wednesday to arrange a reduction in your
regular responsibilities to give you time to complete this project

CC:
encl.
ABC/def

Format and layout of brief messages HO 3
Memorandum
Batam Publishing Co-Memo
Jalan Cemara Mas No. 43
Green Court, Batam, 29432, Indonesia
Phone, Fax, E-mail
MEMORANDUM
To: Indra Mohamed
Cc: Geoff Williams, Julie Astuti
From: Paul Brunker
Date: 30 June 2002
Subject: Additional Typing Staff
The workload in the editing department has reached the stage where we need two additional
typists. I have surveyed the overall requirements of the department and found this need is
justified on the following grounds:
1. In the past six months we have employed four additional editors but, so far, no more
typists for the department.
2. The workload in the last quarter of 1987 was up by 200 per cent and present
indicators are that the first quarter of 1988 will continue this trend.
3. The extra work being generated by our expansion has meant our existing ten typists
have each been working an average of eight hours a-week overtime. In other words,
the department is generating 80 hours of regular overtime per week.
4. Penalty rates mean it costs 50 per cent more to work this much overtime than it
would to employ two extra typists.
5. The continued use of overtime cannot continue. Our typists are feeling the pressure
in several ways, especially in constant fatigue and tension and in an increase in
typing mistakes.
6. Overall, the two extra typists would save the company money and lead to a more
efficient and accurate typing output.

encl.
ABC/def
HO 4
Faxes
University of Batam
Phone, Fax, E-mail
FA C S I M I L E T R A N S M I TTA L S H E E T
To: From:
Chandrakant Shah Retno Muklas

Company: Date:
University of Batam 26 June 2002

Fax number: Pages, including cover:
+ 62 778 452689 4 pages

Phone number: Senders Fax number:
+ 62 778 622001 + 62 778 450124

Re: Your reference number:
Personal NA
Urgent For Review Please Comment Please Reply Please Recycle
Dear Chander
Attached is the contract of employment as discussed. Note that the amount of

remuneration advised is Rp 3 million per month. No tax is deducted from this
amount and it is up to the individual to make his / her own arrangements with the
taxation office.
I am happy to answer any queries you may have about this contract.
Regards
Retno Muklas

Format and layout of brief messages {1} HO 5
Batam Publishing Co-Memo

Phone, Fax, E-mail
Fax Cover Sheet

To Samantha Hodges From Rima Slamat
Company Bank Indonesia Date 22 May 2002
Fax Number 001 62 778 459458 Pages including cover One
Member No 0981276
Subject On Line Access Transfer of Funds
Dear Samantha
As I mentioned in my e-mail yesterday, I am still experiencing problems with On-line Access.
Initially, I was able to get through the whole process up to the time I got the message, From
Account is not allowed to transfer.
Yes, I confirm that I am logging in with member number 0981276. Now I have the additional
problem it wont accept my password. Can you help, please?
As a matter of urgency, I need to transfer some money to the account to which my mum is
signatory. Can you organize this transfer, please?
Please transfer $1,000.00 from Multi Access Account No.789345 to Multi Access Account
No. 567877. Can you please send an e-mail advising me when the transaction is complete?
Thanks a lot for your assistance
Regards
Rima Slamat

HO 6
E-mail
From: "Erna Pyara" <ernapy@indosat.net.id>
To: "Frederica" <ffontana@agmin.net.it>
Subject: Fw: Job No. 3319 Primary Education Expert
Date: Saturday, 22 June 2002 7:40 AM
Dear Ms Pyara,
Thank you very much for your interest. I will consider your CV for our forthcoming projects
and insert it in our database. Unfortunately, we usually work with the other side of the globe,
Africa, Central Europe, Latin America, but anyway your C.V.seems very interesting and I'll
keep it in mind.
Have a nice holiday.
With kindest regards
Frederica
Agmin Management Agmin H

Recruitment Department
Florentino. 82
22359 Florence, Italy
Tel.: 0049/40/ 60 30 6-300
Fax: 0049/40/ 60 30 6-339
E-mail: recruiting@agmin-management.de mailto:recruiting@agmin-management.de
Homepage and Job Opportunities: www.agmin-group.de http://www.agmin-group.de

Format and layout of brief messages OHT 10
HO 7
Golden Rules for Writing Memos, Faxes, E-mail

Give your message a heading it will make it
easier for the reader to understand your
purpose in writing
Limit each message to one topic
Decide what you are going to say before you
start to write
Be concise
Use short sentences
Put each separate idea in a separate
paragraph
Avoid putting all words or phrases in capital
Use italics appropriately
Use standard punctuation
Use correct spelling
Use appropriate abbreviations
Keep a record of your message

OHT 11
HO 8
Golden Rules for Writing Memos, Faxes, E-mail
Think about your reader. Your reader

must be able to see exactly BE CLEAR
what you mean
must be given all the BE COMPLETE
necessary information
is probably a busy person BE CONCISE
with no time to waste
must be written in a sincere, BE COURTEOUS
polite tone
should not be distracted by BE CORRECT
mistakes in grammar,
punctuation or spelling

OHT 12
Planning and writing brief messages
Appropriate staging
In preparing a memo / fax or an e-mail you must:

Define your purpose
Assemble data required
Organise your facts in a logical sequence
Transform notes into a connected text
Edit your report
Write your final draft.

Planning and writing brief messages OHT 13
Defining the problem

Consider the purpose of your message: who is
it for, why does s/he want it, how will s/he use
it?
Instructions?
Request?
Announcement?
Authorisation?

