Hey! Wanna go shoot some hoops?

Andrew asks Brady while sitting on their bunk

beds. Brady sighs, I guess. The two teenage boys grab a basketball and run out of their foster
home doors. They gather around their foster brothers and pick teams. Me and Michael will be
captains! Andrew announces. Michael chooses first, then Andrew, then Michael and the pattern
continues until there are two left-Brady and a boy named Eric. uhhh not much of a choice
here. So, Eric. Not to mention, Brady never usually plays with his brothers. Brady, get over
here. Youre on our team, Andrew says with a look of defeat.
Andrew tells Brady he is guarding Michael, which is their best player. This will be
easy, Michael says to Brady laughing. He starts to dribble and Brady is guarding him. He passes
the ball over to Eric and Brady is still guarding Michael confusingly. Michael runs out to the
wing to shoot a three off a pass from Eric when Brady jumps with MIchael and blocks the ball
out of the court.
Was that legal? Brady asks. The boys are standing still with a shocked look. They
began to cheer and praise Brady. Dude, you are amazing, The boys told Brady. He shook his
head, No, i just got lucky, dude. They threw him the ball to shoot from the three point line.
Swish. They boys cheered once again and kept giving him the ball to shoot and do more cool
tricks.
After the sun started to go down, the foster mom yelled for them to come back in,
because it was a school night. They ran in and got ready for bed. Brady, you need to try out for
the school basketball team! Michael told Brady. I dont think I am cut out for it, but Ill try it,
He answered.
The next morning, Brady visited the coach and asked to be on the team. What grade?
Freshman? The coach asked Brady. No. Senior, Brady answered back confusingly. Youre
telling me this is your first year playing every? Brady nodded his head and the coach opened his
eyes wide in shock. Well, everyone starts somewhere, the coach said with a smile on his face,
practice starts after school.
After school, Brady attended practice and surprised everyone on the team. Brady, I am
going to throw the ball near the basket and I want you to jump and throw the ball into the
basket, said one of the players. The kid threw him an alley-oop and Brady jumped straight up
into the air and slammed the ball into the basket. A moment of silence occurred. That is called a
dunk, Then everyone was shouting with excitement. The coach was so impressed he called
college coaches to come watch Brady.
It was game night and five college coaches were there to watch Brady. The game started
and Brady had the ball. He dribbled between his legs, made different moves, and passed the ball
to one of his teammates. The ball came back to him and he shot the ball and missed. Brady
continued to have an off night and did not impress the college coaches.
Once Brady got home, he threw his basketball shoes out of frustration and screamed, I
QUIT! He did not want to play anymore, because he believed he sucked. The next day at
school, he told the coach that he was not going to continue on. The coach shook his hand and
said, you had a lot of potential, son. And walked away.
Brady went home and all of his brothers tried to talk with him, but he isolated himself
from everyone for a couple hours. Finally, Andrew knocked on Bradys door. Come in, Brady
mumbled with his face in his pillow. Brady, from day one you had it all. The talent, skills and
even attitude. Dont let one bad game decide how you play in the future, Andrew said to Brady.
Brady sat up and thought about what Andrew told him. I suppose I can give it one more try,
replied Brady. Both of the boys smiled and hugged one another.
The next day, Brady knocked on the coaches office door and asked to come in. Brady
walked in and sat down by his desk. What can I help you with today, Brady? asked the coach.
I would like to see if I could be back on the basketball team, Brady said nervously. The coach
sat and looked at Brady for a couple seconds, smiled, and answered, Definitely, Brady. Brady
smiled and shook his hand. Ill see you after school, the coach mentioned as he was walking
out the door.
Brady attended practice and started in every game. Eventually, tournament time came
around. And again, college coaches were watching. The team made it to the state championship
game. Bradys nerves were all over the place, but he took a deep breath and calmed down. The
team runs out and warms up for twenty minutes. Once the timer ran out the boys sat on the bench
to prepare for the players to be introduced. A six foot 5 inch senior, Brady Collins!! the crowd
cheers and college coaches immediately write down his name, number, and height. The game
begins and the Brady immediately steals the ball and puts down a slam dunk. The game went
back and forth with whom was in the lead, but Brady was unstoppable. The show continued and
the boys came out victorious.
 After the game, coaches ran up to Brady asking for contact, when coach K from Duke
University walks up to him. Brady is in awe and shakes his hand while coach K introduces
himself. I would like for you to be on my team next season on a full ride scholarship. You are
good, kid. Really good, coach K offered Brady. He smiled and looked at his foster mom and she
nodded her head. I would love to, replied Brady. Duke has been Bradys favorite basketball
team since he was a little boy. Brady was greeted with love by his teammates once they found
out he is playing for Duke next season. Brady, arent you glad I asked you to play basketball
with us a couple months ago? All of the boys chuckled and boarded the bus and came home as
state champions.

