Beren Matthews - Dark Sound Contextualisation

For my project I wanted to provide two differing examples of how I could approach dark sounds. One
unapologetically dark in theme, music & production. The other dark in it's use of irony & juxtaposition.
'Atonia, Let Me Go' is an example of how dark sound may be approached within the format of my band 'Grip-
Like Vice.' It focuses on a pretty standard line-up of instruments (albeit supplemented with the usual
trappings of studio recording.) Whereas 'So Happy (I Could Die)' is open ended and comes with no
predetermined expectations or guidelines. This makes it less representable as a band, but more
explorational as a result. Allowing the song and composition to guide the instrumentation rather than the
limitations of a fixed group of players.
I will discuss both tracks sequentially and dissect some of the lyrical and musical choices that
contribute to the dark themes presented.

Atonia, Let Me Go

This song takes inspiration from a few unfortunate sleep paralysis experiences I had a few years ago. The
subject itself almost literally embodies darkness (in terms of the physical surroundings) and unlike the next
track is less based on satire or irony. But instead, an attempt to purposely play into the hands of the subject
both musically and lyrically. The ominous ticking of the clock gives us a sense that the passage of time is
very clear and ever present. Threatening, diminished chords accompany and lead straight into a whole tone
vocal melody which begs the question: Have you ever wondered how it would feel to wake up dead?

Fig 1: Whole Tone vocal melody. The scales' inherent lack of tonal centre provides a level of dream like
disorientation and instantaneous tension before releasing into a more pleasing diatonic descent.

This question is posed throughout as we begin to delve into the topic in much greater descriptive detail:
Taking the language from my bones, straight jacket that's made of stones. Yet despite being caught in the
grasp of sleep paralysis a sense of resentment hangs in the air: You're not even listening to my voiceless
speech.
Suggesting that despite the arguable impossibility of hearing silence, the resentment of my partner for not
being awoken and rallied by my plight is irrational...but existential.
Not unlike the childish arguments of yesteryear I sarcastically quip: I'm not even listening to your
deafening sleep. These resentful lines are accompanied by a racket of drums, fuzz guitar and tritone
substitutions. Theses harmonic choices (along with the whole tone, diminished and tense slash chords)
really add to the drama and intentional lack of comfort that comes with the theme. Throughout the middle
section I plead with Atonia (as if it were a person) to free me of this torture. The intentional humanisation of
Atonia leads listeners to ask: Who's Atonia?! upon hearing the track.

Although the muscles become more relaxed during non-REM sleep, they become completely paralyzed
and unresponsive during REM sleep. This virtual absence of muscle tone and skeletal muscle activity is
known as atonia, and it occurs because the brain impulses that control muscle movement are completely
suppressed. (HowSleepWorks, 2017)
It's widely considered to be a natural defence mechanism that prevents us from acting out our dreams.
Hence people with a lack of Atonia in their body will likely sleep walk. Though there is still mystery
surrounding this debilitating process.

The natural process of REM atonia likely evolved to prevent us from injuring ourselves or wandering into
danger during the dream state...Surprisingly, considering that sleep paralysis is such an important part of
healthy REM sleep, scientists still arent sure of the mechanism by which the brain induces REM atonia.
(Dreamherbs.com, 2012)

As you can imagine this twisted purgatory between awake and asleep can be very frightening as your
nightmares somehow escape and become real world hallucinations.

Sleep paralysis can have traumatic consequences for the sufferer. Many of those that have suffered from
this sleeping paralysis in the past have described the horrible sense that there was a presence other than
themselves in the room, which meant them harm. Others have reported feeling a great weight on their
chest and an awful thought that they were going to die. As your brain is unable to rationalise the
experience, your anxiety levels peak, leading your brain to project shapes or even images of yourself
within your field of vision. Of course, in your alarmed state you fail to recognise these images as yourself
and your brain fills in the necessary gaps by inserting memories thus leading to more confusion and
panic. (Horan, 2017)

Whilst clearly not of human origin, the embodiment of sleep paralysis as a bipedal entity has long endured in
certain cultures. Some believing it to be the work of a demon or incubus figure.