Determine your audience

Subordinate
Superior
One person or several people
Internal / external

Gathering information
Decide what information is required to solve the

problem.
Collect all the relevant material - notes,
documents, etc.
Complete investigation and collect data
Categorise and organise information
Arrange the points of information in a
logical sequence and in order of
importance. Make rough notes.
Write your first draft

HO 9
Hints on note-making
Its not a good idea to write your notes in

complete sentences. Keep notes short.
Use abbreviations. But not so many that you
cant understand your own notes later.
Use words like because, therefore, and, but
to show how ideas are related.
Use the dash -. Its a very useful punctuation
mark in note making.
Use a lot of space - then
you can expand your notes later. Put each
separate idea on a new line.
Use the layout to help make the meaning clear.
Use new paragraphs, headings, CAPITAL
LETTERS and Underlining

OHT 16
Draft the message

Write introduction: state the subject, state the
purpose, summarise your findings.
Write the body of the message
Write the conclusion
Edit the message
Examine the draft. Does it achieve its
purpose?
Check your grammar, spelling, punctuation and
style.
Read the text aloud to yourself, or, better, to
someone else.
Finally, if possible, let someone qualified to give
constructive criticism look at your draft.
BE ACCURATE, BE BRIEF, BE CLEAR, BE DECISIVE

OHT
17
Paragraph Structure
A paragraph consists of a series of sentences built
around one main idea.
Topic Sentence {main idea}

Elaboration {expand on idea}
Evidence {provide evidence}
How direct, precise and concise can you be? This

will be determined by the topic sentence in your
first paragraph
How long or how short will your message be? This

will depend on how you elaborate every topic
sentence

OHT 18
Remaining focused
During the writing process, imagine that you are a radio

broadcaster on WII-FM. The success of your broadcast
depends on the audience.
When the audience tunes in to WII-FM they expect

something
Whats In It For Me?
Your task as a broadcaster is to ensure that:
1. You tell the readers in specific terms, exactly what
they will be able to achieve if they take the action / s
you want them to.
2. Your opening statement is an attention grabber.

Get your readers in quickly or else your message
will go straight to the wastebasket.

OHT 19
HO 10
Recognize your audience (reader).

The following acronym will help:
Analyse who is your audience?

Understand what is the audiences knowledge of
the subject.
Demographic what are the ages, gender, and
educational background of your
audience?
Interests what interests does your audience
have?
Environment is your audience friendly or hostile?
Needs what information does your audience
need?
Customize how can you customize your message
to connect with your audience?
Expectations what does your audience expect?
(see WII-FM discussion)

OHT 20
Appropriate style for writing brief messages
Appropriate style for writing memos / faxes / e-mails
Aim to make your message:

Sound natural
Be personal and friendly
Efficient
Clear, concise, precise
Business-like:
As per your request, please find enclosed herewith
the data on unemployment in Batam.
Natural tone
As you requested, I am enclosing the data on
unemployment in Batam

OHT 21
HO 11
Expressions to avoid in business writing

Avoid Natural
attached please find, attached
hereto, enclosed herewith,
enclosed please find
beg to inform you, beg to tell
I have your letter
I wish to thank you, may I ask
In the near future
Our Mrs Uma
Permit me to say
Thank you again
Thank you in advance
For your information

OHT 22
HO 12
Expressions to avoid in business writing

Instead of Use
Advise, inform Say, tell, let us know
Along these lines, on the Like, similar
order of
As per As, according to
At an early date, at your Soon, today, next week, a
earliest convenience specific date
At this time, at the present Now, at present
time, at this writing
Check to cover Check for
Deem Believe, consider
Of recent date Recent
The writer, the undersigned I / me
In the event that If, in case

OHT 23
HO 13
Avoid redundant expressions

Dont Use Use
And et cetera Et cetera
As a result of Because
As otherwise Otherwise
At about About
Attached hereto Attached
At this point in time At this time, now
Avail oneself of Use
Be of the opinion
Both alike
Connect up
Enter into
Have a tendency to
Forward by post
Continue on

OHT 24
Be courteous and tactful

Be prepared to say sorry
Do not accuse your reader
Building and sustaining the goodwill of your reader

should be the underlying goal of your message.
Instead of,
We have received your order.
Checking our records, we have verified the
error in your November bill
Try
Thank you for your recent order
Please accept our sincere apologies for the
error in your November bill

OHT 25
Personalise your message
Your message must be reader oriented and sound as if

you share your readers point of view.
Compare the following two sentences. Which one lets

the reader know that you care?
Please accept our apologies for the delay
We hope you have not been seriously

inconvenienced by the delay.

OHT 26
HO 14
An effective writing style is

Clear
Concise
Coherent
Correct
Confident
Concrete
Courteous
These characteristics are achieved through:

Correct choice of words
Avoid redundant expression
Chose concrete language
Use active voice
Use simple, short and compact sentences
Organise ideas in a logical order
Keep one idea to one paragraph
Use short paragraphs

OHT 27
HO 15
Choose Concrete Language

A dented, rusty yellow eighties Holden has a clearer
message than an old vehicle.
Avoid Technical Jargon unless your audience is

informed and understands your message.
Use Active Voice
Active Voice Passive Voice

Gautam completed the The assignment was
assignment. completed by Gautam.
Paul prepared the final The final report was
report. prepared by Paul.
Irwandi organised the The catering for the
catering for the meeting. meeting was organised by
Irwandi.