Rubric rating submitted on: 12/14/2017, 9:27:55 PM by danielle.cook@redstreaks.org

5 4 3 2 1 0

Introduction 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

W.3.a creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
Your score: demonstrated Engages and demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Engages and
5 Engages and orient the a couple a few errors several errors orient the
orient the reader by errors exist exist exist reader by
reader by setting out a Engages and Engages and Engages and setting out a
setting out a problem orient the orient the orient the problem
problem (conflict), reader by reader by reader by (conflict),
(conflict), situation, or setting out a setting out a setting out a situation, or
situation, or observation problem problem problem observation
observation and (conflict), (conflict), (conflict), and
and determines its situation, or situation, or situation, or determines its
determines its significance. observation observation observation significance.
significance. Establishes and and and Establishes
Establishes one or determines its determines its determines its one or
one or multiple significance. significance. significance. multiple
multiple point(s) of Establishes Establishes Establishes point(s) of
point(s) of view and one or one or one or view and
view and introduces the multiple multiple multiple introduces the
introduces the narrator point(s) of point(s) of point(s) of narrator
narrator and/or view and view and view and and/or
and/or characters. introduces the introduces the introduces the characters.
characters. narrator narrator narrator
and/or and/or and/or
characters. characters. characters.
Rising Action 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No
& Climax creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
W.3.b,c,d (1) demonstrated Uses dialogue demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Uses dialogue
Your score: Uses dialogue and a couple a few errors several errors and
3 and description errors exist exist exist description
description (characterizat Uses dialogue Uses dialogue Uses dialogue (characterizat
(characterizat ion) to and and and ion) to
ion) to develop description description description develop
develop experiences, (characterizat (characterizat (characterizat experiences,
experiences, events, and/or ion) to ion) to ion) to events, and/or
events, and/or characters. develop develop develop characters.
characters. Uses pacing, experiences, experiences, experiences, Uses pacing,
Uses pacing, reflection , events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or reflection ,
reflection , suspense and characters. characters. characters. suspense and
suspense and foreshadowin Uses pacing, Uses pacing, Uses pacing, foreshadowin
foreshadowin g to develop reflection , reflection , reflection , g to develop
g to develop experiences, suspense and suspense and suspense and experiences,
experiences, events, and/or foreshadowin foreshadowin foreshadowin events, and/or
events, and/or characters. g to develop g to develop g to develop characters.
characters. Sequence experiences, experiences, experiences, Sequence
Sequence events so that events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or events so that
events so that they build on characters. characters. characters. they build on
they build on one another Sequence Sequence Sequence one another
one another to create a events so that events so that events so that to create a
to create a coherent they build on they build on they build on coherent
coherent whole and one another one another one another whole and
whole and build toward to create a to create a to create a build toward
build toward a particular coherent coherent coherent a particular
a particular tone and whole and whole and whole and tone and
tone and outcome (e.g. build toward build toward build toward outcome (e.g.
outcome (e.g. sense of a particular a particular a particular sense of
sense of mystery, tone and tone and tone and mystery,
mystery, suspense, outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. suspense,
suspense, growth, or sense of sense of sense of growth, or
