Hoi Kwan

Positive Psychology 4730-01

October 28, 2017

Self-Deception

Self-deception is defined as when one is shut in a box with no external stimuli coming in except
ones closed perspective. Now I have had experience overcoming self-deception and coming out of the
box. This took place while I was still in high school. During my early years of high school, my course load
was relatively easy and as a result, it wasnt difficult getting high scores. But this lead to a rise in my
ego, and I began to feel superior over my peers and begin to shut out other peoples thoughts and
opinions. However, I was able to overcome this sense of self-deception when I began to take a heavier
course load. As time progressed and the weight of my advanced classes increased, and my grades
started to dip. I realized that I cannot overcome these struggles alone and continue to blame external
factors for my failure. Because of this, I started to bring down my walls and seeing my fellow peers as
individuals rather than people that are inferior and below me. I stopped self-justifying my mistakes and
failures and I started to ask people whether it was my instructors and peers for advice and help. By
changing my mentality, at the end of the year, I did relatively well on my final assessments and in
addition to this, I bridged the gap between me and my peers and had closer relationships to those
around me. What I learned from this experience is that the world doesnt revolve around you. In the
end, nobody is more special than anyone else in this world and it is important for us to lower our guard
and treat others as individuals who have their own perspectives and ideas and that we should take them
into account.

I have had another experience but this time, it is my friend who is succumbing to self-deception.
It all started when me and a group of friends decided to help volunteer at a hospital. After a few
months of service which consisted of wheeling patients, delivering mail and basic data entry tasks, I
eventually got promoted to work in the surgical area because I volunteered overtime and had a good
impression on my supervisor. However, one of my friends was stuck doing the same menial tasks of
wheeling patients. Because he was mostly unenthusiastic about his work, he tended report late and
leave early. This left a negative impression on the director of the program; however, when he found out
that I got promoted, he became very jealous. He started to blame those around him for not getting the
position himself. Instead of taking responsibility for his wrongdoings, he blames me for kissing up to the
director and accuses me of stealing his position and making him look unqualified for the job when in
reality it is only due to his careless actions. One day, the director tried to talk to him about where he
was underperforming and how he could possibly improve upon his current performance; however, my
friend ignores her advice because he feels like she distrusts the work he puts out and that she was using
her higher level of authority. There were many instances of these but alas none of them were effective
and thus the cycle of collusion had begun. In the end, my friend decided to leave his volunteer position
behind so he could pursue a better environment. What I learned from the situation is that often times
people who put themselves in the box have a very difficult time getting out of it because they are
constantly self-justifying their actions whether they are good or bad. It is important that we reflect on
ourselves and not blame others for our short-comings because in the end, it will only benefit us in the
long-run.