OHT
28
Sentence Structure
Use simple, short and compact sentences to
ensure that they are correct and coherent.
A simple sentence expresses one idea.
Read your report aloud. It helps to identify a
poorly constructed sentence.
Punctuation
Why is punctuation important? Function of punctuation?
Achieves same effect as pause and inflection do for

spoken communication

OHT
Uses appropriate vocabulary and
abbreviations 29
Vocabulary and Abbreviations
Correspondence Memo Proportions

Internally Email Relative merits
Externally Attend to Catalog
Long-standing Benefit Contract
Submit Informally Feedback
Compile Negotiating Transmit
Compile a list of
Vocabulary commonly used in memos / faxes /
e-mails in your workplace

OHT 30
Uses appropriate vocabulary and
abbreviations HO 16
Vocabulary and Abbreviations
PS postscript
p.p. per pro (on behalf of)
c.c. or cc carbon copy to
ref. reference
Rd Road
St Street
Sq. Square
c/o care of
enc or encl enclosed
& Co. and Company
Ltd Limited
Corp. Corporation
attn for the attention of
Add to the list

Tasks and Activities
Tasks & Activities

Task 1

Participants work in groups of 4. Discuss the following questions with your group members.
Write down your findings in note form and present the results of your findings to your
facilitator and class for discussion and feedback.
What is a brief message? What is your understanding of the function of brief messages?
Consider the following questions:
What is the purpose of a brief message?
Why do we write brief messages?
When do we write a brief message?
Who reads the brief messages?
What types of brief messages are written in your workplace?
How often do you have to write a brief message?
Task 2

Read the following three examples carefully. Identify the purpose of each and give reasons
for your answer.
Example One
We provide more cost-effective solution than any of our competitors. We have the
expertise, the personnel, and the resources to design a state-of-the-art day care
center for you.
We can increase your productivity and decrease absenteeism by providing this on-
site care center at a competitive price.
Consider carefully the following benefits of choosing our firm: increased productivity,
improved employee morale, decreased absenteeism, decreased tardiness, and the
knowledge that you have selected the premier provider of day care services.

Example Two
To: Great Valley Personnel
From: Quality Improvement Team
Subject: Parking Lot Lights
Date: June 18, 2002
Additional lights will be installed on the perimeter of the parking lot this summer. There will
be a total of 11 new lights, three in each side lot and five along the back lot.
These lights should create a safer environment. If you have any questions, call any member
of the quality team. Enjoy.
Example Three:
Welcome to your Mr. Espresso Machine! In order to use this product properly, you must
follow some simple directions. If you follow the directions, you will enjoy a delicious cup of
espresso or cappuccino.
1. Have a stainless steel container to froth milk.
2. Make sure your machine is plugged in.
3. Place the approximate amount of espresso in the dispenser shown in Figure 1.
4. Be careful not to touch the machine while brewing.
5. Froth milk by inserting the plastic cable into the stainless steel container.
6. Enjoy your favourite topping.
Task 3

Work in groups of 4. Identify the various types of brief messages you write at work.
List features that are common to all types.
Fax
E-Mail
Memo
Other?
Summarise your findings and present these to your facilitator and group for comment.

Task 4

Work in groups of 4. Examine the following memo.
To: All Staff
From: Program Director
Date: 25 June 2002
Subject Visit of Chinese Delegation 3/7/02
Staff is advised that this visit will occur on Tuesday of next week. Main idea
There will be a presentation to the group by senior staff and a Secondary details
chance for discussion between delegates and ourselves.
Lunch will be provided in the Board Room and staff is invited to Secondary details
attend.
Would you please advise me as to your availability from 11.30 Action

a.m. to 2.30 p.m? I would like as many staff as possible to attend
the discussion session and lunch.
Staff is advised that this visit will occur on Tuesday of next week.
Your group discussion must focus on the following aspects:

Purpose / audience
Type of message
Format and Layout
Is the message clear? Can it be improved?
Is the subject line appropriate?
Paragraph structure
Main idea
Secondary details
Action

Continue working in groups of 4. Examine the memo to Indra Mohamed in HO 3
Identify the purpose / audience and type of message.

Is the format and layout effective?
Is the message clear? Can it be improved?
Is the subject line appropriate?
Identify the background information / main idea / secondary details / action
Task 5

Work in groups of 3. Examine the fax to Chandrakant Shah in HO 4 .
Redesign the form to:

Create maximum impact
Improve readability
Communicate effectively
Imagine you have to send the same message to the same person by e-mail. Write the
message using e-mail format. Compare your finished message with that of another group in
the class.
Task 6
Planning and writing brief messages - memo

Work in groups of 4. Write a message to the Engineering Faculty of University of Batam,
announcing the appointment of a new department head. Use memo format.
Plan and write your message.
Define your purpose
Assemble date required - what information is required?
Make notes
Edit your draft
Write your final draft
Present your completed memo to the group for comment.

Task 7
Planning and writing brief messages - memo

Work in groups of 4. Write a persuasive memo to employees in your organization asking
them to participate in a Run for Life to benefit a local AIDS foundation.
Define your purpose
Assemble date required - what information is required?
Make notes
Edit your draft
Present your completed memo to the group for comment.
Task 8
Planning and writing brief messages fax / e-mail

Work in groups of 4. Write a letter to McDonalds expressing your appreciation for an
exemplary employee. You go to the drive-thru window often and the female employee there
always serves you well. Use fax or e-mail format.
Define your purpose
Assemble date required what information is required?
Make notes
Edit your draft
Present your completed fax / e-mail to the group for comment.

Task 9
Making notes and editing

Work in groups of 4. Read the following Memorandum.
To: All members of staff, Northern Branch
From: Managing Director
Date: 2 July 2002
As you know, one of the reasons for the introduction of laptops in Northern Branch was to
provide us with feedback before we decide whether to provide laptops for staff in other
departments. The Board has asked me to submit a report on your experiences by the end of
this week. I talked to some of you informally about this last month. During my brief visit I
noticed a group of people in the canteen playing some kind of computer game and I heard
from a senior manager that he only uses his for writing letters a job for a secretary, surely?
So, that I can compile a full report, I would like everyone to let me know what they personally
use their laptop for, what software they use and how long per day they spend actually using
it. It would also be useful to find out how their laptop has not come up to expectations, and
any unexpected uses they have found for their laptop, so that others can benefit from your
experiences.
RDB
1. Decide how it can be improved.

2. Redraft it together in your own words - editing
3. Compare your version with another groups version.
4. Identify the action you have been asked to take.
5. Plan your response memo or fax or e-mail format
Consider the purpose of your message
Determine your audience
Decide on information required
Organise information
6. Prepare your notes for writing your response
Exchange your set of notes with another group. How effective are the notes? Provide
feedback to each other.

