The graph below gives information about car ownership in Britain from 1971 to 2007.

The presented graph illustrates the changes in the number of cars owned by the British over the period
of 36 years.

It is clear that the car ownership increased considerably between 1971 and 2007. The proportion of two Commented [L1]: The car ownership cannot increase, but the
percentages can. Use the percentage of car ownership increased
cars rose; meanwhile, the figures for household without a car declined significantly.
Commented [L2]: Add s subsequent to household
As can be seen, in 1971, nearly 50 % of the Britain people did not own a car. Over 43% of households
had regular use of one car and it was uncommon to have three or more cars. Commented [L3]: Should paraphrase this phrase. Suggestion:
regularly used one car
From 1972, there was an upward tendency in the use of cars, especially two cars which climb and Commented [L4]: Past tense climbed
reached a peak at about 26% in 2007. The ownership of three or more cars experienced a slight roar Commented [L5]: Add in percentages subsequent to
experienced a slight roar
from 1978 to 2006 while a level off trend was seen at one car category through 36 years. The
percentage of people using no car dramatically decreased to below 25% in the end of period.

Task achievement 4 The essay addressed the task but there are some inaccurate
details, such as the overall part.
Coherence and cohesion 3 You have used linking words, but sometimes inappropriate.
There is not a clear overall progression. The third para
compared Japan and Australia, the final para described the
other countries that follow the same downward trend?? Is
that what your writing wants to cover?
Lexical resource 4 You have tried not to repeat words, but sometimes
inappropriate and misunderstanding. Try to learn more
collocations and check dictionaries for synonyms, antonyms,
examples of how to use the words.
Grammar 5 Enough to express ideas but with a limited range of
structures. Try adding one more popular sentence structure in
Task 1: There is a fall/ decline in
Overall 4