The Nightmare by Henry Fuseli is widely acknowledged as one of the first known painted interpretations of
sleep paralysis. it's first exhibition at the Royal Academy in 1782 left exhibitors shocked and frightened.

Ever since it was first exhibited to the public...The Nightmare has been an icon of horror...The Nightmare
made Fuselis name as an artist, and established his reputation as a painter of the weird, the supernatural,
and the shocking. Rumours abounded that he ate raw pork in order to inspire weird dreams or took opium.
(The Nightmare: Fuseli and the art of horror, 2006)

This humanised plea for help plays out to a progressive feel change which cycles bars of 5/8 and 7/8 whilst I
ponder: If I never move again was it worth it? Paralysed in life & sleep, is it worth it? This see's me
considering wether my time up to this moment had be spent wisely, or in vain. If I truly became paralysed
could I look in the mirror and know that I made the best out of my ability to move? Would I regret the
movements I never made? Would paralysis be a fitting punishment for my idol hands? Do I deserve the right
to move?
I would like to end with a short excerpt from a Sleep paralysis sufferers experience.
 Suddenly Im awake. Something is on me. A shadow or a shape. Something nasty. Im pinned to my bed
and I cant move a muscle. There are whispers, wicked whispers. I think Im screaming but I make no
sound. Theres a loud buzz, a whoosh, and Im sucked out of myself, twisting, turning, then dragged. But
through my ever-so-slightly-open eyes, I see my body is still motionless. (Emslie, 2016)

So Happy (I Could Die)

For my second track I wanted to employ a different working method and presentation of dark themes.
Whereas the first track hinged on dark harmony and in many ways delivered a blatant example there-of, this
tune is an attempt (which ultimately fails) to hide the misery in the irony and undercurrent of the lyric and
music. Though it's clearly hidden in plain view.
The fragile vocal betrays the lyric whilst allowing the music to hint at the upcoming attempts to hide
ones true feelings. It is presented from the viewpoint of a narrator who is so dedicated to hiding their misery
that they would gladly rationalise anything that could be mistaken for an out of line emotion. Almost to the
point of being insulted by the notion of not being seen as 200% happy at all times. Shrugged off in a snobby
dinner party way: Who me? Sad? Gosh no! You must have me mixed up with somebody else! The need
to feign happiness is brought to the fore when the upbeat chorus parties to the proclamation of being So
happy I could die. Yet the narrator could be considered disappointed that they haven't yet done so: I feel so
happy I could die. I've done my bit, I'm thinking: why am I still here? In reality though the opening lines serve
as evidence that something is not quite right: I'm not allowed to be sad, I assure you that's not what I am &
you could be mistaken by my lack of celebration. The revelation this emotional filtering is brought starkly into
to focus during the second verse: I'm not allowed to be me, it's the last thing that i'd want to be. It remains
unclear wether this is self imposed or an order...
Regarding process, I was inspired by the found sounds we made during Seminar. Using them to
create loops proved interesting and made for an exciting point of inspiration. Allowing the beat and sounds to
guide the vibe of the song (rather than writing the song, micing up drums etc) was certainly outside of my
usual working patterns. In keeping with this mantra I did a lot of research and stumbled on an interesting
company called 'Spitfire Audio' who make 'Kontakt' libraries out of really interesting and traditionally non-
musical items. 'Office Lightshades', 'Floppy Disk Drives', 'Harmonic Piano' and other experimental sounds
provided inspiration and matched well with my 'found sound' loops.
Now, one couldn't possibly mention such sounds without considering the influence of Delias Tatty
Green Lampshade. (Taylor, 2013)

My most beautiful sound at the time was a tatty green BBC lampshade. It was the wrong colour, but it had
a beautiful ringing sound to it. I hit the lampshade, recorded that, faded it up into the ringing part without
the percussive start. I analysed the sound into all of its partials and frequencies, and took the 12 strongest,
 and reconstructed the sound on the workshops famous 12 oscillators to give a whooshing sound.
(Derbyshire cited in Taylor, 2013)