Task 10

Structure of a good news letter / memo / fax / e-mail
Paragraph One Deliver the good news
Paragraph Two Provide any details
Paragraph Three Discuss any negative elements
Paragraph Four List the reader benefits and close with a goodwill ending
Work in pairs. Research shows that employees perform better when they feel appreciated
and recognized. Write a good news memo / fax / e-mail to applaud a colleague or an
employee. In this message, present the good news and any details of that news. Couch
negative elements in between the good news and benefits. List reader benefits to reinforce
the news and close with a goodwill ending.
Exchange your completed message with another pair. Edit the message and make
suggestions for improvement.
Task 11

Build reader rapport
Work in groups of 4. Consider the following question. Why should your audience read your
e-mail message, fax or memo? You must show them how reading your document will
benefit them.
Example:
Instead of this sentence Consider this one

Although I would seem to be enormously My years of experience in the data
overqualified for your position, I invite you processing arena could benefit your
to consider using my services. company.

Using these excerpts from actual letters, rewrite the sentences with a reader or you
attitude.
1. I read your ad for communications writer and said to myself, This job is perfect for
me.
2. Im writing to request that you do not me as a part-time writer. Instead use me as a
consultant.
3. Im at your service if this matter is worth discussing.
4. I am looking for interesting, part-time work.
5. I live less than 15 minutes from your office, which is convenient for me.
6. I would like to work for a firm like yours.
7. I enjoyed talking with you on the phone about my proposal.
8. I investigated this subject at length and would like to report it all here.
9. Im taking this course because it is required.
10. Did I miss anything at the meeting yesterday?
Task 12

Work in groups of 4. Revise and edit the following short article. It is wordy, hard to follow
and filled with grammatical errors. Compare your edited copy with that of another group.
You will need to produce explanations for monitoring of communications in a wide

variety of communications in the office including: conversations on the telephone,
written letters and computer disk files.
And similar rationale must be presented to defend against searches of desks, filing
cabinets, briefcases and purses.
Once youve established a policy stating that all communications are subject to
monitoring by management, should you then listen to personal phone calls and
survey personnel.
I do not advise listening in to personal calls, says Stevenson. There are common
law rights of privacy among the states to consider. A court may well ask , why did
you decide to listen to the conversation?
Note that some state have laws that explicitly deny employers the right to listen in on
personal phone calls. Check with your attorney.

Task 13

Aim for clarity and precision
Examine Sentence 1.a and Sentence 1.b. What is the message in each one? Which is
more effective?
Rewrite Sentences 2-7 for economy. Eliminate wordy phrases.
1.a In order to facilitate accomplishment of minimization of disruption or crippling of work
effort and wastage of man-hours resultant from this activity, immediate effectuation of
the following procedures is hereby announced.
1.b To carry on work as usual, follow these procedures
2 Parking in the lot adjacent to the building will be restricted by space allocation
designation for workmens vehicles and the four outermost spaces will be reserved for
foremen of the construction crew so employees should make other arrangements for
parking during that time frame and consider implementation of vehicular co-
transportation.
3 Please be advised that the new software has the capacity for analyzing sales figures
and budget figures. The end result will be a report that basically shows the difference
between the two.
4 Due to the fact that Friday is Good Friday, we will close early for the purpose of
allowing employees to spend time with their respective families on that day.
5 The consensus of opinion is that the end result will be very favourable.
6 I would like to take this opportunity to thank you in advance for your kind
consideration.
7 Although we have mutually agreed upon the end result, the true facts may still come
out.

Task 14

Find one word substitute for each of the phrases below.
1. With regard to
2. In the event that
3. Subsequent to
4. It is apparent that
5. The possibility exists that
6. Prior to
7. In order to
8. In the neighbourhood of
9. At the earliest possible date
10. From time to time
11. In reference to
12. It is necessary that
13. Due to the fact that
14. In the amount of
Task 15

In the following examples, remove the redundant term
1. Revert back
2. Bitter tasting
3. 8.45 p.m. at night
4. Somewhere in the neighbourhood of
5. Completely full
6. End result
7. True facts
8. Future prospects

Task 16

IIn the space provided, rewrite each sentence to eliminate the stilted tone.
Examples
We are in receipt of your letter dated December 13, 2001.
We have received your letter of December 13, 2001.
1. Please advise as to your decision.
2. In the event that your bill has already been paid, kindly disregard this reminder.
3. Due to the fact that your subscription has not been renewed, the next issue of Run!
will be your last.
4. Feel free to contact the undersigned if you have any questions.
5. Pursuant to our telephone conversation of Friday last, I would like to verify our
agreement.
6. Subsequent to last months meeting, several new policies have gone into effect.
7. Please forward your order at your earliest convenience.
8. Our deluxe model copier is on the order of a Rolls Royce in terms of quality and
precision.

Task 17

Rewrite this letter to make it more courteous, concise and you-oriented
Dear Ms Rina
I regret to inform you that we are completely booked up for the week of August 22.
We have no rooms available because the National Word Processors Association will
be holding their convention at our hotel during the week of August 22. As you will
surely understand, we have to reserve as many rooms as possible for members of
the association.
If you cant change the date of your trip, maybe you could find the doubleroom with
bath that you want at another hotel here in Batam.
Cordially,
Task 18

This extract has 13 spelling mistakes. Find the mistakes and correct them.
Dear Madame,
Thank you very much for your letter and the inclosed literature, wich we recieved on
Thursday 7 July. The infomation it contained was quiet interesting and we would like futher
details on several produkts in the cataloge:
No. 44 /77 Is this availaible in white?

No. 78 / 612 What is the diskount price of this for orders of over 500 peices?
No. 34 / 009 Is this compatable with your 55 / 88 device?