growth, or resolution) mystery, mystery, mystery, resolution)
resolution) Uses clear suspense, suspense, suspense, Uses clear
Uses clear transitions growth, or growth, or growth, or transitions
transitions frequently to resolution) resolution) resolution) frequently to
frequently to help develop Uses clear Uses clear Uses clear help develop
help develop the transitions transitions transitions the
the sequencing of frequently to frequently to frequently to sequencing of
sequencing of events. help develop help develop help develop events.
events. Uses a the the the Uses a
Uses a precise/strong sequencing of sequencing of sequencing of precise/strong
precise/strong words and events. events. events. words and
words and phrases, Uses a Uses a Uses a phrases,
phrases, telling details, precise/strong precise/strong precise/strong telling details,
telling details, and sensory words and words and words and and sensory
and sensory language to phrases, phrases, phrases, language to
language to convey a telling details, telling details, telling details, convey a
convey a vivid picture and sensory and sensory and sensory vivid picture
vivid picture of the language to language to language to of the
of the experiences, convey a convey a convey a experiences,
experiences, events, vivid picture vivid picture vivid picture events,
events, settings of the of the of the settings
settings and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
and/or characters. events, events, events, characters.
characters. Develops a settings settings settings Develops a
Develops a theme and and/or and/or and/or theme and
theme and weave it characters. characters. characters. weave it
weave it throughout Develops a Develops a Develops a throughout
throughout the narrative. theme and theme and theme and the narrative.
the narrative. Presents and weave it weave it weave it Presents and
Presents and develops throughout throughout throughout develops
develops complications the narrative. the narrative. the narrative. complications
complications to lead up to Presents and Presents and Presents and to lead up to
to lead up to the climax develops develops develops the climax
the climax and develops complications complications complications and develops
and develops a clear climax to lead up to to lead up to to lead up to a clear climax
a clear climax or turning the climax the climax the climax or turning
or turning point in the and develops and develops and develops point in the
point in the narrative. a clear climax a clear climax a clear climax narrative.
narrative. Uses or turning or turning or turning Uses
Uses figurative point in the point in the point in the figurative
figurative language in narrative. narrative. narrative. language in
language in the narrative Uses Uses Uses the narrative
the narrative to develop the figurative figurative figurative to develop the
to develop the plot, language in language in language in plot,
plot, characters, the narrative the narrative the narrative characters,
characters, events, and/or to develop the to develop the to develop the events, and/or
events, and/or experiences. plot, plot, plot, experiences.
experiences. Uses at least characters, characters, characters, Uses at least
Uses at least one of the events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or one of the
one of the following: experiences. experiences. experiences. following:
following: irony, Uses at least Uses at least Uses at least irony,
irony, symbolism, one of the one of the one of the symbolism,
symbolism, multiple following: following: following: multiple
multiple plots, irony, irony, irony, plots,
plots, paradox, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, paradox,
paradox, archetype, multiple multiple multiple archetype,
archetype, flashback, or plots, plots, plots, flashback, or
flashback, or stream of paradox, paradox, paradox, stream of
stream of consciousness archetype, archetype, archetype, consciousness
consciousness . flashback, or flashback, or flashback, or .
 . stream of stream of stream of
consciousness consciousness consciousness
. . .

