Chinese Joke about sh

Chinese Joke about Spiderman

"S-pi-der-man"!
Miss Singapore
There is this miss universe contest..and the 3 finalists are miss american, miss australia, and miss singapore.
Now.the judges are asking 3 questions to the finalists..
the 1st question is: name me an electrical appliance starting with the letter lmiss american is as confident as ever, and
replies straight away:..lamp.
the judges say good.miss australia replies:light bulb. the judges say good.. now miss singapore is not too
sureshe finally says:..ladio.
then the judges say:.sorry, radio doesnt start with letter l..
Now the 2nd question is:..name me an animal starting with the letter l
miss american says confidently:.lion.
the judges say good..and miss australia says:leopard..
the judges say good.and now miss singapore isnt too sure again. she says:labbit
the judges say:sorry, rabbit doesnt start with the letter l..and if you get the next question wrong, Im afraid you are
out of the contest.
Now, the 3rd and last question:name me a fruit starting with the letter l..miss american says:.lime.
the judges say well done..miss australia says:..lemon.
the judges say well done. Now miss singapore knows the answer for once..she is very confident that she would make it
to the next round
she says:LIEW LIAN (Durian)..
This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Singapore should really
disqualified; and they decided that since Miss Singapore was having as many problems with the letter L, the decided to
give her another chance. Judge: OK, the final question is name me a human anatomy starting with the letter L Miss
american: Lung (applause) Miss Australia: Liver (even more applause) Miss Singapore: LAN CIAU (dick in Hokkien)
Judge: ?????????!!!!

Singlish and the SIA Girl

Interviewer: Name me 3 cars starting with the letter L.
Applicant 1: LANCER
Interviewer: Good, next
Applicant 1: um. LEXUS
Interviewer: Good, last one
Applicant 1, thinking for a while, says LOLLS LOYCE

Interviewer: Name me 3 fruits starting with the letter A.

Applicant 2: APPLE

Interviewer: Good, next

Applicant 2: um. APRICOT
Interviewer: Good, last one
Applicant 2, thinking for a while, says ANG MOR TAN
Interviewer: Name me a watch starting with the letter L.
Applicant 3: LOLEX!
#8

Why did Ah Beng force 18 of his friends to watch a movie with him? Because the ad said below 18
not allowed to go in.

#9

Maggi Goreng was pissed after getting beaten up. Royally pissed. So pissed that he went back to
his Noodle Clan to gather his brothers.

Mee Kia! he called. The Bao family are asking for it I want revenge! Lets go whack them!

So Maggi Goreng and Mee Kia went out to find the Baos any Bao. They saw Small Bao eating at
a kopitiam, so they dragged him back to their headquarters, where they gagged him and bound
him to a chair.

Ah, Small Bao, smiled Maggi Goreng. Now you will pay for what your brothers did to me.

Maggi flashed a pocket knife and, just as he was about to torture our poor pastry, Char Kway
Teow, the noodle boss, burst into the room. Wait! he yelled. Dont touch him! That one is our
undercover agent, Yin Si Juan!

#10

Ah Beng: Doctor, both my ears are red and really painful.

Doctor: What happened?

Ah Beng: I was ironing my shirt, then the phone rang. But I accidentally picked up the iron instead
of my handphone. Then kena, lah!

Doctor: Then what about the other ear?! Why is it red?

Ah Beng: The stupid fella call back, lah!

#11

Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire,
his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"

Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using
the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"

"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".

Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up
the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely
disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"

Ah Beng got the job.

Ah beng was asked to make a sentence using
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
This is what he came up with

1 fine day I go 2 climb up a 3 bed-room apartment to peep. After being seen by the couple in the room,
I got panic and had a great 4. The man rushed out and had a 5 with me. I run away to 6 for help. End
up running into 7 eleven, I grab some 8 and throw at him and pull out a 9 to stab at him. And 10
hor ...10 hor... 10 .... he die lor..

continuation of the story....

.....and 10 hor .....10 hor .... I put the 9 back on the shelf and pay for 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day I 'kor'
my boss to say I am 6. He say 5. Tomorrow also don need to come back 4 work. He also say go climb
a 3 and jump. I don understand. I nice 2 him but I don know what he 1?