Task 19

Find the misspelled word in each group and correct it.
1. Inexorable 4. Primarily
Mercyful Principal
Potable Principle
Arboreal Receit
2. Unnecessary 5. Erred
Carnage Millionaire
Wierd Misanthrope
Judgment Lieutenent
3. Roses 6. Adjournament
Goverment Caucus
Absence Contagious
churches Digestible
Task 20

This extract has several punctuation mistakes. Find the mistakes and correct them
I am afraid, that we have not been able to contact you be telephone My secretary
called throughout the day yesterday at half-hourly intervals but was told that you
were not available; please contact me personally as soon as possible. Because we
need to check a number of details in your order?
You can reach me by telephone at any time this afternoon or tomorrow morning. Our
office hours are 8.30 to 5 you can leave a message for me, to call you back if
necessary

Task 21

Revise these sentences to eliminate negative messages.
1. If we dont receive your payment by May 1, youll be billed an additional fee.
2. Unless you send us this information, we will not process your claim.
3. Until your receive our permission, you may not begin the job
4. If you sent your resume, as you claim, we did not receive it.
5. Did I miss anything in class yesterday?
6. Due to an error in processing your order, it will be billed more than once to your
account. A credit has been issued and we hope you have not been inconvenienced
7. We regret to inform you that the merchandise you ordered is not available. Because
of this, we have been forced to cancel your order.
8. Please dont hesitate to call us if you have trouble understanding these instructions.
9. If you took the test, as you claim, we have failed to receive your score.
10. Unless you send us this data, we will not issue your coverage.

Task 22

Rewrite these sentences with a positive emphasis.
1. Although I havent worked for months, I have years of experience in data processing.
2. Although the freelance market has dried up in recent years, I am still available for hire.
3. But as any freelancer knows, things blow hot and cold and I am certainly not booked
to full capacity
4. I am writing to request that you do not hire me as a part-time writer.
5. We note in your letter that you claim not to have received your order.
Task 23

Here are some paragraphs with very short sentences. Join the sentences together to make
one or two longer sentences, using and and other conjunctions or adverbial phrases. The
first is done for you as an example.
1. There was a technical problem. The assembly line was stopped. The workers were
sent home early.
The workers were sent home early when the assembly line stopped due to a technical
problem.
2. Your letter to us was posted yesterday. Our letter to you was posted yesterday. The
letters crossed in the post.

3. Our company has a long tradition. Our letter look old-fashioned. We are trying to
modernise the companys image. All our correspondence should be word-processed.
4. Short sentences are easy to write. Short sentences are easy to understand. Long
words can be confusing. A simple style of writing letters is recommended.
5. A letter should have a personal touch. People like to be treated as individuals. It is

unwise to use a style that is to informal with people you dont know very well.
Task 24

A long complicated sentence may be confusing for a reader. Often short sentences are
clearer. Rewrite each long sentence as two or three shorter sentences, beginning as
suggested.
1. As requested, I enclose our new catalogue and feel sure that you will find within many
items to interest you, particularly our new range of colours that will brighten up your
office and keep your staff feeling happy.
I am sending

2. Working in an export department requires a great deal of specialist knowledge,

including a mastery of the complex documentation, an awareness of the various
methods of payment that are available and the ability to correspond with customers in
a distant country.
If you work in
3. One of the most difficult aspects of corresponding with people you have not met face-
to-face is establishing a personal relationship with them in order to show them that
you are not just a letter-writing machine but a real person.
Writing to people
Task 25

Active v/s Passive Voice
Active writing motivates readers by providing forceful, interesting reading. If the thing being
done is more important than the doer of the action, use the passive voice.
1. The store opened at 10 a.m.
2. Grant opened the store at 10 a.m.
Sentence 1 works better than sentence 2 because who opened the shop is less important
than when it opened.
Avoid expressions like:

It was stated in the report
It has been determined that
A report was sent to all divisions
Such passive constructions are more difficult to read. Eliminate use of passive voice.

Replace the passive voice with active voice.

1. On July 9, information was requested by you about our library holdings.
2. It was announced by the vice president that refunds will be given to customers
concerned about harmful chemicals in the product.
3. It is expected that we will see you at your next appointment.
4. Your assistance will be appreciated by us.
5. Please be advised that you are requested to call the provost as soon as possible.
6. The report was received by the employees.
7. It was requested by you that we sit together.
8. Fewer incidents were suffered by students last year than ever before.
9. It was stated in the report that our sports programs rival the Big Ten.
10. It is my estimation that you will complete your thesis sometime next year.

Task 26

Active v/s Passive Voice
Active voice focuses on the doer while passive voice focuses on what has been done.
Active voice carries more power than passive voice.
Eliminate the passive voice in the following sentences, replacing it with active verbs / writing.
1. All of the employees are in need of training to improve their skills.
2. Experts were involved in helping us to formulate the guidelines for the syllabus.
3. The kind of behaviour that can be disruptive to the team cannot be permitted by
managers.
4. There were 21 references to advertising in the text.
5. There is a conflict between the marketing and advertising department.
6. On June 1, information was requested by you about the upcoming Graduate Record
exam.
7. It was announced by the president that raises will be given to all employees
complaining about inflation.
8. Please be advised that you are requested to contact this office as soon as possible.
9. It is expected that you will be billed for the flowers next month.
10. It was stated by the lawyer that the victim could not be responsible.

Possible Answers Task 11
1. I read your ad for communications writer and said to myself, This job is perfect for
me.
Im responding to your advertisement for a communications writer. I would like to put
my writing expertise to work for your company.
2. I would like you to consider hiring me as a part-time writer. My consulting experience
will benefit your company in the following ways..
Im writing to request that you do not hire me as a part-time writer. Instead use me
as a consultant.
3. Im at your service if this matter is worth discussing.
I would like to meet with you soon to discuss your exciting opportunity.
4. I am looking for interesting, part-time work.
Perhaps I could fill your need for a part-time worker.
5. I live less than 15 minutes from your office, which is convenient for me.
Your location is so convenient. I would have no trouble arriving on time, even in bad
weather.
6. I would like to work for a firm like yours.
My experience and education could benefit your firm.
7. I enjoyed talking with you on the phone about my proposal.
My proposal could help you cut costs and increase productivity.
8. I investigated this subject at length and would like to report it all here.
My research indicates the following five items you might need to know.
9. Im taking this course because it is required.
This required course addresses many important facets of my career.
10. Did I miss anything at the meeting yesterday?
What did you cover at the meeting yesterday?