Rising Action 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

& Climax creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
W.3.b,c,d (2) demonstrated Uses dialogue demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Uses dialogue
Your score: Uses dialogue and a couple a few errors several errors and
3 and description errors exist exist exist description
description (characterizat Uses dialogue Uses dialogue Uses dialogue (characterizat
(characterizat ion) to and and and ion) to
ion) to develop description description description develop
develop experiences, (characterizat (characterizat (characterizat experiences,
experiences, events, and/or ion) to ion) to ion) to events, and/or
events, and/or characters. develop develop develop characters.
characters. Uses pacing, experiences, experiences, experiences, Uses pacing,
Uses pacing, reflection , events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or reflection ,
reflection , suspense and characters. characters. characters. suspense and
suspense and foreshadowin Uses pacing, Uses pacing, Uses pacing, foreshadowin
foreshadowin g to develop reflection , reflection , reflection , g to develop
g to develop experiences, suspense and suspense and suspense and experiences,
experiences, events, and/or foreshadowin foreshadowin foreshadowin events, and/or
events, and/or characters. g to develop g to develop g to develop characters.
characters. Sequence experiences, experiences, experiences, Sequence
Sequence events so that events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or events so that
events so that they build on characters. characters. characters. they build on
they build on one another Sequence Sequence Sequence one another
one another to create a events so that events so that events so that to create a
to create a coherent they build on they build on they build on coherent
coherent whole and one another one another one another whole and
whole and build toward to create a to create a to create a build toward
build toward a particular coherent coherent coherent a particular
a particular tone and whole and whole and whole and tone and
tone and outcome (e.g. build toward build toward build toward outcome (e.g.
outcome (e.g. sense of a particular a particular a particular sense of
sense of mystery, tone and tone and tone and mystery,
mystery, suspense, outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. outcome (e.g. suspense,
suspense, growth, or sense of sense of sense of growth, or
growth, or resolution) mystery, mystery, mystery, resolution)
resolution) Uses clear suspense, suspense, suspense, Uses clear
Uses clear transitions growth, or growth, or growth, or transitions
transitions frequently to resolution) resolution) resolution) frequently to
frequently to help develop Uses clear Uses clear Uses clear help develop
help develop the transitions transitions transitions the
the sequencing of frequently to frequently to frequently to sequencing of
sequencing of events. help develop help develop help develop events.
events. Uses a the the the Uses a
Uses a precise/strong sequencing of sequencing of sequencing of precise/strong
precise/strong words and events. events. events. words and
words and phrases, Uses a Uses a Uses a phrases,
phrases, telling details, precise/strong precise/strong precise/strong telling details,
telling details, and sensory words and words and words and and sensory
and sensory language to phrases, phrases, phrases, language to
language to convey a telling details, telling details, telling details, convey a
convey a vivid picture and sensory and sensory and sensory vivid picture
vivid picture of the language to language to language to of the
of the experiences, convey a convey a convey a experiences,
experiences, events, vivid picture vivid picture vivid picture events,
events, settings of the of the of the settings
settings and/or experiences, experiences, experiences, and/or
and/or characters. events, events, events, characters.
characters. Develops a settings settings settings Develops a
Develops a theme and and/or and/or and/or theme and
theme and weave it characters. characters. characters. weave it
weave it throughout Develops a Develops a Develops a throughout
throughout the narrative. theme and theme and theme and the narrative.
the narrative. Presents and weave it weave it weave it Presents and
Presents and develops throughout throughout throughout develops
develops complications the narrative. the narrative. the narrative. complications
complications to lead up to Presents and Presents and Presents and to lead up to
to lead up to the climax develops develops develops the climax
the climax and develops complications complications complications and develops
and develops a clear climax to lead up to to lead up to to lead up to a clear climax
a clear climax or turning the climax the climax the climax or turning
or turning point in the and develops and develops and develops point in the
point in the narrative. a clear climax a clear climax a clear climax narrative.
narrative. Uses or turning or turning or turning Uses
Uses figurative point in the point in the point in the figurative
figurative language in narrative. narrative. narrative. language in
language in the narrative Uses Uses Uses the narrative
the narrative to develop the figurative figurative figurative to develop the
to develop the plot, language in language in language in plot,
plot, characters, the narrative the narrative the narrative characters,
characters, events, and/or to develop the to develop the to develop the events, and/or
events, and/or experiences. plot, plot, plot, experiences.
experiences. Uses at least characters, characters, characters, Uses at least
Uses at least one of the events, and/or events, and/or events, and/or one of the
one of the following: experiences. experiences. experiences. following:
following: irony, Uses at least Uses at least Uses at least irony,
irony, symbolism, one of the one of the one of the symbolism,
symbolism, multiple following: following: following: multiple
multiple plots, irony, irony, irony, plots,
plots, paradox, symbolism, symbolism, symbolism, paradox,
paradox, archetype, multiple multiple multiple archetype,
 archetype, flashback, or plots, plots, plots, flashback, or
flashback, or stream of paradox, paradox, paradox, stream of
stream of consciousness archetype, archetype, archetype, consciousness
consciousness . flashback, or flashback, or flashback, or .
. stream of stream of stream of
consciousness consciousness consciousness
. . .