One of many innovative sound creation techniques harnessed by Derbyshire during her time at the BBC
Radiophonic Workshop. Clearly an innovator in the use and manipulation of found and and non-traditional
sound.
Despite the darkness inherent in some of the sounds present in the track I really wanted to build up
into an ironic foot stomping chorus. At this point the narrator is so committed to convincing the listener of his
happiness that he's broken into an anthemic chant where the words and sounds juxtapose the sentiment that
the narrator is desperately to convey. He's almost betraying himself...Like a cry for help. Despite numerous
attempts in vain, the narrator fails to convince us...It's denial till the bitter end.
Comparatively I feel that this song is more emotionally impactful than the first. This serves not to
cheapen the incomparable fear inherent with sleep paralysis. But to acknowledge the emotional power of
humanised and most importantly, identifiable trauma. Perhaps we are more effectively able to contextualise,
or empathise with a known human emotion. Rather than what sounds like a supernatural outing with Freddy
Krueger.
Empathy researcher and Harvard University grad Abigail Marsh writes:

The most important part of feeling empathy is first recognizing what someone else is feeling. We know
through years of studies and observation that early nurturing helps promote emotional connection. But an
overview of recent cognitive neuroscience research highlights the relationship between empathy and the
ability to detect and respond to distress in others...Empathizing with others often involves activating the
same brain structures that would be active if you yourself were experiencing the pain, fear, or disgust the
other person is experiencing. (Marsh, 2013)

Artwork

In keeping with the musical themes and stylistic delivery. The artwork attempts to further exemplify the
different presentations of darkness on display. The design for 'Atonia, Let Me Go' being more blatant and in
many ways obviously dark. But as the lyric and music betrays the narrator in 'So Happy (I Could Die)', so too
does the artwork and title. The bright colours and relatively pop single looking Geometrics present the
words SO HAPPY billboarded front and centre. Serving to almost hide the remaining title in plain view.
Despite making every effort to present an image of happiness, he fails again...

Notes and lyrics:

As a final addition I would like to include not only the lyrics. But also a snapshot or sketchpad of all the un-
used (in some cases random) sentences that were frantically penned during the songwriting process. These
include inspirational facts, random thoughts, un-developed ideas and possibly non-sensical mutterings.
These unedited brainwaves may serve as a brief insight into the methods by which I like to write lyrics.

You'll find the final lyrics laid out at the top of each section, followed by a mass of random thoughts.
Atonia, Let Me Go
So Happy (I Could Die)
 Bibliography

THE NIGHTMARE: FUSELI AND THE ART OF HORROR. (2006). [ebook] London: Birkbeck Centre for
Nineteenth-Century Studies, p.1. Available at: http://www.bbk.ac.uk/english/19c/Workshop%203,%20item
%203%20-%20press%20release.pdf [Accessed 26 Nov. 2017].

Kee, C. (2015). 13 Facts About Sleep Paralysis That Will Keep You Up At Night. [online] BuzzFeed. Available
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[Accessed 26 Oct. 2017].

HowSleepWorks. (2017). REM SLEEP - TYPES AND STAGES OF SLEEP - HowSleepWorks. [online]
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Horan, L. (2017). Waking Up Dead: What Is Sleep Paralysis? - The Sleep Matters Club. [online] The Sleep
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Dreamherbs.com. (2012). REM Atonia | DreamHerbs. [online] Available at: http://dreamherbs.com/sleep-

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Emslie, K. (2016). Awake in a Nightmare. [online] The Atlantic. Available at:

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/05/sleep-paralysis/484490/ [Accessed 27 Oct. 2017].

Payes, R. and Marsh, A. (2013). Empathy: Whats in it to Feel Others Pain?. [online] Dana.org. Available at:
http://www.dana.org/News/Details.aspx?id=43284 [Accessed 28 Nov. 2017].

Taylor, P. (2013). Delias Tatty Green Lampshade. [online] Effectrode. Available at:
http://www.effectrode.com/delias-tatty-green-lampshade/ [Accessed 1 Dec. 2017].

Prebble, T. (2015). I love Delia Derbyshire | Music of Sound. [online] Musicofsound.co.nz. Available at:
http://www.musicofsound.co.nz/blog/i-love-delia-derbyshire [Accessed 1 Dec. 2017].