1. In order to facilitate accomplishment of minimization of disruption or crippling of work

effort and wastage of man-hours resultant from this activity, immediate effectuation of
the following procedures is hereby announced.
. To carry on work as usual, follow these procedures
2 Parking in the lot adjacent to the building will be restricted by space allocation
designation for workmens vehicles and the four outermost spaces will be reserved for
foremen of the construction crew so employees should make other arrangements for
parking during that time frame and consider implementation of vehicular co-
transportation.
Consider carpooling because parking next to the building is primarily for construction
workers.
3 Please be advised that the new software has the capacity for analyzing sales figures
and budget figures. The end result will be a report that basically shows the difference
between the two.
The new software program analyses and compares sales and budget figures and
produces a report..
4. Due to the fact that Friday is Good Friday, we will close early for the purpose of
allowing employees to spend time with their respective families on that day.
We will close early on Good Friday to allow employees to spend time with their
families
5 The consensus of opinion is that the end result will be very favourable.
The consensus is that the result will be favourable.
6. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you in advance for your kind
consideration.
Thank you for considering me.
7. Although we have mutually agreed upon the end result, the true facts may still come
out.
Although weve agreed on the result, additional facts may come out.

Possible answers Task 14
1. With regard to Since

2. In the event that If
3. Subsequent to After
4. It is apparent that Obvious
5. The possibility exists that Might
6. Prior ot Before
7. In order to To
8. In the neighbourhood of About
9. At the earliest possible date Soon
10. From time to time Occasionally
11. In reference to About
12. It is necessary that Must
13. Due to the fact that Because
14. In the amount of For
1. Revert back Revert

2. Bitter tasting Bitter
3. 8.45 p.m. at night 8.45 p.m.
4. Somewhere in the neighbourhood of About
5. Completely full Full
6. End result Result
7. True facts Facts
8. Future prospects Prospects

Correct spelling and punctuation mistakes.

Correct Spelling Task 18
Madam Enclosed Which Received

Information Quite Further Products
Catalogue Available Discount Pieces
Compatible
Correct Spelling Task 19
1. Inexorable 4. Primarily
Mercyful Merciful Principal
Potable Principle
Arboreal Receit Receipt
2. Unnecessary 5. Erred
Carnage Millionaire
Wierd Weird Misanthrope
Judgment Lieutenent Lieutenant
3. Roses 6. Adjournament Adjournment
Goverment Government Caucus
Absence Contagious
Churches Digestible
Correct Punctuation Task 20
I am afraid that we have not been able to contact you be telephone. My secretary
called throughout the day yesterday at half-hourly intervals but was told that you
were not available. Please contact me as soon as possible because we need to
check a number of details in your order.
You can reach me by telephone at any time this afternoon or tomorrow morning. Our
office hours are 8.30 to 5.00. You can leave a message for me to call you back if
necessary.

1. If we dont receive your payment by May 1, youll be billed an additional fee.

Please send us your payment by May 1 to avoid a late fee.
2. Unless you send us this information, we will not process your claim.
We will process your claim as soon as we receive your information.
3. Until your receive our permission, you may not begin the job
You may begin the job as soon as you receive our authorization.
4. If you sent your resume, as you claim, we did not receive it.
Please send us your resume; we dont have a record of receiving it.
5. Did I miss anything in class yesterday?
What do I need to know from the lecture yesterday?
6. Due to an error in processing your order, it will be billed more than once to your
account. A credit has been issued and we hope you have not been inconvenienced
We apologise for the inconvenience of our processing error. We have corrected your
account.
7. We regret to inform you that the merchandise you ordered is not available. Because
of this, we have been forced to cancel your order.
We are sorry that your merchandise is unavailable at this time.
8. Please dont hesitate to call us if you have trouble understanding these instructions.
Please call if you have any questions.
9. If you took the test, as you claim, we have failed to receive your score.
Please send us your test score again as we have not received it.
10. Unless you send us this data, we will not issue your coverage.
We will issue your coverage as soon as we receive your data.

1. Although I havent worked for months, I have years of experience in data processing.
I have years of experience in the data processing area.
2. Although the freelance market has dried up in recent years, I am still available for hire.
I am available to provide freelance work for you.
3. But as any freelancer knows, things blow hot and cold and I am certainly not booked
to full capacity..
I am available to serve your organization in a freelance capacity.
4. I am writing to request that you do not hire me as a part-time writer.
Consider me for a full-time or part-time job.
5. We note in your letter that you claim not to have received your order.
We are sorry you didnt receive your order.
1. There was a technical problem. The assembly line was stopped. The workers were
sent home early.
The workers were sent home early when the assembly line stopped due to a technical
problem.
2. Your letter to us was posted yesterday. Our letter to you was posted yesterday. The
letters crossed in the post.
Because your letter to us and our letter to you were both posted yesterday, the letters
crossed in the post.
3. Our company has a long tradition. Our letter look old-fashioned. We are trying to
modernise the companys image. All our correspondence should be word-processed.
Our company has a long tradition but our letters look old-fashioned and, as we are
trying to modernise the companys, all our correspondence should be word-
processed.