Falling 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= 1= 0 = No

Action & creatively Demonstrated Attempted to Attempted to Attempted to attempt made
Conclusion demonstrated The problem, demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; The problem,
W.3.e The problem, situation, or a couple a few errors several errors situation, or
situation, or observation is errors exist exist exist observation is
Your score: observation is clearly The problem, The problem, The problem, clearly
3 clearly resolved. situation, or situation, or situation, or resolved.
resolved. Provides a observation is observation is observation is Provides a
Provides a conclusion clearly clearly clearly conclusion
conclusion that follows resolved. resolved. resolved. that follows
that follows from and Provides a Provides a Provides a from and
from and reflects on conclusion conclusion conclusion reflects on
reflects on what is that follows that follows that follows what is
what is experienced, from and from and from and experienced,
experienced, observed, or reflects on reflects on reflects on observed, or
observed, or resolved over what is what is what is resolved over
resolved over the course of experienced, experienced, experienced, the course of
the course of the narrative. observed, or observed, or observed, or the narrative.
the narrative. Reflects upon resolved over resolved over resolved over Reflects upon
Reflects upon the theme(s) the course of the course of the course of the theme(s)
the theme(s) in the the narrative. the narrative. the narrative. in the
in the conclusion to Reflects upon Reflects upon Reflects upon conclusion to
conclusion to leave the the theme(s) the theme(s) the theme(s) leave the
leave the reader with a in the in the in the reader with a
reader with a lasting conclusion to conclusion to conclusion to lasting
lasting message to leave the leave the leave the message to
message to take away reader with a reader with a reader with a take away
take away from the story lasting lasting lasting from the story
from the story and apply to message to message to message to and apply to
and apply to life. take away take away take away life.
life. from the story from the story from the story
and apply to and apply to and apply to
life. life. life.

Mechanics, 5 = Fully and 4= 3= 2= Attempted 1= Attempted 0 = No

 Usage & creatively Demonstrated Attempted to to to attempt made
Style W.1.c,d demonstrated Sentence demonstrate; demonstrate; demonstrate; Sentence
& L. 1 & 2 Sentence variety and a couple a few errors several errors variety and
variety and word choice errors exist exist exist word choice
Your score: word choice is effective Sentence Sentence Sentence is effective
5 is effective and variety and variety and variety and and
and sophisticated. word choice word choice word choice sophisticated.
sophisticated. A formal is effective is effective is effective A formal
A formal style and and and and style and
style and objective tone sophisticated. sophisticated. sophisticated. objective tone
objective tone is established A formal A formal A formal is established
is established and style and style and style and and
and maintained & objective tone objective tone objective tone maintained &
maintained & Writing is is established is established is established Writing is
Writing is clear, and and and clear,
clear, concise, and maintained & maintained & maintained & concise, and
concise, and strong. Writing is Writing is Writing is strong.
strong. Sentences clear, clear, clear, Sentences
Sentences demonstrate concise, and concise, and concise, and demonstrate
demonstrate correct usage, strong. strong. strong. correct usage,
correct usage, punctuation, Sentences Sentences Sentences punctuation,
punctuation, capitalization, demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate capitalization,
capitalization, and spelling. correct usage, correct usage, correct usage, and spelling.
and spelling. punctuation, punctuation, punctuation,
capitalization, capitalization, capitalization,
and spelling. and spelling. and spelling.

Comments:
Total: 19 x 2 = 38/50

http://talkandcomment.com/p/851b27d12189451142822fa5 (voice note)