4. Short sentences are easy to write. Short sentences are easy to understand. Long
words can be confusing. A simple style of writing letters is recommended.
Because short sentences are both easy to write and understand and long words can
be confusing, a simple style of writing letters is recommended.
5. A letter should have a personal touch. People like to be treated as individuals. It is
unwise to use a style that is to informal with people you dont know very well.
Although a letter should have a personal touch and people like to be treated as
individuals, it is unwise to use a style that is too informal with people you dont know
very well.
1. As requested, I enclose our new catalogue and feel sure that you will find within many
items to interest you, particularly our new range of colours that will brighten up your
office and keep your staff feeling happy.
I am sending you our latest catalogue, as you requested, and I feel sure that it
contains plenty to interest you. Can I draw your attention to our new range of
colours? These will brighten your office and help to keep your staff feeling happy.
2. Working in an export department requires a great deal of specialist knowledge,

including a mastery of the complex documentation, an awareness of the various
methods of payment that are available and the ability to correspond with customers in
a distant country.
If you work in an export department you need a lot of specialist knowledge. This
includes mastering the complex documentation and being aware of the various
methods of payment that are available. You also have to be able to correspond with
foreign customers.
3. One of the most difficult aspects of corresponding with people you have not met face-
to-face is establishing a personal relationship with them in order to show them that
you are not just a letter-writing machine but a real person.
Writing to people you havent met face-to-face is difficult. The hardest part is
establishing a personal relationship with them, so that you can show them that you
are a real person, not just a machine that writes letters.

1. On July 9, information was requested by you about our library holdings.

You requested information about our library holdings on July 9.
2. It was announced by the vice president that refunds will be given to customers
concerned about harmful chemicals in the product.
The vice president announced that concerned customers will receive refunds if they
fear harmful chemicals in our products.
3. It is expected that we will see you at your next appointment.
We expect to see you at our next appointment.
4. Your assistance will be appreciated by us.
We would appreciate your assistance.
5. Please be advised that you are requested to call the provost as soon as possible.
Please call the provosts as soon as possible.
6. The report was received by the employees.
The employees received the report.
7. It was requested by you that we sit together.
You requested that we sit together.
8. Fewer incidents were suffered by students last year than ever before.
Students suffered fewer incidents last year than ever before.
9. It was stated in the report that our sports programs rival the Big Ten.
The report stated that our sports programs rival the Big Ten.
10. It is my estimation that you will complete your thesis sometime next year.
You will complete your thesis sometime next year.

1. All of the employees are in need of training to improve their skills.

All employees need training to improve their skills.
2. Experts were involved in helping us to formulate the guidelines for the syllabus.
Experts helped us formulate the guidelines for the syllabus.
3. The kind of behaviour that can be disruptive to the team cannot be permitted by
managers.
Managers cannot permit behaviour that disrupts the team.
4. There were 21 references to advertising in the text.
The text referred to advertising 21 times.
5. There is a conflict between the marketing and advertising department.
The marketing and advertising departments face a conflict.
6. On June 1, information was requested by you about the upcoming Graduate Record
exam.
On June 1, you requested information about the upcoming Graduate Record Program.
7. It was announced by the president that raises will be given to all employees
complaining about inflation.
The President announced that employees complaining about inflation will receive
raises.
8. Please be advised that you are requested to contact this office as soon as possible.
Please contact this office as soon as possible.
9. It is expected that you will be billed for the flowers next month.
We will bill you for the flowers next month.
10. It was stated by the lawyer that the victim could not be responsible.
The lawyer stated that the victim could not take responsibility.

Section 5 How to Assess this Unit
SECTION 5 HOW TO ASSESS THIS UNIT

What is assessment?
Assessment is the process of collecting evidence and making judgements on progress
towards satisfying the performance criteria set out in the competency standard. At the
appropriate point, judgement is made as to whether competence has been achieved.
Assessment identifies the achievements of the participant rather than relating the
performance of the participant to other participants.
The assessment tasks in this module allow for holistic assessment where skills, knowledge
and attitudes are integrated in the one task. Activities simulate real-life language as much as
possible.
Achieving competency in a work related skill

To be competent in a work related skill implies that the participant is able to:
Perform at an acceptable level of skill
Organise the required tasks
Respond and react appropriately to a range of situations
Fulfil a role in the scheme of things at work
Transfer skills and knowledge to new situations
When you assess this competency you must take into account all of the above issues to
reflect the real nature of work.
Qualifications of Assessors
In most cases assessments will be undertaken by the facilitator. However, other
appropriately trained teachers or program managers with good English Language and
communication skills may assist in this process.
Assessors must use assessment methods that are
Valid
Reliable
Fair
Practicable
Summative Assessment
These are formal assessment tasks designed by assessor to ensure that participants
successfully achieve the underpinning skills and knowledge.

Suggested Assessment
Assessment in this module is not an isolated activity at the end of the course. One
assessment task may address more than one element/performance criteria.
Consequently the assessment tasks listed in this section have been designed to assess
participants performance in an integrated task which will demonstrate their performance in
all elements as assessed against performance criteria. One assessment task can
incorporate more than one element.
Assessment Task 1
Purpose, audience and types of workplace reports

Work in pairs. Choose different types of brief messages written by employees of your
organisation. Examine and discuss the effectiveness of these messages in terms of:
Purpose
Audience
Frequency
Type
Other
Assessment Task 2
Format and layout of workplace reports

Examine the format and layout of the following forms used in your organization:
Memorandum
Facsimile Transmittal
1. Describe the effectiveness of each form.

2. Re-design the two forms. Your final product must:
Create maximum impact
Improve readability
Communicate effectively

Assessment Task 3
Distinctive features of memos, faxes and e-mails

Imagine you are the English Trainer in your company. Your supervisor has asked you to
prepare an English training program on Effective Use of Memos, Faxes and E-mails for new
employees of your organization.
Write the section of your training program dealing with features that are characteristic to
memos, faxes and emails. Draw up a list of the various parts common to each type. Explain
the function of each part.
Assessment Task 4

The photocopier is being abused again. The year is only three months old yet two-thirds of
the copying budget has already been spent. Yesterday you found someone had
inadvertently left the last page of a school Parents and Teachers meeting newsletter near the
machine and you suspect you are subsidising the printing of other outside documents.
You walked in on someone last week copying a 150-page book which is against all aspects
of the voluntary code which employees agreed to respect.
You dont want to restrict use of the copier, not to issue individual copy cards to police the
machine. Yet it is getting to the stage where some action will have to be taken to prevent
abuse.
Write a memo to the staff expressing your concerns.

Suggested planning and writing schedule
Define the problem
Gather relevant data / information
Organise the information in a logical order most important point to the least
important point
Make notes
Edit your memo
Use short sentences
Put each separate idea in a separate paragraph
Use correct spelling and standard punctuation
Are you using an appropriate style?
Does your message achieve its purpose?
Aim for accuracy, clarity and conciseness

Assessment Task 5
Planning and writing brief messages e-mails

Write a direct request letter asking University of Batam for information on its graduate
program in public relations. You need more communication skills to advance in your current
job as a publications editor. You would like to start your course next semester.
Remember to explain why you want the graduate information and how it will help you in your
current job.
Use e-mail format.
Use the suggested planning and writing schedule outlined in Assessment Task 4
Assessment Task 6
Planning and writing brief messages - faxes

Send a fax to Batam Furniture Special and ask them to replace your six mushroom chairs.
The paint on all six chairs is flaking off and you are dissatisfied.
Use fax format.
Use the suggested planning and writing schedule outlined in Assessment Task 5
Paragraph One Establish goodwill

Paragraph Two Present the negative message; present reasons for message
Paragraph Three Explain positive aspects and re-establish goodwill

Summary of underpinning skills and knowledge assessment

Use these tasks to determine if your trainees have all the necessary underpinning skills and knowledge
Further
Underpinning Skills and
Assessment tasks Yes No training
Knowledge
needed
Purpose and audience Examine workplace faxes, memos and emails
Format and layout Design format and layout for companys
Memorandum
Facsimile Transmittal
Distinctive features of memos, Write section of training manual dealing with characteristic features of
faxes and e-mails memos, faxes and emails
Write effective brief messages Plan, write, edit and evaluate work related memos, faxes and emails

Report Writing for Managers and Supervisors in Industry
Suggested Assessor Checklist for

Report Writing for Managers and Supervisors in Industry
Candidate Name: Assessor Name:
Has the candidate provided sufficient evidence to show that Notes
he/she can:
Demonstrate Knowledge:
Identify purpose, audience and type of memos, faxes
and emails
Explain the distinction between format and layout
Identify and describe the various stages required in the
planning and preparation of workplace documents
Organise information into coherent and logically
sequenced paragraphs
Use appropriate language and style for writing brief
messages
Edit work for clarity and readability
Perform procedures to the standard required by the enterprise,
Write memos, faxes and emails
Plan and organise activities effectively:
Define the problem
Gather information for a range of workplace reports
Categorise and sequence of information
Use Headings
Make notes in preparation for writing
Write a first draft
Edit and present the final draft
Work and communicate with colleagues
Share ideas and work related information with
colleagues
Seek clarification on ambiguous issues

Respond to problems that may occur with the work activity:

Locate source of problem
Interview personnel involved
Identify possible solutions
Report to superior personnel
Integrate health, safety and security procedures
Display safety regulations clearly in the companys main
offices and canteen
Check office lighting carefully
Use correct posture and furniture

Competency Assessment Sheet
Unit: BSDC-501
Trainee Name:
Assessor Name: .
The Trainee was assessed as: Competent

Competency yet to be achieved
Feedback to Trainee:
Signatures
The trainee has been informed of the Signature of assessor:
assessment result and the reasons for the
decision
Date:
I have been informed of the assessment Signature of trainee:

result and the reasons for the decision
Date:


Writing Brief Messages in Industry

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Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development

Batam Institutional Development Project

Learning & Assessment Package

Unit Code: BSDC 0509

Writing Brief Messages in Industry

SECTION 1 INTRODUCTION TO THIS GUIDE.................................................................1

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page i

SECTION 1 INTRODUCTION TO THIS GUIDE

How long will this competency take to achieve

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 1

participants with the maximum opportunities to communicate effectively in a business

Literacy and Numeracy Requirements

Literacy Capable of reading, interpreting and producing basic text.

Numeracy Ability to use basic mathematical and technical symbols, diagrams

Handout for trainees

Overhead Transparency of information to be

Assessment Task to be completed

Task or Activity to be completed

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 2

Competency Based Training

Critical Aspects of Assessment

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 3

Level of ability to be demonstrated in achieving this capability

Undertakes routine tasks within established procedures and is subject to

Linkages to Other Units

Underpinning Skills and Knowledge

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 4

SECTION 2 HELP FOR THE FACILITATOR

The role of the facilitator

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 5

Training aids needed to deliver this competency

BOVEE, Courtland L., THILL, John V.

GAVIN, Michael, PRESCOTT, David & HOLT, Richard Huseman

PEASE, Alan & DUNN, Paul

WOLFORD, Chester L & VANNEMAN, Gretchen

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 6

SECTION 3 COMPETENCY STANDARD

Elements of Competency and Performance criteria

Element Performance Criteria

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 7

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 8

Underpinning Skills and Knowledge

Critical Aspects of Assessment

Linkages to Other Units

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 9

Key abilities to be demonstrated in this unit

Using mathematical ideas and techniques -

Level of ability to be demonstrated in achieving this competency

Undertakes routine tasks within established procedures and is subject

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 10

SECTION 4 DELIVERY STRATEGY

Indonesia Australia Partnership for Skills Development Page 11

02 Write effective brief messages within an organisation

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Unit Code BSDC-

Critical Aspects of Assessment

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B How to Teach the Competency Standard

Facilitator assists participants.

Participants complete Tasks 1-2

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Participants complete the following task

Participants complete Tasks 4-5

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